What’s dumber than believing Donald Trump won the election or that there’s a deep-state cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic lizard people running the government? Believing you can trust Donald Trump to work out a fair payment AFTER you perform a service for him.
Donald Trump has been sued numerous times by contractors for refusing to pay the price he agreed to in a contract. He’s even been sued by the lawyers who represented him in these disputes for non payments. So now Rudy Giuliani is publicly embarrassing himself for a price to be determined later.
Rudy is Trump’s lead legal fucknut in trying to steal the election from Joe Biden. In doing so, he has to present a case of total bullshit and conspiracy theories. Yesterday, Rudy argued a case in Pennsylvania and told the judge he wasn’t accusing anyone of voter fraud…and then blamed it all on voter fraud. He must have thought he was on Hannity.
There are reports that Rudy is charging $20,000 a day to represent Donald Trump in this attempt to steal the election. Rudy says those reports are lies…and you know how we can always trust Rudy to tell the truth. Rudy says they’ll work out a price after they’re done stealing the election and Donald Trump begins his second term.
Is Donald Trump stupid? Yes, he is, but he’s not dumb enough to pay Rudy $20,000 a day of his own money. His supporters are paying Rudy.
There’s only one thing dumber than voting for Donald Trump and that’s giving money to elect Donald Trump. His grifting is on public record. He publicly cried for an international summit to be given to one of his shitty golf resorts. A court has barred him and three of his shitty kids from participating with any charitable organizations in New York state because he stole from his own charity. Most people would go to prison for something like that. As president (sic), Donald Trump has directed millions of dollars of taxpayer money into his businesses. On top of all that, his campaign conducts events at his resorts where the Trump Campaign pays a fee to Donald Trump.
Giving money to support Donald Trump is like buying a new watch for the guy who stole your watch. So if you’re still giving money to the Trump Campaign, you’re giving it to Donald Trump. And if you’re dumb enough to give Trump money…are you dumb enough to believe a second Trump term will be saved by Rudy Giuliani, the guy who got scammed by Borat?
Part of this entire bullshit propaganda of Trump really winning the election and having it stolen by Democrats is to steal the election from Joe Biden. Another reason is to destroy faith in the government that takes over in January and make Joe Biden fail. But perhaps the greatest reason for this scam is that the Trump Campaign is still raising money for it.
But this time, it’s not going to a legal fight as much as it’s paying off campaign debt…and going into Donald Trump’s pockets. Maybe Trump will put the cash into his secret Chinese bank account or maybe he’ll put it towards the $500 million or so he owes to shady mystery creditors (probably Russians). Or maybe he’ll band use to pay off a real lawyer to help Rudy out the next time he tries to lure a teenage girl into a Manhattan hotel room supposedly for drinks while his hand is down his pants.
What’s almost just as crazy as believing Donald Trump will pay you later…or that Rudy Giuliani should lead your legal defense, is believing the election was stolen from Donald Trump.
70% of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election and it’s being stolen by Democrats. And just like they didn’t have proof when a majority believed President Obama was born in Kenya, they don’t have any proof of massive voter fraud.
But hey, Republicans don’t need proof for bullshit. Ask Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, or Donald Trump. And now with members of Qanon actually being elected to the United States Congress, anything goes.
Republicans don’t have any relationship with the truth. At this time, only four Republican senators have accepted that Joe Biden has won the election. Two Republicans senators are screaming for the secretary of state of Georgia to resign because he counted more votes for Biden than for Trump. Another senator has called the same secretary of state suggesting he throw out votes for Biden. You know, votes cast by black people.
Republicans don’t have integrity, don’t care about democracy, and don’t care about the truth. Don’t believe me? Let’s go grab dinner at Comet Pizza and ask them about it. Actually, I’m joking. I’d never have dinner with a Republican. I can’t eat while looking at you people.
Here’s a fact: Donald Trump will not be president after noon on January 20, 2021. Why? Because of the fact Joe Biden beat his ass in the presidential election. Donald Trump lost the election fair and square and there’s not enough Rudy bullshit in the world to change that fact.
Here’s an unfortunate fact: All these idiots who would rather believe in conspiracy theories about voter fraud, lizard people, devil worshippers, or Democratic pedophilic pizza makers, will still be around after Donald Trump is gone.
Another fun fact: Fuck COVID. I’m not going anywhere either.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to email@example.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.
Watch me draw.