Hush Fund


cjones08242018

There has been speculation that Special Counsel Robert Mueller may be considering federal bribery charges against Donald Trump for offering pardons for silence. Former Trump attorney John Dowd allegedly told lawyers representing Paul J. Manafort and Michael Flynn last year that Trump would consider pardons if the two men got into legal trouble. Flynn is cooperating with Mueller, but a jury is currently deliberating over sending Manafort to prison for the rest of his life, yet he still is not cooperating with the Special Counsel’s office. Manafort’s lack of cooperation isn’t based on a strong sense of ethics.

Now Robert Mueller may be interested in other ways Trump pays to silence people. Omarosa Manigault Newman, former Apprentice star and White House aide (whoever thought that’d be in a sentence?) claims she was offered $15,000 a month to keep quiet about her time in the White House (That!…I totally expected to see in a sentence) and that she had to sign a nondisclosure agreement.

The White House called her claims lies, yet she produced hard evidence in the form of a taped recording of Lara Trump (If Don Jr. and Eric are Dumb and Dumber, she’s married to Dumber. Dumb is getting a divorce) offering her a job in the Trump Campaign paying $15,000 a month. Naturally, she’d have to be silent, yet she could live anywhere she wants and wouldn’t have to do much if any work at all. Basically, just work on keeping her mouth shut.

Omarosa’s claim is also supported by the fact there are several former White House staffers making that same amount, or near to it, working for the Trump Campaign. $15,000 is a magic number.

ABC News checked out financial election filings and reported what Trump sycophants will probably call “fake news,” facts that support Omarosa’s claims.

Some have been paid by the Trump Campaign, while others were paid by the Republican National Committee and America First PAC, a political action committee dedicated to Trump’s re-election.

Monthly payments have been made to the former director of Oval Office operations Keith Schiller, former personal assistant to the president John McEntee, former digital media director of the Trump campaign Brad Parscale, and former director of advertising for the Trump campaign Gary Coby.

McEntee was fired after issues with his security clearance (surprise) and was hired by the Trump Campaign within hours of being escorted out of the White House (Probably escorted out like Jazz was escorted out of the mansion by Uncle Phil in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, which is how I’m hoping Trump is eventually escorted out).

Former White House Spokesgoon Sean Spicer called Omarosa’s claims a lie since she said he had signed a nondisclosure agreement. Spicer claims he never signed one and is not being paid by the Trump Campaign. It’s kind of surprising that it wasn’t pressure, obligation, or payment to encouraged him to write, “a unicorn riding a unicorn jumping over a rainbow” in describing Donald Trump (If Trump was to resemble a fictional beast, it wouldn’t be a unicorn. It’d be a wookalar. Look that up). Apparently, he did that self-disembowelment pro bono. Spicer now runs a communications firm, which begs to ask, who’d be dumb enough to hire a guy for communications who communicated the unicorn/unicorn/rainbow line? Probably anyone dumb enough to donate to the Trump Campaign.

It does take a special kind of stupid to give money to a guy who steals from charities and an extra layer of duh to continue giving it to a campaign that uses it to shut people up. If you’re contributing to the Trump Campaign, your money is being used to bribe in addition to other Trump expenditures (like porn stars and playmates to keep quiet).

Donald Trump is a con man and a grifter. He’s not making America great again, but when this is all said and done, you can keep the crappy cap.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw Episode 200!!!

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Gay Marriage Legalized In Costa Rica


crsta08102018

This cartoon ran August 10, in The Costa Rica Star.

That nation’s Supreme Court ruled Costa Rica’s gay-marriage ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory, and they’ve given the legislative assembly eighteen months to change the law, or it becomes legal automatically.

The president, who was recently elected overwhelmingly with a pro-gay agenda against a staunch anti-gay evangelical, welcomed the ruling, saying he wants to guarantee “no person will face discrimination for their sexual orientation”. The legislative assembly may feel differently.

The legislative chamber has 57 seats, 14 of which are held by evangelical members. Costa Rica is a predominantly Catholic nation. While prostitution is legal, abortion is not.

Last January, the Inter-American Human Rights Court said same-sex marriage should be recognized by all of its signatory members, which includes Costa Rica.

Gay marriage is coming to Costa Rica, even if lawmakers sit on their hands and do nothing about it.

Living pura vida.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Here’s the video.

Parade Gets A Deferment


cjones08232018

I thought Trump was supposed to be a great deal maker. After Washington, D.C. put a huge price tag on allowing him to parade tanks down Pennsylvania Avenue, you’d have thought he would have negotiated them down. At the very least he could have got Mexico to pay for it.

Trump, who got five deferments to avoid going to Vietnam, said prisoners of war aren’t heroes, and battles with Gold Star families, really wants us to know he loves the military. He’s been hankering to present a macho strong authoritarian image in the form of a military parade.

He was especially inspired by the military parade celebrating Bastille Day on a trip to Paris. Instead of a taste for tanks and rocket launchers, you’d think he would have returned with a sophisticated palate for wine and cheese. Even his taste in mistresses hasn’t improved.

Washington, D.C. was never excited about the parade and the prospect of Pennsylvania Avenue being torn to shreds by the treads on 68-ton tanks. Also, not in love with the idea of a military parade is the actual military. Why? Because it’s a waste of time, money, and totally unnecessary. But to be fair, our admirals and generals probably haven’t had their penises laughed at as much as Trump has.

The initial cost estimate was around $12 million, but after D.C. tacked on another $21 million for local expenses (which the federal government would have to reimburse), and the mayor tweeted that she “finally got thru to the reality star in the White House with the realities,” the plans were put on hold. The estimate is now at $92 million. As usual, Trump reacted calmly and with great patience and understanding. Nah, he did what Trump does best. He had a conniption fit on Twitter.

Trump accused the District of inflating the price, despite the lack of any evidence. He accused the local politicians of running the city poorly, even though the city has the highest credit rating possible and a $2 billion surplus. However, the city is majority black as are their elected government, and only four percent of their electorate voted for Trump. So, I’m sure Trump will manage to get his sycophants to blame the city and accuse them of not supporting our troops.

Why wouldn’t they accuse the city of being unpatriotic? They believe Trump is putting “America first” while engaging in treasonous behavior with Vladimir Putin. And, they’re angry at New York Governor Andrew Cuomo for daring to say America “is not great” despite that literally being a part of Trump’s campaign slogan.

Trump still hopes to have a parade in 2019, but for this year, he plans to go to a parade at Joint Base Andrews (who didn’t know they were having a parade) and to attend another in Paris, this time to commemorate Armistice Day.

The biggest bummer in all of this for Trump is that the Trump Hotel in Washington won’t be booked to capacity for out-of-town visitors to view a pointless military parade. He’ll need to schedule several more visits to his hideously garish golf resorts to bilk as much as he can out of the government, and show the city leaders in Washington how over inflating pricing is really done.

Do you think Kim Jong Un would let the mayor of Pyongyang yank him around?

Creative note: I wasn’t sure about this idea because Andy Borowitz had already done the bone spur thing. I got this idea yesterday, and then I saw a link to Borowitz’s column. I shared the link on social media while lamenting the luck. Then, it was pointed out to me that it was a repost from February. I considered it some more and since I did think of the idea myself and Borowitz isn’t a cartoonist, I decided to go with it. But, I had to think it over until about 5:00 AM this morning.

As my friend and cartoon critic Mike Peterson wrote today, “I feel sorry for American workers, but I particularly pity Andy Borowitz and the staff of the Onion, because the genuine idiocy is outpacing their ability to invent stupid things.” Oh yeah? What about us cartoonists, buddy?

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.

Emenies List


cjones08222018

Paul Conrad, perhaps the greatest political cartoonist in American history, was furious when he found out he wasn’t on Nixon’s infamous enemies list. It turned out he actually was when the second list was revealed. A second list? Nixon hated a lot of people. Conrad later said being included was his greatest distinction, and he won three Pulitzers. Can you imagine if Nixon had Twitter?

Trump, who is not a student of history, gets off having an enemies list. He’s even made it public and had White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders read it from the podium. Like Nixon, this is probably just Trump’s first list.

This list targets people with security clearances who have criticized Trump. Wednesday, Trump surprised everyone by revoking the clearance of former director of the CIA, John Brennan. Brennan has been highly critical of Trump and Baby Twittler Cheeto face doesn’t like that.

Why do former officials have security clearances? It’s not for them, it’s for us. There may be situations where current officials need feedback from their predecessor. They will often have to update them on current events to get a fair judgement. These former officials are not receiving daily briefings. Trump has decided his ego is more important than national security.

Brennan is an analyst now for MSNBC, and the White House accuses him of using his clearance to get that job, as though he’s going to dish classified information on Rachel Maddow. They issued a statement from Trump about “the risks posed by his erratic conduct and behavior,” Brennan’s, not Trump’s. They also accused Brennan of having “leveraged his status as a former high-ranking official with access to highly sensitive information to make a series of unfounded and outrageous allegations, wild outbursts on the internet and television about this administration.” They didn’t specify any unfounded or outrageous allegations.

Of course, the current administration doesn’t know the difference between national security clearances and non-disclosure agreements, as though ISIS locations being targeted are as vital to national security as Trump’s hemorrhoids.

Later, to the Wall Street Journal, Trump stated that he pulled the clearance, and is thinking of pulling others because of the Russia investigation saying, it’s a “sham,” and “these people led it.” We know he doesn’t like to read, but could he at least read the official statement he supposedly wrote?

Other officials on the enemies list are former FBI Director James Comey (who was fired for the Russia investigation), James Clapper, the former director of national intelligence; former CIA Director Michael Hayden; former national security adviser Susan Rice; and Andrew McCabe, who served as Trump’s deputy FBI director until he was fired in March.

Also, on the list: fired FBI agent Peter Strzok, who was removed from the Russia investigation over anti-Trump text messages; former FBI lawyer Lisa Page, with whom Strzok exchanged messages; and senior Justice Department official Bruce Ohr, whom Trump recently accused on Twitter of “helping disgraced Christopher Steele ‘find dirt on Trump.'”

Michael Flynn fired for lying to the FBI and who was in secret contact with Russians, and Jared Kushner, who sought a back channel of communications with the Kremlin so the CIA couldn’t monitor them, still have their clearances.

The statement to revoke Brennan’s clearance was dated July 26, which shows they were holding it as a distraction for when something big hit the White House. Enter Omarosa. Unfortunately for the White House, Omarosa has more secret tapes, the latest revealing the Trump train had tried to pay her $15,000 a month to remain silent. Trump is using national security clearances for political leverage. When asked why they didn’t revoke the clearance last week, the White House cited Trump’s busy schedule, which consisted of golf in New Jersey and Trump rallies.

Republicans in Congress were quite pleased with this and are supporting the president. Apparently, they believe any criticism of the president is a threat to national security. Louisiana Senator John Kennedy even called Brennan a “butthead.” Republicans are forgetting they won’t hold power forever. Can you imagine how many kittens would come shooting out of their manginas if Obama had done this?

In an extraordinary maneuver, twelve former CIA chiefs issued a joint statement critical of Trump’s revocation of security clearances and in defense of Brennan. They said the accusations from Trump are “baseless” and this is “an attempt to stifle free speech.”

Brennan wrote in The New York Times that this was a move to end the Russia investigation and Trump’s claim of no collusion by Trump was “hogwash.” He also wrote, “The only question remaining is whether the collusion amounts to a “constituted criminally liable conspiracy.” I’m going to say yes.

William H McRaven, the retired Navy admiral who oversaw the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, called Trump’s moves “McCarthy-era tactics”, adding he would “consider it an honour” if Mr Trump revoked his clearance as well.

“Through your actions, you have embarrassed us in the eyes of our children, humiliated us on the world stage and, worst of all, divided us as a nation,” McRaven wrote in an opinion piece for The Washington Post.

Quite frankly I’m going to feel jilted if I never make Trump’s enemies list. For now, I’ll have to settle for his sycophants on social media calling me the “enemy of the American people.”

Trump, his sycophants, and those in Congress supporting his politicizing of security clearances are all buttheads.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.


cjones08212018

I really am not a fan of obituary cartoons to begin with, but I especially despise Heaven and Pearly Gates cartoons, even when I draw them. So, if I can work around it I will.

I love Aretha. She was amazing and definitely the queen of soul. To me, she may have been the queen of music. “Respect” isn’t actually my favorite song of hers. I like “Think” a lot better. Her vocals were always amazing, but I was impressed, even as a kid, with her on that tune. It also helps that I watched the Blues Brothers about a million times.

R.I.P., Aretha.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.

Creeper Confessions


cjones08202018

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.

Strzok Gets Struck


cjones08192018

Peter Strzok was an FBI agent with 22 years experience who had investigated Russian spies, defense officials accused of selling secrets to China and other assorted cases of extreme importance. He was also the agent in charge of investigating Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server while she was Secretary of State and the Russia case.

During his investigation of Clinton’s server, Strzok exchanged texts with FBI lawyer Lisa Page, with who he was having an affair. The texts were discovered while he was the lead investigator for Special Counsel Robert Mueller, who swiftly removed him from the investigation of Russiagate.

The director of the FBI office that usually handles employee discipline had decided that Strzok should be demoted for having a rational viewpoint and suspended for 60 days. The Deputy Director of the FBI ignored that advice and decided to fire Strzok on Monday.

The text Republicans keep clinging to is one where Strzok was replying to Page’s concern about Trump being elected. Strzok texted, “we’ll stop him.” Republicans claim this is proof of conspiracy within the agency to destroy Trump and not a comment from a regular citizen referencing the voters of America. The Trump campaign was under investigation by the FBI for colluding with Russia before the election, but Strzok never leaked or made the investigation public knowledge, though the FBI held press conferences and leaked information about investigating Hillary Clinton. Oddly enough, those leaks went straight to Rudy Giuliani who is now campaigning to end the Russia investigation because of FBI bias.

Trump and his sycophants are using Strzok’s text as proof that Mueller’s Russia investigation is a hoax and should be shut down, the dossier is fake, Hillary Clinton should be re-investigated and thrown into prison, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein should be fired, everyone should vote Republican, Donald Trump isn’t a racist, and he only weighs 239 pounds.

What this really proves is that each day of the Trump administration brings us one step closer to an authoritarian government. People have literally been fired for expressing a negative viewpoint about Donald Trump (and this one’s not a political cartoonist in Pittsburgh).

When assigning agents to investigate politicians, is it now mandatory that they not have any political opinions about anything? Or, are they allowed to have them just so long as they favor Trump? The problem with this is how does anyone who familiarizes himself with a subject not have an opinion about that person? Are cops required to have neutral feelings about the people they’re in a shoot-out with? When they encounter pedophiles, do they not have any negative views about them until they’re convicted?

If this is the new standard in today’s chaotic new normal, we’re going to encounter problems finding people competent enough to do their jobs. Any professional who is educated, intelligent, rational, with half a brain, and not in a coma is going to have a negative viewpoint of Donald Trump. Have you seen and heard Donald Trump? Currently, only about 39% of Americans have a favorable view of Donald Trump, and they’re all Nazis. OK, maybe they’re not all Nazis, but they’re OK with a guy who is OK with Nazis. Do we really want Nazi sympathizers in charge of investigations? We can’t have everything run like Congressional committees.

Perhaps the most bizarre thing about this (other than there is a sex scandal connected to Trump where you don’t have to get a mental image of Trump boinking playmates, raw dogging porn stars, being spanked with a Forbes magazine with his daughter on the cover, or engaging in a pee-pee contest with Russian hookers) is that between Trump and Strzok, one has testified in front of Congress and the other refused to answer questions to Robert Mueller.

The most hypocritical aspect is that Strzok was fired for texting a viewpoint while Trump has been tweeting that Strzok should be fired, thus muddying up the entire review process at the FBI with his idiotic viewpoints. If that’s not meddling in an investigation or with the Justice Department, then I don’t know what is.

We can’t conduct a bloodletting in government agencies of those who harbor negative views of Trump. We need competent people serving our nation. If we only hire people who respect Trump, then we’re going to have a government staffed with the likes of Michael Cohens and Omarosas.

This is truly ironic because it might be Michael Cohen and Omarosa who bring down the Trump administration.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.