Fat Broads And Horse-Faced Lesbians


cjones02272020

I wish men who have a history of calling women “fat broads” and “horse-faced lesbians” wouldn’t even bother with running for president because this was a nation that wouldn’t consider such a jackal for our highest office. Unfortunately, this is a nation where there are enough voters, with the help of Wikileaks, Vladimir Putin, and some ill-timed FBI announcements, to put a self-described “pussy grabber” in the White House.

The bar for expectations was lowered for Former New York City mayor and multi-billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s first presidential debate. It wasn’t lowered enough. But maybe he would have performed better if Elizabeth Warren wasn’t standing next to him because, within the opening minutes, his night was done. Warren engaged in a scorched-earth strategy last night and she didn’t take prisoners. If there was a bar lowered for Mayor Bloomy, she took it and beat his ass with it.

While every candidate on the stage, Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Amy Klobuchar, and Pete Buttigieg were determined to chip away at Bloomberg’s standing in the polls, it was Warren who drew blood.

Bloomberg was a late entry into the Democratic primary and wasn’t on the ballots in Iowa or New Hampshire. He won’t be on the ballots in South Carolina or Nevada. We’ll have to wait until Super Tuesday to see how he performs in an actual contest. But with the millions of his own money he’s been pumping into the race, he’s rising in the polls. In my state of Virginia, he’s responsible for over 99% of all political ads to this point of the 2020 campaign. Right now, you’re not going to see another candidate on the air in Virginia except for Donald Trump. It’s not just his face on television. Bloomberg is also hiring and building a huge campaign organization. In Colorado, for example, Bloomberg has a staff of 55. By comparison, the current front runner, Bernie Sanders, has two.

So, with Bloomberg spending big and building a campaign his rivals can only dream of, they each took their shots last night in Las Vegas. If it was a shooting gallery at the state fair, it was Warren who won the giant stuffed monkey as all her shots hit.

Warren hit Bloomberg for alleged sexist comments he’s made and non-disclosure agreements signed by former employees.

Warren started with, “A billionaire who calls women ‘fat broads’ and ‘horse-faced lesbians.’ And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.” Interestingly enough, Bloomberg didn’t defend himself or deny he made those comments.

About 40 minutes into the debate, it came back to Bloomberg who boasted of paying and promoting women equally in his company and said, “I have no tolerance for the kind of behavior that the #MeToo movement has exposed.” Warren shot back, “I hope you heard what his defense was: ‘I’ve been nice to some women.’ That just doesn’t cut it.”

Then Warren challenged him to state how many non-disclosure agreements were signed and to release all the women from the deals and allow their alleged accounts of harassment or discrimination to become public. Bloomberg didn’t release them last night and made a poor defense stating, “None of them accused me of anything other than maybe they didn’t like a joke I told.”

Bloomberg’s responses couldn’t have been worse for him if his opponents had written them.

A lot of people were tweeting that Elizabeth Warren killed Michael Bloomberg. In fact, for a minute, his Wikipedia page reflected that he had been murdered by Elizabeth Warren in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A statement by his campaign reflected that Bloomberg sucked the suckiest suck that ever sucked on a debate stage with, “He was just warming up tonight.” Dude, with all the money you spent, your campaign needs to bullshit better than that. But, he doesn’t have to warm up because he got roasted with Warren’s flamethrower.

Donald Trump tweeted, “Mini Mike Bloomberg’s debate performance tonight was perhaps the worst in the history of debates, and there have been some really bad ones. He was stumbling, bumbling and grossly incompetent. If this doesn’t knock him out of the race, nothing will. Not so easy to do what I did!” That is true. Donald Trump’s debate performances were stumbling, bumbling, and grossly incompetent, yet he stayed in the race. That wasn’t easy, what with all his debate performances being “really bad ones.”

But Trump unknowingly, like most things he makes, makes a point. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how poorly you perform in a debate. Donald Trump never won a debate in 2016. In fact, he never went through a debate without looking like a total, sexist, racist jackass who didn’t know shit about shit. Donald Trump went through 11 debates where all he talked about was making Mexico pay for a wall and the size of his penis (No, I’m not saying Mexico was going to pay to increase his penis size. They’d need something to work with). The one thing Bloomberg has going for him is that Americans may push aside past sexist comments and the fact he’s not a total freaking idiot like Donald Trump. And then there’s his money. While Donald Trump is a pretend billionaire, Bloomberg is an actual billionaire.

If Donald Trump had to produce a billion dollars in cash today, he wouldn’t be able to do it, even with all the stealing he’s doing from emoluments and from campaign donations. Meanwhile, Bloomberg is doing it as we speak. Elizabeth Warren even predicted it’s how he’ll recover from last night’s stinky debate performance.

She told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, “After his performance tonight, I have no doubt he is about to drop another $100 million … in order to erase America’s memory of what happened on that debate stage.” She’s probably right and it will probably work.

Of course, Donald Trump had something going for him in 2016 that Bloomberg doesn’t have today. Trump was in the Republican primary where “grab them by the pussy” or racist comments weren’t dealbreakers. If anything, they helped him with Republicans. Bloomberg is in the Democratic primary which is where the majority of women and minorities in this nation vote. Plus, Democrats have higher standards.

Michael Bloomberg is a former Republican who is a New York City billionaire who has made a lot of sexist comments and is a terrible presidential candidate. We already have that in Trump. But if Bloomberg emerges as the nominee, I’ll still be voting for Michael Bloomberg for president. I’ll probably be in the shower drying for the next three days afterward, but still…I’ll be voting for Bloomberg.

On another note, why isn’t “The Horse-Faced Lesbians” a punk rock band?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Pardo For Blago


cjones02262020

The Trump cult likes to believe Donald Trump is a great negotiator. So how do they deal with the fact that he’s been publicly out-negotiated by people like Nancy Pelosi and Kim Jong Un? They pretend it never happened. They were proud of Trump being a billionaire who promised to release his taxes. When he broke that promise, they forget he ever made it. They scream about Democratic Socialists candidates promising free stuff when Donald Trump literally promised them a free wall. Today, you don’t hear any of them saying anything about Mexico paying for it while Trump guts the military for his favorite racist vanity project. Donald Trump promised he wouldn’t have time to play golf. So what do they do with that broken promise and Trump spending more taxpayer money on golf than any president before him? They talk about the amount of golf Obama played.

So, with Republicans, members of the Trump cult, fucknuts, assorted shitweasels, and MAGAts upset over their savior granting clemency to former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, how will they come to terms with this? Blago was their go-to as proof Democrats were corrupt. He was a stain on Obama’s presidency in that he attempted to sell the Senate seat the new president vacated after winning the 2008 election.

I saw a few posts today by Trump cultists trying to deal with it. Some are claiming it’s the height of hypocrisy for Democrats to rejoice at this while calling Trump corrupt. Excuse me, but can someone point out the Democrats who are happy over this? No, fucknuts. Democrats impeached the Illinois governor (in the Illinois House, 114-1. In the Senate, 59-0). The height of hypocrisy is campaigning on draining the swamp and running against “pay for play” then pardoning Rod Blagojevich. The height of hypocrisy is being upset over this only because Blago is a Democrat.

After leaving federal prison, Blagojevich stated he’s a “Trumpocrat,” whatever the hell that is.

One interesting detail to this is that Trump isn’t really acknowledging that Blago did anything wrong. He’s blaming the James “Comey gang and all these sleazebags” for Blago being caught despite the fact James Comey wasn’t FBI Director, anywhere near this case or even the Justice Department (he was in the private sector) at the time of the Blago investigation. Leave it to Trump to blame the “deep state” while pardoning Rod Blagojevich. Trump said, “That was a tremendously powerful, ridiculous sentence in my opinion and in the opinion of many others.” If you have to lie to justify your actions, then you probably did the wrong thing. Blago didn’t just attempt to sell a Senate seat. He was also convicted of a shakedown attempt involving a racetrack and for withholding taxpayer money from a children’s hospital until its CEO donated to his political campaign. Hmmm…who else is all about withholding taxpayer money for his own benefit and would steal from a children’s charity?

Trump didn’t just stop with Blago. He went on a pardon spree. His pardons are focusing on the types of crimes, lying, and corruption his associates have been convicted of in the Russia investigation.

Trump used his presidential pardoning powers on convicted junk bond king Michael Milken and former New York police commissioner Bernard Kerik who was convicted of tax fraud. He pardoned Edward DeBartolo Jr., the billionaire former owner of the San Francisco 49ers who was convicted in an extortion case involving the former governor of Louisiana, Edwin Edwards. He pardoned David Safavian, a senior official in the George W. Bush administration who was convicted of obstructing a federal investigation as part of the scandal surrounding lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

There are over 13,000 people currently waiting for a response to their clemency requests, but white-collar white guys who are friends of Trump get to cut to the head of the line. Blago, for example, was on Trump’s fake reality TV show (which probably made federal prison seem like less of a fall from grace after putting yourself into a situation to be judged and graded by Donald Trump). So far, Trump has only granted clemency to one African-American (no, not O.J.), the late boxer Jack Johnson (which was lobbied for by Kim Kardashian). Then, Trump used that pardon in a campaign commercial during the Super Bowl. I guess pardoning a dead black guy is OK because he can’t move into any Republican neighborhoods.

Trump also didn’t go through the normal protocol of reviewing cases suggested by the Justice Department. Instead, he relied on what his friends were saying. Milken’s pardon was recommended by a friend who threw Trump a $10 million fundraiser at Mar-a-Lago Saturday night (by the way. A lot of that $10 million raised for Trump’s campaign will go to Trump. What? You think he’s loaning out Mar-a-Lago for free? Drain the swamp, indeed). Some of these pardons were recommended by Geraldo Rivera, Andrew Napolitano, Maria Bartiromo, Chris Christie, Newsmax Media’s Christopher Ruddy, and Rudy Guiliani, who’ll probably also lobby for his own pardon very soon. Even the Navy SEAL, Eddie Gallagher, who Trump granted clemency to recently argued for Kerik’s pardon, who was a Gallagher defender on Fox News/Trump TV.

The head of the pardon office in the Department of Justice during the first two years of the Trump administration told The Washington Post that he quit last year because the White House had sidelined his office in favor of taking its cues from celebrities, political allies, and Fox News.

There’s a lot of talk in the press about Trump issuing pardons for Roger Manafort, Michael Flynn, and Roger Stone. But I think those will wait until after the election, which will now be supported by fundraisers held by the beneficiaries of these corrupt billionaire pardons.

Donald Trump is not draining the swamp. He’s the swamp’s Santa Claus. And it’s not so much that Trump is pardoning, and talked of pardoning, so many criminals connected to him, but that the president is connected to so many criminals.

So, how will Trump cultists, fucknuts, assorted shitweasels, and MAGAts overcome this pardoning of corrupt Democrat Rob Blagojevich? First, they’ll stop talking about it. And since most of them are former Never Trumpers, by tomorrow afternoon, they’ll be defending it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Meet The Millers


cjones02252020

I spent Sunday night in Washington, D.C. in a crappy hotel room. It wasn’t a Motel 6 or any chain type hotel. It was just a really old hotel that appears to have been neglected. It was so outdated, that I had an actual key, not a card, to my room. I was complaining about how tiny the desk was because I could barely squeeze both legs under it…until I realized the socket next to it didn’t work and I was able to move it across the room. I needed my tablet to charge so I could cartoon. The elevator in the place took so long that you were better off taking the stairs. The pillows were more like non-pillows that were created just to tease your skull. And finally, the toilet broke. But, I at least have the comfort that creepy Trump goon Stephen Miller has probably never had sex in that room.

First off, it was next to the Algerian embassy and several others on the street were African and there’s no way Stephen Miller would be able to sleep that close to so many “shithole” countries. Secondly, it wasn’t a Trump property.

All Trump goons do their business at Trump’s hotel in Washington. They all have lunch there. Rudy Giuliani and his goons strategized their Ukraine gooning there. They all book rooms there. William Barr booked a party there. Former EPA chief Scott Pruitt wanted to purchase a used mattress from there (just buy a new mattress). And, Stephen Miller got married there over the weekend. Was the Fuhrerbunker already booked?

Sorry, ladies. Stephen Miller is now taken.

I know what you’re thinking. How did Stephen goose-stepping, spray-on-hair-using, talk-show-shouting, brown-people-hating Miller find a woman willing to marry him? My first thought was it’s a mail-order bride thing and no pictures were exchanged beforehand. That would be horrifying to see that in the airport terminal holding a sign with your name on it. But, no. This woman didn’t just see Captain Forehead beforehand. She actually knows him.

Katie Waldman, the new Mrs. Miller, is press secretary for Mike Pence. While attending the University of Florida, she was responsible for destroying hundreds of copies of the school newspaper after it endorsed an opposing student government candidate. She was press secretary at the Department of Homeland Security and was on Arizona Senator Martha McSally’s staff. McSally was the one who called CNN’s Manu Raju a “liberal hack” for asking her a question. In Washington, vile people run together.

But, congratulations, Katie. Enjoy the many years to come of running your fingers through that scalp.

Stephen Miller may be one of the most horrid people in the Trump administration and maybe the entire Republican Party. He helped write Trump’s “American carnage” inaugural address and went on a news show afterward to say, “The president’s authority would not be questioned.” He was behind the Muslim ban. Recently, the Southern Poverty Law Center discovered he promoted white nationalist views in emails with Breitbart News during the 2016 campaign. He was central to Trump’s “zero tolerance” in which every adult who illegally crosses the border faced criminal prosecution. He was also heavily involved with the blanket policy of separating families and throwing babies in jail.

While working at DHS, Katie told the press that there wasn’t a blanket policy of separating families. Of course, that was a lie which is probably what made her and Stephen Miller creepy soul mates. Lying and racism. They should have his and her towels.

Katie is also full-on Trump troglodyte with Stephen, so they have that in common. In fact, they’re such sycophantic Trump MAGAts, they got married at Trump’s Washington hotel. Maybe Stephen would have burst into flames by walking into a church, but why Trump’s hotel? Can’t these people at least have one special day in their lives without kissing Donald Trump’s ass? No. They can’t.

While it’s disturbing to think of the prospect of Stephen Miller procreating, the real irony is that any offspring of his probably should be kept in cages.

Support the cartoonist.

 

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Smackdown For MAGAts


cjones02242020

Spoiler alert: Professional wrestling is fake. Another spoiler alert: So is Donald Trump and his entire administration.

When I was a kid, my friends and I actually had debates over whether professional wrestling was real. Even if you were on the side of it being real, you still knew it was fake. Today, it seems professional wrestling fans are totally in on it, but they still enjoy the “sport. OK, like NASCAR, it’s not a sport, so it totally makes sense that Donald Trump made an appearance at one of their events yesterday.

But Trump fans are less sophisticated than wrestling fans. They don’t know Donald Trump is fake. They think the guy is an actual billionaire. They think he’s donating his entire presidential salary without getting anything in return (Psst, emoluments, fuckers). They think he’s a great negotiator. They think he’s smart. They think he knows stuff. They don’t think he’s an idiot, or a racist, or a sexist, or a narcissistic shitstain in our nation’s history. Most of all, they actually believe Donald Trump cares and can relate to them.

A few months ago, my ex-girlfriend asked me if I knew wrestling was big right now. I did not know that but it totally makes sense. I mean, if Donald Trump can fool enough people to steal a presidential election, then there’s gotta be a lot of people watching wrestling.

And it’s appropriate to compare Donald Trump to wrestling because he has a relationship with wrestling, which was probably more real to him than his reality show. Donald Trump worked a program with the World Wrestling Entertainment company. It was a program where two billionaires, Trump and the owner of the company, Vincent McMahon, battled each other at Wrestlemania (the Super Bowl of wrestling) vicariously through wrestlers. The loser got his head shaved. No, it doesn’t make sense to me either. Of course, Donald Trump didn’t actually wrestle but he did jump on McMahon at one point to throw some fake punches. At the end of the show, he got to shave McMahon’s head and then…a bald wrestler gave Donald Trump what is called a “stunner.” I could watch that video clip all day.

Trump’s wrestling connection goes further. Reportedly, McMahon or the WWE (not sure which) paid Trump $4 million for his Wrestlemania gig. But, they didn’t “pay” him. They donated the money to the Trump Foundation. You know, that organization the state of New York recently shut down because of Trump’s corruption with it? But, with Trump taking the money as a donation to his charity, that means he didn’t have to pay taxes on it. Later, Trump used money from that charity to buy portraits of himself and sports memorabilia, pay off legal fees for his shitty bedbug-ridden gold resorts, and make political bribes to one of the lawyers who eventually defended his impeachment before the United States Senate. He also used the charity to make donations to veteran groups in coordination with presidential campaign events, which is illegal. Man, I could making this shit up, but I’m not.

After Donald Trump was elected (fake) to the presidency, he made Linda McMahon, Vince’s wife and CEO of the rasslin’ company, the head of the Small Business Administration. On April 12, 2019, she stepped down. On the 15th of April (in case you’re a Republican, that’s three days later), she was appointed as Chairman of America First Action, a pro-Trump Super PAC, where she plans to raise and spend $300 million in battleground states to reelect Trump. If there’s a reason not to watch wrestling, it’s that right there. Linda herself is a former Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate. Thankfully, she lost.

It makes sense that Linda McMahon would chair a Trump Super PAC since she’s already headed one unethical enterprise. She was CEO of WWE and no, it’s not unethical because it’s a fake sport. It’s unethical in that their “wrestlers” are not employees. They’re contractors so the company doesn’t have to pay Social Security, Medicare, unemployment insurance, or provide insurance. After one wrestler with a history of multiple concussions murdered his wife and child before committing suicide, a government survey found that 40% of “wrestlers” were found to be drug users, mostly steroids. WWE has fought states from regulating it as a sport and it has a long legacy of ignoring concussions, like the kind that makes a guy go batshit crazy and murder his wife and child before committing suicide. Donald Trump recently said head injuries to military members weren’t a concern. The mortality rate for wrestlers is 6.4 times higher than it is for men in the general population and higher than other “sports.” The number of wrestlers to die before the age of 65 is insane. Men should not be dying from heart attacks in their 30s. Seriously, Google this shit.

So, when Attorney General William Barr publicly scolds Donald Trump for tweeting on cases before DOJ and making his job “impossible,” don’t believe it. He coordinated his criticism with the White House before he delivered it. Barr has done nothing except use the Justice Department to defense Donald Trump, protect his corrupt friends, and go after his political enemies. After calling back U.S. Attorney’s sentence recommendation for Roger Stone, then saying he wants to review the entire case, over 1,100 former Justice Department employees have called on Barr to resign.

Barr should resign though it wouldn’t do any good. Trump would just replace him with another phony. At some point, maybe they will start wearing masks like those little Mexican wrestlers.

There is no Santa Claus, no Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny isn’t real, wrestling is staged, and Donald Trump is a fake president. It’s time you grew up and realized that.

Creative notes: I worked on this one in my head for two days. Even at a party last night, I kept going back to the text and restructuring it in my head. When I finally drew it, I didn’t use anything I had planned out (except for the stuff in the blog). The blog took a lot of research.

When I bounced this off my two proofreaders, I asked if they were familiar with the “smell what’s cookin'” line. Laura said she didn’t and had to look it up which probably replaced some less important knowledge in her brain, like algebra. She was also unfamiliar with a “purple nurple” which I hope is not an actual wrestling maneuver.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Is There A Corrupt Plan B?


CNN02162020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

After all that, sending Rudy to Ukraine to create conspiracy theories, to accuse the Bidens of corruption, to break the law by asking a foreign nation to help you politically, to withhold taxpayer military funding from an ally at war with an enemy, to lie, obstruct Congress, to go through all that corruption, and ultimately impeachment…and the guy you did it to beat probably won’t be the nominee.

Good job, dumbass.

Support the cartoonist.

 

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Roughing It, Volume 32


I’m posting this on a train. Whee, trains!

I drew this batch of roughs the week before last, which feels like a year ago. Time in politics and news has a different measurement than reality.

CNNrough573

This is the rough for the cartoon I eventually drew for CNN. It turned into…

CNN02092020

…this. I like drawing Romney.

CNNrough572

This was before I drew the many heads on a pike cartoon which I think turned out better.

CNNrough571

This was the first rough I sketched out last week. I intended to do it for my clients but then I got bogged down in other stuff. I even forgot to draw the guy in the second panel as Bernie Sanders. So anyway, that round head thing in the second panel was supposed to be Bernie Sanders.

CNNrough577

I think this might be the plan.

CNNrough576

Pretty much. I was afraid this was too obvious.

CNNrough574

I like this format and I’ve only used it a couple times in my career. Funny thing, I never saw anyone else use it either until I used it once. Then it popped up here and there. Fuckers.

CNNrough578

This is the one that turned into a finished cartoon which I liked a lot. But first, I threw it at an editor. He said it was kinda dark. Because I like to screw with people, I touched it up.

CNNrough579

In my reply, I asked, “better?” He didn’t answer.

CNNrough575

I heard this from Trump supporters. What was hateful and divisive about Trump’s SOTU? This is why I feel it’s OK to make fun of Trump supporters. I totally meant to draw this cartoon but again, other shit kept getting in the way. Now its time has passed and I drew another cartoon on Rush Limbaugh a couple days ago.

Which rough or roughs do you think I should have finished and published?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Sneaking On Pete


cjones02232020

Donald Trump is going to cheat in the next election. How do we know this? First off, because he’s Donald Trump and he’s a Republican. Also, he cheated last time, he’s boasted he’s going to cheat this time, he’s already doing it, and the United States Senate has given him carte blanche in lawbreaking.

Bernie Sanders is the front runner in the Democratic primary at this moment. The entire Republican plan in case he’s the nominee is to go after him for being a socialist. They’ll ignore that most democratic nations are social democracies where people are happier and instead, will use Venezuela as a comparison to his policies. Of course, they’re still going to cheat no matter who the nominee is.

But, what if Pete Buttigieg is the nominee? While Bernie is the front runner, Mayor Pete actually leads in delegates by one. Rush Limbaugh thinks all you have to do is point out he’s gay, has a husband, and will kiss his husband on a debate stage. While most Republicans may react as though voting for Buttigieg will give them cooties, the majority of Americans may not give a shit that he’s gay. How much mileage will the Trump campaign get going after a gay husband while they have a former porn star in the White House?

But like Sanders, Buttigieg gives Trump problems in that he’s an all-around decent human being.

Yeah, you can squabble about policy differences, but Pete and Bernie are genuinely good people, especially in contrast to a vile, racist, lying, stupid sack of crap like Donald Trump. Bernie has the same political stance today that he had in the 1960s. He’s a man who’s fought for civil rights and was arrested doing so. Mayor Pete is a veteran and Donald Trump is a draft dodger. The other problem with Pete for Trump is that he’s a moderate, like most Americans. The most liberal thing about Pete is that he’s in a gay marriage, and that’s not even that liberal anymore…unless you’re Rush Limbaugh. But then again, women voting is liberal to Rush Limbaugh.

Another problem for Trump is that Bernie and Pete are likable. Donald Trump is really only likable to people who think it’s OK to march with a tiki torch while chanting “Jews will not replace us.” People can relate to Bernie and Pete as people while Trump is more of a collection of vile personality traits than he is an actual person.

The Trump campaign is really going to have to make some shit up to run against Pete Buttigieg. But, fortunately for them, that’s really all they do. Maybe they can take all that crapola they gathered on Joe Biden and just insert Pete’s name. Does he have a son named Hunter? Even if they can’t find corruption on an opponent, Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani strongly believe that if you scream about corruption, it deflects from their own.

I doubt Pete has any business dealings in Ukraine so don’t be surprised if Rudy breaks into his house. If Pete is the nominee, it’ll be interesting to see how low the Republicans will go. I have faith in them.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.