Roughs, Volume 72


Hi. Wanna see some roughs? Ok then!

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I might come back to Festivus.

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I really liked this one and I drew it up, published, and sent to clients yesterday. The physics of this doesn’t make sense, but it’s a cartoon.

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This one led up to the two tiny desk cartoons I drew (one for CNN).

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This turned into the cartoon for CNN.

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I got this idea while watching CNN Friday morning.

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This is from reporters asking if Trump will concede or at very least, leave the law says he’s supposed to because he lost the election.

What are your faves?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Tiny Desk For Diaper Don


cjones11302020

Yesterday, Donald Trump finally took a few questions from reporters and said that he’d leave the White House if the electoral college goes for Joe Biden. He said, “Certainly I will. And you know that.”

Then he said, “If they do, they’ve made a mistake.”

Later in the day, he moved the goal post, again, and tweeted, “Biden can only enter the White House as President if he can prove that his ridiculous ‘80,000,000 votes’ were not fraudulently or illegally obtained. When you see what happened in Detroit, Atlanta, Philadelphia & Milwaukee, massive voter fraud, he’s got a big unsolvable problem!”

A few takeaways here:

First, what “big unsolvable problem?” The only one with a “big unsolvable problem” is Trump and that’s trying to prove his lie that he won the election.

It’s not up to Donald Trump to decide who won the election. He can not refuse to leave because he’s unsatisfied with “proof”

It’s not up to Joe Biden to prove a negative.

If there was so much voter fraud, then why didn’t Donald Trump’s shitty ridiculous lawyers use that evidence in any one of their 31 cases that were thrown out of court for lack of evidence?

There will be proof as each state certifies and the electoral college goes for Joe Biden. After that, I’m sure Donald Trump will be sitting behind his teeny tiny desk with his arms folded screaming they “made a mistake.” Of course, that teeny tiny desk will probably be at Mar-a-Lago.

Screaming is what Diaper Don does. While sitting behind his teeny tiny desk next to an undecorated Christmas tree that Melania probably said, “Fuck Christmas decorations to,” Donald Trump screamed at a reporter for asking a logical question.

The reporter, Jeff Mason of Reuters, asked if Donald Trump would concede if the electoral college votes for Biden. OK, in any other administration, it wouldn’t be a logical question.

Trump lashed out, which made sitting at the tiny desk look even more ridiculous, and said, “Don’t talk to me that way. You’re just a lightweight. Don’t talk to me that way. I’m the president of the United States. Don’t ever talk to the president that way.”

I’m sure nobody is going to talk to President Joe Biden that way. But what is it with Donald Trump having to insult people?

He screams he’s the president, which I’m sure he’ll continue to do AFTER January 20 and Biden is in the White House, while insulting people like a child.

He also tweeted, “Twitter is sending out totally false ‘Trends’ that have absolutely nothing to do with what is really trending in the world. They make it up, and only negative ‘stuff.” Don’t ask me why “trend” was capitalized.

He then tweeted, “For purposes of National Security, Section 230 must be immediately terminated!!!”

What is he talking about? He’s talking about a law that protects websites from lawsuits over content posted by users. Like if you own Twitter, and someone created a post accusing someone else of rape or of being a Nazi, then you couldn’t be sued for owning the platform the post was created on…just the person who created the post can be sued.

Or in this case, you can’t be sued because someone created the hashtag #DiaperDon. Seriously. According to reports, after his tiny desk press conference, the Diaper Don hashtag really pissed him off.

He got so upset, he filled his diaper.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

There is no video for this cartoon or the last one because I need to add the software to this new computer…and Corel is a real asshole about sending me the download keys for shit I already paid for. Fuck you, Corel.

Grim SCOTUS


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The biggest takeaway from the Supreme Court’s ruling that churches in New York can remain open, because placing restrictions on them is infringing upon their Constitutionally-protected religious freedom, is where the court will be years from now.

The court ruled on similar cases just a few months ago, and ruled 5-4, with Chief Justice John Roberts joining the liberals, that the government can place restrictions on churches. On Wednesday night, it was another 5-4 ruling, this time in favor of the churches and again, with Roberts joining the liberals.

The big takeaway here is that Amy Coney Barrett was the vote putting it over the top. The last time the court voted on this, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was on the court and actually understood the case.

The argument here is that New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, was being harder on churches than places like retail businesses. But the thing is, it’s not the same.

You don’t go to a grocery store to spend two hours parking your ass in one spot. You do that in church. It’s not comparable. The churches are complaining that Cuomo is singling them out for their religion.

Nobody cares about your religion other than to protect it. I don’t care if you go to mass for seven hours every night, dance in circles with snakes while speaking in tongues. You do you. But, I do care if you go to church and bring back your virus to the grocery store. Do you understand how that works? No?

Neither do five members of the Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Sin Like Flynn


cjones11282020

Since I’m social distancing and hanging by myself today, why not draw a cartoon? Who am I kidding? I was going to draw one anyway. Hell, last Thanksgiving, I was in Washington, D.C. with my then-girlfriend. We had Chinese food in China Town and saw the Capitals play (they won. I bought a cap)…and the next morning while she was having breakfast alone, I was drawing a cartoon before we drove to Colonial Beach to have dinner with her family. It was nice. There was fried oysters.

Is it any wonder I’m single?

A few things about this pardon of Michael Flynn:

By accepting it, Flynn, who had admitted guilt twice before retracting, is admitting guilt.

Donald Trump tried to issue this pardon in a news hole. Whenever a politician wants to do something with little coverage, they do it in the afternoon and it’s best on a Friday. Here, Donald Trump issued a pardon to one of his goons on Thanksgiving eve. If this was last year, he would have done it while I was stomping around China Town. A lot of the press were winding down and preparing for family and turkey yesterday afternoon. By the time Monday gets here, nobody’s going to remember this and there will be some new outrage to be outraged about.

Donald Trump keeps screaming he won the election, “by a lot,” yet he pardoned a goon which is his acceptance he’s going out the door. He’s leaving.

I drew about Trump pardons yesterday, but how many more pardons am I going to draw? Will he pardon George Papadopoulos, despite not knowing him and claiming he was “just a coffee boy?” Some are saying he might pardon Rick Gates, but he cooperated with Robert Mueller’s investigation. I totally expect a pardon of Paul Manafort, who is in prison and refused to cooperate with Mueller. Trump will reward him. Roger Stone, who had his prison sentence commuted, is publicly asking for more. He wants a pardon. Of course, Roger Stone is a low life and has no reservations about appearing guilty. I expect Stone to get his pardon. He’s disgusting which plays into Trump’s wheelhouse.

According to reports, there is a team in the White House studying who to pardon and that team is being led by none other than Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. Who better to lead a team studying the pardon of Trump goons than a Trump goon? The Biden Justice Department should add the businesses of Jared to their investigations. Perhaps Jared will receive a pardon. His wife, Ivanka, is being investigated. Maybe daddy will pardon her.

Perhaps Donald Trump will pardon Steve Bannon and others involved with the build-the-wall scam. He issued a pardon for conservative conspiracy theorist columnist Dinesh D’Souza, who pled guilty to making illegal campaign donations. He also pardoned a friend of Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, Wall Street Executive Michael Milken who pled guilty to securities and tax violations, got 98 racketeering charges dismissed, and is still worth over $3 billion.

Alan Dershowitz is representing a couple of lesser-known goons and he’s angling to have them pardoned. He praised Trump’s pardon of Flynn. He’s either rubbing Trump for a few pardons or he’s actually a huge fan of Donald Trump issuing pardons as reward to his associates.

In case you’re a Republican, let me lay it out for you: Anyone pardoning their associates is engaging in corruption. It’s a reward for their silence. Do you see Michael Cohen receiving a pardon?

The only people Donald Trump has pardoned has been goons and corrupt racist mother fuckers like Sheriff Joe Arpaio, celebrity causes, billionaire Wall Street grifters, and his friends. You don’t really see poor people…or non-whites…with unfair prison sentences receiving pardons…unless a Kardashian lobbied for them. Most of the people he pardons are guilty rich assholes…just like him.

I really hope Donald Trump does pardon himself so we can finally have the question answered. Can a president pardon himself? I say no because you can’t be your own judge. But then again, there are three Trump justices on the Supreme Court which is corrupt in itself.

Of course, Donald Trump is corrupt so I expect him to pardon himself.

Donald Trump is the most corrupt president in our nation’s history. He’s stopped working as president since he lost the election. He’s only left the White House to golf. He won’t answer questions from the press. And the only thing he’s done is bitch and pardon his goons. He’s going to be corrupt all the way to January 20.

What I really hope for is that Donald Trump eventually lands in prison. And when that happens, I hope the irony of his pardons comes to him.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Goodbye, Turkeys


cjones11272020

I’m breaking a couple of my rules with this cartoon. One is, I’ve drawn enough turkeys this year. The other is drawing a cartoon with a holiday theme that’s dated after the holiday. This is dated for Friday, which as you probably know, is AFTER Thanksgiving. But, I don’t make my clients embargo my cartoons by the dates, which means they can run them as soon as they get them.

But, I like drawing turkeys…and I like drawing Trump goons. And in my defense, how many more opportunities do I have to draw these people? Have you seen the type of people Joe Biden’s putting in his administration? Adults! How am I supposed to work with that?

In the Biden administration, I don’t see any inept son-in-laws wanting to create a back channel with Russia while taking loans from Arab kingdoms. I don’t see a daughter and her husband receiving security clearances when they don’t qualify. I don’t see a veep lavishing worship on the boss every minute while attracting flies. I don’t see an Attorney General turning the Justice Department into an agency that acts as the president’s personal attorney…which they did in going to court to block a civil suit against Trump by one of his sexual accusers. I don’t see a baby Goebbels in this administration writing policies that’ll kill immigrant children. I don’t see a goon going to prison whose sentence the president will commute. Say what you want about Hunter, but I don’t see a son in this administration as stupid as Donald Trump Jr. I don’t see a personal attorney spreading conspiracy theories outside a dildo store while his hair is leaking transmission fluid. I don’t see the president encouraging right-wing terrorists to shoot and murder protesters or telling them to “stand by.” I don’t see Nazis and Klansmen holding parades for this incoming president. I don’t even see hamburgers.

So, how much fun do I have left? It’s not like next Thanksgiving, when President Joe Biden is pardoning a turkey, I can compare it to him pardoning his goons, children, or even himself. Sheesh! What sort of presidency is this going to be for cartoonists? We have been spoiled by Donald Trump. With Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I’m going to have to go back to writing my own material. Dammit all.

Sure. Joe Biden has gaffes but they’re not going to make up for a president (sic) who tries to redirect a hurricane with a Sharpie, or asks about nuking that hurricane, or advises people to rake forests, or talks about windmill cancer. Joe Biden has never gone to a debate and talked about the size of his penis. Seriously, people…you left me nothing to work with here.

Maybe our new Secretary of State will scream at a reporter and challenge her to find Ukraine on a map. No? He’s not an asshole? Aw, man!

Maybe Ashley Biden will sit in for the president at international summits, or get a bunch of Chinese patents, or be investigated for tax fraud. No? She’s not corrupt? Maybe Jill Biden will say “fuck Christmas.” I know. Not very likely when you replace a porn model with a teacher who has a doctorate.

Thanks a lot, America. Sure. You saved the nation from a stupid narcissistic racist reality TV show host and his grifting, and now we’ll stop putting babies in jail and ripping families apart. We’ll save the climate, perhaps stop palling around with dictatorships, and start using complete sentences again…but at what cost? Did you think about the cartoonists and comedians? Did you not think about the satire? No, you didn’t. I hope you’re proud of yourself, America.

It’s not fair. Even the democratic goons Biden could have hired, Donald Trump took. I don’t even have a Blagojevich with this administration. Shit.

So because of all that, you get another turkey cartoon. You can’t blame me. All I have left is an administration full of adults to try to make something out of with my cartoons.

And the fact Donald Trump and his goons will never go away or stop tweeting. Never ever ever. I guess there’s that.

Update: I went back and added Michael Flynn after he was pardoned today.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Turkey Coup Fail


cjones11262020

Donald Trump’s coup has failed.

Yesterday, the head of the General Services Administration, a low-profile agency that directs resources for stuff like government real estate and oh yeah…transition funds from one presidential administration to the next, announced it was approving the transition to the Biden administration.

After a presidential election when a new leader is elected, the GSA routinely releases funding to the new administration so there will be a smooth transition between the election and when the new president takes the oath of office in January. Although the head of the agency is appointed by the outgoing president, there’s usually no drama over this person doing their job. That was not the case this time.

Emily Murphy is the head of the General Services Administration. Emily Murphy has been described as a by-the-books administrator. Emily Murphy is a coward.

Joe Biden won the election 16 days ago. And even though Donald Trump was having a public hissy fit, hiding in his bunker except to play golf, refusing to answer reporters’ questions, throwing out conspiracy theories, issuing over 300 lying tweets since the election, losing over 30 legal challenges, inviting state Republican legislators to the White House to coerce them to reject their citizens votes, and having Rudy Giuliani hold press conferences outside dildo stores and icking all over the place, Emily Murphy could have approved the transition process to begin.

Even if by some bizarro-world situation where Trump flipped states and would remain president for the next four years (Brrr! I just got a chill), nothing would have been lost by preparing for a Biden presidency. No harm would have been done. If Joe Biden was receiving the same daily intelligence briefings as Donald Trump, it wouldn’t have been a risk to this nation.

When it comes to the security briefings, Joe Biden has been in positions previously where he received them. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would qualify for a security clearance without being president. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would actually read the briefing material. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not tweet or share classified information with Vladimir Putin. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not overrule the FBI and give security clearances to his daughter and son-in-law (who was trying to create a back channel with Russia and is in debt to Middle Eastern kingdoms).

Emily Murphy could have said, “I know Trump is going to be a big baby about this but I’m moving the process forward. It’s the right thing to do.” She could have done the right thing…but she didn’t. That will be her legacy. Imagine how she would have been remembered if she had done the right thing. You can only imagine it because Emily Murphy is a coward.

Emily Murphy released a statement saying, “I was never directly or indirectly pressured by any Executive Branch official — including those who work at the White House or GSA — with regard to the substance or timing of my decision.” Bullshit.

Emily Murphy is a coward and just like every Republican in Washington, she was afraid of angering Trump and his MAGAts. She claims she received death threats. I doubt Democrats were issuing those threats. She claimed even her pets received death threats. How do you claim you didn’t feel any pressure when people are threatening your dog?

Emily Murphy is a coward and she should have done her job in the first place. She shouldn’t have waited 16 days. She is just another Trump goon who put the cult before duty. Even though she was hired by Trump, she works for the citizens of the United States of America, not Donald Trump. She is paid by us, not Donald Trump. She should have done her job.

What Donald Trump did was put himself before the nation. He undermined our democracy. He told his supporters our election failed. He told his supporters they can’t trust democracy. He told our allies the president (sic) of the United States didn’t believe in democracy. He told our enemies the president (sic) of the United states didn’t believe in democracy. Donald Trump tried to remain president after losing an election. Donald Trump attempted a coup. Emily Murphy, like so many Republicans, enabled him.

Emily Murphy, you are not a hero. You are not brave. You are a failure and a sycophant of the cult. You’re no better than Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller, or Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin. And just like all the MAGAts Trump brought with him, I look forward to your dismissal after January 20.

Donald Trump is boasting he has delivered a vaccine to the coronavirus. He really didn’t have anything to do with that but still, his stonewalling the Biden transition endangers the distribution of the vaccine after he’s gone.

Donald Trump hasn’t just be trying to discredit the Biden administration. His actions were an attempt to make it fail. And if that means more Americans died, for Donald Trump, so be it. It’s not like he cared about Americans dying from the virus before the election. If more Americans die after Trump leaves office, even if it’s his fault, he can blame Biden and tweet about it.

Now, he’s going to pin a medal on himself for approving the transition. Donald Trump tweeted he told Murphy to release the transition funds while Murphy is saying she made the decision on her own. These people need to coordinate their bullshit.

Even If Murphy never did release the funds before January 20, it wouldn’t have stopped Joe Biden from becoming president. While Trump goons say the media doesn’t decide who wins elections, neither does the GSA or the president (sic). Joe Biden will be president on January 20 and there’s nothing Donald Trump or Emily Murphy can do about that. But, they’re still going to give the impression Donald Trump allowed it.

Prediction: Donald Trump will be praised by the Trump media and MAGAts for being a big boy and getting out of the way for Joe Biden. You’ll see. Geraldo Rivera wants to name the vaccine to the virus that Donald Trump allowed to kill over 250,000…after Donald Trump to “honor” him. That’s how these people are. We should NOT name any vaccine after Donald Trump. We have named the virus after him. He is the virus, not the cure.

If anyone’s the cure, it’s Joe Biden.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Crazy Uncle Time


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I drew this cartoon before Sidney Powell was fired as Trump’s lawyer…from which they claim she was never his lawyer…or the campaign’s lawyer. Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t retreaded the coffee fetcher line yet. Yet.

There’s a LOT of speculation which crazy shit she said that got her ditched by the crazy folks. This is like the team of Misfit Toys…if the Misfit Toys were stupid and racist. I mean, dear God, Rudy is still a part of the team. This guy sweats oil during press conferences…and conducts them next to dildo shops. So, what did poor crazy lunatic Sidney say that got her shitcanned? Good question and let’s explore.

Rudy has pushed debunked conspiracy theory after debunked conspiracy theory yet, he remains on the team that now says Sidney Powell was never a part of it or ever a legal representative for Donald Trump. You know the team that Donald Trump said included Sidney Powell. The team that Rudy said he was leading with Sidney Powell. The team that held a press conference last week that gave Sidney Powell speaking time at the podium with Rudy standing and sweating black goop behind her. So what’d Sidney say that got her ditched?

Was it her claim that Donald Trump won the election in a “landslide?” As preposterous and ludicrous as that claim is, no. That didn’t get her fired. Donald Trump liked that claim.

Was it her claim that George Soros was a part of the group stealing the election? Nah. Donald Trump has claimed George Soros was funding immigrant caravans even as he said he didn’t have any proof. He wouldn’t care about Sidney blaming Soros. Also, Soros is Jewish. Unless they’re Jared or Israel, Trump doesn’t like Jews.

Was it her claim the election was being stolen by globalists? Of course not. Donald Trump is anti-Semitic. See paragraph above. He retweets Nazis and once tweeted an image of bags of cash and a bunch of Stars of David.

Was it the crazy shit that the Clinton Foundation was stealing the election from Trump? No. Donald Trump has spouted his own lies about the Clintons and their foundation…while he was stealing from his foundation.

Was it the claim the deceased Hugo Chavez designed the voting systems and it’s all a communist plot from nations like Venezuela, Cuba, and China (but not communist North Korea)? No. It’s just another crazy conspiracy theory. Rudy has those. Trump began his political career with dumber ones.

Was it her claim that voting machines changed votes from Trump into votes for Biden? Nope. Rudy has made that same claim…and so has Trump.

Was it her claim that Brian Kemp, the governor of Georgia and a long-time Trump supporter helped steal the election for Joe Biden? Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

The thing is, Kemp is a Trump supporter. A very loyal Trump supporter. If anything, he’s worked diligently to disenfranchise black voters in Georgia to help Republicans. He’s on Trump’s side. And, there are two Senate runoffs in January in Georgia. A lot of Republicans are already pissed at the GOP establishment because the Georgia secretary of state, a Republican, did his job and counted more votes for Joe Biden than for Trump. Some Republicans are actually threatening to boycott the election after Georgia went blue for Biden. I just like typing that. Georgia went blue for Biden. I’m done.

The other thing is, Sidney was being criticized by Republicans. Chris Christie and Iowa Senator Joni Ernst went after her. Republicans aren’t going after Rudy which you think they would.

Finally, Tucker Carlson went after her…and she went after him. Tucker is another MAGAt. She said Tucker was rude. She might as well had left a bag of burning turds on Sean Hannity’s doorstep…which is probably a common thing, so she’d have to write her name on the bag.

She wasn’t ditched for being ridiculous. This president (sic) hires ridiculous people to be his spokesgoons (Spicer, Huckasans, McEnany). Rudy is ridiculous except Rudy has been a Trump friend for decades and has pissed away his legacy and reputation for Trump. Also, Rudy’s not a woman. He has a penis. If you don’t believe me, ask his cousinwife.

Goodbye, Sidney. Thank you for lasting long enough for me to get a couple cartoons out of you. Let me know if you’ll be back. I have a lot of ink for crazy nut cases like you, you fun lunatic.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

MyTerrorist


cjones11252020

Remember when that underage terrorist twerp Kyle Rittenhouse went across state lines to shoot at people protesting for racial justice in Kenosha, Wisconsin and ended up killing two of them? He just made bail. You may be asking yourself, “How did an unemployed 16-year-old right-wing militia wannabe terrorist come up with $2 million for bail?”. You can thank the MyPillow guy and actor Ricky Schroder.

Rittenhouse’s lawyer tweeted, “KYLE RITTENHOUSE IS OUT OF JAIL! God bless ALL who donated to help #FightBack raise required $2M cash bail. Special thanks to Actor Ricky Schroder @rickyshroder1 & Mike Lindell @realMikeLindell for putting us over the top. Kyle is SAFE. Thanks to ALL who helped this boy.”

I know all this time you’ve been as concerned as I have about the safety of Kyle Motherfucking Rittenhouse. Oh, I hope jail treated him nicely. I hope the food wasn’t too horrible. I’m sure the pillow wasn’t as comfy as an $80 MyPillow…or from what I’ve gathered from online reviews…maybe it was.

Anyway, this underage terrorist who somehow illegally gained access to an assault rifle and killed people is out on bail and the child actor to thank, or blame, isn’t Chachi. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’at? Scott Baio’s stupid racist ass didn’t do it? Of course not. Chachi doesn’t have money. Have you seen him in anything lately? Fact: Scott Baio has had three sitcoms and I never watched one episode. I did watch Happy Days but that wasn’t HIS sitcom. And I know what you’re thinking. Scott Baio has had THREE sitcoms? I mean, he’s had as many TV shows as Matt LeBlanc who as far as I can tell, is NOT a Nazi.

In case you’re concerned that Ricky Schroder has gone over to the dark side…he only confirmed the information on…wait for it…Parler, the brand new online social media destination for racists and Qanon fucknuts claiming they’re leaving Facebook and Twitter because their conspiracy theories are being censored. Perhaps acting on Silver Spoons as a child left a permanent soft spot in Ricky for billionaire assholes. So what’s the MyPillow guy’s excuse? He’s a racist billionaire asshole. That’s not fair. Maybe he’s just a millionaire.

Mike Lindell overcame a crack problem and found Jesus. He also found Trump. What is it with born-again Christians being so supportive of anti-Jesus principles? Why are Christians so horny for racist policies that put brown babies in jail? Why are they so hot for policies that drug test welfare recipients, so if daddy did weed, his baby can’t eat? If you figure that one out, let me know.

I’m very supportive of Mike Lindell’s recovery from crack, but I think he’s still an addict. He’s addicted to orange Kool-Aid and like Chachi and Silver Spoons bastard who was in The Champ with MAGAt Jon Voight (I spent some time on Wikipedia this morning), he’s a cultist. And when Mike Lindell’s not pushing pillows full of bullshit, he’s pushing bullshit cures for the coronavirus. Lindell pushes treatment for Covid-19 that’s so stupid, only Ben Carson tries it.

People who go out and point guns at protesters are championed by Trump and his MAGAts. Case in point: Those scummy lawyers in St. Louis who were so threatened by Black Lives Matter protesters walking down their street, that that they interrupted margarita time to point guns at them…were championed at the Republican National Convention.

Make no mistake about it. Trump and MAGAts aren’t celebrating rich-asshole lawyers for wearing shirts with mustard stains. It’s the pointing guns at black people they like. Trump and Republicans encourage white domestic terrorism. Kyle Rittenhouse gained an automatic weapon illegally and crossed state lines to kill two people…and you haven’t heard one word from the president (sic) of the United States disavowing that. Donald Trump has actually argued that Rittenhouse was practicing self defense when he crossed state lines to kill people. I’m sure Ben Carson bought that bullshit.

Republicans argue that people should take up automatic weapons and defend their homes from black people walking in front of it, but Rittenhouse wasn’t even in his own state, less enough his “home.”

Kyle Rittenhouse, who was too young to possess an automatic weapon, took an automatic weapon across state lines, joined militia goobers in parading around Kenosha pretending to defend businesses, where not one person stopped to say, “Hey…is that kid old enough to be stomping around here with an automatic weapon?”. Instead, cops gave him bottles of water. Instead, after shooting people and walking toward police cars with his hands up, the cops drove past him. No worried that kid with a smoking automatic weapon…he’s white.

In contrast, cops shot Jacob Blake in the back four times (they shot seven times but missed with three of them), paralyzing him…after tasing him…twice. Oh yeah. Jacob Blake is black.

The shooting of Jacob Blake is what the protests were over in Kenosha. Estimates put the property damage at around…wait for it…$2 million. MyPillow and Silver Spoons could have helped the community out more by donating to rebuild it instead of giving that money to a domestic Trumper terrorist. But no. They would rather make a martyr out of a killer.

I think giving money to a terrorist fuck like Kyle Rittenhouse, who’s probably going to be found guilty of murder by a jury, is almost as much of a waste as spending $80 on a shitty pillow.

Either way, it’ll probably be hard to sleep at nights.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Roughs, Volume 71


Hey, kids. I didn’t give you any roughs last week because there weren’t very many and I hadn’t made up my mind yet which ones to use. So, I’ve included that batch with this week’s. We have a few.

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This is the only idea I drew out last week that I didn’t use…and I still like it.

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I used this one yesterday. I love drawing a brain in a jar…especially if it’s being held up by someone without a brain. Also, Mi lección de español está dando sus frutos.

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This was my first shot at it.

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I was reaching really hard when I drew this one up.

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I used this one for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Honestly, I used the same idea in 2015 or 2016 in a cartoon searching for a moderator for the GOP debates. I go back every now and then and update something. I’ve seen other cartoonists do it too. Don’t believe? Google any cartoonist’s name and “Titanic.” One cartoonist copies and pastes his last drawings, especially caricatures.

I don’t go back and use an old idea very often but I did it twice this week and the first time, someone accused me of stealing it and not from myself. See? I try to write really weird ideas, and then someone uses my weird idea and later when I update it, accuses me of stealing it from him. Sheesh! Did you know John Fogerty was once sued for plagiarizing a song…from himself?

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On Friday while still recovering from the coronavirus, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to draw that many roughs before my editor picked one. Nope. I spent all day at the drawing table.

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This one sucked so much, I didn’t bother putting anything on the TV.

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This was a stretch too. I used Alice in Wonderland for a cartoon a few months ago (I drew the Cheshire Cat) and I’m not ready to use it again…even with the rabbit hole.

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Hee Hee.

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This one sucked so much, I didn’t bother drawing the supporter players’ faces.

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This was just the concept without much effort being put into the headlines. I didn’t really have the energy to go to town with crazy headlines. I’ll probably use the concept in the future.

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This was OK.

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I didn’t stick the landing in this one.

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I may return to this one unless someone beats me to it, which is very possible.

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This was for CNN last week and I really like it. I was very happy with it except…I left out Stephen Miller. How could I leave out creepy Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller? I can’t sleep at nights.

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I really liked this one too because everyone loves a good bucket joke. I just like saying “bucket.”

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So this is the one I did at the start of the week which is a concept I used in 2017. It sounds like I do this a lot but I really don’t. And, it’s the one that brought the accusation of plagiarism. The person who made the accusation apologized publicly and privately the next day and I’m letting it go…but I’m not forgetting.

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I liked the witch doctor more than I liked the idea. I’m going to have to bring him back at some point.

So, which of these roughs did you like the best?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Trump’s Legal Brains


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If you want an idea of how nutzoid Trump election-stealing lawyer Sidney Powell is, take this in: Tucker Carlson can’t support her arguments…and Tucker has had shows about UFOs.

Tucker Carlson wants to believe in Sidney Powell. He said that he’s “always respected her work” and he’s holding out hope that she’ll provide evidence that thousands of votes were moved from Trump to Biden, which didn’t happen. Tucker is still stupid enough to hold out hope that election fraud occurred.

Do you understand that? Trump supporters are HOPING that our election was rigged and democracy failed. Do you know why? Because it’ll justify their stealing of an election. But right now, they don’t have any evidence or anything that supports their argument that Donald Trump won the election. Do you know why? Because Donald Trump did NOT win the election. Donald Trump lost and Joe Biden will be sworn in as president on January 20, 2021.

Sidney Powell is a Qanon-supporting nut. She has retweeted their theories on multiple occasions. She’s been a guest on Qanon’s YouTube show. Yes, they have a YouTube show. She’s Michael Flynn’s lawyer and now she’s arguing Donald Trump’s case that he won the election despite the fact he didn’t.

Sidney, along with Rudy Giuliani, suck. If they’re your legal team, you’re in trouble. I mean, you might as well invite Republican state legislatures to the White House and beg them to defy their constituents, break the law, invalidate votes, and just give you their state’s electors. Actually, Donald Trump did that yesterday.

Meanwhile, Powell and Giuliani are running around saying the election was stolen, Trump “won in a landslide,” And that it was manipulated by George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, and the deceased Hugo Chavez. At least Sidney’s hair dye isn’t running down her face.

Sidney Powell says she didn’t provide evidence to Tucker because he was rude. How about to the rest of us, Sidney? Their defenders are saying Trump’s legal team is holding their evidence for court…but they’re not using it in court. In fact, they keep having their cases thrown out of courts.

And while Trump’s legal team is arguing at press conferences outside dildo stores that massive voter fraud stole the election, when they’re in court, they’re saying there wasn’t any voter fraud.

So, if you don’t believe me that there was not any massive voter fraud, then take it from Trump’s stupid legal team. They’re telling you one thing and they’re telling judges something else. The judges aren’t buying it, but if you’re a Trump supporter, it’s a good thing for Trump that you’re stupid enough to buy it.

Trump’s legal team’s argument is even losing Fox News, who desperately wants to believe them. I guess this means during the Joe Biden era, Sidney Powell won’t have her own show on Fox. There’s always that Qanon YouTube channel…or Trump TV.

It’s hard for Donald Trump to hire capable lawyers because good lawyers don’t want to argue conspiracy theories in court. Crazy lawyers will though. And Donald Trump has cornered the market on crazy and hiring lunatics…even if the lunatics at Fox are losing hope.

Wanna know what’s even crazier than Sidney Powell saying Trump won in a landslide and blaming Hugo Chavez? 70% of Republicans believe her.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.