People Who Should Stay Home


cjones04092020

We went over some of this last week, but let’s hit a few points again.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis refused to issue a stay-at-home order. Hell, he even refused to shut down the state’s beaches. Now, there are reports of over spring breakers with covid-19 who spread out across the nation to inflict it upon others. Good job, Governor Dumbass.

Just one state up, Georgia’s idiot Governor, Brian Kemp, who claimed he just found out asymptomatic people could share the coronavirus, issued a stay-at-home order but has kept that state’s beaches open. Governor Kemp, you need EVERYONE to stay home. Pretend everyone’s black and it’s election day.

After finally issuing a stay-at-home order, Florida’s stupid governor declared that churches are “essential” businesses. Hey, if they’re businesses does that mean we can tax them now? Several other states are also allowing people to attend church services. So, just to be safe, until this pandemic is over I suggest that if you have to hang out with other people, make sure they’re atheists. For that matter, atheists without suntans.

Churchgoers, stay home. Beachgoers, stay home. Jared Kushner, stay the fuck at home.

Seriously, the guy who married Donald Trump’s daughter should have received a stay-at-home order back in January 2017. For that matter, Ivanka should have received one too. But as soon as Donald Trump stole the election, Ivanka and that twerpy little guy she’s breeding with declared they wanted to go to Washington and play government too. They never fail to miss an international trip so they can hobnob with foreign diplomats and make them go, “what the fuck?”.

Can you name one thing either of them has accomplished since coming to Washington three years ago? I’ll simplify it. Can you state one intelligent thing either of them has said?

Jared has been put in charge of peace in the Middle East. Guess how that’s going. He’s been put in charge of illegal brown people. For all we know, he’s also in charge of taping Trump’s hair to his head. But one thing is for sure, he’s involved with the coronavirus response. Why?

It’s been said that Jared has only been successful at three things in life: Being born rich, marrying rich, and convincing his stupid father-in-law to do stupid shit.

Here’s the thing, kids: What qualifications does Jared have in regards to anything to do with anything? His biggest qualification for working on Middle East peace is that he’s Jewish. In fact, Donald Trump cited that. What’s his qualification with immigration? Did he go slumming one night and visit a Taco Bell? Finally, what’s his qualification for handling the coronavirus or even responding to it? He’s not a doctor.

While speaking to the press about the pandemic, Jared complained that governors were asking for more than they needed and said, “The notion of the federal stockpile (of ventilators) is it’s supposed to be our stockpile, it’s not supposed to be states’ stockpile that they then use.”

Except, the federal stockpile IS supposed to be used for the states. The website for the Department of Health and Human Services said that…until the Trump administration changed it to reflect the shit that came out of Jared’s mouth.

But, Jared…who is “our?” Your wife’s father and oggler wins the presidency and that makes the property of the government your property? Who the fuck are you other than the guy boinking the prez’s daughter (assuming you’re that guy) to tell us what is and isn’t in Washington? Here’s a charming little factoid for you, Jared. The United States is comprised of…wait for it..FUCKING STATES!

Jared probably wasn’t even qualified to get into Harvard as his criminal-father made a $2.5 million donation before he was accepted. Jared bought a newspaper and now it doesn’t print on paper anymore. I wouldn’t take his advice on journalism. Jared inherited his family’s real estate empire and has run it into the ground, so don’t take any real estate advice from him.

And when it comes to a pandemic, don’t listen to Jared. It’s ridiculous Donald Trump throws him out there and expects people to accept it. Donald Trump doesn’t understand that having the name “Trump” doesn’t make you qualified for anything except maybe grifting. Neither does marrying a Trump.

Jared sought a back channel with Russia after Trump won the election? Why? He had to lie on his security clearance application MULITPLE times until Donald Trump just had to give up and give him a security clearance. He did successfully figure out how to download and use WhatsApp so he can talk to murderous Saudi dictators in secret.

There are way too many people in jobs in the Trump administration who aren’t qualified for their jobs, starting with Donald Trump. Did he think there was an idiot shortage in the White House so he had to bring in Ivanka and Mr. Ivanka?

Jared isn’t qualified to wear big-boy pants, less enough have anything to do with anything in the White House. At least Ivanka only plays government and doesn’t actually do anything.

It only takes one international crisis to prove Donald Trump never belonged in the White House. Even people who aren’t Trumps appear to get dumber after being associated with him. While all the Trumps are idiots, Jared actually chose to become one of them.

Jared is attempting to swim in the deep end without floaties on his arms. He’s out of his depth and needs to go back to the kiddie pool. The most ridiculous thing is how obnoxious Jared has to be to talk to the press as if he actually has any qualifications other than who he’s married to. Does he really believe journalists leave the room thinking, “We gotta believe what Jared said because he’s Jared”?

This pandemic is serious and we need serious people. Jared, you’re not qualified and you’re endangering lives. Go home. Stay home and take the blonde bimbo with you. While you’re at it, take Ivanka too.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Roughing It, Volume 39


Last week, I only drew nine roughs and only two of those grew up to be real boys, er, cartoons.

CNNrough669

I had been meaning to do something on New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.

CNN03292020

This is what I gave CNN. I wanted to add “Fat Tuesday” and directly underneath it, “Fat Chicks,” but I thought that might get me in too much trouble.

CNNrough665

I really liked this one.

cjones03302020

It got a lot of comments. On YouTube, I explained that I gave the poodle Rand Paul’s hair. Only difference is, the poodle doesn’t choose to look like that.

CNNrough672

This was OK and Larry David probably did it better. Funny thing, the only place where I ever saw people (other than on TV) wearing MAGA hats or shirts was at a MAGA rally.

CNNrough671

I started to draw this but they took it out of the stimulus. A rare unusual move by Republicans (forced by Democrats) because it was wise.

CNNrough670

I got this idea around the time Trump was talking about opening the country back up at Easter.

CNNrough668

The Donald Trump team was suing to remove ads that quoted Donald Trump.

CNNrough667

Ya’ know, I still haven’t received one of those. Does the Trump administration want me to die?

CNNrough666

I didn’t know if people would get this. You know, ‘Grandma got run over by a reindeer.” Proofreader Laura said they would but it didn’t matter because I liked the Grandma going for a ride idea better anyway.

CNNrough673

I really liked this but too many cartoonists had drawn Trump in a bunny suit already. But, I did get to put Trump in a bunny suit in the Trump video, which you should have seen by now unless your only explanation is that you suck. Even for the rough I had to make the suit pink because it had to be pink.

Do you have a favorite? If so, comment here or tweet or Facebook it to me.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

MAGA Masks


cjones04082020

The Trump administration is now encouraging everyone to wear face masks. They don’t protect you as much as they protect other people, but it’s another step in getting rid of this virus so we can return to our normal lives.

Even though the scientists and doctors in his administration endorse masks, Donald Trump says he will not wear one. He said, “I don’t know, somehow sitting in the Oval Office behind that beautiful Resolute Desk, the great Resolute Desk, I think that wearing a face mask as I greet presidents, prime ministers, dictators, kings, queens — I don’t know, somehow I don’t see it for myself.”

First off, dictators? In the Oval Office? Behind the “beautiful” Resolute Desk? Donald Trump intends to host dictators in the Oval Office and his concern is that a mask would be inappropriate? Also, who’s coming over for a visit during this pandemic? I don’t see that happening.

Second, the slouching guy who doesn’t know how to wear a suit, or a tie, with 20 pounds of orange goop on his face, and with a bleached combover of a hair transplant so bad, it’s held together like his tie, with scotch tape, is afraid of how a face mask will affect his appearance.

And this is why it’s OK to make fun of Trump supporters. Yes, I’m often told we should respect their viewpoints and try to understand their anger and resentment. I understand their anger. They’re racists. While Hillary Clinton caught a lot of shit for disparaging them as “deplorables,” she was right. They’re racist. They’re stupid. They base their opinions on bullshit conspiracy theories. And, they support a lying conman reality TV host like Donald Trump who tapes his hair to his head. Pardon me, but I’m going to make fun of these people.

And while we’re told we should start wearing masks, we need to understand they don’t replace social distancing. We still need to keep that in effect…especially if you’re an old lady wearing a face mask walking up on me at the bank asking me to hand you something you could have picked up yourself. Sorry. I’m still really annoyed by that happening last week. She probably watches Fox News, but at least she’s aware of the pandemic.

While taking a walk a couple nights ago late at night, when I thought I wouldn’t run into anyone, I ran into someone. I kept six feet away, but he came to a corner just as I did. He said that he noticed I was doing the “social distance thing,” but I didn’t have to worry because he didn’t care. I don’t understand that. I asked, from at least six feet away, “What don’t you care about?” He said, “I’m not worried about no virus so you’re good with me.”

From his logic, since he believes it’s a hoax, I don’t have to keep six feet from him. I can tell he watches a lot of Fox News. So if he doesn’t care or believe in the pandemic, then I can’t catch covid-19 from him? That must be the same Donald Trump rule where if you’re in a photo with someone who tests positive for covid-19, then you can’t catch it if you don’t see the photo.

This guy was a Trump supporter. I didn’t ask and he didn’t say, but yeah. He had it written all over him. Am I stereotyping? Yes, but he was a Trump supporter. He was an older guy walking to a convenience store on a beer run with a grey ponytail that went to the back of his knees. He was a Trump supporter. Plus, as he left he said, “Watch out for N-words.” And, he didn’t say “N-words.”

So, yeah. I can make fun of Trump supporters. I’m very comfortable lumping them all in together. If you’re a Trump supporter and you want me to stop throwing you in with racists and morons, then you gotta stop supporting a racist moron. You gotta stop supporting Donald Trump.

It’s OK to make fun of all Trump supporters, especially if they’re going to get us all killed. When this pandemic is over, I encourage you to continue your social distancing from Trump supporters.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Corona Christ


cjones04072020

Even in states that are not giving stay-at-home orders, people are being encouraged to only venture out for essential services. Essential services usually include groceries, banks, healthcare, senior care and in Florida, gun stores. What?

But also, in a lot of our states, churches are defined as “essential.” In 11 of the most at-risk states of the coronavirus, church gatherings have not been banned.

So, why is gathering in a church not as dangerous as sitting in a restaurant? Is it because God will protect you in a church but not Applebees? Or is it that praying is worth the risk? Or (I think I got it now), Republican governors are afraid of pissing off their evangelical base, of which they are members too?

It’s no more important for you to go to a store and buy a gun than it is for me to go to the mall and buy a new iPhone. Likewise, it’s not important for you to go to church or any religious gathering. The point here is, DON’T GATHER!!!

There’s only one way for us to defeat the coronavirus and that is for us to stop giving it to each other. And trust me, you can catch it in church.

If we can hold classes on Skype and Zoom, then we can praise Jesus with a webcam. God gave you WiFi. Use it.

The states with exemptions for zealots are Florida, Louisiana, Tennessee, West Virginia, New Hampshire, Delaware, Michigan, and Mississippi. Oklahoma and Arkansas don’t have any bans on any gatherings. Missouri and Alabama just closed shops but I don’t know about church exemptions.

Experts say if the public totally cooperates, it can save up to 2 million lives in this country. But if the Jesus freaks get their way, we’re all going to see Jesus a lot sooner than we want to.

A pastor was arrested in Florida after he held church services despite a ban on gatherings in his county. Later, the county added churches as “essential” services. In Sacramento, California, 70 members of one church are infected with the coronavirus. Religious conservatives are always defensive about appearing uneducated and anti-science, but it’s their fault when they do shit like this.

Some pastors argue the stay-at-home orders violate their freedom of religion. No, it doesn’t. When it picks and chooses which religions have to stay home and which can hold gatherings, then you can say it’s violating your religion. Right now, my freedom to sit at Starbucks is being violated. If I can deal without a mocha frap, you can go a little while without going to church. I might love mocha fraps as much as you love Jesus.

I am not a religious person. That doesn’t mean I want to suppress your religion or convert you to my position. I don’t care what or whom you worship. But, I do care if you use your religion to infringe upon other people’s rights…or in this case, their lives. I don’t want this month of self-isolation inside a studio apartment to be for naught because some fundamentalist whackjob will breathe covid-19 on me in May.

This isn’t Hobby Lobby refusing insurance that pays for birth control. This is killing people. The same god you believe will protect you in church is the same god that brought the coronavirus (I know. You’d rather blame the Chinese).

Zealots, stay home. Skype God and order delivery from Chick-fil-A (though, if you really want a religious experience from a chicken sandwich, order Popeyes). And the best part is you can praise Jesus in your sweatpants.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Peachy Information


cjones04062020

If there’s one thing the Republican Party has taught us during this pandemic is that they suck handling a crisis.

To be honest, they suck generally. They give huge tax breaks to the rich claiming it’ll trickle down, which we’ve known was total bullshit since the Gordon Gekko era. They go after poor kid’s school lunches while building tanks in Ohio that’ll never leave a California warehouse. They scream about family values while looking for glory holes in airports. They work tirelessly to restrict abortion while watching children starve and go homeless. They demand poor people pee in cups before they can get welfare while they throw subsidies to Wall Street. They restrict voting for African Americans so they can steal elections. They redistrict to further disenfranchise minority voters. They scream about patriotism while ignoring Russia attacking our elections. They steal Supreme Court seats. On top of all that, they abandon every principle they ever had to support a grifting con artist in the White House and change their party into a massive cult that defends Nazis. Yeah, Republicans suck on a normal day. But now these racist bastards are proving they can’t manage, prepare, educate themselves, or take anything seriously until their own asses are on the line.

Senator Richard Burr told the public not to worry about an incoming pandemic, but was privately telling friends to panic and was selling all his assets in the stock market. That’s how a Republican prepares for a pandemic. Stock up on medical masks and ventilators? Later, but first, dump all your stocks. To be fair though, some Republicans didn’t dump all their stocks. Some invested in medical masks and ventilators.

Donald Trump called it a Democratic hoax and that he had the virus under control. When this nation had 15 deaths, he said the number would start going down. The virus would “disappear” like a “miracle.” He said, “Anyone who needs a test, gets a test.” He said people with the virus should go to work. He blamed Obama for a system that was outdated and for supplies not being restocked, despite the horrible fact Trump has been president for the past three years. If you take over a position and there aren’t any paper clips in your office, you’ll probably order some more paper clips instead of bitching three years later that your predecessor didn’t leave you any paper clips.

Now, Donald Trump says he always knew it was a pandemic. And Sean Hannity claims he never called it a hoax after he called it a hoax. It’s like someone who has his own TV show doesn’t realize it’s being recorded.

Mitch McConnell is blaming the White House’s failure at this on Democrats for impeaching Trump and distracting everyone. Mitch doesn’t realize this is admitting their response is a failure and that they’re incapable of multitasking. Maybe if Donald Trump wasn’t such a shitty human being trying to steal an election, we would have had a president who didn’t need to be impeached.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis refused to close beaches or issue a stay-at-home order based on Donald Trump’s behavior. You have to be an idiot not to realize Donald Trump is an idiot. Don’t base anything you do on Donald Trump unless you’re going for the opposite. For example: When Donald Trump said there wasn’t going to be a recession, that was time to prepare for a recession. Florida has been in the top five among states with coronavirus cases. Yet, DeSantis has been content to sit back scratching his ass while people were cramming the state’s beaches and churches.

Now, we have Brian Kemp, governor of Georgia. Guess what. Being a Republican, he sucks at being governor.

Brian Kemp was the secretary of state for Georgia which meant he regulated his own election to the governorship. He refused to recuse himself and instead, recused thousands of black Georgians off the voter rolls. Surprise! He won the election. And as governor, he followed Donald Trump’s lead at being unprepared and willing to let the people he swore to protect die.

Yesterday, Brian Kemp announced he was finally issuing an order for Georgians to stay at home. What took him so long? He just now found out the coronavirus can be spread by asymptomatic people. In case you’re a Republican, “asymptomatic” means a person with the virus who doesn’t display or feel any symptoms. Kemp said he just found out within the past 24 hours and that the information was a “game-changer.”

Here’s the thing about this: We’ve known, at least officially, that the coronavirus could be spread by people without any symptoms since the middle of February. In all honesty, we knew this since at least January.

Republicans have compared this to the flu, so let’s use that as an example. How many times in your life have you worried about someone giving you the flu before they felt or showed any symptoms? Say you go out with your friend Bucky. Two days later, Bucky is sick. Despite Bucky not displaying any symptoms, you’re worried he gave it to you, especially if you Republican guys were hanging out in airport bathrooms.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN said Brian Kemp not knowing this until a day ago is “inexcusable.” He said, “My kids who go to school in Georgia knew that a month ago.” Of course, they did and not just because their father is Sanjay Gupta. We all knew that. Right?

I knew this and I’m a cartoonist who’s a college dropout. Is it too much to ask that the governor of the great state of Georgia be a little more informed on a pandemic killing people in his state than a college dropout cartoonist?

What’s really bad about this is the CDC (Center for Disease Control) talked about this on a call on February 4th. The CDC is located in…wait for it…GEORGIA!!! It’s in Atlanta (In case you’re a Republican, Atlanta is in Georgia). Where’s the state capital? Also in Atlanta. To be exact (because I look shit up, yo), Georgia’s governor’s mansion is 6.4 miles from the CDC.

It’s not just inexcusable for a governor of a state not to brief or educate himself on this virus, it’s malpractice. There are only two explanations for Brian Kemp’s proclamation of ignorance: He’s lying or he’s really that fucking stupid. He is a Republican so both explanations are possible.

I think for the governor’s safety, we should alert him to more facts. Facts like, don’t stick a fork into an electrical socket. Look both ways before crossing the street. Don’t fill up on salad at a buffet. Don’t pet sharks. Never eat the yellow snow. Don’t lick stripper poles. When picking up some strange, always check the neck. Don’t spit in the wind, don’t tug on Superman’s cape, and don’t mess around with Jim.

And for your safety, don’t vote for Republicans.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Stay


cjones04052020

The problem with electing a Trump cultist as your governor is that you’re stuck with a Trump cultist as your governor.

When Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was in Congress, he introduced legislation that required the Justice Department to report to Congress whenever any federal agency failed to enforce a law. This was in 2014 and a swipe at the Obama administration. It failed and he didn’t bother to reintroduce it during the Trump administration. I wonder why.

After Trump was in office and inflicting his corruption and con job on America, DeSantis voted in favor of a bill to strip all funding from the Mueller investigation. DeSantis adopted the Devin Nunes platform of protecting Donald Trump at all costs, no matter what he was accused of or how much evidence was apparent. For DeSantis, it’s Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. He was also a member of the Fucknut Caucus, but they prefer to call it the “Freedom” Caucus.

When DeSantis ran for governor, he was endorsed by Trump and based his campaign on being the most fucknutty of all the fucknut Republicans in the primary. He ran commercials where he was teaching his children to say, “Make America great again” and building a racist wall out of lego blocks. He dressed his infant in a MAGA jumper in these commercials (which, I am assuming, was soon full of shit). He read “Art of the Deal” to his kids to prevent them from becoming intelligent adults. When asked, he couldn’t find one issue where he disagreed with Donald Trump.

Donald Trump had become a kingmaker in conservative politics, changing the Republican Party into the Donald Trump cult, and DeSantis became further proof of that after he won the primary. His credentials didn’t matter on statewide topics. All that mattered was that he burrowed deep up Donald Trump’s ass. In fact, he’s burrowed so deep up that ass, he allowed Floridians to die.

Governor (sic) Ron DeSantis refused to issue a stay-at-home order as other governors in the nation have done. Florida isn’t like Nebraska, where there are only five cases of coronavirus (detected so far). Florida isn’t even in the middle of states with verified cases. DeSantis is governor of the state with the fifth most cases. There are nearly 8,000 cases at this time and 100 deaths. Florida is the third-most populous state in the nation and it’s a contender to lead in coronavirus deaths.

Despite the rise of cases in Florida and the rest of the nation, DeSantis refused to declare a state of emergency. While all the other states with high cases of the coronavirus were implementing lockdowns, Florida went to the beach. Literally.

He refused to shut down the state as spring breakers stormed the beaches. He refused to shut down the beaches. He refused to issue a stay-at-home order, like New York and my state of Virginia have done. Here in Virginia, we have around 1,500 cases (and 34 deaths) yet our governor has taken it more seriously than Florida. Maybe that’s one reason we have fewer cases.

Why didn’t Ron DeSantis act sooner? Because he’s a Trump cultist.

It’s bad enough regular morons live and breathe everything Donald Trump says and then end up dying because they ingested fish tank cleaner after Dear Leader said something about chloride beating the virus. But a governor shouldn’t put his entire state at risk because of the stupid shit that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth.

Ron DeSantis should be serving the people of Florida, not just the Trump cult less enough, one person. Of course, that one person is Donald Trump.

DeSantis finally issued a stay-at-home order. What took him so long? Donald Trump didn’t take the virus seriously so the governor of Florida didn’t take it seriously. This is not my viewpoint. DeSantis said so. He explained his order by saying, “”When you see the President up there and his demeanor the last couple of days, that’s not necessarily how he always is.” Usually, he’s just racist and stupid. Before the order, he said he was following the White House on how he should proceed with the state.

Donald Trump spent a month denying and downplaying the virus. Governors like DeSantis, like their Dear Leader, put their citizens’ lives in danger.

Donald Trump boasted about banning travel from Europe…well most of Europe. He ignored the fact that people in the U.S. can cross state lines. So while one state has a lockdown, their neighbor may not. This doesn’t stop a virus. DeSantis has been unable to see that counties also have borders that people are free to cross.

The urban areas of Florida, where people tend to be more educated and less fucknutty, issued stay-at-home orders. But because their governor is in servitude to a fucking moron, he allowed the rest of the counties to carry on as if it was business as usual, thus infecting the entire state.

Florida isn’t the only state where the governor is willing to let his citizens die because of the way Donald Trump has behaved. Alabama, Texas, and Mississippi are still running wild. The governor of Mississippi’s biggest act to fight the virus is to pray for God to give Donald Trump intelligence. The governor of Mississippi does not have any intelligence.

Like Donald Trump isn’t qualified to handle a pandemic, neither is Ron DeSantis. The Florida Governor wants to be like Donald Trump. Congratulations, Ron. You suck just as much as Donald Trump. DeSantis, like Trump, was slow to react to the virus. He would rather serve the cult than serve his citizens. He would rather you die than upset Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has proven he shouldn’t be president and Ron DeSantis has proven he shouldn’t be Florida’s governor.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

MyPillow Facetime


cjones04042020

There’s been a lot of debates over whether the networks should broadcast Donald Trump’s daily press conferences on the coronavirus. While there is pertinent information provided with these conferences, the majority of the time, they’re just replacements for Donald Trump’s hate rallies where he and everyone else speaking praises Donald Trump. But one aspect there should not be any debate over is that these things don’t have to be infomercials for companies whose executives are Donald Trump campaign supporters.

Seriously, I don’t need to see a free commercial for MyPillow in the middle of the day on CNN, who thankfully cut away during his segment at the daily hate rally. Mike Lindell, the CEO of the pillow company, gets enough advertising on Laura Ingraham’s show (where he increased his advertising after other companies dropped out after she attacked school-shooting survivor David Hogg.

Lindell was at Trump’s Monday press conference because he says he’s donating 75% of his company to producing face masks and will soon be kicking out 50,000 a day. I’m not sure what he’s not being paid for this but I’m sure he’s not doing it for free. Lindell’s appearance with other executives was to bolster Trump’s argument that he doesn’t need the Defense Production Act to have companies help fight the coronavirus. But if the kind of people helping out is people like Mike Lindell, I’m not going to be enthusiastic.

Mike Lindell says he’s going to make 50,000 face masks a day. It’s not that I think Lindell is lying, but it’s not like I believe him either. Why wouldn’t I believe a fine, upstanding Christian who throws his Christianity in everyone’s face at every opportunity (Seriously. He did it at the press conference too). The reason I don’t believe Mr. Lindell is because he’s a Trump supporter.

First off, he praised Donald Trump’s response to the pandemic. That right there tells me you’re he’s full of shit. Lindell has said Trump is the “the most amazing president this country has ever seen in history,” which he said before Trump was president. He’s a conman who settled a lawsuit with several California counties over false advertising that his hate pillow cures things it doesn’t cure. The Better Business Bureau gives his company an F rating for a scam it ran about where you buy one pillow and get another for free…which was actually just the regular price. It was basically: Pay the regular price twice and we’ll throw in another pillow. Old conservatives who watch commercials at 2:00 AM on Fox are real suckers for that kind of shit.

Lindell wrote an Op-Ed for the Duluth News-Tribune in 2018 stating, “After more than 500 days with Donald Trump as our president — with record-low unemployment and a booming economy — it’s clear, Minnesota, that we can rest easy.” Then, he laid off 150 people. Hey, MyPillow guy…how many people did you lay off during the Obama presidency?

Praising and supporting Donald Trump tells me you don’t care about honesty or that someone’s a pathological liar and a conman. When you do that it tells me you’re probably one yourself and nobody should ever purchase your products or go into business with you, especially the United States government at the behest of taxpayers. Mike Lindell is going to produce 50,000 face masks a day? I’ll believe it when it actually happens and it’s verified by a third party. On top of that, I want to see the contract. What are we, the taxpayers, paying for the MyPillow face masks? Hey, Mike. How about when you make 50,000, you give us 25,000 for free?

On another note, MyPillows has horrible ratings at Amazon. It’s a crap pillow that someone filled with chunks of foam that reviewers say makes a big crunching sound when you lay your head on it. Our medical professionals would probably be better off wearing Dr. Birx’s scarves than Mike Lindell’s face masks.

Mike Francesca, a New York sports disc jockey and a Donald Trump supporter, went after Trump for having Lindell at his press conference. He said, “Hospitals don’t have the supplies they need. So don’t give me the MyPillow guy doing a song and dance up here on a Monday afternoon when people are dying in Queens! Get the stuff made! Get the stuff where it needs to go and get the boots on the ground. Treat this like the crisis it is.”

The song and dance is exactly why Lindell was there. These daily briefings are more about praising Trump for doing a horrible job than they are about providing a nation in crisis with valuable information. And Lindell did exactly what Donald Trump wanted him to do, which was to go balls-deep with the sycophancy.

Lindell preached, “God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on,” talking about the day Donald Trump was mistakenly elected. He continued, “God had been taken out of schools and lives. A nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word, read our Bibles and spend time with our families. With our great president, vice president and this administration and all the great people in this country praying daily, we will get through this and get back to a place that’s stronger and safer than ever.” That’s some serious cult worship. Keep in mind, this guy smoked a lot of crack cocaine back in the day.

Many in the press mocked him, like MSNBC’s Ali Velshi who tweeted, “Trump just called the “My Pillow” guy up to the podium in the Rose Garden. You cannot make this stuff up.” Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld (who’s their idea of a funny guy) tweeted a reply, “When you start producing 50 thousand masks a day you can go up to the podium too In the meantime sit on your fence and keep your thumb up your ass.” See? Fox News funny. And again, don’t believe he’s going to produce 50,000 face masks a day just because they say he is. We’ve had three years of this. When will you start learning from experience?

Conservative radio host Larry O’Connor got upset and tweeted that the critics are “ungrateful jerks” and need to “STFU” about him. I really hope he sees this cartoon.

Logan Hall of the right-wing propaganda hate site wrote, “The MyPillow guy has done more to combat the spread of coronavirus than 99% of the blue checks whining about him.” Again, how do you know he’s done more and…what’s a blue check? Can I get one?

Lindell himself got upset over the criticism. Like Trump, he doesn’t believe he receives enough appreciation. He went on Fox News where Lou Dobbs played him a tape of MSNBC’s Chris Hayes saying, “Seems crazy that everyone’s still taking these briefings seriously when you have the MyPillow guy getting up there talking about reading the Bible.” Lindell replied, “I heard Jim Acosta attack me too, and he was 10 feet from me, in the Rose Garden. This is just evil, Lou. This is evil.” How far should one be from you before attacking so it’s not evil? But hey, 10 feet is better than 6 so you’re good.

He continued whining and supporting his cult with, “This president has been the best man in charge for such a time as this; it’s just those newscasters, those journalists, we know who they are… CNN, what they did to me, I’m sorry, I put on a message of hope to the country that God had given us grace in November of 2016, a nation that turned its back on God, and right now we’re part of this big revival.” Feel free to pause if you need to vomit. And again, praising Trump, grace from God, crack cocaine.

The MyPillow guy summed up with, “I am appalled by the journalists that I see there. I used to think that, they are not that evil, yes, they are.”

Wow. Maybe Mr. MyPillow guy will think I’m evil too after seeing this cartoon. Am I evil? Well if standing up for my nation against the attacks of Donald Trump and all those who are in his cult like the MyPillow guy, then as Diamond Head sang, “Yes, I am.”

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