The House That Love Built…Or Not.


cjones07302016

During Michelle Obama’s incredible speech at the Democratic National Convention she mentioned that she lives in a house that slaves built. Immediately there was a conservative backlash. Seriously, what kind of butt-faced ogre troglodyte defends slavery?

Bill O’Reilly, that’s who.

Bill O’Reilly is a very intelligent man. He says so himself. But he’s also a butt head and he has a penchant for distorting information, or what we commonly refer to in the media as “lying.” Billy was upset over Michelle stating that slaves built the White House. Hardly anyone is arguing that it’s a fact. They just hate that it’s brought up, or in this case, criticized. How dare someone criticize slavery!

Funny thing. These mooks complain about Black Lives Matter and state that African Americans should get the chip off their shoulder and get over slavery. Yet you have jerkoids on the number one cable news show defending slavery. O’Reilly states how well the White House slaves were fed and taken care of. Screw that free will as long as I get a sandwich and a comforter.

It’s funny and quite bizarre that the people who state racism isn’t that big of a deal anymore, or that it doesn’t even exist, are the very same people who are waving Confederate flags and defending slavery.

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A Sell Out Of Many Colors


cjones07292016

I ran into a former coworker and fellow newspaper guy a couple days ago and he brought up how mean people are during this political season. I told him how a person who normally likes my work, and is a Bernie Sanders supporter, called me an imbecile a couple days ago (she’s accused me before of having her in mind when I wrote something, but I never have until today). My friend mentioned how he got called all sorts of vile and vulgar names for liking something…and he’s a movie reviewer (people don’t like chicks in Ghostbusters, ya’ll).

Usually it’s Republicans who are trying to compete with each other on who can be the most vulgar and hateful. Earlier today a conservative troll I know posted a joke about Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne, because conservatives think that’s timely and funny (1976 called. They want their vulgarity back). Same goon was upset Ivanka Trump didn’t clap aggressively enough every time Hillary Clinton was insulted at the RNC. Man, Republicans can be such hateful and intolerant creatures.

And so can progressives. We like to believe we’re above Republicans. We have empathy, care about the environment, the good in government, science, and we recycle. But lately they’re letting their freak out a bit too much…and not in the good way one would normally let a freak get out.

They’re freaking out over Bernie Sanders not winning the nomination. Yeah, the system wasn’t in his favor, but the guy didn’t actually stand a chance of getting the nomination. They’re so angry they may not vote for Clinton and allow an ignorant buffoon like Trump to win the presidency.

Bernie’s campaign is over, but the campaign for the causes he pushed is not. Someone else will pick up that mantle and eventually all those crazy impossible things Bernie believed in are going to become reality. But that could all be lost if his supporters sit on their ass, stay home, vote Green, Libertarian, or even worse, Trump. And don’t say not voting for Hillary isn’t a vote for Trump. You’re supposed to be from the intelligent segment of society so stop saying B.S. that’s not true just to cover your rancor and bitterness. It’s time for you to grow up.

Sarah Silverman told the Bernie supporters on Monday night they’re being ridiculous. She’s right. If you can allow Trump to become president then you weren’t serious about any of the issues Bernie campaigned on. You’re a faker. You may not like Hillary and believe she’s a part of the Wall Street machine, but what do you think Trump is a part of? Which one can you live with better? How about the candidate who believes in climate change, science, civil rights, equal rights, health care, black lives, child care, women rights, minimum wage increase, equal pay, and can tell you the three branches of government?

You don’t always get every little thing you want, especially the first time you’re eligible to vote. I was in my forties before I voted for a candidate I actually believed in, and even that wasn’t “everything” I wanted. Hell, I waited over forty years for the New Orleans Saints to win a Super Bowl. I’m still waiting on the Cubs to win the World Series or even go. Be patient and stop acting like spoiled insects.

Another horrible person I know posted how Bernie supporters should join the Trump Train. If you are a Bernie supporter and you’re even considering voting for Trump, you were never honest about you stood for and you don’t really believe in anything.

How many ways do you want to be like a Republican? You’re already insulting people who disagree with you and soon you’re not going to have any friends left on Facebook. Now you’re willing to sell out your principles and send your country down the river.

You’re being ridiculous.

Creative Notes: I’m using my regular laptop to post this cartoon. I don’t have internet access for a few days and I’ve been sponging at places that offer free wifi. Tonight I took my Surface Pro and laptop to Sheetz, where the coffee and deli is awesome. The service is very friendly. The place is clean. Their internet is extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemly slow when uploading a file.

I drew on the Surface Pro, and posted the cartoon with my laptop, as using a keyboard is easier than tapping out each letter individually with a pen. My keyboard cover for the Surface Pro arrives tomorrow. Now I just need the internet people to put me back on the grid.

I hope you enjoyed me getting back to a longer blog….especially your Berners.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Serving Russians


cjones07282016

I’m kinda afraid this idea is obvious and some else will draw it. I gambled.

See! Not everyone who supports Trump is a racist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, troglodyte, dumbass. Some people who want Trump to win are actually aware it’ll destroy the United States, and that’s their objective.

Short blog again. Still doing this sans keyboard. It’s in the mail.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Timmy and Debbie


cjones07272016

I’m posting this with a Surface Pro I have not bought a keyboard for yet so if there are any typographical errors go suck a lemon.

Hillary Clinton made Virginia senator Tim Kaine, my senator, her veep pick.  It’s a good pick. If it doesn’t make Bernie supporters happy, they can suck a lemon too. Does she really have to bend over backwards to appease liberals so they won’t allow a Donald Trump presidency? Grow up.

Debbie Wassermann Schultz, chair of the Democratic party, was ousted after leaks showed, SURPRISE they did want Hillary to win.

I have a lot more to say but this no keyboard thing is hard.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Roger Ailes Sugar Butt


cjones07262016

Oh my stars! A tawdry political cartoon right before my Jesus-loving eyes! Here come the night sweats! Cover the children’s eyes or they’ll never be right again!  Cancel my subscription! Fire the scalawag who produced such a horrid abomination! 

Feel free to cut and paste the above paragraph and send it to any of my clients who actually run this cartoon. It’ll save you some work. I wanted to use a different term that included the word “sugar,” but it will be hard enough for my editors to convince themselves to run this.

I took a little creative license with this as I doubt many people who frequent strip clubs would read a newspaper during their visit. I’m assuming. I wouldn’t know from experience. I’m a good boy. Every time I ever visited New Orleans I stood outside the clubs and prayed for all those inside.

So Roger Ailes it out at Fox News after 20 years of changing, innovating, and ruining cable news. It’s his fault we have all these news talk shows.

It is true that he changed the business that CNN started. His network also became the ratings leader after 9/11 and hasn’t dropped it since. He didn’t move cable news into a direction of improving coverage. CNN and NBC (shared with MSNBC) actually puts more focus into coverage. CNN has 33 international bureaus, NBC has 11, and Fox News…..four. They have less interest in gathering news than they have on spinning it.

Ailes started up Fox News for Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation with the slogan “Fair And Balanced.” That was their wink wink nudge nudge to “we’re going to say stuff conservatives want to hear.” From a political scorecard judged by PunditFact in 2014 of statements they chose to study (which means it’s not covering every little thing said on the networks), CNN is at 22% with statements that aren’t true. NBC/MSNBC is at 45%, which is “Wow! That’s a heavy dose of BS!”. Fox News, the “Fair And Balanced” network, comes in at 58%.

It’s also hard to say you’re “fair and balanced” with a straight face when your CEO, this being Roger Ailes, was a Republican strategist, who kept advising Republicans, and even had Fox News donate money to Republicans. When they were selling the Iraq War to Americans during the buildup, Roger Ailes was in the White House telling George W. Bush and Dick Cheney how they should spin it together. That’s not news. That’s activism.

Fox News released their pundit Gretchen Carlson who then sued Ailes for sexual harassment. Fox News said the accusations were lies, thus increasing their falsehoods from 58% to a healthy 98% (I made that number up). Then a bunch of other women (I’m assuming they’re women) made the same claim.

Then there are reports that Fox News biggest name also made a claim that Ailes had sexually harassed the star. Seriously, I just don’t buy that Bill O’Reilly is that attractive, but whatever turns Roger on….no wait. It was Fox News’ second biggest name, Chris Wallace. Again, I’m lying. It was Bret Baier. I’m blaming it on the clothes he chose to wore so it’s not Roger’s fault. I’ll stop. It was Megyn Kelly. Greta Van Susteren said “what’s sexual harassment?”.

Fox News was doing an internal probe (get your minds out of the gutter, you bunch of Beavises) but after Kelly’s confession that probably sealed Ailes’ fate. Megyn’s a star and one of the Fox News pundits/anchors who actually gets respect from the rest of the media. Plus, you’d rather have her around the office than Roger Ailes, especially on sleeveless-shirt Fridays at the NYC Fox News HQ.

I think Fox News could have prevented this entire thing if they had just put as much focus into Ailes as they did North Carolina bathrooms.

 

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Republican Boogas


cjones07252016

Damn I drew a lot of cartoons this week. I’m three days ahead of schedule with my syndication. Thank god this convention is over and after I draw cartoons on Hillary’s veep pick and Roger Ailes’ horniness, I can take a nap….oh wait. There’s another convention next week. Didn’t they used to take a month between these things?

The Republican convention started with hate, continued with hate, and ended with hate. Donald Trump started his speech by “humbly” accepting his party’s nomination. He gave the longest speech ever for a Republican nominee. He read it off a teleprompter. He read it very slowly. David Duke tweeted out how much he loved it.

High points for his speech includes he didn’t once refer to Hillary Clinton as “Crooked Hillary.” When he talked about banning immigrants, he didn’t mention them being Muslim immigrants. When he talked about the wall he left out the part about Mexico paying for it. When he got one protester during the speech, he didn’t veer off the script to tell the audience to beat her up.

The biggest plus for his speech is when he said we needed to protect LGBTQ from Muslim terrorists. He didn’t mention protecting them from his vice presidential pick, but it’s a start. The Republican audience actually cheered for this and he thanked them.

The rest of the speech was doom and gloom. Basically America is Gotham City run amock with criminals and gangsters and Donald Trump is the only billionaire caped crusader who can save us. We should have a Trump signal. It should look like the lips I give him in every cartoon. What do you think, yes? Though thinking about it, that image high above in the clouds above all of us could make the entire nation crap itself.

Two questions coming out of this convention: Will he get a bounce in the polls? You would think not since the entire thing was one big discombobulated dumpster fire full of hate, vinegar, and cat piss, but a lot of Americans may buy into the fear thing.

The other question is: Will Hillary try to kill his momentum Friday or Saturday by announcing her pick (Tim Kaine) as her veep? I’m not sure she should try to distract from his convention with it being the lukewarm Nazi rally that it was. Let it sink in for a day.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Trump-Cruz Photo Op


cjones07242016

Ted Cruz spoke at the GOP convention and was loudly booed by the Trump supporters. He refused to endorse Trump. When he spoke of people voting their conscience, many took it as him saying don’t vote for Trump. But these are Republicans. Earlier in the week they booed the rock band Third Eye Blind when the lead singer mentioned science. They booed science.

Many people believe Ted Cruz exhibited a conscience, morals, and ethics. He signed a pledge to support the eventual GOP candidate and today he refuses, reminding us that Trump insulted his wife and accused his father of having a hand in the assassination of JFK.

Ted Cruz doesn’t have morals, class, ethics or anything resembling a conscience. He’s opportunistic. Only the most hideously, vulgar type of people could ever support Ted Cruz for president, U.S. Senate, or even dog catcher. Seriously, would you want this guy around your dog? I didn’t think so.

Cruz broke a pledge. His excuse is that Donald Trump attacked his family. Donald Trump was a horrible leech on humanity before he insulted Cruz’s family and Cruz was just fine with that. He was sucking up to Trump before the insults to his family. He was fine with him insulting women, Mexicans, Muslims, Megyn Kelly, Hillary Clinton, Rosie O’Donnell, John McCain, and even Cruz’s eventual pick for his vice president (proving again that Cruz is a jackass), Carly Fiorina.

Yes, it was classless of Trump to enter the hall during Cruz’s speech. Trump has appeared every night as if we needed to be reminded what a narcissist he is. But that classless move was during another classless move.

Cruz’s wife, Heidi, had to be escorted out by security after the speech. Cruz supporters were upset over this, forgetting that Republicans have been amoral Rethuglicans over the past eight years…you know, ever since we made a black guy president.

Did Cruz build his profile for another presidential run in 2020? Maybe, but it’s also likely he committed political suicide in an attempt to destroy Trump along with himself.

If he really, really, really wanted to hurt Donald Trump, he would not only have endorsed him, but joined his ticket as the vice presidential nominee. That would sink faster than a bag of cats tied to a cinder block.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!