Roughing It, Volume 46


Here’s a batch of rough sketches from the week prior. Check ’em out.

CNNrough760

This cartoon was selected for the CNN Opinion newsletter.

CNN05172020

And it turned into this.

CNNrough756

This is the only other rough in this batch that turned into a full-grown cartoon.

cjones05202020

And it got a lot of play too. Most of my online clients published it. I liked this layout as I haven’t done anything like it in a while. Usually, I hate cartoons that leave lots of white space unless it’s used effectively. The one thing I’d change about this is the frame on the TVs. The way I did it here makes them look too much like pictures instead of TV screens.

CNNrough759

I kinda liked this one.

CNNrough758

I almost did something with this in regards to the Trump pandemic playbook that just suddenly appeared from…well, his ass.

CNNrough755

This is an example of a rough turning into a better idea. I went from this to the map cartoon.

cjones05242020

Of course, Trump helped turn the rough into this cartoon by tweeting lies and threats to Michigan.

CNNrough754

This idea was in my notepad (OK. Unsent email to myself) for a couple of weeks.

CNNrough753

This still may turn into something else. It’s in my head. I gotta do something with the Zoom thing.

CNNrough751

This one just sucks. I don’t even remember where I was going with it.

CNNrough757

I like this one. Maybe it’s the tortoise. He needs to be in a cartoon at some point. I mean, other than a Mitch McConnell cartoon.

CNNrough752

I didn’t like this one because of the clown analogy. Right after I roughed it, a reader wrote to me saying I should draw Trump as a clown. That killed it. During 2015 and 2016, every cartoonist in the nation drew clown cars for the Republican primary. That is…every cartoonist in the nation except for me. It was such a bad and obvious idea, that Chris Matthews used the metaphor on a daily basis.

Here’s a tip for aspiring cartoonists: If a reader thinks of an idea, it’s probably a bad idea. If an editor thinks of an idea, it’s guaranteed to be a bad idea. Here’s a tip for readers: Don’t send me your ideas. I got this.

So, which cartoons/roughs/ideas are your favorites?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Sunday Sycophants


cjones05262020

I’m not a religious person. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in religious freedom. Religious freedom means you’re free not to have any religion. Religious freedom means you’re free to be an atheist. Religious freedom is just as important to those without faith and religion as it is to those who worship a god. It also means you have the freedom to designate Donald Trump as your god.

If you actually buy into Donald Trump’s bullshit about opening churches, then Donald Trump is your god. It also means you’re stupid. If you’re ever walking along the street and run into someone playing the shell game (that’s where a guy has three shells, moves them around, and you guess which one has a pea in it), don’t play. You will suck at the shell game. For example: Donald Trump donates his salary while raking in emoluments and charging the government each time he visits one of his golf resorts. That is a shell game. You suck.

Donald Trump is a conman. He’s not even a good conman. Only stupid people fall for Donald Trump’s con. He runs multiple cons simultaneously (in case you’re a Republican, that means at the same time). But his most recent con is his demand for all the governors to allow churches to reopen. If they defy his order (in case you’re a Republican, that “defy” means they don’t do what he says), he claims he’ll override the governors and force them to open churches.

How exactly is Donald Trump going to override governors and force churches to reopen? By sending in the National Guard? Oops, no he won’t. He just called for their deployment to end one day before they’re eligible for benefits (in case you’re a Republican, “eligible” means having the right to get something). Anyway, I’d love to see the Army storming into churches and apprehending grandmas. That would make a great Madea movie. This is also another example that Donald Trump doesn’t really support the military.

Here’s the thing though: Donald Trump does NOT have the authority to force governors to reopen churches. But he won’t have to anyway. No governor is going to send state police into churches to arrest parishioners. There will be no posses sent out to wrangle choirs.

This is also another example of Donald Trump not caring about people. He doesn’t care if you go to church any more than he cares if you die from the coronavirus, or if you die from taking medication prescribed by a quack wearing a yellow ferret on his head. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to be in church on Sunday defying social distancing guidelines. No. He’s going to be in the White House on Sunday morning watching Fox News, tweeting stupid crap while eating Quarter Pounders with cheese.

This is kinda like Trump Wine. He says he doesn’t drink wine but can vouch his wine is the best wine. How would he know if it’s the best wine if he doesn’t drink wine? How would he know churches are essential when he’s never been to one? He claims he’s been to church but I don’t know if anything really sunk in when the only impression he got was from the “little crackers.”

A lot of people say Donald Trump is playing to his base because he’s down in the polls. He is playing to his base but not for their votes. He already has those. If you’re a white religious zealot, he didn’t win your vote yesterday. He had your vote when he called Mexicans “rapists and murderers.” What is Donald Trump doing? He’s being divisive. He’s making religion partisan, just like he did with science.

Do you know why Donald Trump keeps pimping Hydroxychloroquine? It’s not because he’s making money on it. It’s not because he’s saving face. It’s not because he actually believes in it. He’s advocating it because it defies science. He’s promoting it because he made it a wedge issue. He likes to divide and fight and his base is dumb enough to buy into it because they’re all horrible and vile people. Donald Trump says to take it so his supporters swear by it…even though most of them have never taken it or read a scientific paper on it. In fact, his own administration urges you NOT to take it while he’s saying “take it” and asking “what have you got to lose?”. You have everything to lose. And if you ignore social distancing guidelines and go to a crowded church, you have everything to lose.

Here’s another thing, kiddos: You and your religion are not being persecuted because you’re denied the right to infect other people. If one person with Covid-19 is in your church, with loud singing, loud chanting, loud hallelujahs, and everyone’s in close proximity, then your church is a cesspool. Multiple people have caught the coronavirus in church.

Nobody is telling you not to have faith. No governor has outlawed praying. If your religion requires you to pray with specific company and in a specific building, then you don’t have any faith at all. You physically being in a church isn’t essential at all. That doesn’t mean your faith isn’t essential, but you being there…nuh-uh.

What is religious persecution is denying a mosque the right to exist in a certain location which Donald Trump did to a mosque in New York City in 2010. Religious persecution is calling for surveillance on all mosques which Donald Trump did as a presidential candidate. Religious persecution is calling for a ban on all Muslims entering the nation which Donald Trump did as a presidential candidate. Religious persecution is enacting that ban which Donald Trump did as president (sic).

Also, Donald Trump is demanding all churches reopen while the coronavirus is still rampaging through the south and midwest. Donald Trump is encouraging you to put yourself, your family, and your neighbors in danger. Donald Trump does not care if you die.

If you really buy into the idea that Donald Trump, Mr. Two Corinthians…Mr. Porn-Star shagging really cares about your religion, then I have a piece of toast with Jesus’ image in it I’ll sell to you for a great price.

As I said, I’m not religious but growing up in Southern Baptist churches, in addition to a few Catholic churches, and even attending a private Baptist school for a year, I’m quite familiar with religions. And I know using religion as a political prop is sinful.

Another sin is worshipping a false deity. And Donald Trump is as false as it gets.

And in case you’re a Republican, see you in Hell.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Gravesite Hit Job


cjones05252020

Trump supporters always tell people like me that I don’t get it. They tell me I don’t understand how they could become so disenfranchised to vote for someone like Donald Trump. I do get it to a certain point. They’re a bunch of racists so upset that after electing the nation’s first black president, who was very successful for eight years, they had to go and elect a stupid, narcissistic reality TV show host.

Think about it. Remember that entire Tea Bagger, I mean, Tea Party thing that popped up after Obama was elected? The Tea Baggers, er…Partiers, came along between the election and Obama’s inauguration (in case you’re a Republican, that’s BEFORE Obama was president) to scream and hold rallies against Obama’s runaway spending. After eight years of George W. Bush running up this nation’s greatest debt by paying for two wars with tax cuts, they were suddenly concerned about a president’s spending. Hey, where are they now?

But, Trump’s supporters are right in that to a certain extent, I don’t get it. I mean, even if you’re a Swastika-flag waving racist who owns a lawn jockey, why would you want someone as stupid as Donald Trump to be your champion? I guess you gotta be stupid to be that racist…I mean, to fly that flag and to vote for Donald Trump. Here’s the thing, MAGAts: Donald Trump is nothing you say he is. He’s not a great businessman. He’s not smart. He’s not a great negotiator. And most of all, he didn’t create the great economy we had. He’s more a collection of bad personality traits than he is an actual human being.

But what I really don’t get is how anyone could consider voting for Donald Trump after losing nearly 100,000 lives and nearly 40 million jobs. You can argue those jobs will come back (years from now) but those lives are gone forever. I thought it was obvious back in 2016 that Donald Trump was a major-league racist dumbass who didn’t know anything about anything, but now, the results are here.

The presidency of Donald J. Trump kills people. It kills Americans. And what does Donald Trump have to say about this? Anyone who points it out is conducting a political hit job.

Donald Trump had a very slow response to the coronavirus pandemic. He said it was nothing, it was the flu, he could handle it, it was a low number of people, the numbers would go down, it was a Democratic hoax, people could go to work with it, it would disappear, anyone who wants a test can get a test, etc. He was unprepared despite having everything he needed left for him by the Obama administration. He was unprepared despite warnings from his own government about the virus.

Columbia University published a study that said acting earlier would have saved lives. The New York Times published findings from the study that said 36,000 fewer people in the U.S. would have died from COVID-19 if the country imposed restrictions just one week earlier. The study itself says by early May, about 54,000 fewer people would have died from the virus had stay-at-home policies been put in place on March 1.

Instead of focusing on all the lives lost, Donald Trump wailed. “I was so early. I was earlier than anybody thought. I put a ban on people coming in from China.” That’s his only achievement of sorts because he keeps bringing it up. But the truth is, he only initiated the ban after the major airlines enacted their own. And, he only banned incoming travelers who weren’t American citizens as if somehow, the virus was prejudiced. So, he didn’t really enact a total ban. Plus, he didn’t ban travel from Europe at that time. The cases that hit the east coast were from Europe. Donald Trump dismantled the back door to block the front door. He’s an idiot. Basically, his first act was to ban non-white travelers.

Trump also said, “Columbia is an institution that’s very liberal. I think it’s just a political hit job, you want to know the truth.” Facts have a liberal bias and Donald Trump never wants to know the truth. But how can anyone dispute that acting earlier would have saved lives? You would think Donald Trump could accept that truth instead of ignoring the thousands of lives lost and making it all about him.

What surprises me isn’t just that anyone could still support Trump, but that his approval is as high as 41%. An Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research shows that while 58% disapprove, his approval is at 41%. After his job performance handling the pandemic, his approval should be in the teens at best. Even 20% of Republicans say the federal response to the virus has been terrible, but those Republicans don’t think the President (sic) of the United States has anything to do with the federal government. How can anyone still want to vote for a guy who suggests we drink bleach?

Oh, I get it now. I see how Republicans can continue to support Donald Trump. They’re racist, horrible, vile, disgusting, stupid people. Real stupid.

But the virus doesn’t care about your politics. It’s not going to skip you because you “believe” wearing a mask is partisan. It doesn’t matter what you believe. Even if you support Donald Trump, you’re in danger from this virus just as much as the rest of us.

Donald Trump said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters. Looking at how the numbers from his base have not changed, he’s right. But, if you support Donald Trump, what happens if he shoots your grandma?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Blue State, Red State, Corrupt State


cjones05242020

A couple days ago, I wrote Donald Trump and his administration of goons aren’t even trying to hide his corruption anymore. In firing Inspectors General in the midst of investigations, they don’t even give good reasons. Donald Trump said he fired the guy investigating his Secretary of State Mike Pompeo because he lost the guy’s confidence. Pompeo only defended it by saying he should have been fired long ago and that he didn’t know he was under investigation. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. When it’s the fifth IG fired in five weeks, yeah.

That’s some morbidly obese bullshit.

Now, Donald Trump is threatening to stop all federal funding being sent to states that may not vote for him. That’s not exactly what he said but he’s doing a terrible job of hiding his corrupt intentions.

Michigan and Nevada are upping their plans for mail-in voting in order to decrease the risk of exposing their voters’ lives to the coronavirus. Well, Donald Trump doesn’t give a lick about anyone’s safety and like all Republicans, he realizes the more voters who participate in an election, the worst Republicans fare. The majority of people in this nation vote for Democrats. That’s a fact. Republicans don’t like that fact so they work to prevent people from voting except for the most racist and whitest of us.

Donald Trump tweeted his outrage at Michigan for mailing ballots to all their voters. Dumbass tweeted, “This was done illegally and without authorization by a rogue Secretary of State. I will ask to hold up funding to Michigan if they want to go down this Voter Fraud path!”

Except, that was some morbidly obese lying. Michigan’s Secretary of State mailed “applications” to voters, not ballots. Donald Trump claims what Michigan did is illegal. It’s not. So, two lies in one tweet. Good job, Donald. While explaining this to the press, he dropped another lie in that he was once Man of the Year in Michigan. He was never Man of the Year in Michigan. Maybe he’s confused because he resembles the Michelin Man.

What Donald Trump is doing is threatening to hold a state hostage by denying federal funding…during a pandemic. It’s kinda like holding Ukraine hostage by denying military aid during a war.

He went after Nevada in another tweet saying, “State of Nevada ‘thinks’ that they can send out illegal vote by mail ballots, creating a great Voter Fraud scenario for the State and the U.S. They can’t! If they do, ‘I think’ I can hold up funds to the State. Sorry, but you must not cheat in elections.”

The man who solicited election help from Russia and Ukraine is concerned about cheating in elections.

Trump is very upset over mail-in voting and keeps screaming about voter fraud, even though there isn’t any evidence to support it.

Trump told reporters, “I think just common sense would tell you that massive manipulation can take place. And you do have cases of fraudulent ballots where they actually print them and they give them to people to sign, maybe the same person signs them with different writing, different pens. I don’t know. It’s a lot of things can happen.”

Where, when, what? Where have there been “fraudulent” ballots that were “actually printed” then “given to people to sign?” This guy also claimed once that you need an I.D. to purchase cereal.

Donald Trump himself actually voted by mail, sending his ballot to Florida. Maybe he cheated so that’s how he knows it happens. His argument is that he’s “allowed to do it.” His spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany, defended his voting my mail by arguing how tough it was for him to leave the White House and go to Florida. I know she’s new on the job but you think she’d have noticed that Donald Trump, before the pandemic, was in Florida playing golf and bilking the government for it every other weekend since he became president (sic). Somebody, please give her the Cliff Notes.

Funny thing, Republican officeholders in at least 16 states that do not have all-mail elections have encouraged people to vote absentee during the coronavirus pandemic. You haven’t heard Donald Trump go after them yet. But maybe he should.

Donald Trump won Michigan, barely, in 2016. He’s going to lose it in 2020 and he knows it. But, he’s also trailing Joe Biden in other states he won, like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Arizona, Georgia, and his brand new home state, Florida. And you’re going to love this, but he’s only leading Biden by one point in….wait for it….TEXAS!!!! Yeehaw!

Even if Donald Trump doesn’t lose states like Georgia, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina, and Texas, his campaign will have to do some morbidly obese spending in those states.

This is some morbidly obese corruption and they’re not even trying to hide it. The good news is, Trump probably can’t withhold spending to those states, but I’m sure conservative courts and the Republican Senate will do all they can to help him.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about free and fair elections any more than he cares about the health of Americans during a global pandemic. His only focus with both is on himself. Donald Trump solicited help during the 2016 election from Russia and he got it. He even invited Russians into his campaign HQ. He placed suspected Russian spies on his campaign staff, then cried that the government was watching the suspected spies. Now, he’s doing it again, asking foreign governments to meddle in the 2020 election.

A president should want every American eligible to vote casting votes, even those who won’t vote for him. But Donald Trump and Republicans work to gerrymander and suppress. The people who cry that their rights are being robbed because they have to wear a mask don’t give a flying fig about non-white Americans being denied their right to vote. Cry me a morbidly obese river.

Donald Trump is corrupt and Donald Trump lies. At last count, which was in April, Donald Trump had told over 18,000 lies since he became president (sic). That’s a morbidly obese number.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

White Women White House


cjones05232020

The highlight of Chris Cuomo’s and Don Lemon’s individual shows on CNN is when one show leads into the next. These two guys truly are friends as they josh about the news, go at each other a little bit, and make each other laugh. It’s not as good as when Andrew Cuomo goes on his brother Chris’ show, but it’s good. Last night’s handoff was very interesting.

Chris ended his show on the news that Donald Trump refuses to have a portrait unveiling for President Barack Obama in the White House. For President Obama’s part, that’s a huge relief.

It’s a tradition that goes way back. Presidents have done it for their predecessors, even when they’re of a different party. President Obama did it for President George W. Bush. President Bill Clinton did it for President George H. W. Bush, a man he had a brutal campaign against.

American presidents are in an exclusive club. I believe they don’t see each other as Republicans and Democrats after they leave the office and view each other more as presidents. Presidents often ask former presidents for advice because there are very few people who have been in their shoes. Donald Trump refuses to do that. He insults former presidents. He believes he’s better, greater, and smarter than any of them and he’s cleaning up after all of them while taking credit for their accomplishments. If Donald Trump had succeeded President Abraham Lincoln, he would have taken credit for the Emancipation Proclamation. Of course, if Trump had succeeded Lincoln, there would have been a lot more questions about the shooter.

None of our living presidents like Donald Trump. Why? Because he’s a vile human being. Future presidents will never ask Donald Trump for advice partly because he’s not someone you want any advice from about anything and…he’s not going to be in the club. Donald Trump has no idea what it’s like to serve as president because he hasn’t acted or worked as president. When a reporter asks him what his plans are about a specific topic, like restarting the economy after the shutdown, he screams it’s a “nasty question.” He doesn’t have plans for the country. Donald Trump only has plans for Donald Trump.

So we have this unveiling situation. A lot of people would say now is not the time for this sort of finger-sandwich type of presentation in the midst of a pandemic. Things are not back to normal yet. Even if these two could tolerate each other, the focus should be on the economy. But, even if things were great right now and Donald Trump hadn’t destroyed the economy President Obama had left him…there would still be this issue.

This brings us back to Chris Cuomo who chastised both presidents, President Obama and Trump, for refusing to play together. This refusal to do the portrait unveiling is viewed by many as the complete death of all bipartisanship and the last casualty of the political divide. Cuomo gave a passionate plea for both presidents to get along…for the sake of the country. Then, he handed it off to Don Lemon.

Don Lemon was still in the process of sitting down when he said, “I wouldn’t go to that thing.” While Cuomo was arguing about bipartisanship and civility, Lemon was saying, “fuck that shit.”

I’m with Don Lemon. I wouldn’t go either.

There were a couple of former friends in town that over the years, I thought we had developed a non-verbal agreement that we never talked to each other. We’d see each other in public and say hi to our mutual friends, but not to each other. We wouldn’t’ have words or start anything…we just wouldn’t talk. I thought it was a great system. It was a well-oiled machine humming along beautifully that wasn’t to be questioned. I really enjoyed not having to say hello to either one of them. Then, one day, one of them said hi. I was like, “What the hell, Fucko?” I thought we had an agreement. Did you forget we don’t like each other, with me especially not liking you? Sheesh! Soon after, the other one came up to me one day as if nothing ever happened between me and his ex-girlfriend and started talking like it was old times. Good god, what’s going on around here? Why is our system breaking down? It was beautiful! It was working for me, I really liked it, and your ex was totally worth it. Anyway, I imagine President Obama feels the same way with Donald Trump. He probably doesn’t want the fake greetings and would definitely not want to go to his house. Yeah, screw that.

If President Obama went to the White House and sat through Donald Trump saying nice things about him, what sort to look would President Obama and Michelle have on their faces? Nobody would buy it. Donald Trump hasn’t just criticized President Obama’s politics. Trump has called President Obama “incompetent.” During President Obama’s term, Donald Trump was a huge advocate of the racist birther campaign that Obama was born in Kenya. Trump said he was sending investigators to find out the truth. We never heard anything else about those investigators, but Donald Trump harped on the birther issue until he ran for president (it disappeared as if it never happened). After he became president, Donald Trump accused President Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower. Now, he says President Obama has committed the “biggest crime in American history.” Maybe President Obama should go to the White House just to ask Donald Trump what that specific crime is because Trump hasn’t told anybody.

On top of all that, Donald Trump is using his racism against President Obama to appeal even more to his racist base in his campaign to be reelected.

Even if Donald Trump never bashed President Obama, it would be unsavory for Obama to partake in some shitshow presentation at the White House after all the vile and inhumane things Trump has said about other people. I don’t think President Obama is being petty at all. It’s Donald Trump who is being petty.

After all, it’s Donald Trump who can’t stop talking about President Obama. When you hate someone so much that you can’t even use the facts but have to make stuff up about them…then they’re living rent-free inside your head. Donald Trump has a huge problem with President Obama.

And what is Donald Trump’s problem with President Obama other than him being of a different party and race than Trump? Donald Trump hates President Obama because President Obama is better than Donald Trump. President Obama is better than Donald Trump in every way. He’s more popular than Donald Trump. He’s smarter than Donald Trump. He’s more accomplished than Donald Trump. He’s better educated than Donald Trump. President Obama won the popular vote…TWICE. Good people like President Obama. Only vile, racist, stupid people like Donald Trump. Donald Trump even has to pay his kids to like him.

It’s like the old joke: If Donald Trump had a dog, he’d have to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him.

And, President Obama is more accomplished than Donald Trump. Even the accomplishments Donald Trump claims belong to President Obama.

And when it comes to the portraits, President Obama’s will be better looking than Donald Trump’s. President Obama gets to go through life as Barack Obama and Donald Trump has to go through life being Donald Trump. And you know what…Donald Trump hates being Donald Trump.

Creative note: Last week, I caught a lot of shit for my “Jogger” cartoon. A newspaper in Tennessee ran it then had to publish a letter from the editor explaining why they ran it and they still respected their conservative community. But even some liberals called me a racist for it. I hate to explain a cartoon, but even after I told a couple of them no, I wasn’t trying to frame President Obama the way racists do, they still insisted I was and had put hidden messages in my cartoon. They acted as though I was some undercover agent sent from 4chan. Obliviously, they have not followed me for years.

But, I don’t worry about those people. I don’t try to change my work for people who can’t understand satire, whether they’re liberal or conservative. And, I don’t care if people accuse me of being a racist because I’m not a racist. Usually, the only people who accuse me of being racist are racists. What I’m saying is, there will probably be more of that generated by this cartoon.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Sucky Medical Advice


cjones05222020

I’m not a doctor, but Donald Trump does not look well. Again, I’m no medical professional, but Donald Trump looks like total crap. Granted, he’s never looked all that well, and I have no medical training, but he looks worse than usual. He looks like something scared the hell out of him. He looks like he saw a black female ghost in the White House.

I have no medical training, but I have opinions. I believe when I take Zicam after the first feelings of a cold coming on, it can prevent the cold or decrease its effects. Is that true? For some people some of the time. Can I prescribe (even though it’s over the counter)? No, because I’m not a doctor.

So when Donald Trump boasts about taking Hydroxychloroquine, a drug most medical professionals say doesn’t help fight Covid-19 at all and is probably more harm than good, he’s prescribing it. That’s dangerous. It’s reckless. I’ve said it before and Donald Trump proved it yesterday: Donald Trump does not care about you.

There’s much speculation as to why Donald Trump is taking the medication…and why he’s telling us. From liberals I’ve talked to, the thought is he’s making money off this and he knows his cult will try to take it too…if they can get a doctor to prescribe it. For others, they believe it’s a distraction from things like over 90,000 people dying from coronavirus, the firing of Inspectors General, and the Attorney General (who usually doesn’t have any problem carrying Donald Trump’s water) refusing to go after President Obama because EVEN William Barr sees it as overly political and illegal. I don’t think any of those reasons are why Donald Trump is taking it and boasting about it. The only reason Donald Trump is taking hydroxychloroquine is that he wants to stick it in the face of liberals, Democrats, and the media.

When making the announcement, Trump said he couldn’t wait to see the media’s faces. When asked why would he take a drug that doesn’t work and could hurt him, he said, “Here we go, you ready? Here’s my evidence. I get a lot of positive calls about it. The only negative I’ve heard was the study where they gave it — was it the VA with, you know, people that aren’t big Trump fans gave it.”

Wait. The only negatives he’s heard about it are from people who aren’t “big Trump fans?” So now, not only has the pandemic, reopening, and science been partisan and political, so is the treatment.” Donald Trump believes the treatment is all about Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has stood next to Dr. Anthony Fauci, the leading virus expert in the nation, while the doctor was expressing his opinion that you should NOT take this medication. Yesterday, Donald Trump said he’s taking it because he heard a doctor he doesn’t know say good things about it. Donald Trump is not a doctor but he has played a dumbass on television.

This is like ignoring medical advice given to you personally by Dr. Anthony Fauci in favor of sticking your penis in a meat grinder because a Facebook meme told you it works.

This begs other questions: Is Mike Pence taking it? And…did Donald Trump actually get this prescribed? We know the answer to the second question. It’s yes. Donald Trump said he brought it up to the White House doctor and the doctor went ahead and gave it to him. He’s been on the stuff for the past ten days which may explain the mood swings and shouting at female reporters during that time. We’re still unsure what caused all the mood swings and shouting at female reporters before that time.

So, Trump says, “Hey, Doc. I wanna take some shit I heard some good things about from 4chan.” And the doctor says, “OK.” I’ve always heard of patients asking doctors about a medication they heard about from some crazy source, like from watching Hannity,  and the doctor shooting the patient’s idea down. Of course, most patients aren’t the president (sic) of the United States. At first, I thought, maybe the doctor told Trump he’s doing what he wants, but all the pills are shaped like Bam-Bam. But no. The doc issued a statement that they weighed the negatives and they’re giving the stuff to Trump to prevent him from catching Covid-19.

According to the White House, Donald Trump does not have Covid-19…but there’s never been any evidence, none, zilch, nada, that taking Hydroxychlorquine prevents you from catching it. we’re not even talking about fighting the virus after catching it. We’re talking about it being a preventative measure. He may as well be taking Zicam.

There are serious dangers of this drug, like “life-threatening heart rhythm problems.” The side effects include “crazy dreams” and mood swings. Could Donald Trump have a physician lie for him? I mean, could the 248 pounds, six foot three Donald Trump have a physician lie for him? Donald Trump is about to turn 74-years-old. He’s a big guy. He’s probably on other medications. He has a history of heart disease. He only eats fast food. The only vegetable he consumes is ketchup. And…he’s fat. He is so fat. Last night while talking to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called him “morbidly obese.” I can NOT wait for Donald Trump to reply to that and use the defense that doctors only describe him as “clinically” obese.

I told you the different theories liberals have as to why Donald Trump is taking this. My theory is to stick it in the face of the media, liberals, and Democrats. Conservatives and Trump shitweasels agree with me. Last night, I looked on a few MAGAt social media pages and they were all with the belief that Donald Trump is taking it, while believing the medication works, just to piss off liberals. As one put it, “The media is afraid Trump’s going to prove it works.”

Here’s the thing, fucknuts: Donald Trump can’t prove it works. If it doesn’t hurt him, that doesn’t prove it won’t kill you. It won’t even prove it prevents one from catching the virus. And keep in mind, Donald Trump has doctors around him on a daily basis. If he’s actually taking this stuff, he’s probably taking two EKGs a day. He is being monitored by the minute. This not going to prove it works…but it can prove it doesn’t.

The greatest danger of Donald Trump taking a medication promoted by quacks and conspiracy theorists is that it will harm his supporters. People have already died from taking this quack’s medical advice. His supporters already argue against wearing masks and some believe it’s a deep-state method of controlling them.

Donald Trump argues Hydroxychloroquine has been around for forty years and it works because it helps with malaria and lupus. Does Donald Trump have malaria? Does Donald Trump have lupus? Are you going to start wearing a flea collar because you heard it works on fleas so it must work on the coronavirus?

So, kids. If you’re arguing, believing, and/or taking a specific medication because Donald Trump told you it works, in defiance of the FDA, the CDC, the Veterans Affairs Administration, and the World Health Organization, congratulations. You are now officially in a cult. You’re following an orange Jim Jones. You may as well be a Branch Davidian. You are drinking the Kool-Aid.

Donald Trump has given some very bad medical advice. He said people go to work and recover from the coronavirus. He says he’ll continue to shake hands. He refuses to wear a mask because he doesn’t “see it for himself.” He threw out the idea of drinking bleach. But, he will take some quack medication that could make his obese heart collapse.

So, if you’re willing to listen to Donald Trump and take Hydroxychloroquine…why don’t you just go all out. Take Hydroxychloroquine…and down it with a Clorox chaser.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

(P)oodles of Corruption


cjones05212020

Could the Trump administration at least put some effort into trying to cover up their corruption? Usually, when people in the government engage in some type of corruption, they either try to hide it or disguise it as something else. With Donald Trump and his poodles, they’re not even trying anymore. Quite frankly, that’s insulting. Back in the good old days, he would at least have one of his goons funnel payoff money to pornstars through a dummy corporation in Delaware.

When they fail to plan ahead and disguise their cronyism and corruption, they’re telling us they don’t have to hide it because Donald Trump is an infallible dictator who can’t be questioned. Like Richard Nixon said, “It’s not illegal if the president does it.” Donald Trump has adopted that mantra…except in the case of President Obama. I’m waiting for the “biggest crime committed in the history of the United States” to be that instance when President Obama made fun of The Apprentice. Gary Busey still hasn’t recovered.

Donald Trump fired the Inspector General of our nation’s intelligence community for reporting it to Congress. He even fired people who testified before Congress and in one instance, had a brother of a witness fired. I guess he can’t take any chances.

Donald Trump does not like oversight. He doesn’t like accountability, fact-checkers, or reporters who ask him about things he’s said that are not factual. He desires to be unquestioned and obeyed. He hires people who supported his claim he didn’t know about those pornstar payoffs…then didn’t question it when a tape was revealed of him planning those pornstar payoffs. So, if those people can be total and complete unethical lackeys who don’t mind working for a lying piece of crap, why can’t everyone else? Sheesh!

When asked about an Inspector General report about a lack of testing in the nation’s hospitals, Donald Trump said, “That’s wrong.” He wasn’t talking about the report being wrong. He said it was “wrong” for there to be a report. He replied to the reporter, “Did I hear the word inspector general, really?” He then fired that IG.

The problem Donald Trump has with Inspectors General is they’re not loyal to him. They do their jobs which is often to root out and expose malfeasance. Donald Trump’s middle name should “Malfeasance” instead of “John.” But then again, there have been a lot of times in his life when he’s been a John so that’s appropriate too.

Donald Trump has fired multiple Inspectors General. Trump fired Michael Atkinson, the IG of the intelligence agencies. He fired Christi Grimm, who wrote the report on testing at hospitals. Her crime was that she’s an Obama appointee…except she’s not. He fired Glen Fine, the acting IG at the Department of Defense. Fine had recently been named by a panel of federal IGs as chairman of a congressionally-mandated commission to oversee the $2 trillion coronavirus relief package.

Now, Trump will appoint one of his goons to oversee the $2 trillion relief package.

Here’s where it gets intense, real, and ridiculous: The relief package required oversight. It was attached to the bill by Democrats and Donald Trump conceded to it. Then, when he signed it, he wrote, “My Administration will treat this provision as hortatory but not mandatory.” It’s like he got the bill to sign into law and he decided which parts of it were legal and what parts he could remove. That’s not a metaphor. That’s exactly what he did. It’s another one of those things where you can say, “Imagine how Republicans would react if Obama did that.” And who taught Donald Trump the word “hortatory?”

When Trump came into office, he sent warning signs he intended to root out IGs deemed or suspected to be Obama loyalists. He fired Daniel Meyer in 2018, who led the Whistleblowing and Source Protection Program at the Office of the Intelligence Community Inspector General.

Trump failed to give even a half-assed decent excuse for this latest firing. He sent a letter to Congress that said, “It is vital that I have the fullest confidence in the appointees serving as Inspectors General. That is no longer the case with regard to this Inspector General.” That reasoning is as empty of details and specifics as his “pandemic playbook” or the charges he’s accusing President Obama of. It’s like his replacement for Obamacare. “Something better.”

Donald Trump fired Steve Linick, who was the IG at the State Department. His firing was recommended by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. Why? We don’t know. But who was Linick investigating at the time of his firing? Mike Fucking Pompeo (that is his middle name). Reportedly, Linick was looking into accusations that Pompeo was using government employees to do his personal bidding, like making restaurant reservations and walking his dog. Pompeo has been too busy spreading conspiracy theories about China to bother himself to make sure his dog pees outside.

Mitt Romney said the firing was a “threat to accountable democracy.” Republican Senator Chuck Grassley said, “Inspectors General provide a critical check on an otherwise unaccountable bureaucracy. That means IGs help drain the swamp.

Unfortunately, since the rest of the Republicans are like Pompeo and are poodles for Trump, that’s the only concern expressed about Trump’s latest move in his drive for a total dictatorship…and stockpiling the swamp.

This is total corruption and they’re not even hiding it anymore. They’re firing the people who can tell on them if they steal from us. They’re not even bothering to hide it anymore. The worst part is, they’re getting away with it.

At least Pompeo’s dog is housebroken because Trump’s poodles are pidding all over the place…and the Constitution.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.