THBBFT Trump


cjones10142020

Donald Trump has been talking about how great he feels just a week after testing positive from the coronavirus. Well, supposedly a week.

He said he might be invincible and immune from the virus (despite catching it) and his treatment, full of dozens of experimental drugs and steroids, is the cure. What happens when he crashes?

He’s made several videos and some people have expressed concern about whoever was tasked to apply the pounds of orange makeup required for his face. But, looking at the way the makeup was applied, perhaps they used mascara attached to a 14-foot pole. Or, perhaps they used Homer Simpson’s makeup shotgun and it was set on “whore.”

Donald Trump has never looked good. Right now, he looks like what crap looks like that was crapped out by crap.

Today (Saturday), he plans to host an event at the White House, where the last time he hosted an event it turned into a Trump Virus super spreader. Ack!

On Monday, he plans to hold a rally in Florida, where the governor has no restrictions or safety precautions for the virus. I have an idea for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. If he’s not worried about Trump spreading the virus or holding a super-spreader event in his state, then I challenge him to allow Donald Trump to lick his eyeball.

Maybe, Donald Trump’s steroid crash will occur during Monday’s rally.

With several people from the Trump orbit currently in quarantine from catching or being exposed to the Trump Virus, these events are going to need warm bodies..because all the other bodies are growing cold. Only true sycophants need apply.

And Donald Trump will only want to be surrounded by the true sycophants because a true sycophant will never tell him how he really looks.

Ack!!! THBBFT!!!

Creative note: If you don’t get this cartoon, I’m not going to explain it to you. But, Bloom County was a part of my development as a cartoonist. I was first influenced by Peanuts, then Garfield, and then I graduated to Bloom County. Somewhere between Garfield and Bloom County, I discovered Mad Magazine and the influences of Don Martin and Sergio Aragones still reside somewhere deep inside my brain. In fact, these crowd scenes have Sergio all over them.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump Militia


cjones10132020

Yesterday, the FBI, who, despite what Donald Trump will tell you, are the good guys, busted a ring of terrorists planning to kidnap the governor of Michigan. The FBI charged 13 men. Some were plotting to start a civil war. Others were planning to storm the state capitol building.

Gee. Storming the state capitol building in Michigan. Why does that ring a bell? Why does that sound familiar? Why does that….oh yeah! Just a few months ago, rabid rabble rousing fucknuts did storm the state capitol building in Michigan, demanding the state to reopen businesses and to stop a face mask mandate. The capitol-building storming was brought on, encouraged, inspired, motivated, and endorsed by the president (sic) of the United States of America.

A few months ago, Donald Trump tweeted that his militia fucks should “liberate Michigan.” He also encouraged them to “liberate Virginia” and to “liberate Minnesota.” All three of these states have Democratic governors and are considered by Trump to be swing states (Virginia is NOT).

The plans to kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer have Donald Trump’s fingerprints all over them.

The FBI has named white nationalists as the greatest terrorist threat in the United States. Not Antifa, not Black Lives Matter (which is a civil rights group), and not even ISIS. Hell, al Qaida is barely even on the radar nowadays. But for more than a year, the White House rebuffed the Department of Homeland Security from making domestic terrorism a priority. Domestic terrorists are Donald Trump’s base.

During the one debate Donald Trump had with Joe Biden, where he was probably trying to give his opponent a virus, Donald Trump played down the threat from white terrorists.

Donald Trump said most of the violence he sees are from groups like Antifa, which isn’t even an organized group. There is no Antifa. There are people who identify as Antifa, but there’s not an actual organization.

After white nationalists and other assorted tiki-torch Nazis marched in Charlottesville in 2017, chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil,” Trump said there were good people on both sides.

During the debate, Donald Trump told Proud Boys, another white supremacist hate group, to “stand back and stand by.” Within minutes, the Proud Boys tweeted his words with a brand new logo featuring, “Stand back, Stand by.” Overall, there were over 5,000 tweets from racist individuals inspired by Trump’s shout-out from a national platform in prime time.

Even after the FBI busted the white Michigan terrorists, Trump sent out a tweet, attacking the governor and going after Antifa.

You know who else never showed any appreciation for the efforts by the government to save him? The lindbergh Baby. That little ungrateful bastard.

Donald Trump was also trying to take credit for the FBI busting the Michigan terrorists, even though he’s the one who supported them. Also, Donald Trump refused to use the word “terrorists.”

In fact, most headlines didn’t use the word “terrorists.” Most used “militia.” But let’s call them what they are. They’re terrorists. Again, let’s call them what they are. They’re Trump supporters.

There were inspired, just like the Proud Boys, by Donald J. Fucking Trump. The president (sic) of the United States is endorsing terrorism. He’s encouraging terrorism. And just like his calls for them to be “poll watchers,” he called for them to liberate Michigan. And following his orders, they sought to kidnap and possibly murder a democratically-elected governor of a state.

The Michigan terrorist planned to use explosives, to kidnap Whitmer from her vacation home, to take her to Wisconsin for a “trial” and to do it all before the November election.

Governor Whitmer said, “I knew this job would be hard. But I’ll be honest, I never could have imagined anything like this.” You know, we knew having Donald Trump as president (sic) would be a disaster, but we never imagined it would be anything like this.

How could we have imagined an American president would give shout-outs to hate groups? How could we have imagined an American president would be an apologist for Nazis? How could we have imagined an American president would create new slogans for white supremacists? How could we have imagined an American president would give marching orders to terrorists? How could we have imagined the entire Republican Party would be OK with this? How could we have imagined there would be a base of support that would say, “I’m not a racist but….Nazis? Yeah, OK. I’m voting for him anyway.”?

The Michigan “militia” belongs to Donald Trump. These terrorists are his people and the same kind of people from Michigan who gave us Timothy McVeigh and conducted the Oklahoma City bombing. Why are white supremacists, Nazis, Proud Boys, the KKK, white nationalists, and terrorists the president’s (sic) people? Because white terrorists are the president’s (sic) base of support.

The FBI says white nationalists groups are the greatest terrorist threat to this nation.

That means Donald J. Trump is the greatest terrorist threat to this nation.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Pence Fly


cjones10122020

If you heard a little tiny high pitched voice during last night’s debate saying, “Help me,” it wasn’t the fly. It was Republican senators going down with this administration. Thom Tillis, Lindsey Graham, Joni Ernst, and Martha McSally, who was never elected in the first place, are all buzzing around Mike Pence’s head saying, “Help me.”

I paid close attention to the debate last night. Kamala Harris was expected to prosecute the Trump administration. Mike Pence was expected to deflect, lie, and be condescending and wormy. And though I tried to pay attention, I lost all focus for two plus minutes of the debate. Why was I distracted for over two minutes? Because that’s how long a fly was attached to Mike Pence’s white head.

I was mesmerized. When is the fly going to fly away? Will it leave? Is it stuck to whatever component Pence uses to fossilize his hair? What the fuck is going on with the fly and Mike Pence’s hair! AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH! FLY!!!!

Finally it left, but before it did, it had its own Twitter account. The internet lit up over the fly. If you run outside right now and ask someone for their first impression of last night’s debate, they’ll mention the fly. My readers on Facebook were demanding I draw a fly cartoon. At first, I thought, “Nah. This is an internet thing and that doesn’t always translate to the rest of the world….holy shit. Everybody’s talking about it.”

As soon as the debate was over, on MSNBC, Rachel Maddow, Joy Reid, and Nicole Wallace talked about the fly. When Brian Williams came in, he talked about the fly. On CNN, Anderson Cooper, Chris Cuomo, and Don Lemon were talking about the fly. Over on Fox News, they were talking about the best pumpkin spice recipes for a brisk Autumn afternoon.

Before going to bed around 1:00 A.M, I knew I had to draw a fly cartoon. It’s funny that before the debate, I was wondering what would come out of it for me to draw. I never expected it to be a fly on a Trump goon’s head.

As they say, flies are attracted to shit. And whenever you defend Donald Trump and the “accomplishments” of his administration, you’re talking shit.

And just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored reality. Mike Pence told Senator Harris, “you’re entitled to your own opinions but you’re not entitled to your own facts.” He said this twice ignoring the FACT he is the main butt poodle for a man who has told over 20,000 lies.

Just like he tried to pretend the fly wasn’t there, Mike Pence, the evangelical, pretends he’s not goon number one for Mr. Grab Them By The Pussy.

Just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignores the fact the Trump administration throws children into baby cages.

Just like he paid no attention to the fly, Mike Pence pays no attention to the fact over 210,000 people have died from the coronavirus.

As he ignored the fly, Mike Pence, head of the Coronavirus Task Force, ignores safety protocols. The woman he sleeps with whom he calls “Mother,” ignored safety protocols and the debate rules last night by coming onto the stage without a face mask.

Just like he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored the rules of the debate, talking over his time limit, talking over the moderator, Susan Page, and talking over his opponent, Senator Kamala Harris.

Just like he ignored the fly, he ignored all respect toward Senator Harris and Ms. Page. He ignored respect for the American people, using them as if criticizing the Trump administration’s failure over containing the Trump Virus is somehow attacking the American public.

Fortunately for Mike Pence, Senator Harris and Ms. Page also ignored the fly on his white head. They also ignored the cold sore around his mouth. Herpes much? Mother should have kept her mask on. They ignored the pink eye. Mother should have worn goggles. Quite frankly, someone should have taken his pulse. The guy looked like death and flies were literally landing on him. Can zombies speak other than saying, “Brains”? Except for this zombie, he ain’t got any.

A CNN poll said Kamala Harris won the debate, 69% to Pence’s 39%. Personally, I think the fly came in second. The worm came in a distant third.

Mike Pence is a coward. Mike Pence is a worm. And just like all members, supporters, and cultists of this administration, he’s full of shit. And that’s why flies are attracted to him.

Bzzzzz.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Bingo


cjones10112020

Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Chris Christie, Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Miller, Thom Tillis, Mike Lee, Ron Johnson, Hope Hicks, Nicholas Luna, Chad Gilmartin, Karoline Leavitt, Bill Stepien, and Ronna McDaniel (who even had “rona” in her name) are all people working in the White House, or close to it, who have tested positive for the coronavirus… so far.

There are nations that aren’t having as many outbreaks a day as this White House has had.

Many of these people have worked overtime to downplay the virus and deny it was as bad as it is. They worked hard to mislead the public. They over-exerted themselves to lie to America. And if they didn’t do that, then they worked for an administration that did. They are complicit.

Let’s not say any of them deserve it, but they each truly did ask for it.

A few months ago, Kellyanne Conway demanded a reporter to produce the name of a White House staffer who claimed people in the administration were calling it the “China Virus.” She said it was a racist term and nobody in that White House would ever use such an ugly description. Scratch that. Soon, Donald Trump was calling it the “China Virus” and Kellyanne, when asked to denounce that, said, “Look over there! It’s an aardvark!” And while the reporters were looking, she took off.

But many people who have caught the virus from the Trump team that downplayed it and refused to exercise the safety guidelines from their own Coronavirus Task Force, did not ask for it. A lot of people did not ask for mouth breathers to breathe on them.

While Kellyanne asked for it, her daughter didn’t. It was bad enough that Kellyanne Conway spent the past four years talking about “alternative facts” and lying for a corrupt administration. But who knew she was this vile? She refused to practice safety so she could stay in line and pander to a stupid and hateful president. She exposed herself to catch the coronavirus. Now, her lying and pandering to the worst president in world history has threatened the lives of her children. Her 15-year-old daughter, TikTok sensation Claudia, has now caught it.

In a video, Claudia claimed her mother lied to her about testing negative. Then she posted a new video saying she “guessed” she had misinterpreted her mom and that Kellyanne said she tested three times, twice positive, and never lied about it. The best thing about this is, she was taping a new TikTok video with her mom in the room who said, “You lied about your fucking mother…about covid.”

I was wrong. The best part about that is at the end her sentence, Kellyanne asked, “You’re taping again…”

Isn’t it delicious irony that Kellyanne is upset her daughter “lied” about covid? If only Kellyanne could hold her boss, the president (sic) of the United States, to the same standards and accountability as she holds her 15-year-old daughter.

Kellyanne also left her position at the White House to spend more time breathing on her family.

Others who did not ask for the virus from the White House are the three journalists who Kayleigh McEnany helped catch it.

This White House refused to create a safe environment for its employees. They carried out rallies. They even carried out huge, mask-less events on the White House lawn which is believed to have been the spark for this latest outbreak. After sharing it with the world, this administration refused to contact those in danger. They even tried to hide the outbreak.

The administration didn’t want to alert the press that Hope Hicks had acquired it. Would they have still hidden it after Trump tested positive? How would they have explained all the people working from home? What would they have said after journalists covering the White House started catching it?

Now, White House adviser and hate speech writer Stephen Miller has caught it. He was in that group with Hope Hicks that leaped into Marine One with Donald Trump last Wednesday. Another in that group was Jared Kushner.

If you had Stephen Miller on your bingo card, congratulations. Now, all with Jared are keeping an eye on him.

I’m sorry. Is it too soon to mock these people for catching a deadly virus? Not if issuing a commemorative coin celebrating Donald Trump defeating the virus, before he’s defeated the virus, isn’t too soon.

But hey, if you are one of those White House employees who have caught the virus because of Donald Trump’s failures, don’t worry. According to Donald Trump, it’s no worse than the flu. It’s not that bad. You can’t let it “dominate your life.”

In fact, you’re probably a winner. I mean, Donald Trump isn’t a loser, right? It’s not like everything he touches turns to shit, right? And he touched you, right?

As Hans Landa said in Inglourious Basterds, “Ooh. That’s a bingo.”

Creative note: Laura, one of my cartoon proofers, deserves a shout-out for this. While proofing, she asked if the bingo balls were supposed to look like the coronavirus. They weren’t but I thought it was an excellent idea. Thanks, Laura.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Failed Hoax


CNN10042020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

There was hope that Donald Trump having the coronavirus would change his messaging of the pandemic…and more importantly, change how his base behaves with it.

Nope.

Donald Trump said he went to the “school of covid.” He fully understood it now…then tweeted he may be immune to it, despite testing positive and going to the hospital for three nights. He may have gone to the “real school,” but like that Ivy League school he got into, he might want to get someone else to take his tests.

If Donald Trump fully understands the coronavirus, then he fully doesn’t give a rat’s flying ass about the danger he’s posing to others. He risked lives with his joyride outside the hospital. He risked lives with his photo-ops inside the hospital. He risked lives leaving the hospital early and returning to the White House for more photo-ops and to immediately make a campaign video. Of course, all without a mask.

Soon after arriving back to the White House, he came out on the balcony, removed his face mask, labored to breathe, then gave a salute. Who was he saluting? The people on the sidewalk facing the south lawn are too far away to tell he’s saluting. So, what the hell? Go to bed, you orange goon and make sure they burn the sheets in the morning, you contagious rancid sack of walking pumpkin shi…

Anyway, now, his base is using his return to the White House to claim the illness isn’t that bad. Or, that it’s really bad but this is just how incredibly strong Donald Trump is. What a superhero. What a super spreader. How many people in the Trump orbit have tested positive now? How many will?

Trump was euphoric tweeting he feels better now than he has in the past 20 years…and his base is claiming this is “owning the libs.” Donald Trump says we shouldn’t be “scared of the virus” or let it “dominate our lives.” It’s a message to his base.

Maybe Donald Trump should message to his base that they won’t receive the same treatment he has. They won’t be placed in Walter Reed hospital. They won’t receive experimental medical treatment. They won’t receive non-stop pampering and medical attention by the world’s top doctors. They won’t have doctors also engaging in spin doctoring. They won’t have steroids to make them feel better than they did 20 years ago.

What Donald Trump needs to message to his base is to wash their hands, practice social distancing, and wear their damn mask.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Joyride


cjones10102020

Everything Donald Trump and his goons have said about the coronavirus has been wrong.

Last February, probably as part of her audition for the job of White House Spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany said, “We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, and isn’t that refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama?”

SpokesBarbie has excelled at her job of lying to the American public, but it’s really hard to gaslight that the virus hasn’t “come here” when you have the fucking virus. Also, the coronavirus did NOT come here during President Obama’s two terms and the majority of terrorists in the United States make up a part of Donald Trump’s base. Fact.

Last week, after Hope Hicks tested positive, Kayleigh went ahead and gave a press briefing. She claims she wasn’t aware of Hicks’ positive test for the virus, but we know Kayleigh lies. Now, three journalists who cover the White House tested positive for the virus in addition to two of Kayleigh’s staffers.

Just like Donald Trump, who went ahead and attended a New Jersey fundraiser after knowing Hope Hicks had tested positive and after being in her presence, Kayleigh has disregarded the safety of others in favor of selfishness, arrogance, and stupidity.

Donald Trump and his White House have no regard for anyone’s safety. They and Trump’s doctors refuse to tell us when Donald Trump last tested negative. For all we know, he went to that fundraiser after testing positive. For all we know, he went to last week’s debate after testing positive or at least knowing he should be in quarantine.

In fact, everyone in the White House and all who attended the super spreader event that was the Rose Garden ceremony for Amy Coney Barrett should be locked up in a bubble. They should all be in quarantine. Jared, Ivanka, and even the vice president, that ass-kissing sycophant who sleeps with a woman he calls “Mother,” should be in quarantine.

At the debate, Melania Trump, who now has the virus, and the Trump offsprings, Ivanka, Don Jr, Eric, and Tiffany, all arrogantly refused to wear masks. They arrived to the debate conveniently too late to be tested. They were offered face masks, which they refused. They should not have been offered face masks. They should have been kicked out promptly on their spoiled trust-fund baby asses.

McEnany continued to talk to the press after Trump’s positive diagnosis. She claimed it was safe because she had tested negative and not wearing a mask was her personal choice. I’m not saying she deserved to catch the virus, but let’s say catching it was her “personal choice.”

And if Mark Meadows, who also spoke to the press catches it, it’ll be the chief-of-staff’s personal choice. If the Trump kids catch it, it’ll be their personal choice too.

It was Chris Christie’s personal choice. Christie once said there is an acceptable number of deaths for the pandemic. Now, not wanting to be one of those “acceptable deaths,” has checked himself into a hospital after testing positive.

The Trump administration is still disregarding the safety of others. There has been no contact tracing from the Rose Garden super spreader event. They did not contact the Biden Campaign about the positive tests beforehand. They didn’t contact reporters after Wednesday’s press briefing. The New Jersey governor’s office is frustrated in that for their contact tracing for the Trump fundraiser at Donald Trump’s shitty golf resort (where previously, the biggest worry was acquiring bedbugs), the Republicans and Trump Campaign have only given them a list of names of the over 200 who attended the potential super spreader event. They’re not providing contact information.

And Donald Trump hasn’t just disregarded his own safety (out of stupidity) but also that of those who protect and serve him. He put the lives of Secret Service agents in jeopardy for his Sunday joyride so his supporters could see him cruising around outside Walter Reed hospital for a minute. He put their lives in danger again by going back to the White House last night. He’s putting the lives of everyone who works in the White House in danger. A lot of those workers are non-political and serve the president of the United States, no matter who he is or from which party.

Donald Trump has put appearance ahead of safety. Donald Trump’s first job is to protect the American people. With the infected including himself, Hope Hicks, Kayleigh McEnany, Chris Christie, Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien, Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel, Kellyanne Conway, three Republican senators, Mike Lee of Utah, Thom Tillis of North Carolina, and Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson, Trump’s personal assistant Nick Luna, and University of Notre Dame President John Jenkins, Donald Trump can’t protect those closest to him. Donald Trump failed to protect himself.

And Kayleigh McEnany, who has spent the past eight months lying and spreading misinformation about the virus, who promised on her first day that she’d never lie to us, and who said Donald Trump would never allow the virus to enter this country, has now had the virus enter her. Her Dear Leader, who she professed so much bullshit faith in, failed to protect her.

Donald Trump refused to protect the nation from the virus. Instead, he spread false information and waged a war against face masks and those who were fighting the virus. He touted fake remedies like Hydroxychlorquine and told us time and time again it’s what was needed to fight the virus…while not using it himself after he caught the virus.

Did Donald Trump deserve to catch the virus? Kinda. He did ask for it. He challenged it. One thing he deserves is being behind Joe Biden 16 points in the latest poll.

And Donald Trump, for failing to protect this nation leading to over 210,000 deaths, deserves to be thrown out in November. Afterward, Donald Trump deserves to continue to receive the best medical care our government can offer him…in prison.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Roughing It, Volume 65


Check out some rough sketches. Some of these ideas made the cut, most did not. Most of these are from two weeks ago, but I threw a few in from last week.

CNNrough960

This is the rough for the cartoon selected for last week’s CNN Opinion newsletter.

CNN09272020

And here’s the finished product.

CNNrough973

This is the rough for this week’s newsletter.

CNN10042020

It didn’t change much. 

CNNrough959

This rough turned into…

cjones09282020

…this.

CNNrough962

No one really got this so I turned it into a Russian hooker pee cartoon, which everyone got.

CNNrough966

But it wasn’t this one…but it almost was.

CNNrough961

This is a very substandard idea for a political cartoon.

CNNrough958

This was OK.

CNNrough956

I almost went with this one.

CNNrough967

This rough is from last week, drawn Thursday before we knew Trump had covid.

CNNrough964

The sentence next to last, “But he still donates his salary back to the…,” I left out the last word which was supposed to be “government.” Also, remember when we were upset over Donald Trump cheating on his taxes? That seems so long ago.

CNNrough968

You might see this one again. I may draw it for my clients. I was originally thinking of this for CNN Opinion but then Trump got the covid. Fucking Texas.

CNNrough957

I was imagining Trump paying his respects to the Notorious RBG. My proofers and a couple of friends LOVED this one. I don’t remember why I didn’t do it.

What are you favorites?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Presidential Poll Watchers


cjones10092020

Note: This blog was written Thursday evening and the cartoon was started around the same time. Normally, I don’t ever write the blog before the cartoon is completed. They were both pushed aside around 1:00 A.M. Friday morning when you-know-who went “achoo.”

During Tuesday night’s debate between The orange shitgoblin and Joe Biden, the goblin spread bullshit conspiracy theories and called on his supporters to be “poll watchers.”

In spreading hate and fear, Trump said, “Today there was a big problem. In Philadelphia they went in to watch. They’re called poll watchers. A very safe, very nice thing. They were thrown out. They weren’t allowed to watch. You know why? Because bad things happen in Philadelphia, bad things.”

I’m not sure what sort of “bad things” he’s talking about. Maybe he got one of those cheesesteaks with Cheez Whiz on it. Ew. But what happened in Philly was a case of Republicans trying to act as “poll watchers” who were not approved.

Right now, polls are not open in Philadelphia. There are satellite offices where mail ballots can be requested, completed, and submitted. Poll watchers do not have the same rights at these locations as they do at traditional voting locations on election day. Another reason these goons were booted out of the offices is because of safety precautions due to the coronavirus. I mean, it’s not like the Oval Office where they just let any Republican in to breathe in your face.

Before the debate, Trump tweeted, “Wow. Won’t let Poll Watchers & Security into Philadelphia Voting Places. There is only one reason why. Corruption!!! Must have a fair Election.” Yes, everything is done to engage in corruption to defeat Trump. This is a guy who claims that the only he can lose the election is if there is massive fraud.

There are other reasons Donald Trump could lose the election. Maybe it’ll be because of his rotten handling of the coronavirus that’s led to the death of over 200,000 Americans and and unemployment rate that’s at 8 percent. Maybe the majority of Americans don’t want a narcissist in the White House who would rather pursue baseless conspiracy theories than science. Maybe the majority of Americans don’t like nepotism. The nation could be tired of the international embarrassment Trump brings. Maybe most of America doesn’t like baby jails. Or perhaps, most of America doesn’t want the nation run by a racist.

It’s that racism thing coming into play during this election. Trump started his 2016 campaign on racism, accusing Mexican immigrants of being rapists and murderers. He gave the shout-out to tiki-torch Nazis in Charlottesville. He is continuing a racist attack this week against congresswoman Ilhan Omar. And during the debate Tuesday, he didn’t only refuse to condemn a violent hate group, he gave them instructions.

Many have pointed out that condemning and disavowing racists is an easy layup. It’s like tee-ball where the ball is on a stick. All you have to do is hit it. Trump refused to do that. He didn’t want to piss off the stick. And in fact, he told the stick what to do.

Donald Trump told the violent racist group, Proud Boys, to “stand by.” What are they to stand by for?

Are they stand by for violence after Donald Trump loses the election? Or, maybe he was still talking to them when he said, “I’m urging my supporters to go into the polls and watch very carefully, because that’s what has to happen. I am urging them to do it.” Do you think his supporters will go in there to be impartial?

But the thing is, Donald Trump, just like when he told his voters in North Carolina to vote twice, is encouraging them to break the law. The man who is screaming about election fraud is telling his people to break the law during the election.

State officials aren’t having it.

Nevada Attorney General Aaron Ford said, “He wasn’t talking about poll watching. He was talking about voter intimidation. FYI — voter intimidation is illegal in Nevada. Believe me when I say it: You do it and you will be prosecuted.”

Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey said, “We’re not going to let Donald Trump undermine our election It’s a crime to intimidate a voter or to obstruct the vote, to interfere with the election, and we will prosecute.”

Minnesota Secretary of State Steve Simon said that state law limits poll watchers to one per campaign. He said, “I’m more worried about what happens outside the polling place to those disappointed supporters of any candidate who show up thinking they’re going to be allowed access and finding out they won’t be.” That should be a concern because there are two things true about Trump supporters: They don’t know the law and they’re stupid.

Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring said in a statement that Trump’s comments were “blatantly urging his supporters to congregate at polling places, go inside, and ostensibly harass and intimidate voters.” Last month, a group of Trump supporters showed up outside a polling location in Fairfax, a heavily-Democratic Virginia suburb, waving Trump campaign flags and shouting, “Four more years.” That’s not poll watching. One voter asked to be escorted past the group.

Herring said, “While there are authorized ‘poll watchers’ who monitor polls on Election Day, their duties are clearly laid out, and they do not include what President Trump has suggested. Voter harassment and intimidation will not be tolerated in Virginia.”

David Becker, the executive director of the Center for Election Innovation & Research said, “I’m very concerned that armies of poll watchers might interfere with the election, they might not be adequately trained or they could be viewed as intimidating.”

That’s exactly what Trump is doing. He’s calling his “army,” which includes the Proud Boys, who love to enter cities while armed and start riots, to go into voting precincts and start some shit. These goons will go into these precincts the same way they go into Starbucks, Target, or the Michigan capitol building…armed and trying to intimidate. Their hero is a bully and so are they.

The day after the debate, White supremacist Andrew Anglin posted on his neo-Nazi website, “I got shivers. I still have shivers. He is telling the people to stand by. As in: Get ready for war.” Trump’s goons are coming. They’re locked and loaded…thanks to Trump.

There is now a Trump Campaign website called “Army For Trump.” Who do you think that appeals to? Donald Trump Jr. posted a video to it where he says, “We need every able-bodied man, woman to join the army for Trump’s election security operation.”

Also, just to show you how it’s done: I condemn racists of all types, white supremacists, neo-Nazis, tiki-torch Nazis, the Ku Klux Klan, and the tiny-penis cowards who can’t get laid who call themselves “Proud Boys.”

I’ll go one step one further. Fuck you, Proud Boys. We’re not afraid of you. We’re voting and we’re removing the fascist wannabe you’re whacking off to. This is our country, we’re going to set it right and clean up the mess you helped create.

Quite frankly, you don’t scare me. I’m more afraid of that Cheez Whiz sandwich.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Conspiracy Sickie


cjones10082020

Donald Trump’s last doctor, Doctor Ronnie, told us Trump could live to be 200 years old. He lied about Donald Trump’s weight. He even lied about his height. Hell, maybe they’re even lying about his age. Now, that jackass is running for Congress in Texas, but his successor has taken over the medical lies.

When asked by reporters today if Trump had been on oxygen, Dr. Sean Conley said, “he’s not currently on oxygen.” They tried again. Has he been on oxygen? “He’s currently not on oxygen.” Again. Has the president (sic) of the United States been on oxygen at any time over the past 24 hours? “He’s currently not on oxygen.”

Later, we found out he has been on oxygen.

Then, the doctor messed up and told us they’ve been treating Trump for the past 72 hours. That’s weird. Donald Trump didn’t test positive until 1:00 A.M. Friday morning and that little press briefing was today, on Saturday. That was not 72 hours ago. Are these doctors actually spin doctors? Have they been treating Donald Trump longer than they revealed he’s had the virus? Did Donald Trump know he had the virus when he went to New Jersey to schmooze for campaign cash at an indoor fundraiser? Did he know he might have the virus at the debate?

Did Donald Trump know he might have the virus when he arrived late at the debate, thus being able to avoid a covid test? Did his family, who refused to wear face masks at the debate, know this?

Did Donald Trump intentionally try to pass the virus onto his political opponent?

This administration has lost all credibility. Even the medical experts have lost our trust.

It’s amazing that after four years, we’re still discovering that Donald Trump can be even more vile, selfish, arrogant, and horrible than we already believed he was.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Virtually Nobody


cjones10072020

Today, my friend Mike Petersen, who does a website and feature called “Cartoon of the Day,” used my cartoon from yesterday and said I was “piling on.” I don’t take issue with that, but that really wasn’t my intention.

For me, political cartoons should point out the obvious. Donald Trump told racist goons to “stand by.” In my cartoon, that goon is Clorox Man, who I created some time ago to replace Kool-Aid Man. I’m taking the same route for today’s cartoon. Trump said the coronavirus “affects virtually nobody.” Right now, the president of the United States is in Walter Reed Medical Center which is not where one goes when they’re unaffected by the coronavirus.

Donald Trump is in what they call the “Presidential Suite” at the military hospital in Bethesda. This is named after the president, not Donald Trump. But now, we should definitely call the coronavirus the “Trump Virus.” He has his name all over it. Now, it’s all up inside him.

If people see me as piling on, so be it. What’s worse than piling on is the inability of being humble by the Trump cult. Right now, these people should be eating some humble pie, eating crow, admitting they were wrong and that their actions endangered their health and lives, those of their families, and the entire nation. They need to eat some shit.

Eric Trump sent out a tweet about praying for his daddy. That’s nice. But at the debate, Eric refused to wear a mask. In fact, officials in Cleveland even offered him and his siblings, Donald Jr, Tiffany, Ivanka, and their wives and girlfriends, masks. Even Melania refused to mask up. And the thing is, the entire team of arrogant, selfish, entitled slobs showed up late. It was too late to be tested for the virus as everyone was supposed to be who attended the event. Donald Trump, who may have known he was likely to test positive, was not tested. They refused to be mature or responsible. They need to eat some shit.

This is selfishness and arrogance. But it gets worse.

After being in contact with the Biden Campaign, the Trump Campaign did NOT inform them of the danger. There was no courtesy or responsibility extended by Donald Trump, who of course has famously said, “I take no responsibility.”

Then, after learning White House aide Hope Hicks had tested positive and being on the same helicopter and plane as she was, Donald Trump still flew off to New Jersey for a fundraiser. An indoor fundraiser. Thursday, before Trump tested positive, but knowing he was in danger, White House Spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany held a press briefing without informing the press. Now, three journalists have tested positive. Kayleigh needs to eat some shit.

Yesterday, Chief of Staff Mark Meadows was out talking to reporters without a mask saying it’s OK because he tested negative. This is still being selfish and arrogant. They’re still ignoring science because if you’ve been paying attention, he can still test positive tomorrow. Mark Meadows needs to eat some shit.

And they’re testing positive. So far, three Republicans senators have tested positive. Thom Tillis of North Carolina, Mike Lee of Utah, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin. Do you know what all three of them need to eat? Shit.

Others in the Trump orbit of doom have also tested positive such as the First Lady, Melania, Kellyanne Conway (who was in the debate prep), Campaign Manager Bill Stepien, and others. You can expect more positives throughout the next few days. Does the Trump Virus affect one’s appetite because Melania, Bill, and most of all, Kellyanne need to eat….wait for it….SHIT!!!!

Yesterday, a fucknut cartoonist drew two cartoons defending Trump. In the first, Trump is still raring to debate despite having the virus. You know, because he’s a tough guy. In the second, he’s going after Nancy Pelosi for pointing out that Trump should have exercised more caution. The Trump cult doesn’t handle reality very well and we’re still not seeing anything resembling humble from them. Does Uber Eats deliver shit?

Eric wants us to pray for his dad. For the past eight months, these assholes have been real assholes about this. The White House has manipulated data. The president (sic) has demanded schools to reopen putting your children’s lives in danger. Jared thought this would play very well politically by hitting the blue states hardest. They made attempts to outbid states’ purchases of medical equipment, driving up costs. They withheld medical equipment with Jared saying, “It’s ours, not yours.” Trump tweeted, “Liberate Michigan,” sending his goons to storm state capitals. He encouraged bikers to gather in Sturgis. He continued to hold hate rallies without any safety precautions. In fact, in Tulsa, they removed stickers on seats that were encouraging social distancing. They waged a political war against wearing face masks. They made the masks about individual liberty and freedom. They promoted fake treatment like Hydroxychloroquine and bleach. Donald Trump promoted fake treatment from a doctor who warns of demon sperm. Donald Trump directed his goons to engage in a smear campaign against Dr. Fauci. The administration politicized the CDC. Even inside the White House, the wearing of face masks has been discouraged. And even after Donald Trump’s friend and supporter, Herman Cain, died, they refused to take it seriously. Every single Trump cultist needs to eat a big, huge pile of steaming shit.

A lot of liberals think Donald Trump is faking this. Trust me. They don’t want to eat all this shit.

There is hope. Yesterday afternoon, after Trump was helicoptered from the South Lawn to Walter Reed, a group of White House goons was seen gathered with nearly all of them wearing face masks. Though, they still were not practicing social distancing.

The president’s main job is to protect the people of the United States. Donald Trump has said this himself on many occasions. To do this, the president, even Donald Trump, must protect himself. His life doesn’t belong to just him and his family right now. He has an obligation to the nation. Donald Trump refused to protect the presidency. Take care of his citizens? Take care of his own people? Donald Trump, who has gathered his followers into tight rallies, failed to even take care of himself.

The Trump cult does not do well with facts, even when their lives depend on it. It’s a fact that most things Donald Trump says is wrong. He said the corona…er, Trump Virus “affects virtually nobody.”

He was wrong. If you don’t believe me, ask his doctor.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.