Twitter’s Turkey


Yup, I know. I gave you an Elon/Twitter cartoon yesterday. But here’s the thing, kids…

I wrote this idea Friday and planned to draw it Saturday, but then Merrick Garland appointed a Special Counsel to investigate Trump, so this cartoon got pushed to Sunday. But then on Saturday night, Elon reinstated Trump to Twitter, so this got pushed to Monday.

However, it almost got pushed back to never because I really wanted to draw something on the shooting in Colorado Springs today…but three factors got in the way of that.

Factor number one: I felt I needed to give my clients something with a Thanksgiving theme. Being that this is Monday, this is probably the latest I can get it to them for this week.

Factor two: I traveled today and went through multiple airports and it has left me very tired, so it was easy to fall back on this.

Factor three: I don’t have the idea I want yet on the Colorado Springs thing.

So here I am in Mississippi where I just finished my Elon/Twitter/Thanksgiving cartoon and I’m $226 poorer for it.

Ya see, kids, you’re favorite goofball cartoonist is kinda stupid…or at least fails at paying attention to details on occasion. OK, a lot of occasions.

I booked this flight from Washington to Memphis months ago when Southwest threw a deal at me. Somehow, I managed to book my arrival and departure on the same day. I noticed this about a month ago and fixed which cost me a fee that wasn’t too bad. Then today, I arrived at the wrong airport. I thought I had booked it at Reagan but instead booked it at Dulles. But, Southwest had a flight leaving Reagan for Chicago at the exact same time as the one leaving Dulles for Chicago. So they were able to put me on that flight out of Reagan…for $226. I am not rich so I hated having to spend that, but I did it because nothing was going to keep me from being with my kid this week.

I know, I didn’t talk about this Elon/Twitter issue at all, but we did that yesterday. I need a nap.

Advice: Look closely at your ticket…or just don’t get old and have senior moments.

Creative note: As I mentioned, I wrote this Friday. Since then, I saw two other turkey twitter cartoons. One of them was drawn by my buddy Chris Britt who told me to draw mine anyway. Without seeing it first, he said it would be different because it’s me. Then we joked about tracing the Twitter logo because there are several cartoonists who do that…and we crack on them.

Music note: I listened to some Them Crooked Vultures.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

It’s Gonna Be Wild


Donald Trump was removed and banned from Twitter for instigating a white nationalist terrorist attack designed to overturn a free and fair election and install him as an unelected dictator. Twitter removing him was the right move because he’s a national security threat and used the platform to attack our nation. People died because of Trump’s use of Twitter to start a riot. He told his supporters to come to Washington to stop the certification of an election, telling them it was “going to be wild.” Now, Elon Musk, the troll who bought Twitter, has reinstated Donald Trump.

Elon conducted a poll on Twitter asking if Trump should be reinstated. The poll itself was trolling. “Yes” won with 51.8 percent. Elon used this to justify lifting the ban on Trump. A little over 15 million Twitter users responded to the poll while there are over 450 million active Twitter accounts. There’s no telling how many of the 15 million were bots, and there were certainly a lot of users who didn’t want to feed Elon’s ego by participating in his stupid little poll. Elon claimed 134 million users saw the poll which is admitting the majority didn’t want to play with him. This is another fake win for Trump.

Trump claims he won’t return to Twitter, but we know he’s a liar. If Donald Trump actually stands by his commitment not to return to Twitter, it’ll only be because doing so will destroy the failing platform he created, Truth Social.

Elon claims reinstating Trump is free speech, but instigating a terrorist attack isn’t free speech. I think Elon knows this but he just doesn’t care about the damage he inflicts on this nation. He made it clear he wanted Republicans to win the midterms so he’s obviously reinstating Trump to help Trump retake the White House. Now, Elon has made Twitter a safe haven for terrorists.

With all the decisions Elon has made since he took the platform over, it almost seems like he wants to destroy Twitter. And it almost seems like he wants to destroy this nation.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Roughs, Volume 162


I had a pretty light week drawing and submitting roughs to CNN last week, so this batch is a small one.

I could probably make all of Trump’s sippy cups with the message on this one. I didn’t do anything with this cartoon. I thought it was too simplistic.

I did turn this one into an actual cartoon and sent it to my newspaper clients. I think it came out lovely.

I got the idea for this one after reading an article about anti-abortion groups (they’re not pro-life) writing checks for Herschel’s runoff campaign, despite the fact he has paid for at least two abortions. I still might use a variation of this idea if someone doesn’t steal it from me. I’m watching you guys.

It’s true. They did forget to ask that. I didn’t use this cartoon.

I added a note with this one to my editor saying, “They’re all women.” They picked it and I really like the way it came out. It was pretty popular too on the social media platforms I haven’t been banned from yet. Check out the finished cartoon if you haven’t already.

I knew this didn’t work but it makes me laugh anyway. I like the chomped surfboard.

I made this into an actual cartoon because I love Count Von Count. Check it out.

Which are your faves?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Bonesaw Dreams


Mohammed bin Salman, the Crown Prince and now Prime Minister of Saudi Arabia may receive legal immunity from a lawsuit over the murder of Saudi dissident and Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi. As a candidate, Joe Biden promised to isolate MBS and turn the man into an international pariah over his role in the murder of Khashoggi, which our national intelligence believes he ordered. As president, Biden has visited MBS in Saudi Arabia and gave the guy a fist bump. Now, instead of making the murderer a pariah, he’s legitimized him… and he still hasn’t helped us out with rising gas prices.

Donald Trump, who made excuses for MBS’s murder and has hosted his golf tournaments while his son-in-law, Jared, has been gifted $2 billion from the Crown Prince, is more likely to see the inside of an American prison before the Saudi ever will. Perhaps Trump is sympathetic toward MBS because he can relate to killing people. Because of Trump’s ineptitude, mismanagement, lies, downplaying, and politicizing of the coronavirus pandemic, tens of thousands of Americans died who shouldn’t have. There is blood on both of these men’s hands.

And while MBS is being shielded from an American lawsuit over the murder of Khashoggi, Trump will now be investigated by a Special Counsel appointed by Attorney General Merrick Garland.

I thought the appointment of a Special Counsel was a bad move until I saw Trump and Republicans’ reaction to it. Trump has called it “unfair” and says he won’t “partake” in it, at least not in the way he partakes with a KFC bucket.

Trump said, “For six years I have been going through this, and I am not going to go through it anymore.” The reason Trump has been “going through this” for six years is that he’s been a criminal for over six years. And guess what. He will be going through it again. And not “partake?” He barely partaked (partooked?) with the Mueller investigation and refused to sit down for an interview. I hope this Special Counsel doesn’t eat that bullshit and is tougher than Robert Mueller.

After “going through this” and being optimistic about the Mueller investigation, I’m going to withhold my enthusiasm for this one until I see something to be hopeful about.

Trump and his goons have been claiming all these investigations are political anyway, so I’d ignore all the noise they’re making now. Like MBS, Donald Trump is a criminal. Let’s at least make one of these bad guys receive justice.

Creative note: I’m leaving town tomorrow so I planned out my next three cartoons… and then Merrick Garland had to fuck all that up yesterday.

Music note: I listened to Zebra’s first album.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Don’t Leave Us, Nancy


If Donald Trump somehow manages to retake the White House, that’s when we’ll miss Nancy Pelosi the most because she had his number.

Nancy Pelosi stepped down last night from Democratic leadership, though she’s going to remain a member of Congress. Republican representative Ronny Jackson, a man who has literally been inside Donald Trump, tweeted how she’s now unemployed and no longer living off the taxpayers. She is NOT unemployed and Jackson is also living off the taxpayers. Republicans are enthusiastic that they “fired” Pelosi, but she’s stepping down. She hasn’t been fired.

I thought of doing a cartoon on a new problem for Republicans, which will be their hunt for a new boogeyman. For the past two decades, they’ve been vilifying Pelosi though none of them can actually tell you what’s so bad about her. They trashed her to the point that a terrorist broke into her house and assaulted her husband, cracking his skull open with a hammer. Today, they’re still vilifying her.

I saw a cartoon last night with this concept and another colleague commented on it, saying he was working on the same concept. But, boys…you’re forgetting something and that is, Republicans don’t work with reality. Republicans are still attacking Hillary Clinton and she hasn’t made a political move in six years. How many times in the past two years have you heard a Republican warn that Hillary Clinton is planning to run for president? MAGAts scream at me for drawing Trump, saying I should leave him alone since he’s not president (sic) anymore. But they really enjoy all those Hillary cartoons conservative cartoonists are still drawing.

But I wanted to draw a cartoon that’s more about Pelosi than about Republicans.

What’s so “bad” about Nancy Pelosi for conservatives is that she was good at her job. In fact, she was great. She is the greatest House speaker in the history of the House. Put aside whether you agree with her or not, or if you even like her personally, she knew how to keep her members in line and push measures. There would be no Obamacare if Nancy Pelosi wasn’t Speaker at the time. If Pelosi hadn’t been Speaker for the last two years of Trump’s presidency (sic), he might have gotten funding from Congress for his racist border wall instead of having to steal it from the Defense Department’s budget.

During Pelosi’s speech, she mentioned that she enjoyed working with Presidents Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and even George W. Bush. She didn’t mention Trump, but maybe she should have, because I’m sure she enjoyed beating his ass time and time again.

Pelosi out-negotiated Donald Trump more than once, even during a government shutdown he initiated over funding for his wall. He left that negotiation with nothing and reopened the government. She impeached him twice and reconvened the House after his terrorist attack on it.

Pelosi didn’t mention Trump in her speech yesterday but subtly referenced him saying, “American democracy is majestic, but it is fragile. Many of us here have witnessed its fragility firsthand, tragically, in this chamber. And so, democracy must be forever defended from forces that wish it harm.”

Kevin McCarthy, who will most likely be the next Speaker, showed what kind of speaker he plans to be by not attending Pelosi’s speech. He criticized Pelosi for not delivering the speech when he could have been available. Shame on her for not checking with him first.

Republican Steve Scalise attended her speech, and was the only member of House GOP leadership to do so, and applauded for her.

Republican Doug MaLafa, one of the few who attended, said, “It has been historic. She’s been strong for her conference all this time. There’s a rivalry with opposite teams and all that stuff, but you know, at the end of the day, we all try to remember and reflect on how you get along with people.”

Republican Dan Meuser praised and insulted her, saying, “She’s got quite a legacy, that’s for sure. She’s an incredibly strong lady, hard worker, determined; certainly proved to be an excellent leader for her Democrat Party. I disagreed with her probably 98% of the time. But you’ve got to respect what she’s done. I was here because it was historic. The first woman speaker of the House and now, stepping down for the second time. So she’s quite a lady… and I don’t necessarily mean that always in a positive way.”

But in case we forgot that most Republicans are vile, there were those to remind us. Republican Jeff Duncan said, “Thank you for tendering your resignation from House Leadership today, @SpeakerPelosi, but I believe the American people fired you first.” They didn’t fire her from Democratic leadership, you ignorant turd. The only person the GOP has fired from House leadership was Liz Cheney, and that was for having principles.

The always classy Lauren Boebert tweeted, “Good riddance,” even though she hasn’t officially won her reelection yet. After a recount where she leads by a little over 500 votes, we could be saying “good riddance” to her. The likes of Boebert really can’t miss an opportunity to be as vile and shitty as possible.

Republican Tim Burchett said, “We don’t agree on anything. And I went up and talked to her, and she hugged my neck, and she asked me how my little girl Isabel was doing. She has a granddaughter named Isabel.” That’s the kind of person Pelosi is, and not the character the GOP has made her out to be over the past two decades.

Pelosi was the first woman to become Speaker of the House. She referenced the progress saying, “When I came to the Congress in 1987, there were 12 Democratic women. Now there are over 90… and we want more.”

Senator Tammy Duckworth said, “She’s broken glass ceilings and been a true role model for generations of women, including myself.”

Nancy leaves leadership with grace, civility, and dignity, all of which are sorely lacking in the new majority.

Creative note: I used this concept back in 2016 after Trump “won” the election, but with Uncle Sam grabbing onto President Obama’s leg, though that cartoon didn’t feature Trump. I thought it was fitting then and I think it’s fitting now.

Music note: I listened to CeeLo Green

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Extremists in the House


America returned control of the House of Representatives to Republicans in the midterm elections, despite the fact they’re Republicans. What I mean by that is, Republicans oppose everything the majority of voters in this nation are in favor of.

Most Americans favor democracy and mail-in voting. Most Americans favor ballot drop boxes. Most Americans choose the United States over Russia. Most Americans are in favor of a woman’s right to choose and believe abortion should remain legal in every state. Most Americans support Medicare and Social Security. Most Americans support Obamacare. Most Americans support student debt relief. Most Americans oppose coups and insurrections. Most Americans believe Joe Biden won because most Americans voted for him.

Republicans are also the party of racists, liars, and lunatics. Who do you think the Proud Boys vote for? Who do you think Klansmen and Nazis vote for?

But Republicans ran on a message of fighting crime, reducing inflation, lowering gas prices, and closing our “open” borders (bullshit). This is what a lot of Americans voted for when they voted for a Republican. So what will Republicans do now that they have the power to set the agenda? They’re going to impeach Hunter Biden.

In case you weren’t paying attention during the campaigns for the midterms, and if you voted for a Republican you weren’t, none of the Republicans offered solutions to inflation, high gas prices, crime, or to border issues. Not a single one of them proposed any ideas. They just made a lot of noise about it. What are we going to do about the open border? We’re going to close it. How? By closing it!

And in case you weren’t paying attention to the last time Republicans controlled the House, you’ll remember they don’t know how to govern. I guess you forgot that. What was John Boehner’s greatest legislative accomplishment as Speaker? What was Paul Ryan’s? The biggest legislative achievement in the Trump era when the GOP controlled the House and Senate was to give Trump and other billionaires tax cuts. That was it. They didn’t even fund his wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for.

Now, Republicans have a slim majority which is a huge problem for them. There’s a difference between Democrats having a slim majority and Republicans having one. The Democrats had Nancy Pelosi, who just announced she won’t seek the leadership position in January. But as Speaker, Pelosi is the G.O.A.T. She can count votes and herd cats. Even with disagreements and small revolts from the likes of the Squad, Pelosi still got things done. She out-negotiated Donald Trump and kicked his ass repeatedly. Remember when the House voted for Trump’s first impeachment and applause broke out by Democrats until Nancy gave that look? When she gave the mother’s look, the House fell silent. Nancy was the BOSS.

Republicans on the other hand are held hostage to their extremists. Kevin McCarthy has already bent over for the Dum-Dum Caucus, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, and before he was defeated in a primary, Madison Cawthorn.

Despite the slim majority, Republicans can set the agenda and they have subpoena power. So expect subpoenas to be sent out by the very same people who refused to cooperate with an investigation into an insurrection that tried to overturn our government.

Republicans plan to investigate Hunter Biden despite the fact there is already an investigation into him by the Department of Justice and that Hunter has never held a government position. There will NOT be an investigation into Jared receiving $2 billion from the Saudis right after he left his post of making government deals with the Saudis.

The Republicans’ plan to investigate Hunter is strange also because there’s been nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and nothing at all that implies or suggests President Biden did anything illegal, unethical, or inappropriate when it came to his son’s business dealings. And despite having the laptop in their hands for two years, it hasn’t even given Republicans any evidence that Hunter did anything illegal. But expect them to spend millions of dollars on a two-year investigation that produces nothing. I expect Jim Jordan to chair this one.

I’ve said this before and I’m gonna say it again. Ask any Republican, or Ted “Sputnik boy” Rall, what’s on the laptop.

Instead of investigating Donald Trump’s crime of stealing classified government documents, they are going to investigate the investigators. They did this right after Trump assumed the presidency. Instead of investigating Russian spies and Russian collusion in the Trump Campaign, they investigated the people who investigated Russian spies and Russian collusion in the Trump Campaign. How will the House do this without Devin Nunes, who is now overseeing Truth Social or some shit like that?

They’re going to spend millions investigating the military withdrawal from Afghanistan but ignore that it was negotiated by Donald Trump and the Taliban. This one should be fun and it might be short because there will be Democrats on the committee and one of them might bring up the Trump/Taliban factor.

They’re going to investigate border policies and attempt to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas.

They’re going to investigate the origins of Covid-19 and I really really really really hope they put Marjorie Taylor Greene on this committee. Since this is starting out with nothing but conspiracy theories, I believe Republicans are dumb enough to give her a seat on the committee. Before she was removed from her committee assignments for endorsing death threats against Speaker Pelosi, MTG, Ms. Jewish Space Lasers, sat on the Education Committee…seriously.

But mostly, when it comes to significant legislation, there will be two years of nothing. Remember that M. Night Shyamalan film “The Happening” where nothing happened? I still wonder how I sat through two hours of a plot about grass ordering humans to kill themselves, but then I remember some fuckers have sat through entire Trump speeches (but in my defense, the grass wasn’t bigoted and ordering only Jews to jump off buildings). But yeah, it’s going to be like that not-happening movie…but for two years. And in 2024, we can point out that the GOP did nothing for two years…except shut down the government which I’m sure they’ll do at least once over some insignificant bullshit (remember when Donald Trump only got a little bit of money for his racist border wall, so he shut down the government, and Pelosi negotiated him into not getting any money for his racist border wall? Ah, good times).

So, expect two years of nothingness except for Republicans shooting themselves in their collective foot….like all the other times voters gave them control of the House since 1994.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Four More Coups


Welcome to the first day of the 2024 campaign season.

If Donald Trump really believes the last election was stolen and the election didn’t work, then why is he going through the trouble of going through another election? If I take my car through a carwash and it comes out with pigeon crap all over it, I’m not gonna go through that carwash again. The only reason for Trump to run for president again when he believes, as he stated last night, that our democracy is a “rigged and corrupt system,” is to use the 2024 election as a vehicle for another coup attempt.

Seizing power isn’t just one of the several reasons Trump announced his candidacy for the 2024 election last night. One of my readers on GoComics titled the Trump comeback attempt “Loserpalooza Grifting Tour 2024.” Trump has a history of grifting his supporters. To raise money from his gullible goons over the past two years, he’s used fighting to be reinstated (he was not reinstated), to fund campaigns for other Republicans (which he did very little of), and to fight the political attacks against him by the FBI and DOJ (they’re not political). Now, he gets to raise money as a political candidate, but let’s use last night as an example of how that works into another grift.

Trump made his announcement at Mar-a-Lago. This was a campaign event. I’m sure Mar-a-Lago charged the Trump campaign to host this event. For the slow kids, the money you gave Trump for his campaign or Super PAC went to the venue owned by Trump and then went into Trump’s pocket. This is what we refer to as a grift.

Records from Trump’s former accounting firm, Mazars USA, were released two days ago by the House Committee on Oversight and Reform. The disclosure shows that six nations spent over $750,000 at Trump’s Washington hotel during his presidency (sic). China, Malaysia, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and the United Arab Emirates would spend $10,000 a night in order to influence the Trump White House (sic). Qatar spent more than $300,000 over three months ahead of a meeting between Trump and the country’s emir. So when Trump sat down to talk to that guy, he was probably aware that he had just given him over $300,000. These are just six of the nations that patronized a Trump property while he was in office. The Washington Post estimates that his trips to Mar-a-Lago alone cost taxpayers over $64 million.

At $64 million, that’s one dollar for every bedbug found at Trump Doral. Or at $130,000 to silence porn stars he raw dogged in Vegas hotel rooms, $64 million would pay off 493 Stormy Daniels. And MAGAt goons want an accounting of every dollar we spent on Ukraine, please.

Another reason Trump’s announcing this early is that he believes he can’t be indicted by the Department of Justice for the coup attempt, or the stealing of classified information, or by Georgia for election fraud, and for everything else he’s being investigated for. Since Donald Trump’s white nationalist terrorists defecated in the halls of Congress, I believe any sentence Trump receives should include picking up dog poop in Washington D.C.’s public parks. Hey, who’s that fat orange guy bagging dog doo-doo in Farragut Square?

And another reason he’s announcing this early is to scare off other potential Republican candidates, like Ron DeSantis. But if anything, Trump has potentially created an exciting moment for when DeSantis does announce, because it’ll be new and fresh after Trump has spent months being the only candidate barking out the same boring lies. Ooh, when he does announce, I hope DeSantis wears the white boots.

Boring? Did I mention boring? It couldn’t have been boring because last night, I turned on Fox News for a few minutes and saw Mike Huckabee and Jim Jordan telling Sean Hannity that it would be impossible to beat Trump because he was on a huge roll of dynamic energy or some shit like that. Sean, Huckabee, Jordan, and a few other goons were going on and on about how incredible Trump’s speech was that they weren’t actually paying any attention to. What?

Yeah, Fox News cut away from Trump’s speech to talk about his speech. The fear for Fox News was that their viewers might actually hear it…or fall asleep while hearing it. This is like me making a giant bowl of pasta with my amazing sauce, putting it across the room where you can see it, but not letting you have any of it. Instead, I’ll just describe it and tell you how amazing it is. Just take my word for it. The meatballs are amaze-balls. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Last night, all the pundits were pointing out that Trump was attempting to duplicate what Grover Cleveland accomplished and be just the second former president to win the presidency. Grover Cleveland was elected to the presidency in 1885 and he lost his reelection attempt in 1889. Four years later, in 1892, he came back and won the presidency again. Not only did he win the presidency, but he beat William McKinley, the man who defeated him in 1889. Trump isn’t just trying to do what Cleveland did by winning back the presidency, but also by defeating the man who defeated him, President Joe Biden.

But after listening to his speech last night, or at least the parts I didn’t fall asleep to, Trump is more likely to duplicate the history of the five other former presidents who attempted to retake the White House than he is to duplicate Cleveland’s feat.

Trump’s speech was boring. Sure, he was reading off a teleprompter but it was like the guy couldn’t see the periods. It was one long run-on sentence of lies.

It wasn’t shocking that MSNBC didn’t air any of his speech live, but it was a little of a surprise that CNN gave up and went to analysts during his speech. But it was an even bigger surprise that Fox News stopped airing it live and instead, brought us the fawning analysis of Mike Huckabee. Fox News wanted their readers to trust that it was an exciting speech instead of viewing it and seeing it as the snore-fest it actually was. Jeb Bush tweeted that it was “low energy” and hashtagged #SleepyDonnie.

It was an extremely long speech. In fact, he might still be delivering it.

You might be thinking it only seemed boring on TV and to truly appreciate the dynamic energy and enthusiasm, one would have had to be there. We could always ask the people who were there if only the Trump Campaign would unlock the doors and let them out. That’s right. Several people tried to flee before they yawned themselves to death but were foiled in their escape attempts by locked doors. That was probably a violation of a lot of fire codes and definitely the stuff of my nightmares.

I was in a room during a Trump speech once and fortunately, the doors were not locked and my companion and I were able to flee the scene during all the seig heils when nobody would notice. But even if they had locked the doors, no Trump Campaign workers would have been able to prevent me from leaving.

It’s the lack of energy and enthusiasm coming from Trump that makes me believe he’s not going to duplicate Grover Cleveland, and instead follow the paths of Martin Van Buren, Millard Filmore, Ulysses S. Grant, Theodore Roosevelt, and Herbert Hoover (Yes, I have ninja research skills, y’all). Each of these five former presidents attempted a comeback to retake the White House after leaving it. What all five failed to do wasn’t just win back the White House, but win their parties’ nominations. Each of their parties said, “Nah, uh-uh, we’re good, thanks but no thanks,” and “seriously, Fillmore? What the fuck?”

Maybe instead of trying to be like Grover Cleveland, other than being tied with him for second-fattest president (Cleveland didn’t have a Dr. Ronnie Jackson to lie about his weight but he did have a doctor who’d give him secret jaw surgery on a yacht off the coast of Long Island), Trump should try to do what president John Tyler did.

John Tyler also lost the presidency after one term, took 16 years off, then attempted a political comeback by running for a seat in Congress…the Confederate Congress.

Sure, John Tyler was a traitor, a former U.S. president joining the enemy, but Trump’s a traitor too. Donald Trump is beholden to Russia and tried to overthrow our government. And we all know how much Trump loves Confederate statues and defends Nazis and people in white hoods, but the Confederacy isn’t around anymore. Maybe Trump can run for office in the government of one of our enemies that still exist, like Russia or North Korea. Tyler won a seat in the Confederacy and maybe Trump can sit in the Duma, the Russian Congress. They can call him the Duma Dumbass. It’s catchy.

Just be careful, Sleepy Donnie. Tyler won the election in his political comeback but died before he could assume his treasonous office. Don’t worry, Donald. I’ll let everyone know you’re not dead…and that you’re just giving another speech.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Blowing Smoke With Kari


We are accustomed to receiving election results on election night, but we are not entitled. Naturally, Republicans believe they’re entitled to everything they want. And if they don’t get what they want, they lie and whine like little babies.

Jim Jordan tweeted, “Election results should be known on election night.”
Why? You’re not entitled. In fact, official counting of votes has NEVER been completed by any state on election night. It’s never happened. David Becker, executive director of the nonpartisan Center for Election Innovation & Research, said it’s never happened at any point in our nation’s history. Ever, ever, ever. Never.

Taking days to learn the results of an election isn’t new. We didn’t know who won the 2000 presidential election for over a month, which was into December. Even then, we never really found out who won the most votes as it was the Supreme Court ending the Florida recount in a 5-4 decision, giving it to the…wait for it…Republican. Do you remember the GOP outrage over that? Yeah, me neither.

Before and after the governorship of Arizona was called last night for Democrat Katie Hobbs, and the senate for Democrat Mark Kelly, Republicans were griping about how long the count was taking. Hobbs defeated Kari Lake by over 20,000 votes and Kelly beat Blake Masters by over 126,000. Oddly enough, you didn’t hear these complaints concerning Lauren Boebert’s win for her Colorado congressional district, which took several days to count and handed her a victory of just a little more than 2,000 votes.

If we had stopped counting on election night in Boebert’s district, she wouldn’t be going back to Congress. Eat that, hypocrites.

Tomi Lahren tweeted, “I am utterly disgusted about whatever the hell happened in Arizona. Un-freakin-believable!!!”
Yet, she can’t tell us “what the hell happened” in Arizona. I’ll tell you what happened, Tomi. You lost. You lost because more Arizona voters voted for the Democrats than for the Republicans. That’s it.

Another right-wing goon named Brigitte Gabriel who must be important because she has a blue badge on Twitter unless she paid for it, tweeted, “Mail in voting is a crime against Democracy! Ban it!”
No, it’s NOT a crime. And there has never been a massive election fraud that’s come from mail-in voting. Fact, fat, fuckity, fact, fact.

Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted, “Our elections are the laughing stock of the world. Other countries do it in one day and count all of their ballots. They get their elections done. I don’t know why the United States can’t accomplish this in one day.”
Actually, Marjorie, there are a lot of things you don’t know. It can take up to ten days after an election in Australia to count all the votes and declare a winner. Canada was still counting votes three days after the 2021 federal election. It can take a week in the United Kingdom. And where winners are announced on election night, like France, you have to take into account that the vote count is conducted by the federal government, not local governments. Also, keep in mind that we have more people than most other countries. There are a little over 65 million people in France compared to 331 million in the United States. The number of voters in the U.S. was more than double the entire population of France.

And Marjorie, the only way our elections make us the laughingstock of the world is because some of our elections are won by ignorant stupid racist goons such as yourself. I’m mostly shocked you didn’t claim the votes were being counted by the Gazpacho Police.

Matt Schlapp, another goon with a blue badge, tweeted, “I’m awed by Katie Hobbs who managed to be in charge of AZ’s election and allowed the biggest suppression of Election Day votes while having her squad count so slowly and privately that no one has any idea what the hell just happened including reporters.”
Actually, Republicans were mostly in charge of the count in Arizona. And again, what happened was you lost.

By the way, Brian Kemp was Secretary of State for Georgia when he won the election for governor of that state. Before the election, he put over 53,000 voter registration applications on hold, with 70% of the applicants being black voters. He also purged 1.4 million voters from the state’s system, again, mostly black voters. He also resisted the federal efforts to secure state voting systems and exposed voters’ data. Did Mr. Schlapp ever express doubt over any of Kemp’s election victories? He was probably too busy schlapping his monkey over election-denying bullshit.

Here’s the problem with mail-in voting for Republicans: Mail-in voting makes it easier to vote, thus more people vote. The more people who vote, the more people who vote against Republicans. The larger the turnout, the more votes Democrats receive. That’s democracy. The Republicans have a problem with democracy.

Over the past decade, more Americans have been voting for Democrats than Republicans. Republicans have only won the popular vote once in a presidential election over the past 30 years. The Republicans’ saving grace is that we have a very flawed system that lets them retain power, and install federal judges, despite the fact most of us hate them.

It’s a lot easier for Republicans to lie, whine, cry, and scream about the system when they lose than it is to offer policies and messages that appeal to the majority of Americans. As it turns out, the majority of Americans believe in a right to choose, choose America over Russia, and don’t like election deniers and insurrectionists all that much. The people who are claiming without proof that something fraudulent happened in Arizona are the same people who supported a coup for a Russian puppet who lost the 2020 presidential election.

Kari Lake said she’d only accept the results if she won. She said that because she’s anti-democracy and pro-fascist, and she knew if every vote was counted, she would lose. It’s why Donald Trump tried to cast doubt on the 2020 election being fair months before the election. He knew he was going to lose. Let me drop a spoiler for you now. He’s going to lose again in 2024.

None of these election deniers have ever produced evidence the 2020 election was won by Donald Trump and stolen by Joe Biden. And before they claim Arizona, Nevada, or any other states’ elections were stolen, they should provide proof. You can bet that if they lose the Georgia runoff in December, they’ll cry foul without any proof there too.

One good reason to vote against a person is if they’re not mature enough to handle losing. Nobody likes losing, but you don’t have to be lying babies about it. The lack of confidence in our elections is only because we have Republican goons telling the American public they can’t trust elections.

No, it’s not elections I don’t trust. I don’t trust Republicans.

Music note: I listened to Nirvana.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

DeSanctimonious Politicizations


After Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ 19 percentage point romp over Democrat Charlie Crist in his reelection victory last Tuesday, a debate ensued within the GOP over whether it’s time to abandon Trump and start worshipping at the altar of DeSantis, especially since most of Trump’s picks of candidates went down in humiliating fashion.

The Republican Party promised us a Red Wave. But thanks to Donald Trump, we got a weak pinkish trickle. There are signs the Trump cult is having doubts.

Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post’s front page featured Trump as Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall. Another front page from the Post labeled DeSantis as “DeFuture.” Another Murdoch outlet, The Wall Street Journal, called Trump the “biggest loser.” The goons at Fox News are fawning all over DeSantis and Tucker replayed an interview he did with the guy months ago. None of this is sitting well with Trump. It’s like watching your ex-girlfriend make out with Ron DeSantis on the front page of the New York Post while Tucker Carlson watches while touching himself.

Louisiana Republican Senator John Kennedy declared to a reporter, “We are not a cult,” though nobody asked him if the GOP is a cult. But they are and every cult needs an ass to rotate around. DeSantis believes it’s his derriere that should be the sun in his situation. “Away from the Sun” is a song by Three Doors Down who played for Donald Trump the night before his inauguration. If DeSantis wins the 2024 presidential race, he’ll one-up Trump by having a shittier band, like Nickelback, play at his party (there was a tour years ago of those two bands plus Puddle of Mudd which made me question how the audience would be able to tell the difference between the three bands. I think each of those bands are regulars at Sturgis too. Bleah).

DeSantis’ wife posted a video on November 4th claiming that on the eighth day, God created Ron DeSantis. DeSantis has a huge ego, declaring himself sent by God and all, but Trump claimed that he’s the chosen one. During the 2016 Republican convention, Trump declared, “Only I can fix it.” Trump believes he is a deity and that anyone who considers running for president in 2024 is being disloyal to him. Trump has lashed out at DeSantis and Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin, in case his numbers keep rising with the base too.

Trump isn’t accepting any of the blame for the defeats of his candidates like Dr. Oz and Blake Masters. Instead, he’d rather blame Mitch McConnell. Since Trump can’t blame DeSantis, who won big along with the entire Florida GOP, he’s taking credit for their victories.

Trump claims he created DeSantis’ political career, and it is true that DeSantis took a ride on the Trump train back in 2018. During his first run for governor, he proudly ran an ad of him teaching his child how to build a racist border wall with Legos. Now, Trump is calling him an “average governor” and only a so-so Lego racist border wall builder. Trump also blasted him as Ron “DeSanctimonious,” which really shocked people because “sanctimonious” is a very big word.

And just like the First Commandment, “Thou shall have no other gods before Trump.” Trump is very threatened by all the DeSantis talk. He doesn’t want Republicans praising DeSantis over him…he doesn’t even want DeSantis praising himself. How dare he.

Trump even claimed that he used the FBI to help DeSantis win his first term as governor. Uh, what? I thought politicizing the FBI, Justice Department, and IRS was bad. Isn’t this what MAGA country has been claiming without proof since the FBI served a search warrant on Trump’s gold resort for his stealing classified government documents?

What MAGA ignores is that Trump was always about politicizing the FBI and Justice Department. He tweeted orders for his enemies to be investigated. He fired James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Geoffrey Berman, and Preet Bharara, all for doing their jobs.

Is it true that Trump sent the FBI to help DeSantis win his race? On Truth Social, Trump claimed that in 2018, votes were “being stolen” by a “corrupt” election process in Broward County, which is located in the Miami area, and DeSantis’s lead over his Democratic opponent, Andrew Gillum, was dropping by 10,000 votes per day. 

Trump said that he and then-Florida Governor, and now Senator, Rick Scott, sent the FBI and U.S. attorneys and the “ballot theft” ended immediately, stopping the election from being “stolen.” Scott was on those ballots too as a United States Senate candidate, and he claimed without any proof that the slow count in Broward was allowing for “illegals” to vote. Oddly enough, there were never any arrests of anyone committing election fraud in Broward County in 2018.

There is no evidence that Trump sent the FBI or U.S. attorneys to Florida to stop the vote count, and the Justice Department spokesperson at the time said it “never happened.” The only reason there’s no evidence this ever happened is because it never happened. 

Now when Donald Trump said he sent agents to stop the election from being “stolen,” that means he tried to steal it. And even though he didn’t send the FBI to meddle, this means he tried. This also shows that he’s a huge fan of politicizing government agencies. But we already knew this. He hired William Barr to turn DOJ into Trump’s personal legal defense agency.

We also know that Ron DeSantis is all about politicizing agencies as he’s even fired elected officials in Florida who have dared criticize him, which brings us back to the god complex.

There will be a huge battle between these two racist fascism-loving goons with god complexes. My hope is they smite each other. May they smite each other to pieces.

Music note: I listened to Live.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Hey, Ladies


Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday

I can’t remember the last time I got to draw a crowd scene for CNN.

Creative note: This was roughed out at home, then drawn and colored at Starbucks.

Music note: I listened to the B-52s.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: