Orbital Magnetized MAGA Pants


Cjones06142021

The first thing I thought when I heard Republican congressman Louie Gohmert ask an official of the United States Forest Service if we can combat climate change by changing the orbit of the Earth and the moon was, “Don’t they have their hands full raking forests being set on fire from Jewish space lasers?”

The second thing I thought was, “What a dumbass.”

The third thing I thought was, “Hey, a Republican believes in climate change.”

The fourth thing I thought was, “if he wants to change the Earth’s and moon’s orbits, why isn’t he talking to NASA instead of Smokey the Bear?”

The fifth thing I thought was, “He’s a werewolf.”

And finally I thought, “To combat climate change, a typical Republican would literally rather change the Earth’s orbit than modify his behavior or accept accountability.”

Republicans are stupid, yo. We have Marjorie Taylor Greene believing in Jewish Space lasers and a Satanic deep state eating children. We have Louie Gohmert competing with her for dumbest person in Congress. And then…we have a doctor (a real doctor?) who testified at a state-government hearing in Ohio that vaccines for the coronavirus will…wait for this…magnetize you.

So basically, these vaccines have tracking chips and magnets while also making you immune?

Dr. Sherri Tenpenny, an osteopathic physician, testified as an “expert witness” during a hearing about a bill that will weaken the state’s vaccination laws. She claims, “The shots magnetize people, causing metal objects from pennies to forks to stick to their bodies.” Seriously, I hope you’re washing all that silverware after trying to stick it to your person. Or better yet, buy new stuff to scoop your food with before sticking it in your mouth.

She also said, “I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the internet of people who have had these shots and now they’re magnetized. They can put a key on their forehead. It sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick.” I have NOT seen the pictures “all over the internet” of people doing this stuff.

At that same hearing, someone claiming they were a “registered” nurse defended the doctor, said it’s true and she was an example that could prove it. She stuck a key to her chest and said, “Explain to me why the key sticks to me. It sticks to my neck too.” The key would not stick and kept falling down. You think she’d have tried it at home before the hearing. Anyway, that so-called nurse should definitely be “registered” by some government agency.

This whole conspiracy theory started with the idea Bill Gates was planting tracking chips into the vaccines when honestly, the only person he needs to worry about keeping track of is his wife suing him for divorce.

But, this magnet conspiracy theory has spread like…well, a conspiracy theory. There are even TikTok challenges of people sticking things to themselves. And trust me, if you see a video of someone sticking things to themselves, then it definitely has to be magnets with no other explanations being available like glue…or they’re just nasty by not practicing good hygiene. Also, if your bank and credit cards stop working, it’s probably not the magnets.

But, it’s gotten so crazy that even the Center for Disease Control had to issue a statement debunking the magnet bullshit. Do you remember when the CDC spent most of their time with serious matters? Pretty soon, they’ll probably have to issue a statement saying Louie Gohmert probably isn’t a werewolf. On the whole magnet shit, the CDC said, “No, you fucking fucknuts. Don’t make us come down there and slap you upside the head. Idiots.” No. That’s what they wanted to say.

What they actually said was, “No. Receiving a COVID-19 vaccine will not make you magnetic, including at the site of vaccination which is usually your arm, because the vaccine is free of metals such as iron, nickel, cobalt, lithium, and rare earth alloys, as well as any manufactured products such as microelectronics, electrodes, carbon nanotubes, and nanowire semiconductors that can create an electromagnetic field.” And, Louie Gohmert may or may not be a mentally challenged werewolf.

No, you can’t change the orbit of the Earth and Moon. No, vaccines don’t have tracking chips or magnets. And no, Donald Trump did not wear his pants backwards at last week’s hate rally. Wait, what?

It appears that Donald Trump wore backward pants at that North Carolina hate rally. You know, the one where he continued the lie he won the election and warned that people are trying to destroy the country who don’t have that right…like he does.

But, his pants just looked like they were on backwards. We know this now because the CDC issued a statement….No. We know this because several news outlets hired investigators to spend hours poring over photos and videos of Trump’s nether regions at the event. There’s gotta be a better way to make a living. When they were all done looking at Trump’s crotch, these experts issued their ruling that his pants were NOT on backwards. Why, they even found a zipper in the front.

So, if you’re like Louie Gohmert and currently in orbit around Donald Trump’s ass, that’s probably good to know.

The only explanation for the appearance his pants were worn backwards…which is way less crazy than Jewish space lasers, raking forests, changing orbits, baby-eating deep state, or that vaccines have magnets and tracking chips…is that Donald Trump was wearing a diaper.

Hey, sometimes you gotta poop. Sometimes, that time is while you’re screaming at the sky about winning an election you lost big time and ordering your white nationalist terrorist base to commit insurrection on your behalf. Traitors gotta poop too and sometimes, they like to do it while standing up or walking…or in Trump’s case, waddling.

I don’t believe in the Satanic baby-eating deep state, Jewish space lasers, changing orbits, or the magnets and tracking chips in vaccines…but I can buy into the belief, because he’s full of shit, Donald Trump wears a diaper…

…and Louie Gohmert may be a werewolf. A really, really stupid werewolf.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trickle Clowns


Cjones06132021

Trickle down economics used to be a theory. I say “used to be” because it’s been debunked.

The theory was that lowering taxes on the richest would stimulate the economy. All those savings for the rich would gradually “trickle down” to the poor and middle class. The rich would be all like, “What do we do with all this increased income? I know….let’s invest it in our employees and community, and not spend it on swanky Manhattan penthouses, yachts, and robot dogs.” It’s a theory that was made into an economic policy. The only problem with it as an economic policy is that it relied on greedy rich assholes not being greedy rich assholes. Did the rich hire more people and increase salaries? No. They bought robot dogs.

Ronald Reagan was the first president to implement this policy but it didn’t work. I mean, it did work in that it made rich assholes even richer assholes, but it never trickled down unless the trickle was yellow. But, leave it to Republicans to double down on the trickle down. George W. Bush relied on it with major tax cuts for the rich…while paying for two wars, and Donald Trump gave major tax cuts to the rich arguing it would trickle down. It’s also a shell game when they do these tax cuts because they always lower them for the middle class at the same time…while giving the larger cuts to the rich. In Donald Trump’s case, to himself.

Republicans rely on you being too distracted and stupid from your extra $300 not to notice the rich’s extra $300 million. And in most cases, they’re right. You, as in all of us, are too stupid. I was once talking to the graphic artist at my last newspaper about us having to pay for Bush’s two wars, and his reply was, “So what? I got $300.”

It’s been over 40 years and it’s been proven trickle down economics doesn’t work. Take Jeff Bezos for example. That guy is worth close to $190 billion (with a “B”), yet his tax rate is less than one percent (with a “1”). Warren Buffett has argued for years that taxes on the rich should increase, but between 2014 to 2018, he paid right under $24 million (with an “M”) in taxes on a wealth of over $24 billion (with a “B”).

The typical middle class taxpayer pays a higher rate than billionaires like Bezos, Buffett, Elon Musk, and Michael Bloomberg. A report by ProPublica has revealed these billionaires pay very little in taxes, and sometimes none at all (none, with a “zero”).

The thing is, the United States taxes income, not wealth. Some people, like Senator Elizabeth Warren want to change that. I’m with her. Let’s tax the rich’s wealth. Let’s tax those Manhattan penthouses for mistresses. Let’s tax those yachts. Let’s tax those robot dogs. There should even be a tax for naming your snooty daughter “Ivanka.” If you give me time, I can come up with a list of names that should be taxed. We can start with “Ivanka, Tiffany, and Barron.” We should also increases taxes for boob jobs, face lifts, and rhinoplasty (with an “R”).

Much of the rich’s wealth are in things like shares in companies they run, vacation homes, yachts and other investments, which are not considered “taxable income” unless those assets are sold and a gain is realized. For example, when Derek Jeter sold his penthouse in Trump World Tower for $16 million after buying it for $13 million (both with “Ms”), there would be a tax on that (he was trying to sell it for $20 million, but it took two years to dump it. Even though it had a great view of Manhattan overlooking the Chrysler Building, Empire State Building, and One World Tower, it was still in Trump World Tower). Even then, there are loopholes in the tax code that can limit or erase all tax liability. If you are a billionaire, you pay for the best tax accountants.

President Biden wants to increase taxes on everyone with an “income” over $453,000 a year by two percent. If you’re a couple making $800,000, then you might pay an additional $5,200 a year in taxes That’s a joke, yet Republicans are fighting it. It would reverse the deductions Trump gave to the rich, including himself. But what will raising the income tax by two percent on the 25 richest Americans, who pay less than 16 percent, do other than make them chortle through their teeth? Maybe buy smaller robot dogs? Republicans act as though that two percent increase is aggressive. I’m surprised one of them hasn’t compared it to the Holocaust yet. But in all honesty, it’s still rewarding the rich for being rich.

If you’re rich, congratulations. I’m sure you worked hard to get there. OK, some of you worked hard to get there. OK, maybe fewer than some. A lot of you inherited what you have. And a whole bunch of you screwed people over to get where you are. Donald Trump, for example, did both. This is a guy who inherited his fortune, and refused to pay people building his towers and casinos. Some years, he only paid $700 in income tax…if any at all. If you make $50,000 a year, hell, $30,000, good luck getting away with only paying $700…legally. And I promise that you feel the pinch of paying $700 a lot more than Donald Trump does.

Senator Warren wants to raise taxes on the rich by two percent also…but not on income. She wants to place a two percent tax on wealth over $50 million (with an “M”). This would include stocks, gifts, homes, yachts, apartments for mistresses, towers that have to be bailed out by Saudis, stock in Grey Poupon, robot dogs (I’m not over robot dogs yet), etc. We can call it the “Asshole tax” (with an “A”).

The rich will always be able to find loopholes. They could spread their property out through their children, who may not be worth $50 million yet. And, those kids would still be tax deductions. Can a robot dog own an apartment? Can you deduct a robot dog? I bet one of these rich jerks has tried.

Over the past few decades, the income gap has increased. The rich have gotten richer while the poor and middle class have not. Wages have remained stagnant. And even when they do increase salaries, they pass it to the consumers who will have to pay 36 cents more for a burrito at Chipotle (I don’t get why everyone love Chipotle? What’s up with that? The food’s dull and boring. They can’t even make a decent taco). When companies raise salaries, they don’t plan for it to cut into their profits or wealth. They plan for you to pay it. It’s why some places charge you for ranch dipping sauce. Don’t believe me? Go to Little Caesars. Their pizza pizza can be a rip-off rip-off.

Republicans have always championed the rich and demonized the poor. Even Ronald Reagan went after welfare recipients, often fictionalizing them and describing one as a “welfare queen” (guess what color she was), while we spend double of social welfare on corporate welfare. We want to piss test people trying to feed their children but we’re not making corporate executives being paid millions of dollars, while their companies are collecting welfare, pee in cups. Hell, if an executive can increase the welfare his company receives, it’s probably another bonus where he can buy a new yacht…that won’t be taxed. Senator Warren…put it in your bill that they have to pee in cups.

If we are depending on this nation to prosper only from the generosity of the rich, we’re fucked….with a capital “F.”

Hopefully, after this column and cartoon is published, no rich asshole sends his robot dog to bite me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Space Bezos


Cjones06122021

The richest man in the planet now wants to be the richest man in the galaxy.

Jeff Bezos owns Amazon, Whole Foods, Metro Goldwyn Mayor, and The Washington Post. He also owns a space company, Blue Origin, and will be part of the crew for its first manned space flight. He’s going to beat fellow billionaires Elon Musk and Richard Branson to be the first rich asshole in space.

Bezos’ billions being spent to shoot him off the third rock from the sun is helped by the fact his tax rate is basically 0.98 percent. ProPublica exposed IRS files showing that the 25 richest jerks in this country have a tax rate of nearly zero. Warren Buffett is buying newspapers left and right, tearing them down to almost nothing, reselling them for a profit, claiming he has a passion for newspapers, all while paying as little in taxes as possible. Maybe he should have bought ProPublica.

In this nation, we tax income but not wealth. That means billionaire jagoffs like Bezos all the way down to the poorest billionaires such as Donald Trump, pay a lower rate than you do. It’s estimated that 11.8 percent of Amazon’s workers in Ohio are receiving welfare benefits. That’s just in one state, but all of Bezo’s employees, even those who collect food stamps to survive, pay higher tax rates than their space-bound billionaire boss.

You may think that’s just Bezos and his fellow billionaires paying very little in taxes. But what about their companies? In 2018, Amazon paid zero in federal taxes. Amazon now accounts for over 50% of all online shopping, forcing small and even large corporations to declare bankruptcy. Amazon’s profits increased to nearly 200 percent during the pandemic (I know I helped). On top of that, The National Labor Relations Board this year claims that Amazon retaliated against staffers who raised concerns about warehouse safety by firing them.

I don’t want to hate rich people just because they’re rich, but when a billionaire like Bezos is lavishly spending $25 million on a new Los Angeles mansion, $23 million on a Washington mansion, $17 million on a Manhattan apartment, $500 million on a new yacht, $65 million on a private jet, $42 million on a clock (dude, there’s a clock on your cell phone), and a billion to send his happy rich ass to space, getting a huge tax cut from the Trump administration while not paying taxes, the rich are making it hard not to hate them.

But hey, when you’re such a rich jerk that dogs won’t play with you, do what Bezos does…and buy a robot dog. You can program it to lick your face.

We need to raise taxes on the rich. We need to tax wealth. We need to eliminate tax loopholes. Republicans are fighting for the rich rather than for you because they’re bought and paid for by the rich. We can fix that. From a post I recently saw somewhere on social media: All we have to do is eat one billionaire and the rest will fall in line. It’s not like any of them are a Bruce Wayne or a Tony Stark.

Tony Stark went to space to fight Thanos. I suspect Bezos wants to go to space to become Thanos. I expect his trip to be like Ivanka Trump at Buckingham Palace, a photo-op for a creepy smile peering from a window reminding us just how much better humans they are than the rest of us.

Quite frankly, I think they can be better than the rest of us but they have to go to space to prove it. So, let’s shoot them all into space. We can even save money by not bothering to bring them back.

Spending billions to send yourself to space, when you know you don’t have the right stuff, while your employees are living off of generic Ramen noodles, and you’re not paying taxes, takes some serious space balls.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Sticking Your Neck Out For Thresholds


Cjones06112021

Question: Is West Virginia Democratic senator Joe Manchin naive or just seriously stupid?

Manchin has this idealistic vision of ending partisanship and is trying to build a consensus between Democrats and Republicans. Since the Senate is evenly divided 50-50 between both parties, Manchin can solely block any Democratic legislation. With a 50-50 vote, the vice-president can be the tie-breaker. There is a filibuster rule that generally means nothing in the Senate is going to pass unless it gets 60 votes. I think that would be great if one side didn’t consist solely of lunatics and maniacs.

The problem with the filibuster is that it prevents a lot of good stuff from passing because the other side, Republicans, are a bunch of hateful tribalists. GOP Senate leader Mitch McConnell explicitly stated during the Obama era that his sole purpose was to make Obama a one-term president (he failed). Now, he says the same thing about President Biden. Joe Manchin wants to exercise good faith with people who don’t have any. It’s like the honor policy on face masks with people who don’t have honor.

Manchin wants to trust people like Mitch McConnell, Tom Cotton, Lindsey Graham, Josh Hawley, Tommy Tuberville, Rand Paul, Marsha Blackburn, Cindy Hyde-Smith, Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Ron Johnson, and Ted Cruz, who may be the Zodiac Killer.

Now, with Manchin’s stubborness, an infrastructure bill won’t pass. Even more important, legislation to protect voting rights for minorities won’t pass. Joe Manchin is allowing racists to destroy our democracy because he’s trying to build a consensus with racists.

You can’t trust Republicans in negotiations. Manchin is saving the filibuster to protect Republicans…who totally abused the filibuster…and got rid of it when they wanted to shove legislation down our throats.

Donald Trump praised Joe Manchin for saving the filibuster…even though he encouraged McConnell to get rid of it. And guess what…McConnell did.

Here’s another question: What do Trump cabinet members Rex Tillerson, Steve Mnuchin, Jeff Sessions, Tom Price, Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos, Mike Pompeo, and William Barr have in common? The answer is: None of them received 60 votes for their jobs. But they were all confirmed anyway.

Here’s another question: Which of Trump’s Supreme Court nominees received at least 60 votes in their confirmation to lifetime appointments to the highest court in the land? Warning: It’s a trick question.

The answer is: Zero. Neil Gorsuch got 54, Brett Kavanaugh got exactly 50, and Amy Coney Barrett got 52. You would think there would be a strong consensus that someone receiving a lifetime appointment, that’ll sit on the Supreme Court for the next 30 years, is the right person for the job. Instead, we have three people on the court who barely got enough votes. And Republicans stole two of these seats. You want to negotiate in good faith with those people? With a 60-vote requirement for those lifetime appointments, we could have prevented a possible rapist and a definite cultist from serving on the Supreme Fucking Court.

By the way, President Obama’s nominees to the Supreme Court, Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor, both received OVER 60 votes. His final nominee, Merrick Garland, never got a vote because…wait for it but you already know what’s coming…Mitch McConnell (who Manchin wants to work with in good faith) blocked the vote.

You can NOT trust Republicans except to always do the wrong thing and screw you over. And you can’t trust Joe Manchin.

Mr. Save-The-Filibuster voted for Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh. Manchin voted to give Gorsuch a lifetime appointment despite knowing he wouldn’t receive 60 votes and despite the seat being stolen from President Obama. He voted for Kavanaugh after hearing very credible accusations of attempted rape. Where was Manchin’s precious principles with that one?

Mitch McConnell, the guy who stole Supreme Court seats and eagerly passed Trump bills into laws without 60 votes said, “Senator Manchin almost single-handedly is preserving the Senate as we have always known it, which is a body that requires a supermajority to do most things.” By the way, that tax cut Trump gave to himself and other billionaire assholes passed with 51 votes. Where was the supermajority for that, Mitch?

Another question: How democratic is it when a majority of Americans vote AGAINST Republican Senate candidates, yet we have justices that were only approved by Republicans? Answer: I don’t fucking have one.

You can’t trust these people. And, you can’t trust people who are praised by the people you can’t trust.

After Manchin declared in an op-ed that he would be voting against the House bill to expand voting rights and eliminating the filibuster, Democratic representative Jamaal Bowman from New York called him the “new Mitch McConnell.”

You can’t trust the Mitch McConnell…and you can’t trust the new one either.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trump Tikis Democracy


CNN06062021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Democracy Death Wish


Cjones06102021

During Donald Trump’s speech to fellow fucknuts in North Carolina over the weekend, he claimed he wasn’t the one trying to destroy democracy…he’s the one trying to save it. During this same speech, he attacked our last democratically-held election as the “crime of the century.” That’s like saying you hate fried chicken while ordering a bunch of wings. You do understand wings are part of the chicken…right? Do you understand elections are a part of democracy?

Trump is a false prophet. Do you expect the anti-Christ to show up dissing Jesus? No. That guy’s going to arrive and tell us he loves God and church-bake-sale potato salad more than anyone and will probably say something about two Corinthians. It’s always the people who say they are the most, who really aren’t. It’s like those guys who say, “I’m not a racist, but…”

North Korea is the DPRK, which stands for Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, even though there’s nothing democratic about that dictatorship. On a side note: Next time someone goes on about “socialist” being in the name of the National Socialist German Workers’ Party, the Nazis, ask that dumbass if Kim Jong Un is a Republican because “republic” is in the DPRK’s name.

Donald Trump is not in favor of democracy. He wants to be a fascist dictator like his buddies, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un. He’s telling friends he’s going to be “reinstated” as president, which is something we don’t do. Name one time we’ve ever done that. Explain how it’s done. Point out where it’s covered in the Constitution.

Trump refused to concede the election because fascists don’t concede elections. Name one fascist who’s ever said, “Damn, I lost. OK. I’m going home,” or, “You don’t have Nixon to kick around any more.” Trump is continuing the Big Lie that he won, even though he lost by over seven million votes. He weaponized the presidency and sent terrorists to attack our government to stop the certification of his opponent’s victory.

Just like they’re not really in favor of democracy even thought they claim they are, they’re not constitutionalists either. Sure, they love to spout off half a sentence from the Second Amendment, but they ignore the rest, like they ignore the parts of the Constitution about free speech and a free press. They ignore the part about elections. They ignored the part about Congress certifying the election.

George W. Bush said he looked into Putin’s eye and “saw his soul.” There was a lot to take from that, but the main thing today is that Bush said it over 20 years ago. Vladimir Putin has been controlling Russia for over two decades. That’s not a democratic leader. He’s thrown political opponents into prison (he literally had a pop group thrown into prison for criticizing him. W. could only dream of hard labor for the Dixie Chicks…I’m sorry…The Chicks), had critics murdered, and has changed the nation’s constitution to remain in power. While he has a salary of about $137,000 a year, his worth has been estimated between $70 to 200 billion. He may be the richest man in the world because he considers everything in Russia to belong to him. No wonder Trump has a hard for the guy.

Today, Russians are still conducting cyber attacks into our nation, from gas supplies to our food. Putin will not rest until his puppet is back in power, we have no fuel, and we’re all eating cats.

Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy both initially blamed Trump for the terrorist attack on the Capitol building, but now they’re walking it all back and refusing to allow an investigation into the attack…an attack on democracy.

The MyPillow Guy, he’s advising Donald Trump that he’s going to be reinstated. Fortunately for us, a lot of the democracy haters are former crack heads. And if you have a coupon, that former crack head will give you a second pillow for free after you pay double for the first. I’m NOT making that up.

Michael Flynn, the disgraced general who spent less than a month as Trump’s National Security Advisor and was later pardoned by him, has publicly stated he believes a Myanmar-style coup should happen here. In case you’re a Republican, coups are NOT democratic.

Usually, I’m just trying to be funny with the “in case you’re a Republican” bit. This time, I’m dead serious. In case you’re a Republican, COUPS ARE NOT DEMOCRATIC.

Speaking of treasonous Republicans, they’re seeking to overturn the election in Arizona through fraud. They’re hoping the fraud will catch on to other states that will then overturn their elections…and reinstate Trump. Over 50% of Republicans believe wrongly that Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen by President Biden. A majority of Republicans are in favor or coups, insurrection, and conspiracy theories over democracy. On top of that, Republicans are changing election laws so they can steal power, instead of allowing every eligible voter to add his or her voice.

Republicans love democracy until it works.

Speaking of lunatics, Qanon is a big part of this and these idiots truly believe Donald Trump didn’t just win the election, but that he’ll be reinstated. They keep giving dates for this reinstatement and after those dates pass, they move the goal posts. I keep waiting for them to claim Donald Trump will be reinstated in Schmebuary. When the hell is Schmebuary? It’s a Satanic deep-state secret month that is erased from our memory by Jewish space lasers as soon as it’s over, that has now been exposed to followers of Q. But, Schmebuary is probably some time in the fall or somewhere between January and December. Also in Schmebuary, there are some serious discounts on baby flesh. You pay double for one and you get the second baby for free.

And we have Trump himself who continues to feed these lies to his base (not the discount baby Schmebuary thing…yet. The election lie), furthering division in this nation. He would rather be placed into office than allow democracy to work. Democracy did work and it gave us Joe Biden.

Democracy is under attack and the fuckers above are the main antagonists. Sure, there are co-conspirators like Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and your crazy uncle on Facebook. But they’re enablers. Donald Trump is the main villain.

During his speech over the weekend, Donald Trump said our “country is being destroyed, perhaps by people who have no right to destroy it.” Sometimes, these idiots say the quiet parts out loud.

Does Donald Trump believe he has the right to destroy our country? He must because that’s exactly what he’s trying to do…and he’s getting a lot of help. That’s what democracy-hating fascists do.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Jack Of All Guns


Cjones06092021

I spent about ten hours on this so sorry, you’re not getting a blog.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Roughs, Volume 93


Hey, kids. It’s time to check out a few roughs from the past week. 

CNNrough1231

I liked this cartoon but I did something else on the commission and other issues got ahead of it.

CNNrough1234

I wrote this cartoon Friday before last and it almost went to CNN. I’m kinda glad it didn’t because my CNN cartoons are for their exclusive use, and nearly all my clients used this one. It even made The Washington Post. Go me.

CNNrough1232

CNN did choose a good one, or at least one I really liked. I loved the visual of Mitch’s snaky neck going around the door.

CNNrough1233

I liked this one too but I never finished it.

CNNrough1227

I did finish this one and a lot of my clients used it. It attracted a lot of haters defending Trump too.

CNNrough1230

This was a contender for last week’s CNN newsletter. I gave them a lot to choose from. I may come back to it.

CNNrough1228

The reality this joke is based on is that a lot of MAGA terrorists did have T-Shirts made.

There were a few more but I’m hanging onto to those for a week or so as I may still publish them. Which one of these is your favorite?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Kamala Vs. Yee-Haw States


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The assault on voting rights based on lies and conspiracy theories continues. Now, President Joe Biden has assigned Vice-President Kamala Harris to lead the administration’s efforts to combat Republicans’ efforts to restrict voting.

During a speech commemorating the Tulsa Race Massacre, President Biden said, “With her leadership and your support, we’re going to overcome again, I promise you. But it’s going to take a hell of a lot of work.” It is going to take a lot of work to save this democracy from Republicans’ attempts to destroy it.

Vice-President Harris said in an interview with The Washington Post, “We have to recognize that there are certain people that are threatened by the power of the people.” We should also recognize there are certain people threatened by black women.

Black women saved democracy in 2021. Without black women, Doug Jones wouldn’t have won the Alabama Senate seat (which he held briefly) in 2017, Democrats wouldn’t have retaken the House or the Senate, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris wouldn’t have won the 2021 election, and Donald Trump would still be a wannabe fascist occupying the White House. He’s still a wannabe fascist but now he’s just occupying a shitty golf resort plagued with bedbugs.

Kamala Harris is the perfect choice to lead the administration’s efforts to save democracy from democracy-hating Republicans. They’re afraid of the power of black women…so let’s send a black woman to kick their ass.

They’re creating laws designed to restrict voting among black Americans. This is a response to the large turnout of voters in 2021, not a response to any actual vote fraud. The last time there was enough fraud to overturn an election, it was because of Republican ballot harvesting for a House seat in North Carolina.

Republicans are reducing voting hours and hours of ballot drop box availability. They’re restricting mail-in voting. They’re increasing the power of legislatures (controlled by Republicans) to overrule local election boards. They’re giving oversight powers to partisan poll watchers. In Texas, Republicans targeted the hours black churches would drive their congregations to vote on Sunday, and made it illegal to vote during church hours on Sunday. In Georgia, they’ve outlawed giving water to voters in line.

Michigan is a state Biden and Harris won and has a Democratic governor. State law allows the legislature to petition voters to change a law…and that a governor can’t veto. Republicans are going to petition voters to help them restrict their voting rights. Only a Republican would fail to catch the irony of having voters vote to suppress their rights to vote. I expect liberal Michigan cartoonist Mike Thompson at the Detroit Free Press to catch that irony. I expect MAGAt Detroit News cartoonist Henry Payne, to ask “What’s irony?”

These laws are based on lies and they’re racist. They mimic Jim Crow voting laws that suppressed the right to vote for black Americans. They have been exposed, yet Republicans are continuing with the sham and attack on democracy. Even Republicans who oppose the Big Lie that the election was stolen from Donald Trump are supporting these racist anti-voting laws based on the Big Lie.

Most voters in this nation reject Republicans. Republicans know they can’t appeal to a wider base of voters if they don’t come up with new ideas. Their new idea is to suppress voting so they don’t have to come up with new ideas. As more Americans vote Democratic, the Republican plan to to make it more difficult for those people to vote. If you can’t win a voter’s vote, then outlaw that voter’s vote.

Republicans have no faith in their own message. And now, they’re decreasing their appeal by circling the racist wagons around a failed president like Donald Trump. Usually, when one man loses you the House, Senate, and White House, you don’t rebuild in his image. You find a new one.

Republicans are trying to cut changing demographics off at the pass. They believe if they restrict enough voting in addition to gerrymandering, the fact fewer Americans will vote for them will be a non-factor. But now the factor they have to deal with is the vice-president of the United States.

Republicans can’t compete with Kamala Harris. She’s smarter and better than they are. She’s on the right side of the issues. She’s a former prosecutor who is about to prosecute Republicans’ racism and bullshit in the court of public opinion.

Now, the only answer for Republicans will be to try to find a way to outlaw Kamala Harris.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Gator Reinstator


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First, I’d like to point out I’ve been rocking this blog since 2013. Donald Trump’s blog didn’t last 30 days.

Trump’s blog, “From the Desk of Donald J. Trump,” and touted as a “beacon of freedom,” lasted only 29 days, killed because nobody was reading it. That’s the problem when your base consists of illiterate morons. At least with Twitter, many of the people who followed him weren’t fans, but followed to see what dumb shit he said. They were on Twitter anyway and didn’t have to exert themselves to get their fill of Trump lunacy. Also, a lot of his numbers were Russian bots. A lot of his followers weren’t actual people. It’s kinda like Trump World Tower where Russians bought 65 units that nobody lives in. Weird.

Now, it’s on to the next product, which is a new social media site that his team is promising will be the hottest thing since Trump Wine, Trump Steaks, Trump Airline, Trump Casinos, Trump Toast, Trump Magazine, Trump Board Game, etc, etc.

He ordered his staff to snuff out the blog because it was being mocked. Why doesn’t he do that with everything he does? His entire presidency was mocked…and we’re still mocking him. According to unnamed Trump goons, he hates looking like a loser which is difficult when you’re a loser.

It’s fun to make fun of a lunatic who believes he’s going to be magically reinstated as president this summer. In case you’re a Republican, we don’t do that. We’re not going to use the results of a corrupt recount in Arizona, then tell President Biden to move out so Hair Fuhrer can move back in.

It’s also funny that one of Trump’s top advisers is the MyPillow Guy. It’s not even worth saying his name anymore…and if Trump is reinstated and he brings the pillow guy along as his new vice president, he’ll be Vice-President MyPillow Guy. I hear he can’t wait to get crackin’.

There is a real danger that this lunatic is telling people he’ll be president again, and not from an election, but from some sort of weird non-existent mandate from white nationalists. His followers have already committed a terrorist attack. We’re in danger of Donald Trump sending them back to commit another. One adviser it encouraging a Myanmar-style coup to a base that can’t spell “Myanmar,” and another adviser it talking about a new inauguration day.

So, if prosecutors are not going to charge Trump and send him to prison, for the good of the nation and in the interest of national security, we should let the gators have him. Golf course gators gotta eat too.

Trump’s blog got fewer hits than PetFinder and the recipe site, Delish. I would like to find some gators as pets who may find Trump delicious.

The only way my plan doesn’t work is if the gators have taste. We may have to starve them for a while so their standards get lower and they find Trump appetizing. I’m sorry, that’s cruel. We shouldn’t starve gators.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: