claytoonz

Smearing 1999


cjones01282020

I’m not an advocate for outing people. If someone is gay and they’re not ready to come out, then leave them alone. It’s personal and they know better for their personal situation than anyone else. I’m also not a fan of speculating about someone’s sexuality. I trust people at their word about their own life in regards to what’s none of my business.

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham has dealt with rumors and accusations for years about his sexuality. Washington is a place where a rumor can spread throughout the city for years and even decades before the rest of the nation gets a whiff. Lindsey Graham exhibits mannerisms that many consider being “gay” or metrosexual (which is a straight person who people say acts in a gay stereotype, like being tidy and dressing nice. Go figure). Lindsey Graham has never been married and is a dandy. No, not someone who is gay, but someone who is, well kinda metro. He probably irons his socks. For this, people have been accusing him of being gay for years. I don’t believe Lindsey Graham is gay because he says he’s not.

I don’t think it’s homophobic to accuse Graham of being gay unless you really hate gay people and you’re trying to ruin their party by sending Graham over. But it is rude and invasive. If he was gay, you’re not helping by trying to out him. If you want to fight him on his support of specific policies, then take him on the issues, not what you perceive to be his sexuality. But, accusing someone of being gay is NOT a smear though I’m sure most Republicans believe it is.

Stage actress Patti Lupone accused Graham of being gay last July. She tweeted her disdain for Graham’s support of Donald Trump’s racism when he went after four female Democratic Representatives saying they should “go back to where they came from.” She tweeted, “Lindsey Graham you are a disgrace. On a personal note, why don’t you just bite the bullet and come out. You might just come to your senses.”

Comedian Chelsea Handler tweeted in 2018 that Graham was supporting Trump because the White House was blackmailing him with a gay sex tape. I don’t think that’s fair and I strongly discourage spreading conspiracy theories. Graham’s support for Trump is easily explained by pointing out he doesn’t have convictions, pride, or principles. He’s a Republican. Duh.

Handler didn’t stop there. Last October, she tweeted, “If you’re wondering why Republicans took a sick day today, it’s probably because it’s #NationalComingOutDay. Looking at you @LindseyGrahamSC.” I don’t think that’s entirely fair. Why wasn’t she also looking at Mike Pence?

Representative Ilhan Omar (one of those Trump said should “go back to where she came from”) retweeted someone pondering what “they have on Graham,” and added that he’s “compromised.”

Bill Maher even did a monologue with 24 things you didn’t know about Lindsey Graham which included, “when I was in school, the kids would tease me by calling me ‘Lindsey,'” and “greatest advice my mother gave me was to stop waving my hands when I run,” and “greatest legislative accomplishment is naming a post office after Nathan Lane,” and “I employ over a dozen pool boys even though I don’t own a pool.”

People need to take the high ground and leave Graham alone about his sexuality. He says he’s straight so that means he’s straight. Sheesh! But then again, he also said a president doesn’t have to commit a crime to be impeached and now he says the opposite. Now I’m confused.

Another Graham joke on Maher’s list was, “For Halloween, I went as the Lindsey Graham from the Clinton impeachment.” It was that Lindsey Graham we saw yesterday courtesy of a video House Manager Jerry Nadler played during his presentation during Trump’s impeachment trial. I say that was the version we got yesterday because 2020 Lindsey Graham snuck out of the room.

Why should Graham have been in the room while video played contradicting his position today? He’s already stated that he’s not an impartial juror and his mind is already made up. He even said he doesn’t want to hear “a lot of witnesses,” that “he’s made up his mind,” and he’s ready to vote now. He said all this back in the middle of December. So, I’m trusting that the one witness 2020 Lindsay Graham doesn’t’ want to hear is 1999 Lindsey Graham.

1999 Lindsey Graham was a House Manager (the same job Nadler and Adam Schiff have today) and he was arguing to impeach Bill Clinton. One of the main Republican talking points is that you need a crime to impeach. Ignoring the facts that asking a foreign government to aid your political campaign and extortion are crimes, Republicans argue these articles of impeachment don’t list any broken laws. But according to 1999 Lindsey Graham, you didn’t need any broken laws. 1999 Lindsey Graham argued before the Senate, “What’s a high crime? It doesn’t even have to be a crime. It’s just when you start using your office and you’re acting in a way that hurts people, you’ve committed a high crime.”

Republicans are smearing those who oppose them. Yesterday, Senator Marsha Blackburn questioned the patriotism of veteran Alexander Vindman for testifying against Trump during the House impeachment hearings. Will they start bashing Lindsey Graham? Will 2020 Graham accuse 1999 Graham of being gay?

I don’t want to accuse Lindsey Graham of being gay and add to the rumors, but since he has NOT apologized for voting to impeach Bill Clinton and arguing before the Senate to convict him, I believe he needs to party like it’s 1999 and convict the president (sic) and throw him out of office.

Lindsey Graham is not gay. He’s also not a man with principles or someone who defends this nation against a corrupt president who’s a Russian asset.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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An Idiot Hides Evidence


cjones01272020

We know Donald Trump is an idiot. But at times, it’s shocking just how transparent he is.

Often, an idiot reveals himself without an explicit statement. Like when a racist is too stupid to understand that the black-friend defense reveals they’re a racist, which is something every single Trump supporter does. But rarely do you find one who claims you can’t prove they’re a racist because they deleted all their racist comments from Facebook.

Trump does this at times. Like when he says he’s not a racist because there’s his “African-American,” or when he claims he’s innocent of sexually assaulting a woman because she doesn’t meet his standards. Trump is so transparent that his tell-tell is projection. When he accuses someone of something, it’s usually later revealed he’s guilty of the accusation. He often takes on the childish defense of “I’m rubber, you’re glue,” like he did in a debate with Hillary Clinton when she said he’s “Putin’s puppet.” I’ve written it before and I’ll do so again: I’m half expecting the revelation Sniffy was born in Kenya.

Trump’s defense against impeachment hasn’t been that he didn’t do what he’s accused of. Even Bill Clinton admitted his guilt of an affair. Trump never admits he did something wrong and those who support him are expected to follow his lead.

What Donald Trump did with Ukraine was ask a foreign government to help with his reelection. He asked a foreign government to go after a political opponent. He withheld military aid, approved by Congress, in an extortion scheme. Later, he asked China to investigate his political opponent. Donald Trump rephrases it but he’s admitted to all of this. At the very least, you would think he’d say “oops.” But no, we get “It was a perfect phone call.” No, it wasn’t. Now his fellow Republicans and lawyers have to go out and argue it was a “perfect phone call” and that it’s OK for a president to bribe a foreign government and ask them to meddle in an American election. Notice you don’t hear “no collusion” anymore? That’s because collusion is OK now.

Donald Trump’s administration has ignored subpoenas for documents and directed members of the administration not to respond to subpoena requests since the beginning of the impeachment process. While his lawyers and Republicans argue that he has the right to cite executive privilege, he hasn’t done so in this matter. Executive privilege doesn’t cover everything. It covers specific conversations and subjects, not anything and everything.

During Bill Clinton’s impeachment, his administration provided over 90,000 pages of documents. Even Richard Nixon turned over tapes and documents.

Trump said former National Security Adviser John Bolton couldn’t testify because he might reveal how Trump feels about other world leaders. Does it get worse than calling the Canadian Prime Minister “two-faced,” or Denmark’s Prime Minister “Nasty,” or even Kim Jong Un “Little Rocket Man?” That’s really only how executive privilege works if you’re a mean girl in high school.

Trump was probably thinking about how he felt about world leaders, who are often caught on tape making fun of him because he was at an international summit. He was asked how he thought the impeachment trial was going. In his answer, Donald Trump admitted to withholding evidence.

He said, “So, we’re doing very well. I got to watch enough. I thought our team did a very good job. But honestly, we have all the material. They don’t have the material.” And right then, he gave House Democrats more material to work with. Donald Trump has admitted to obstruction justice.

This would be like Bill Clinton saying he’ll survive impeachment because he paid for dry cleaning Monica’s blue dress, or Richard Nixon saying he won’t get caught because he taped over the Oval Office tapes with Burt Bacharach’s greatest hits.

Trump’s administration has gone from “no quid pro quo” to “get over it.” They even refuse to let the guy who made that admission testify. Now, they’ve gone from “no collusion” to Trump telling George Stephanoplous before this mess began that he’d accept help from a foreign government to “the president (sic) can do whatever he wants.”

Apparently, whatever he wants includes obstruction and concealing evidence. Donald Trump is guilty and a criminal who should be immediately frogmarched into the nearest federal prison with every Republican chucklefuck who’s participated in his corruption.

Donald Trump is an idiot who’s dumb enough to admit his guilt. But with Republicans controlling the Senate, it doesn’t matter.

Creative Notes: I had this idea a few weeks ago. I even posted the rough here. But yesterday, Trump’s comment brought it back with me changing the text. Another creative note: Thanks, Quannah for “Chucklefuck.”

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Midnight Mitch


cjones01262020

I could be wrong as I lost count, but I think Democrats went 0-13 in votes last night/this morning.

Why are the hearings going as late as 2:00 a.m? Why the rush? Originally, Mitch McConnell, who’s acquired the nickname “Midnight Mitch” to go along with “Moscow Mitch” and “Cocaine Mitch,” ruled that the prosecution and defense only had 24 hours, to be presented in two days, for opening arguments. After some Republicans expressed concerns that the rule would make it harder for them to hide the fact they’re helping Trump engage in a coverup, McConnell gave the two sides three days instead of two. Donald Trump’s confusion was how many hours there are in a day (in case you’re a Republican, 24).

This still pushed the trial to go as late as 2:00 a.m. this morning. Keep in mind, a lot of these Senators are extremely old. They’re required to be at their desk, not engage in any conversations, and without any electronic devices. Basically, they’re all doing something in a trial over Donald Trump that Donald Trump could NEVER do.

The biggest arguments have been over witnesses. The Republicans don’t want any. For weeks, we’ve heard that four moderate Republicans may join Democrats in voting for witnesses, but from what we saw last night, that’s not going to happen.

McConnell is hoping Americans don’t pay attention because none of this helps Donald Trump. Proof of that is the fact they don’t want witnesses and Trump’s legal team engaged in spreading huge lies while never arguing for Trump’s “innocence.” Yesterday, Republicans only argued over procedure. Witnesses and documents only prove that Donald Trump is guilty. Guilty of something Republicans spent the past three years telling us was a crime (no collusion), and now are convinced that asking a foreign nation to meddle in our election isn’t a big deal.

Republicans continue to argue that Donald Trump as president (sic) has executive privilege, despite the fact he’s never exercised that during the impeachment. The only privilege Trump has are sycophantic, cowardly Republicans who place cult of personality over country.

McConnell is hoping Americans go to sleep while the trial continues. He already has Republicans sleeping on it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Damn Skippy The Fix Is In


CNN01192020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

This is very similar to the oath cartoon I did last week but in this version, I give them a different oath. It’s an oath where they promise to be corrupt. The trial has started today and Mitch McConnell has already broken his oath.

McConnell wants to ram the entire thing through so that the bulk of it happens late at night, perhaps until 1:00 a.m. He’s hoping Americans stop paying attention. If voters pay attention, it’s not good for Republicans.

It’s not good because the majority doesn’t just want to hear witnesses. A majority wants Trump removed from office. It’s not good for Republicans for Americans to pay attention because they may hear the evidence, and Donald Trump is guilty. Donald Trump should be removed from office. The facts don’t help Donald Trump or Republicans.

Republicans have the majority in the Senate and they still need to fix the trial. They violated their oath before they ever took it.

Yesterday’s cartoon was on Trump goons. In a way, this one is too as each of the 53 Republicans in the United States Senate has chosen to participate in Trump’s coverup. Each of those senators has chosen to be a Trump goon.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Liberal Hack Journalists


cjones01252020

Last week, temporary Arizona Senator Martha McSally screamed at CNN congressional correspondent Raju Manu, calling him a “liberal hack.”

Later, McSally went on Fox News to talk about her harrowing experience of being asked a dangerous question by a liberal hack reporter. The Fox News hosts she chose to talk to about hacks in the media were Laura Ingraham and Sean Hannity. Nobody detected the irony and hypocrisy.

While screaming over it, Hannity said about CNN, “They’re not a news channel. They’re state-run, radical, leftist, socialist TV.” Again, no irony detected. A person has to be smart to catch that.

McSally said to Sean, “I actually thought they understood that they were liberal, that they were a part of kind of helping with the Democrat agenda.” Hello? Irony? Is this thing on?

Now, McSally, the unelected Senator, is campaigning on it. She has an ad on her site asking for at least five bucks. Even the Trump campaign is using it.

In decrying the way she was assaulted by Manu Raju, she said to Hannity, “I was a fighter pilot. This was a choice I made. I did not crumble under their pressure. I have flown A-10s in combat.”

It’s a good thing too that she has that experience in combat so she won’t crumble under the pressure of being asked….”should the Senate consider new evidence as part of the impeachment trial?” Oh my God! How is she still standing? The strength of this woman to continue to carry on despite the brutal beatdown of being asked a question about her job! What will they ask next? The time? How’s the weather? Do you bleach above your upper lip?

Hold your children close tonight and keep Republicans like Martha McSally in your thoughts and prayers because if I know the liberal hack media like I think I do, they’ll ask questions again. Oh, the humanity!!!

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

A Goon Can Dream


cjones01242020

There are a LOT of reasons Donald Trump shouldn’t be president starting with that orange crap on his face and whatever that thing is on his head. I’m not being petty. Anyone who believes that makes him look good doesn’t have the sense required to order a basic cable package less enough to have the nuclear codes.

First off, voting 101 is that you do NOT vote for the candidate endorsed by Vladimir Putin. You would think the entire country would understand that one, but no.

When you list a lot of the reasons Trump shouldn’t be president, like his stupidity, racism, sexism, narcissism, stupidity, pettiness, shallowness, lying, inexperience, stupidity, bullying, temper tantrums, playing to an ugly base, dividing the nation as a political strategy, the corruption, his treason, stupidity, attempts to bribe a foreign nation, and the stupidity (did I mention how stupid he is?), you’re bound to leave one out. I think one that shouldn’t be left out is the fact our president (sic) is a man who hires goons.

You would think after being president and having the Secret Service constantly by his side (poor bastards), that he wouldn’t require the service of goons anymore. But no. He even took one to the White House with him in his personal bodyguard, Keith Schiller. Schiller was very handy for Trump, beating up protesters and telling James Comey he was fired. Now Schiller is a goon for the Republican National Committee.

One of Trump’s other goons was Michael Cohen. Technically, Cohen WAS a lawyer but you don’t want a lawyer with a degree from the Cooley Law School anymore than you want a doctor with a degree from Washington Barbados U. You wonder how many sponges have been left inside Donald Trump. Cohen’s job was to make problems disappear, such as women Trump had sex with that weren’t one of his three wives. Cohen also called schools Trump attended to threaten them not to release his boss’ transcripts despite the fact schools don’t release them. Another gooning task is to set up fake corporations in Delaware to funnel money to Playmates and pornstars so they don’t talk. “Funnel” is a fun word for Goons. Trump goon Rudy Giuliani uses it all the time.

As president, Trump’s goon Rudy Giuliani went to Ukraine to dig up conspiracy theories on Trump’s political opponents and spread nasty rumors about our ambassador. Rudy outsourced some of his gooning responsibilities to other goons, like Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman. No goon collection is complete without at least one Igor. From there, Robert Hyde helped the Trump team with some gooning on the side and stalking Marie Yovanovitch, our ambassador (at that time) to Ukraine.

Robert Hyde is a Republican (of course) candidate for Congress in Connecticut so now you cant actually vote for a goon, which a lot of people have already done with Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, and Lindsey Graham.

Parnas and Fruman were busted and are currently under indictment. Parnas is doing what most goons do when caught. He’s talking. He’s talking a lot and he’s selling out Trump, Hyde, and Giuliani. And Trump is doing what most people do when their goons are caught. He’s denying he ever knew the guy.

Here’s a tip in case you decide to hire a goon: Don’t take photos with them. A new photo of Trump with his goon Parnas pops up every time he denies ever knowing the guy.

For Trump, each person he hires, no matter what position, eventually turns into one of his personal goons. I can’t think of a better example than William Barr who’s been gooning up a storm in the name of Trump. Other significant goons who have engaged in dirty work are his Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, former Energy Secretary Rick Perry, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland. Corey Lewandowski was his campaign manager but he wasn’t afraid to be a goon when he grabbed a female reporter at a Trump goon rally.

Another bad thing about goons is that they’re not the smartest. Maybe they used to be smart, like Barr and Giuliani (I said “maybe”), but you gotta be kinda stupid to take on goon work, especially for the likes of a Donald Trump. Take Rick Perry for example. That fuck is so stupid he forgot what agency he was heading. This isn’t Goodfellas. This is Dumbfellas.

And, you can’t trust anything a goon says, whether he’s on your side or not. We can’t trust everything Lev Parnas says and that’s why we need corroboration, like photos, documents, and other witnesses. It helps that Lev has transcripts and recordings. So, when one goon contradicts the other goon, one is lying and one is telling the truth. While Hyde argues he wasn’t really going to stalk Yovanovitch, he couldn’t stop talking about it and planning out very specific details. With both of these guys talking, it’s like a goon sandwich and you don’t want to get between that.

Goons. You get what you pay for.

Donald Trump is the kind of guy who hires goons. He probably has 20 goons for each goon he throws under the bus. And just like not voting for the Putin-endorsed candidate, you shouldn’t EVER vote for a guy who hires goons.

And, you should especially not vote for a guy who hires goons who himself, is also a goon.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Roughing It, Volume 28


This is last Sunday’s cartoon for the CNN Opinion newsletter. It went from this…

CNNrough534

…to this.

CNN01122020

Here are a few ideas I created as I stumbled on my way to meet another deadline. Welcome to another edition of Clay’s Butcher Shop. It’s gonna get disgusting.

CNNrough536

Sometimes when I look back on an idea like this, I think to myself, “It’s surprising I ever get to a decent enough idea.”

CNNrough535

As you can see, there’s a theme here.

CNNrough533

I figured since we’re blaming Meghan for everything anyway.

CNNrough532

He said this.

CNNrough530

I’m skeptical of all of them. By the way, are we still talking about Iran?

CNNrough529

After a week, I come back to this and I’m all, “I don’t remember drawing this.”

CNNrough528

I was working on including a Cats! joke for two weeks before I finally got it in a cartoon.

CNNrough527

If you don’t get the point of this cartoon, how long have you been a Republican?

CNNrough526

Back to that theme. But with Republicans and Trump supporters, that theme is always hypocrisy.

CNNrough525

I liked this one.

CNNrough523

Again with the Cats!

CNNrough521

I started this one night then canned it for…

CNNrough522

…THIS! I don’t remember what. Maybe something on Cats!

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.