claytoonz

RAMa Lama Ding Dongs


cjones01272019

The Saints got robbed.

With 1:45 left in the fourth quarter, and the Saints on the Rams’ 13-yard line, tied 20-20, facing third-and-10 in the NFC Championship, the Saints got robbed. If the Saints had gotten a first down on the play, they could have drained the time left on the clock, kick a chip-shot field goal, and leave the Rams with very little time to march down the field and tie the game. What happened was, the Saints got robbed.

A Rams player, Nickell Robey-Coleman committed pass interference on the Saints’ Tommylee Lewis. The referees didn’t see it, despite one of them staring right at it. The entire universe agrees there was a blown call. Even the Rams defensive back, Lewis, admitted he committed pass interference. Lewis said that he “wacked his ass” to save a touchdown. It worked.

Now, in what may have been Drew Brees’ last chance to go to the Super Bowl, has been stolen. The Saints had the best regular-season record in the NFL this season, but they’ll be watching the Super Bowl from home.

A Louisiana eye doctor (in case you’re a Republican, New Orleans is in Louisiana) is offering free eye exams to NFL referees. Maybe he should also offer those to Trump supporters.

Trump supporters believe Donald Trump is doing a great job, he’s intelligent, has their best interest as his top priority, and that he’s a classy guy. Most of all, they don’t believe there has been any collusion between his campaign and Russia to win the 2016 presidential election. They don’t believe Putin is wacking anyone’s ass.

Never mind that meeting in Trump Tower with Russians, or at least 16 members of Trump’s campaign had contacts with Russians (and the number keeps rising), or Trump publicly asked them to hack Hillary Clinton’s campaign, or his campaign chairman was giving internal campaign polling data to friends of the Kremlin, the Trumpanzees will tell you they don’t see any evidence.

They don’t see that Trump has never criticized Vladimir Putin, yet he’ll go after Justin Trudeau over cheese prices. They don’t see that Trump wants to remove sanctions against Russia. They didn’t see Trump kissing Putin’s ass in Helsinki (if you’re a Republican, that’s in Finland). They didn’t see Trump taking Putin’s word over his intelligence agencies. They don’t see Trump handing Syria to Putin. They don’t see Trump threatening to pull out of NATO, which is Putin’s greatest wet dream. They don’t see that the FBI was investigating Trump as a threat to our national security and that he may be a Russian asset.

I’m a Saints fan, but I’m a bigger fan of my country. It makes me sad the Saints won’t be in the Super Bowl, but it’s probably not a threat to national security, even with the New England Patriots in the game…again (which was another game full of iffy calls). But, having Trump steal an election with the help of Vladimir Putin is dangerous to our democracy and national security.

Trump sycophants are like Patriot fans. They don’t see Trump’s deflated balls. But, while the refs may need eye exams, Trump supporters need their eyes and brains examined.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

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Hater Dreams


cjones01262019

How long will a racist spend at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial when forced to go? About two minutes.

I can relate. It’s like going to a party you don’t want to go to, or has often been my case in the past, a band’s show. But, you feel you need to make an appearance, so you show up for a little while, engage one or two people in conversations, have a drink, then cut out. If you’re lucky, enough people will have seen you to say you were indeed there in case anyone asks. I mean, how many times do you need to hear the same band cover “Dirty Deeds?”

Normally, when you make the obligatory appearance, it takes longer than two minutes. That’s about how long Donald Trump and Mike Pence spent at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial in Washington yesterday on MLK Day. In their defense, it was cold, nobody was selling hamberders, and they’re racists.

While Democrats fanned out to public events across the nation to commemorate the holiday, the prez and his veep were in and out of the memorial faster than Mike and Karen Pence discovering they had accidentally walked into a gay wedding.

Mike Pence also commemorated the holiday the day before by comparing Donald Trump to MLK.  While on CBS’s Face the Nation, Pence said, “One of my favorite quotes from Dr. King was ‘Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy.’ King inspired us to change through the legislative process, to become a more perfect union. That’s exactly what President Trump is calling on Congress to do.”

Seriously, if Dr. King inspired you to use legislation to create medieval, racist, vanity projects, I don’t think you were listening very closely.

Certainly, Dr. King didn’t inspire Mike’s wife, Karen, to take a job at an anti-LGBT Christian school as an art teacher. Pence is upset over criticism his wife is receiving for teaching at the school that seeks to exclude homosexual and transgender students and staff members because of their “moral misconduct.” How dare people not tolerate their intolerance. If this teaching gig doesn’t work out, she can always apply at Catholic Covington where the students wear black-face at basketball games.

The good news is Pence oozes tolerance when it comes to worshiping a deity who paid hush money to porn stars. He’s a 19th century kind of guy.

What shouldn’t be tolerated is Pence comparing Dr. King to a man who sought to disavow the nation’s first black president with a racist birther theory, was slow to disavow David Duke, protested the removal of “beautiful Confederate monuments,” and approved of the “very fine people” marching with neo-Nazis in Charlottesville.

Trump was a young man during the Civil Rights movement. While Dr. King was protesting the Vietnam War, Trump was avoiding it by claiming he had bone spurs.

While Dr. King said he hopes there comes a day when his children are not “judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” Trump said his daughter has “got the best body” and if he wasn’t her father then he’d probably be dating her.

Dr. King won the Nobel Peace Prize. Trump can’t spell “Nobel Peace Prize.”

Dr. King donated his Nobel prize money to charity. Trump steals from charity.

Dr. King was Time Magazine’s Man of the Year. Trump hangs fake Time Magazine covers of himself in his snooty golf resorts.

Dr. King was defined by civil disobedience and was arrested for it 29 times. Trump says “fire that son of a bitch” when an NFL athlete protests and there should be limits on a free press.

Dr. King said, “We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.” Donald Trump says, “Build the wall.”

One of these men inspired millions to fight for Civil Rights and equality. The other inspires millions to hate and oppress. One of these men asked America to open its mind and the other is telling us to close it.

MLK had a dream to make this nation better. Trump has a dream to make it worse and to get away with Russian collusion, obstruction of justice, tax fraud, and maybe dating his daughter. I don’t want to get in that head.

Mike Pence should stop the comparisons of Trump and Martin Luther King Jr. unless he’s pointing out that one was one of the greatest men in American history and the other is one of the most vilest persons to ever command a podium.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Bully Of A Good Time


cjones01252019

There has been much debate back and forth for who is to blame for the confrontation this weekend at the nation’s capital between Native Americans, students from Kentucky’s Covington Catholic High School, and Hebrew Israelites.

Initially, the majority of angry comments were directed at the Catholic students wearing MAGA hats. After viewing several videos of the incident, the blame lands squarely on them, but also on the Hebrew Israelites.

It’s clear from the video that Nathan Phillips, a Vietnam veteran taking part in an Indigenous Peoples March, attempted to defuse the tension between the two groups. He was walking between the students toward the top of the steps of the Lincoln Memorial when he came face to face with Nick Sandmann, a MAGA hat-wearing student from the Catholic school. Sandmann refused to move and Phillips wouldn’t walk around him.

Sandmann argues that his group didn’t do anything racist or to provoke the Native Americans. In the video, you can hear the students chanting. Sandmann says they received permission from their chaperones to sing “school spirits chants.”

Did those chaperones give them permission to do the tomahawk chop? Did they give one of the students permission to strip to his underwear and jump around like a primate? Do their school chants sound eerily similar to the chants Mr. Phillips was singing? What is his excuse for not stepping aside for an elderly man? While not casting all the blame on his group, I’m not buying Sandmann’s excuse. Just like Donald Trump, he’s a liar. Sandmann is upset that he’s coming off as a creepy little bastard for staring and smiling in Mr. Phillips’ face. Maybe in the future, he shouldn’t act like a creepy little bastard.

Donald Trump, and his “Make America Great Again,” campaign is to blame for this atmosphere. It’s to blame for his followers’ public displays of racism.

Trump has repeatedly exhibited racism by calling Senator Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.” Last weekend, probably out of sheer boredom, he invoked Wounded Knee and Bighorn in another attack on the senator.

Trump is a bully. His specialty is bullying women and minorities. Just like most bullies, he’s a coward. These students are learning from Trump, as they cowardly bullied Mr. Phillips and the other Native Americans while they were in a large group.

MAGA is about making America worse. MAGA represents bullying, racism, hypocrisy, and lies. MAGA bullies get upset over commercials that encourage an end to bullying. MAGA bullies find bullying hilarious. MAGA bullies breed and make little bullies who then go on to national monuments to bully minorities. MAGA bullies chant Trump’s name at minorities because he is such a racist, his name has now become a racist slur.

Kids, the future of this nation, bullying minorities in a racist fashion is not making America great again. The Parkland survivors are the youth who will make America great again. The Covington kids will be another ugly chapter of the Trump era in future history books.

You can analyze the videos all you want to find the bullies, but as soon as someone puts on a MAGA hat, they’ve joined the club.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Venezuela’s Fake President


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This cartoon was published January 11, 2019, in The Costa Rica Star.

The Lima Group is a multilateral body that was created to help solve the crisis in Venezuela. The group, which includes Costa Rica as a member, has denounced and refuses to recognize the election of President Nicolas Maduro.

They claim (and they’re right) that the recent elections in Venezuela are unobserved, unjust and undemocratic, and all fourteen members of the group have recalled their ambassadors.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Women’s March 2019


cjones01242019

Movements work better when they’re built from the ground up, not from the top down. While the Women’s March set records worldwide in 2017, the enthusiasm has died down for today’s marches. While enthusiasm can’t be sustained forever for everything, the leadership of the Women’s March has done their best to destroy it for 2019.

Don’t be mistaken by today’s turnout. Enthusiasm for the women’s movement is at full throttle. The Women’s March 2017, the weekend after Trump’s inauguration led to the #MeToo movement, which led to justice for serial sexual harassers and those who’ve committed assault, which led to a record number of women being elected to Congress and state legislatures.

What have hurt this year’s movement are ties the leadership has to anti-Semitism, specifically to Louis Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam.

Co-President of the Women’s March, Tamika Mallory attended a Farrakhan speech where he said, “White folks are going down. And Satan is going down. And Farrakhan, by God’s grace, has pulled the cover off of that Satanic Jew and I’m here to say your time is up, your world is through.”

While Mallory said she doesn’t agree with Farrakhan’s anti-Semitism, homophobic and transphobic statements, she refuses to specifically denounce and has even called him the “Greatest of all time.” She argues the Women’s March organization believes in “attacking the forces of evil” and not individuals. I guess she didn’t see any of the anti-Trump posters at the last rally. There were at least a couple of them. You can’t fight the forces of evil while refusing to identify the perpetrators.

The controversy has caused the founder of the Women’s March, Teresa Shook, to call for the current leadership to step aside. There has been other fallout.

Groups like EMILY’s List, The National Council of Jewish Women, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and the Democratic National Committee have all pulled their support from this year’s march. Celebrities such as Alyssa Milano and Debra Messing, who have been huge advocates for the women’s movement, have also come out against the march.

Milano said, “Any time that there is any bigotry or anti-Semitism in that respect, it needs to be called out and addressed. I’m disappointed in the leadership of the Women’s March that they haven’t done it adequately.”

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz has also walked away and stated, “Sadly, I must walk away from the national Women’s March organization, and specifically its leadership. While I still firmly believe in its values and mission, I cannot associate with the national march’s leaders and principles, which refuse to completely repudiate anti-Semitism and all forms of bigotry. I cannot walk shoulder to shoulder with leaders who lock arms with outspoken peddlers of hate.”

We desperately need female leadership in this nation. We need more women elected to public office. Women are the greatest champions of diversity and the greatest foes to the divisions of hate and intolerance. We especially need them during a time when the presidency is occupied by a racist, sexist bigot who has committed sexual assault numerous times in the past and went on to boast about it. The leadership of the Women’s March needs to understand we have to oppose all forms of bigotry and oppression, and that includes anti-Semitism. You wouldn’t go to a party with a racist while opposing racism, so why dance with Farrakhan while denouncing anti-Semitism?

The leadership’s inability to denounce the leader of the Nation of Islam is like the Republican leadership’s fear of criticizing Donald Trump. We are better than Republicans. It’s too bad the leadership of the Women’s March is not.

I can assure you of this; the women who are marching today are a hell of a lot better than the organization’s leadership.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Cork In The Union


cjones01232019

Cartoonist note: If you heard the analogy in this cartoon before, it’s because I tweeted and facebooked it yesterday.

In case you haven’t noticed by now, Donald Trump is a man-baby who doesn’t just need approval (why doesn’t The New York Times like him?), he craves adoration. Every cabinet meeting begins with genuflection and the entire room surrendering their dignity.

So, the yearly State of the Union speech before both houses of Congress where the entire room applauds when you walk in and your arrival is announced as if you’re Elvis is like a day of cake, ice cream, Time Magazine covers, and hamberders to Donald Trump. Taking that away from Trump would be a dagger to his ultra-thin whiny ego. That’s exactly where House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck it.

Citing security concerns during the Trump shutdown, Pelosi suggested that Trump postpones or cancel his speech until the government reopens. It makes sense as the speech usually starts about how strong our union is. Naturally, Donald Trump wouldn’t want to lie during a government shutdown…oh yeah. This is Donald Trump.

There is no requirement for the president to deliver his speech in person. It’s more of a tradition, like the president saluting members of the military or releasing his taxes. The requirement in the Constitution is that the president “shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.” It doesn’t even say he has to do it annually (if you’re a Republican, “annually” means once a year). The tradition of delivering it in person was started by President Woodrow Wilson in 1913, which is something Trump probably does not know. It wasn’t even referred to as the “State of the Union” until 1934 when President Franklin Delano Roosevelt used the term.

President George Washington (if you’re a Republican, that’s our first president), did deliver his speech in person, but President Thomas Jefferson ended that, considering it too “monarchical” (if you’re a Republican, that means all king-like and prancy). Every president since Wilson has given it in person at least once except Herbert Hoover (Edit: I messed up and wrote that Hoover was Wilson’s “predecessor” intending to write immediate “successor,” and I even got that wrong. Hoover was two presidents after Wilson. I messed up). The last president to deliver it by letter was President Jimmy Carter in his last year, after being defeated by Ronald Reagan.

A lot of Republicans were angered by Pelosi’s move, because it was brilliant. Until now, the only way Trump could relate to the suffering of government employees not receiving paychecks to pay their bills, feed their families, pay daycare, put gas in their cars, etc., was that he hasn’t been able to go to his swanky, private golf resort in Florida, play golf, let wedding guests pose with the nuclear football, and bilk the government for his stay. He reminds us of this almost daily since the shutdown began. Oh, the suffering. Pelosi just took away the one thing he could look forward to, other than all those hamberders.

Now, Trump has struck back. He grounded military flights for Pelosi and other members of Congress, minutes before they were to leave on a secret trip to visit troops in Afghanistan. On the same day, he allowed a military plane to fly First Lady Melania to that snobby golf resort.

Trump’s move, coming just a day after Pelosi suggested he not give the State of the Union, is petty. Pelosi’s move can actually make Trump more eager to end the shutdown since low approval numbers and starving federal workers aren’t making an impression. It was also negligent since the trip was secret and has put service members in danger that will be transporting and protecting the delegation. It also cost thousands of dollars to cancel it on such an abrupt notice.

Trump, being the petty child that he is, wrote in his letter that Pelosi was free to make her trip on a commercial flight. How nice of him to suggest the second person in line to the presidency take a commercial flight while air traffic controllers aren’t being paid and after he declassified the mission. But then again, Trump doesn’t care about endangering American lives as his “ISIS is dead” comment only triggered the terrorist organization to kill four Americans this week.

I have a suggestion to Trump. Since Pelosi can’t make the trip (and he did visit Iraq during this shutdown without flying commercial), and he hasn’t been to Afghanistan in the two years he’s been president (Obama went four times), he should take her place. He should just be sure to announce publicly when and where he’s going.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

A Manly Cartoon


cjones01222019

Gillette, a company that makes razors and other grooming products released an ad stating they “believe in the best in men.” Right-wing men, who love to project by calling liberals “snowflakes,” have responded by having hissy fits and showing the worst in men.

The two-minute commercial talks about “toxic masculinity” and recognizes its own past in contributing to that atmosphere. It makes a strong case against sexism, harassment, mansplaining, and bullying. Conservatives are quite upset over this because I’m not sure. They’re either in favor of being chauvinistic jerks and pushing people around or their manhood is threatened by such an ad. These are the same people who freaked out last week over a video of a brown congresswoman dancing while she was in college. I have already seen three conservative cartoons outraged over the ad. Yes, they all suck.

Right-wing conservative men are freaking out so much that they’re starting a boycott against Gillette. The ad shows men helplessly repeating the familiar phrase, “Boys will be boys.” A few high-profile dudes, just being boys striving for relevancy, have made their voices heard against the ad.

Actor James Woods, game show host Chuck Woolery, and a male supremacy group, A Voice for Men (which is a certified hate group) have all vowed to boycott Gillette razors. I guess Chuck Woolery will be getting woolier. Piers Morgan (you laughed already, didn’t you?) said Gillette “wants every man to take one of their razors and cut off his testicles.” Not quite.

In case they missed it, the ad is not telling men to vanish, go away, or to “cut off their testicles,” even if Piers could find his. The ad is telling men they’re part of the solution. The new Gillette commercial encourages men to break the cycle of treating women like property, sexual harassment, abuse, the use of violence to solve conflict, bullying, and mansplaining. It’s encouraging men to break the cycle and that is “the best a man can get.” Don’t pass this down to your sons. Don’t pass these expectations down to your daughters.

The ad shows actor Terry Crews testifying before Congress and saying, “Men need to hold other men accountable.” We especially need to hold those accountable who can’t account for themselves.

We believe in the best in men, despite there being those showing their worst and ironically proving the need for such an ad.

If you can’t be an example of the best in men, I hope at the very least, your sons are better than you.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.