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Peachy Information


cjones04062020

If there’s one thing the Republican Party has taught us during this pandemic is that they suck handling a crisis.

To be honest, they suck generally. They give huge tax breaks to the rich claiming it’ll trickle down, which we’ve known was total bullshit since the Gordon Gekko era. They go after poor kid’s school lunches while building tanks in Ohio that’ll never leave a California warehouse. They scream about family values while looking for glory holes in airports. They work tirelessly to restrict abortion while watching children starve and go homeless. They demand poor people pee in cups before they can get welfare while they throw subsidies to Wall Street. They restrict voting for African Americans so they can steal elections. They redistrict to further disenfranchise minority voters. They scream about patriotism while ignoring Russia attacking our elections. They steal Supreme Court seats. On top of all that, they abandon every principle they ever had to support a grifting con artist in the White House and change their party into a massive cult that defends Nazis. Yeah, Republicans suck on a normal day. But now these racist bastards are proving they can’t manage, prepare, educate themselves, or take anything seriously until their own asses are on the line.

Senator Richard Burr told the public not to worry about an incoming pandemic, but was privately telling friends to panic and was selling all his assets in the stock market. That’s how a Republican prepares for a pandemic. Stock up on medical masks and ventilators? Later, but first, dump all your stocks. To be fair though, some Republicans didn’t dump all their stocks. Some invested in medical masks and ventilators.

Donald Trump called it a Democratic hoax and that he had the virus under control. When this nation had 15 deaths, he said the number would start going down. The virus would “disappear” like a “miracle.” He said, “Anyone who needs a test, gets a test.” He said people with the virus should go to work. He blamed Obama for a system that was outdated and for supplies not being restocked, despite the horrible fact Trump has been president for the past three years. If you take over a position and there aren’t any paper clips in your office, you’ll probably order some more paper clips instead of bitching three years later that your predecessor didn’t leave you any paper clips.

Now, Donald Trump says he always knew it was a pandemic. And Sean Hannity claims he never called it a hoax after he called it a hoax. It’s like someone who has his own TV show doesn’t realize it’s being recorded.

Mitch McConnell is blaming the White House’s failure at this on Democrats for impeaching Trump and distracting everyone. Mitch doesn’t realize this is admitting their response is a failure and that they’re incapable of multitasking. Maybe if Donald Trump wasn’t such a shitty human being trying to steal an election, we would have had a president who didn’t need to be impeached.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis refused to close beaches or issue a stay-at-home order based on Donald Trump’s behavior. You have to be an idiot not to realize Donald Trump is an idiot. Don’t base anything you do on Donald Trump unless you’re going for the opposite. For example: When Donald Trump said there wasn’t going to be a recession, that was time to prepare for a recession. Florida has been in the top five among states with coronavirus cases. Yet, DeSantis has been content to sit back scratching his ass while people were cramming the state’s beaches and churches.

Now, we have Brian Kemp, governor of Georgia. Guess what. Being a Republican, he sucks at being governor.

Brian Kemp was the secretary of state for Georgia which meant he regulated his own election to the governorship. He refused to recuse himself and instead, recused thousands of black Georgians off the voter rolls. Surprise! He won the election. And as governor, he followed Donald Trump’s lead at being unprepared and willing to let the people he swore to protect die.

Yesterday, Brian Kemp announced he was finally issuing an order for Georgians to stay at home. What took him so long? He just now found out the coronavirus can be spread by asymptomatic people. In case you’re a Republican, “asymptomatic” means a person with the virus who doesn’t display or feel any symptoms. Kemp said he just found out within the past 24 hours and that the information was a “game-changer.”

Here’s the thing about this: We’ve known, at least officially, that the coronavirus could be spread by people without any symptoms since the middle of February. In all honesty, we knew this since at least January.

Republicans have compared this to the flu, so let’s use that as an example. How many times in your life have you worried about someone giving you the flu before they felt or showed any symptoms? Say you go out with your friend Bucky. Two days later, Bucky is sick. Despite Bucky not displaying any symptoms, you’re worried he gave it to you, especially if you Republican guys were hanging out in airport bathrooms.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN said Brian Kemp not knowing this until a day ago is “inexcusable.” He said, “My kids who go to school in Georgia knew that a month ago.” Of course, they did and not just because their father is Sanjay Gupta. We all knew that. Right?

I knew this and I’m a cartoonist who’s a college dropout. Is it too much to ask that the governor of the great state of Georgia be a little more informed on a pandemic killing people in his state than a college dropout cartoonist?

What’s really bad about this is the CDC (Center for Disease Control) talked about this on a call on February 4th. The CDC is located in…wait for it…GEORGIA!!! It’s in Atlanta (In case you’re a Republican, Atlanta is in Georgia). Where’s the state capital? Also in Atlanta. To be exact (because I look shit up, yo), Georgia’s governor’s mansion is 6.4 miles from the CDC.

It’s not just inexcusable for a governor of a state not to brief or educate himself on this virus, it’s malpractice. There are only two explanations for Brian Kemp’s proclamation of ignorance: He’s lying or he’s really that fucking stupid. He is a Republican so both explanations are possible.

I think for the governor’s safety, we should alert him to more facts. Facts like, don’t stick a fork into an electrical socket. Look both ways before crossing the street. Don’t fill up on salad at a buffet. Don’t pet sharks. Never eat the yellow snow. Don’t lick stripper poles. When picking up some strange, always check the neck. Don’t spit in the wind, don’t tug on Superman’s cape, and don’t mess around with Jim.

And for your safety, don’t vote for Republicans.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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Stay


cjones04052020

The problem with electing a Trump cultist as your governor is that you’re stuck with a Trump cultist as your governor.

When Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was in Congress, he introduced legislation that required the Justice Department to report to Congress whenever any federal agency failed to enforce a law. This was in 2014 and a swipe at the Obama administration. It failed and he didn’t bother to reintroduce it during the Trump administration. I wonder why.

After Trump was in office and inflicting his corruption and con job on America, DeSantis voted in favor of a bill to strip all funding from the Mueller investigation. DeSantis adopted the Devin Nunes platform of protecting Donald Trump at all costs, no matter what he was accused of or how much evidence was apparent. For DeSantis, it’s Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. He was also a member of the Fucknut Caucus, but they prefer to call it the “Freedom” Caucus.

When DeSantis ran for governor, he was endorsed by Trump and based his campaign on being the most fucknutty of all the fucknut Republicans in the primary. He ran commercials where he was teaching his children to say, “Make America great again” and building a racist wall out of lego blocks. He dressed his infant in a MAGA jumper in these commercials (which, I am assuming, was soon full of shit). He read “Art of the Deal” to his kids to prevent them from becoming intelligent adults. When asked, he couldn’t find one issue where he disagreed with Donald Trump.

Donald Trump had become a kingmaker in conservative politics, changing the Republican Party into the Donald Trump cult, and DeSantis became further proof of that after he won the primary. His credentials didn’t matter on statewide topics. All that mattered was that he burrowed deep up Donald Trump’s ass. In fact, he’s burrowed so deep up that ass, he allowed Floridians to die.

Governor (sic) Ron DeSantis refused to issue a stay-at-home order as other governors in the nation have done. Florida isn’t like Nebraska, where there are only five cases of coronavirus (detected so far). Florida isn’t even in the middle of states with verified cases. DeSantis is governor of the state with the fifth most cases. There are nearly 8,000 cases at this time and 100 deaths. Florida is the third-most populous state in the nation and it’s a contender to lead in coronavirus deaths.

Despite the rise of cases in Florida and the rest of the nation, DeSantis refused to declare a state of emergency. While all the other states with high cases of the coronavirus were implementing lockdowns, Florida went to the beach. Literally.

He refused to shut down the state as spring breakers stormed the beaches. He refused to shut down the beaches. He refused to issue a stay-at-home order, like New York and my state of Virginia have done. Here in Virginia, we have around 1,500 cases (and 34 deaths) yet our governor has taken it more seriously than Florida. Maybe that’s one reason we have fewer cases.

Why didn’t Ron DeSantis act sooner? Because he’s a Trump cultist.

It’s bad enough regular morons live and breathe everything Donald Trump says and then end up dying because they ingested fish tank cleaner after Dear Leader said something about chloride beating the virus. But a governor shouldn’t put his entire state at risk because of the stupid shit that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth.

Ron DeSantis should be serving the people of Florida, not just the Trump cult less enough, one person. Of course, that one person is Donald Trump.

DeSantis finally issued a stay-at-home order. What took him so long? Donald Trump didn’t take the virus seriously so the governor of Florida didn’t take it seriously. This is not my viewpoint. DeSantis said so. He explained his order by saying, “”When you see the President up there and his demeanor the last couple of days, that’s not necessarily how he always is.” Usually, he’s just racist and stupid. Before the order, he said he was following the White House on how he should proceed with the state.

Donald Trump spent a month denying and downplaying the virus. Governors like DeSantis, like their Dear Leader, put their citizens’ lives in danger.

Donald Trump boasted about banning travel from Europe…well most of Europe. He ignored the fact that people in the U.S. can cross state lines. So while one state has a lockdown, their neighbor may not. This doesn’t stop a virus. DeSantis has been unable to see that counties also have borders that people are free to cross.

The urban areas of Florida, where people tend to be more educated and less fucknutty, issued stay-at-home orders. But because their governor is in servitude to a fucking moron, he allowed the rest of the counties to carry on as if it was business as usual, thus infecting the entire state.

Florida isn’t the only state where the governor is willing to let his citizens die because of the way Donald Trump has behaved. Alabama, Texas, and Mississippi are still running wild. The governor of Mississippi’s biggest act to fight the virus is to pray for God to give Donald Trump intelligence. The governor of Mississippi does not have any intelligence.

Like Donald Trump isn’t qualified to handle a pandemic, neither is Ron DeSantis. The Florida Governor wants to be like Donald Trump. Congratulations, Ron. You suck just as much as Donald Trump. DeSantis, like Trump, was slow to react to the virus. He would rather serve the cult than serve his citizens. He would rather you die than upset Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has proven he shouldn’t be president and Ron DeSantis has proven he shouldn’t be Florida’s governor.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

MyPillow Facetime


cjones04042020

There’s been a lot of debates over whether the networks should broadcast Donald Trump’s daily press conferences on the coronavirus. While there is pertinent information provided with these conferences, the majority of the time, they’re just replacements for Donald Trump’s hate rallies where he and everyone else speaking praises Donald Trump. But one aspect there should not be any debate over is that these things don’t have to be infomercials for companies whose executives are Donald Trump campaign supporters.

Seriously, I don’t need to see a free commercial for MyPillow in the middle of the day on CNN, who thankfully cut away during his segment at the daily hate rally. Mike Lindell, the CEO of the pillow company, gets enough advertising on Laura Ingraham’s show (where he increased his advertising after other companies dropped out after she attacked school-shooting survivor David Hogg.

Lindell was at Trump’s Monday press conference because he says he’s donating 75% of his company to producing face masks and will soon be kicking out 50,000 a day. I’m not sure what he’s not being paid for this but I’m sure he’s not doing it for free. Lindell’s appearance with other executives was to bolster Trump’s argument that he doesn’t need the Defense Production Act to have companies help fight the coronavirus. But if the kind of people helping out is people like Mike Lindell, I’m not going to be enthusiastic.

Mike Lindell says he’s going to make 50,000 face masks a day. It’s not that I think Lindell is lying, but it’s not like I believe him either. Why wouldn’t I believe a fine, upstanding Christian who throws his Christianity in everyone’s face at every opportunity (Seriously. He did it at the press conference too). The reason I don’t believe Mr. Lindell is because he’s a Trump supporter.

First off, he praised Donald Trump’s response to the pandemic. That right there tells me you’re he’s full of shit. Lindell has said Trump is the “the most amazing president this country has ever seen in history,” which he said before Trump was president. He’s a conman who settled a lawsuit with several California counties over false advertising that his hate pillow cures things it doesn’t cure. The Better Business Bureau gives his company an F rating for a scam it ran about where you buy one pillow and get another for free…which was actually just the regular price. It was basically: Pay the regular price twice and we’ll throw in another pillow. Old conservatives who watch commercials at 2:00 AM on Fox are real suckers for that kind of shit.

Lindell wrote an Op-Ed for the Duluth News-Tribune in 2018 stating, “After more than 500 days with Donald Trump as our president — with record-low unemployment and a booming economy — it’s clear, Minnesota, that we can rest easy.” Then, he laid off 150 people. Hey, MyPillow guy…how many people did you lay off during the Obama presidency?

Praising and supporting Donald Trump tells me you don’t care about honesty or that someone’s a pathological liar and a conman. When you do that it tells me you’re probably one yourself and nobody should ever purchase your products or go into business with you, especially the United States government at the behest of taxpayers. Mike Lindell is going to produce 50,000 face masks a day? I’ll believe it when it actually happens and it’s verified by a third party. On top of that, I want to see the contract. What are we, the taxpayers, paying for the MyPillow face masks? Hey, Mike. How about when you make 50,000, you give us 25,000 for free?

On another note, MyPillows has horrible ratings at Amazon. It’s a crap pillow that someone filled with chunks of foam that reviewers say makes a big crunching sound when you lay your head on it. Our medical professionals would probably be better off wearing Dr. Birx’s scarves than Mike Lindell’s face masks.

Mike Francesca, a New York sports disc jockey and a Donald Trump supporter, went after Trump for having Lindell at his press conference. He said, “Hospitals don’t have the supplies they need. So don’t give me the MyPillow guy doing a song and dance up here on a Monday afternoon when people are dying in Queens! Get the stuff made! Get the stuff where it needs to go and get the boots on the ground. Treat this like the crisis it is.”

The song and dance is exactly why Lindell was there. These daily briefings are more about praising Trump for doing a horrible job than they are about providing a nation in crisis with valuable information. And Lindell did exactly what Donald Trump wanted him to do, which was to go balls-deep with the sycophancy.

Lindell preached, “God gave us grace on November 8, 2016, to change the course we were on,” talking about the day Donald Trump was mistakenly elected. He continued, “God had been taken out of schools and lives. A nation had turned its back on God. I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the Word, read our Bibles and spend time with our families. With our great president, vice president and this administration and all the great people in this country praying daily, we will get through this and get back to a place that’s stronger and safer than ever.” That’s some serious cult worship. Keep in mind, this guy smoked a lot of crack cocaine back in the day.

Many in the press mocked him, like MSNBC’s Ali Velshi who tweeted, “Trump just called the “My Pillow” guy up to the podium in the Rose Garden. You cannot make this stuff up.” Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld (who’s their idea of a funny guy) tweeted a reply, “When you start producing 50 thousand masks a day you can go up to the podium too In the meantime sit on your fence and keep your thumb up your ass.” See? Fox News funny. And again, don’t believe he’s going to produce 50,000 face masks a day just because they say he is. We’ve had three years of this. When will you start learning from experience?

Conservative radio host Larry O’Connor got upset and tweeted that the critics are “ungrateful jerks” and need to “STFU” about him. I really hope he sees this cartoon.

Logan Hall of the right-wing propaganda hate site wrote, “The MyPillow guy has done more to combat the spread of coronavirus than 99% of the blue checks whining about him.” Again, how do you know he’s done more and…what’s a blue check? Can I get one?

Lindell himself got upset over the criticism. Like Trump, he doesn’t believe he receives enough appreciation. He went on Fox News where Lou Dobbs played him a tape of MSNBC’s Chris Hayes saying, “Seems crazy that everyone’s still taking these briefings seriously when you have the MyPillow guy getting up there talking about reading the Bible.” Lindell replied, “I heard Jim Acosta attack me too, and he was 10 feet from me, in the Rose Garden. This is just evil, Lou. This is evil.” How far should one be from you before attacking so it’s not evil? But hey, 10 feet is better than 6 so you’re good.

He continued whining and supporting his cult with, “This president has been the best man in charge for such a time as this; it’s just those newscasters, those journalists, we know who they are… CNN, what they did to me, I’m sorry, I put on a message of hope to the country that God had given us grace in November of 2016, a nation that turned its back on God, and right now we’re part of this big revival.” Feel free to pause if you need to vomit. And again, praising Trump, grace from God, crack cocaine.

The MyPillow guy summed up with, “I am appalled by the journalists that I see there. I used to think that, they are not that evil, yes, they are.”

Wow. Maybe Mr. MyPillow guy will think I’m evil too after seeing this cartoon. Am I evil? Well if standing up for my nation against the attacks of Donald Trump and all those who are in his cult like the MyPillow guy, then as Diamond Head sang, “Yes, I am.”

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Cashing Thank-Yous


cjones04032020

It’s important that we thank people but it’s not important that you get thanked. Do you understand this? It’s like this: It’s more important to give than it is to receive. Got it? Even my Republican readers? Probably not, but here we go.

Being thanked and appreciated is important to all of us, but it’s really important to Donald Trump. He’s like the six-year-old that only invites people to his birthday so he can rub it in their faces, forgetting that everybody has birthdays. At his party, he has to be the one to pop the pinata (metaphorically here as he wouldn’t have anything Mexican at a party). He has to have the most cake (not metaphorical).  Donald Trump craves adoration and recognition to the point that a psychiatrist would leap out a window. It’s why he hates The New York Times so much. He wants to be recognized by elites and sophisticated people as one of them, but he’s stupid as fuck all.

The other thing is, Donald Trump wants to be rewarded, thanked, and given recognition for shit he didn’t do. It’s like the economy. Trump supporters give him credit and thank him for fixing a “broken system” and a “mess” he inherited. Never mind the fact that Obama pulled us out of a recession that the last Republican president created. Never mind the fact Obama created more jobs in his last three years than Donald Trump did in his first. Never mind the facts we’re headed for a recession now, no president has ever had over 3 million people file for unemployment in one week like Donald Trump just accomplished, or that it’ll be another Democrat pulling us out of another Republican recession. Fact. Fact. Fuckity Fact. Fact.

Trust me on this. Donald Trump isn’t capable of bending over and pulling up his own socks less enough pulling us out of a recession.

And Trump’s supporters are totally gaslighted. One of the fucknuts commented on my video yesterday, literally thanking Donald Trump, for the FDA approving the use of a malaria drug to combat covid19. That is cult worship. Never mind the fact that the last time Donald Trump mentioned a drug with “chloride” in the title, one of his stupid followers died ingesting a chloride fish tank cleaner and his wife is in critical condition. That’s some Jim Jones shit there. Yeah, thank Donald Trump for that, dingus.

Now, it’s come up that Donald Trump wants his signature on the checks being disbursed as part of the $2 trillion stimulus package. What do you want to bet when the deficit is still huge after he leaves office, that Republicans refuse to acknowledge his signature signed off on that?

Here’s a fact Trump supporters and Republican shitweasels don’t know because it’s a fact: The president, even when that president is Donald Trump (sic), doesn’t allocate spending. At least, he’s not supposed to (though he’s fighting in the Supreme Court to change that).  Congress allocates spending. Nancy Pelosi has more control over what money goes where than Donald Trump. If anyone’s name should be on the check, it’s Pelosi’s or even, ugh…Mitch McConnell’s signatures.

But, Donald Trump wants his signature on the check. Why? Because it’s a great campaign tool. If you’re in the cult now, wait until you literally get a check with Donald Trump’s signature on it (but then again, they may not cash it because they’ll want to frame his signature). And just like money from the Trump Foundation that actually went to legitimate charities (when it wasn’t used to pay off legal fines, purchase Trump portraits of himself, or bribe ditzy blonde Florida Republicans), it’s a check bearing Trump’s signature that isn’t from his own money.

We are getting a check from our own money with his signature on it. And we’re supposed to thank him?

Donald Trump is using taxpayer money, increasing our debt, as a campaign tool. Will it happen? Yes. He’s already done it with the Center for Disease Control guidelines that went out last week. His name is on the envelope and presents it as “President (sic) Trump’s Coronavirus Guidelines For America.” Never mind the fact that “President” (sic) Trump isn’t following those guidelines for himself.

How does one even have the gall and lack of shame to broach the subject of putting his signature on the check? Does it start with, “So…what signature will be on those checks?” I doubt it. I’m sure it’s something else Donald Trump demanded, like at every meal when he has two scoops of ice cream and everyone else has one.

What’s more disgusting about this than our money going to help promote his orange stupid ass, and more disgusting than his cult will thank him for sending them a check, and even more disgusting that these are the same fucks who scream about Bernie promising “free stuff” turning us into a socialist nation like Venezuela, is the fact that Donald Trump is the last person who should be thanked for anything accomplished against the coronavirus. That’s like thanking Herbert Hoover for pulling us out of the Great Recession (why not? He was a Republican).

This is a man who failed to prepare for it and instead, denied and downplayed it. He even called it a conspiracy and hoax being used against him by his enemies. Now, he says he always knew it was a pandemic (go watch my video).

Donald Trump wants a thank you…for a job he didn’t do. In fact, he wants to be thanked for failing. But thanking Donald Trump for his response to the coronavirus…

…That’s a check Donald Trump’s ass can’t cash.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Trump Pandemic


It’s not an animation, one of my videos to “watch me draw,” or a print cartoon. It’s something else. Catch the premiere today at 2:00 PM EDT.

Update: I canceled the premiere and it’s live now. Enjoy.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Pandemic Priorities


cjones04022020

Did you hear the great news yesterday about the coronavirus? No, we haven’t reached the peak yet. No, the numbers of cases and deaths aren’t going down. No, we’re not going to be open and hugging each other by Easter. The great news is….drum roll please…

…Donald Trump’s stupid press conferences are getting great TV ratings. They’re terrific, outstanding, “astounding!” They’re yuge! They’re so big, Snickers wants to start sponsoring them (I made that up. Don’t call and scream at Snickers).

The New York Times published an article on whether or not networks should run Trump’s daily press conferences because of the high risk of him spreading false information, lies and in general, Trump bullshit. People dying because of Trump’s lies? Donald Trump is the new honey badger and he don’t care.

Donald Trump, shockingly (insert eye roll here), totally missed the point of the article and only noticed the details about his ratings. He tweeted about the ratings…five times. Five. Fucking. Times.

He referred to them as “astounding,” and compared his numbers to Monday Night Football and The Bachelor finale. First off, let’s point out one detail we’re all painfully aware of: Everybody is the nation is home running out of things to do. It got so bad, that last night, I nearly watched The Talking Dead, which is the same format networks use after Trump’s conferences.

The Talking Dead comes on after The Walking Dead and they spend an hour talking about the show you just watched. Yes, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds but at least they don’t have to fact check it. The networks, except for Fox News, have to fact-check everything Donald Trumps says. Also, there are more deaths after a Trump press conference than after The Walking Dead.

These press conferences are important because they do present real and accurate information. Rarely while Donald Trump is talking but it’s in there. The problem is, everything you need to know from these daily briefings can be presented in about four minutes. Unfortunately, since he can’t hit the road and conduct hate rallies in front of thousands of racists with misspelled T-Shirts about grabbing women by their pussies, Trump gets it all out in the White House press room. Donald Trump will spend about an hour, or more, taking a crap with his mouth.

Donald Trump will say things at these press conferences that have to be fact-checked, not just by the news, but by his own people. Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx, when they’re there, are risking catching the coronavirus by standing close to Donald Trump and sharing a microphone with him in order to clarify his bullshit. The shit Donald Trump has said isn’t just a little reckless, it’s killed people. Right now, the networks need to shut him down before he kills again.

It’s important that we get these briefings. It’s not important to hear Donald Trump talk about his greatness for an hour. I suggest the networks continue with their regular programming until they start taking questions.

Why? Because when Donald Trump takes questions, he reveals what a true idiot he is. He reveals his racism and pathetic ugliness. Yesterday, he had a microphone stripped away from a reporter for asking the wrong question. The networks should also cover when the specialists speak, just not the boy who needs special attention. After the briefings, we can get all the highlights. It’s not important that we watch Donald Trump’s diarrhea of the mouth in real-time.

Dr. Fauci told CNN yesterday that the coronavirus could kill between 100,000 and 200,000 Americans and infect millions of people. Also yesterday, more refrigerated trucks arrived in New York City to handle the expected overflow of bodies once the mortuaries are filled. Donald Trump didn’t tweet about that. He tweeted about his TV ratings.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Cuomo Vs. Trump


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been criticized throughout his political career for being blunt and too direct. During a pandemic, that’s an asset.

Cuomo’s daily press conferences are carried live by CNN. You don’t have to be a citizen of New York to find his briefings helpful and informative. What he’s laying out is important to everyone in the nation. Andrew Cuomo is the right man for the job at this time. Then there’s Donald Trump who is the wrong man at the wrong time.

Donald Trump has always been the wrong man. He shouldn’t be president and he’s only in the White House because all the stars aligned in all the wrong places at all the wrong moments. It’s sucked to watch him disparage the office with his actions and behavior. It’s been painful watching him make lifetime appointments to courts with fucknuts, racists, troglodytes, and rapists. It’s been embarrassing watching a president tweet at Saturday Night Live, Meryl Streep, and Gold Star families over petty issues. It’s disgraceful to watch him attack allies while praising dictators. It’s been humiliating for a nation to watch a president open his mouth and confirm his stupidity, ignorance, sexism, and rank racism to the entire world. Now, his fawning over himself and protecting his petty ego is killing people.

While the nation needs to watch Andrew Cuomo’s daily press conferences, it should ignore Donald Trump’s. At one of these conferences, Trump yelled at a reporter for asking if he had a message to Americans who are afraid. At another, he heckled a reporter for Bloomberg News over Michael Bloomberg’s failed presidential campaign. He asked how Bloomberg was doing. I think it would have been worth that journalist losing his White House credentials by replying, “He’s still richer than you.” It doesn’t bother Trump that people are dying, but it bothers him that Bloomberg, or anyone else, is richer than he is.

Donald Trump has lied, downplayed, and been in denial over the pandemic. Today, he boasted about the ratings of his press conferences. He shouldn’t be looking at his ratings numbers. He should be looking at the number of deaths.

Soon, the United States will have more deaths from this “Chinese” virus than China. In case you’re a Republican, you already know the coronavirus originated in China because Donald Trump has called it the “Chinese virus.” Being racist yourself, you’ve joined in and have also called it the “Wuhan Virus” and “Kung Flu.” What you probably didn’t know is that China has more people than the United States. We shouldn’t have more deaths from this virus than China.

Andrew Cuomo has taken responsibility. Donald Trump has stated he refuses to take any responsibility. Donald Trump wants everyone to thank him for his job performance with the coronavirus.  For every single death in the United States, Donald Trump is responsible. We can thank him for that.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.