claytoonz

Gassy Republicans


Cjones05152021

While chomping on some two dollar street tacos last night at a nearby Mexican restaurant, I was thinking about the gas shortage. It’s the thing everyone is talking. A couple of guys near me and the bartender were talking about how bad the lines were getting here locally, despite the fact there really isn’t a gas shortage.

DarkSide, a brand new criminal gang from Russia that may be Eddie and the Cruisers or Darth Vader fans, conducted a ransomware hack into Colonial Pipeline, which flows nearly half the gasoline for the eastern United States. Immediately, people started freaking out and forming long lines at gas stations, filling tanks, cans, and even barrels (one photo circulated of someone putting extra gas into freezer bags).

Immediately, conservatives started blaming President Biden, comparing him to President Carter, and demanded that our nation have energy independence.

There was a supposed gas shortage in 1979 due to the Iranian Revolution. Gas prices shot up here in the United States despite the fact at the time, we only got five percent of our oil supply from Iran. We were exporting more oil in 1979 than importing (In case you’re a Republican, “export” is when you send out and “import” is when you bring it in). Global supplies only decreased by four percent. It’s funny Republicans are mentioning Jimmy Carter when talking about a 1970s gas shortage, because it also happened in 1973 (In case you’re a Republican, 1973 was in the 70s) when Richard Nixon, a Republican, was president. This was due to an embargo by OPEC, holding up oil imports to nations supportive of Israel in the Yom Kippur War. Because we did not have energy independence, we had long gas lines. Oil shot up from $3.00 a barrel to $12.00 a barrel. Today, oil is around $64.00 a barrel.

According to yokels on social media, gas went up ten cents a gallon at the pump yesterday. Let’s say your car can hold up to 13 gallons of gas. In case you’re a Republican, that would add up to $1.30 more than you would normally pay.

In 1990, oil prices shot up from $17.00 a barrel to $36.00 after Saddam Hussein invaded fellow OPEC member Kuwait. Oil production did decrease but we never had an actual shortage. Western oil companies should have sent Saddam thank-you cards and bouquets for that one. And while we didn’t actually run out of gas, the short spike in prices contributed to the recession that made George H.W. Bush a one-term president. Maybe Bill Clinton should have sent Saddam a bouquet.

Now it’s happening again. People are freaking out over this hack even though oil hasn’t been disrupted. There is no shortage and there is no decrease in the flow along the eastern seaboard. But people are rushing out to make gas 2021’s toilet paper.

If only we had energy independence. Oh, wait. We do. Don’t you Republicans remember praising Donald Trump for making us energy independent? That means we get most of our energy from ourselves. Even before we achieved independence from foreign nations, we received very little oil from the Middle East. Most of it came from Canada. But Donald Trump was taking credit for making us energy independent and the GOP was heaping praise on him for it. Only thing is, we achieved energy independence during the Obama administration. Whoops. But that’s OK. Republicans LOVE taking credit from a Democrat and giving it to a stupid racist Republican who can’t spell “energy independence.”

Hey, Republicans. Another good way to achieve energy independence would be to decrease our need for oil. We could always increase green energy and all start using electric cars. I know. You still think wind turbines freeze in Texas. But wouldn’t your monster truck look badass with a wind turbine mounted on the hood?

It’s also funny Republicans are blaming President Biden. While Obama was president, Republicans were critical of him because they thought he was slow cleaning up their economic mess. How many times did you hear, “Slowest recovery ever” from the Party of No? Then, Trump waddles into office, with help from Russia, and Republicans start talking about the “economic miracle” he inherited. Except, they never mentioned he inherited it. Then, Trump watched the economy tank from a pandemic he politicized.

Now, Republicans are blaming President Biden for Trump’s mess. They’re screaming about jobs and inflation, a situation that started under Trump. And they get to go after him for long gas lines from a hack inflicted by Donald Trump’s friends. Somebody should call Donald Trump and ask him if he sent the hackers…because he has a history of sending goons to attack the United States.

Republicans probably don’t have time to ask Donald Trump about sending more terrorists to attack our nation because they’re too busy destroying Liz Cheney for criticizing Donald Trump for sending terrorists to attack our nation.

There’s also irony in that Liz Cheney is being punished for taking a stand, stating the truth that the election wasn’t stolen, and the Republicans are doing it with a secret vote because they’re all too cowardly to take a public stand.

People, these gas lines will be gone next week. There is not a gas shortage. But, if you run out of gas, there is a real problem because there are fuckers out there stocking up for a shortage that doesn’t exist. How much are you willing to bet that the people hoarding gas, filling tanks, barrels, cans, and even Ziploc guy, are all Republicans?

Creative note: Last week, my first idea on Liz Cheney involved her being burned at the stake. Then I realized, other cartoonists would do that same idea. It’s kinda lame. And then, other cartoonists did the same idea. They also had her hanging on walls and walking planks. It’s why I don’t go with my first idea. Then last night, I thought this would turn the burning-at-the-stake idea on its head.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Foxitus


Cjones05142021

The white nationalist Trump terrorists who attacked our nation’s Capitol building to violate a democratically-held election and to re-install Donald Trump through a bloody coup attempt have all turned out to be sissified cry babies abdicating their own responsibility.

Donald Trump was responsible for the white nationalist terrorist attack on the Capitol. He’s responsible for the six deaths and injuries to over 100 Capitol Police officers. He spread lies for weeks that he won the election and it was stolen from him. He told his MAGA goons to be there on January 6. They were there on January 6. Before the attack, he told them to march to the Capitol and overturn the election. But he shares blame.

The people who attacked the capitol, Nazis, Proud Boys, One Percenters, Oath Keepers, Klansmen, and Fox News viewers were adults. Even the guy who brought his mommy with zip ties is an adult. They are responsible for their actions. Al Qaida and ISIS are a bunch of terrorizing, Jihad-seeking mother fuckers pledging death to America, but you don’t see those guys crying that bin Laden made them do it. The Qanon Shaman had his mommy go to court to plead with a judge that her son can’t eat jail food. That’s some serious white privilege.

Several of the attackers have since changed their minds and are now blaming Donald Trump, as if they couldn’t think for themselves. Did it take jail to detox from the MAGA cult?

But they’re not just blaming Donald Trump. They’re blaming Fox News. These terrorists are responsible for their own actions, but Fox News shares blame. They aired Donald Trump’s bullshit. They pounded it into their viewers’ brains. Trump’s minions who went on cable news to advance the Big Lie bullshit didn’t go on CNN or MSNBC. They went to Fox News, OANN, and Newsmax.

So far, 440 people have been arrested in connection to the MAGA riot. One guy’s defense is that he was suffering from an illness his lawyer calls “Foxitus” and “Foxmania.” The attorney for defendant Anthony Antonio (so stupid, he has the same name twice) said he had “Foxitus” from watching six months of Fox News nonstop, and started “believing what was being fed to him by Fox News and Donald Trump.”

This defense isn’t just an insanity defense. It’s a moron defense. It’s a defense of being too stupid to think for yourself. If it’s true you can’t think for yourself, the last person in the world you want doing your thinking is a person like Donald Trump. The second is a racist moron like Tucker Carlson. Sean Hannity is a very close third.

This defendant’s lawyer isn’t the only one arguing you shouldn’t believe Fox News. Fox News’ own lawyers made the same argument in a previous lawsuit. It was specifically about Tucker Carlson’s show, “Assholes Tonight.” And it might work. If you tell me you don’t watch anything except Fox News, I’ll buy the argument you’re a moron.

Let’s get a few things straight: The people who attacked the Capitol did so based on a lie. They were not Antifa. They were not Black Lives Matter. They were Trump followers. They were not protesters. They were terrorists. Anyone who attacks a government is a terrorist. Anyone who tries to change the leader of a government through violent means is a terrorist. They’re not just demonstrators whose passion got the better of them. They’re terrorists. Even Mr. Zip Tie’s mom is a terrorist.

At least 440 people have been arrested in connection with the terrorist attack. There needs to be at least one more.

Osama bin Laden sent terrorists to attack the Capitol building and failed. Donald Trump send terrorists to attack the Capitol building, and while he didn’t succeed in overturning an election and staying in power through a bloody coup attempt, he succeeded in attacking the Capitol.

Inside that very same building Donald Trump’s terrorists attacked are Republicans who are still worshipping the terrorist leader who ordered the attack.

The rich sweet irony here is that MAGA goons love to accuse liberals of being sheep, yet here they are claiming they’re not supposed to be held responsible because they’re incapable of thinking for themselves. But they are responsible and like Donald Trump, Fox News, and every representative who enabled the white nationalist terrorist attack (like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley Ron Johnson, et al.), they’re all a national security threat.

These people who can’t think for themselves shouldn’t be allowed to choose their own TV shows. Turn off Fox News before you hurt someone…or hurt yourself. Is Hee-Haw still on?

Creative note: I woke up close to 6:00 AM planning to do something with Liz Cheney, Kevin McCarthy, and the bear being used in the California recall…but that went nowhere. Then this came to me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trumping Lincoln


CNN05092021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

The Republican Party is not the party of Lincoln anymore. It’s now the party of Trump. They’re not even the party of Teddy Roosevelt or Eisenhower anymore. Even the more conservative Reagan doesn’t fit today’s Republican Party. Even Richard Nixon isn’t corrupt and dishonest enough for today’s GOP.

My friend and a guy whose work I often criticize, Michael Ramirez, wrote a long, painfully-detailed column on Facebook explaining to his fans why he stands with the truth, why he refuses to carry the lie that Trump won the election, had it stolen from him, or that anyone but Trump supporters attacked our nation’s Capitol building. In the column, he writes how his party, the GOP, is on the right side of the issues and the majority of Americans are with them. He’s wrong.

Michael has been long recognized for how talented he is. He has two Pulitzer Prizes. He’s very intelligent and his column is extremely eloquent…as though he went to great lengths to be eloquent. But, no amount of brains is going to save you when you’re as hyper partisan as he is and you’re bullshitting your balls off (I am less eloquent).

If you have to explain your stance in not accepting a lie to your lying party, maybe you’re in the wrong party.

Mike swings from refusing to accept the Big Lie to using the Big Lie to justify voter suppression laws. He wrote, “We don’t need to lie or deceive ourselves to win” and follows that with, “The truth is, conservative policies work and theirs do not.”

No, conservative policies don’t work. Did that huge Trump tax cut for asshole billionaires, trust-fund babies, and corporations work? Did it reduce the deficit? Did the “trickle-down” theory put more money in the middle class’ pocket? No, it did not. How about those two tax cut for asshole billionaires to finance two wars? What about all the racist policies?

Republican policies attract Nazis and Klansmen. Mike is right to accept that it was Trump followers who attacked the Capitol but he didn’t recognize them as terrorists. When you attack a government in a bloody coup attempt to overturn an election, you’re a fucking goddamn terrorist.

The fun part of his column were the comments from his readers. Most reject that President Biden won. They reject the truth. Some argue there’s no way a failed racist stupid fast-food peddling game show host could lose an election because they saw so many pro-Trump signs in their neighborhoods. How could a guy lose an election after trashing the economy and doing nothing while watching hundreds of thousands of Americans die from a pandemic he politicized and lied about? How could Trump lose the popular vote to Joe Biden after losing it to Hillary Clinton? How could a guy who repeatedly chose Putin over America be rejected by American voters? How could an impeached president (sic) lose an election while on his way to a second impeachment? It boggles the mind.

To reject that Biden won the election is to reject democracy. Oh, Republicans love democracy until they don’t get what they want.

A majority of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election and somehow President Biden stole it with the help of Republican leaders in states like Georgia and Arizona. The party is about to oust Liz Cheney from leadership, not because she doesn’t support Republican policies, but because she refuses to support the Big Lie.

Here’s the question for Republicans like my friend: If you don’t want to be in a cult, then why are you a Republican? It seems you would have quit when the Nazis came knocking.

Creative note: I wrote this cartoon in the middle of last week and thought my editor at CNN might like it. He loved it and approved it around 10:00 AM Friday morning. I dug it too and took my time with it. A few cartooning colleagues have patted me on the back for it which I truly appreciate it. Even though we’ve all been to the site, I used a great black-and-white photo for reference from the New York State Archives I found while doing a Google image search. This is a case where I’m really satisfied with a cartoon and will check it months down the line to see if I still like it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Poopy Jobs Report


Cjones05132021

People arguing against a minimum wage increase usually point out fast food restaurants as examples. They typically pay the lowest starting salaries. As usual for conservatives, this is a losing argument.

Plenty of people have careers in fast food. There are workers trying to support families by flipping burgers. But most workers at fast food places are students. While they may be working to pay for a car, insurance for that car, or saving for college, few are asking, “Do you want fries with that?” to pay off a mortgage. But let’s say every worker is paying for rent or mortgage while trying to feed his/her family. How does that argument work now.

People against minimum wage increases claim it’ll hurt small businesses. But it’s not just small businesses paying shit wages. There are thousands of employees for billion-dollar corporations, such as Walmart and Amazon, who are on welfare. And these corporations contribute very little to help with social welfare as they pay as little as possible, if any, in taxes.

But let’s argue burgers. People complain burger prices will increase. How much will they increase? Thirty cents? Forty cents? Maybe even a buck? You know what, I’m OK with that. I don’t make a lot of money but if paying a dollar more helps someone feed their child, I can live with that. The people who can’t are probably the same jerks who won’t get vaccinated for covid19 only because of how it affects them. These same assholes will pay an extra dollar for cheese on that burger. And don’t get me started on that half slice of cheese McDonald’s puts on their Filet O’ Fish. What the hell is up with that? Who sat at a board meeting and said, “I have a great idea? Let’s only put half a slice of cheese on the fish.” Seriously, billion-dollar corporations that will try to save millions by cutting the cheese might have to be forced to pay a living wage.

Corporate leaders rarely do the right thing for the people who work for them, for the people without whose blood they wouldn’t have been able to build their corporate empire without. They have to me forced to provide healthcare. If corporate America had its way, there would still be children on assembly lines in this nation. If corporations actually cared about their people, they wouldn’t be manufaturing shoes and computer chips in China, Vietnam, the Philippines, Indonesia, and Kentucky.

The federal minimum wage is $7.25 an hour. That is insane. Most combo meals at fast-food places cost more than $7.25. But even in California, where the minimum wage is higher at $13.00 or $14.00 an hour (depending on the number of employees), a Double-Double combo at In-N-Out burger cost $6.70. That’s about the same price for a combo at any fast-food place here in Virginia, where the minimum wage is $11.75. But how much is a burger combo in Oklahoma, where they minimum is $7.25? At a place in Tulsa called Smitty’s, they have something called an “Egg-O-Nater” that’s a burger with a fried egg, bacon, and a slice of cheese that sounds delicious for $6.99. And that may be just for the burger alone, not drinks or sides.

If your argument is that paying people a wage they could actually support themselves with would jack up prices at Jack In The Box, then what’s going on in Tulsa? It’s not like the chickens are charging exorbitant prices for providing eggs for the Egg-O-Nater. They’re paying shit wages and charging prices higher than those in states where where workers are paid better.

Most states have a higher minimum wage than the federal level. There are 14 states at the federal level, five states without minimum wage laws, and two states below the federal minimum wage. In Wyoming and Georgia (red states), the minimum wage is $5.15 an hour. Those workers may never know the goodness of an Egg-O-Nater sandwich. Is that any way to live?

Last week’s jobs report fell below expectations. Economists were predicting over a million jobs would be added, but it turned out to be 266,000 (in case you’re a Republican, that’s less than a million). Republicans are blaming increased unemployment benefits. They’re framing it as the fault of lazy shiftless people who would rather sit on their couches eating bonbons in their underwear while collecting an additional $300 a week, instead of taking a job with shit wages where they would be require to put on pants.

Republicans in several states are taking a short break from making it harder for black people to vote and making it legal to run over Black Lives Matter protesters to strip away unemployment benefits. For Republicans, it’s always work, work, work.

Additionally, some states are going to make it harder to collect those benefits by requiring the unemployed to show proof they’re job hunting and requiring employers to report when people turn down job offers.

States ending the benefits that were increased due to the coronavirus pandemic, or at least trying to do so, are Montana, South Carolina, Utah, and Arkansas. The truth is, a tight labor market usually drives up salaries and we’re not seeing that here. Maybe if you can’t afford to pay workers a living wage, then you shouldn’t have workers. Can businesses only survive if the owners are complete douchenozzles?

More states will follow these four Republican-led states. But get this: The benefits they’re canceling are federal benefits given to their states. Those Republicans are turning down free money. When do you ever hear a gubernatorial candidate run on promises of turning down free federal money? That’s money the recipients would have been spending in their states. Just how stupid are Republicans? This is why you never want them in charge of an economy. Never.

But it’s not just increased unemployment benefits keeping people from going back to work. There’s child care. Do you want to stop receiving an extra $300 a week to go back to work for a shitty salary while also paying for daycare? Hello, Republicans? Answer that one.

Some people don’t want to man a register at Dollar Tree for $7.25 an hour because shitty asshole mouth-breathers who refuse to get vaccinated will be coming in to bark in their faces. Again, the people complaining about the slow pace of returning to normal are doing the least to move it along…or they’re doing the most to stop it.

Even without stupid Republicans ending these benefits, they will end eventually. They will end in September. No intelligent person is going to turn down a good job offer because of unemployment benefits that will end soon. I doubt they can talk an employer into hanging on to a vacant position until September.

Another funny thing about this is, a lot of these businesses complaining that people are refusing to work because of increased unemployment benefits have profited by people spending those benefits at their businesses. I personally know people who stopped receiving their benefits to go back to work.

And while people were being laid off because of the pandemic, it didn’t seem to hurt the pay of corporate leaders. Boeing laid off over 30,000 employees while giving its chief honcho a $21 million bonus. Norwegian Cruise Lines, in an industry that helped ship the virus to the United States, cut 20 percent of its workforce while doubling the salary of its top dickhead to over $36 million. The numero uno Hilton fucker (not the guy who fucks Paris Hilton the most, but the guy running the hotel chain) got over $55 million last year after laying off 22 percent of its corporate staff. Chief executives of big companies now make, on average, 320 times as much as their typical worker.

At Chipotle, a fast-food place where the average pay to put a norovirus into a burrito is $11 an hour, paid their chief executive over $38 million last year.

Don’t forget that all these corporations were recipients of the Donald Trump Tax-Cuts-for-Asshole-Billionaires package that was his first initiative as president (sic) instead of, oh I don’t know, increasing funding for the infrastructure.

Here’s a fact I didn’t look up but I feel pretty positive about: Everyone who argues against increasing the minimum wage makes over $7.25 an hour. Why does American capitalism require that workers starve?

Correction: Most fast-food workers are not teens with 70 percent above 20 years of age with average being 27.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Critical Race Theory


Cjones05122021

The 1619 Project is a journalistic endeavor by The New York Times which reframes the nation’s history by placing the consequences of slavery and the contributions of black Americans at the center of the United State’s narrative. It was launched in 2019 to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the arrival of the first slaves to colonial Virginia. The introductory essay won the Pulitzer Prize. Naturally, white conservatives hate this.

A few historians also questioned the project and have accused it of putting ideology before historical understandings. But isn’t that what we grew up with? You grew up with history written by white men. The history books we grew up with aren’t as fucked up and total bullshit like that other book written from a male perspective, the Bible, but it excludes a lot. History is written by the victors, but that should probably stop.

History isn’t just black and white. When you study World War II, you can’t walk away thinking it was as simple as good vs. evil. You need to understand why. Why did Japan want to wage war on the U.S? Why did we side with a communist nation like the Soviet Union? Which colonizing empire, Japan or the British, are the good guys? Why did a democratic Finland fight against the allies and with the Nazis? History is complicated. And when that war was over, the victors drew new boundaries and people in the Middle East had no say in what country they even lived in.

History is funny in that you can spend your entire life studying the subject. Civilization is old. A lot of shit has happened in the past. Another funny thing about history is that so many people tell different versions. A former editor of mine, who served in Vietnam, argued that the United States didn’t lose that war. And he was there watching us lose it. A lot of people get the history they want to get. I’ve had a history professor tell me the U.S. Civil War was not over slavery which is very complicated. Basically, the Civil War was not about slavery for the north. For the south, it was the only thing they were fighting for. Fight me.

And they’re still fighting in the south. Southern Republicans, and in a few other red states outside the south, are fighting Critical Race Theory. What’s that? Critical Race Theory is the study of how racism is embedded in our society which all started when that first boat landed in Virginia over 400 years ago. White Republicans have labeled it as “anti-American.” The Trump administration tried to shut it down by ordering the Department of Education to cease funding to any schools teaching it, and not teaching how awesome Murica is and that it all started in 1776. The Trump administration wanted to rewrite history to only teach “patriotic” history. I’m not fucking with you here. Mitch McConnell called Critical Race Theory “divisive nonsense.”

White Republicans will tell you we have a racist past, but it’s all better now. There is no longer any racism and the Derek Chauvin trial proved it. Tucker Carlson asked on his show, that’s a favorite for white supremacists, “What is white supremacy?”.

Texas’ Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick, who has shown of his hatred and ignorance in the past, said, “Texans reject critical race theory and other so-called ‘woke’ philosophies that maintain that one race or sex is inherently superior to another race or sex or that any individual, by virtue of his or her race or sex, is inherently racist, sexist or oppressive.” Critical Race Theory doesn’t teach that one race is superior to other races. I get the sense that Dan Patrick got all his history by watching Tucker Carlson.

If you think the Ku Klux Klan was started by the Democratic Party, the south fighting for slavery were the liberals, and that the parties didn’t flip positions through the 1950s and 1960s, then you are desperately in need of a real history lesson. And don’t give me any of that PragerU. shit.

President Joe Biden’s Department of Education issued proposals to update the teaching of American history and civics in schools, incorporating anti-racist works such as the 1619 Project. White conservatives are afraid. Anything that threatens their white privilege is addressed at the top of their agenda, after fealty to Trump.

Idaho has banned Critical Race Theory from being taught in any of their schools, from elementary schools to universities. You don’t want Republicans in charge of your lesson planner. Remember a few years ago when Texas rewrote all their history books to refer to slaves as “workers?” Yeah.

But these fucknut lesson planners aren’t just limited to Texas and Idaho. Republicans in Tennessee, Georgia, Arkansas, South Dakota, Arizona, Oklahoma, New Hampshire, Iowa, Louisiana, Missouri, Rhode Island and West Virginia are working on legislation to ban anything that teaches “divisive concepts” or that “suggests” the United States is a racist country.

White speaking against Critical Race Theory, and advancing a bill to outlaw it, Tennessee legislator Justin Lafferty argued the Three-Fifths Compromise, that was counting black people as three-fifths of a person was included in the Constitution to end slavery. In reality, the Compromise was created to count slaves in the south so that could increase representation in Congress, even though those slaves had no voting rights…or any rights. It went along with the racist Electoral College, distributing votes in the south unequally. That’s another reason to get rid of the Electoral College. The Three-Fifths Compromise and the Electoral College made slavery stronger. The idiot arguing the Compromise was to end slavery got a standing ovation from the white Republicans present. Seriously.

The guy might as well have argued the Underground Railroad was built by Jefferson Davis or that the Confederacy seceded to end slavery.

These white Republicans are arguing that if something is “divisive” then it shouldn’t be taught or discussed. These fuckers sounds like newspaper opinion page editors. And, these racists are trying to paint anti-racism as anti-American. And maybe they have a point. America is a racist country.

Even if you don’t agree the United States remains a racist nation, you do need to understand we have a racist history and that this nation was built on racism. We also need to acknowledge the contributions to our nation from black Americans. That’s not being woke. That’s being informed. Just a few years ago, Michelle Obama got a lot of heat from white Republicans for pointing out she was living in a house slaves built.

White Republicans aren’t just making it illegal to teach history they don’t want to hear…they’re banning black history. I don’t want to give them any ideas, but I’m surprised they’re not writing laws to save Aunt Jemima-shaped syrup bottles.

These same fuckers banning history being taught that may suggest we are a racist nation are the same assholes writing laws making it harder for black people to vote. They’re the same racist idiots making it legal to run over people protesting for equality and against police violence on black Americans. We don’t need to teach proper history to know we’re a racist nation. Just show students a photo of Donald Trump.

What we need are classes to teach Republicans irony.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tucker Abuse


Cjones05112021

Covid deniers, the anti-maskers, and the anti-vaxxers are playing the whining game over faux abuse for being flat Earthers. They claim they’re being scorned by society and assaulted for not getting vaccinated and for not wearing face masks. They argue it’s their body and their choice, overlooking that their choice affects other people’s bodies.

Numerous videos have been posted on social media of Kens and Karens wailing inside businesses that require them to wear face masks. These are the same people who champion the rights of a bakery to refuse to make gay wedding cakes. Why does a cake have to straight or gay? Why can’t there just be wedding cakes?

The truth is, nobody is being persecuted for not wearing a face mask or for refusing to be vaccinated. One of the fucknuts who comments on my videos equated discrimination against anti-vaxxers to the Holocaust. As if being seated in a germy section of a restaurant is the same as being ripped from your home, having all your possessions taken, put into forced labor, murdered by the millions, and having your body used to make soap. We already discriminate against smokers. Why can’t we seat anti-vaxxers into the shitty section of restaurant next to the bathrooms? And let’s make those bathrooms unisex just to piss them off further.

I am probably the biggest advocate for treating anti-vaxxers differently. I don’t see anyone on cable news arguing to discriminate against these Flat Earthers. Maybe one or two people believe they should be seated last on an airplane while I think we should make those fuckers walk. I’m willing to meet you half way on this and put them all on Greyhound.

There is no abuse or persecution of people for not wearing face masks. But, there is one guy on cable news advocating for attacking people who are wearing face masks. Of course, I’m talking about Tucker Carlson.

Tucker Carlson is a horrible person. He’s also an idiot. A couple weeks ago on his TV show that’s number one in ratings for Klansmen, he pushed the idea of bullying people for wearing face masks, calling anyone wearing a facemask “liberal zealots” and “neurotics.”

Tucker is fighting to prolong the pandemic. He’s continuing to politicize the pandemic and the effort to return to normal. Tucker is working against our nation. He’s advocating to broaden a public health crisis that’s killed over 580,000 people in this nation.

It gets worse. Tucker argued that making a child wear a face mask outside is child abuse. He said, “As for forcing children to wear masks outside, that should be illegal. Your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart. Call the police immediately, contact child protective services. Keep calling until someone arrives. What you’re looking at is abuse, it’s child abuse and you are morally obligated to attempt to prevent it.”

“If it’s your own children being abused, then act accordingly. Let’s say your kids school emailed you and announced that every day after lunch, your sixth-grader was going to get punched in the face by a teacher. How would you respond to that? That’s precisely how you should respond when they tell you that your kids have to wear masks on the soccer field. That is unacceptable, it is dangerous, and we should act like it because it is. But too few of us have responded like that, we have been shamefully passive in the face of all of this.”

Tucker is a bully and he’s advocating his viewers to be bullies. He wants everyone to be like Marjorie Taylor Greene and stalk children and scream at them. He wants you to traumatize children by calling the cops on their parents. It’ll be like that lady who called police because she saw black people having a picnic in a public park. And the worst part is, the police showed up.

There are probably police in North Carolina who will respond to a hateful idiot like Tucker over parents having their kids wear face masks. Personally, I think we should call the cops on parents who force their children into mullets.

Tucker also believes seeing someone outdoors in a face masks is like seeing a man “expose himself in public.” Fantasizing it was happening to him, Tucker said, “That’s disgusting, put it away please, we don’t do that here.” It seems he put a lot of thought into this naked man in public thing. Why is Tucker obsessed with naked men? It’s not like seeing a woman expose herself in public? Does Tucker count penises to fall asleep? Live on TV, he was fantasizing about naked men. Go figure.

Tucker told his viewers to walk up to people wearing a mask outside, not just over their children wearing one, and say, “Your mask is making me uncomfortable.” Here’s a fact: If I’m wearing a mask outdoors, the only thing it has to do with you is that it’s keeping you safe.

If you’re outside away from people or in a small group, the CDC says you can take your mask off. But if you’re uncomfortable with that, go ahead and wear your face mask. Why should anyone care? If my face mask is making you uncomfortable, then does that give me the right to tell you that your MAGA shirt is making me uncomfortable? Can I tell assholes toting guns around in public they’re making me uncomfortable? What about an asshole in a car with his windows down playing Toby Keith? Can I scream at that guy?

Sure, if a guy is outside with his penis exposed and he’s shaking it at you, you have a right to be uncomfortable. But it’s not the same thing as wearing a face mask.

I’m not in favor of changing health policy based on what makes Tucker Carlson comfortable. That’s how it is with these white conservative men who are selfish. It’s all about what makes them comfortable. It also applies to when their white privilege is threatened. They championed Kyle Rittenhouse driving across state lines because protesting against police violence made them uncomfortable. Donald Trump tear-gassed a crowd outside the White House for a photo-op and because they made him uncomfortable. Several states are now crafting legislation making it legal to run over protesters for making you uncomfortable.

Tucker equated wearing a face mask to punching a child in the face. Hmmmm. I’m thinking Tucker has never actually been punched in the face and that makes me very sad. How is it possible that a fucker like Tucker has never been punched in the face? How do you look like THIS and never get punched in the face? Oh yeah, Swiss boarding schools and white privilege. Perhaps he should be punched in the face just so he knows how wrong his comparison of face punches and face masks is. Punching Tucker Carlson in the face would actually be a public service since he has a nightly show where he attempts to provide Nazis with “information.” If he understands that being punched in the face is nothing like wearing a face mask, that would be a good thing for Fox News viewers and even Tucker. He might even thank you. Tucker Carlson needs a punch in the face. Society demands it. Can we get #PunchTuckerCarlsonInTheFace trending?

So, any volunteers to educate Tucker and punch him in the face?

Creative note: Yes, those are cicadas in the cartoon. And where are they? It’s May 8 and they’re not here yet. If I don’t get some cicadas soon, I’m going to demand a cicada refund.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

McTortoise Obstruction


Cjones05102021

Mitch McConnell, the Senate Minority Leader, said, “One hundred percent of my focus is on stopping the Biden administration.” He said “one hundred percent.” He didn’t say stuff he disagreed with, or stuff he considered wrong for the nation, or that he expected there to be legislation he didn’t want….he said “one hundred percent.” That means everything. Why? Because he’s a dick.

When you look at what’s wrong with Washington, start with Mitch McConnell. Oh, sure. You have a Josh Hawley out there fisting terrorists. You got Ted Cruz eating Trump’s shit sandwich while bailing on his constituents and pretending to be outraged at everything. You have Rand Paul being a dick about everything from tax hikes on corporations to how his neighbor bags his cut grass, but Rand Paul is just Rand Paul. Mitch McConnell is the leader of his Senate caucus. For most of the Obama administration and all of Donald Trump’s, he was the Senate leader.

Over in the House, you can say the problem with Washington is that a Republican Party is now a cult and they’re about to expel one of their leaders…for telling the truth. They’re going to expel a leader for saying an election wasn’t stolen. They’re going to expel a leader for siding AGAINST terrorists. They have literally have two members of Qanon in the House and one guy who possibly had sex with a teenager which they’re not criticizing. And you can look at the Republicans in both chambers and how they allowed and defended Donald Trump breaking the law and his oath of office. But to see where the problem starts, look at Mitch.

After President Obama was elected, Mitch said his only job was to make sure Obama only served one term. It didn’t matter if Obama brought something good to the table or not. Mitch is so partisan, his mission wasn’t to do his job as a Senator, but as a Republican operative and destroy the Obama presidency. He failed.

Now, Mitch out to do the same thing to President Biden. This is a guy who blamed Donald Trump for the insurrection and then voted against impeaching him. Sure, Trump brought terrorists to attack the very building you work in…but let’s let that slide…and focus on destroying President Biden.

Fuck helping to end the pandemic, or aiding the economic recovery, or stopping mass shootings. All Mitch wants to do is block everything the Biden administration tries to accomplish. Does this mean rebuilding America’s infrastructure? It sure does. McConnell will block stuff during the Biden era that he would have helped craft for the Trump administration. Donald Trump talked a lot of shit about rebuilding our nation’s infrastructure…but he spent more time playing golf, making racist comments, attacking his critics, breaking his oath of office, and grifting. President Biden is already working to repair the Trump mess and if McConnell succeeds at obstructing, it’ll remain a mess. Can you imagine how much could be accomplished if McConnell actually sat down with the president (the real one) and said, “Let’s see what we agree on so we can help people”?

Keep in mind it was President Obama with Vice-President Biden who had to clean up President Bush’s mess. They did it without McConnell’s help. Then, Donald Trump took credit for all of Obama’s accomplishments and coasted on the economy he didn’t create…and McConnell enabled that. Now that Trump has left us a shattered economy and a pandemic to recover from, McConnell doesn’t want to help the Biden-Harris administration.

Repairing our nation’s falling infrastructure, shattered economy, and recovering from a pandemic the previous administration ignored shouldn’t be a Democratic or Republican job. It should be an American effort. President Biden said yesterday there are “no Republican or Democratic” bridges. There are just bridges. But there are Republican assholes.

In many racist red states, it will soon be legal to run over and murder with your car people protesting against police violence. But if Mitch McTortoise is in the road, it will not be legal to squash his decrepit ass.

And maybe that is what’s wrong with our country.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Exclusively Fox


Cjones05092021

How much longer before we see a live execution on Fox & Friends? Now that South Carolina is going to start executing people by firing squad, any day now. South Carolina’s excuse is that it’s harder to get the chemicals for lethal injections and since this is Murica, there will never be a supply problem with bullets. Here’s another solution: Stop killing people.

Fox & Friends did get an exclusive today. Florida’s dipshit racist buttface governor, Ron DeSantis signed a new law, making it harder for blacks to vote, live on the air on Fox & Friends…and excluded all other news outlets from viewing the signing.

Since this was official state business, what right did he have in barring access from a free press? Take note, he also did this just days after World Press Freedom Day.

But the thing is, kids, this isn’t a new law that’s better for Florida or voting rights. If it was, he wouldn’t have made signing such a partisan bill on a political photo-op on Donald Trump’s favorite hater TV show. Now, when he signs the bill making it legal to run over black protesters in your car and murdering them, will he do that live from Mar-a-Lago?

Here’s my wish: The nine-ton Chinese rocket falling from space this weekend lands on Mar-a-Lago.

DeSantis had previously bragged that Florida’s presidential election was a model for the rest of the country. So why is he signing a bill based on bogus Trump bullshit? Donald Trump is not president (sic) anymore. Can we stop having laws designed to kiss his ass?

Since I don’t watch Fox, I can’t be sure…but how much do you want to bet that none of the goons on Fox & Friends stood up for their “journalism” colleagues at other outlets and questioned why they were the only ones present? The odds are better on the Chinese Rocket crashing into Mar-a-Lago.

Why can’t we have the Chinese rocket crashing into Mar-a-Lago while Ron DeSantis is kissing Trump’s ass live on Fox & Friends? Shit like that never happening is what’s keeping me very agnostic.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Evil Flying Hater Poop Machines


Cjones05082021

If you’re still having a public squabble and hissy fit over being banned from Facebook, you don’t deserve to be president. And that’s the topic I originally intended to cover today, but after this flying monkey idea flew into my head, I couldn’t let it go.

Liz Cheney is most likely going to lose her leadership position in the House because Donald Trump has sent his flying monkeys to destroy her. Accidentally speaking on a hot mic, Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy made it clear he wants her gone. If he wants her gone, she’s gone. And all of this is because she won’t support the “Big Lie” that the election was stolen from Trump or the talking point he’s not responsible for all the MAGA terrorists attacking the Capitol.

While Liz Cheney won’t goosestep with her cult, er…party regarding the Big Lie and its support of white nationalist terrorism, she is in lockstep with them on virtually every other issue.

Her party doesn’t have a problem that she opposes same-sex marriage, which she does despite having a lesbian sister.

Her party doesn’t have an issue that she wants the grey wolf taken off the endangered species list. She also opposed the grizzly bear being returned to the Endangered Special Act, saying it wasn’t based on “science or facts.” She favors murdering endangered animals and raping national parks for energy companies.

She joined her party in accusing FBI agent Peter Strzok of planning a “coup” against then-candidate Trump in 2016. While she voted to impeach Trump in 2020, she voted against the first one despite him being guilty of asking a foreign nation to meddle and help his reelection.

Liz Cheney was more than fine with Trump’s family-separation policy at the border. She never spoke out against parents losing their children, babies being thrown into detention centers, or children being forced to go to court alone to defend themselves. She loves Donald Trump’s racist border wall.

She never questioned Donald Trump’s grifting of our government. She never went after him when he chose Putin over U.S. Intelligence.

She didn’t oppose Trump’s Muslim ban.

When Turkey invaded Kurdish territory in Syria attacking our allies after Trump pulled U.S. troops out of the area, Cheney blamed the invasion on Democrats’ impeachment of Trump.

She supports Israel annexing more of Palestine.

Cheney called for the Trump Justice Department to investigate foreign meddling by Russia and China to influence, not the 2016 presidential election, but environmental groups like the Sierra Club, Sea Change, and the National Resources Defense Counsil.

Liz Cheney is anti-choice, anti-healthcare, anti-education, anti-environment, anti-civil rights, anti-women’s rights, anti-gun control, and anti-social security. She may oppose the Big Lie, but I haven’t heard her oppose changing voting laws, designed to make voting harder for black voters, based on the Big Lie.

Trump might be angry at her, but she supported Donald Trump giving himself a huge tax cut. She opposes corporations paying more in taxes…or in most cases, any taxes.

And while she opposes the conspiracy theories that Donald Trump won the 2020 election, she has supported the conspiracy theories that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya. She once gave the keynote address at a dinner hosted by the Center for Security Policy, which is a conspiracy group that’s been labeled as a hate group, and is led by Frank Gaffney, who once compared Muslims to termites. Cheney never criticized him for comparing human beings to termites.

As the flying monkeys swarm over Liz Cheney, keep in mind…she’s a flying monkey too. She just pissed off the Wicked Witch.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Roughs, Volume 89


I apologize. I thought I already posted these roughs. These are from the week before last. If I’m going crazy and I did already post these, let’s blame it on a vaccine side effect. 

CNNrough1196

I like this idea and I almost drew a variation of it. As usual, it got away from me. I can just wait until President Biden’s next first 100 days.

CNNrough1195

This was another take on the same subject. I like it much less.

CNNrough1194

This is the rough that became an official CNN cartoon. I was so happy they picked this one because it’s so weird. Also, I wanted to make cat lovers happy.

CNNrough1193

This also turned into a cartoon I was very happy with.

CNNrough1192

This one also turned into a real cartoon. This triggered a LOT of responses.

CNNrough1191

This isn’t very good.

CNNrough1190

This is OK but I like the next one better.

CNNrough1189

This turned into a real cartoon. My readers loved it on social media and a lot of clients ran with it. It also triggered a lot of responses.

There will be another post of roughs sooner than usual. I’ll make it later tonight or tomorrow. It has a lot more drawings than this one.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: