claytoonz

Royal Racism


cjones03102021

I have never been that fascinated with the royal family of the United Kingdom. I’ve always paid some attention to it but not with any obsession. I remember when Charles and Diana were married. I remember the births of William and Harry. My interest lies more in history and I’ve gone down worm holes to understand the role of the monarchy in relation to parliament. I have watched about three episodes of The Crown.

When there is something special about the monarchy on TV, I will usually watch it. When Harry and Meghan were married, Stephanie Ruhl and Katie Tur of MSNBC covered the wedding in London and totally geeked out when Meghan’s carriage passed them. It was embarrassing. That, I don’t understand. But I figured I should watch Oprah’s interview with Harry and Meghan on Sunday night.

I didn’t even know this thing was happening until my editor at CNN told me Friday morning and that he was open to a cartoon about it. He was also open to cartoons about Mr. Potato Head and Dr. Seuss. So I gave him a cartoon featuring all three. Then I thought my clients might want a cartoon on the interview, so I watched.

Since a few details had come out about the special, I didn’t expect any big surprises and wasn’t looking forward to it. I was actually dreading it. Two hours for this? Man, I’m dedicated to my craft. But If I can sit through Donald Trump’s inauguration speech, then I can sit through just about anything.

I expected to be bored and the entire thing to just be trivial pop culture stuff. I was wrong. It was interesting. I expected the couple to come off whiny and entitled. I thought I’d roll my eyes at them and have trouble sympathizing. Instead, I was angry.

Who starts a conversation worried about a baby’s skin tone? Who does that? You’re supposed to be excited about an upcoming birth in your family. If nothing else, you shouldn’t be racist to members of your own family.

Here’s the dirt: Someone in The Firm, as the royal family and the organization that operates it is referred as, brought this up to Prince Harry as a major concern. Apparently, they were afraid of how it would look for the royal family if it had a black member, or at least one darker than Meghan. And it’s not the point as to how dark the baby would be. The issue here is that it was a concern.

When Harry married Meghan, I thought it was a bigger deal that she was divorced and an American. I didn’t think her being of mixed race was any kind of issue at all. Sure, there are racists out there who still get upset over mixed couples in Cheerio commercials but I thought the majority of us, those who didn’t vote for Trump, were over it. Even if you’re not racist, you may have still been surprised by this…20 years ago maybe.

If nothing else, I thought nobody in the royal family would concern themselves with it. I was wrong. Who was it? Harry wouldn’t say.

But what’s clear is that his relationship with his father and older brother, two future kings, is seriously damaged. He wouldn’t go into details except to say he was disappointed in them. Meghan also talked about Kate, William’s wife, making her cry…and then it being leaked to the tabloids that it was reversed, Meghan had made Kate cry.

Before they left the United Kingdom for Canada, and then Los Angeles, the Firm was opposed to giving any royal titles to Archie, the couple’s son. The baby whose skin tone someone was worried about. After they left the Firm, security was stripped from them. There was also talk about an investigation by the Firm over accusations that Meghan was a bully inside Buckingham Palace…but no investigations toward Prince Andrew being a rapist with Jeffrey Epstein. For someone, it was worse to have a black prince than a royal rapist.

So, who in the family was concerned about the baby’s skin tone? Who was so concerned and racist that they actually brought it up? Was it someone in the family or was it someone who works for them? It would be wrong to speculate and I discourage it. That said, I think it was Prince Charles.

Harry expressed how disappointed he was in his father because he had gone through the same kind of negativity and harassment from the British tabloids as he and Meghan were experiencing. The British tabloids are NOT like the legitimate press. They are totally focused on sensationalism. Even New York tabloids don’t have anything on them. The British tabloids are directly responsible for the death of Princess Diana, Harry’s mother. You would think the family would be more supportive.

I’m not surprised racism exists in the United Kingdom. It’s not just an American thing. We’re probably just louder about it after having a president (sic) for four years who encouraged and validated racist organizations. Say what you will about Boris, but at least he hasn’t retweeted Nazis (He hasn’t, has he?). We had a president who literally told white nationalists to march to the Capitol and overturn an election. But who knew there was racism in the royal family?

A Facebook friend of mine who is a Brit and often comments on my work wrote, “America has a race problem disguised as a class problem, we have a class problem which includes racism.” He wrote that before the interview aired. He was talking more about the tabloids and British society’s racism. This was before we learned someone in the royal family is afraid of black babies.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is that to escape UK racism, Harry and Meghan came here. Really? Did they not see that for 74 million Americans, racism was not a disqualifier in voting for Donald Trump? They didn’t that racism is not a deal-breaker for a huge percentage of the population? I personally know people who have left this nation over the past four years because of racism. I know white people who left this country because of its racism.

They fled the UK where someone in the royal family was concerned about a baby with dark skin tone for a land led by a racist orange baby.

And seriously, worried about a baby having a dark skin tone? Maybe that’s the kind of thinking you get after generations of inbreeding.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Long Night In The Q Patch


cjones03092021

After election day and Joe Biden passed Donald Trump in the vote count, Republicans held onto hope, with many believing that Trump would come back and win the presidency. When that didn’t happen, hope turned into conspiracy theories and Republicans truly became fucknuts.

Trumplicans believed that on December 20, the day electors meet in their respective states and cast their votes for president and vice-president, that Trump would be given an Electoral College victory which the GOP would have had to pull out of their asses. Republicans, including the president (sic) of the United States believed electors in several of those states would defy the will of their people and hand the election to Donald Trump. Donald Trump even invited legislators from Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania to the White House to convince and strong-arm them to overturn the election. That didn’t work. Even Big Macs under heat lamps didn’t sway them.

Trump’s lawyers filed over 60 lawsuits across the nation with each one failing. They held press conferences where Rudy Giuliani’s hair melted. There were hearings held in state capitals where legislatures actually patronized Rudy…for which he only brought conspiracy theories, insane witnesses, and farts. Trump’s other lawyer, Sidney Powell, spread conspiracy theories that voting machines created by the late Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, financed by George Soros, controlled by President Obama, President Bill Clinton, and Secretary Hillary Clinton, switched votes from Trump to Biden.

Senator Lindsey Graham, who represents South Carolina (in case you’re a Republican, is NOT Georgia), called officials in Georgia to convince them to give the state to Trump even though President Joe Biden had won it. Then, Donald Trump called officials in the state and threatened and demanded they make up votes to give him so he could surpass Biden in the count. And some people are saying, “Hmmmm…maybe that’s illegal.”

December 20 came and went and Joe Biden was still the President-Elect. Then, Trump called his supporters, you know, terrorists, to come to Washington, D.C. on January 6, when Congress was certifying the election. His white nationalist terrorists attacked the Capitol, wounding many and killing cops, to overturn the election. It was a bloody coup attempt. But the count went on and Joe Biden was officially President-Elect of the United States of America.

Then, the Qanon crowd believed Trump would enact martial law and during Joe Biden’s inauguration on January 20, the military would rush the podium and arrest him and Kamala Harris. For good measure, they’d also arrest President Obama and Hillary Clinton. Lady Gaga was probably in trouble too. Nobody was arrested, there was no martial law, and from the looks of it, everybody had a good time…except for Mike Pence. He looked like that guy at the party nobody wants to talk to.

Instead of declaring martial law, Donald Trump flew down to Florida. He refused to attend the inauguration because he’s a whiny little baby. He even left before noon so he could use Air Force One one last time without having to ask the incoming president for permission. Usually, the outgoing president does use Air Force One to leave the capital, but they only do so with the grace and permission of the incoming president…as long as they return it with a full tank. This request has never been refused. But, Donald Trump didn’t want to ask Joe Biden because that would have been an admittance Biden is president.

Donald Trump is the first president to refuse a peaceful transfer of power. He delayed the presidential transition, thus endangering the nation and trying to leave as much of a mess as possible for Biden to clean up. He delayed briefings on national security for the President-Elect. Donald Trump put himself before the security of this nation. And on a petty score, he refused to invite the President-Elect and incoming First Lady to the White House. For the record, President Obama invited Trump and Melania to the White House, greeted them on the steps of the White House on inauguration day, and attended the ceremony. Do you know who else was at Donald Trump’s inauguration in 2016? Joe Biden.

Election Day didn’t work out for Trump supporters. Then December 20, January 6, and January 20 didn’t work out for them. Finally, Qanon fucknuts can accept they lost, it’s over, Trump is now a former president (sic), Joe Biden is President, and it’s time to move on. Right? Wrong.

They decided that March 4 was the date Donald Trump would return and become president again…or something like that. What is this based on? Glad you asked because it’s crazy.

In 1871, Congress passed the District of Columbia Organic Act. This made the District of Columbia a self-governing body, a municipal corporation. It has no relation to the presidency. But, Qanon fucknuts believe that on this date, the United States of America became a corporation which is controlled by foreigners and a deep state of satanic-worshipping baby-eating pedophiles along with assorted lizard people.

Why March 4? Because that’s when lizard people’s eggs hatch? Is that when baby blood starts to turn so you better drink up? No. That’s when presidents used to be inaugurated. Congress moved the inauguration to January 20 after passing the 20th Amendment to the Constitution in 1933, the same year Franklin Delano Roosevelt ended the gold standard. QAnon believers argue that in ending the gold standard, Roosevelt transferred power to a group of shadowy foreign investors who have since been controlling the US government.

We’re about to get deeper: Qanon fucks believed that Ulysses Grant was the last legitimate president. Thus, when Trump returned on March 4, he would become the 19th president and the first legitimate president since Grant. But wait. Wouldn’t that mean Donald Trump was never president from 2017 to January, 2021? Shut up.

I also don’t get why Grant was the last legitimate president. Roosevelt’s first inauguration was on March 4, so was Herbert Hoover’s one. One, because he was a one-term loser like Donald Trump. If someone can explain this about the inauguration date (and I’ve researched), leave it in the comments.

Others also believe that Trump and Biden are actually working together, Trump never left, he’s still here, and it’s all a ruse because…wait for it…Trump and Biden switched bodies.

Trump me on this. Nobody wants to switch bodies with Donald Trump.

So, now that March 4 has passed, I guess it’s over. Right? Wrong.

Qanon fucknuts have moved the goal posts to March 20. Why March 20? The only thing I can find is that’s when many believe the Republican Party was founded in 1854. Of course back then, the Republican Party was the liberal party. The Qanon Shaman and Marjorie Taylor Greene have nothing in common with Abraham Lincoln.

Oh yeah, they also believe Trump still controls the military and on the 20th, he’s going to round up everyone who voted to impeach him or merely said bad things about him, and have them all arrested along with…Oh, sweet mother of monkey milk…the Pope.

Nobody tell the Qanon goons that President George Washington’s first inauguration was held on April 30. That would mean when Donald Trump does come back, he’ll be the second legitimate president.

Of course, all this shit persists because Qanon is a cult, being a Trump supporter is being in a cult, and Donald Trump won’t say anything to debunk any of this. This is the same guy who secretly took the covid vaccine. Why in secret and not do it in public like Biden, Harris, Obama, Clinton, Bush, etc? Because it would hurt the campaign he waged politicizing the virus, again, putting himself before the safety of the country he swore to protect. Or maybe, when he took the vaccine, it was really a serum for body switching with Joe Biden. Yeah! That’s it! And it was administered by a lizard guy in a doctor’s coat.

And everyone said, “Hey, Clay. What are you going to draw when Trump is gone? You’re going to miss Trump.” I haven’t had time to miss Trump.

Creative note: Usually when a cartoonist uses another cartoonist’s creation and characters in a cartoon, they write “apologies to” the cartoonist they borrowed from. I forgot to do that. And if anything, I really owe Charles Schulz an apology for making Linus a member of Qanon.

Correction: I originally had Hoover with TWO inaugurations. But, he only had one. Kudos to Robert Coutinho (who sent me an email) and the reader in the comments who caught it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Roughs, Volume 82


I almost forgot I need to post these roughs before they build up on me. I’ve drawn several more today but you’re not going to see them until at least next week. These are from the past two weeks.

CNNrough1123

I thought this was funny.

CNNrough1122

My editor at CNN liked where I was going with this one but was open for more ideas. So I shot her an “upgrade” to it and told her, “I think you’ll like it.”

CNNrough1125

This was the “upgrade” and she did like it. I made a few changes to make it more absurd, but this is what we went with.

CNNrough1124

I did this one last Saturday. Liberals are still screaming at me.

CNNrough1121

I was trying to cover all the bases here but on the advice of one of my proofers, I narrowed it down to just three panels. 

CNNrough1119

I was going with this while I was out of town last week. I was talking to my pal, Karen, a lot during that trip. She said she liked this but didn’t love it. I didn’t either, so I did something else. You need to imagine there are curse word symbols in that empty speech balloon. Also, where I was at the time had icy sidewalks, so they made it into this cartoon. 

CNNrough1118

This was for the CNN newsletter two weeks ago. I drew this rough on a Thursday, drew the finished cartoon on a Friday, then Saturday, a couple of cartoons came out with the same concept, when mine wasn’t going to be published until Sunday. Those curse word symbols could have been drawn over my head. 

CNNrough1120

This is true.

CNNrough1126

I spent about an hour on Josh Hawley’s face (which nobody will ever say), then decided nobody would get this.

Do you have a favorite?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Cancel Voter Culture


cjones03082021

Yesterday, one of my cartooning colleagues sent out a call to cartoonists asking if any of us had a Mr. Potato Head and if so, could he borrow it. I do have a Mr. Potato Head and he’s been with me for at least a couple of decades. I don’t remember where or when I bought him. He may have been a gift. I don’t remember. I’m old. But he’s overlooking my desk right now. And no, you can’t borrow him. He’s not going anywhere. I don’t know what my friend’s plans are for my Mr. Potato Head but I’ll be damned if I let him defile him or risk losing him in the mail. I like my Mr. Potato Head so much that after I moved into this apartment and couldn’t find his hat and mustache, I ordered replacements. Did you know you could do that? I didn’t but there are fuckers on Ebay selling Mr. Potato Head mustaches. That’s a thing.

To my friend, you could just purchase one on Amazon and it’d be at your house probably faster than I could send you mine. You can still purchase a Mr. Potato Head because despite all the Republican outrage, he has NOT been canceled. His big blue shoes are still kicking. Hasbro, the company that makes the toy, is still selling toy potatoes with the Mr. and Mrs. designations. They’re just also creating some playsets that de-emphasize the Mr. and Mrs. Also, it’s a toy of a potato.

This “cancel culture” bullshit has to stop. Most of the time, it doesn’t really exist. It’s like assholes complaining about political correctness. Basically, all political correctness is about is that you stop being an asshole. That’s really it. Now when Republicans scream about “cancel culture,” they’re making themselves out to be the victims when they’re really the perpetrators.

They yell racist shit and spread conspiracy theories, so when they are removed from a social media platform, they scream they’re being victimized. It’s like when someone claims rights for LGBTQ violates their religious freedom to be a bigot.

When you spread conspiracy theories and herd white nationalist terrorists to attack the government, it’s NOT cancel culture when you’re removed from Twitter.

When the company that owns the Dr. Seuss franchise decides to stop selling a few titles because of racist images, that’s not cancel culture. It’s not even a ban. That’s the company making up their own mind, without pressure or threats, to stop selling poisonous and hateful shit to children.

When a warning label is placed on The Muppets, that’s still not cancel culture. Which side were all you jackasses on when Tipper Gore wanted to put labels on Prince’s music? Right now, you’re all freaking out about the WAP song. And how did I reference the WAP song two days in a row?

Cancel culture is when you and your troglodyte buddies canceled Colin Kaepernick because you didn’t like his message. You hated his silent protest so much, you didn’t want him to have a job.

The former cartoonist of The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Rob Rogers, was “canceled” by his bosses because he refused to stop drawing cartoons criticizing Donald Trump. They fired him. Now, his replacement, a Trump-supporter, is drawing cartoons decrying cancel culture. You can’t make this shit up.

When you and your fellow Karens, who are all white teachers at a private Christian school, lose your jobs for posting a picture on social media holding letters that spell out “Coons,” that’s not cancel culture. That’s you being racist despite your defense you were only trying to spell “raccoons” in a human Scrabble contest and you never knew that word was racist. You’re teachers and you didn’t know “coons” was racist and the five of you together can’t spell “raccoons”? Yesterday, they tried to spell “Schwarzenegger.”

What’s just as racist, even if they don’t use any of the words, is trying to cancel the rights of minority voters. Republicans are racist? That’s not a surprise and you also shouldn’t be surprised that they care a lot more about Muppets, Potato Heads, and other inanimate objects than they care about voting rights.

Republicans in multiple states, especially in states President Joe Biden won that are controlled by Republican legislatures, are trying to disenfranchise millions of voters, specifically black and brown voters. You know, the wrong kind of voters.

Republicans are basing this on “election integrity” which means they want to remove all integrity from elections. Republicans do not want every eligible voter to vote. They’re trying to cut down on the number of ballot drop boxes, limit mail-in voting, hours at the precincts, and make it more difficult for minority voters in rural communities to get government ID cards.

They argue the laws have to be changed because stupid people think there was fraud. But then again, these are the same motherfuckers who want to build a wall in the desert where nobody crosses the border.

Never mind there wasn’t any actual fraud, but hey…if white people feel weird about it, then we need to make it harder for black people to vote. One lawyer arguing Arizona’s case before the Supreme Court actually admitted they needed the laws to change or else they wouldn’t win any elections in the future.

I suck at basketball so if I play Michael Jordon one-on-one, I need to be spotted 50 points and have the game limited to two minutes. Fuck getting better at basketball. Let’s just change the rules so I can win.

States like Arizona and Georgia are going blue. Their demographics are changing and there are more urban voters which typically goes to the Democrats. These states’ populations are increasing with people who are college educated and who don’t vote based on conspiracy theories and they typically don’t vote for Nazi lovers…so yeah, they don’t vote for Republicans. The best way for Republicans to win with these new voters is to not let them vote.

As it turns out, legislators who operate on conspiracy theories can’t win votes from intelligent people. We should not change laws that will disenfranchise millions of voters because you don’t like the outcome of the last election. You lost. Why don’t you try to win the next one by convincing more people to vote for you instead of trying to prevent them from voting?

Maybe instead of disenfranchising millions of minority voters, the Republican Party could try to create policies that appeal to more than just Nazis. Nah, stopping black people from voting is a lot easier.

What you’re trying to do is cancel legitimate voters. You’re trying to cancel a constitutional right.

What a bunch of Mr. Fuck Heads.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Texas Poo Step


cjones03072021

Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who is working hard to be even worse than Rick Perry, has decided the coronavirus pandemic is over and life can return to normal for Texans, or at least for those who didn’t die from the virus or freeze to death from last month’s abnormal cold snap.

The governor has reopened the state entirely without any limitations. This means you can sit at a bar inches next to a stranger. You can get a tattoo of Troy Aikman’s face above your butt crack. You can lick a stranger’s face while on a bus in Houston. You can now cough into the faces of your fellow gun enthusiasts while at the ammo store. You can dine inside a barbeque restaurant and eat barbeque that’s not as good as Memphis barbeque but still better than that North Carolina vinegar-based shit. You can hug your right-wing buddies at the border while looking at the spot where Donald Trump’s wall was never built that Mexico didn’t pay for. You can go to a strip club and have your eye poked out while receiving a lap dance from a girl named “Candy” who has a Russian accent. You can go to Amarillo and ask, “Why the fuck does anyone go to Amarillo?”. You can sit next to an ugly stranger on an international flight to Cancun and listen to him blame the trip on his daughters. Yes, life is returning to normal in Texas which means they’ll soon resume executing people with mental retardation on death row. Texas is a very special place. Sometimes, people in Florida look at Texas and say, “Damn.”

Everyone can sympathize that businesses want to get back to business. Everyone wants to go back to work, even those making just $7.25 an hour which is the minimum wage in Texas (even Florida raised theirs to $8.56). So the governor hastily has reopened the state…but at least that face mask mandate is still in effect. Do what now? He rescinded that too?

Greg Abbott has lifted the mask mandate which is an appeal to everyone who has politicized the virus or doesn’t believe it actually exists. This is also a good way to get people to stop talking about the freeze in the state last month where at least four million people lost power and many lost their lives. The state is still trying to count the deaths with some saying it was around 40 statewide while other officials say there were 86 deaths in Austin alone.

Now, we’re finding out that the governor, who is NOT a doctor or a scientist didn’t speak to any doctors or scientists when making his decision about reopening the state and removing the mask mandate. The governor has a team of four medical advisors and when told what the governor had done, each of them said, “He did what now? Holy fuckballs, I’m moving to Florida!”

I lied. He did talk to one out of the four and that one said it was probably a bad idea. Probably? President Joe Biden accused Abbott of “Neanderthal thinking.” And with all known variants of the coronavirus floating around Houston, the fourth largest city in the nation, removing face masks now is a Neanderthal move.

Texans seems to like putting idiots into power. Greg Abbott accused President Obama of “invading” Texas. During the power outage, he blamed the Green New Deal, which doesn’t exist. Then, he blamed the outage on wind turbines freezing. Wind turbines did freeze, but do you really believe the bulk of Texas’s power comes from green energy? What else do you believe, the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl next year? Wind turbines only account for about 13% of Texas energy and they don’t freeze in Greenland so, try again, Abbott. And then, everyone who didn’t lose power got $9,000 electric bills and said, “Holy fuckballs, I’m moving to Florida.”

Funny thing about all those electric bills: Republicans are all like, “Hey, federal government. Help those people with their bills” because the power companies have to get paid. There’s no talk of the power companies helping anyone.

Texas lost power because its power grid was deregulated. They didn’t want the federal government telling them how to do their power, so a few decades ago, they removed most of their power grids from being connected to other states. Defenders say we need to give this deregulated system of power grids time to stabilize, ignoring that it’s been about three decades already. Then, this state that talks about seceding and that they don’t need no federal control goes crying to the federal government for help anytime the wind whips up a little. Look at Ted Cruz for example. This guy votes against funding when blue states get hit by hurricanes yet begs for federal money every year when a hurricane hits Texas.

This is the state that deregulates everything, tells the nation’s businesses to come to Texas, especially if they’re from California, then has to investigate why a manure plant exploded and killed 15 people.

Yes, Texas? Why are your power grids freezing and your shit factories exploding? Since he’s full of shit, how come Ted Cruz never explodes?

If Texas was its own country, it would be a third-world nation. It would be controlled by climate-change-denying idiots…and Cowboy fans.

I want life to return to normal just as much as anyone else. We liberals do not want businesses to die. We don’t want the economy ruined. We want kids back in school just as bad as everyone else wants it. There are no parents with kids at home saying, “Boy, I hope schools never reopen. This has been so much fun having these kids in my face every single minute where I can’t even shut the bathroom door for three seconds without someone banging on it screaming, MOM!!!!” and…”

And just because conservatives base every decision on “making liberals cry,” that doesn’t mean we’re for face mask mandates because it makes you cry. We don’t need to make you cry. From Mr. Potato Head, to Muppets, to Dr. Seuss, to the WAP song, you cry about everything. We want people to stop dying, even the crying Neanderthals who couldn’t make a P get W A if their lives depended on it.

The best way to reopen everything is if we get rid of this virus. That means everyone should be vaccinated, stay six feet apart from each other, and keep your fucking face mask on your fucking face, fucker.

Of course, another good way to get rid of this virus is if we get rid of Republicans.

If you are in Texas, ignore your government. They’re stupid. Keep your mask on. Continue to practice social distancing. Listen to President Joe Biden. Listen to Dr. Another Fauci. Listen to Dolly Parton. DON’T listen to Ted Cruz. Stop rooting for the Cowboys.

And if you’re in Texas, watch where you step because there’s a lot of Republican bullshit.

Creative note: This cartoon began as they all do, in my head. And while it was in my head, all the speech balloons were coming from Greg Abbott. But then I had the fear people would think the “watch where you step” line was a cheap crack at him for being in a wheelchair. I’m not above delivering a cheap shot when I feel it fits, but not over something like that. So this morning, the cow pie concept came to me and I decided to go that route even though I normally HATE drawing feces and urine. Ew. A lot of cartoonists do it but I’m just not a fan of it. This is another example of me breaking my own rules.

Other note: I know you’re googling the WAP song.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Shat In The Hat


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Six Dr. Seuss books will not be published anymore for containing racist images. Unfortunately, Republicans are continuing to put members on the Senate Judiciary Committee despite their being racists and terrorists sympathizers.

While Fox News and other conservatives, and even some liberals, have called the pulling of the Dr. Seuss titles “cancel culture,” the decision was made by the company that owns and publishes the books. None of the titles is a big classic, like “The Cat in the Hat,” or, “The Lorax,” but they did pull “The Racist Senator who started a Riot then fled to Cancun while Texas froze and made his daughters scapegoats.”

The company overseeing the legacy of Dr. Seuss believes that removing these books will preserve his legacy. You know, by hiding a portion of his legacy. Theodor Seuss Geisel, the author who created Dr. Seuss and classics like “Green Eggs and Ham”, considered himself “woke” for his time. Not that they used the word “woke” back then, but you know what I mean. He believed he was open-minded and fighting hate while being unable to conceal his underlying prejudices in depicting conical-hat wearing Asians using chopsticks and grass-skirt-wearing barefoot Africans. It’s kinda like woke governors who champion the Me Too movement, then walk up to strange women at weddings, grabs their faces and says, “You’re aggressive. How about a kiss?”.

Dr. Seuss was pretty racist and he didn’t know it. But ask racists like David Duke and Donald Trump if they think they’re racist and they’ll tell you no, despite the fact they’re racist-covered racists with a racist cream filling (I stole that from Scrubs).

And if the Dr. Seuss company can see that maybe it’s wrong to poison minds by educating them with racist images, then why can’t the Republicans see that it’s poisonous to put people on the panel questioning how the Capitol attack happened when they’re the same mofos who helped instigate the attack?

FBI Director Christopher Wray testified before the committee that the attack was committed by domestic terrorists. Seeing that they attacked the United States government to overturn an election, it’s pretty obvious they were terrorists. But they weren’t just any old terrorists. They were racist terrorists. The attack, encouraged by Donald Trump who rallied the terrorists and told them when to be there, were white nationalists. White nationalists are responsible for the majority of all terrorism in this nation.

Of course, the two guys on the committee who are asking, “How did this happen?” are the same two guys who held up certifying the election and encouraged the terrorist attack. Ted Cruz was asking who these terrorists were despite there being video footage of them in the Senate chambers talking about how Ted Cruz was helping them. The other goon on the panel, Josh Hawley, gave them a fist raise of encouragement before the attack.

During the hearing, Hawley was very interested in learning how the FBI was using geolocation data and metadata cellphone records from cellphone towers to track people who participated in the Capitol riot…and then he went outside and smashed his phone with a hammer.

Thing One and Thing Two on the panel continue to wreck the place by spreading the lie Donald Trump won the election and leftist activists were a part of the attack. Say what you will about the Cat in the Hat, but when he was done, he cleaned up his mess.

If I ran a zoo, I’d ban the racist-loving and insurrectionist goons Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley. Nobody wants to see them…except white nationalist terrorists.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Minimum Protest


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Grab ‘Em By The Cuomo


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Goddammit, Andrew Cuomo. Stop making me draw cartoons about you.

When I drew a cartoon on the scandal of Cuomo covering up the number of nursing home deaths from covid, liberals came at me. I got a lot of “but what about Trump?” and “you’re drinking the Kool-Aid.” The second time I covered it, after Saturday Night Live went after him, I didn’t get one complaint from liberals. I’m still getting a bunch of “whatabouts” for my Biden/MBS cartoon and the one I drew yesterday on detaining migrant children.

No, I have not become a conservative. Two things have happened. A Democrat won the presidency and Andrew Cuomo keeps fucking up.

And this cartoon is not a “whatabout.” I’m not saying, “Leave Cuomo alone because Trump is worse.” We know Trump is worse. When it comes not punishing Saudi Arabia for murdering a journalist, or detaining migrant children, or sexual assault, Donald Trump is much worse than any Democrat. But I’ll repeat what I wrote a few days ago: We deserve better than Trump.

The “whatabout” argument doesn’t work. It doesn’t defend the person you’re trying to cover up for and if anything, it’s your admittance that your guy is guilty. If anything, being associated with Donald Trump is the worst insult. It’s the worst crime. Do you know who walks up to women who are not their wives and says, “How about a kiss?” Donald Trump, Joe Namath, and according to the latest accusation, Andrew Cuomo. And for the victims of all three, “Ew.”

A third woman has now accused New York Governor Andrew Cuomo of unwanted sexual advances. The first two, who are state employees, accused Cuomo of sexual harassment. The third, Anna Ruch, says Cuomo came up to her at a wedding, placed his hand on her back while she was wearing an open-back dress; she removed his hands, then he put his hands on her cheeks, and asked to kiss her. A friend of Ruch claimed it was loud enough for her to hear and has corroborated the story. It gets worse. There’s a photo from the wedding of Cuomo with his hands on Ms. Ruch’s cheeks. In the photo, she doesn’t look excited. In the photo, from where her arm is located, it looks like she’s about to do Mr. Miyagi’s wax off move.

Cuomo released a statement saying his words and actions have been “misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation” and said, “To the extent anyone felt that way, I am truly sorry about that.” That’s an apology where he’s sorry that it’s your fault. If that’s the defense he’s going to pull out, sorry, implement, then why doesn’t he just use the Trump defense and say they’re ugly and he’d never sexually harass, assault, or try to kiss a woman who doesn’t rate higher than a six?

Charlotte Bennett, a former aide to the governor said the apology was inadequate and, “These are not the actions of someone who simply feels misunderstood. They are the actions of an individual who wields his power to avoid justice.”

After calls were made for an investigation, Cuomo selected former federal Judge Barbara Jones to investigate claims of sexual harassment, but it was pointed out that he shouldn’t have a hand in the probe. Obviously, he likes to put his hands where they don’t belong. Cuomo shouldn’t be selecting who investigates him.

Then, Beth Garvey, special counsel and senior adviser to Cuomo, asked New York Attorney General Letitia James and Chief Judge Janet DiFiore to choose “an independent and qualified lawyer in private practice without political affiliation” to conduct a “thorough review” and issue a report on the matter in an effort to “avoid even the perception of a lack of independence or inference of politics.”

But the state AG knocked that one down too and said, “To clarify, I do not accept the governor’s proposal. The state’s Executive Law clearly gives my office the authority to investigate this matter once the governor provides a referral.”

“While I have deep respect for Chief Judge DiFiore, I am the duly elected attorney general and it is my responsibility to carry out this task, per Executive Law. The governor must provide this referral so an independent investigation with subpoena power can be conducted.”

That means the judge can’t be a part of the decision on who is going to investigate Cuomo, and his office can’t select who is going to make that decision. That resides only with the AG, who is now doing just that. James already has her hands full investigating Cuomo’s coverup of nursing home deaths and assorted Trump fuckery in the state. She’ll be handing the sexual harassment stuff to an independent investigator.

The Me Too movement is not a partisan thing. It’s not to be used politically to go after enemies. Wrong is wrong. It’s just as bad when a Democrat does it. When an old creeper is trying to force his tongue down your throat, or “grab you by the hoo-ha,” their political affiliation is less important than getting them to stop it.

Maybe a good rule of thumb for Democrats would be: What would Donald Trump do? Think about what that would be, then don’t do it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

De Joy of Child Detainment


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There is a difference between Donald Trump throwing kids into cages and Joe Biden keeping them in “shelters.” Donald Trump had a policy of separating families. That may not be the Biden policy, but what is Biden’s excuse for the thousands of children being held in these “shelters?”

Friday, White House Spokesperson, Jen Psaki said about the places where children are being held, “I would describe it as a place where we keep kids — who are under the age of 18 and taking a treacherous journey into this country — safe.”

Florida Senators, Marco Rubio and Rick Scott both chastised the Biden administration since one of these shelters is in Miami-Dade County. Rubio said, “Now it’s the Democrats who are putting kids in cages.” Marco, being one the dumbest senators in the Senate didn’t realize he admitted Trump was putting kids in cages. Rick Scott, who never criticized the Trump administration’s family separation policy, said, “What a bunch of hypocrites these Democrats are.”

The facility in Homestead, Florida was closed by the Trump administration in 2019, but is now being reopened by the Biden administration. It’s also a for-profit facility. Someone is making a profit off child detainment during the Biden administration. A facility in Texas closed by the Trump administration will also be reopening soon.

These shelters are designed to be temporary, but the children usually end up staying longer than policy or the law allows. These facilities are often unsanitary and are major health risks.

Didn’t we vote against this?

The number of unaccompanied minors arriving in this nation has increased in recent weeks. After arriving, mostly from Central America, they are quarantined for ten days because of the coronavirus pandemic, then shuttled to shelters around the country. Border Patrol says they intercepted more than 2,000 last week alone. There are fears the record set in May 2019, when over 11,000 arrived, will be broken this month.

The goal is to send these children to relatives in this country, but many will be fostered after being detained for months. A lot of these children arrive with names, addresses, and phone numbers of relatives in the United States. Even though they have contact information and a place to go, they’re still held for months in these “temporary” shelters. And often during this time, the contact information is lost and the government can’t find the child’s relatives.

Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez said, “This is not okay, never has been okay, never will be okay — no matter the administration or party.”

The main problem here is that children are being kept in “temporary” shelters longer than legally allowed. Many of the shelters are tents. Remember when the racist Arizona sheriff, Joe Arpaio (before he was arrested himself, charged, then pardoned by Trump because it was a great way to appeal to racists), was keeping prisoners in tents that human rights organizations said were inhumane? If keeping prisoners in tents in the desert is inhumane, then maybe we shouldn’t do it to kids. Also, Border Patrol is NOT the agency that is supposed to be keeping these children for long periods of time.

Neha Desai, director of immigration at the National Center for Youth Law in Oakland, California said, “Children must be swiftly transferred to state-licensed shelters for children, as required by law, and not detained for weeks in Border Patrol facilities that are fundamentally inappropriate and unsafe for children.”

Two things the Trump administration was good at losing: Migrant children and your mail. Joe Biden needs to fix both. As it is now, he’s still stuck with some Trump fuckery.

Louis DeJoy, the idiot Donald Trump had placed in charge of the Post Office, said he’s not leaving and Biden can’t fire him. Only the board can fire DeJoy, which is currently controlled by Trump appointees. Get this: During the Obama years, the Republican Senate refused to fill open seats on the board nominated by President Obama, then after Trump because president, they jammed all his appointees in. Now, Louis DeJoy, a fucknut Trump campaign donor who probably doesn’t know which side of a stamp to lick, is doing everything he can to demolish the United States Post Office.

President Joe Biden needs to do everything he can to demolish all remnants of the Trump legacy, including within the postal service and immigration.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

CPAC Cult


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Speaking at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Donald Trump Jr told the cult that maybe the organization should now be called “TPAC.” In case you’re slower than Donald Trump Jr, the “T” is for Trump. The should keep it as “CPAC,” but with the first “C” standing for “Cult.”

The Republican Party isn’t about conservatism anymore. It’s not about policy. It’s not even about Republicans. It’s about Donald Trump. His entire strategy to retake the White House is to run on his grievances because it’s all about him. The only policy is subservience to Donald Trump. This is not a party anymore. It’s a cult. And in case you had any doubts, just take one look at the golden statue, seriously, that was wheeled into the convention. They literally brought a golden statue of Donald Trump. Some in attendance at CPAC literally bowed down before it.

Saddam Hussein had statues made of him while he was still alive. He even named Baghdad’s airport after himself. By the way, there’s a movement by the Trump cult to rename a Florida airport after Donald Trump. Typically, leaders die before statues are built in their honor. You know, leaders much greater than Donald Trump like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Ronald McDonald.

Will Republicans soon be required to build shrines inside their homes to Donald Trump, like what’s required North Koreans for Kim Jong Un, his father, and grandfather?

This is what’s become of the GOP, the Grand Old Party. It’s a cult to Donald Trump and after four more years of this shit, worshipping a racist reality TV show host who was this nation’s worst president, who lost the popular vote twice, lost the House and Senate for his party, who continues the Big Lie of the stolen election, who instigates terrorists to attack the government in bloody coup attempts, and refuses a peaceful transfer of power to the president who defeated him in a democratic and free election, there will be nothing left of the Republican Party.

Even Mitch McConnell, who blamed Donald Trump for the attack on the Capitol and suggested he’ll be held accountable in a court of law on criminal charges, said he’ll support Donald Trump if he’s the nominee in 2024.

What’s left of the Republican Party is outrage over a stolen election that wasn’t stolen and Mr. Potato Head maybe not being Mr. anymore.

“The people at CPAC are living in an alternate reality in which facts don’t matter, the Constitution doesn’t matter. They have no principle except whatever their leader says.” Who said that? The former leader of CPAC, Mickey Edwards.

Edwards, who is also a former Oklahoma Congressman said, “The Republican Party really no longer stands for any kind of principles, conservative or otherwise. They’re no different than they are in Hungary…whatever the Great Leader says, they do.”

He also said, “The party seems now to be completely following the lead of one man wherever he goes, which is the definition of a cult. All that matters is ‘Trump is for this, we’re for this.’ And that includes denying truth, denying facts, denying reality.”

Edwards quit the Republican Party after the attack on the Capitol. Speakers at this year’s conference, appropriately being held in Florida, include Senators Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz, who helped instigate the terrorist attack. Edwards said the current leader, Matt Schlapp, doesn’t have his job because when Edwards was the head of CPAC, “it was a group that was based on conservative principles. We were strong supporters of the Constitution. We believed in free elections. We believed in democracy. These people don’t believe in any of those things.” Schlapp does not push conservative issues anymore. Instead, he has pushed Donald Trump’s bogus stolen election lie. Removing yourself from reality is now a requirement to be a member of the Republican Party.

The entire conference has been one of lie after lie followed by conspiracy theory followed by conspiracy theory. I can’t wait to hear what policies Trump focuses on during his speech later today.

Are you a still a Republican after the leader of your party has tried to undermine our constitution and encouraged terrorists to attack the government in a bloody coup attempt? Are you still a Republican after it has been co-opted by Qanon?

If you’re still a Republican, congratulations. You’re in a cult.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: