claytoonz

He’s Melting


cjones11222020

This is a bonus cartoon I drew on Thursday evening.

Rudy held a press conference where he claimed Joe Biden only won because of massive voter fraud, and blamed it on George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, the deceased Hugo Chavez, the nation of Venezuela, a communist plot, and backed it all up by referencing the film “My Cousin Vinny.”

Then his face started running. What? Whatever goop he used to dye the remaining strands of hair on his head started running. Maybe he shopped at the same spray-on-hair as Stephen Miller.

In Rudy’s defense though, “My Cousin Vinny” is a really good movie.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Deep-State Voter Fraud


cjones11212020

What’s dumber than believing Donald Trump won the election or that there’s a deep-state cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic lizard people running the government? Believing you can trust Donald Trump to work out a fair payment AFTER you perform a service for him.

Donald Trump has been sued numerous times by contractors for refusing to pay the price he agreed to in a contract. He’s even been sued by the lawyers who represented him in these disputes for non payments. So now Rudy Giuliani is publicly embarrassing himself for a price to be determined later.

Rudy is Trump’s lead legal fucknut in trying to steal the election from Joe Biden. In doing so, he has to present a case of total bullshit and conspiracy theories. Yesterday, Rudy argued a case in Pennsylvania and told the judge he wasn’t accusing anyone of voter fraud…and then blamed it all on voter fraud. He must have thought he was on Hannity.

There are reports that Rudy is charging $20,000 a day to represent Donald Trump in this attempt to steal the election. Rudy says those reports are lies…and you know how we can always trust Rudy to tell the truth. Rudy says they’ll work out a price after they’re done stealing the election and Donald Trump begins his second term.

Is Donald Trump stupid? Yes, he is, but he’s not dumb enough to pay Rudy $20,000 a day of his own money. His supporters are paying Rudy.

There’s only one thing dumber than voting for Donald Trump and that’s giving money to elect Donald Trump. His grifting is on public record. He publicly cried for an international summit to be given to one of his shitty golf resorts. A court has barred him and three of his shitty kids from participating with any charitable organizations in New York state because he stole from his own charity. Most people would go to prison for something like that. As president (sic), Donald Trump has directed millions of dollars of taxpayer money into his businesses. On top of all that, his campaign conducts events at his resorts where the Trump Campaign pays a fee to Donald Trump.

Giving money to support Donald Trump is like buying a new watch for the guy who stole your watch. So if you’re still giving money to the Trump Campaign, you’re giving it to Donald Trump. And if you’re dumb enough to give Trump money…are you dumb enough to believe a second Trump term will be saved by Rudy Giuliani, the guy who got scammed by Borat?

Part of this entire bullshit propaganda of Trump really winning the election and having it stolen by Democrats is to steal the election from Joe Biden. Another reason is to destroy faith in the government that takes over in January and make Joe Biden fail. But perhaps the greatest reason for this scam is that the Trump Campaign is still raising money for it.

But this time, it’s not going to a legal fight as much as it’s paying off campaign debt…and going into Donald Trump’s pockets. Maybe Trump will put the cash into his secret Chinese bank account or maybe he’ll put it towards the $500 million or so he owes to shady mystery creditors (probably Russians). Or maybe he’ll band use to pay off a real lawyer to help Rudy out the next time he tries to lure a teenage girl into a Manhattan hotel room supposedly for drinks while his hand is down his pants.

What’s almost just as crazy as believing Donald Trump will pay you later…or that Rudy Giuliani should lead your legal defense, is believing the election was stolen from Donald Trump.

70% of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election and it’s being stolen by Democrats. And just like they didn’t have proof when a majority believed President Obama was born in Kenya, they don’t have any proof of massive voter fraud.

But hey, Republicans don’t need proof for bullshit. Ask Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, or Donald Trump. And now with members of Qanon actually being elected to the United States Congress, anything goes.

Republicans don’t have any relationship with the truth. At this time, only four Republican senators have accepted that Joe Biden has won the election. Two Republicans senators are screaming for the secretary of state of Georgia to resign because he counted more votes for Biden than for Trump. Another senator has called the same secretary of state suggesting he throw out votes for Biden. You know, votes cast by black people.

Republicans don’t have integrity, don’t care about democracy, and don’t care about the truth. Don’t believe me? Let’s go grab dinner at Comet Pizza and ask them about it. Actually, I’m joking. I’d never have dinner with a Republican. I can’t eat while looking at you people.

Here’s a fact: Donald Trump will not be president after noon on January 20, 2021. Why? Because of the fact Joe Biden beat his ass in the presidential election. Donald Trump lost the election fair and square and there’s not enough Rudy bullshit in the world to change that fact.

Here’s an unfortunate fact: All these idiots who would rather believe in conspiracy theories about voter fraud, lizard people, devil worshippers, or Democratic pedophilic pizza makers, will still be around after Donald Trump is gone.

Another fun fact: Fuck COVID. I’m not going anywhere either.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Trump’s Gobblers


cjones11202020

Before the election, we worried about election interference from foreign nations like Russia, Iran, and China. After the election, we have to worry about election interference from Trump fuckers.

The sycophants are attacking our election after the results are in.

From the parking lot of a landscaping business he confused for a hotel and next to a dildo store, Rudy Giuliani spread lie after lie about election fraud. He’s gone onto Trump TV to continue spreading conspiracy theories. He’s made claim after claim about fraud and voting machines that are moving votes from Trump to Biden. All are lies.

Lindsey Graham, South Carolina’s Republican senator who just won reelection, called the Secretary of State of Georgia to inquire about the vote count there. In case you’re a Republican, Georgia is NOT in South Carolina. While on the call, Graham inquired as to how some votes for Joe Biden could be tossed out.

Last night in Michigan, where Joe Biden won, the Republicans on an election board refused to certify votes from Detroit which would have given Donald Trump the state. Joe Biden won Michigan with over 146,000 more votes than Donald Trump…and the Republicans tried to throw out all those votes. They relented and finally certified the votes after demanding an audit based upon Giuliani’s lies and bullshit. I guess they were hoping nobody was paying attention.

Also last night, Donald Trump fired Chris Krebs, the Department of Homeland Security official who issued an official press release stating the 2020 elections were the most secure in our nation’s history.

What are these people doing? They’re trying to steal an election. That’s the thing about Republicans. They love democracy as long as it gives them the results they want. If it doesn’t, then fuck democracy.

Don’t you think the Michigan Republicans took an oath, vow, or made some sort of promise to serve the people of Michigan honestly and with full integrity? I bet they didn’t promise to serve a cult, yet that’s exactly what they tried to get away with. This is called “Trump Fuckery.”

Before he was ever mayor, Rudy Giuliani was actually a highly respected prosecutor. Then something happened and today he’s serving up lies in the name of a cult. He’s serving as Trump’s top lawyer and has tried to rope Ukraine into running interference on behalf of Trump. Rudy has become the number one advocate for debunked conspiracy theories. What do you want to bet her never brought a conspiracy theory as evidence into a court room? Rudy’s reputation is shot and he will not be remembered as “America’s mayor.” Rudy will be remembered as a Trump flunky who served the cult while engaging in crazy conspiracy theories and Trump Fuckery.

Back in 2015 and 2016, Lindsey Graham was warning us about Donald Trump. He told us not to vote for him. He warned of Trump’s corruption and racism. After Trump was elected, Graham referred to him as “Mr. President-Elect,” a term he won’t use for Joe Biden. He’s told Donald Trump not to concede. He’s making calls into states he does not represent to pressure officials to thwart democracy. How would Lindsey feel if South Carolina threw out votes for him? Lindsey will forever be remembered as a brown-nosing sycophant who practiced Trump fuckery.

These people are trying to overturn a legal election and void the voice of the people. If they succeed, we will not have a president. We will have a dictator. If this election is overturned, we’ll never have another election ever again…at least not a real one.

Everything these people are doing, Giuliani, Graham, Trump, the Michigan fuckers, needs to be looked into legally. Have they broken the law? Maybe some people should be going to jail. Fortunately, after 12:00 PM January 20, 2021, Donald Trump can’t pardon anyone.

After Trump is out of the White House in January, we should have a second Thanksgiving because there’s going to be a lot to be thankful for and a lot of turkeys that deserve to be carved up.

I call dibs on a drum stick.

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Goodbye, Jerk


cjones11182020

Right now, Donald Trump is in the denial stage. He believes he’s won the election and it was stolen from him. But even Hitler in his bunker at some point realized the Soviets were knocking on his door and the war was lost.

Is Trump’s denial greater than Hitler’s? Donald Trump doesn’t even have evidence to base his “stolen election” argument on. Even his lawyers have had to admit that in court as they watch their cases get thrown out.

There is no plausible way for Donald Trump to win the election. He would have to get votes he doesn’t have, that don’t exist, to overturn multiple states where his margin of defeat is greater than his 2016 margin of victory. He would have to overturn an election in a state run by Republicans…where the votes were counted by Republicans. The last grasp for Donald Trump will be to convince Republican legislatures to violate their own state laws and give him their electors.

Donald Trump is in such denial that he’s put Rudy Giuliani in charge of his fraudulent case of election stealing. He’s put a sycophant in charge of stealing the election. The entire hopes of the Trump administration rests on the mind and skills of the guy who confused Four Seasons Hotel for Four Seasons Landscaping and held a press conferences next to a dildo store. Donald Trump has put all his faith into the guy who was tricked by Borat. I hope Rudy gets his own show on Trump TV.

A more likely outcome will be Donald Trump waddling out of the White House with his pants around his ankles and his arms with as much stuff as he can grift out of the White House…then spending the rest of his life tweeting that he’s still president.

As many people on social media have said, “Melania ‘be best’ packing.” But what all will Donald Trump pack. What will he grift from the government in his final weeks, days, hours? Seriously, they should check his pockets as he’s weebling out the door. For that matter, they should check every bag of every member of his administration. How much loot can Javanka carry out?

Prediction: Days, weeks, months, and years after he leaves the White House, we’ll read reports on what he and his administration took with them. Expect the large from government contracts, to the petty, like lamps and chairs. Look for stolen computer equipment and office furniture. Am I being petty? No. I have watched these people for the past four years and they don’t have ethics. They will steal everything that’s not nailed to the floor. In fact, maybe we should start nailing things to the floor. I just hope the Resolute Desk isn’t missing when Joe Biden walks into the Oval Office.

If Donald Trump wants a token from the worst presidential term in the history of presidents, American history, world history, history of the Kiwanis presidents, history of Hair Club for Men presidents…the worst ever…let him take that Andrew Jackson painting. Hopefully, we’ll never have another president as racist as Donald Trump who will want to hang it in the Oval Office. Donald Trump can take that Andrew Jackson painting and hang it in one of his shitty golf resorts next to all the fake Time Magazine covers.

This entire presidency has been delusional. We never got a wall on the border paid for by Mexico. They never found those millions of illegal votes from 2016. Trump never got that Nobel Prize. He’s not going to get his head on Mount Rushmore. And…he’s not going to get a second term.

Donald Trump will go out saying he doesn’t need anything…except your money, our money, MAGA rallies, and a TV network dedicated to his delusions so he can continue to spread lies and hate to his millions of fucknut followers.

But we don’t need Donald Trump, his lies, or his delusions.

Goodbye, Trump. Goodbye, Grifter. And if you haven’t stolen it, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Creative note: I used this concept in April, 2017. I thought I was in a good place since neither of my proofer’s remembered that.

Update: I’ll provide this update in tomorrow’s blog too. I think I should be open and share this as maybe it’ll help others. I got the phone call this morning and I have tested positive for the coronavirus.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Goodbye, Dumpster


CNN11152020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

Weeks before the election, I told a professional colleague that I bet Donald Trump wouldn’t attend the inauguration if he lost. He said, “who cares?”.

The worst things Donald Trump is doing over losing the election is undermining democracy, feeding into baseless conspiracy theories, and endangering the nation by hindering the transition.

Donald Trump was a sore winner so of course he’s a sore loser. He has spent his entire life as a baby. For someone who reportedly can’t stand being called a baby, he sure does act like one. And in being an obstacle and not allowing a transition, he’s proving he puts himself before the nation. I expect him to make more moves in the days and weeks that harm the nation, all in the act of a tamper tantrum.

But as for Donald Trump accepting defeat, conceding, stepping into reality, and stop being a delusional fact-free moron…who cares? We don’t need him for any of this. Sure, getting out of the way for the transition would be really nice and even beneficial…but when it comes to January 20 at noon, Donald Trump doesn’t have a say in it.

After noon on January 20 in regards to Donald Trump, we can all say, “Who cares?” Donald Trump and everyone who ever supported him belong in the dumpster of history.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Operation Bucket Trap


cjones11172020

Since Donald Trump projects, naturally he’d spend a week hiding inside the White House after spending months claiming Joe Biden was hiding in his basement.

When Joe Biden was staying home and wasn’t on the campaign trail, it was so he wouldn’t put lives in danger by campaigning. When Trump stays home hiding, it’s because he’s embarrassed that in the 2020 presidential election, he got his big orange ass handed to him.

Donald Trump held rally after rally, subjecting thousands to the coronavirus, and he still lost the election. Today, his followers will descend upon Washington for an anti-democracy protest.

Trump’s MAGAts are protesting under the pretense that the election was stolen. It wasn’t stolen. If anything, they’re trying to steal it. I know counter protesters will want to show up to make their voices heard as the MAGAts claim there will be a million of them, but please…if you’re opposing these people, stay home.

There will not be a million MAGAts in the district today. Maybe a few thousand. Most of them will not be masked. Liberals in Washington are very good at wearing masks. But this time, let the idiots have the streets. This could be another Trump super-spreader event. Let them hack on each other, not you. I’m blaming the possibility of having covid on MAGAts I saw on the metro giving me the stink eye for my RBG mask.

What these MAGAts want is a fascist ruler, not a democratic system. It’s what all Republicans want. And as they march around outside the White House, they know Donald Trump will be inside…hiding.

Donald Trump is hiding from reality. He’s hiding from facts. And he may be afraid to leave the White House as the locks may be changed while he’s out golfing. I hope it rains.

Donald Trump will never admit he lost the election. He may spend the rest of his life claiming he’s still president. They may even have to drag him out of the White House kicking and screaming.

I’m good with that. I wouldn’t mind seeing Donald Trump dragged out of the White House. But whoever has to do the dirty deed, remember…wear a face mask. These people are nasty.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Smooth Transition


cjones11162020

Republicans are all for stuff like democracy and free elections, that is…as long as they get the results they want. It’s like being given freedom of speech as long as you say the right things.

Not liking the election results, Republicans, led by Donald Trump, are screaming that massive fraud occurred and that’s the only reason Donald Trump lost. Republicans are so afraid of straying from the ridiculous talking points and giving credibility that our democratic process works, that only four Republican senators have congratulated Joe Biden on winning the election. In contrast, Hillary Clinton congratulated Donald Trump on election night in 2016.

For months, Donald Trump said the only way he could lose the election was if there was massive voter fraud. Donald Trump knew Joe Biden could beat him so even before the election, he tried to discredit the election. He knew Joe Biden could defeat him, so he broke the law and violated his oath of office by asking a foreign nation to help him dig up dirt on Joe Biden. Donald Trump even withheld foreign military aid to that nation, while they were being attacked by Russia, until they delivered dirt on Biden. Donald Trump was impeached for breaking the law and trying to steal an election.

Republicans were fine with Donald Trump violating his oath of office and his attempt to steal an election so of course, they’re fine now with the lie that Democrats stole the election. How much more proof do you need that Republicans don’t care about the rule of law and democracy? How much more proof do you need that the GOP is nothing more than a sycophantic, Kool-Aid drinking cult?

Here’s one question: Who stole the election? Yeah, I get that it was Democrats, but which Democrats? Who was in charge? Who ran it? I mean, was it all one big cannibalistic pedophiliac deep state that stole the election from Donald Trump in Pennsylvania, Arizona, Michigan, Wisconsin, Nevada, and even in Republican-controlled Georgia, while not tampering with the part on those ballots that featured Republican senate candidates? How did Democrats lose an election while not winning the U.S. Senate and while losing House seats? How are ballots fake when they’re for Joe Biden but the same ballots not being fake when they’re for a Republican senate candidate? Are the ballots only half fake? How are the results fraudulent only in states Biden won, and by larger numbers than Trump beat Clinton with?

To be a MAGAt, you have to suspend reality.

Donald Trump has told over 22,000 lies, one of those being that there were millions of illegal voters in the 2016 election. He never proved that. So why is anyone buying into his election fraud bullshit now? Are we going to become the United States of Qanon? Will Republicans forever claim the 2020 election was stolen from them…like they’ll forever claim Pizzagate is real and Obama was born in Kenya?

Yesterday, the Department of Homeland Security issued a statement that the 2020 election was the “most secure in American history.” This is Donald Trump’s own DHS. That Democratic-run deep state runs deep.

One thing that’s kinda funny, well amusing to me, is that Donald Trump often talked about having a third presidential term…and voters didn’t want him to have a second.

Donald Trump has praised China’s leader for becoming that nations president for life. He’s made a few references about it in regards to himself which I’d be fine with if he was trying to president for life of China. Donald Trump loves his dictators. He’s rather spend a weekend exchanging love letters with Kim Jong Un, getting back scratches from Rodrigro Duterte, playing nine holes with Recip Erdogan, and kissing Vladimir Putin’s ass in Helsinki, than spend time with Democratically-elected leaders.

Another one of Donald Trump’s lies is that President Obama spied on his 2016 campaign, which he has called treason. He also says it should allow him that third term.

I’m not a constitutional law expert so that’s probably why I can’t find it anywhere in the United States Constitution where a president can get a third term in office if his predecessor spies on his presidential campaign. I also can’t find under which amendment that a president can ignore election results when he loses the election.

That’s what Republicans are doing. They’re ignoring an election. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo ever referred to the Constitution when talking about a “smooth transition” into a SECOND Trump administration.

Here’s the thing about that: The Constitution doesn’t spell out that we elect our president. Article II, Section 1, Clauses 2 and 3, state the president is choses by electors in each state. It’s practice they simply follow the election returns and never conduct substantive discussion or debate about who should be president. This may be what Pompeo is talking about…which means there has been substantive discussion on it between Republicans.

It’s a hail Mary attempt, but a lot of Republicans are envisioning stealing the election through the electors…if they can convince them to ignore election results.

It’s why they’re refusing to call Joe Biden “President-Elect Joe Biden” It’s why all departments have been told to budget for next year as though all those department heads will still be there in 2021, unless Trump has them fired for not being sufficiently sycophantic. It’s why the State Department won’t even pass on congrats to Biden from other nations. It’s why Republicans are saying Trump won 2020 in a massive landslide. It’s why the Trump administration isn’t allowing for a transfer of power. It’s why MAGAts like Mike Pompeo are talking about a “smooth transition” into a second Trump administration.

I can promise you this: If they have to steal it, it won’t be “smooth”

I thought it would be death for our democracy if Trump won the election. How could I have predicted the death of our democracy would come from his losing?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Hanging On A Vote Count


cjones11152020

In Georgia, Republican Senators David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler are headed to runoffs.

Perdue’s election is on the regular schedule for his seat but Loeffler’s is a special election since she was appointed to fill a vacant seat. They’re both very upset over the results in their state in last week’s election. And it’s not that they’re upset over their outcome, but of that for Donald Trump.

Ya’ see, kids…David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler are obedient sycophants. They represent the party that’s more about the cult than the party that’s concerned over policy. This Republican Party does not care about democracy or the rule of law. These two senators believe there should be punishment inflicted upon those who don’t use their position or even break the law for Dear Leader. And if a person performs the duties of their job appropriately and it doesn’t serve Trump, then that person has to go.

Perdue and Loeffler are calling upon Georgia’s Secretary of State, Brad Raffensperger, a fellow Republican, to resign because he counted more votes for Joe Biden than he did for Donald Trump.

There’s a very good reason why Raffensperger counted more votes for Joe Biden than for Donald Trump in Georgia and that’s because more people in Georgia voted for Joe Biden than for Donald Trump.

Georgia is run by Republicans and they’re all upset that Joe Biden has won the state. They have scheduled a hand-recount and they haven’t even finished the first count. Funny thing is, in 2018, Georgia’s then-Secretary of State, Brian Kemp, removed thousands of black voters from the being eligible to vote and, surprise surprise, he won the gubernatorial election. The man literally voted on his voters. These Republicans didn’t have an issue with that vote count.

Now, David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler are calling the election and “embarrassment” and these two Riff Raffs are accusing Raffensperger of “mismanagement” and “lack of transparency.” Just like the accusations Republicans are making in other states over Donald Trump losing, these two didn’t have proof, examples, specifics, evidence, etc. Their only grounds are that Dear Leader didn’t win.

Democrats did not steal this election. If they did, there wouldn’t be two senate runoffs. Republicans won’t be able to overturn the election in any state and they’d need several to give Trump enough votes to win the electoral college.

The facts are Donald Trump lost the election and Joe Biden is the president-elect of the United States of America. Since they don’t like those facts, elections, or democracy, I don’t know why Republicans are playing around with recounts and lawsuits. Why don’t they just cancel all elections, ignore the recent one, and declare themselves winners? They can declare Donald Trump president for life and install themselves as his minions with government salaries and free healthcare.

Republicans don’t care about democracy or the United States Constitution because they are trying to steal an election. They only care about the cult of Trump. Their unwillingness to accept election results is proof they never considered impeachment for Trump or cared that he broke the law in that matter.

Republicans, you lost. Get over it. Go over to that racist social media platform, Parlor, and gripe about it there.

But since we’re still using elections to select our leaders, pay attention in Georgia. And here’s a tip when you vote: Don’t vote for motherfuckers who want to steal your vote. Don’t vote for motherfuckers who don’t believe in the sanctity of democracy and fair elections. Don’t vote for motherfuckers who want to punish people because they don’t like the legal outcome. Don’t vote for undemocratic motherfuckers. Don’t vote for motherfuckers who will put Dear Leader over their duties as elected members of the United States Senate.

Georgia, you can do better than being represented by cowards and sycophants. Make it happen.

Note: I used to live in Georgia back in the early 80s.

Other note: My son has tested positive for the coronavirus. And totally unrelated, I have been experiencing symptoms. I’m taking a test tomorrow afternoon. I can’t smell anything. I can’t even smell the GOP bullshit.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Coups For Dummies


cjones11142020

On November 10, 2016, President Obama hosted President-elect (sic) Donald Trump in the White House. Vice-President Joe Biden hosted vice-president elect (sic) Mike Pence in the VP residence. First Lady Michelle Obama gave a White House tour to Melania Trump. Today, it’s November 11, 2020, and instead of inviting the future president of the United States to the White House, Donald Trump is hiding inside his bunker in denial he lost. What makes this even worse is that he has enablers. These enablers are helping Donald Trump thwart democracy.

Republicans are pointing out that Democrats whined about the 2016 election. This is true. I whined. I didn’t like the results. I still don’t like it. But while I said the election was tampered with and Russia meddled, I never said any ballots were fraudulent. No Democrats opposed the transition of power. Today, the Trump administration is not allowing a transfer of power.

The Trump Administration could still pursue legal challenges over the election while allowing the process of a transition to happen. That would be in the best interest of the nation. Instead, offices are not being created for the transition, funds aren’t being released, and the next president isn’t even being given security briefings. These were all acts afforded to Donald Trump when he was the incoming president (sic).

The United States condemns leaders of other nations who refuse to leave office and give up power after losing fair elections. Now, our leader (sic) is refusing to give up power and is hiding inside his palace sending his minions out to help him stage a coup. Donald Trump has not been seen since last Thursday.

Mitch McConnell is supporting Trump’s legal challenges even though there isn’t any evidence of massive voter fraud. Lindsey Graham is telling Trump not to concede. McConnell and Graham both won their Senate elections last week but neither one of these two men refused their opponent’s concessions.

Ted Cruz says allowing the media to declare the winner is not how we do it in America. Except, he was more than happy to accept the media’s declaration of a winner in 2016. He was more than happy to accept their declaration in 2018 when he won reelection to the Senate.

When asked if he had congratulated President-Elect Joe Biden yet, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, whose state went for Biden, said he doesn’t have anything to congratulate Biden for.

Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana said, “We have got to allow our courts to hear these allegations of voting irregularities by the president.” You may as well allow the courts to hear allegations of lizard people running our government too because you have just as much evidence of that as you do of voter fraud.

North Carolina’s Thom Tillis was finally declared the winner of his race yesterday and he said about the presidential election, “Every vote legally cast must be counted.” Who says they shouldn’t? Who says they haven’t been counted? Guess what. Tillis didn’t stop his opponent from conceding saying, “Every legal vote must be counted” bullshit.

Isn’t it fucked up that right after you elect someone, that they make a pronouncement against democracy and fair elections?

Attorney General William Barr is releasing the Justice Department’s legal hounds to fight Trump’s loss in the courts. Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani is holding press conferences outside dildo shops claiming the election was stolen from Trump.

It’s funny Democrats stole the election for Biden while simultaneously losing the Senate and seats in the House. It’s also funny that it hasn’t occurred to any of these Republicans claiming fraudulent ballots, that they also have their names on those “fraudulent” ballots. If we’re going to wipe out who won the election, that should also mean we wipe out all those Republican victories. Should we wipe out McConnell’s, Graham’s, and Tillis’ victories?

Each government department is being told to prepare their budgets for next year as though the administration will still be operating. As if they’re still going to be in town and not all applying at Fox News at the same time. And Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, the nation’s top diplomat has said there will be a “smooth transition…to a SECOND Trump administration.”

What the fuck? The top diplomat or the world’s leading democracy is telling the world we don’t obey election results anymore. Pompeo said the eletion has not been decided. It has LITERALLY been decided.

Can you imagine the outrage if instead of conceding the election the day after, Hillary Clinton had refused to admit defeat, mounted legal challenged, and claimed the election had been stolen? Can you imagine if instead of inviting Trump to the White House, President Obama had refused to release transition funding?

In Michigan, Trump beat Clinton by 10,704 votes in 2016. In 2020 in Michigan, Biden beat Trump by over 146,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 146,000 is greater than 10,000.

In Pennsylvania, Trump beat Clinton by 46,765. In 2020 in Pennsylvania, Biden beat Trump by over 48,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 48,000 is more than 46,000. Now, Trump is suing to overturn the election in Pennsylvania.

As the counting continues, Biden is heading for a 306 electoral vote win. That’s the exact same amount Trump won with in 2016. How are they going to win the presidency by overturning one state without any actual evidence of election fraud? They would need to overturn more than one state. Maybe they can do it in Georgia where the two GOP senators are calling for their own Republican Secretary of State to resign because they don’t like that his count shows Donald Trump is losing.

This is banana republic type shit here, people. This is a coup attempt. Maybe people like Pompeo are just trying to appease Trump for now. Maybe Pompeo is a coward. He wants to appease Trump’s base for when he runs for the Senate in Kansas or even for the presidency in 2024, if Trump doesn’t. Or maybe, he’s afraid of being fired two months before he’s scheduled to lose his job. Trump is already lashing out and firing people.

Maybe people like Mitch McConnell, John Kennedy (not the good one), Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Thom Tillis, and Ted Cruz are all just big, fat ass kissers. Or…they’re trying to steal an election and are engaging in a coup.

I predicted before the election that Joe Biden would win…but I did not predict he’d take the White House because I was afraid the Republicans would try to steal the election. Even before the election, Trump said the only way he could lose was if there was corruption and voter fraud. Boy, did I call it or did I call it?

We know this about Trump supporters: They are all cowards. They have made their party into one of a cult. They put one man before their nation. They are putting one man before democracy. They don’t care if they turn our democracy into a dictatorship.

The Trump administration will NOT legally continue, but the resistance must.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Big Girls Don’t Cry


cjones11132020

Of course, the accusations of voter fraud being leveled by Donald Trump are total and complete bullshit. These are the actions of a sore loser. But even without any actual evidence of voter fraud, Trump’s personal Roy Cohn Attorney General William Barr, is having the Justice Department investigate it. Let’s hope he’s more capable than Rudy Giuliani.

But if you’re going on a conspiracy theory snipe hunt, who better to lead the hunt than Rudy? Rudy can do the job with one hand tied behind his back…or more specifically, shoved down his own pants while in a hotel room with Borat’s teenage daughter.

In an attempt to steal an election, Republicans are claiming Democrats are trying to steal the election. They’re saying the media can’t declare a victor even though they had no problem with that four years ago. Republicans are claiming massive acts of voter fraud occurred in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, even though the margins Biden has beaten Trump in each of those states are much larger than the margins Trump beat Clinton with.

And while the Trump campaign is filing lawsuits in multiple states, their battle is focused on Pennsylvania, which put Biden over 270 to win the presidency and make Donald Trump a one-term loser. And it’s in Pennsylvania where Rudy Giuliani called a hastily-planned press conference last Saturday to spread conspiracy theories.

Donald Trump tweeted that the press conference would be conducted at the Four Seasons hotel in Philadelphia. The hotel quickly tweeted out, “Uh-uh.”

The Four Seasons HOTEL tweeted, “To clarify, President Trump’s press conference will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia. It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping— no relation with the hotel.” The hotel sounded like Han Solo in the Death Star’s cellblock. Please don’t send stormtroopers down here. Or in this case, please don’t send MAGAts over here.

Wait. If it wasn’t held at the Four Seasons HOTEL, then where was it held? The Four Seasons Total Landscaping? Where is that? Oh, it’s in an industrial park next to Fantasy Island Adult Books and Novelties and across the street from the Delaware Valley Cremation Center. To capture the spirit of the environment, which was a parking lot, Rudy even brought along a sex offender. Seriously.

While the internet was amused, with tweets mocking Rudy, people designing their own T-shirts for the landscaping company, and crazy reviews hitting it on Yelp and Google, not everyonewas having fun.

A 78-year-old employee manning the counter at the sex shop grew annoyed that people kept calling asking, “Is Rudy Giuliani there?” He was tired of screaming at people over the phone, “Stop calling here asking that…and yes. He’s been here for hours!”

With the amount of bullshit Rudy spread, he’s probably the first person to bring his own fertilizer to a landscaping company. If Donald Trump is hinging his presidency on the mind of Rudy Giuliani, we may as well swear in Joe Biden now.

There is no proof of massive voter fraud in the 2020 election, but there’s LOTS of proof Rudy Giuliani is insane.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.