claytoonz

Hello, Costa Rica Baby


crsta12282018

This cartoon was first published December 31, 2018, in The Costa Rica Star. Yeah, it ran last year.

This is my annual Baby New Year cartoon, and I used it for The Star. I did another with the baby for my syndication, but that was a lot different. This is one cliché I’m kinda OK with, depending on how it’s used.  I feel like it’s almost mandatory for newspapers to run one of these, so it’s like I better draw one.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Impeach The MF’er


cjones01102019

Yeah, if you have an issue with a congresswoman saying MF’er but you were silent the multiple times Trump used vulgarity, you’re an MF’ing hypocrite.

This is a bonus cartoon I was going to save until tomorrow, but I’m kinda excited for you to see it. So, I’m not sitting on it for a day.

However, you’re not getting a true blog with it because I’m tired and I want to go watch some football and eat chicken wings. See you Monday morning, fuckers.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Putin Talking Points


cjones01092019

Did you know the reason the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan in 1979 was because of terrorism? Did you know the Soviet Union had the right to invade them? Did you know it led to the Soviet Union being called “Russia” today? Yeah, me neither.

First, a quick little history lesson.

Afghanistan was a puppet government of the Soviet Union. When an insurgency popped up, initially backed by Pakistan and Iran, the Soviet Union invaded to protect their puppet state. Their justification was the Brezhnev Doctrine, which was a policy they used to justify their “right” to intervene in the affairs of communist countries. This was a big deal during the Cold War and the Soviets had argued this policy when intervening in uprisings in Hungary and Czechoslovakia, retroactively. Russians are real big about revisionism, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Leonid Brezhnev was the head of the Soviet Union and he sent Soviet forces into his southern neighbor where they fought for ten years trying to protect communism. By the end of the war, the Soviets lost nearly 15,000 soldiers and their Afghan allies lost around 18,000. It’s estimated they had killed between 75,000 to 90,000 of the Mujahideen, the forces trying to restore Afghanistan back to an Islamist state.

Between 562,000 to two million civilians were killed with around three million wounded. There were about five million refugees and two million displaced.

The United States, along with the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, West Germany, Pakistan, and China, were aiding the Mujahideen (which included the likes of Osama bin Laden). Go rent Charlie Wilson’s War.

President Jimmy Carter’s administration opposed the Soviet invasion and even boycotted participating in the Moscow Olympics over it. President Ronald Reagan continued Carter’s policy of support against the Soviet Union. These were two presidents, Democratic and Republican who knew that the Russians were not our friend.

Earlier this week while engaging in an incoherent rant at a cabinet meeting, Donald Trump, the current president of the United States, said, “The reason Russia was in Afghanistan was because terrorists were going into Russia. They were right to be there. The problem is, it was a tough fight. And literally, they went bankrupt; they went into being called Russia again, as opposed to the Soviet Union. You know, a lot of these places you’re reading about now are no longer part of Russia because of Afghanistan.”

His rambling kinda reminded me of my college history professor, who was also insane. He once went on a rant about how great Montreal was until draft dodging American hippies went up there and pooped on the sidewalks. The subject we were on was not Vietnam or Canadian history. Fortunately, it wasn’t on the test.

I don’t know if my college professor was accurate at any part of his rant, or if he was off his meds like our president, but everything Donald Trump said was bullshit.

The war was not about terrorism, they did not have the right to be there, and Afghanistan is just one of many factors leading to the collapse of the Soviet Union. But where did Donald Trump get this idea about the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan? I was a kid and I remember all of this, so surely an old orange racist fart like Donald Trump would remember it. Right? Since there has never been any sort of revisionist campaign in this nation about the Soviet’s invasion, how could Trump come up with such a cockamamie description? Putin.

Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has much control over Trump, has initiated a propaganda campaign describing the war exactly as Donald Trump did. So, did Trump get this description from his master? Probably, but when? Did Putin feed it into his head during their private off-the-record chat in Helsinki? Probably.

Once again, Trump is doing Putin’s bidding. He’s advocating for Russian propaganda and even that nation’s pride. He’s arguing they had the right to invade their neighbor, undermining American policy and patriotism of Presidents Carter and Reagan.

The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, a friend to Trump’s policies and owned by Rupert Murdoch, called Trump’s history lesson “reprehensible.”

They wrote, “We cannot recall a more absurd misstatement of history by an American President.”

I can’t recall a more absurd human to occupy the office of the American presidency. I also can’t recall one more stupid, racist, traitorous, despicable, stupid, sexists, and appeasing to Russia.

Did I mention “stupid” more than once? I’m fine with that.

Trump is Putin’s puppet, and he appeases him again and again. He’s defended Russia’s attack on our democracy and now he’s advocating for Putin’s propaganda. I think Trump’s comments is further justification for his impeachment. I hope Mueller is taking notes.

Trump and Putin are trying to rewrite history. I assure you, history won’t be kind to them. Instead of rewriting history, I’d rather see Trump become history.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Greetings For The 116th


cjones01082019

Yesterday was a historic day for Congress.

Nancy Pelosi became the first person elected as Speaker after leaving the position since Sam Rayburn in 1955. She remains the only women ever elected to the position.

There were several other historic achievements for women with the 116th Congress.

We saw the swearing-in of the first Native American women elected to Congress, Deb Haaland and Sharice Davids, the first Muslim women elected to Congress, Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar, and the youngest member ever elected, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Cortez has become the Right’s favorite new symbol of scary women. Google “Alexandria Ocasio Cortez Brietbart” and see what comes up. They’re obsessing about her almost as much as they are about black crime.

Yesterday, Republicans groaned and booed her when she cast her vote for Pelosi. She was the only person they booed for voting. Republicans also released a video of her dancing with friends from her college days. Nothing salacious, evil, or malicious about the dancing, as they were doing a play on The Breakfast Club. But for some reason, this is a scandal for the GOP. If Footloose Kevin Bacon becomes a transexual and runs for Congress, they will totally flip out.

Mike Pence, a man afraid to be alone in a room with a woman who is not his wife, got a little thrill when he not only had to swear women in with a Quran but also the first openly bisexual woman elected to Congress. Kyrsten Sinema chose to be sworn in on a law book instead of the Bible. Pence probably experiences as much discomfort with the Constitution as he does with the Quran and “nasty” women capable of having their own thoughts.

The Women’s March in 2017 continued into the halls of Congress yesterday, and Republicans are petrified. They don’t know how to gerrymander the women vote.

More people are voting for Democrats now than for Republicans. In 2016 and 2018, the majority of the nation voted against Donald Trump. Despite controlling the Senate, more people voted for Democratic candidates. Women aren’t just voting and getting more involved with activism, they’re running for office. Cortez, an educated, socialist, woman who is not white represents everything they fear. The future.

I personally believe we need to keep electing more women, non-whites, and people with different religious beliefs to positions of power. We are a diverse nation. Our government should represent that.

Yesterday presented us with two contrasting images. One was of the most diverse Congress in history being sworn in. The other was Donald Trump surrounded by a bunch of old bald white guys griping about immigrants.

Guess which one represents your future.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

DIY Racist Political Cartoon


cjones01072019

As soon as Elizabeth Warren’s name is mentioned, somewhere a political cartoonist starts drawing her with a tom-tom, tomahawk, smoke signal, war paint, etc. I’m surprised I haven’t seen one of her campaign HQ being a teepee (there’s a free one for ya’, boys). Don’t believe me? Do a Google image search for “Elizabeth Warren cartoon.” It’s embarrassing.

I decided to save Warren haters some work and give them the tools they need to put together their very own racist Elizabeth Warren cartoon. Have fun. Be responsible. Use children scissors so you don’t hurt yourself.

You’re not getting a long blog today because I’m running late and my proofreader Frank (yeah, Frank. I’m using you as an excuse) doesn’t have as much time, as usual to save me from myself today. I spent hours researching stereotypes and each time I thought I was done and had filled enough space, I’d think of another one. I started with six.

By the way and just because I think it needs reminding; Donald Trump still hasn’t paid that $1 million to charity for Warren taking a DNA test.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Dr. Pimple Popper


cjones01062019

No. I did not pull this out of my butt. Doctor Pimple Popper is actually a thing. If you haven’t heard about it before, now you will.

Anytime something new enters the pop culture lexicon, political cartoonists think, “Can I use this for a cartoon”? It’s something I had to train my brain to do when I first started cartooning, and I’m still working on it. Sometimes, I have to see it three or four times before it occurs to me that it might be a cartoon. My brain can be slow. That was the case with Dr. Pimple Popper.

Doc Popper is pretty new for pop culture despite being around since 2010. I’m sure my use of it with this cartoon will make a few other cartoonists think, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Every cartoonist, including myself have done that. As for being the first to use this reference, it helps that most of my colleagues haven’t returned to their drawing tables yet after the holidays. Lazy bastards.

Instead of thinking about a cartoon the first time I saw a reference to Dr. Pimple Popper, I thought, “EW! I don’t want to see that.” When I was a teenager, I felt like God was punishing my face with acne. I really felt persecuted. My son got it even worse than I did, which made me feel guilty as hell. I have seen enough acne treatment to last two lifetimes, which is how long it does seem to last. So, I don’t need to see any television shows about popping pimples. I’m good.

But, guess what. There’s a TV show about popping pimples. Right when I’m wondering how many seasons The Walking Dead can get out of killing zombies; Dr. Pimple Popper has been renewed for a second season. But, hey. If Honey Boo Boo can get fives seasons, why can’t pimples get two?

Dr. Sandra Lee is Dr. Pimple Popper. She started uploading videos to YouTube of popping pimples in 2010. From that, she got her own TV show. Meanwhile, my YouTube channel of these cartoons being drawn and my witty commentary only has 254 subscribers after nearly a year. Pimples are more popular than my cartoons.

Dr. Lee’s show started on TLC (which I’m sure stands for something) back in July. The second season starts later this month. Last month, it had its own Christmas special. IT HAD ITS OWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! What did they call it, “Its a zitty Christmas, Charlie Brown?”

Our nation is experiencing a breakout of stupidity and just really bad taste. People are famous for being famous. It shouldn’t surprise me that we’re watching reality shows about popping pimples when our president was a reality show celebrity endorsed by Duck Dynasty reality celebrities. Are we living in a Simpson’s episode? When you think about it, it’s shocking there isn’t a Kardashian in the United States Senate.

Hopefully, Robert Mueller pops that one great big, giant, racist zit that’s revealed the ugliness of our nation, but I’m not sure anything can save us from the rest of the outbreak that is Trump sycophants.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Crazy For Obama


cjones01052019

Continuing with his obsession with former president Barack Obama, Trump used the fence around his house to justify building a wall on our border with Mexico.

Trump tweeted, “President and Mrs. Obama built/has a ten foot Wall around their D.C. mansion/compound. I agree, totally necessary for their safety and security. The U.S. needs the same thing, slightly larger version!”

It’s almost like Trump has to remind us on a daily basis he’s a liar and an idiot.

There is not a ten-foot wall around the Obama’s home in Washington. There’s not even a wall. It’s a fence. Also, I don’t think their home is a compound and while it’s a large home, it’s probably not something most people would call a mansion unless they struck black gold in Tennessee.

But, why point at Obama’s house to argue for a wall on our border? Oh, yeah. That’s the idiotic part. I’ve also seen Trump sycophants make the same argument on social media, equating fenced yards with a wall on the border.

A yard is not fenced to keep people out. If someone wants in your yard bad enough, a fence isn’t going to stop them. Usually, it’s to keep your dog in. It’s also for privacy. Also, people are not coming to your house seeking asylum or because they’re afraid they’re going to die in their house. No one is taking over your spare bedroom, declaring sanctuary, and hoping you don’t check their papers to see if they’re not actually related to you. It’s just a ridiculous argument made by ridiculous people, like the current president of the United States. God help us.

It was also irresponsible of Trump to tweet about Obama’s home and the security situation. He spent years riling up his base with Obama hatred, accusing him of not being a natural-born citizen, and later falsely claiming he had Trump Tower wiretapped.

Michelle Obama writes in her new book, “I was briefed from time to time by the Secret Service on the more serious threats that came in and understood that there were people capable of being stirred.”

“Donald Trump, with his loud and reckless innuendos, was putting my family’s safety at risk. And for this, I’d never forgive him.”

When this is all said and done, I think there’s going to be a lot of stuff we’ll never forgive Donald Trump for.

Trump does not care about the Obama family’s safety, or anyone else’s for that matter. He might even rejoice if misfortune hits them. I’m shocked he didn’t tweet their address with directions.

Yesterday, I tweeted, “It’s a good thing the Obamas have a ‘wall’ around their house, because as soon as finds out he just installed a pool, he’s gonna go over and try to pee in it.”

Or at the very least, he’d send a couple of Russian hookers over to do it for him.”

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.