Republicans

Republican Hypocrites


cjones09232020

“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”

That was Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2016 after the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia left a vacancy. If you were unsure if McConnell was full of shit then, today’s actions by him and his GOP colleagues confirms it.

The Republican argument in having a new position is that now, the president (sic) and Senate are of the same party. But, that doesn’t change the fact there is an election in 43 days. That doesn’t change the fact we can have a new president and even a new Senate in January.

The fact of the matter is, Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, and the Republican Party don’t care about being hypocrites. They never had integrity or a sense of fairness. The only reason they bark out some stupid bullshit about the president (sic) and Senate being the same party now, something they didn’t stipulate in 2016, is because they need some bullshit. I mean, they can’t just come out and say it’s a power grab and they don’t care. They can’t admit they’re hypocrites.

If they had to, they’d create some new crap like there’s a exception for a president with a bad combover.

McConnell was on Sean Hannity’s show fairly recently where Hannity praised Trump for being so much better than President Obama at nominating judges. McConnell actually corrected him and said Obama was good at nominating, but that he, McConnell, was good at blocking them. Then McConnell let out a sick giggle.

Republicans don’t care about decency, fairness, or integrity. They definitely don’t care about the Constitution. And hey, when it’s all said and done, the court may not matter if we’re in a fascist system.

But, they’re rushing to fill this seat because the argument they clung to in 2016 may be true this year. Donald Trump may be rejected by the American people again, but this time, tossed out of office. The United States Senate may be in Democratic control. The fact the Republicans are forcing this vote on a new justice, before the election or the end of the year, is because it’s a power grab. It’s because they’re afraid the people will have a say.

In fact, a new poll shows that 62 percent of Americans want the confirmation to wait. Maybe America feels kinda weird about an impeached president making lifetime appointments to the highest court in the nation.

When McConnell made the statement about Americans having a say in their next Supreme Court Justice, he said, “THEIR” Supreme Court Justice. He was momentarily correct in that the seat belongs to us, not to the Republican or Democratic Party. They’re playing politics with our lives for the next forty years. In a few months, their politics may mean an end to legal abortion. It may mean an end to healthcare coverage for millions of Americans.

I can change my positions too. I was against adding new seats to the court. Now, I’m for it. If the Republicans are going to steal seats from Democrats and refuse to play by their own rules, and a stupid, racist president who is a tool of Russia can’t nominate anyone who can garner 60 votes, then let’s do some power grabbing of our own. Increase the number of seats and while we’re at it, let’s make Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico states. That’ll give Democrats four more Senate seats.

What’s good for the goose is good for the hypocritical gander.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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Republican Rescue


cjones08052020

After Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico in 2017, Donald Trump went to the island, after discovering it was an island, and threw out paper towels. Then, he proceeded to lie about the death toll and trash the residents of the United States territory, after he found out it was a United States territory.

Today, a lot of people still don’t get the fact, despite three years of evidence, that Donald Trump doesn’t give a flying fuck about anything unless it’s Donald Trump.

Take Donald Trump’s latest interview with Axios. When asked if he was impressed by the late congressman and civil rights icon John Lewis, Trump couldn’t answer the question except to complain Lewis didn’t come to his inauguration or his State of the Union speeches. Again, for Donald Trump, it’s all about DonaldTrump.

While millions of Americans are still unemployed with the extra $600 a week unemployment benefit expiring and facing evictions, Congress went on a three-day weekend. Democrats have had a plan on the table for months. It passed the House while it’s languished in the Senate. Republicans don’t like it because it’s too nice and doesn’t help out enough billionaire assholes. Republicans are afraid it’ll make poor and middle-class people lazy and a bunch of grifters, you know…like the president (sic).

Initially, the Trump White House, with negotiations led by Treasury Secretary Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, demanded cuts to testing and to the Center for Disease Control in a pandemic that’s killed over 150,000 Americans. But guess what the White House did demand to be inserted into the relief package?

Donald Trump has demanded at least $1.8 billion in the relief package to go for a new FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C. You might ask yourself, What the fuck does that have to do with the coronavirus? How does that help out anybody being hurt by this pandemic?

The answer is, it doesn’t. As Donald Trump said in that Axios interview about the death toll, “It is what it is.”

Before Trump came into office, there were plans to move the FBI headquarters out of the city. Maryland and Virginia both wanted the new HQ and that was the initial squabble. It’s a lot of money and jobs. Washington actually wants it to leave the city so they can use that prime downtown space for retail and make much more money from taxes than from another bloated government agency that Donald Trump has turned into his own personal goon squad.

Why does Donald Trump want the building to stay in the capital? The cynical person would bet it’s because Donald Trump has a financial stake in it. Shame on those cynics. Shame, for shame. The truth is…yeah. That prime retail space might go towards a hotel…one that would compete directly against the Trump Hotel which is nearby. Fortunately, it has been removed because it was even hard for Republican assholes to swallow.

Donald Trump also wants the government to receive a finders fee, gratuity, or tribute for the sale of the Chinese app, TikTok, if Microsoft buys it. I know deep down inside this story, there’s a payoff to Trump. Also, what happened to Republicans being against heavy regulations and higher payouts to the government? This is weird. What do Republicans really believe in anymore?

While running for president, Donald Trump promised a replacement for Obamacare. He said it was going to be “bigger, better, and cheaper.” We still haven’t seen it. He promised they wouldn’t try to repeal Obamacare until they had a replacement. They ended up trying, and failing, to repeal it before they had a replacement. Two weeks ago, he said the new plan would be unveiled in two weeks. That was over two weeks ago and still nothing. Instead, during this pandemic that’s killed over 150,000 Americans, Trump is still trying to kill Obamacare.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about you. Ask Herman Cain. Wait. You can’t. He’s dead from catching the Trump Virus at a Trump rally.

Trump and Republicans had four months at least to prepare for the unemployment and eviction protections to run out. Instead, they took vacations. Trump played a lot of golf. At this point, you’ll be lucky to get paper towels.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

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Trump’s Disappearing Act


CNN07262020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Defund The Police


cjones06112020

This cartoon should ignite a lot of debate on social media over the next few days.

A lot of Black Lives Matter protesters are calling for defunding the nation’s police departments. There’s a lot of talk about what that means exactly and concerns Donald Trump and Republicans will milk it for the 2020 presidential campaign. Guess what. They’re already doing that.

It doesn’t really matter what the facts are for Donald Trump and Republicans to take something, fill it full of lies, and run with it. Remember how President Obama was going to take all our guns? Do you remember President Obama actually taking our guns? During the 2018 midterm elections, Trump and Republicans ran on the message the Democratic Party wanted to abolish ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement). That did not work, the Democrats took the House, and we still have ICE. A lot of Republican voters probably thought Nancy Pelosi was coming to take their ice makers and we’d have to go back to trays.

Republicans and Trump gaslight and lie on a political issue? Remember, this is the same party that ran on saving Obamacare in 2018. Donald Trump also claimed George Soros was funding Central American caravans to “invade” our southern border and he even admitted he had no facts to base this claim.

Donald Trump stated yesterday that we’re not going to defund the police despite the fact he actually doesn’t have much of a say in it. Funding your local police department is mostly from your local government. But, the federal government can create laws restructuring and regulating police departments which is exactly what this nation needs.

While people argue most cops are good and the bads ones are just a few…the rotten apples have rotted police culture. While you can argue it was just a couple of cops who pushed the elderly man in Buffalo, there were multiple who walked past the man without offering any assistance. Then, it was an official statement from the department that the old man tripped and fell on his own despite there being video evidence contrary to that. Then, after two of the cops were punished, 52 of their colleagues resigned from their task force in protest of cops being held accountable. That is a culture that doesn’t need restructuring. It needs to be eliminated. Do we have to defund police to eliminate that rotten cop culture?

When the Minnesota State Police arrested a black CNN journalist who was only doing his job, reporting, they later issued an official statement saying they released him after verifying his credentials. The arrest was actually caught on tape with the reporter, Omar Jimenez showing the cops his…wait for it…credentials. The camera recording him and the microphone in his hand were also helpful clues, but hey, you never know when rioters will grab fake cameras and microphones to loot a Hardees. But the point is, at a moment when the public is protesting police, and the police need to rebuild trust, the entire department lied. Cops lie. They lie to cover their ass. They lie to cover each other’s asses. They lie to nail your ass.

It’s also extremely difficult to prosecute police not to mention how hard it is to get a cop to arrest a cop.  As it’s been noted and obvious to everyone except police and Republicans, the only way to get the ball rolling to prosecute a cop is to catch a cop breaking the law on tape. How many days did it take for the police to arrest and charge George Floyd’s killer? How many more days to charge his accomplices? The police record almost everything they do (they’re supposed to anyway), but we have yet to see the police’s tape from the George Floyd case.

So what does it mean to defund the police? Does it mean to cut their funding, restructure the department, or to actually eliminate the entire department?

In Minneapolis where George Floyd was killed, it means getting rid of the entire department. I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

The group MPD150, which says it is “working towards a police-free Minneapolis,” argues that defunding would be more about “strategically reallocating resources, funding, and responsibility away from police and toward community-based models of safety, support, and prevention.” So, who ya’ gonna call if someone breaks in? Ghostbusters? What if all the NRA gun nuts who took one shooting class start acting as vigilantes when they’re not marching about how much they need haircuts? You saw what happened when those two white right-wing racists in Georgia tried a citizens arrest on Ahmaud Arbery.

The main problem is the slogan, “Defund the police.” “Restructure the police department and reallocate resources to more proper agencies” just isn’t as catchy, even if liberals are more capable than Republicans with handling chants longer than three syllables.

Chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus, Karen Bass, said she’s not in favor of eliminating police departments, but cities and states need to look at how they’re spending their resources and probably invest more in their communities. She said, “Maybe this is an opportunity to re-envision public safety.”

Right now, there is momentum to restructure the nation’s police forces. Everyone knows, even Republicans, that the nation’s police forces are corrupt. Yes, they are corrupt. When you have just one bad cop on a force and the entire department allows him to stay, you have a corrupt police force. If 19 good cops cover for one bad cop, you have 20 bad cops. In case you’re a Republican, 19 + 1 = 20.

In New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio said the city would move funding from the NYPD to youth initiatives and social services,  but he didn’t say how. In Los Angeles, Mayor Eric Garcetti vowed to cut as much as $150 million that was part of a planned increase in the police department’s budget.

Trump is using this to help portray himself as the “law and order” candidate, despite being the same guy who calls FBI agents “human scum,” attacks law enforcement agents who investigate suspected Russian spies, ruined the lives and careers of agents for his political ambitions and petty insecurities, and has literally broken the law by asking for foreign governments to help his reelection campaign. Yes, he did all that.

Plus, the guy promising us he’s the “law and order” candidate is a huge racist. Sheriff Buford T. Justice wouldn’t want to be aligned with this guy. Yes, the nation’s police unions, who create super PACs for Republicans, are totally in bed with Donald Trump, who told police they shouldn’t be “too nice” when arresting brown suspects. Donald Trump has literally encouraged police to engage in police brutality. How did the police in attendance react? They laughed and applauded. Again, cop culture is corrupt.

The LAPD union representative said, “Cutting the LAPD budget means longer responses to 911 emergency calls, officers calling for back-up won’t get it, and rape, murder, and assault investigations won’t occur or will take forever to initiate, let alone complete.” So basically, the cops will respond slower to the neighborhoods they don’t patrol anyway and suspects will be prosecuted almost as slowly as bad cops are prosecuted.

As we know from history, the Democratic Party’s biggest obstacle to winning a presidential election is the Democratic Party. The Democrats will defeat themselves before Donald Trump will. Right now, it looks like Joe Biden, who said he’s against defunding the police, is on his way to a historic landslide in the presidential election. And, the Democratic Party only has to defeat a stupid racist who lost over 40 million jobs, over 100,000 lives, and the nation’s respect and credibility on the international stage. So, yeah…Democrats should be terrified.

I know the socialist Democrats are passionate to the point they don’t really care about winning elections. You want change and you want it now, damn the politics of it. But you need the politics to get what you want. It’s like saying, “Fuck it, I’m voting third party” then not understanding why you don’t see any liberal change after getting Supreme Court Justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh.

Should we defund the police? Yes, to a point. Should we eliminate police departments? No, but we should tear them apart and rebuild. But before we can do any of that, we have to get rid of Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell. What I don’t understand is why that is so hard for the Bernie Bros to understand. It’s like a four-syllable chant to Republicans…or math. They can’t do it.

Before we can restructure the Po-Po, we have to get rid of the orange Ho-Ho.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Goodbye Granny


cjones03302020

In case you haven’t noticed by now, Republicans are in a contest with each other to see who can be the vilest, most despicable, horrid person in their party. Keep in mind, this is the party that lied and said President Obama was creating death panels as part of Obamacare. The story here, whose biggest advocate was Sarah Palin, was that there would be panels deciding which old people to kill off.

The irony is that the GOP can stomach a lot of death. They value semi-automatic weapons over the lives of children. Kim Jong Un kills an American college student and the best Donald Trump can say is that the communist dictator “feels bad about it.” They don’t care about immigrant children dying in the desert or in the custody of Border Patrol. They don’t care if people in this nation die because they can’t afford medical treatment and are uninsured. Now, the Lieutenant Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick (not the ESPN guy), has advocated that old people should be willing to die in order to get the economy going.

Patrick is a Texan and a proud member of the party of “if you’re not rich, fuck you.” Now, the position is becoming “fuck off and die.”

Donald Trump wants everyone filling churches by Easter Sunday, which is April 12. He said “we can’t let the cure be worse than the problem.” Patrick is taking that to heart and has gone on television to endorse old people risking their lives for the economy. Patrick, who is 70, said to Tucker Carlson, “No one reached out to me and said, ‘as a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?’ And if that’s the exchange, I’m all in.”

He carried on with his nonsense and said, “And that doesn’t make me noble or brave or anything like that. I just think there are lots of grandparents out there in this country like me… that what we care about and what we love more than anything are those children.”

Republicans are not taking this seriously. Texas is a state without a stay-at-home order from the governor. There are other states too that aren’t taking the pandemic seriously, such as Mississippi, where the governor’s answer to the virus is that they’ll pray really hard.

As the pandemic was rising across the globe, Donald Trump thought denial and lies were the cure. He called it a hoax and yesterday, he still claimed the media was using it to defeat him. He uses it himself politically in calling it the “Chinese virus.” And, he still thinks it’s the flu.

It gets worse.

In Pennsylvania, Republican state Representative Stephanie Borowicz introduced legislation (I swear I’m not making this up) calling for “A State Day of Humiliation, Fasting, and Prayer” in response to the coronavirus crisis. The legislation states, “We know that, by His divine law, nations like individuals are subjected to punishments and chastisement in this world” and the current pandemic may be “punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins.” It claims Pennsylvanians “have forgotten God” and thus need to “confess our national sins and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.” Why do I hear that in my head with a heavy southern accent? If anything, some Pennsylvanians have sinned by electing stupid fuckers to represent them.

Louisiana, which is becoming the next epicenter for the virus, has Senator John Kennedy, who downplayed the pandemic by claiming “poverty, hunger, and losing the entire economy” could also kill people. Likewise, Trump says suicides over the economy will outnumber deaths from the virus.

TV preacher Jim Bakker is hawking a fake coronavirus cure which I’m sure involves sending him money. Texas-based Evangelical preacher Kenneth Copeland claims he can cure the virus if you watch him preach on TV, which also probably involves money.

A Miami megachurch preacher, Guillermo Maldonado, has told his followers to pack his church and that fear of the virus is a “demonic spirit.” He asked the few people at his megachurch last Sunday, “Do you believe God would bring his people to his house to be contagious with the virus? Of course not.” So, if you’re afraid enough of the virus to stay home and not attend his sermon, you’re going to Hell.

Baton Rouge pastor Tony Spell is refusing to comply with a state order banning gatherings of over 50 people and said, “The virus, we believe, is politically motivated.” He passed out anointed handkerchiefs which are probably a lot easier to get now than Purell.

A pastor in Indiana, Paul Begley, believes the virus is a sign of the “end times.” A pastor in Pennsylvania (who probably voted for that nutjob state rep) says the virus is “demonic” and if you have it, then you are “healed in Jesus’ name.”

These politicians and preachers are willing to risk your life for their benefit. In the preachers’ case, it’s more revenue. In Trump and other GOP politicians, it’s their political hide. Donald Trump knows a recession hurts his chances of being reelected. What’s he going to say after people go over 30 days without a paycheck? Is he going to blame Obama, China, and the media? Probably. And the deeper we’re in a recession the harder it will be for a dumbass like Donald Trump to pull us out, and the majority of the nation knows that.

The most vulnerable to dying from the coronavirus are the elderly. The real irony in their willingness to sacrifice seniors for cheeseburgers, sermons, baseball games, and Trump rallies is that seniors, specifically the white ones, vote for Donald Trump (I’m not beating up on you if you’re a senior and you don’t vote for Trump. I’m a 53-year-old white male and my demographic is strongly pro-Trump. I’m the minority). But other than killing off their base, they’re putting themselves in extreme danger.

Donald Trump is 73. He can say he feels like a 30-year-old all day long but he’s still 73. He wants to relax the federal recommendations on social distancing and he doesn’t care if it kills people as long as it helps him. And people in his cult, like Dan Patrick (not the ESPN guy), they don’t care either.

The Republican Party doesn’t care if you die as long as it helps the economy. If you’re old, maybe you can help them even further by booking a cruise before you die.

But if you wanna stick around a bit longer, take some advice from your friendly neighborhood ink-slinging cartoonist: Don’t get into a car with a Republican. You may not come back.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Watch me draw.

Matt Gaetz Shows His Respect


cjones03132020

If “if you like your doctor then you can keep your doctor” is a lie, then so is, “anybody who needs a test gets a test.” And it’s actually a more dangerous lie.

Donald Trump doesn’t know how to respond to what is now being described as an international pandemic, so he lies and gives misinformation about it. He says he’s the best to deal with it because his uncle was a “super genius” at MIT. Donald Trump couldn’t spell “MIT” if you spotted him the “M” and the “I.” He was at the CDC, Center for Disease Control, where the scientists asked him how he knew so much about the coronavirus which he either made up or they did so mockingly. It’d be like asking someone who kicks tires how they know so much about automobiles. Donald Trump couldn’t spell “CDC” if you spotted him the “C” and the “D.”

On top of all this, members of Trump’s administration and government workers who aren’t political, are being told not to cross the president (sic). People are being told not to do their jobs if it compromises Donald Trump’s ego.

And then, Donald Trump went to Mar-a-Lago to play golf.

So, is it any surprise the markets are collapsing?

Italy’s government is advising its citizens to keep a distance of three feet from each other. That’s good advice here in the United States. When you encounter a Republican, keep at least three feet away (though I’d advise much farther, like another state).

The Conservative Political Action Convention (CPAC) was last week which featured such high profile individuals as the anti-Greta and Ted Cruz. You can’t have an asshole convention without Ted Cruz.

Now, Cruz and Republican congressman Paul Glosar are self-quarantining after encountering an individual at CPAC who has tested positive for the coronavirus. I guess karma does exist. Who knew there’d be new reasons to avoid Ted Cruz? If this was a zombie outbreak, all of our political leaders would have been bitten by now.

Now I have to ask, was Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz also at the convention?

Gaetz had to have been there because he’s an asshole. What kind of asshole is he? During the vote to put over $8 billion into fighting the coronavirus, Gaetz wore a gas mask to mock the crisis. He eventually voted for the bill but expressed reluctance. Later, after catching grief for his frat boy antics on the floor of the House of Representatives, he tried to pretend he was serious and looking out for his safety. Now, a person from Gaetz’s Florida district has died from the coronavirus. Maybe Gaetz should attend the funeral wearing his little gas mask. He can talk to the victim’s family, while wearing the gas mask, and explain how serious he is.

I have a great idea. Let’s take all of these Republicans who attended the CPAC thingy and quarantine them…in the Trump Washington hotel.

In fact, let’s stick them in there and shut the hotel down until this pandemic passes. I’m sure Trump would take the monetary sacrifice for his nation and fellow Republicans. Right? Hello?

Now, remember, keep at least three feet away from all Republicans. For the love of God, do not shake their hands. Republican cooties are nasty. Additionally, it would be best if you don’t smell any of their bullshit either.

Republicans are contagious.

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The Republican God


CNN02092020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I’m going to use this cartoon to digress and rant on something that kinda annoys me.

The thing that annoys me about Trump supporters is that they have to pretend Donald Trump is a lot of things he’s not. Self-made billionaire, smart, honest, great negotiator, non-racist, not corrupt, etc, etc. In fact, I have never heard or read a pro-Trump argument or defense that didn’t contain at least one lie. So, when I hear Christians and Evangelicals praise Trump, I know they’re phonies.

A couple of my Facebook “friends” shared a link to an article about why a Christan can support Donald Trump. Of course, neither of these fine, upstanding Christian men care that the article contains bullshit. The piece, “How Can You Follow Jesus And Support Trump,”  written by a Shane Idleman, is total bullshit. The article is in a publication called Christian Voices which obviously has a low standard for journalism and not something on my regular reading list.

In the article, our author argues he’s in favor of legal immigration but only if the immigrants are “god-fearing.” So right away, he’s in favor of discrimination. He’s too stupid to realize he’s making that argument. My friends are too stupid to realize it also. If you’re arguing that you only want people entering this nation who believe in what you believe, how long until you say you only want people who look like you? But, it’s his choice of what issue to focus on when it comes to defending Trump. He makes the claim that Donald Trump isn’t separating families or putting kids into cages. That’s not just a lie. It’s a lie racists use.

Mr. Christian writing man, if you’re such a great follower of Jesus, then why are you a liar? Yes, Donald Trump separated families after they crossed the border. Yes, he put kids in cages. They even forced minor children to go to court alone. It was part of his policy. He’s on record advocating for this. His Attorney General at the time it began, Jeff Sessions, made a speech announcing the policy and giggled about it to the point I thought they were going to have to administer oxygen to the racist elf. If this policy didn’t exist, then why did a court order them to stop doing it? You’re a liar.

Nowhere in the article does he mention Donald Trump lying, his love for Putin and cheating in an election, grabbing pussies, his racism, or stealing money from a children’s cancer charity. The guy would rather complain that the media is out to get Trump and his supporters. But there’s the thing about that argument, they never point what the media is lying about. Or, at least not successfully. There’s also an argument about socialism which is another huge lie unless the writer is totally ignorant on the subject, which is possible. So once again, another Trump defense based on lies.

If you have to justify your following of Donald Trump, you’re in the wrong. I don’t have to justify who I vote for or the positions I take. Probably because I’m not a lying piece of shit. If you have to lie to support your political positions, then you’re on the wrong side.

These Christians argue they’re getting judges for supporting Donald Trump. But where in the Bible does it say you can trade in your convictions and principles for stuff? I went to church a lot when I was a kid. Really. I don’t remember that sermon. And the other thing about these judges, our Christian friends don’t care by what means they get their stuff. They don’t care if the seats are stolen (and they stole more than one Supreme Court seat) or that you have to cheat in an election to get them.

The thing is, you never had convictions or principles. You were lying then just like you’re a liar now. But we’ve known that for a long time from your silence on government spending when a Republican is in control or from your love of the death penalty while claiming you’re “pro-life.”

The author says they’re not following a man but a movement. Your movement is a cult. You don’t follow Jesus anymore if you ever did (who, by the way, was a socialist). You follow Donald Trump because he’s your god, which he stated when he claimed he’s the “chosen one.” Guess what. That wasn’t mentioned in the article either.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Menacing Mittens


cjones02122020

Today, Mitt Romney, Republican Senator from Utah and former presidential candidate, voted to convict Donald Trump on one charge of impeachment. Mitt Romney exercised his conscience, dignity, and independence which are all things the Republican Party had thought they had eradicated. I thought they had eradicated it too.

On Wednesday, every single Republican Senator voted to acquit, not exonerate, Donald Trump on the two impeachment charges the House brought up. Romney voted guilty on one of them.

The majority of the Republican Party consists of cowards and sycophants who pretend those traits are virtues. Donald Trump prefers the GOP to be weak and in fear of his wrath which consists of mean tweets. On Wednesday, Mitt Romney displayed a profile in courage, which is extremely rare in Washington. He will be punished.

Donald Trump wanted a totally partisan vote on his impeachment so he could argue he was exonerated, which he will anyway. While Romney was speaking on the floor of the Senate explaining his vote, Trump was canceling a photo-op before the press. Coward.

Donald Trump Jr. tweeted that Romney should be expelled from the party. Fox News host Laura Ingraham threatened to run against him in four and a half years. The flying monkeys are assembling.

Romney explained he took an oath before God. For all the other Republicans, Trump is their god. How dare he.

Romney, while criticizing the Bidens, stated that what they did weren’t crimes. He was shooting down Trump’s defense team’s arguments. He took down another Republican talking point when he said, “The defense argues that the Senate should leave the impeachment decision to the voters. While that logic is appealing to our democratic instincts, it is inconsistent with the Constitution’s requirement that the Senate, not the voters, try the president.” Mitt Romney may be the only Republican in Washington who’s actually read the entire Constitution and understands it.

Then Romney laid out some facts. He said, “The president asked a foreign government to investigate his political rival. The president withheld vital military funds from that government to press it to do so. The president delayed funds for an American ally at war with Russian invaders. The president’s purpose was personal and political. Accordingly, the president is guilty of an appalling abuse of public trust.” Those are all facts.

Romney made another point every Trump sycophant has refused to recognize. “The grave question the Constitution tasked senators to answer is whether the president committed an act so extreme and egregious that it rises to the level of a high crime and misdemeanor. Yes, he did.”

Mitt Romney is not perfect. I’m really glad he wasn’t elected president, and instead, we got four more years for Obama to build a great economy for an old racist white man to inherit and take credit for. Romney has always stood for the 47% and displayed a lack of understanding of working-class and poor Americans. But that doesn’t mean he’s an evil person. That doesn’t mean he’s dishonest or a liar. That just means he’s not the right guy…until now.

He strongly opposed Trump’s candidacy and delivered a speech mocking the future president (sic). After Trump’s election, he had a discussion over frog legs to be Trump’s Secretary of State that really confused everyone. Donald Trump and Mitt Romney eat frog legs? When he was elected to the Senate, no one was expecting him to be a liberal never-Trumper firebrand, but we were hoping for some independence in the GOP. Finally, we got some.

I drew a cartoon and wrote a column last Sunday about the Cowards of Historic Proportions. I wrote there wasn’t one Republican in the Senate who wasn’t a coward. And while some Republicans privately said they voted to acquit Trump out of fear, it turns out there is one who stood up. I wrote history will remember them all as cowards, but Romney will be remembered for his bravery. While Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Mitch McConnell have cemented their places next to the Vichy French, Romney will be next to Margaret Chase Smith. In this case, I like being wrong.

In that column, I wrote, “The founding fathers didn’t put clauses in the Constitution to protect someone like Donald Trump. They put those clauses in to protect our nation from the likes of Donald Trump.” Maybe Mitt Romney read it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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Cowards Of Historic Proportions


cjones02072020

In 1950, as the Republican Party was abandoning what made it the party of Lincoln and well on its way to becoming the party of Nazis, Klansmen, Putin-lovers, and conspiracy-driven fucknuts, Joseph McCarthy, a Senator from Wisconson was in the midst of his red scare campaign. McCarthy was accusing Americans, usually without evidence, of being communist. He worked to smear and ruin careers, often succeeding. He even claimed, without evidence, that our government was filled with communists. He said the State Department alone had 205 members of the Communist Party, which was probably a number he pulled out of his ass.

The Republican Party was full of cowards. They were afraid if they criticized McCarthy, that he’d accuse them too of being communist. Even the president, Dwight Eisenhower, was a coward to McCarthy. He only criticized the Senator privately.

Only one Republican Senator stood up to McCarthy. Margaret Chase Smith was the first woman to serve in both houses of Congress. As a Senator from Maine, she faced scorn and threats from within her own party for speaking her mind and standing up against McCarthy.

In opposing McCarthy, Smith said, “It is high time we stopped thinking politically as Republicans and Democrats about elections and started thinking patriotically as Americans about national security based on individual freedom.”

McCarthy was finally brought down in 1954 over a different scandal after the Senate voted 67-22 to censure him. During the hearings, Army Counsel Joseph Welch famously asked McCarthy, “At long last, have you no decency, sir?” Today’s Republicans have zero.

Margaret Chase Smith was initially on McCarthy’s side even introducing a very unconstitutional bill to outlaw the Communist Party, three years after speaking out against McCarthy. But she’s not remembered for that. What will each of today’s Republicans be remembered for? Not for bravery or putting their country before their party.

Now is a time when one Republican could stand up and cement their place in history. Make no mistake about it, history is not going to be kind to Trump or those who became sycophants to him. Trump will be regarded by historians as the very worst president. Except for Richard Nixon, even our bad presidents have short paragraphs in history books. But even Nixon has positives brought up. Trump won’t have any. History will not praise him for inheriting a strong economy.

You would think at least one Republican in the United States Senate would want to be remembered for being heroic. That at least one would be able to face scorn and mean tweets. That at least one Republican would be willing to lose their seat for standing up for the United States. Nope.

While two Republicans did vote for witnesses, don’t kid yourself. There’s no bravery just because they want to hear more evidence. That’s not voting to impeach Donald Trump. In fact, a few Republicans even said they think Trump is guilty, but they still refuse to oust him or even hear evidence that he did something wrong, even when they say they know he’s wrong. What a bunch of sniveling cowards, like Ted Cruz, a sniveling coward himself, once said of Donald Trump.

Cory Gardner is a Republican from Colorado, a state with the most opposition to Trump that has a Republican in the Senate. He’s more afraid of Trump and his party than of voters in his state. He couldn’t even hear one witness in the Senate trial.

Marco Rubio said he assumes all the allegations are true, so he doesn’t need to hear more witnesses and says he’ll vote to acquit as removing Trump would inflict “extraordinary trauma” on our nation and help Vladimir Putin. Never mind the fact it’s Putin who helped put Trump in the White House. If the allegations are true, that Donald Trump abused his office and tried to bribe a foreign president, then doesn’t it inflict “extraordinary trama” by allowing him to remain? Good job defending America, Little Marco. Is it OK if I call you “Little Marco”? It must be since Trump gave him that nickname and now Marco is kissing his ass.

Retiring Senator Lamar Alexander could have gone down in history fighting the good fight. Instead, he caved. He said Trump is guilty, but what the House charged “does not meet the United States Constitution’s high bar for an impeachable offense.” If bribery doesn’t amount to an impeachable offense, then what does? Alexander says the voters need to make the decision on removing Trump, despite the fact Trump has already cheated in this election. For what it’s worth, Lamar says he’ll be voting for Trump in 2020.  Coward.

Ben Sasse of Nebraska wrote a book called the “Vanishing American Adult” and is considered to be one in the Senate. He said, “Let me be clear; Lamar speaks for lots and lots of us.” CNN’s Manu Raju (the reporter one Republican Senator called a “partisan hack”) asked Sasse directly, “if he believes then that Trump acted inappropriately,” which is what Alexander said of Trump. Sasse refused to be an adult or brave enough to actually say the word “inappropriate” himself. He refused to answer the question. Sasse is another coward for the history books.

Alaska’s Lisa Murkowski claimed she voted against witnesses to avoid a tie vote in the Senate and to bravely protect Chief Justice John Roberts from breaking the tie. Murkowski successfully framed herself as just another Republican coward.

If President Barack Obama refused to give the House any documents and even told Hillary Clinton not to testify during their multiple Benghazi investigations, do you honestly believe that not one of these Senate Republicans would have been calling for his impeachment…or voting that way if there was a trial? This isn’t about the presidency, Constitution, or what impeachable or not. It’s about 53 United States Senators being cowards, lackeys, lickspittles, and asskissers. It’s about 53 United States Senators putting a cult of rancid personality over the oath they took to protect this nation from a person just like Donald Trump.

The founding fathers didn’t put clauses in the Constitution to protect someone like Donald Trump. They put those clauses in to protect our nation from the likes of Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is a vile, disgusting human being. You shouldn’t want him in your house, less enough the White House. In allowing, excusing, ignoring, and even defending his lack of decency, the Republican Party has abandoned theirs. History won’t remember any of them as heroes because there aren’t any. But history will list each and every one of them for the cowards they are.

At long last, have you no decency, Republican Party?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Spin On This


CNN01262020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Several Republican senators said they were learning new information during the impeachment arguments from the House managers. They were shocked to learn new details about Trump’s corruption. Why is this? Because they don’t want real news or bother reading anything that might contradict their dogma.

It’s terrible that Trump supporters, members of his cult, don’t deal with facts. When you point out out a fact to them, like Donald Trump stole from a charity or said a veteran is only a hero because he got captured, it’s news to them. Try telling the cult Donald Trump has told over 16,000 lies since becoming president and watch the expression on their faces while they try to compress the information. But it’s terrible when United States Senators, people who took an oath to fight for and defend this nation, refuse to hear facts. A Republican senator, Martha McSally or Sally McMartha (we’ll figure it out right after we find Ukraine on a map) screams at a CNN reporter for asking her a question, insults him by calling him a “liberal hack,” then goes straight to Laura Ingraham’s show on Fox News to talk about how terribly the media treats her by asking questions.

I saw a post last week where a cultist was defending Republican senators like Lindsey Graham who kept walking out of the hearings, by stating Democrats had walked out too. Yeah, but the argument the House managers are making isn’t new to the Democrats. As I’m watching the hearings, I’m only hearing details I already knew. Why did I already know this? Because I haven’t had my head stuck in the sand.

On Saturday, I knew everything the Republican defense was laying out, and I don’t even watch Fox News. Of course, it helped that everything they said were lies Donald Trump had already said. There weren’t any new lies.

We also learned that in the absence of electronic gadgets, some senators are playing with fidget spinners. Senator Richard Burr handed them out to his colleagues and who spent their time, instead of paying attention to the House managers, trying to figure out how the spinners worked.

Republicans don’t just naturally excel at being ignorant and uninformed. They put a lot of work into it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.