Republicans

Nazi The Equivalence


cjones09032017

At the start of World War II, nearly every Scandinavian country declared neutrality. It only worked out for Sweden. Norway and Denmark were invaded by Germany. Even Iceland didn’t escape, and they were invaded by the good guys when England stormed their shores in what should become a comical movie (go read up on it).

Finland may be the most interesting case. At the start of the war they were opposed to Nazi Germany, as Hitler was aligned with the Soviet Union, Finland’s enemy. Finland attempted to build a defense structure with help from England, to no avail. After Hitler betrayed Stalin, Finland found itself on the same side as the Nazis. This was most peculiar because Finland didn’t send their Jewish population to German concentration camps (many fought for Finland), and they were the only Axis nation that was also a democracy.

Technically, democratic Finland was an enemy of the allies, including the United States. Finland actually succeeded in defending their homeland from the Soviet Union, and never initiated the war, or invaded anyone. However, they still had to pay a cost as they lost ten percent of their land, including their second largest city, and pay war reparations, even though they weren’t the belligerents.

Why did they get lumped in with the bad guys and have to lose so much when all they really wanted to do was protect their homeland? Because they sided with Nazis.

If you’re a conservative or have friends who complain about protesters and activists and throw all the attention on Antifa, or Black Lives Matter, then they’re siding with Nazis too.

Why are conservatives and Republicans more focused on people against fascism and who want cops to stop engaging in police brutality? Because Nazis are closer in alignment to Republican beliefs. That’s not a group you want on your side, so conservatives’ best defense (in their little minds) is to deflect, ignore, and engage in false equivalence.

And, it is a false equivalence but, let’s patronize it for a minute and look at our players.

Black Lives Matter is protesting for an end to police brutality, and are asking for more community oversight of police departments, stricter limits on the use of force, independent investigations of police misconduct, community representation in municipal governments, body cameras, better training, an end to “policing for profit,” demilitarization, and union contracts that don’t protect misbehaving police officers from being held accountable. Seriously, they should not even be in this conversation, but asshole conservatives placed them here.

Antifa is more complicated. Antifa is hard to understand as they don’t understand themselves. There is not a national Antifa organization. It can basically include anyone who is against fascism. Some who label themselves as Antifa do engage in violence and vandalism, such as punching alt-right dickheads and trashing their local Starbucks. While Indiana Jones makes punching Nazis look like an erstwhile endeavor, it’s not something I condone. And, I’ve yet to meet a liberal who wouldn’t get upset if his or her local Starbucks was firebombed. There is a huge difference between being a liberal who really dislikes Donald Trump and anarchists who hurt people and break stuff. The objective of ending fascism is a noble one and I believe we can achieve that goal without torching my favorite spot to get a large mocha (or is it “grande’?”).

So, anarchist who engage in violence and vandalism, cut it out. It really hurts your cause more than it helps…as in, it doesn’t help at all. If anything, it helps Nazis because it gives them footage from Breitbart to share on Facebook.

When you look at the objectives of our three groups here, the equivalence is false. I don’t see a fair comparison between people who want to end police violence and fascism, and assholes who strive for racial superiority who march with tiki torches while shouting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil.” At their very worst, Antifa is punching people and breaking windows while Nazis are driving cars into crowds of people and killing them.

We can denounce the violence committed by some members of the Antifa community, if it is an actual community. I’m not on the email list and I don’t get a newsletter. But, if your focus is on Antifa and not on Nazis or the KKK, you’re enabling the racist.

Pointing and screaming about Antifa may deflect attention from where you’re standing for a while, but eventually, people are going to notice when that spot where you’re standing is among Nazis.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Kollege Is Shtoopid


cjones07152017

Shortly after the invasion of Iraq, Vice-President Dick Cheney was asked about opinion polls reflecting that a majority of Republicans believed Iraq was behind 9/11. Cheney said he could understand why people believe that, but he wouldn’t state that Iraq didn’t have any involvement with that terrorist attack. Why not? It’s because his agenda fed off of an ignorant base. Basically, stupid people.

Part of Russia’s meddling in our election to plant a dumbass in the White House required them to spread bogus stories all over the internet, which was shared like wildfire by trolls on social media. It helped that the audience they were targeting were Republicans because that meant the stories couldn’t be too stupid.

They spread bogus stories like the Pope and Denzel Washington had endorsed Trump, Hillary Clinton was a criminal suffering from serious health issues, there would be violence if Clinton won, election rigging, fake ballots in Clinton’s basement, and that Clinton was running a child-sex trafficking ring out the basement of a pizza shop that didn’t have a basement.

When it came to sharing the fake stories, Republicans were useful idiots. Some members of the Trump campaign even shared the fake stories, including Trump himself.

Today, a majority of Republicans believe millions voted illegally for Clinton and that Trump won the popular vote. They probably still believe Obama was born in Kenya. These are the people who put an idiotic, crooked narcissist in the White House.

Conservatives love to whine how the press has a liberal bias. I’m asked occasionally “why are you so liberal?”. My views are liberal because I base them on facts. The press has a bias for facts and the truth is biased toward liberalism. Climate change is real, Hillary won the popular vote, there were not millions of illegal votes cast, Trump did not have the biggest inauguration crowd ever, and Obama did not have Trump Tower wiretapped. Sorry, conservatives. Facts hurt.

Facts hurt so much that Republicans have to make shit up about their opponents like Obama was invading Texas, or that more Americans are uninsured since Obamacare was implemented. If you watch Fox News, read Breitbart, the Daily Wire, Daily Caller, or InfoWars, you will be fed a lot of lies. That’s because facts don’t work for a conservative audience.

A new Pew Research Center poll released Monday revealed that a majority of Republicans think that colleges have a negative impact on the country. Fifty-eight percent of Republicans now say that colleges “are having a negative effect on the way things are going in the country.” That kinda adds up since Democrats capture the majority of college educated voters.

Cost is not the biggest reason Republicans oppose free college education for everyone. If voters are educated, that’s bad for the GOP. The fact that Donald Trump is actually the freaking president of the United States of America is all the proof you need that this is true. Smart people didn’t put Trump in the White House.

My advice is: Read newspapers. Knowing things is good.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Muscling In Montana


cjones05282017

The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office has issued their report on the Republican’s tax cut for the rich disguised as a health care plan, and it’s not pretty.

House Republicans were so anxious to repeal Obamacare and pass their joke of a replacement that they didn’t wait for the report on their plans impact. As it turns out, it may leave over 23 million Americans without health insurance. So quite naturally Republicans don’t want to talk about it.

One Republican who is real testy about it is Greg Gianforte. Gianforte is a candidate for Montana’s lone Congressional seat that should be a walk in the park for the GOP. Montana is a red state and when Trump put their congressman in his cabinet along with all the other white guys, the party just assumed it was their seat to keep. Wrong.

With Trump in the White House Americans, even in red-meat eating red states, are realizing the guy is a disaster. With Republicans stealing everyone’s health care to make sure millionaires and billionaires become richer, those seats are getting harder to hang onto. Democrat Rob Quist supports the Second Amendment and he wears a cowboy hat. He has a slim chance of winning the Montana Congressional Seat, especially now that Gianforte is beating up reporters.

Gianforte was giving an interview to a local station when Ben Jacobs, a journalist with The Guardian, interrupted to ask questions about the CBO report, which Gianforte has been ducking. Gianforte’s response, according to several witnesses (some with Fox News even) grabbed Jacobs and body-slammed him against a wall, and broke his glasses. It was also captured on a recording.

The candidate has been charged with a misdemeanor assault. The big question this raises is will it affect the outcome of the election, which is tomorrow (Thursday). The two largest newspapers in Montana, the Missoulian and the Billings Gazette, both retracted their endorsements of Gianforte.

Gianforte’s campaign issued a statement blaming Jacobs for being aggressive and described him as a “liberal journalist.” I suppose assault is bad to Republicans unless you’re assaulting a liberal journalist. After all, Donald Trump has described the press as “enemies of the American people.”

I don’t know if this will change anything. Voters didn’t seem to care that Donald Trump was a bully and encouraged violence and assaults at his rallies. Maybe Montanians will like the idea of a congressman who beats up journalists.

What’s next? Gianforte broke Jacob’s glasses (nerd!). Maybe Republicans will start shoving reporters into lockers and giving them swirlies and wedgies.

Creative note: I was more of a Mad Magazine fan when I was a kid and didn’t read comic books much. The only two I did get into for a while was Spiderman and The Hulk. I think every political cartoonist enjoys drawing Hulk.

I was getting a later start than I had planned last night. I was halfway through my first cartoon when this idea hit me. It was all over the news, especially MSNBC. I bounced it off a friend and former FLS colleague and she thought I should go with it. Around midnight I started all over again.

Clay smash first idea. Clay start over. Clay tired. Clay drink too much coffee.

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Do Your Job


cjones02142017

Do your job. That’s what attendees of a town hall conducted by Utah congressman Jason Chaffetz shouted at him last week.

The crowd is upset that the congressman has failed to hold the president accountable for his hateful and dangerous policies. The funny thing is neglecting to do his job didn’t begin after Trump was sworn into office. Chaffetz has spent the bulk of his time engaging in pointless investigations into Benghazi and Planned Parenthood, and trying to end legal marijuana and gay marriage in the nation’s capital.

Chaffetz later accused the crowd of being paid protesters and said he may not provide a venue in the future for “radicals” to further intimidate him. The snowflake provided no proof anyone was paid to attend, shout, and harass him.

I’m on a lot of political mailing lists for conservatives and liberals. Every week someone invites me to join political groups, events, and protests. I hear a lot but I’ve yet to be offered any money to attend a protest or hear from anyone who has. What up with dat?

Despite doing it pro bono, people are showing up to Republican town halls to yell “do you job,” “shame,” and to question their representatives. And to Chaffetz’s credit, at least he actually showed up.

Other Republicans have scheduled town halls and have failed to show up or they have sneaked out the back after seeing they weren’t going to be greeted with cheers and showered with adoration.

If nothing else they could always do what Donald Trump does and make up numbers and claim everyone present was there to cheer them. Though Trump is into a different kind of showering.

Democrats are trying to emulate the Tea Party in building a base for the midterm elections. There’s just one problem with that and it’s the fact Democrats are lazy during midterms. Conservatives are very loyal to the GOP, even when they throw out their incumbents for newer scarier Republicans (How ya’ doing, Eric Cantor? I miss drawing you). Liberals aren’t as loyal to the Democratic Party. A great many of them are independent and feel burned by the party. Go ask a Bernie supporter how he feels about Hillary’s candidacy or Debbie Wasserman Schultz (I miss drawing her).

Another issue is that during the 2018 midterm elections there are 33 seats up for election. Currently 23 of those belong to Democrats and two independents who caucus with the Dems. Republicans only have nine. A lot of these, even for the Democrats, are in states that voted not only for Trump in 2016, but for Romney in 2012.

I expect the Democrats to make gains in the House but they can actually lose seats in the Senate. Even if the Republicans burn the nation to the ground before then.

Creative notes: You gotta know this cartoon is a Blues Brother reference. Just in case you don’t (what’s wrong with you?) I will explain. Warning! Spoilers ahead (and I still haven’t seen Rogue One).

The Blues Brothers steal a gig from a country band at Bob’s Country Bunker, and they tell Bob they are the “Good Ole Boys” band. Bob’s Country Bunker features both kinds of music, “Country” and “western.” As the boys go into their first song, which is neither “country” nor “western,” the crowd becomes rowdy and starts throwing beer bottles at the band. Fortunately for the band the stage is erected behind a protective layer of chicken wire.

The boys appease the crowd by playing the “Theme To Rawhide” and “Stand By Your Man.” The audience loves it yet they continue to hurl bottles at the band.

When I played in bands I never had to play behind chicken wire or dodge beer bottles. But I have been in the predicament The Blues Brothers found themselves in at the end of the night where the band actually owes the bar money because of all the beer they drank. However my bands have always paid the tab and didn’t finish the evening with a high-speed chase pursued by an RV full of angry Good Ole Boys.

I anger and get pursued by good ole boys for other reasons.

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Loud Boom Boom


cjones01152017

The Republican nimrods in Washington aren’t content with repealing Obamacare, moving the American Embassy in Israel just to piss off Muslims, handing HUD over to a guy they wouldn’t give their car keys to, and stripping ethics out of Congress. Now they want to make it easier to purchase silencers for guns. All future mass shootings will now sound like your neighbor’s Prius.

Not only do Republicans and the friendly monsters at the NRA fight and scramble to make access to firearms as easy as possible for murderers and rednecks with small weenies, now they want to make it easier for them to be sneaky about it.

What’s the deal with gun nuts anyway? They have to have the largest firearms with the most firepower that can shoot the most rounds at the fastest speed possible so they can overcompensate for their dinky manhood, yet they’re too loud for them?

You want to be obnoxious yet be quiet about it? You don’t see bikers going to a Harley Davidson shop and ask if they make quiet models? Bikes, like guns are made so people can be assholes. Don’t be a total wimp about it, Nancy Pants.

I am aware silencers aren’t as quiet as they’re depicted in movies. They don’t actually make a low sharp little “pyew pyew pyew” sound. There’s still a bang but it’s muffled, like a car with a muffler. In fact, the same guy who invented car mufflers invented the silencer. See? I research.

Even though they’re not technically silent, and officially they’re called “suppressors,” and they still “bang,” they’re still a lot quieter than guns without muzzles. Someone could easily fire more rounds in a noisy environment like an airport, night club, Congress, before people are aware there’s another national tragedy occurring. Silencers can also be effective in confusing people as to where the shots are coming from (here’s a clue: Look for the angry white guy).

It’s a dumb idea to make it easier for the public to purchase silencers. It’s bad enough idiots in Texas can’t go to Starbucks without an AK strapped to their back. Gun advocates are claiming it’s a safety issue to protect their hearing. There’s two other ways to protect your hearing from guns. One is to purchase earmuffs. How freaking inconvenient is that? It’s gotta be a lot cheaper than purchasing a silencer. Another way to protect your hearing is to stop shooting guns. Stop going to a gun range. That’s like going to a Nascar event and complaining the cars are loud. Surprise! It’s noisy. Next thing you’re going to do is complain that fish taste fishy.

All the self-styled Rambos and Dirty Harrys out there need to get a grip on something other than a Glock. Their new toys and overcompensation shouldn’t take away the liberty of people to survive.

You wanna silence something? Try Trump’s mouth. That is if they can make a muzzle large enough.

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Sucky Healthcare


cjones01062017

During the presidential campaign Donald Trump promised to repeal Obamacare and replace it with “something better.” He never told us what “something better” includes but we’re going to love it.

After The Affordable Healthcare Act was passed in 2012 Republicans attempted to repeal it over 60 times. Not once in that time span have they had a plan to replace it with. Today they tell us they’re going to “repeal and replace.” The details they’re short on is what they’re going to replace it with.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is a man who knows policy. He’s intelligent, informed, and is very detailed on specifics. He’s the Republican’s top guy and even he can’t give us details on this replacement. The leeches might be an appropriate analogy as we’re now looking for a healthcare plan from a man who looks like Eddie Munster.

A majority of voters want Obamacare repaired. A lot of premiums have shot up and consumers are feeling the pain. Republican voters want it repealed entirely without considering they may be uninsured afterward. Many are covered by Obamacare and they’re not even aware of it. On top of all this anyone who believes their rates will go down after Obamacare is repealed are idiots. They probably believe Putin is a good guy and we should trust Julian Assange over the CIA. Of course we’re talking about Trump voters so we’re not talking about people who play with full decks.

Voters gave Republicans full control of the government and they’re about to get what has been promised. The GOP plans to trash Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and access to healthcare for everyone. But hey, America will be great again.

What should be clear to everyone is that Republicans suck.

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Alarmed Over Ethics


cjones01042017

After Paul Ryan was reelected as Speaker of the House yesterday he addressed his colleagues and said “we are not here to be. We are here to do.” It’s what the Republicans are doing in Congress that should concern us all.

What was the very first priority for House Republicans on the first day of the 115th Congress? Kill Obamacare? Strike down the Iran nuclear agreement? Tax cuts for corporations? Blast environmental regulations? Give themselves pay raises and go on a recess? Give Democrats wedgies? None of that.

The first thing they did was prove they have no intentions of actually draining the swamp and they held a secret vote at night to gut the semi-independent office that investigates House ethics.

Why would Republicans do something like this? That’s a rhetorical question. Now that they have the majority in the House, Senate, and a president-elect who believes conflicts of interests and ethics don’t apply to him, they figured it shouldn’t apply to them either. After all, their new leader celebrated New Year’s Eve at his golf club with business partners and guests who paid $575 a piece to party with The Donald (club members had a $50 discount).

Paul Ryan and Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy disagreed with the vote. Trump joined them and criticized it on his favorite platform, Twitter. They weren’t so much against getting rid of the ethics office as they were with the timing of the move. They’ll be fine with it if, and when, it comes later during this session. It will come later.

House members were bombarded with calls from an angry public. This maneuver, orchestrated by Virginian Republican Bob Goodlatte, would have prevented the office from investigating potentially criminal allegations, allowed lawmakers on the House Ethics Committee to shut down any O.C.E. investigation and, for good measure, gagged the office’s staff members in their dealings with the news media.

While Trump was tweeting faster than a speeding bullet criticizing the timing of the vote, his number one gaslighter Kellyanne Conway was on television saying House Republicans have a “mandate” to curb “overzealousness” over ethics. I don’t remember that issue being pressed on the campaign trail at all. Do you? Again, that was another rhetorical question. I think going out with Kellyanne Conway would resemble a mandate (Sorry. That was sexist. I couldn’t resist).

The Office of Congressional Ethics was created in 2008, by Democrats, after  a series of bribery and corruption scandals slammed both parties and sent three House members to jail. Four of the Republicans who joined the Goodlatte gang have previously been investigated by the office.

After the quick outrage the GOP did a huge pivot and dropped it and the issue has gone back to the House to be “studied.” What they’re really doing is studying the best time to whip it out again. Probably sneak it into a bill honoring veterans or a Kentucky race horse. Who knows.

This also shows that as soon as Trump breaks the law and violates his presidential oath, probably on January 21, that this House will have little concern of holding him accountable.

Kellyanne Conway will tell you that’s a mandate.

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