Republicans

Weather The Stupid


cjones12042019

It’s not just the majority of scientists who believe in climate change. It’s a massive majority. According to NASA, “97 percent or more of actively publishing climate scientists agree climate-warming trends over the past century are extremely likely due to human activities.” Additionally, most of the leading scientific organizations worldwide have issued public statements endorsing this position. It’s what you would call a mandate. In case you’re a Republican, 97 percent is a LOT. It’s only three percent away from 100 (start at 100 and count backwards).

The only way to disagree with 97 percent of the world’s scientists is if you want to disagree and you’re not going to apply logic to the science. You have to politicize the science to claim 97 percent of the world’s scientists are politically biased. I would wager that while 97 percent of the world’s scientists believe in climate change, that nearly every one of them hates the film, “The Day After Tomorrow.” Now that was a real dog.

Even if you’re going to argue against science, you could at least understand the difference between climate and weather. If someone tells you climate change is a hoax because it’s snowing, their statement proves their opinion isn’t based in fact. Snow in Boston today is short term. Short term is weather. How the atmosphere behaves over a longer period of time is climate. While it’s snowing in Boston, it’s sunny in Los Angeles. To further complicate the matter, your argument against climate science is that it’s cold during the winter.

I know. Explaining this to a Republican, or even worse, a full-fledged Trump supporter, is like explaining photosynthesis to a Beagle. He’ll just cock his head, go “aroo?” while he’s thinking about cheese. Although, the Beagle has a better shot at getting it than a Republican. Plus, Beagles at least have personality and are much more likeable. Nobody wants a Republican to lick their face.

Every year, my conservative colleagues draw their annual anti-climate change cartoons. They usually wait until the first major snowstorm hits somewhere in the country and then it’s all, “A-ha!” It’s been explained to them over and over again. Just like their cartoons, we have to make our explanations on an annual basis.

Facts are not biased, but liberals are biased toward facts. Another fact: Dogs are smarter than Republicans.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Floater


cjones12012019

Just a little Thanksgiving day bonus for you I jammed out while in Washington. Have a great Thanksgiving and enjoy the parade.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

What’s Your Crazy?


cjones11252019

Fiona Hill went to Capitol Hill yesterday and schooled Devin Nunes and the rest of the Republican nitwits serving on the Intelligence Committee.

Dr. Hill, an expert on Russia, scolded the Republicans for pushing the false, debunked conspiracy theory that it was Ukraine meddling in our 2016 presidential election in favor of the Democrats, and not Russia helping Trump. From the expressions on the Republicans’ faces, it was like trying to teach the difference between the words “cheese” and “keys” to your dog. You know every time, that dog’s going to be thinking cheese.

Dr. Hill may want to keep in mind that there’s more than one conspiracy theory Republicans believe in. Once upon a time, they used to kind-of-sort-of keep them under wraps, as only truly crazy people pursue them. Now, Donald Trump is pushing the Joe-Biden-is-corrupt conspiracy along with the Crowdstrike conspiracy (where the Democratic National Committee server is stored in Ukraine for some dumb reason), and these theories were created and spread on 4chan. Republicans aren’t even trying to hide their crazy anymore.

After Dr. Hill’s mic drop of facts on Republicans, they still want to subpoena Hunter Biden and chase debunked conspiracy theories.

The thing is, you don’t have to be even kinda sorta smart not to fall for a conspiracy theory created by a Russian troll farm. Hell, you can even be slightly stupid and not fall for it. The thing with Republicans is, they don’t want to work with facts, logic, or reason anymore. You have to admit, with the way they’re smearing veterans, women, immigrants, diplomats, and anyone who’s served their nation, it goes well with their scorched-earth campaign.

Dr. Fiona Hill isn’t a new hero to the left. She’s an American hero.

Notes: I don’t have time for a highly-researched blog today as I’m running late. I had to jump on a train this morning and finish my cartoon in a Washington hotel. Then, I gotta go back to work for CNN. And my hotel room won’t even be ready until 4:00 PM.

I’m in Washington to speak or do a seminar at a journalism conference. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing here. Between the book, daily deadlines, CNN deadlines, moving, Amanda, and some light surgery this week, I didn’t pay that much attention. But I’m here. I know I’m doing something tonight and in the morning. I’m pretty interested to find out what I’m doing.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Partisan Jurors


CNN11102019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

After Donald Trump is impeached by the House of Representatives, there will be a trial in the Senate. There, every United States Senator (in case you’re a Republican, there are 100 of them), will be a juror. The majority of Republican senators have already made up their minds that Donald Trump should not be impeached. Some argue he didn’t do anything wrong while others say he did but it doesn’t amount to a charge worthy of impeachment. Some, like Lindsey Graham refuse to even hear the evidence and testimony. These Republican jurors have already made up their minds to clear Donald Trump before the trial or even before public hearings in the House have started.

Remember when the administration said it wasn’t complying with subpoenas because the House hadn’t conducted a vote for the inquiry? That seems to be forgotten now that the House did have that vote, and it passed without one Republican voting for it (even though they all demanded the vote), and the White House is still defying subpoenas.

Remember when Republicans complained about the hearings being private? They even crashed one hearing and contaminated a SCIF. Now, the Trump administration is complaining about the hearings going public. If voters have eyes and ears, they’ll see it doesn’t matter what the Democrats do, the GOP will find fault with it.

Graham said he’d be bothered if there was testimony implicating Trump in using taxpayer money to bribe Ukraine and asking them to go after a political opponent. Now that multiple witnesses say Trump did just that, Graham has decided he’s not going to listen to any testimony or read transcripts of it. Back during the Clinton impeachment, Graham said a president defying subpoenas was obstruction and another cause for impeachment. Today, it’s OK if a Republican does it.

In this week’s Time magazine, Jon Meachem writes, “The possible impeachment of Donald Trump is about more than one man. It is a singular moment in American democracy that will try our capacity for reason over passion, fact over faith and principle over tribe.”

The Republicans are making it about one man and showing we don’t have the capacity for reason, facts, or principles. If Congress fails to remove Trump from the presidency, it will be an American failure that will take generations to overcome. It will damage the office of the presidency for decades, if not permanently.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Lesbian Bong Blow


cjones11022019

Revenge porn is despicable, ugly, and unethical. So naturally, Republicans are all over it.

California representative Katie Hill has resigned after revelations were made that while she was a candidate, she and her husband were mutually involved in an extramarital relationship with a female campaign staffer. Hill has acknowledged this. Her estranged husband has claimed she also engaged in an affair with a male staffer after she was in office. Hill has denied this charge.

As others have pointed out, the story wasn’t presented as breaking news but more like bombs with the intention of humiliating Hill. They were accompanied by naked photos of her and were published in the Daily Mail and the Republican blog, Red State.

Republicans are laughing and rejoicing over this, and not just because it opens a congressional seat that Hill flipped to Democrats in 2018. No, Republicans are rejoicing because they’re cruel. I’ve seen posts by several conservatives saying it’s her fault the photos became public. Why, if she didn’t want them exposed then she never should have had them taken or even engaged in such shenanigans.

You can argue about Hill’s actions with a campaign staffer. There should be an investigation into whether she engaged in a sexual relationship with a congressional staffer. But you shouldn’t be enjoying or sharing her photos. Why? It’s not her fault they’re out there and secondly, they’re not yours to share.

Whenever I hear about leaked photos from someone’s iPhone, cloud, or whatever, I don’t go searching for them. No, I don’t have a high horse. I’m not perfect. But I refuse to support the invasion of someone’s privacy or the theft of their property. I don’t buy the argument that it’s their fault for taking the photos. I don’t buy it’s their fault for their behavior. I don’t buy that I have a right to their private photos because they’ve posed nude in the past. Their privacy and property don’t belong to me or you. I won’t support the thieves who stole it. The same people who are blaming Hill for the publication of her private photos will shout you down for sharing photos from Melania Trump’s past, which were for publications she chose to pose for.

In Hill’s case, we didn’t need the photos for the story. We had the story. The photos were put out there to shame her by her estranged husband who shared them on porn sites. If anything, he should be brought up on criminal charges.

The reason for Hill’s resignation isn’t right either. She didn’t resign after an investigation proved she broke a law or an oath. She resigned because of revenge porn. There’s a double standard here.

The troglodytes who are getting off on this revenge porn overlook the fact that Congressman Duncan Hunter, also from California, was indicted on a charge of using campaign funds to support extramarital affairs with five women, and still hasn’t stepped down. Did I mention that was with FIVE women? Why is he still in office? Two reasons. He’s male and he’s a Republican.

It was only last year the House began prohibiting relationships between representatives and staffers, after decades or male congressman getting away with it. The first to be punished for it is an openly bisexual woman.

And then there’s the fact that while Republicans hoot and wag their fingers, they’re supporting a president who has bragged he’s grabbed women “by the pussy” and has been accused from assault to rape from over 20 women.

And Republicans are all about outing. Currently, they’re engaged in smearing a highly-decorated veteran as a spy for Ukraine, and they’re trying to out the whistleblower. It doesn’t bother Republicans they’re assaulting a veteran who still carries shrapnel in his body. It doesn’t matter to them that by exposing the whistleblower, they may endanger his life, as his lawyers have been facing death threats.

Republicans are constantly engaged in a scorched-earth campaign. But it’s fun to watch it burn them.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Republican Herd


cjones10262019

When you can’t counter facts and evidence, what do you do? You scream as loud as you can about the process, create a giant scene of faux outrage, and state a massive hissy fit. That’s exactly what Matt Gaetz led House Republicans to do yesterday.

Though Gaetz didn’t stampede a herd of cattle through the private impeachment hearing, delaying a witness from the Pentagon from testifying for five hours, he did find a bunch of poo-flinging monkeys in the form of fellow Republicans.

Republicans are crying about the Democratic-led hearings being held in secret, but they don’t have a leg to stand on. They say it defies precedent as previous impeachment hearings were public. But those impeachments reached the House AFTER the investigative process. What’s going on now is the investigative process, much like the Republican investigations into Benghazi and Fast & Furious, which also started in secret. After the investigative process, there will be public hearings. After Trump is impeached, he’ll have a trial in the Senate where yes, he will have a defense team. Granted, a very stupid defense team, but a defense team nevertheless.

Why hold the investigations in secret? One reason is so witnesses can’t collaborate from watching each others’ testimonies. The other reason is so House members don’t turn the hearings into a circus. Proving this point, yesterday, Matt Gaetz and a bunch of Republican clowns crashed a committee hearing yesterday.

Another complaint is that Republicans can’t participate or ask questions in these hearings. False and false. Forty-eight Republicans are on the committees in these hearings and they can ask questions. Here’s a fun fact: At least 13 of the Republicans staging the party-crashing yesterday WERE INVITED TO ATTEND THE HEARINGS! They’re on those committees. It’s like crashing a party you’re invited to. If they really wanted to take part in these hearings, then why didn’t they attend and question the witnesses instead of crashing it with idiot Gaetz and holding a pizza party? Yeah, they had pizza.

Another fun fact: These hearings are being held in a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility, commonly known as a SCIF (in case you’re a Republican, that’s what we call an “acronym”). There are rules that cell phones are not allowed into these facilities. Yet, this will totally come as not a surprise to you, several of these stupid Republicans brought in their devices. Some even live-streamed and tweeted from inside the room. So much for Republicans caring about national security.

Even more fun facts: House leader Kevin McCarthy and Donald Trump knew beforehand this was going to happen, and they approved.

And yet, another fun fact: Gaetz and his staff handed out expired congressional passes to some uncredentialed reporters and the crew of HBO’s The Swamp, which is documenting Gaetz’s efforts to combat the hearings, which is a violation of House rules.

Matt Gaetz and his band of stupid brothers are fortunate they weren’t arrested, but many believe that’s what they wanted as it would have made a bigger scene.

Republicans are complaining about secret hearings over Trump corruption they believe should have remained a secret. When these hearings go public, they’ll do everything they can to suppress and shout down witnesses. If they think it’s bad now, wait. Their defense isn’t going to improve.

Expect more Republican stampedes in the future because all they have is bullshit.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Digging Morbid Holes


cjones09022019

In 2009, after she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Senator Jim Bunning said, “Even though she was operated on, usually nine months is the longest that anybody would live.” Bunning was openly licking his chops at the opportunity to get rid of a Supreme Court justice as liberal as Ginsburg. Today, Bunning is dead and Ginsburg is still very much alive. Most Republicans salivating at the opportunity of her seat being filled by Donald Trump aren’t open about it. Others, not so much.

Last January, during a segment on Fox & Friends, a graphic aired showing Ginsburg’s photo along with “1933 – 2019.” They’re not very subtle over there at Fox & Friends.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has openly stated that if an opening occurs on the court in 2020, that he’d fill it, despite blocking President Obama’s nominee in 2016 with the argument it would be a cardinal sin to fill a seat during an election year. McConnell wasn’t just asked at a forum about an opening, the question was if a justice “dies.”

Last January, on the racist, alt-right podcast that you didn’t even know existed, Fash the Nation, hosts Jazzhands McFeels and Marcus Halberstram (is his name really “Jazzhands”?), were giddy over another Ginsburg cancer scare and said they “have the champagne on ice and the crab dance [meme] ready to go” when she dies. The crab dance is a reference to the 2018 celebratory “Crab Rave” song and they posted memes on Twitter of a crab lurking behind the Justice. Other racists joined in sharing memes of Ginsburg and crabs and once again, making liberals wonder what the hell they’re talking about. Republicans suck at humor and metaphors.

I think conservatives should take a lesson from Jim Bunning and think twice before speculating on the health of Ginsburg, or they may be the ones looking over their shoulders in fear of getting the pinch (see what I did there, conservatives? That’s how you do it).

There’s little doubt Republicans were feeling giddy upon hearing news this weekend that Ginsburg underwent another procedure to remove cancer. I’m also certain every liberal in the nation had heart fluctuations.

It’s not just morbid to speculate on and hope for ill health for Ginsburg. It’s cruel and disgusting. It’s also disgusting to hope the economy goes south to help your chances of winning an election. But, it’s not morbid to speculate on the economy. We’re always speculating on the economy.

Donald Trump faces a tough re-election in 2020 for reasons outside the economy. Mostly because he’s a vile, disgusting, racist, stupid human being who’s doing a lousy job as president and is an international embarrassment to the United States. But, if the economy goes down, so does Trump. I feel safe in saying there’s no way Donald Trump’s presidency can survive an economic downturn. If a recession hits before the election (and it will eventually hit), other Republicans will wish they had jumped into the presidential race.

The real questions about a recession are: When will it hit and how hard? I don’t want a recession and I think Trump can be defeated without one. Trust me on this; we don’t need an even bigger mess left by Trump for a Democrat to clean up.

I also hope Ginsburg stays in her seat as long as she wants, even after a Democrat enters the Oval Office. It’s not just her seat that’s so important, it’s her.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is an American hero and whoever is nominated, whether by a Republican or Democrat, has huge shoes to fill.

It’s tough to make predictions on the economy or vacancies on the Supreme Court, but one call easy to make with bullseye accuracy is that Republicans will continue to be heartless troglodytes.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.