Author: clayjonz

I draw political cartoons which are published in newspapers across the country. I also play guitar.

United Pillow Fight


cjones12132018

Donald Trump likes to hire people he thinks look good on television. White House sources said he was hesitant about hiring John Bolton as National Security Adviser because his mustache looks ridiculous. Walruses disagree.

Trump watches a lot of TV, specifically Fox & Friends. Morning schedules at the White House list the time block occupied by Trump’s favorite TV sycophants as “Executive Time.” Nothing else is scheduled in the mornings so Trump can watch his friends, and that’s probably not a terrible thing.

In addition to Bolton, he hired conspiracy theorist Joseph diGenova from Trump TV for his legal team before backtracking (sometimes you should actually meet the people first).  He’ll stray and hire from other networks too. Interim Attorney General Mathew Whitaker was an occasional guest on CNN bashing Robert Mueller, and Larry Kudlow was a CNBC contributor before becoming director of the National Economic Council.

Going on Fox News is like auditioning for a job in the Trump administration. Sean Hannity would probably be under consideration to replace John Kelly as Chief of Staff if he wasn’t already Trump’s top political adviser.

Now, Trump is moving Heather Nauert from her position as spokesperson for the State Department to replace Nikki Haley as ambassador to the United Nations. Guess where Heather Nauert worked before Trump hired her? I’m only asking because if you read this blog then you probably don’t watch a lot of Fox News.

Nauert impressed Trump at the State Department, especially that time she used D-Day as an example of our warm relationship with Germany. I’m not kidding. But, why should Trump’s hires have any actual experience with the jobs he’s putting them in when he doesn’t have any himself? Quite frankly, he might as well have picked the My Pillow guy.

The My Pillow guy is Mike Lindell. Like Trump, he’s a pitchman. He built his company on infomercials which is pretty much what Trump’s time at the White House has been. Trump’s spokesgoons have hawked Trump products, the state department website has advertised his crap, and every weekend gives free promotion to a Trump resort.

Another thing Lindell has in common with Trump, other than creeping me out on TV, is that his products don’t meet his promises.

I’ll give Lindell credit for overcoming a serious drug problem to create a company that makes American products, even if it’s a shitty one (Amazon reviewers describe it as lumpy, crunchy-sounding, and as a bag full of chopped-up foam). Good for him. But, you can’t claim it treats fibromyalgia, restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea, cerebral palsy, and acid reflux, among others. About the only thing he didn’t promise was a four-hour erection. The company had to pay around a million dollars after being sued by several counties in California. The Better Business Bureau also lowered the company’s ratings from an A+ to an F because of their buy one, get one free offer. The pillows are fifty bucks, but if you buy two for $100 then you’re getting that second for free. Does that make sense? Just sell the pillows for fifty bucks, dude and stop screwing with sleep-kicky old people who watch Fox.

Lindell is also a big Trump supporter and has gotten to hang out with him at Mar-a-Lago. Does Cheeto dust wash off the pillow? He also likes Laura Ingraham, whose only reason for not using My Pillow is because she sleeps upside down.  When advertisers were dropping her show after she made disparaging remarks toward school-shooting survivor David Hogg, My Pillow increased their advertising on her show by 62 percent. Basically, what you’re buying are hate pillows.

Trump told us he would hire the best and brightest. Later, he claims his former employees are stupid or weak, like Michael Cohen, Rex Tillerson, Jeff Sessions, and Omarosa. Later, he’ll say that he hired them out of sympathy. I don’t recall that on the campaign trail. You would think Attorney General would be too important for a sympathy job, but Trump treats it the same as letting that kid cut the White House grass. Did I see that kid on Fox & Friends?

The My Pillow Guy and his crunchy/lumpy pillow would fit right into this administration of grifters. Just beware of how Trump talks about his former hires.

Side note: I just hope you appreciate all the My Pillow ads I’m going to get now. And, if you see them on this site, sorry about that. It’s the algorithms. Don’t email me bitching about it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

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Costa Rica Vacay


crsta11302018

This cartoon first ran November 30, 2018, in The Costa Rica Star.

Where do people in Costa Rica go when on vacation? I wondered the same thing about Hawaii before I moved there, and then I found out. They go to Las Vegas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

 

Migrant-a-Lago


cjones12122018

Contrary to what a lot of Republicans believe, people do not enter this nation illegally to take advantage of social services and vote for Democrats. They enter this country for safety and employment.

Of course, it’s illegal to hire undocumented workers, but for some reason, they keep coming. That’s because American employers keep hiring them. There is a system called E-Verify where employers can check a potential hire’s papers to make sure it’s legal to employ them. But, there are companies that do not participate in this and will trust that the documents an immigrant provides are authentic. A lot of times, they know they’re not genuine, but they can claim ignorance if they’re ever caught. That’s exactly what the Trump Organization is doing, which is on an amazing streak of ignorance.

During the presidential campaign, Trump boasted that his new hotel in Washington was using E-Verify. Like he does about most issues, Trump was lying.

Victorina Morales works for Trump’s resort in Bedminster, New Jersey where she does jobs Americans don’t want, like making Donald Trump’s bed and cleaning his toilet. She entered the country illegally in 1999 and was hired by the Trump Organization using phony documents. She says the company knows she’s here illegally and there are several more employed like her. She says an employee of the golf course drives her and a group of others to work every day because it is known that they cannot legally obtain driver’s licenses.

Sandra Diaz entered from Costa Rica and is a legal resident now, but from 2010 to 2013, she too worked illegally at Bedminster.

Morales and Diaz told their story to The New York Times and said supervisors took steps to help workers evade detection and keep their jobs.

Morales says she feels she can no longer remain silent and is willing to risk her job and safety to speak out against Trump’s attacks on immigrants from Latin America, including equating them with violent criminals. She was also motivated by abusive comments from a supervisor at work about her intelligence and immigration status.

She says, “We are tired of the abuse, the insults, the way he talks about us when he knows that we are here helping him make money. We sweat it out to attend to his every need and have to put up with his humiliation.”

Donald Trump has used immigrants to make his bed, clean his toilet, and stoke fear into his racist base of supporters. He built his entire campaign from day one by vilifying immigrants, calling them “rapists,” and “murderers,” though he assumed some are “fine people.”

Those are probably the ones cleaning his toilet.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Paris…France…Underpants


cjones12112018

Like most things, Donald Trump does not understand the riots that have been ongoing in France. He retweeted a tweet from one of his sycophants saying the protests are about “radical leftists” fuel taxes and “We want Trump” was being chanted through the streets of Paris. Other conservatives have been claiming that the protests are against socialism.

The protests are partly about fuel taxes, which French president Emmanuel Macron planned to raise by about 30 cents a gallon and continue to increase over the next few years in a nation where gas is already over $7.00 a gallon. The protests aren’t against socialism, as the taxes aren’t going to social services. People aren’t screaming for an end to the government’s health and education system. And, there has been no chants of “we want Trump.”

Even the most rabid socialist doesn’t want to pay $7.00 a gallon for gas. This increase is hitting the middle class and hurting the rural population in France, making them feel that Macron has abandoned them and bailed on his promises.

Macron is using the tax to expand France’s economy and make it more pro-business. He’s trying to encourage the rich to invest more in the nation. A lot of people in France believe the rich are overtaxed, but they don’t want to be the ones to pick up the slack while cutting them a break.

Macron has actually been cutting social programs, scaling back labor protections, made it easier for companies to hire and fire, and fought unions to end subsidies. Shortly after taking office, he cut taxes for corporations and the wealthiest 10 percent of French households. He’s no Hugo Chavez.

France’s economy is growing, but slowly. Most of the growth is centered in the major cities, like Paris. The rural areas of the nation feel left out and the gas tax hurts them more than their urban countrymen, who don’t need to own cars as much.

The protests are more about an out-of-touch elitist president whose policies favor the wealthy and corporations at the expense of working-class French people than they are a middle-class rebellion against Marxism. And, they’re definitely not a call for a leader like Donald Trump. I doubt the French would want a president copying the mega tax cut Trump has given to the rich in the United States.

Donald Trump has experts in intelligence, economics, and foreign relations who can explain things to him. Of course, for him to learn from them, he would have to actually listen and comprehend the information. Unfortunately, the president of the United States is much like your crazy uncle and gets most of his information from memes on social media. This is why Trump still believes, even after having it explained to him twice by Bill Gates that HPV and HIV is the same thing. Why he’s harassing poor Bill Gates about that, I do not know.

Trump understands the French protests, HIV, and HPV about as well as he understands tariffs. Trump says he’s a “tariff man,” which is like saying he’s a tax guy. He brags that his tariffs are bringing in millions, not understanding that money is mostly coming from Americans paying for his stupid tariffs. Tariffs are taxes.

Now, thanks in large parts to Trump’s tariffs, the stock market is weakening and doing scary stuff, the economy is slowing down, Factories are closing, people are losing jobs, the deficit is growing even larger, and the U.S. trade deficit is at its highest level in over a decade. In fact, the deficit with China, in particular, is at a record high.

Trump lied about having a deal with China and the stock market started to rebound. When it was discovered, and the administration actually admitted, that Trump lied about a deal, the market started to tank again. Trump has based his entire economic prowess on the stock market and the trade deficit. Now, we’re seeing what we already knew. There is no prowess. Traders need to stop making decisions based upon the shit that comes out of Captain Dumbass’ mouth.

Tariffman is not a slow learner as there’s no learning whatsoever.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Carolina Cheaters


cjones12102018

Republicans love to talk about voter fraud. They can’t shut up about it. Never mind that there were only four documented cases of it in 2016, they can’t stop yapping. They use it as a distraction, a fear tactic, and an excuse for when they lose, but when a case of it is actually discovered, Republicans are silent. Why is that? Because, when it does happen it’s usually committed by…wait for it…REPUBLICANS!!!

A Republican won North Carolina’s Ninth Congressional District, which was not a huge surprise. Thanks to gerrymandering, Republicans won ten of that state’s 13 congressional districts despite Democrats receiving 50% of the vote (are you getting tired of that shit yet?). But, that advantage isn’t good enough for some members of the GOP.

The state has decided to delay certification of the results in that district’s election amid allegations of an effort to fill in or discard the absentee ballots of Democratic voters.

Republican Mark Harris, who beat incumbent Robert Pittenger in the primary, leads Democrat Dan McCready in the race by only 905 votes (out of around two hundred and eighty thousand cast).

The state is investigating allegations that an operative for Harris (the Republican) paid people to go door-to-door and collect absentee ballots. In Bladen and Robeson counties, Harris won an unusually high share of mail-in absentee-ballot votes. Bladen was the only county where the Republican prevailed in the mail-in-absentee vote, winning sixty-one percent of the votes from mail-in ballots, despite registered Republicans accounting for only nineteen percent of the county’s returned absentee ballots. The only way that was possible was for Harris to win not only all of the Republican ballots but almost every single mail-in vote from Independents, plus a significant number of votes from crossover Democrats. If you’re a Republican, there’s nothing fishy to this.

Also, in those two counties, about forty percent and sixty-two percent, respectively, of requested mail-in absentee ballots were never turned in. Not surprising at all, In Robeson County, seventy-five percent of the absentee ballots requested by African-Americans and sixty-nine percent of those requested by Native Americans were never received by the state. People don’t normally request absentee ballots to not turn them in. Did they think it was the form for Columbia House (you millennials won’t get that)?

Harris says the state should go ahead and certify his victory while they’re investigating because there aren’t enough missing ballots to change the outcome of the election. But, about sixteen hundred mail-in absentee ballots were requested in the two counties and not returned, in a race decided by fewer than a thousand votes (In case you’re a Republican, 1,000 is less than 1,600). Harris says it’s a disservice to the state not to go ahead and seat him, ignoring the disservice of stealing the election.

Now, there are also questions about the results of the Republican primary. Harris may have even cheated his fellow Republican.

Republicans cheat. They have a Supreme Court that allows PACS to finance campaigns basically without any limits. They gerrymander districts which let Republicans pick their voters instead of the other way around. They suppress votes of minorities when they’re not busy kicking them off the voter rolls. They get help from Russian hackers. And, when they still lose, they use their lame-duck sessions to strip power from the incoming Democrats. Now, they’re literally taking ballots out of Democratic voters’ hands and throwing them away.

The good news is the House of Representatives, which will be controlled by Democrats in January, can refuse to seat Harris. There are calls for a new election in the Ninth District, and there should be, and maybe even another Republican primary.

Voters should be represented by the people they actually vote for, and Republicans should stop taking that away from them.

This week, you’ve probably heard Republicans talk more about French socialism than North Carolina voter fraud.

Side note: Remember the movie The Lost World? I was always bothered by the Tyrannosaurus eating the dog in San Diego. He also ate the screenwriter outside of a Blockbuster, but that’s OK because that guy probably wrote for the dog to die (I bet he was also responsible for the Japanese tourists running from the T-Rex as if it was Godzilla. Yeah, eat that guy). The poor dog was chained to his dog house…in a fenced yard. People, if you can’t have a dog without chaining him where he can’t escape being eaten by dinosaurs, then you don’t deserve to own a dog.

I liked the way the black-and-white version turned out, so I’m gonna let you see that too.

cjones12102018

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

New Love/Hate


cjones12092018

The only thing Republicans fear and hate more than a liberal old white woman is a young brown one.

The GOP has been bashing Hillary Clinton since 1992. They’ve gaslighted the nation to the point that most people who hate Clinton can’t state anything factual to hate her over. They’ve been at Nancy Pelosi since the Bush 43 era and argue she’s too old to be Speaker of the House, despite the fact their Senate Majority leader is only two years younger. Elizabeth Warren is a fairly new target for them, but they can’t go at her without exhibiting racism. I’ll give you one guess why they hate Maxine Waters.

Maybe they’re getting bored with the women listed above because they’ve recently taken to attacking Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who will be the youngest member in the history of the House of Representatives when she assumes office in January. Ocasio-Cortez defeated Democratic Caucus Chair Joe Crowley in a primary and will represent a district that covers parts of Queens and the Bronx.

Ocasio-Cortez has everything Republicans need to hate. First off, she’s a she. We know how Republicans feel about women. She’s a self-described Democratic-Socialist, which really freaks out people who equate that with Venezuela instead of Norway. She’s a millennial, and they hate people who resemble their constituency. Finally, she’s a minority, and…yeah. The future of America is going to be a lot browner than white and that scares the living daylights out of the GOP. They can’t gerrymander fast enough to prevent it.

With the way the GOP is trying to destroy her, you would think she was a major presidential contender or possessed the Donald Trump pee tape. A day doesn’t seem to go by without some GOP flunky going after her on Twitter or Fox News.

Ocasio-Cortez revealed her plight of being unemployed for three months before she takes office and being unable to afford an apartment in Washington. Fox News, which is made up of millionaires, mocked and derided her for lacking affordable housing options. They failed to notice that this problem truly makes her a representative of America. They also failed to mention that around 50 Republican congressmen sleep in their offices because they claim they can’t afford a D.C. apartment.

There was a scandal over her wearing nice clothes to her orientation at the capital, which was a brouhaha Washington hadn’t seen since Obama put mustard on a cheeseburger.

Fox News’ resident Nazi-sympathizer Laura Ingraham ran a segment on Ocasio-Cortez threatening our nation with healthcare.

An editor for Daily Caller, Virginia Kruta, attended an Ocasio-Cortez rally and was petrified that the crowd was eager for healthcare, an education, and a living wage being a human right and accepting that the government has a responsibility to provide them. She wrote, “They talk about things that everybody wants, especially, like, if you are a parent.”

The Right isn’t sure how to handle her because she’s good with social media, and she fights back. A Washington Examiner columnist deleted his tweet after attacking her wardrobe.

Sean Hannity ran a segment, trying to scare his audience, listing her agenda of Medicare for all, housing as a human right, federal jobs guarantee, gun control, criminal justice reform, and end to private prisons, abolishing ICE, immigration justice, solidarity with Puerto Rico, fighting Climate Change, clean up campaign finance, higher education for all, women’s rights, and support of LGBTQ. Is Hannity bashing her or creating her campaign ads?

What they’re really afraid of is that she understands struggling in this nation and that giving more of our money to billionaires isn’t going to help the majority. She has a voice, and she knows how to use it.

When Mike Huckabee falsely accused her in a tweet of comparing her election victory to the moon landing, she hit back with, “Leave the false statements to Sarah Huckabee. She’s much better at it.”

She used Twitter to point out that as a member of Congress, she gets to pick her health insurance plan, and as a waitress, she had to pay twice as more than as a member of Congress. She tweeted, “It’s frustrating that Congressmembers would deny other people affordability that they themselves enjoy.”

That’s the voice of reason and understanding that scares Republicans. Hopefully, in their fear and hysteria, they’ll keep pointing it out. If she’s kicking their asses at 29, imagine what she’s going to do after she gains some experience.

What should scare them most of all is that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the future, and she’s not alone.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Sully


cjones12082018

Sully is a star.

He has his own Instagram page with over 183,000 followers. His image has been seen on socks worn by President George H. W. Bush, who was also his best friend. He was seen accompanying Bush while he was voting in the midterms. A heartbreaking photo of him lying by the president’s coffin has gone viral. Did I mention Sully is a dog? A yellow lab, to be specific.

Sully is a service dog for veterans, which was appropriate for Bush who was a World War II naval veteran, the youngest aviator at the time in the U.S. Navy, and shot down over the Bonin Islands.

Sully was acquired by Bush after the passing of Barbara. Sully completed his mission of serving Bush, and instead of staying with the Bush family, he will now take on new missions to help other veterans at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. President George W Bush said in a statement, “As much as our family is going to miss this dog, we’re comforted to know he’ll bring the same joy to his new home.”

Sully came from America’s VetDogs, and they are usually sent to another assignment.

The Bush family is dog people. Bush 41 brought Millie, a Springer Spaniel to the White House, and she even “wrote” a book. Millie gave birth to one litter of puppies and one of those, Spot, returned to the White House with Bush 43, which made him the first second-generation First Dog. Spot was accompanied by Barney, a Scotty. Barney once bit a reporter, which might give Trump second thoughts about having his own dog in the White House.

It was questioned whether Trump would be welcomed to the funeral of the 41st president, as the family is not a fan of his, and he wasn’t welcomed at the funeral for Barbara Bush. But, being a sitting president, Trump will be in attendance though he has not been invited to give a eulogy. There are concerns Trump will…sully things up, knock things over, leave a stain, etc.

There is no doubt Sully is welcomed. Sometimes, dogs are better people than people.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.