Author: clayjonz

I draw political cartoons which are published in newspapers across the country. I also play guitar.

Happy Exploding Little Trees


cjones09182020

We do not have invisible airplanes. You can’t stop a hurricane by dropping a nuclear bomb on it. Energy efficient lightbulbs don’t make you appear orange. You can’t catch cancer from windmills. You can’t cure coronavirus by ingesting bleach or fish tank cleaner. Simply raking forests doesn’t prevent wildfires. And trees do not explode.

In 1998, I moved to Fredericksburg Virginia and I enrolled my eight-year-old son into Hugh Mercer Elementary. While driving him to school on his first day, he asked me why it was named “Hugh Mercer.” I told him Hugh Mercer was a great dude who lived in this town over two hundreds years ago. My son asked me what made him great? I said, “Because he did great things” My son asked, “What kind of great things?” Dammit, kid.

I told my son that Hugh Mercer did great things like stop a dinosaur alien invasion hundreds of years ago with a magic sword. He slayed half the dinosaur aliens and the other half flew away in their dinosaur alien space ships, crying all the way until they got to their home world, Dinosauranus. Everyone was so happy, they named an elementary school after him because that’s what you get when you stop a dinosaur alien invasion.

My eight-year-old looked at me the same way he does today at the age of 30. Like I’m an idiot.

That’s exactly how Trump sycophants should look at Donald Trump when he says stupid shit like, “With regard to the forest, when trees fall down after a short period of time, about 18 months, they become very dry, they become really like a match stick and they get up you know there’s no more water pouring through and they become very, very they just explode. They can explode.”

The difference between me selling my kid a load of horse shit and Donald Trump selling a load to his base is that I know I’m selling horse shit. Does Donald Trump know? My son is extremely smart and was even at eight. He also had an imagination and knew I had one too. But, shouldn’t adult Trump supporters be smarter than an eight-year-old?

Do you know how you know when you’re in a cult? When you accept lies as truth…even when you know they’re lies. You’ll also know you’re in a cult when you start defending those lies as truth. I’m sure some Trump cultists are already explaining that trees do indeed explode.

For the record, trees do not explode.

How crazy is it that in the fight to refute climate change, to call it a hoax and a political agenda, that you have to create crazy impossible shit that makes you sound like a dumbass? But then again, Trump is talking to a cult that believes there are deep state lizard people worshiping Satan while eating babies in the basement of a Washington pizza parlor.

If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound? If it explodes and there’s no one around, does that make a sound? If Donald Trump says a bunch of stupid shit and there’s no sycophants there to hear it, is Donald Trump still a dumbass? Yes. He’s still a dumbass.

And please, do not read this to a Trump supporter. I don’t want to have to explain to them there aren’t any dinosaur aliens invading us from the planet Dinosauranus.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

He Blinded Me With Stupid


cjones09172020

Donald Trump is not a person who relies on facts. And a person who doesn’t rely on facts typically doesn’t believe in science. A humble person will admit to what they don’t know and listen to experts. Donald Trump will tell people who have spent their entire lives studying a subject, and without having any knowledge of it himself, tell them they’re wrong. Donald Trump is not a humble person. He doesn’t even know what it is not to know.

While speaking to the governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and other government officials, Trump argued against climate change. After weeks of silence about the wildfires in the western part of the nation, Donald Trump said, “I don’t think science knows what is happening.” Yeah, science is the confused one here.

Donald Trump doesn’t believe in climate change and has claimed it’s a hoax created by China. He’s not good with science…or knowing stuff in general.

After being handed special sunglasses and told not to stare into an eclipse, Donald Trump stared into an eclipse. If it burned out any brain cells, we’ll never notice.

Donald Trump asked about nuking a hurricane. He tried to change the direction of a hurricane with a Sharpie. He ordered government scientists to lie about the direction of a hurricane so it would jive with his mad Sharpie ninja skills.

Donald Trump asked if there was a way to cure people with covid-19 by drinking bleach. He’s touted other bogus remedies.

He thinks our government has invisible airplanes…or maybe we do and that’s another national security secret he exposed.

He thinks liberal lightbulbs make him appear orange…and it’s not his three inches of orange makeup.

He believes windmills cause cancer.

And with wildfires, he believes the lack of raking forests is a bigger cause than climate change.

Sure, we need better management of forests, (most of those being burned right now are on federal property…which Trump heads), but climate change is a very real factor, and science knows it.

Raking the forests doesn’t have anything to do with extreme weather. Having a rake won’t change the direction of the wind. It won’t make the air less dry. Rakes don’t stop hurricanes, droughts, flooding, tornadoes, a even a giant orange cloud smothering our nation.

Donald Trump promises the fires would decrease as it’s about to get cooler. He also promises the coronavirus would magically disappear by Easter. Today, there are nearly 195,000 dead from the virus…the Trump Virus. We can call the wildfires “Trump Fires.”

Joe Biden called Donald Trump a “climate arsonist” yesterday. Donald Trump pulled our nation out of the Paris Climate Accord, so yeah. He’s a climate arsonist.

The most science Donald Trump understands is that he knows he doesn’t want you to sneeze on him. Other than that, Trump doesn’t care if the world burns. Just give him eight more years.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Churchill, FDR…Trump?


cjones09162020

If you want to be compared to great people, then do great things. If you do that, then other people will compare you to great people and you won’t have to do it yourself.

That’s exactly why Donald Trump has to compare himself to greatness…because nobody else will. At it stands now, some of the most popular nicknames for Trump are Hair Fuhrer, Twitler, and Il Douchey.

After it was revealed Donald Trump intentionally downplayed the coronavirus and continued lying to the public, he defended himself by saying he didn’t want people to panic. Some of his own people, like spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany, said he didn’t downplay it while he’s on the Woodward recording literally saying he was likes downplaying it and will continue to do so.

Donald Trump is arguing that “downplaying” the dangers of the virus, like telling people it was less dangerous than the flu even though he knew that was a huge and dangerous lie, was real leadership. Why, it was leadership on the scale of Winston Churchill and Franklin Delano Roosevelt during World War II.

Donald Trump made the argument, that he was protecting the public, ironically at a Trump rally which always turns out to be covid parties. Donald Trump will kill you, like he killed Herman Cain, to stay in power.

What Donald Trump is doing is trying to absolve himself of culpability in the death of over 190,000 Americans. Another great leader, President Teddy Roosevelt, said, “The buck stops here.” With Trump, the buck is pushed onto someone else to pay.

Barking at his hate rally like he tends to do, Trump compared himself to the greatness of Churchill and FDR, while lying. The thing is, those two leaders leveled with their people.

Sure, when at war, you don’t tell the public everything, but Americans knew Japan caused huge damage at Pearl Harbor and thousands of sailors were dead. The English knew of the huge retreat at Dunkirk and there was no hiding the Blitz, the German bombing campaign of England.

Comparing himself to Churchill, the barking lunatic said, “We have to be calm. We don’t want to be crazed lunatics. … When Hitler was bombing London, Churchill, a great leader, would oftentimes go to a roof in London and speak. And he always spoke with calmness.”

No. Churchill did observe the bombings from a rooftop at times, but he never gave a speech during them. Hey, can everybody ignore the bombings for a minute and listen to what I have to say? I assure you, it’ll be calm and eloquent. Also, “crazed lunatics?” What sort of lunatics should we be?

If you want a real comparison between Churchill and Twitler, I mean Trump…Churchill went to the rooftops while Nazis were dropping bombs on his city. When there were loud protesters outside the White House, Donald Trump hid in the bunker. Later he said he was only “inspecting” it, which is what a teenage boy says when he gets caught doing you know what in the shower.

In 1940, Churchill told his people, “”We have before us many, many long months of struggle and suffering.” Donald Trump told us the virus would disappear by April and “anyone who needs a test gets a test.” Donald Trump called it a “Democratic hoax.” Donald Trump said it wasn’t worse than the flu. Donald Trump told us kids are “virtually immune.” Donald Trump told us to drink bleach.

Instead of telling us we have “many long months of struggle and suffering,” Trump told us to go shopping, go to church, go to school, and go to political hate rallies.

FDR told us, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” With pardoned Trump goon Roger Stone saying Donald Trump should declare martial law and arrest all his enemies if he loses the election, the biggest thing we have to fear now is Cheeto Hitler retaining power by any means necessary.

Donald Trump told Bob Woodward he likes dictators more than democratically-elected leaders. That alone should tell you we don’t want Trump to have a second term.

Donald Trump pales in comparison to leaders like Churchill, FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, Lincoln, and even Ronald Reagan. His favorite president, racist murdering Andrew Jackson, tells you all you need to know.

Who you can compare Trump to are people like Hitler, Mussolini, Idi Amin, Kim Jong Un, Saddam Hussein, and Muammar Gaddafi.

Donald Trump is no Churchill. He’s no FDR. If he retains power, he’ll become America’s first dictator.

Correction: It was President Harry Truman who said, “The buck stops here,” not Teddy Roosevelt. I knew that so I don’t know why I mucked it up. Shout-out to Shari for the correction in an email.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Roughing It, Volume 63


Time for roughs from last week.

I might be the only cartoonist in the world who enjoys drawing crowds.

CNN picked this for their opinion newsletter.

And I forgot to put “MAGA” on the caps. D’oh! It’s not the first time.

I really liked this one so I went with it.

This got a lot of play on social media, and about as much as the new Facebook format would allow.

The hits to my site are way down since Facebook redesigned which means Facebook is preventing people from seeing my posts (probably because they want to pay to promote the posts). And, they did it at the same time WordPress did a redesign. I hate both of them.

And WordPress, in case you’re reading this, I think the new format for posting is pointless. The site looks the same but creating each blog post requires more steps. It’s very cumbersome and it makes me hate you which you already know from the email I sent with all the F-bombs.

Sorry for that rant. Let’s move on.

And, before it only took two steps to post an image. Now it takes five. I’m sorry. I’ll move on now. This rough was withheld from you last week because I thought I’d draw it this week. I didn’t. So, let me post it for you here now. I still may go back and do it. So, prepare for maybe seeing it again in a finished cartoon.

I think this might be the one rough that’s everyone’s favorite. We’ll see.

Now this is a little cumbersome.

I knew I wasn’t going to finish this but it was fun. I did a full-color sketch of Trump in his high heels and predicted other cartoonists would start including them. Last week, I saw one by Bill Bramhall from The New York Daily News. No, he didn’t copy me. He’s the kind of cartoonist who catches things like that. I’m a fan.

I kinda dug this one.

Those flapping bat goons are supposed to be Rudy and Stephen Miller. This one still makes me laugh. I just realized it reminds me of an old Bugs Bunny cartoon where he does this to a vampire.

OK. Which cartoons is your favorite?

Hey, Hey, Hater Kansas City


cjones09152020

I know from the history of this website that I have readers who don’t watch football. I know. Crazy. I once had a reader tell me I should go into more depth to explain who Tom Brady is. But anyway, let me give the backstory to this.

Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs are racist assholes. There. Backstory done.

No? OK. I’ll provide more information.

In case you’re a Republican, Kansas City, where the Chiefs of the National Football League play, is in Missouri. It’s not in Kansas like Donald Trump believes. Seriously. But anyway, Thursday night was the kickoff to the new NFL season. While most game won’t have fans in attendance, the Chiefs allowed about 17,000 into the 60,000 plus stadium to watch the game. And during a moment of unity, the fans booed.

What? Who boos unity? Apparently, Kansas City boos unity.

Let’s get something straight here. To believe in unity is to believe in peace. To believe we’re all equal and should have the same civil rights, opportunities, and equality is not a crazy Democratic Party, radical-left, foie gras-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, long-haired hippy, commie ideal. It shouldn’t be political to believe we should all get along. It shouldn’t be partisan to think our children should live in a world where they’ll never experience hate directed at them.

After it was announced that in addition to the national anthem being performed before the game, that “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” considered to be the black national anthem, would also be performed, conservatives became outraged. How weird is that? If they weren’t told it was the black national anthem, they would have been fine with it. I’ll bet you a hairy nickel they wouldn’t have been outraged if the song being added was “Sweet Home, Alabama.”

Basically, these people are saying they’re done with the NFL because the league wants to be nice to black people. Donald Trump yells it’s why the ratings are going down.

Before, these jerks were outraged at Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during the national anthem and lied claiming he was disrespecting our troops when he was really taking a knee for equality and against racism and oppression.

Donald Trump, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement in the United States doesn’t believe white privilege or systemic racism exists and that anyone who does has “drank the Kool-Aid.”

But in Kansas City, they took it a step further by booing unity. When the players of both teams locked arms for a moment of silence, it wasn’t silent. The crowd booed. Conservatives aren’t happy with loud protests or silent protests. So, when can we protest against racism? Oh, never? Yeah, that’s it. Donald Trump teargassed a peaceful crowd for protesting racism.

The Chiefs fans didn’t boo kneeling during the national anthem. They didn’t boo a statement like, “Defund the police.” They didn’t boo a giant picture of George Floyd. They didn’t boo the organization Black Lives Matter. They didn’t boo someone saying, “Black lives matter.” They booed equality. They booed peace. You would have thought from the boos that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was singing “Say It Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud” while burning a pile of cheeseburgers and standing on an American flag.

But no, These fuckers were booing something anti-racist. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, we’ll keep our racism, thank you very much.”

Booing unity is like booing puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. Puppies, tacos, and sandwiches are awesome. Everybody likes puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. But then again, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement doesn’t like puppies, eats his tacos in a bowl, and only eats sandwiches from McDonald’s.

Last year, I was very happy for the coach of the Chiefs, Andry Reid. They won the Super Bowl and it was a long time coming for the old coach. I think Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the league and he’s an awesome kid. But, I will be rooting against the Chiefs this year. I’m not so much rooting against the Chiefs as I am against Chiefs fans.

You booed unity, Kansas City. What the hell is wrong with you to boo unity?

Boo, Chiefs fans. They’re a bunch of racist jerks.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

MAGAt Love


cjones09142020

For the past two days, a MAGAt has been posting on my YouTube channel that Donald Trump “has the best foreign policy anyone alive has ever seen.” That’s some serious MAGAt love right there.

From Bob Woodward’s new book about Donald Trump, he gives us a look at the “love letters” from Kim Jong Un to Donald Trump. It was Trump who described these as “love letters.” He thinks they’re beautiful. And if you’re wondering how Bob Woodward gained access to these letters, he got them through Donald Trump (who also gave him some national security secrets). Woodward was not allowed to copy the letters so I assume he was able to memorize them. He’s a smart guy.

In one letter, Kim wrote, “I cannot forget that moment of history when I firmly held Your Excellency’s hand at that beautiful and sacred location as the whole world watched with great interest and hope to relive the honor of that day.”

He described their Singapore summit as “reminiscent of a scene from a fantasy film.”

He once wrote, “My regards also to the First Lady and the rest of your family and all your people, and I wish everyone good health and happiness and hope that everyone’s dream will become a beautiful reality.”

And then it gets creepy. “Every minute we shared 103 days ago in Hanoi was also a moment of glory that remains a precious memory.”

He described their relationship as a “deep and special friendship between us will work as a magical force.” Sheesh. Get a room already.

Donald Trump told Bob Woodward that Kim called President Obama an “asshole,” which surely was a way to get on Trump’s good side. He also described to Trump the murder of his uncle by firing squad in graphic detail. For some reason, Kim thought Trump would get off on that. He was probably right. And if I have to read another one of these “love letters,” I may request a firing a squad.

And what have we as a nation gotten out of the Trump/Kim relationship? Well, Kim did return three hostages to us, but then again, President Obama (you know, that “asshole”) got North Korea to release ten hostages. In case you’re a MAGAt, ten is more than three.

We also haven’t engaged in a nuclear war with North Korea thanks to their “deep and special friendship that works as a magical force.” But I just remembered, we never engaged in a nuclear war with North Korea before Trump either.

Donald Trump did get Kim Jong Un to sign a treaty that guarantees…well, nothing actually. It’s a bunch of promises that they’ll maybe possibly consider doing things that we’d like them to do very much eventually. Really.

Donald Trump pulled us from the Iran nuclear treaty which was a lot stronger than the empty one-page treaty he signed with North Korea that promises kinda sorta maybes. Thanks to Trump’s foreign policy, Iran will eventually create a nuclear weapon.

Thanks to Donald Trump’s foreign policy, the climate will become even worse because he pulled us from the Paris Climate Accord. Climate change is actually a greater threat to our nation than stuff like immigration and Antifa. Really.

Donald Trump has coddled dictators and tyrants while disparaging our NATO allies. If he’s reelected, he’ll most likely pull us out of NATO and get a hotel room with Putin.

Donald Trump started a trade war with China which was stupid.

Donald Trump has ignored Vladimir Putin placing bounties on our troops, poisoning dissidents, and attacking our elections…but you can rest easy because he declared Canadian cheese a threat to our national security.

Now that we’ve seen the love letters from Kim Jong Un, I want to see the love letters from Donald Trump. I want to see what he’s written to Kim but more importantly, I want to see the love letters he’s written to Vladimir Putin. If Donald Trump was so desperate to impress Bob Woodward, oh my god what has he told Putin?

After reading them, I’ll probably throw up in my mouth.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Widespread Panic


cjones09132020

Donald Trump’s excuse for lying to the public about the realities of the coronavirus is that he didn’t want to cause a panic. That’s what he told Bob Woodward on the tapes. That’s what Kayleigh McEnany told us yesterday. And that’s what Trump repeated and claimed was leadership. But those of us who live in reality have already been panicking since election night in 2016.

After Bob Woodward’s book “Fear” came out without any cooperation from Donald Trump, he decided to be interviewed for the next one. For “Rage,” Donald Trump gave 18 interviews. He agreed to be recorded. As it turns out, he’d often call Woodward late at night, probably right after he got off the phone with Sean Hannity.

It’s not shocking Donald Trump would lie to us. I even saw that as a defense from one fucknut on social media yesterday. What’s shocking is that Donald Trump totally understood the dangers of the virus, that it was worse than the flu, it was airborne, it was dangerous to children, and that he admitted all of that to Bob Woodward on tape. Yes, Donald Trump agreed to be recorded.

Kayleigh McEnany defended Donald Trump yesterday and argued he never downplayed the virus. The problem here for Ms. McEnany, who swore on her first day on the job as Donald Trump’s spokesgoon that she’d never lie to us, is that on the recording, Donald Trump says he’s “downplaying” it and he likes “downplaying” it.

OK. Let’s accept that for a second. He didn’t want to cause a panic. That makes it sound as if he was genuinely concerned for the public’s safety…even though he acted irresponsibly. But, if he had the public’s safety in mind, then why did he continue to hold Trump rallies? Trump held five rallies after his confession to Woodward that the virus was more dangerous than the flu. He put thousands of lives at risk. His friend, Herman Cain died after a rally. Donald Trump continues to politicize and mock people for wearing face masks. He pushed states to reopen. He screamed for people to pack churches. He campaigned to put kids back in schools. He continued to describe it as the flu. Donald Trump disregarded your and your family’s safety.

Donald Trump didn’t just keep information to himself. He lied about it. He claimed it was the “Democrats new hoax.” He said it’d disappear by April. He said, “Everyone who needs a test, gets a test.”

We knew how dangerous the virus was. Donald Trump didn’t know anything we didn’t know already. But, his lying about it fed his base bullshit. His base doesn’t listen to facts. They only listen to Trump. If Donald Trump had acted more swiftly in March to shut down factories, schools, and stopped conducting rallies…and maybe had told his people to wear face masks instead of tweeting out, “Liberate Michigan,” it would have saved thousands of lives.

From calling service members “losers and suckers,” to disclosures that intelligence on Russian meddling was withheld to save him from embarrassment, to withholding information on a virus and costing more lives, each day contains more revelations that Donald Trump is the worst president in American history.

Woodward’s new book also reveals people closest to Donald Trump believe he’s a disaster. Former Defense Secretary James Mattis called Trump “dangerous” and “unfit.” Dan Coats, former director of national intelligence, wanted to take “collective action” and speak out publicly against Trump. Coats also said Trump “doesn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie” and believed the Russians had something on Trump.

Dr. Anthony Fauci told Woodward Trump’s attention span is like a “minus number.”

Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner told people the book “Alice in Wonderland” can help them understand the Trump presidency, and described him as the Cheshire Cat. This was Kushner speaking positively about Trump.

Also in the book, Trump said, “My fucking generals are a bunch of pussies” who care more about military alliances than trade deals. He also rejected having any white privilege and accused Woodward of “drinking the Kool-Aid” for believing in systemic racism.

Yesterday, I saw a post from a Trump supporter attempting to defend the revelations that Trump was lying about the virus. He, trying to be clever, “marked himself safe from Donald Trump not creating a panic.” I like he used that because it shows what Trump conservatives find humorous and clever. But it was a huge fail at being clever as it also shows how obtuse and stupid Trumplicans are because there’s over 190,000 who can’t “mark themselves safe” from the Donald Trump presidency.

What Donald Trump did was irresponsible, negligent, careless, and criminal. He betrayed the American people. Protecting the American people is job number one for a president. Donald Trump failed. Donald Trump only protects Donald Trump.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about creating a panic except when he cares enough to create a panic. He’s been fear mongering since 2015. He runs on panic. Panic is all he has.

If you really want to avoid creating a panic, then don’t put a stupid racist narcissistic reality TV show host into the White House.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Woodward Strikes Again


cjones09122020

What’s more shocking? That Donald Trump withheld that he understood fully well just how dangerous the conoravirus was while he was playing it down to the rest of the nation…or that Donald Trump understood something fully well?

This is a bonus cartoon and more information is coming out about this. I want to learn more, and wait for more reactions, before I write a lot about it. I owe you a blog on this. 

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Latinos For Trump


cjones09112020

Donald Trump is doing better with Hispanic and Latino voters than he did four years ago. What? After four years of “shithole” countries, building a wall, ICE raids, ripping families apart, forcing children to defend themselves in immigration court, and putting babies in cages, his approval is up with Latinos?

Joe Biden is leading with the Hispanic/Latino vote by 20 percent, but that’s nationally. In Florida, Donald Trump leads Biden among Hispanics/Latinos by two to four points, depending on the poll. In Miami-Dade County, where Donald Trump lost the Hispanic/Latino vote by 30 percent in 2016, he’s leading now by a point. In 2016, Hillary Clinton won two thirds of that vote in Florida.

In Florida and Arizona, Hispanic/Latino voters make up 20 percent of the population. This is an extremely important vote to win.

So, why is racist “A Mexican judge isn’t fit to judge me” Donald Trump doing so well with this demographic? It’s kinda like the evangelical vote in a way where you have supposed Christians supporting an accused rapist and friend of pedophiles. Or, it’s like Trump still doing well with military families even after saying a POW is only a hero because he got captured and “I like people who weren’t captured.” It doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Where Donald Trump is doing well is with Hispanics and Latinos who are evangelical and a generation removed from immigration. Basically, just like most Trump voters, it’s all about them and they don’t care about other people. He’s also doing well with his anti-socialism message with those of Cuban and Venezuelan descent. The bullshit fear thing is working on a large segment of them.

This could be just in time for Donald Trump as his support among older white Americans, suburbanites, and the military is thinning.

You can argue these Hispanic and Latino Trump supporters are voting against their best interest and they’re morons, But the way I see it, all Trump supporters are voting against their best interests and are morons. Donald Trump is destroying this nation and that affects all of us, white, black, brown, etc. The only people who should be excited about Donald Trump are billionaire assholes, anti-abortion zealots, Russians, and his stupid kids who will become even richer billionaire assholes.

Some people point out that the black supporters who speak out publicly for Donald Trump are kinda nuts, like Michael “The Black Man” who would show up behind Trump at his rallies holding a sign reading, “Blacks for Trump.” But it’s not black or brown Trump supporters who are fucknuts. All Trump supporters are fucknuts. All Trump supporters are vile petty selfish little shitweasels who only care about themselves. They don’t care about this country and they definitely don’t give two shits about the world they’ll leave for future generations.

Joe Biden has focused more on the black vote, but now he’s directing more attention to the Hispanic/Latino vote because if he doesn’t, it could cost him the presidency. While he leads Trump nationally by 20 points, Clinton was up by 38. And while Biden is leading Trump in Texas by ten, Clinton beat him by 27. Joe has some work to do. Winning Florida or Arizona could deliver Biden the presidency. If he actually gets both, I predict he wins the White House.

Donald Trump doing well with Hispanics is as messed up and bizarre as him being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by a Norwegian. What? That just happened? Shit.

But, that Norwegian is a white supremacist who believes hijabs are the equivalent of KKK robes. Hey, Latino Americans…what’s your excuse?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Gender Wildfire Party


cjones09102020

This is the first I’ve heard of gender reveal parties, unless I heard of them a while back and forgot which is entirely possible. Are you like me in that upon hearing about it, you wonder if it’s actually how it sounds?

At first, I was wondering if maybe it was a party where you invite friends and family who don’t know it’s a gender reveal party. And then, after everyone’s arrived and a had a few drinks, you reveal you have a new gender and everyone goes home feeling awkward. I’d like to go to that party.

But no. It’s something that started off pretty innocent over a decade ago. And of course, it didn’t start off as exciting and potentially dangerous as I imagined. Hell, they’re not even supposed to be political. It’s just a party where an expecting couple reveal the gender of their baby. 

And it did start off innocently. Usually it was done with a cake and when it’s cut into, the color inside the cake, pink or blue, reveals the sex of your upcoming baby. Of course, the people throwing the party already know the sex when they order the cake. The cake isn’t psychic. 

Now, these gender reveal parties have become dangerous, and not because they “upend gender norms” which uber liberals are afraid of. No, they’ve become dangerous because people have started adding explosives to the mix and they’re responsible for a wildfire that’s raged across over 7,000 acres. And, it’s not even the biggest one these parties have started.

By the way, there are currently over 80 wildfires burning in the western United States.

In 2017, one of these parties created a wildfire that destroyed over 47,000 acres in Arizona. How? The party goers shot at targets with “boy” and “girl” written on them. I don’t get it either. Maybe you have to have a gun fetish to understand that one. 

The Arizona party had a target packed with explosives. When hit, it was supposed to emit a cloud of blue smoke (in case you’re a Republican, blue is for boy). Instead, it started a raging wildfire and the party throwers had to pay $8 million in restitution. Have fun explaining to Junior why he doesn’t have a college fund.

But it gets even worse. 

A party in Florida (of course it was in Florida) involved guns and explosives and a ten-acre wildfire. Another party took down an airplane in Texas which proceeded to crash into a pro-Trump boat parade (OK. I made up the boat parade, but I would have gone to that party).  Another party destroyed a car in Australia. 

But wait. It gets even worse.

A party in Iowa last October killed a grandma. Where’s the psychic cake for that one? Also, do you get the irony in a party about creating a life killing somebody? How did this gender reveal party kill a grandma? To reveal the gender, the party goers created a pipe bomb which is how you would expect al Qaida would throw a gender reveal party, or a Trump supporter, not Iowans. Wait. Iowa went for Trump in 2016. It does make sense.

These parties have gotten so bad, the creator of them has said, “Stop having these stupid parties. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid’s penis. No one cares but you.” Which is true. For most of your life no one will care about your penis except you.

Jenna Karvunidis is a blogger who is credited for creating the gender reveal party and she doesn’t care about your penis. And she’s right, not about the penis thing but yeah, probably. B it’s time to do away with parties that create wildfires, destroy the environment, destroys homes, cars, planes, trains, and automobiles and other 1980s John Hughes movies. No more parties that cost us millions of dollars. No shindigs that murder grandmas.

And if you think the focus on gender can mess that kid up for life, wait until he finds out he started a fire from the womb…and killed grandma.

Creative note: This is a rare cartoon from me that’s not about politics. There’s no Trump, Biden, or anything to do with Washington. It’ll be hugely popular with my newspaper editors while getting no traction on social media. I don’t need a psychic cake for that prediction.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.