Author: clayjonz

I draw political cartoons which are published in newspapers across the country. I also play guitar.

Giggity Gaetz


Cjones04042021

Three things I have never liked much are clubs, DJs, and frat boys.

The first thing I did when I was newly single after my marriage was check out clubs with some new single friends. I hated it. Sure, I spent a lot of years single and going out for cocktails with friends. But a lot of that was part of the music scene I was in and in dive bars. Dive bars are different than clubs. Clubs are usually flashier with strobe lights and techno music playing, have a polo-shirt dress code, and a ridiculous cover guys are willing to pay to meet girls who are usually let in for free. Dive bars are usually falling apart, have regulars, a jukebox and TV, you know the bartender and he knows you, there is not a dress code, and NEVER a cover.

Clubs have overpriced drinks with the business strategy that you purchase these oversized drink for women you just met. In clubs, the women tend to run in packs and often if you want to buy one a shot, then you gotta buy all the friends a shot. In dive bars, they have PBR. You can purchase an expensive drink at a dive bar but you normally don’t go there for that.

In clubs, people tend to get dumber. In dive bars, you encounter more sarcasm. In clubs, you find frat boys. In dive bars, frat boys are barely tolerated. In dive bars, you can find ethnic diversity, liberals, rednecks, people who are straight, people who are gay, and drag queens. People go to clubs to pick up other people for sex. Sure, in a dive bar, you can take home some strange, but it’s usually happenstance.

Clubs also have DJs. I hate DJs. I hate going to a place to pay a cover to watch some tasteless asshole spin his record collection. Fuck that guy and fuck that club. A lot of DJs also think they are musicians. They are not. You are not a musician because you are spinning other people’s music…even if you get credit for the song selection. At best, you’re a shitty producer or engineer. DJs have Denning-Kruger syndrome when it comes to taste. They don’t have taste but they think they do.

Then there are frat boys. If you are a member of a fraternity, that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Being a member of a fraternity doesn’t make you a frat boy. The frat boy is the guy who’s a date-raping, entitled trust-fund baby, always hitting on women, disrespecting them as if they’re part of his property, runs in a pack of assholes, showered in Axe body spray that has a scent called “Misty Green Monster Voodoo” or some shit, and while he’ll buy a $12 shot to pick up a hottie, the beer in his keg is Miller High Life because he doesn’t care about the quality when it could land in either his belly or be boofed up his ass. Seriously.

Do you know where to find frat boys (other than frats)? At clubs where DJs are playing.

Every time I see Matt Gaetz, I see an entitled trust-fund baby frat boy. We always knew he was a d-bag, but this investigation into him and sex trafficking is proving he’s a bigger bag-of-dicks than we were aware of. How is that even possible?

The Justice Department is looking into whether Gaetz didn’t just pay for an underage teenage girl to fly across state lines to have sex with him, but if he was paying other women for sex. They’re looking to see if he paid women in cash and drugs. And according to people who work in the U.S. Capitol, Gaetz is really fond of showing nude photos of women he slept with to fellow congressmen on the floor of the House.

Whoever told the press about the nude photos was not a Democrat. One of the people who leaked it is a supposed friend of Gaetz. The first question I had when I heard of Matt Gaetz sharing nude photos was: Has Brett Kavanaugh seen them?

Of course, the Supreme Court Justice doesn’t have anything to do with this case, but when I think of asshole frat boys boofing beer up their assholes, I think of Matt Gaetz and Brett Kavanaugh. While both of these guys are disrespectful to women, the one difference between them is that Gaetz may not last the week, and we’re stuck with Kavanaugh for the next 30 years.

In regards to Gaetz sharing nude photos: It’s very inappropriate. For one thing, he’s doing it on the floor of the House. Now, I know Republicans don’t respect the Capitol as they’re willing to back a white supremacist terrorist attack on it. But how about exhibiting just a little dignity on the floor, hmm? Also, most guys don’t want to see the nude photos on your phone of women you slept with. I don’t even wanna know you have them.

Also, carrying nude photos around on your phone, that’s just creepy. And if you have received nude photos from a woman or she allowed you to take them, that does NOT give you the right to share them with your buddies. I guarantee the photos Gaetz has were given to him with the intention they were for his eyes only. To share them is disrespecting the person who gave them to you and it doesn’t make you look cool.

Also, when a woman gives you photos, they don’t belong to you. If she ever requests that you delete them, you delete them. They’re not your photos. But if you send them to someone like Matt Gaetz, they’ll become everyone’s photo.

There’s an old-antiquated idea that when we vote, we choose from amongst the best of us. Now, it’s like the entire Republican Party is racing to the bottom. It’s like they’re trying to out vile each other. They went from being the party of family values and patriotism to the party of “grab them by the pussy” and pro-Putin. They laugh at children being ripped from their families in order to “own the libs.” Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Matt Gaetz are not the best of us.

Quite frankly, I’d rather vote for Quagmire.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FOUR copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

GaetzGate


Cjones04032021

How did the Republican Party come to this? How did the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Ike, and Reagan become the party that defends terrorists and pedophiles? OK. “Accused” pedophiles.

In 2017, the Republican Party made Roy Moore their nominee for Jeff Session’s vacated Alabama Senate seat after several allegations were made that he was into surfing food courts in malls to pick up teenage girls. Now, the party with a huge faction that believes Hillary Clinton was operating a child-sex trafficking ring in a Washington, D.C. pizza joint has to decide if it wants to defend Congressman Matt Gaetz from accusations of…wait for it…sex trafficking. Funny enough, Gaetz once floated the idea of himself running for that Alabama Senate seat…thinking his district bordering Alabama makes him eligible. To be fair, a lot of people do believe the Florida panhandle to be an extension of Alabama.

So, what exactly is sex trafficking? In this case, it’s when a minor is transported for the purpose of sex. Say you live in Florida, and you pay to fly a minor in from Arizona to shag, that’s sex trafficking. Remember, these are only accusations so far in regard to Matt Gaetz, who has been accused of traveling with a 17-year-old girl across state lines and then having sex with her.

The New York Times broke the news Gaetz has also been accused of being one of the dumbest most do-nothing useless members of Congress in decades. These accusations are accurate. Gaetz has a history of everything coming from his mouth being a shitshow. He’s also been accused of being a ridiculous human being.

Gaetz recently flew to Wyoming (no word on if he took any 17-year-olds on that trip) to campaign against fellow Republican Liz Cheney because she exercised her conscience and independence and voted to impeach Donald Trump. Now maybe Liz Cheney should fly to Gaetz’s district and campaign against him. The only downside to that is that she would have to physically be in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle district. We could call it “Floribama,” or “Alaflora,” or “Aladuh,” or “Floppitbappity.” I’ll work on it.

Last year in the early stages of the coronavirus pandemic, he mocked the seriousness of the health concern by wearing a gas mask on the floor of the House. Later that week, one of the first people to die from the virus in this nation was in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle congressional district. “Flababama!” No?

Gaetz is a Trump sycophant. He supported the pardon of Roger Stone. He claimed Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s act of tearing up Trump’s State of the Union speech in 2020 was illegal. He tried to decertify the election Trump lost, helped Trump claim it was stolen from him, and supported the insurrection. Later, he voted against a measure condemning the coup in Myanmar, probably because he’s a big fan of coups. He’s also a big fan of conspiracy theories and uses the term “deep state” a lot. For example: “The deep state has accused me of rawdogging teenagers!”

A political ally of Gaetz was indicted on charges related to sex trafficking and that’s where this current investigation comes from. Someone may have thrown Gaetz under the bus. And from reading about how much people really dislike Matt Gaetz, that’s probably true. Gaetz claims it’s part of an extortion plot and the entire thing is politically motivated because nobody likes him. That is true. Nobody likes him. Gaetz brags that he doesn’t have a lot of friends in Washington and is proud that most of his true friends are in the Florida panhandle. “Bamafamu?”

This investigation was started last year in the final months of the Trump occupation of our government. William Barr was the Attorney General, who has to approve and be briefed on all investigations on members of Congress. This is not an attack by liberals or Democrats.

Gaetz says he’s being blackmailed by David McGee, a former official of the Justice Department. Gaetz claims McGee is blackmailing his father for $25 million to make sex-trafficking allegations go away. The problem here is, McGee has not been a member of the Justice Department in over two decades AND (this part is important) the inquiry into the sex-trafficking charges was BEFORE there was any so-called extortion attempts. There’s also the problem of: how do you blackmail Matt Gaetz by threatening you’ll make people think worse of him?

Gaetz claims the FBI was so concerned with this extortion attempt, that they had his father wear a wire which is a process that probably doesn’t work when the wire-wearer’s idiot son goes to the media and says his father’s wearing a wire.

While Gaetz is defending himself from these charges of sex with a minor, keep in mind he’s been living with an un-adopted male immigrant named Nestor since Nestor was 12 years old. Gaetz has referred to Nestor as his son, his helper, and a “local student.” Is Florida the only place where an unmarried grown man can live with an un-adopted 12-year-old?

While Gaetz has denied having sex with a 17-year-old, at least not since he was 17 (he said this), he openly brags about dating younger women and freely admits he’s paid for their flights and hotels to be with him.

According to The Daily Beast, Republicans don’t like him and there’s an informal rule not to appear on TV with him at any time for any reason. Why is this? Because Republicans who know Gaetz expect an incoming scandal with the dude at any time.

Again, according to the Beast, more than a half-dozen lawmakers have spoken to reporters about “his love of alcohol and illegal drugs, as well as his proclivity for younger women.” The article states, “It’s well-known among Republican lawmakers that Gaetz was dating a college student—one over the age of consent—in 2018. She came to Washington as an intern.”

A GOP staffer from Capitol Hill said, “I don’t think you’ll find a lot of people who are desperate to keep him involved in Republican politics.” One of those Republicans sent The Daily Beast a photo of a trash bin outside Gaetz’s office as lawmakers cleared out their offices at the end of a recent session. At the top of the heap was an empty “Costco-size” box of “Bareskin” Trojan condoms, extra small. Whoever gets that office after Gaetz may want to decontaminate it with a flamethrower. As Star-Lord in “Guardians of the Galaxy” would say, “If I had a black light, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.”

In fact, only two Republican members of the House have publicly defended Gaetz so far. They are Jim Jordan, who’s another Trump sycophant and has been accused of being aware of sexual abuse among coaches and wrestlers when he was a coach at Ohio State University, and Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Qanon fucknut who is currently barred from any committee assignments. That’s not good company. Gaetz, like Jordan, Greene, and Lauren Boebert, don’t do any actual work as United States Representatives and only use their offices for higher profiles.

Even Tucker Carlson tried to distance himself from Matt Gaetz after giving him a platform to explain himself.

Matt Gaetz appeared on “Tucker Carlson Tonight” with a hair style that now has yard gnomes searching for a new look. Tucker’s show is one his own lawyers successfully argued in court can’t be believed by anyone “reasonable.” But still, more credible than Newsmax, where it’s been reported Gaetz has a job waiting if he chooses to leave Congress. That would be awesome for all of us because nobody watches Newsmax.

During the interview, Gaetz claimed innocence and said Tucker could appreciate his situation saying he was “not the only person on screen right now who’s been falsely accused of a terrible sex act.” Thanks to Matt Gaetz, Tucker had to go back over two decades to explain something he’s spent two decades trying to make fade away from everyone’s memories. Thanks a lot, buddy. Why didn’t Matt just claim all those extra-small “Bareskin” Trojans belonged to Tucker?

Then, Gaetz attempted to not just rope Tucker into his shit, but to make make him a witness. He said a female friend of his was threatened by the FBI and told “she could face trouble” if she didn’t confess to authorities that Gaetz was involved in a “pay-for-play scheme,” and that Tucker had met her. Gaetz said, “You and I went to dinner about two years ago. Your wife was there, and I brought a friend of mine, you’ll remember her.”

This is why you don’t go to dinner with Matt Gaetz. Or, at least one more reason.

Tucker quickly said that not only does he not remember this woman, but he doesn’t even remember the dinner. Thanks to Matt, Tucker’s next guests may be the FBI with subpoenas. After the interview, Tucker said, “That was one of the weirdest interviews I’ve ever conducted” and that it “didn’t clarify much.” Next time, interview a yard gnome. They don’t implicate you in sex-trafficking scandals.

According to some people at Fox News, Tucker was “pissed.”

Matt Gaetz has not been charged and is innocent until proven guilty. But Gaetz’s allegations of extortion could be true while the accusations of sex trafficking could also be true. One does not cancel out the other. Matt Gaetz, being a Republican and a Trump supporter, is probably not aware of that. This is a guy who believes if he screams “deep state” enough, it’ll make all the accusations disappear.

There are so many questions here. How bad are you when other Republicans don’t want anything to do with you? How horrible are you that even Tucker wants distance? How bad are you if your only true support is Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene? Is he guilty? Was there extortion? What does Nestor think of this? How small were those condoms? Where does one purchase a black light?

Also, in case you’ve never seen one, do NOT Google Jackson Pollock paintings.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trump Toast


Cjones04022021

On a recent night at Mar-a-Lago, the guy who used to occupy the White House raised a glass of champagne and toasted himself.

He praised his policies on China with whom he started an unwinnable trade war. He praised himself on how he dealt with Iran which was to remove the U.S out of a treaty preventing that nation from obtaining a nuclear weapon…thus pushing them closer to having nuclear weapons. He praised himself for how he treated immigrants by ripping families apart, throwing children into jails, and losing track of their parents. He praised himself for winning an election he did not win. At some point, he realized he was at a wedding and he got around to praising the couple.

Trump railed, “Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran – how’re we doing with Iran, how do you like that?”

Donald Trump was in a tuxedo which now has penguins searching for a new look. But he continued ranting. He said, “Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they would have done anything, they would have done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ and Iran replies, ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ Oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us.”

At some point, I think he forgot that he was giving a toast at a wedding or even speaking in front of other people as it seemed he was talking to himself. But he continued.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right?”

Quick. Someone get the cake. Distract him with cake. What? He’s not done? Oh, god.

“You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim – he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me.” Was there even a Jim at the wedding or did he just glue little googly eyes on his hand again and pretend it’s talking to him?

Finally…he got around to mentioning the bride and….NOPE. “What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shots, and they call ’em shots, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster.”

Mr. President (sic), would you like to say a few words? No, I’d like to say a lot of words.

He continued. “It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

It continued. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?'” No. We don’t miss you and we’re not going to. But then again, we did say the same thing about George W. Bush and…no, nope, no no no…we’re never going to miss your stupid rancid Cheeto-covered ass, you orange shitgibbon from Oompa-Loopma Land.

After warming up, he got started and went into the election he lost and said, “We did get 75 million votes. Nobody’s ever gotten that,” Trump said. “They said, ‘Get 66m votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said … but you know, you saw what happened, 10.30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?'”

Next time someone pushes the Russian talking points and claims President Joe Biden has dementia (Ted Rall), force them to watch the Trump toast.

Finally…he was done and wrapped it up with a nod to himself and the happy couple, whatever their names are. “Now, a lot of things happening right now. I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple … have fun.”

Throughout all this, the band was waiting for him to wrap it up so they can play that song from Dirty Dancing. If you’ve had the time of your life with Donald Trump, then you might be a racist.

So, he’s asked to give a toast, he spends the entirety of it on himself in what would seem like a drunken rant if he drank, and at the end, he can’t even mention the couple’s names. Was his daughter Tiffany the bride?

Donald Trump shouldn’t be enjoying freedom and giving wedding toasts. This man attempted to steal an election. He told officials in Georgia to “find votes” so they could overturn the presidential election in that state. There is no telling what he said to other state officials who visited the White House or where phone calls weren’t recorded. After committing election fraud, he sent terrorists to the United States Capitol to overturn the election in a violent coup attempt. He sent MAGA goons and other assorted white supremacists to stop Congress from doing its Constitutional duty. He succeeded for a few hours.

The only place Donald Trump should be toasting weddings is in prison. He shouldn’t be toasting and giving rants at Mar-a-Lago. He shouldn’t be calling in to Fox News to continue spreading debunked conspiracy theories. He shouldn’t be free to enable more white nationalist terrorists. He shouldn’t be at some gold-plated desk working on his bullshit memoirs. He shouldn’t be working on deals to create a new social media network for Nazis. He shouldn’t be on the golf course continuing to bilk taxpayers for Secret Service protection. He should be in prison.

Georgia is investigating Donald Trump’s election interference. The District of Columbia may start an investigation into his rallying terrorists to attack the United States government. The Justice Department should be opening a LOT of investigations into Donald Trump’s illegal activity throughout his time occupying the White House.

And maybe afterward, Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz can share a toilet of wine together. Donald Trump shouldn’t be giving a toast. He should be toast.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trained To Do


Cjones04012021

For nearly a year, conservatives have been telling us what a thug and horrible person George Floyd was. They’ve been working hard to paint him as a dangerous element to society in order not just to defend the cop who killed him, but also the culture that killed him. Racist conservatives have been telling us George Floyd deserved to die.

Conservatives forget that the charge was for trying to buy cigarettes with a counterfeit bill. They ignore whether or not he resisted. For conservatives, the charge is that George Floyd was black. For conservatives, that’s a crime deserving of a death sentence without a trial.

Minneapolis Police Officer Derek Chauvin pushed his knee into George Floyd’s neck. The only things on both sides of his neck for over nine minutes was a cop’s knee and the concrete of a Minneapolis street. Why was there so much police brutality in this case? Because a black man supposedly tried to use a counterfeit $20 bill. I say “supposedly” because George Floyd has never been found guilty. George Floyd didn’t live to have a trial. Despite efforts by Republicans and assorted racists, George Floyd is NOT on trial here.

It doesn’t matter if George Floyd tried to cash a fake twenty. It doesn’t matter if he tried to cash a boatload of fake twenties. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was a $50 or a $100. It doesn’t matter what Floyd did in the past or whether he was a bad guy or an angel. None of these is a factor in the trial of white cop Derek Chauvin. Was Floyd a threat to the police or anyone else? No. Was he subdued? Yes. So, why is he dead?

Chauvin’s defense attorney, Eric Nelson, told the jury yesterday to ignore the video of Chauvin’s knee on Floyd’s neck. He’s telling them to ignore a nine-minute-plus video. He’s telling them to ignore what they’re seeing. He’s arguing that George Floyd died from drugs in his system and it’s just a coincidence he died while a white cop’s knee was on his neck for over nine minutes. That’s about as believable it’s a coincidence a Capitol Police officer died shortly after being sprayed in the face with bear spray by MAGA terrorists.

An autopsy found traces of fentanyl and methamphetamine in George Floyd’s system, but that he died from asphyxia…while saying “I can’t breathe” and crying out for his mother while a cop’s knee was on his neck for nine minutes and 29 seconds. What’s one way to die from asphyxia? Having a cop’s knee on a neck for over nine minutes.

Nelson also said the crowd was partly to blame because they distracted Officer Chauvin’s attention away from his knee that was on George Floyd’s neck for over nine minutes. Perhaps day two of the trial will reveal there was a squirrel.

The most damning defense strategy from Nelson was when he said, “Derek Chauvin did exactly what he had been trained to do over the course of his 19-year career.” That is not a defense.

Cops are not supposed to murder, even if they’re trained to do so. Cops are supposed to protect and serve and do it equally. There should be one justice system in this country, not two. This reveals it’s not just Chauvin on trial…it’s all of police culture. If we’re training cops to murder then the entire system that treats Americans unequally needs to be on trial. That entire system needs to be prosecuted and sent away.

Chauvin is charged with second-degree murder, third-degree murder, and second-degree manslaughter. His lawyer is arguing he was trained to murder. He’s arguing all cops are trained to murder.

We don’t need to just remove “bad apples” like Derek Chauvin from our nation’s police forces. We need to remove the system that trained Chauvin and other cops to murder. Because as Chauvin’s attorney argued, killing unarmed black people is exactly what police are trained to do.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

No Reasonable Voting Laws


CNN03282021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Racism is never reasonable.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trumpity Diggity


Cjones03312021

I have excellent timing. Minutes after finishing up this cartoon and while creating different file types of it for my clients, The New York Times sent me a notification that the ship blocking the Suez Canal for the past five days has finally been freed (I made that sound like I’m really important because the NYT sent me a notification, but it’s an app on my phone).

In case you’re a Republican, the Suez Canal is in Egypt. It’s a vital artery for the world’s shipping and economy. Think of it like a short cut between the Atlantic Ocean, after going through the Mediterranean Sea, to the Indian Ocean. It beats having to go around Africa. In case you’re a Republican, Africa is a continent, not a country.

While salvage crews were digging and tug boats were tugging, it was the moon that came through with the final push. The tides from the full moon are what finally got the ship free. In case you’re a Republican, the moon is that big white thing you see in the sky at night that is NOT made from cheese. And yes, we did actually land on it from where we could see the Earth is NOT flat. We’re learning so much today.

Also, the ship was freed Monday afternoon Egypt time even though it’s still morning in the United States. In case you’re a Republican, the sun doesn’t rise at the same time everywhere on the planet. It rises in Egypt several hours before it rises on the east coast of the U.S. That’s why there are different time zones.

Somehow, the crews and the moon were able to dislodge the ship without any advice from Donald Trump. Surely, if the guy still had his Twitter account, he would have been a big help.

One of the worst things about Donald Trump as president (sic) is now one of the best things about him. He’s a buffoon. As a private citizen, we can chuckle, laugh, maybe throw peanuts at him, and just have a good time creating Facebook memes. As president (sic), his buffoonery was horrifying. Have you tried nuking a hurricane?

Of course, Donald Trump knew more about everything than anyone. He was great at understanding the coronavirus because his uncle went to MIT, which Trump thinks is “MIT University.”

Donald Trump has a big brain for understanding stuff and he displayed it when he repeated “Person, woman, man, camera, TV” multiple times in a row with only a little difficulty, and told us the people who gave him the test said, “Rarely has someone ever done what you just did.” And he used that big brain to help the world, which probably makes him a superhero of some sort.

When Notre Dame (not the university in Indiana) was on fire in Paris, he suggested using water to put the fire out. More specifically, he advised using water tanks to water bomb the cathedral from airplanes. In case you’re a Republican, water is heavy. Try lifting an aquarium. Water bombing the cathedral would have made the entire thing collapse and the Fighting Irish would never be able to win another football national championship.

After two Boeing jets crashed, Trump advised they conduct a rebranding campaign. Boeing: Did we mention our seats are also flotation devices?

Donald Trump said the best way to get rid of wildfires was to rake the forests. Seriously. He said there are too many leaves. He also said science doesn’t know anything about climate change, but he does.

He had a lot of great advice about the coronavirus. He told us not to live in fear of the virus killing people. He advised we use unproven malaria drugs that doctors advised against. He pondered publicly if people should drink bleach and shine flashlights up their bum holes.

It was too bad he didn’t have his twitter account to advise how to unclog the Suez. He could have told us he knows more about boats than anyone because he’s been on a boat. In fact, he’s owned a boat. He would have told us he’s qualified to tell us about boats because one of his German ancestors arrived to this country on a boat. He would have said, “People are always asking me, ‘How do you understand so much about boats?'”. He could have tweeted, “Have you tried pushing the boat?” Or, “Maybe you could move the boat by drawing on it with a Sharpie.” Or, “Have you tried bombing the boat from invisible airplanes?” He knows about airplanes too. He owns a couple with his largest, the one he’s so proud of, currently rusting on a New York tarmac.

I wonder how Trump is doing without his Twitter. I imagine it’s like an addict without crack. Fortunately, he still has Fox News and weddings to air his thoughts from.

He went on Fox News last week and said there was no threat from the white supremacist terrorists who attacked the Capitol while trying to overturn an election. He said the terrorists were “hugging and kissing” the Capitol Police officers. I’m not sure if biting someone’s fingers off can be classified as a “kiss,” or if crushing cops against doors can be considered “hugging.” What the hell does he consider using bear spray to kill a cop? Oh, hey. Have they tried using bear spray to get the ship out?

Then Trump went to a wedding at his golf resort, where he’s been hiding himself since President Joe Biden defeated him in the election. I’m sure the happy couple were excited Trump came to their wedding and made a toast. After all, they did book it at a Trump resort which would be the equivalent of being married at Chucky Cheese if the giant rat was a lying racist.

Trump took the mic and toasted the happy couple…after ranting about President Joe Biden, the border crisis, Iran, China, and the election that was “stolen from him.” It was kinda like that scene in the Wedding Singer where drunk Steve Buscemi gives a toast. ““I’ve always been the screwed-up one, right, dad? ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother? Harold would never beat up his landlord!” Or even worse, a toast by your cousin from Boston who says the bride is a total smoke show. Both would still be better than Trump. The giant rat would have been better than Trump.

Now, the economy should improve because the ship has been unclogged from the canal. Also, the economy will improve now that our nation has unclogged itself from Donald Trump. Donald Trump is like a huge bowel movement. But don’t ask me.

Ask Donald Trump, who I’m sure knows more about bowel movements than anybody. He’s had bowel movements on boats, planes, skyscrapers, golf resorts, the White House, and has even pooped in Singapore where they said, “Rarely has anyone done what you just did.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Theater Ted


Cjones03302021

When Raphael Edward “Ted” Cruz ran from his state like a coward when it was hit by a freeze, the most astonishing thing about his actions was that he did it. OK, that would have been astonishing if he was actually a warm-blooded human being and not some defrosted creepy reptilian thing that some mad scientist forgot to put back inside his walk-in freezer.

This is a guy who has fear-mongered and scapegoated immigrants coming from our southern border so you would think he’d pick a location to run to that wasn’t below our southern border. Why go to Mexico when you spend 90% of your time bitching about Mexicans?

On top of abdicating his duties and responsibilities of a United States Senator and even pretending to care about his constituents, Ted blamed the entire ordeal on his daughters. He told us they really wanted to go to Cancun because that’s where all little girls want to go. He said it was a class field trip…without any class. If you don’t take your underage daughters to Cancun when they ask, someone might call Child Protective Services on you. Or maybe that’s only in Texas.

Later, a neighbor revealed that after the freeze hit Texas, Ted and his wife, who Donald Trump claimed is ugly, were calling neighbors to see if they wanted to get in on the Cancun action at the Ritz Carlton, which was offering amazing rates. What was not astonishing about all of this is that Ted Cruz has a neighbor who doesn’t like him. Ted’s lucky his neighbors only expose his lies by sending Heidi’s tweets to The New York Times. Rand Paul’s neighbors physically assault him.

Then, Ted goes running back to Texas the day after he left Texas. Why? Because he got caught. While leaving the state, he was wearing a generic face mask without any logo on it. On his return, his face mask was emblazoned with the state flag of Texas. He really wanted us to know how much he loves Texas…from where he ran away from in a crisis. Later, he made sure there were photos and videos of him handing out water to his constituents…which would be illegal if they were black voters in Georgia.

Ted Cruz lacks self awareness. If he had any, he’d still be in a hole somewhere out of embarrassment and knowing nobody will buy his bullshit. But we’re talking about Ted Cruz. This is the same guy who asks how to stop insurrections after helping to lead an insurrection. It’s like shit Ted did in the past never happened.

Ted Cruz went to the border and made a mini-documentary while wearing a Fidel Castro costume he probably found at a military surplus store. He took a video team with him and tweeted live videos from our southern border with Mexico. What did he see on the other side of the Rio Grande River in Mexico? Mexicans. Ted tweeted that there are Mexicans in Mexico. Shit. He could have told us that while he was in Cancun.

Ted said, “On the other side of the river we have been listening to and seeing cartel members – human traffickers – right on the other side of the river waving flashlights, yelling and taunting Americans, taunting the Border Patrol.” He also claimed he saw a dead body floating in the river, but he didn’t show a video of that. Odd.

First, how does Ted know they were cartel members and human traffickers? Do human traffickers wear T-Shirts saying, “Human Traffickers?” Sure, those people are out there but that doesn’t mean Ted saw any. And they were on the other side of the river in Mexico, “waving flashlights, yelling, and taunting Americans and Border Patrol?” Shocking. What are we going to do about Mexicans in Mexico taunting us? For all we know, the Mexicans on the other side of the border was Mexico’s Border Patrol trying to keep Ted Cruz from returning.

Beto O’Rourke, who didn’t flee Texas when it was under a freeze, tweeted, “You’re in a border patrol boat armed with machine guns. The only threat you face is unarmed children and families who are seeking asylum (as well as the occasional heckler).”

Novelist Paul Rudnick tweeted, “Ted Cruz and Susan Collins claim they were ‘heckled’ by drug cartels at the Mexican border. Both agreed it brought back painful memories of their proms.”

Wait? Susan Collins went on the Cruz Cruise? You would think a Republican Senator would avoid any photo-ops with Cancun Cruz. Republicans should treat Ted Cruz like the coronavirus and stay at least six feet…or six states away from him. At least it was just one Republican Senator, Susan Collins, lacking any self-awareness and not 17 on this field trip for morons….and what? There were 17 Republican Senators on this trip with Cruz? Lindsey Graham was there. So was Texas’ other idiot Senator, John Cornyn. Louisiana’s John Kennedy went too.

Last week, after Democrats talked about gun legislation, Cruz accused them of engaging in “theater.”

And then, he performs a theatrical act on the border. The guy literally took a camera team with him. This may be Ted’s biggest theatrical performance since his return from Cancun…or that time he went after Donald Trump for calling his wife ugly and said, “Donald, leave Heidi the hell alone,” and called him a “sniveling coward.” You know that was a theatrical performance because soon after, he bailed on his morals faster than he ran away from Texas in a winter freeze and became a Trump surrogate.

There was a huge increase in border crossings in 2019. During the Trump administration, children were ripped away from their parents and then lost in the system. Ted Cruz never took a camera crew to the detainment centers or the border during that time. The only fact-finding mission Ted conducted during that period was to find out how deep he could burrow up Donald Trump’s ass.

Republicans project. When Cancun Cruz called Trump a “sniveling coward,” he was redirecting what he saw in the mirror. He accuses others of “theater” then runs to the border with a camera crew in a Fidel costume. There probably isn’t another soul on this planet more disingenuous than Ted Cruz, and there’s no one with less self-awareness.

When Raphael Edward ran to Mexico while his state froze, with millions losing power and dozens dying, he became “Cancun Cruz.” But, Theater Ted has always been “Pendejo Ted.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Knocking While Black


Cjones03292021

Republicans suck at optics.

While Georgia governor Brian Kemp was signing a bill into law making it harder for voters to vote (including a provision that criminalizes giving water to voters in line), surrounded by a bunch of white men underneath a painting of a plantation, a black women was outside the door being arrested for knocking on it.

Representative Park Cannon was knocking on the door when Georgia State Troopers arrested and frog marched her from the building. Cannon is a Democrat who represents a district in east Atlanta, and she was protesting with several other Democrats. She was told to move away from the door she had knocked on several times. After being told to move away, she knocked on it again.

What the State Troopers did was ridiculous and racist. Park Cannon did what the late Georgia congressman and civil rights icon John Lewis would describe as “good trouble.” Fortunately for her, the cops didn’t crack her head open like they did to Lewis.

Cannon asked while being grabbed by the cops, “Why am I under arrest? There is no reason for me to be arrested. I am a legislator!” The cops did not answer her, probably because they hadn’t decided what to charge her with yet. That’s a southern police tradition. Arrest black people and decide the charges later.

They finally came up with obstruction of law enforcement and disrupting a session of the Georgia General Assembly, which amounts to two felonies. Plus, those two charges sound a lot better than “knocking while black,” which was she was actually arrested for.

The entire incident was caught on video and show Representative Cannon wasn’t threatening anyone and wasn’t much of a disruption either. I get phone calls about my car’s warranty that are more disruptive than what Cannon did. I wish someone would frog march those fuckers.

Senator Raphael Warnock visited Cannon in jail, which makes me want to know how long they kept her in jail. Warnock compared it to the Trump terrorists who invaded another capitol building, the U.S. Capitol, that wounded at least 140 cops and left one dead. He said, “I want to know what makes her actions so dangerous, and the actions of those who were trying to undermine an actual election so benign in the minds of some politicians.”

If you ever defended those terrorists, I want to hear you defend Cannon. C’mon, you racist fucks. Do it (I say “fuck” a lot when I get angry. I also say “fuck” a lot when I’m not angry).

Racist Republicans in Georgia and across the nation know they’re losing the ability to win elections. That’s probably because they’re racist. Instead of washing away their racism and promoting policies that are at least not harkening back to the Jim Crow era, they’re doubling down.

Racist Republicans are doing everything they can to make voting while black illegal. And if you’re black and you have something to say about it, they’ll make that illegal too. If you don’t believe me, ask Representative Cannon, who was literally arrested for knocking while black.

In 1955, Emmett Till was murdered in the deep south for supposedly whistling at a white woman. Since Cannon was only arrested, congrats to Georgia whites for all the progress they’ve made.

Creative note: Yes, I use quotes from Blazing Saddles all the time, especially this one. Also, geeky techy note: I forgot to add a layer before coloring this cartoon but that worked out. In my art program, water color, which I used, doesn’t smear the ink. Others like acrylic do. And in case you don’t already know, all my cartoons are created entirely on a digital platform. There is no actual ink or paper.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Hosed In Georgia


Cjones03282021

Georgia went blue in the 2020 elections. The traditionally red state in the deep south gave its 16 electoral votes to Joe Biden and both its Senate seats to Democrats, one Jewish and one black. The changing demographics in Georgia have swung the state, at the very least, purple.

Georgia Republicans responded logically to this shift and decided to pay attention to the changing demographics of their state. They realized they need to appeal to a wider base and expand their platform. The Georgia Republican Party would stop being dictated to by the gun lobby, cease listening only to billionaires, and finally return to being the party of fiscal and moral conservatism instead of a cult in service to an orange racist reality TV host in the church of narcissism. Nah, I’m just kidding.

Instead, Georgia Republicans, seeing that more people in their state don’t want to vote for them, decided to make it harder for the “wrong” people to vote. You know, black people. Republicans don’t want voters to select their leaders. They want Republican leaders to select their voters.

Republicans scream about election integrity but what they really mean is getting rid of all integrity at the polls. Integrity would be counting every vote and encouraging as many eligible people to vote as possible. Integrity would be having faith in democracy. Integrity would be having faith that your message will appeal to a majority of voters.

Georgia Republicans know they can only appeal to white voters. Republicans in every state know this which is why there are currently efforts to restrict voting in 43 states. And yes, all these efforts are designed to restrict and make it harder for some people to vote. Again, the “wrong” people. Every single one of these efforts is racist and a return to Jim Crow.

Trump attorney and ridiculous human being Sidney Powell’s defense for being sued for defamation is that no “reasonable” person could have believed her voter and election fraud bullshit. Yet, Republicans in 43 states are using exactly that to justify making voting harder.

There was no widespread fraud in the 2020 election. There were no hidden boxes of ballots. Voting machines did not switch votes from Trump to Biden. There was no illegal ballot harvesting. Donald Trump did NOT win the election only to have it stolen from him. The election was NOT stolen from Trump by “globalists,” George Soros, President Obama, The Clinton Foundation, Hugo Chavez, China, the “deep state,” or the Smurfs. President Joe Biden won the election because quite simply, more people voted for him than for Donald Trump.

Republicans, without any proof, claimed there was massive fraud and of course, all of it came from black voting districts and precincts. The fact of the matter is, the last time there was enough voter fraud to redo an election, it was because of Republican voter fraud in 2018 for a North Carolina congressional seat. Republicans are basing all these moves to restrict voting on the premise that when more black people vote, there’s less trust in the system.

The new law in Georgia will decrease the number of ballot drop boxes. It will make requirements for voter ID ever more strict for absentee balloting. And (you’re gonna love this) make it illegal to hand out water and snacks to people waiting in line to vote. Shockingly, I’m surprised they didn’t enact a dress code that requires polo shirts, Dockers, and wingtip shoes for voting lines. Aw, shit. Did I just give them an idea?

The new law also expands the Legislature’s power over elections, which has raised worries it could interfere with the vote in predominantly Democratic, heavily Black counties like Fulton and Gwinnett. If the Republican-led legislature doesn’t like the way one district voted, are they going to delete their votes?

Republicans scream everyone needs an identification to vote…and then they make it harder to get an identification. In Alabama, they shut down offices in rural counties for the Department of Motor Vehicles, forcing some citizens to travel long distances to acquire an ID. You know who we’re talking about. Again, black people.

But why make it illegal to hand a bottle of water to someone who’s in line for hours waiting to exercise his or her constitutional right to vote? Do you know where those long lines typically occur? In large cities. We’re not talking about tiny Americus, Georgia. We’re talking about Atlanta. Republicans aren’t just trying to make it more difficult for voters to get into the lines…they’re also discouraging getting into those lines…and staying in them until it’s their turn to vote.

If they were really smart, they’d require giving water, lots of it, to black people in long lines…especially to the people with very weak bladders. Shit. Did I give them another idea?

It’s getting to where Republicans can’t win without suppressing votes. Lying, fear-mongering, and gerrymandering just aren’t enough anymore.

Stacey Abrams might have won the governorship if the Secretary of State at that time, who was also her gubernatorial opponent, hadn’t removed thousands of black voters from the voting rolls. In order to win the governorship, that fucker just deleted all the people who wouldn’t vote for him. Abrams is credited for getting out the black vote for President Joe Biden and her state’s two new Democratic senators, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock.

Ms. Abrams said, “Rather than grappling with whether their ideology is causing them to fail, they are instead relying on what has worked in the past. Instead of winning new voters, you rig the system against their participation, and you steal the right to vote.”

Let’s call it for what it is. These are Jim Crow laws. They are stealing the right to vote. These people who claim they’re constitutionalists are violating their fellow Americans constitutional rights. This is a new way to force black voters to count how many beans are in a jar before they can vote. These changes do not increase security in elections. They do not make it possible for more people to vote. They restrict voting. For the love of God, Georgia has made it illegal to hand out water to voters.

Yesterday, Governor Brian Kemp was signing the law in a room full of smiling old white men, when Representative Park Cannon, who is a black woman, was arrested for knocking on the door. What were the charges?

The charges for arresting Representative Cannon are “obstructing law enforcement officers by use of threats or violence,” which is bizarre because it was caught on camera and there doesn’t appear to be any threats or violence. It’s not like she had a can of bear spray. She faces a second charge of “disrupting general assembly sessions or other meetings of members.” Uh, she is a member of the general assembly. What did she do to disrupt it? Enact a filibuster?

If Georgia is arresting a black woman for knocking on a door over voting rights, what are they going to do to ordinary black citizens?

Congress needs to vote for the Voting Rights Act and stop all these racist laws of voter suppression. In the Senate, Republicans and Democrats both have 50 members, yet Democrats represent 41 million more Americans than Republicans. It’s ridiculous Republicans have so much power. Republicans actually demand that they have more representation than other Americans.

If these laws are not blocked, Republicans will once again win control of the Senate, the House, and put judges on courts (who will block challenges to these racist laws) while representing fewer Americans than Democrats. The Republican Party is NOT the party for the majority of Americans. Creating racist laws to prevent fellow Americans from voting shows the kind of shit they’ll do when they do regain control. Worst yet, these new laws restricting votes may allow them to simply hand Donald Trump the White House in 2024.

These laws are racist. Anyone voting and supporting them is a racist. President Joe Biden and the Democrats in Congress have to make it stop.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Unreasonable, Deranged Lunatic


Cjones03272021

Quickly after the election, which Donald Trump LOST, attorney Sidney Powell joined Donald Trump’s legal team that was trying to steal the election away from Joe Biden. Sidney came with the impeccable credentials of being Michael Flynn’s lawyer where part of her legal defense was that he was framed by a “deep state plot.” She sent a letter to then-Attorney General William Barr asking him to investigate the investigation, and he did. Then the Justice Department attempted to drop the prosecution. Eventually, Trump pardoned Flynn…before he LOST the election to President Joe Biden.

This brilliant legal strategy of Qanon conspiracy theories landed her a position on Trump’s legal team where she argued Trump actually won the election he LOST and it was stolen in a plot conducted by communists, globalists, George Soros, The Clintons, the deceased Hugo Chavez, the CIA, hundreds of Democrats and even Republicans like Georgia governor Brian Kemp. Somehow, the Mickey Mouse Club escaped an accusation.

Sidney Powell conducted press conference after press conference, including the infamous one next to a porn shop with Rudy Giuliani when his head started dripping axle grease or some shit. Sidney also lost lawsuits in multiple states. Her conspiracy theories got so crazy, the Trump legal team officially dropped her and said she was acting “independently,” yet she continued to file lawsuits. While she wasn’t officially on the legal team anymore, she was still meeting with Donald Trump in the Oval Office where she suggested such brilliant tactics as declaring martial law to overturn the election he LOST .

Sidney promised she would reveal a “Kraken” of a plot to steal the election from Donald Trump which she called, “The greatest crime of the century if not the life of the world.” According to Sidney Powell, stealing the election from Donald Trump was worst than the Holocaust, the Black Plaque, the Inquisition, the coronavirus pandemic, Japanese internment, 9/11, New Coke, the Guns and Roses album “Chinese Democracy,” the CATS! movie, the Crocs fad, the KFC Double-Down chicken sandwich, and Ted Cruz’s face.

Twitter banned Powell for pushing Qanon conspiracy theories. Michigan and the city of Detroit (in case you’re a Republican, is a city in Michigan) filed separate motions in federal court to sanction Powell for attempting to overturn the election Donald Trump LOST .

During Sidney’s charade of a stolen election that Donald Trump actually LOST, she slandered Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic. Both companies demanded she retract her statements. Fox News and Newsmax, two networks that had promoted the bullshit campaign, started walking back the conspiracy theories.

Dominion and Smartmatic are now both suing Sidney Powell for defamation. Dominion is seeking $1.3 billion. Smartmatic is suing Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Fox News, Newsmax, and several idiot hosts from Fox for $2.7 billion. The companies may not get as much as they’re seeking, but they’ll probably win their lawsuits and in the process, Sidney Powell is likely to lose her license to practice law. I think she found her Kraken.

Think of it. If she’s too deranged to be on Twitter, then what the hell is she doing practicing law?

Now, Sidney’s lawyers, who I hope are better than she is, are arguing in court that no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s bullshit.

They filed a motion arguing, “No reasonable person would conclude that the statements by Powell about the 2020 election were truly statements of fact.” They continued this ridiculous argument with, “It was clear to reasonable persons that Powell’s claims were her opinions and legal theories.”

They’re arguing she should not be responsible for the shit that comes out of her mouth. You’re representing a lawyer, not a three-year-old or a drunk at closing time. Wait. Was she drunk?

Sidney’s lawyers argued Dominion could not prove Powell took action with “actual malice”, because “she believed the allegations then and she believes them now.”

So, no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s claims about the election being stolen by Jews, commies, Clintons, and Chavez were facts, but they were her legal opinions and she truly believed in them. I think her lawyers argued she’s not a reasonable person.

They’re also arguing she based her “legal opinions” on bullshit that no reasonable person could believe. Doesn’t that mean she should not be practicing law? Shouldn’t your legal opinion be something that reasonable people could believe? You didn’t see OJ’s lawyers argue Nicole was murdered by Hugo Chavez.

I agree with her lawyers. No reasonable person could believe anything Powell said about the election being stolen. Only fucking deranged lunatics would ever believe any of the debunked bullshit Sidney said. But, some lunatics did believe her bullshit. In fact, a lot of lunatics bought into her scam.

One of those lunatics was the president (sic) of the United States of America who then directed thousands of other lunatics to storm the Capitol and attempt a bloody coup to overturn an election he LOST. People died because of this lie.

Today, Donald Trump is still pushing this lie Sidney helped spread. More than half of all Republicans still believe this lie. According to Sidney Powell’s legal team, the Republican Party consists of “unreasonable” people. Shit, we already knew that. I don’t think reasonable people could vote for Donald Trump. Fortunately for us, reasonable people outnumbered Republicans because Donald Trump LOST the election.

Donald Trump used Sidney’s lies to destroy our democracy and Constitution. I think Dominion and Smartmatic might have a case. It’s not their fault Donald Trump LOST the election.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.