Voter fraud

Carolina Cheaters


cjones12102018

Republicans love to talk about voter fraud. They can’t shut up about it. Never mind that there were only four documented cases of it in 2016, they can’t stop yapping. They use it as a distraction, a fear tactic, and an excuse for when they lose, but when a case of it is actually discovered, Republicans are silent. Why is that? Because, when it does happen it’s usually committed by…wait for it…REPUBLICANS!!!

A Republican won North Carolina’s Ninth Congressional District, which was not a huge surprise. Thanks to gerrymandering, Republicans won ten of that state’s 13 congressional districts despite Democrats receiving 50% of the vote (are you getting tired of that shit yet?). But, that advantage isn’t good enough for some members of the GOP.

The state has decided to delay certification of the results in that district’s election amid allegations of an effort to fill in or discard the absentee ballots of Democratic voters.

Republican Mark Harris, who beat incumbent Robert Pittenger in the primary, leads Democrat Dan McCready in the race by only 905 votes (out of around two hundred and eighty thousand cast).

The state is investigating allegations that an operative for Harris (the Republican) paid people to go door-to-door and collect absentee ballots. In Bladen and Robeson counties, Harris won an unusually high share of mail-in absentee-ballot votes. Bladen was the only county where the Republican prevailed in the mail-in-absentee vote, winning sixty-one percent of the votes from mail-in ballots, despite registered Republicans accounting for only nineteen percent of the county’s returned absentee ballots. The only way that was possible was for Harris to win not only all of the Republican ballots but almost every single mail-in vote from Independents, plus a significant number of votes from crossover Democrats. If you’re a Republican, there’s nothing fishy to this.

Also, in those two counties, about forty percent and sixty-two percent, respectively, of requested mail-in absentee ballots were never turned in. Not surprising at all, In Robeson County, seventy-five percent of the absentee ballots requested by African-Americans and sixty-nine percent of those requested by Native Americans were never received by the state. People don’t normally request absentee ballots to not turn them in. Did they think it was the form for Columbia House (you millennials won’t get that)?

Harris says the state should go ahead and certify his victory while they’re investigating because there aren’t enough missing ballots to change the outcome of the election. But, about sixteen hundred mail-in absentee ballots were requested in the two counties and not returned, in a race decided by fewer than a thousand votes (In case you’re a Republican, 1,000 is less than 1,600). Harris says it’s a disservice to the state not to go ahead and seat him, ignoring the disservice of stealing the election.

Now, there are also questions about the results of the Republican primary. Harris may have even cheated his fellow Republican.

Republicans cheat. They have a Supreme Court that allows PACS to finance campaigns basically without any limits. They gerrymander districts which let Republicans pick their voters instead of the other way around. They suppress votes of minorities when they’re not busy kicking them off the voter rolls. They get help from Russian hackers. And, when they still lose, they use their lame-duck sessions to strip power from the incoming Democrats. Now, they’re literally taking ballots out of Democratic voters’ hands and throwing them away.

The good news is the House of Representatives, which will be controlled by Democrats in January, can refuse to seat Harris. There are calls for a new election in the Ninth District, and there should be, and maybe even another Republican primary.

Voters should be represented by the people they actually vote for, and Republicans should stop taking that away from them.

This week, you’ve probably heard Republicans talk more about French socialism than North Carolina voter fraud.

Side note: Remember the movie The Lost World? I was always bothered by the Tyrannosaurus eating the dog in San Diego. He also ate the screenwriter outside of a Blockbuster, but that’s OK because that guy probably wrote for the dog to die (I bet he was also responsible for the Japanese tourists running from the T-Rex as if it was Godzilla. Yeah, eat that guy). The poor dog was chained to his dog house…in a fenced yard. People, if you can’t have a dog without chaining him where he can’t escape being eaten by dinosaurs, then you don’t deserve to own a dog.

I liked the way the black-and-white version turned out, so I’m gonna let you see that too.

cjones12102018

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Advertisements

A Cereal Liar


cjones11192018

The damage Donald Trump has inflicted on this nation in just the past few years will last for generations. Forty years from now, a couple of people will be sitting in a cafe in Paris debating if the United States is still dumb enough to elect a lying, racist, sexist, stupid, juvenile, corrupt reality TV show host.

Trump sycophants with daddy issues believe their deity has restored international respect and prestige to the United States. In reality, he’s brought scorn and ridicule. Donald Trump is an international dumbass.

The sycos are mad at CNN’s Jim Acosta and believe Trump was right to pull his White House press credentials. They accuse him of being a prima donna and disrespecting the president. At the press conference where Acosta infuriated Trump, the reporter prefaced a question about the caravan by pointing out that it’s not an “invasion.” Why did Acosta do this? Because he doesn’t work for Fox News.

It’s a reporter’s job to push back when a politician lies, especially such blatant Trump lies. That’s why Trump goes to the Daily Caller, a wing-nut publication that won’t push back.

Yesterday, Trump gave an interview to the Caller where he again lied about voter fraud in Florida. But, he compounded his usual stupid lie with an even amazingly dumber one. He said, “When people get in line that have absolutely no right to vote and they go around in circles. Sometimes they go to their car, put on a different hat, put on a different shirt, come in and vote again. Nobody takes anything. It’s really a disgrace what’s going on.”

It is a disgrace what’s going on. It’s a disgrace that the president of the United States doesn’t just engage in conspiracy theories but also invents them. It’s a disgrace that the reporters he does talk to don’t call him out on it. But, it gets even dumber.

While arguing for voter ID laws, he said, “If you buy a box of cereal — you have a voter ID. They try to shame everybody by calling them racist, or calling them something, anything they can think of, when you say you want voter ID. But voter ID is a very important thing.”

Trump made the claim last August that you need an ID to buy groceries as if going to Kroger is the same as entering The Viper Room. But, needing an ID to buy cereal? Yeah, maybe if you’re a silly rabbit because Trix are for kids.

And changing shirts to vote again? The pollsters would have to be really stupid to be unable to recognize your face because you changed shirts. That’d only work in a Republican primary.

Trump should bounce his lies off a committee, so they can take a vote on whether the lie is too stupid for a president to tell. Of course, any lie Trump tells passes the smell test for his followers, but how about lies for the rest of us? How about something with a little uncertainty, that’d at least make you Google? Some of us aren’t Tomi Lahren.

But, telling us thousands of illegals in an invading caravan full of Middle Easterners desiring to commit cereal fraud isn’t going to swing it. That’s just a Honey Bunches of Bullshit.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Counting Isn’t Cheating


cjones11162018

Donald Trump refused to believe Russia meddled in the 2016 presidential election, often calling it a hoax. He claims the investigation is a “witch hunt.” He trusted Vladimir Putin’s denial over American intelligence, which is part of his government. He claimed millions voted illegally and created a sham commission, now dismantled, to investigate. He campaigned during the midterms on a caravan invasion that the Democrats created to vote in U.S. elections.

Trump called for a new election in the Arizona Senate race, claiming there was corruption. The race has now been called for Democrat Kyrsten Sinema and her Republican opponent, Martha McSally has conceded.

In Georgia, where the race is still too close to call and counting continues, Trump declared Republican Brian Kemp the winner, “the transition should begin”, and “it’s time to move on.”

In the Florida recount, he claims it’s impossible to get an “honest vote count,” and that a “large number of ballots showed up out of nowhere,” and that we “must go with Election Night” numbers.

Donald Trump wants voting to stop. He wants thousands, if not millions of Americans to have their votes disenfranchised, even service members whose votes are still coming in from overseas. He believes counting every vote after he perceives his side has won, amounts to cheating and election fraud.

Donald Trump is the president of the United States of America, and he doesn’t understand how democracy works. We count votes here in the United States. Every vote should be counted. For that matter, other Republicans don’t seem to understand it either.

Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp worked hard to remove African Americans from the voter rolls to prevent them from voting in an election in which he was competing. Florida governor Rick Scott, has also accused the recount of being corrupt, and sent law enforcement to oversee the recount.

Scott’s state government has debunked his and Trump’s accusations of voter fraud and corruption. Sure, Broward County, where they’re still counting, is inept at handling elections, but that doesn’t make them corrupt. Republicans are afraid of voters. They’re afraid of every vote being counted. Voters should be afraid of Republicans. If they can’t win fairly, they’ll cheat. Even when the odds, numbers, and demographics are in their favor, they’ll still cheat. They’re like the New England Patriots, except really racist while cheating.

Donald Trump doesn’t understand how Democracy works. Maybe, in 2020, we can show him.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Fun With Voter Intimidation


Donald Trump has been perpetuating a massive lie since before the election, and it’s that rampant voter fraud is plaguing the nation.

To confront this dilemma that doesn’t exist, Trump has created an “election integrity” commission. If we stay on this path then I expect future commissions on vampires, zombies, and people Trump voters who wake up screaming in the night “my god! What have I done?”.

The reality is, this creation of this commission is to serve two purposes: Soothe Trump’s damaged ego over the fact that fewer people voted for him than Hillary Clinton, and to find out who has been voting for Democrats so the Republican-led federal government can create new ways to prevent them from voting.

This commission has sent letters to every state and the District of Columbia asking for information on every single voter. They want names, birth dates, addresses, voting record, party affiliation, and the last four digits of their social security numbers.

The commission argues that much of this information is public record. Fine then, go find it yourself. The States should not be helping Trump and his goon squad from intimidating voters.

It’s always the conservatives who scream and panic over the federal government infringing into their private lives, especially regarding stuff like guns and religion. They’re perfectly fine with it restricting religions they’re not a part of, restricting marriage rights, or a commission made up entirely of old white guys telling women what they can’t do with their bodies. This voter thing may be going a bit too far, even for the troglodytes.

Several states have said they will provide some information, but not all like social security numbers. I don’t think they should give them anything and a few states, like California, New York, and my home Virginia aren’t going to cooperate.

“This entire commission is based on the specious and false notion that there was widespread voter fraud last November,” Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe (D) said in a statement. “At best this commission was set up as a pretext to validate Donald Trump’s alternative election facts, and at worst is a tool to commit large-scale voter suppression.” McAuliffe is not alone.

Alex Padilla, the California secretary of state, said providing data “would only serve to legitimize the false and already debunked claims of massive voter fraud.”

Even conservative states are balking. Mississippi’s secretary of state said they can go “jump in the Gulf of Mexico, and Mississippi is a great state to do that from.” I can vouch for that. Having lived in Mississippi and jumping into the Gulf of Mexico from that state, it was great.

Not to be out-quipped by Mississippi, Kentucky’s secretary of state, Alison Lundergan Grimes said, “there is not enough bourbon here in Kentucky to make this request seem sensible.”

Mike Pence, a man who can be trusted in regards toward your private life, is leading the commission. The vice-chair is Kris Kobach, Secretary of State for Kansas. Kobach has a sketchy history when it comes to investigating voter fraud.

Kobach has lost in court multiple times for attempting to knock voters off the registration in his state. Now he’s trying to do it nationally by requesting the information of over 200 million voters.

Over 25 states have expressed concern over this request. Each and every single one of them should tell Trump, Pence, and Kobach to jump in the Gulf of Mexico.

How bizarre that the man who received help by the Russians to win the White House is worried about brown and black people voting. It’s very peculiar that the reality of Russian meddling in our election can’t be confronted by this man, but he believes in myths such as voter fraud. How about Trump releasing his taxes and financial documents before you tell him which party you’re registered with, or how often you’ve voted over the past decade?

The only fraud is Donald Trump and his entire administration.

It’s really hard being a one-man syndicate when editors (who receive death threats from Trump supporters) are afraid of cartoons with opinions, while I’m also competing against other syndicates with dozens of cartoonists (who offer lots of right-wing cartoons and the kind without any opinions). So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Girl, You Know It’s True


cjones01262017

Donald Trump is a liar.

You can’t trust or believe anything Trump tells you. That goes for his deceitful minions too.

Despite a long track record of lying years before he started his presidential campaign voters believed Hillary Clinton was less honest than Trump. Twenty years of a smear campaign against her was very effective and took its toll. Even to the point that this nation elected a conman over her. What does that say about the rest of the Republican field of candidates in the primary?

PolitiFact found that 70 percent of Trump’s statements during the presidential campaign were false. For Clinton, they only found 26 percent.

Trump lied for years about Obama not being born in the United States. He promised he had evidence. A few days before the election he finally admitted Obama was born in the United States. Exhibiting further signs of his narcissism, Trump didn’t admit he was wrong. Instead he blamed the Democrats for starting birtherism and gave himself credit for the great service he did for President Obama and the nation by putting the birther thing to rest. He probably used money from his charity to buy himself a trophy for the accomplishment.

He lied about Ted Cruz’s father being involved in the JFK assassination. He lied about seeing thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11. He claimed the Mexican government was intentionally sending criminals into our country (Castro did that though). He said the unemployment rate was 42%. He lied when he said Obama was accepting 200,000 refugees from Syria. Who can forget his lie about being against the Iraq war?

The only time Trump has ever admitted he lied was when he said he never did those things he said he did on that tape about assaulting women. So either he was lying on that taped bus ride, or he was lying about lying. My head is starting to spin.

In the first few days of his presidency he’s lied about the numbers at his inauguration, and in an attempt to prove his legitimacy as president, is now claiming that millions of illegal voters cost him the popular vote. He even has his soulless flying monkeys going out to defend and repeat his lies. Trump spokesman Sean Spicer was actually asked at a briefing if he’ll ever intentionally tell the public falsehoods. He lied when he said no.

Politicians lie. Nixon lied when he said he wasn’t a crook. Reagan lied about Iran/Contra. Bill Clinton lied when he said “I did not have sex with that woman.” Each of those lies were to save their political careers. Trump lies because he’s pathological. Trump himself may not even be able to tell the truth from a lie. He often accuses a fact of being a lie.

What is the purpose of all these “alternative facts” other than protecting Trump’s eggshell fragile ego? It’s a distraction. While we’re asking about the stupidity of crowd sizes, his administration is installing gag orders on federal employees. He’s issuing executive orders like crazy on stuff from Obamacare, the Dakota Access Pipeline, a funding ban to foreign groups that provide abortions, directing funds to his border wall and a crackdown on “sanctuary cities,” to declaring his inauguration day as “a Day of Patriotic Devotion.” That last one will make North Korea jealous they didn’t think of it.

I wonder if Trump put a gag order on everyone who criticized Obama for his executive orders because I haven’t heard a thing from those people this week.

Trump is a liar and the press is doing what they can to hold him accountable, all except Joe Scarborough. The New York Times actually used the word “lie” in a front page headline for a Trump story. Usually the press handles that sort of thing more delicately, but Trump has opened the flood gate for these things. Now that the press is holding him accountable, will you?

Creative note: It’s not everyday I get to use a Milli Vanilli joke in a cartoon. And if you’re too young, or too old, to know who they were then that makes me sad.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Flying With Fanatics


cjones11302016

It’s bad enough having to listen to Trump nuts at family dinners, your local tavern, on the internet, Fox News, etc. Imagine getting stuck next to one on an airplane. One such passenger seated next to a Trump fanatic whipped out her camera and made a video of the guy standing in the aisle shouting at the other passengers. Apparently Delta Airlines offers seats at window, aisle, and lunatic.

The man asked if there were any “Hillary bitches on the plane,” and continued with “Come on, baby!” “Trump! That’s what I’m talking about. Hey, baby! Donald Trump! He’s your president, every god damn one of you. If you don’t like it, too bad.” Well we don’t like it and it is too bad.

There is something about Donald Trump that inspires stupidity to get even louder than usual. The man was allowed to remain on the flight from Atlanta to Allentown, Pennsylvania which is shocking. Allentown has an airport? Delta eventually banned the guy from their airline for life.

If you think that guy’s crazy another Trump crackpot is claiming Donald Trump actually won the popular vote if you discard the millions of illegal voters. Oh wait…that Trump crackpot is Donald Trump.

Trump has no evidence there was mass voter fraud or that he won the popular vote. At this point Hillary Clinton has two million more votes than Trump. It’s pretty bad when the maniacs who love fake news and conspiracy theories include the president-elect. It’s also really weird that the candidate who won is complaining about the results and claiming voter fraud.

The main thing Trump is upset about is the recount effort in a few states he won by very slim margins. I don’t expect the recount to change the results but we need to conduct them to find out the truth. When there’s accusations of a foreign government hacking into our system and the results were so different from the polls, it needs to be looked into it.

I’m sure Trump will continue not being presidential and take the occasional break from using the presidency to enrich his corporation and appointing Nazis to his cabinet to tweet out new conspiracy theories.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Biting Bigly


cjones11022016

Donald Trump isn’t just a hypocrite. He’s an amazing hypocrite. He contradicts himself in basically every sentence that escapes from his face hole.

He’ll call Hillary Clinton a liar while stating he’s leading in a poll in New Mexico. He’ll slam the Clinton Foundation for being corrupt while his Trump Foundation is buying him Tim Tebow’s autographed “I Love Jesus” jock strap. He’ll state how much he respects women then proceed to tell us his latest accuser is too fat for him to sexually assault.

Amazing! Couldn’t Republican primary voters and Vladimir Putin find a better candidate than this?

So while he’s telling his supporters how the election is rigged and massive voter fraud will be taking place, the only way to combat it is if they commit voter fraud. In Colorado he’s encouraging his supporters to do the mail-in ballot thing, and then go to the polls and vote. He claims that’s to double-check to make sure their vote is counted and their first vote will be voided, but Colorado doesn’t work that way. Another way Colorado doesn’t work is that Trump will win the state. He’s got about as much of a chance winning Colorado as he does winning that state with the word “Mexico” in it.

Widespread voter fraud is a myth. But occasionally an individual will try to manipulate the system. It happened in Iowa last week where the state is currently engaged in early voting. A woman went to one polling station and voted and then stopped by a satellite office and voted again. Turns out she’s a Trump supporter.

Maybe Trump is right and we should have poll watchers to make sure his supporters aren’t cheating. They’re deplorable, ya know.

Time for a rant about creating this cartoon:

This cartoon took me five hours to draw. Five hours. Usually they don’t take more than three. Why did this cartoon take five hours? One word answer: Microsoft.

For those not in the know, and not that it’s important to you, but I don’t draw on paper anymore. For the past six months I’ve been creating these things on a Surface Pro. It’s really cool though I’m still getting used to drawing on a smaller scale and on glass. I don’t plan to go back to paper, though I was really missing it this morning.

The pen used to draw on a Surface Pro has to be synced with the system and it takes a battery. An AAAA battery. That’s four A’s, which apparently very few places carry.

I started drawing around midnight and about 1:30 AM the pen decided to stop working. At first I thought the computer had frozen because it’s done that before. I rebooted the computer and the pen still wouldn’t work. Then I realized the computer wasn’t frozen as my finger would work on the touch screen. Well I can’t draw a cartoon with my finger. Seriously, Microsoft. The $60.00 pen has to be synced but it recognizes a finger? I’m gonna give Microsoft a finger.

I went to trouble shoot. I checked the battery life (It lets you do that) and it said it was at 72%. The button on the pen would still work but it wouldn’t draw. I went to Microsoft’s website and it said I needed a new battery. So, I took a ten-minute walk to Sheetz through a neighborhood where people occasionally engage in shootouts with police. Guess which battery Sheetz does not carry? I took another ten-minute walk home, cursing all the way, to see how much more trouble shooting I could do.

I get home and check the battery in the nose-hair trimmer. Dammit as that one is a triple-A battery. I attempt to continue with the trouble shooting and cursing and the Surface doesn’t want to turn on. Then it finally turns on and wants to run updates, which it likes to do every other day apparently, usually in the middle of a project. It runs the update very slowly. It’s at 17%. I go make coffee, use the restroom, throw in a load of laundry, watch half an episode of Family guy, eat some left-over Halloween candy. It’s at 19%. I do a little more cursing. Finally it reboots. Then my art program freezes. I reboot again. It freezes again. I reboot again. I curse some more. Finally, it worked….and so did the pen. I promise you, I have never opened a suspicious file or watched porn on this thing.

It’s a really good thing I was able to save the cartoon when I first experienced problems (I saved it with my finger) or I would have totally forgot what I was doing (I think it had a fish in it?). I finally completed the cartoon around 5:00 AM.

I love my Surface Pro. I love my Surface Pro. I love my Surface Pro. I love my Surface Pro. I love my….Grrrrrr.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!