Christmas Conspiracies


cjones12022020

During the impeachment hearings last year, Corey Lewandowsky whined when a Congressman mentioned that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Corey was indignant because his young children were watching and now…they only had all the bullshit their father spreads to believe in. So, I hope Corey Lewandowsky’s children aren’t reading today’s blog.

If Donald Trump sat on Santa’s lap and asked for a litany of bullshit like proof of voter fraud, witnesses, affidavits, and forensic evidence, Santa wouldn’t be able to give him any of it. Why? Because like Santa Claus, none of those things exist. Santa also wouldn’t be able to give Trump another four years or a pardon. Maybe Donald Trump should go back and sit on Rudy Giuliani’s lap or better yet…be like Melania and say “fuck Christmas.”

It’s been nearly a month since the election and Donald Trump is still spreading lies about it. In the process, he’s undermining democracy. He’s even calling Republicans officials who won’t steal the election for him in their states, “enemy of the people.” As a member of the group he first accused of being the enemy of the people, I say welcome to the club. I’m old school “enemy of the people.” Dictators call people who report facts or won’t help them in their corruption “enemy of the people.” Donald Trump is not a dictator, but he will be if he steals this election.

How old are Corey Lewandowsky’s kids? Are any of them too old to believe in Santa yet? How about believing in Donald Trump?

Most Trump supporters are too old to believe in Santa Claus. But being the Qanon fuckwits that they be, they still believe in bullshit Donald Trump says like there was mass voter fraud in 2016 even though he hasn’t been able to prove it over the past four years. They still believe him when he says there was voter fraud in 2020 despite the lack of evidence and despite the inability of his legal team to present any evidence in the nearly 40 court cases that have been tossed out. They believe Trump when he says votes were moved from Trump to Biden. They believe communists, the Clinton Foundation, George Soros, and the dearly departed Hugo Chavez stole the election for Joe Biden. Seriously, Santa Claus is easier to believe in than all this Trump bullshit.

Trump supporters, you’re too old for this. Just because Donald Trump is a raging idiot who believes in conspiracy theories doesn’t mean you have to be one too. You can do better than Donald Trump. And stop giving him money to steal the election. If he’s as rich as you’ve been bragging about over the past four years, he shouldn’t need it. Let him fund his own election steal.

And if Santa Claus truly did exist, Donald Trump would be on his naughty list for being a liar, racist, sexist, traitor, grifter, and for ripping families apart and throwing babies in jail. I don’t have a naughty list but I do have a worthless lying orange shit-for-brains racist sexist grifter list. Guess whose name is on that.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

6 comments

  1. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Hey supporters … “Just because Donald Trump is a raging idiot who believes in conspiracy theories doesn’t mean you have to be one too. You can do better than Donald Trump. And stop giving him money to steal the election. If he’s as rich as you’ve been bragging about over the past four years, he shouldn’t need it. Let him fund his own election steal.”

    Like

  2. All those things, and a bully besides. And we all know bullies are covering up the cowards they are inside. He does not have an ounce of mettle in him. Take away his white supremacist gun-toting lapdogs, and and he will be mewling and puking in Mélanie’s arms, if even she will still coddle him. I sure as hell would not!

    Like

    1. Sorry, Spelchek corrected Melania’s name. Guess that program was written by a white supremacist. The words it tries to put in my mouth come right out of an Evangelical pulpit. It won’t say fuck or damn or even hell unless I force it to. God, that pisses me off.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s