Political Cartoons

Roughs, Volume 67


I didn’t draw many roughs this past week.

CNNrough983

This is the one chosen for the CNN Opinion newsletter. It was only after I had finished drawing it that I learned Mary Trump actually did have something to say about her “crazy uncle.”

CNNrough982

Yes, Republicans have lost their damn minds.

CNNrough981

I kinda like this one.

See? Only three. That’s it. Thanks for stopping by and don’t be a stranger.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Flock Together


cjones10202020

NBC’s Savannah Guthrie did a commendable job Thursday night pushing back on Donald Trump’s crazy. Most journalists who have come face-to-face with Donald Trump have failed to push back as much as Ms. Guthrie did. But to be fair, Donald Trump is hard to talk over and there’s usually more crazy than any one journalist can cover in one setting.

Let’s go over Donald Trump’s refusal to condemn Qanon, the insane cult that’s made up of racists and potential terrorists.

Qanon is a cult that has sprouted up online. The followers believe in this guy named Q, who goes to their forums and tells them what’s really happening in our federal government. Q is supposed to be a deep state insider with connections. Without any evidence, Qanon followers believe this. And without any evidence, they believe the federal government is run by a cabal of Satanic worshipping cannibalistic pedophile Democrats…and Donald Trump is the savior who’s going to put an end to all of it. As ridiculous as all that sounds, they truly believe it. They go to his rallies with signs saying, “I’m Q.”

Qanon is where Pizzagate came from. Because of these insane conspiracy theories, a fucked up goober went to Washington, DC and shot into a pizza parlor. Why? Because Q said Hillary Clinton and other deep state Democrats were operating a child sex slave ring from within the parlor’s basement. There were no Democrats, no child slaves, no pedophilia, and not even a basement. There was only pizza and ping pongs. Seriously, the place has ping pong tables. It’s cool.

But, the gun fucker still shot into the place. Fortunately, no one was wounded. And to this day, Qanon followers still believe there’s a child sex slave operation going on inside the parlor’s basement run by Hillary Clinton.

And get this: All of this came from one of the emails leaked by Wikileaks to help the 2016 Trump campaign in which one Democrat wrote to another, “hey, let’s get a pizza sometime.”

The FBI believes Qanon poses a terrorism threat when it’s actually led to terrorism. The attack on Comet Ping Pong Pizza was terrorism. The Pittsburgh synagogue shooting that killed 11 people has connections to Qanon. A California bomb maker made references to Qanon, Pizzagate, and the New World Order. Many of the Q fuckers also believe the Deep State is full of lizard people. Seriously.

Kids, here’s a reminder: These people are terrorists, even if they’re white.

So, on Thursday night, when given an opportunity to call them out for their racism, crazy theories, or just that he doesn’t believe in their bullshit, Donald Trump refused. In fact, Donald Trump retweets their crazy shit.

Donald Trump’s most recent retweet of Q is that Navy Seals didn’t kill bin Laden but instead, got his body double. Donald Trump, the president (sic) of the United States retweets this shit despite having access to the best information in the world.

If Osama bin Laden was still alive, we’d all know it because Donald Trump would have set up a summit and a photo-op with him.

Donald Trump told Savannah Guthrie he couldn’t call them out because he wasn’t that familiar with them other than they like him and they don’t like pedophiles (which is living in Oppositeland). Then, he defended their fight against pedophilia.

Kids, spreading crazy conspiracy theories is NOT fighting pedophilia. Can someone name one pedophile stopped by Qanon followers? Instead, they believe champion against pedophilia is Mr. Pussy Grabber who’s been accused of rape and has admitted to barging into teenage beauty contestants’ dressing rooms and says about preteens, “Hey, I’ll be dating her in a few years.” Their savior is the guy who talks about dating his daughter.

Savannah told Trump who Qanon is. She told him about the deep state Democrats and the pedophile beliefs. He still refused to call them out. But in doing so, he also didn’t state that he DOES NOT believe Democrats are a bunch of cannibalistic Satanic pedophiles. Did anyone else besides myself catch that?

He couldn’t even give the fake defense of, “I don’t know if they actually believe that, but I can tell you I don’t.” Nope. He let it linger. And just like he gave the Proud Boys a call out, he gave Qanon one too. He refused to debunk their crazy shit.

While saying he doesn’t know who Qanon is, keep in mind, he’s retweeted them over 200 times. He knows who they are. Trump says it’s “someone’s opinion” and he’s just putting it out there. Kids, retweets are ALWAYS endorsements. He’s not retweeting “Antifa” or Black Lives Matter.

In fact, when asked about Qanon, he said he doesn’t know who they are but he knows all about Antifa and Black Lives Matter and their “burning down Democratic-run cities.” Here’s where Savannah missed one chance to push back and could have asked if he knows about Michigan terrorists who plot to kidnap Democratic governors. Do you know how many people Antifa and Black Lives Matter have killed? Zero. Do you know how many people Donald Trump supporters have killed? Go ask Kyle Rittenhouse.

Donald Trump isn’t just giving credibility to crazy conspiracy theorists and assorted Nazis. In his retweets, shout-outs, and denials, he’s recruiting terrorists.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trumptober Surprise


cjones10192020

Political prognosticators, you know…geeks, are always on the lookout during every presidential election for the October surprise. Basically, the idea is that one campaign has some real juicy dirt they’re holding close to their vest that they’re planning to release in mid to late October very close to the election. And when they release it, they’re all like, “Gotcha, motherfucker!!! Nobody’s gonna vote for you now, you sick bastard!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” And sometimes, it actually works out that way.

Sometimes, the so-called October surprise comes from news outlets, though they rarely hold onto something for timing. Usually, a news outlet releases news when they have it and they feel their reporting is as complete as it’s going to get. In October 2016, The New York Times released a story that Donald Trump hadn’t paid taxes in 18 years. How effective was that story? Well, Trump won. Illegally, but he still won.

October surprises go way back and are often deliberate. In October 1840, President Martin Van Buren had prosecutors, members of his own party, charge Whigs (remember those guys?) for paying Pennsylvanians to travel to New York and fraudulently vote multiple times in the state’s 1838 elections (which is what Trump tells his people to do now). They timed the charges for mid-October and even though the Whigs were guilty, the public felt it was a dirty trick by the Democrats and they ousted Van Buren.

In October 1880, The New York Times published a letter supposedly written by the Republican nominee, James Garfield, where he endorsed Chinese immigration and employers buying their labor. As it turned out, he didn’t write the letter but it nearly cost him the election.

In October 1920 (This one’s good), Democrats released information that Warren Harding had “Negro” blood and Republicans released information that as Assistant Secretary of the Navy, Franklin D. Roosevelt (who was the veep nominee) authorized an investigation into homosexuality in the Navy and in order for investigators to find out if it was true (this is where it gets good), for them to engage in homosexual acts (that probably wasn’t dancing to “In The Navy”). The accusations were that FDR had allowed 83 seamen (get it? Semen? I’m a Beavis) convicted of “unnatural acts” to return to duty. Harding won. Apparently in 1920, homophobia might have been slightly stronger than racism.

In 1964, an FBI agent leaked to the GOP they were investigating an aide to Lyndon Johnson for visiting a Washington YMCA where he was engaging in gay behavior (man, this country has a long history of hating gays). During the investigation, the FBI even set up peepholes which sounds less like investigating and closer to participating. The aide was arrested for doing “gay stuff.” But, there were other October surprises. China tested their first atomic bomb and the Soviets ousted Premier Nikita Khrushchev. With such international concerns, the public decided to stay the course with Johnson as Goldwater was scarier than gay bath houses.

In October 1968, LBJ, trying to help Hubert Humphrey, announced an end to bombings in Vietnam and the start of peace talks. Richard Nixon, who truly was a Tricky Dick, contacted the South Vietnamese through back channels and convinced them not to participate in any peace talks until he was president. Three days before the election, South Vietnam announced they were withdrawing from the peace talks. Nixon won. Another interesting part of this is that LBJ heard of this and had the RBI wiretap the Nixon campaign. Donald Trump claims Obama spied on his campaign, which is bullshit, but LBJ literally spied on the Nixon campaign.

In October 1972, Nixon still hadn’t ended the Vietnam war and there were no peace talks. But, he had Henry Kissinger rush from Paris (where talks were supposed to be held) to Washington where he conducted a huge press conference, days before the election, and announced “peace is at hand” despite there not being any actual peace talks at the time. Peace was nowhere near “at hand” and the war lasted two and a half more years. Tricky Dick won.

In October 1980, Iran announced they were not releasing U.S. hostage until after the election. Jimmy Carter lost after refusing an October surprise of rescuing the hostages after an earlier attempt failed. Iran released the hostages literally while Ronald Reagan was being sworn in. To this day, there are still accusations the Reagan campaign somehow convinced Iran to delay releasing the hostages though no evidence has ever turned up. But still, it’s fishy as hell. Republicans framed it as Iran being so afraid of Reagan, they released the hostages right as he became president. The truth of the matter and what was truly obvious: Iran really just wanted to fuck Jimmy Carter. Afraid of Reagan? My ass! They became illegal arms customers of his.

In October 1992, four days before the election between President George H. W. Bush, Ross Perot, and Bill Clinton, the Independent Prosecutor indicted former Reagan Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger for lying about his involvement in the Iran-Contra scandal. I doubt it had any effect, but Clinton won. The lousy economy and “no new taxes” is probably what killed Bush’s reelection.

In October 2000, Fox News (really?) released information days before the election that George W. Bush had been arrested in Maine for drunk driving way back in 1976. Karl Rove believes it cost Bush five states (it didn’t), the popular vote, and gave us the entire hanging chad Florida scandal which put the election into the hands of the Supreme Court.

In October 2004, Osama bin Laden released a new video telling us how much he hated George W. Bush which truly helped Bush win his reelection against John Kerry. It also helped that he was running against John Kerry. This sort of thing can’t happen for Donald Trump because the truly slimy people of the world are people he hugs.

In October 2008, the stock market’s fall accelerated and unemployment reached a 14-year high. The GOP held the White House and their candidate, John McCain, stumbled by not being able to recall how many houses he owned. Seriously. It also didn’t help John McCain that he was running against Barack Obama.

In 2012, a secretly-recorded tape of GOP nominee Mitt Romney talking to big money fat cats at a private event was released. In it, Romney chastised half of the nation by saying, “There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has responsibility to care for them.” After the election, even Romney admitted it sank any hope he had of winning. He told an interviewer, “There’s no question that hurt and did real damage to my campaign.” It also hurt that he was running against Barack Obama.

Rolling Stone (the magazine, not the band), claims the 2016 election had over two dozen October surprises. There were Trump’s taxes, the revelation he lost $916 million in 1995, New York state shut down his illegal charity, the Hollywood Access tape came out (“grab them by the pussy”), reports that Trump would barge into teenage beauty contestants’ dressing rooms to ogle them while they were naked, more allegations of Trump’s groping, release of a tape of Trump saying about a pre-teen, “I am going to be dating her in 10 years,” another tape of Trump telling a group of 14-year-old girls, “Just think, in a couple of years I’ll be dating you,” revelations of a direct communication link between the Trump campaign and the largest private Russian bank, more allegations of Trump’s groping, news the FBI was investigating a tip that Russia had been cultivating Trump for the presidency for years, and then a bunch of more accusations of Trump’s groping.

But what also came out was FBI Directory James Comey telling the public he was investigating Hillary Clinton’s emails, emails that belonged to Anthony Weiner, then conducting a second press conference saying there wouldn’t be any charges against Clinton. After being gaslighted by the Far Right for over two decades, all the public needed to hear was the FBI director say “Hillary” and “investigation” in the same sentence. Thank you, James motherfucker Comey. Basically, the gaslighting of Hillary Clinton outweighed the creepiness of a racist old conman who steals from charities telling pre-teens he’ll be dating them in the future. This country is fucked up.

This October, Donald Trump keeps going for the October surprise and he keeps failing. This week, The New York Post published a story about Hunter Biden’s emails between him and Ukraine. Of course, The New York Post is a shit tabloid so it’s nothing.

Donald Trump was hoping a huge reveal would come out from his corrupt Justice Department about Obama and Biden unmasking Michael Flynn during an FBI investigation. Trump, senators like Rand Paul, congressmen like Jim Jordan, and Fox News fucknuts have been telling us this is “treason.” This week, the Justice Department’s politically-motivated investigation into its own investigation landed with such a thud, that they didn’t even bother with a public report.

Now, Trump is getting desperate. His latest October surprise is that the raid Obama authorized that killed bin Laden didn’t kill bin Laden. No, it killed a body double. Donald Trump retweeted a conspiracy theory by Qanon despite saying last night at his train wreck of a town hall, that he doesn’t know anything about Qanon.

We have about 20 days until the election. Expect more “surprises,” especially as Trump’s polls get worse and he becomes more desperate. I expect them to resemble this cartoon.

If you think we’ve seen insane Trump now, wait until we get even closer to November 3. And for full-on crazy Trump, wait until after he loses.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Religious Test Bigotry


cjones10172020

Don’t take my word for it that Republicans are going to lose in November. Take theirs.

Republicans know they’re going to lose the Senate (even South Carolina is competitive. South Carolina!). They’re going to lose the White House. There is no chance they can retake Congress.

Republicans know the will of the American people is against them. The majority of the nation rejects Republicanism and Trumpism. In the past 32 years, they’ve only won the popular vote in a presidential election…ONCE. In 2018, Senate Democratic candidates received 12 million more votes than Republican candidates. And despite the will of this nation being against Republicans, they control the White House, the Senate, and will soon have six out of nine justices on the Supreme Court which will rule for decades. Do you think that’s fucked up? Good, because it’s fucked up.

Republicans know the majority of America doesn’t like them. They know the more educated and informed Americans are, they more likely they’ll vote against their policies because their policies are stupid, racist, and regressive. “Make America great again” means make America go backwards. And that’s why they’re ramming through the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett.

Nine months was the time between Merrick Garland’s nomination to the Supreme Court and the election in 2016, yet Republicans wouldn’t even discuss it. There were no hearings. Republican senators refused to even meet with the man. There are 21 days between now and election day and yesterday, Republicans began hearings for Amy Coney Barrett.

Is it because she’s so qualified? No. While I don’t believe she’s a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging moron, she doesn’t have much experience. She’s been a judge, not just a federal judge…but a judge period for less than four years. Does she need to be rammed through because of her excellent judgement? Well, she judged that all seven of her children could attend a White House super-spreader event without wearing face masks or engaging in social distancing. Should we ram her through because she’s a person who stands by her word and has exemplary principles? I don’t know because she once said only conservatives should replace conservative justices and vice versa for liberals. Today, she’s a conservative nominee replacing Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

And should we ram her through because of her independence and free will? No because she’s in a cult. Literally. She is in a religious cult.

Republicans scream that Democrats shouldn’t exercise “religious bigotry” over her. I disagree. Exercise that shit. She’s in a cult. She’s going to be on the bench for decades. We have a right to know if she’s going to rule like the Handmaid’s Tale. It’s fair to ask if she’s going to enact her religious beliefs when it comes to abortion, health coverage for all Americans, guns, birth control, gay marriage, or force every unwed woman in the nation to wear a chastity belt, and if they screw around, a scarlet letter.

Yesterday, I observed an exchange between a conservative cartoonist and a liberal cartoonist. I merely observed…for once. The conservative was upset with the liberal’s cartoon on Donald Trump’s nominee and said his work “smacked” of religious bigotry. The conservative asked, “What would you have drawn had she been a devout Muslim or an Orthodox Jew?” My question to him would be, “What would you have drawn?”.

Let’s be honest. If a Democratic president nominated a Muslim female, the GOP would freak out. For example, look at what they’ve done with Ilhan Omar, and she’s a Congresswoman. Donald Trump has accused her of coming to “our” nation after messing up her birth nation of Somalia, never mind the fact she left Somalia when she was eight. They’ve accused her of supporting terrorists and of being a terrorist. They’ve yelled, “Send her back.” Republicans have said, “How dare she tell us how to run ‘our’ country,” forgetting the fact she was elected to tell us how to run our country. Never mind the fact that our country is also her country. They’ve even accused her of marrying her brother. Seriously. And if we take Donald Trump’s track record of hypocrisy into account, we should investigate to see if Melania is his sister.

So yeah. I’m sure Republicans wouldn’t exercise any religious bigotry if a Muslim was nominated to the Supreme Court…or any court for that matter. And just how many Muslims are currently occupying federal courts in the United States of America? Zero. Zip. Nada. Nil. Zilch. None.

There are no Muslims on any of our nation’s federal courts. And yet, Republicans are clutching their pearls by people asking a religious zealot who’s a member of a literal cult that literally tells women to be submissive to their men, if her faith will play a part in her decisions.

I have two great ideas: First, let’s nominate nothing but atheists. They won’t be influenced by some backwards dogma while also respecting religious freedom because that also protects our right to not have any faith.

My second great idea is to stop these proceedings because ramming this confirmation of Amy Coney Barret to the Supreme Court is a joke leading to a tragedy.

This is a lifetime appointment. By ramming it through, Republicans are showing they don’t respect that. They don’t respect the American people. They say the American people should decide who puts these judges on the courts but by ramming this through within 22 days shows that Republicans are afraid of what the American people will decide.

And has Amy Coney Barrett said, “Hey, let’s wait until after the election.”? Of course not. Because just like everyone else Donald Trump has nominated, she doesn’t have any principles. She can not wait to get on the Supreme Court and take away your health insurance and to outlaw abortion. Hell, Justices Thomas and Alito are salivating at the chance to outlaw gay marriage.

The real irony here is that after she gets on the court and helps install Donald Trump president for life, there will no longer be a Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Regenerating Trump


cjones10162020

There has been a lot of talk that the experimental cocktail created by Regeneron that regenerated Trump from the Trump Virus was developed from stem cells which is acquired from aborted fetuses. Why, if that was true, it would make a huge hypocrite out of Donald Trump and every right-to-life extremist who supports him.

But it’s not true? If that’s the case, then why did I draw this cartoon?

It’s not true. According to the manufacturer, Regeneron, no human embryonic stem cells or recently harvested fetal tissues were used in the REGN-COV2, the drug administered to Donald Trump. But there’s a big but here and which included all I needed to draw this cartoon.

Regeneron uses stem cells in its research, usually mouse embryonic stem cells and human blood stem cells. According to Snopes, The “antibody cocktail” given to Trump is a combination of two human-made proteins and was developed using a decades-old cell line derived from embryonic kidney tissues obtained from an aborted human fetus in 1973.

Did you catch that last part? It was developed using embryonic kidney tissues obtained from an aborted HUMAN fetus.

Cut to the chase: If it wasn’t for abortion, and abortion being legal, Donald Trump would not have had this drug to save his life. He would not have received this drug he has called a “cure.” It wouldn’t have made him feel the “best he has in 20 years.” Without this drug, he wouldn’t have told people not to “fear the virus” and they shouldn’t let it “dominate their lives.” Without this drug, he wouldn’t have been around to say catching the virus is a “blessing from God.”

This is the drug, from an aborted fetus, that Donald Trump says he’s going to provide to every American who contracts the coronavirus, for free.

Meanwhile, he’s trying to take away your insurance, your right to obtain coverage even if you have a pre-existing condition, to prevent you from keeping your child on your insurance until he or she is 26, even if he or she has Downs Syndrome, all while he’s putting a religious extremist on the Supreme Court who will vote to outlaw abortion.

Of course, it’s a lie that Donald Trump will give this “miracle cure” to everyone for free. This guy can’t even provide enough testing for the virus. But even if he did, will evangelical whackanoodle fucknuts accept a “cure” created from an abortion fetus? Probably, because every evangelical voting for Donald Trump in this nation is a hypocrite.

Since Donald Trump is a hypocrite about everything, it’s only natural that he’s still weebling around today thanks to the benefits of abortion being legal.

So, if you’re a Donald Trump supporter only because he’s “pro-life,” how does that hypocritical Kool-Aid cocktail taste?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Pence Fly


cjones10122020

If you heard a little tiny high pitched voice during last night’s debate saying, “Help me,” it wasn’t the fly. It was Republican senators going down with this administration. Thom Tillis, Lindsey Graham, Joni Ernst, and Martha McSally, who was never elected in the first place, are all buzzing around Mike Pence’s head saying, “Help me.”

I paid close attention to the debate last night. Kamala Harris was expected to prosecute the Trump administration. Mike Pence was expected to deflect, lie, and be condescending and wormy. And though I tried to pay attention, I lost all focus for two plus minutes of the debate. Why was I distracted for over two minutes? Because that’s how long a fly was attached to Mike Pence’s white head.

I was mesmerized. When is the fly going to fly away? Will it leave? Is it stuck to whatever component Pence uses to fossilize his hair? What the fuck is going on with the fly and Mike Pence’s hair! AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH! FLY!!!!

Finally it left, but before it did, it had its own Twitter account. The internet lit up over the fly. If you run outside right now and ask someone for their first impression of last night’s debate, they’ll mention the fly. My readers on Facebook were demanding I draw a fly cartoon. At first, I thought, “Nah. This is an internet thing and that doesn’t always translate to the rest of the world….holy shit. Everybody’s talking about it.”

As soon as the debate was over, on MSNBC, Rachel Maddow, Joy Reid, and Nicole Wallace talked about the fly. When Brian Williams came in, he talked about the fly. On CNN, Anderson Cooper, Chris Cuomo, and Don Lemon were talking about the fly. Over on Fox News, they were talking about the best pumpkin spice recipes for a brisk Autumn afternoon.

Before going to bed around 1:00 A.M, I knew I had to draw a fly cartoon. It’s funny that before the debate, I was wondering what would come out of it for me to draw. I never expected it to be a fly on a Trump goon’s head.

As they say, flies are attracted to shit. And whenever you defend Donald Trump and the “accomplishments” of his administration, you’re talking shit.

And just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored reality. Mike Pence told Senator Harris, “you’re entitled to your own opinions but you’re not entitled to your own facts.” He said this twice ignoring the FACT he is the main butt poodle for a man who has told over 20,000 lies.

Just like he tried to pretend the fly wasn’t there, Mike Pence, the evangelical, pretends he’s not goon number one for Mr. Grab Them By The Pussy.

Just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignores the fact the Trump administration throws children into baby cages.

Just like he paid no attention to the fly, Mike Pence pays no attention to the fact over 210,000 people have died from the coronavirus.

As he ignored the fly, Mike Pence, head of the Coronavirus Task Force, ignores safety protocols. The woman he sleeps with whom he calls “Mother,” ignored safety protocols and the debate rules last night by coming onto the stage without a face mask.

Just like he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored the rules of the debate, talking over his time limit, talking over the moderator, Susan Page, and talking over his opponent, Senator Kamala Harris.

Just like he ignored the fly, he ignored all respect toward Senator Harris and Ms. Page. He ignored respect for the American people, using them as if criticizing the Trump administration’s failure over containing the Trump Virus is somehow attacking the American public.

Fortunately for Mike Pence, Senator Harris and Ms. Page also ignored the fly on his white head. They also ignored the cold sore around his mouth. Herpes much? Mother should have kept her mask on. They ignored the pink eye. Mother should have worn goggles. Quite frankly, someone should have taken his pulse. The guy looked like death and flies were literally landing on him. Can zombies speak other than saying, “Brains”? Except for this zombie, he ain’t got any.

A CNN poll said Kamala Harris won the debate, 69% to Pence’s 39%. Personally, I think the fly came in second. The worm came in a distant third.

Mike Pence is a coward. Mike Pence is a worm. And just like all members, supporters, and cultists of this administration, he’s full of shit. And that’s why flies are attracted to him.

Bzzzzz.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Bingo


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Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Chris Christie, Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Miller, Thom Tillis, Mike Lee, Ron Johnson, Hope Hicks, Nicholas Luna, Chad Gilmartin, Karoline Leavitt, Bill Stepien, and Ronna McDaniel (who even had “rona” in her name) are all people working in the White House, or close to it, who have tested positive for the coronavirus… so far.

There are nations that aren’t having as many outbreaks a day as this White House has had.

Many of these people have worked overtime to downplay the virus and deny it was as bad as it is. They worked hard to mislead the public. They over-exerted themselves to lie to America. And if they didn’t do that, then they worked for an administration that did. They are complicit.

Let’s not say any of them deserve it, but they each truly did ask for it.

A few months ago, Kellyanne Conway demanded a reporter to produce the name of a White House staffer who claimed people in the administration were calling it the “China Virus.” She said it was a racist term and nobody in that White House would ever use such an ugly description. Scratch that. Soon, Donald Trump was calling it the “China Virus” and Kellyanne, when asked to denounce that, said, “Look over there! It’s an aardvark!” And while the reporters were looking, she took off.

But many people who have caught the virus from the Trump team that downplayed it and refused to exercise the safety guidelines from their own Coronavirus Task Force, did not ask for it. A lot of people did not ask for mouth breathers to breathe on them.

While Kellyanne asked for it, her daughter didn’t. It was bad enough that Kellyanne Conway spent the past four years talking about “alternative facts” and lying for a corrupt administration. But who knew she was this vile? She refused to practice safety so she could stay in line and pander to a stupid and hateful president. She exposed herself to catch the coronavirus. Now, her lying and pandering to the worst president in world history has threatened the lives of her children. Her 15-year-old daughter, TikTok sensation Claudia, has now caught it.

In a video, Claudia claimed her mother lied to her about testing negative. Then she posted a new video saying she “guessed” she had misinterpreted her mom and that Kellyanne said she tested three times, twice positive, and never lied about it. The best thing about this is, she was taping a new TikTok video with her mom in the room who said, “You lied about your fucking mother…about covid.”

I was wrong. The best part about that is at the end her sentence, Kellyanne asked, “You’re taping again…”

Isn’t it delicious irony that Kellyanne is upset her daughter “lied” about covid? If only Kellyanne could hold her boss, the president (sic) of the United States, to the same standards and accountability as she holds her 15-year-old daughter.

Kellyanne also left her position at the White House to spend more time breathing on her family.

Others who did not ask for the virus from the White House are the three journalists who Kayleigh McEnany helped catch it.

This White House refused to create a safe environment for its employees. They carried out rallies. They even carried out huge, mask-less events on the White House lawn which is believed to have been the spark for this latest outbreak. After sharing it with the world, this administration refused to contact those in danger. They even tried to hide the outbreak.

The administration didn’t want to alert the press that Hope Hicks had acquired it. Would they have still hidden it after Trump tested positive? How would they have explained all the people working from home? What would they have said after journalists covering the White House started catching it?

Now, White House adviser and hate speech writer Stephen Miller has caught it. He was in that group with Hope Hicks that leaped into Marine One with Donald Trump last Wednesday. Another in that group was Jared Kushner.

If you had Stephen Miller on your bingo card, congratulations. Now, all with Jared are keeping an eye on him.

I’m sorry. Is it too soon to mock these people for catching a deadly virus? Not if issuing a commemorative coin celebrating Donald Trump defeating the virus, before he’s defeated the virus, isn’t too soon.

But hey, if you are one of those White House employees who have caught the virus because of Donald Trump’s failures, don’t worry. According to Donald Trump, it’s no worse than the flu. It’s not that bad. You can’t let it “dominate your life.”

In fact, you’re probably a winner. I mean, Donald Trump isn’t a loser, right? It’s not like everything he touches turns to shit, right? And he touched you, right?

As Hans Landa said in Inglourious Basterds, “Ooh. That’s a bingo.”

Creative note: Laura, one of my cartoon proofers, deserves a shout-out for this. While proofing, she asked if the bingo balls were supposed to look like the coronavirus. They weren’t but I thought it was an excellent idea. Thanks, Laura.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Failed Hoax


CNN10042020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

There was hope that Donald Trump having the coronavirus would change his messaging of the pandemic…and more importantly, change how his base behaves with it.

Nope.

Donald Trump said he went to the “school of covid.” He fully understood it now…then tweeted he may be immune to it, despite testing positive and going to the hospital for three nights. He may have gone to the “real school,” but like that Ivy League school he got into, he might want to get someone else to take his tests.

If Donald Trump fully understands the coronavirus, then he fully doesn’t give a rat’s flying ass about the danger he’s posing to others. He risked lives with his joyride outside the hospital. He risked lives with his photo-ops inside the hospital. He risked lives leaving the hospital early and returning to the White House for more photo-ops and to immediately make a campaign video. Of course, all without a mask.

Soon after arriving back to the White House, he came out on the balcony, removed his face mask, labored to breathe, then gave a salute. Who was he saluting? The people on the sidewalk facing the south lawn are too far away to tell he’s saluting. So, what the hell? Go to bed, you orange goon and make sure they burn the sheets in the morning, you contagious rancid sack of walking pumpkin shi…

Anyway, now, his base is using his return to the White House to claim the illness isn’t that bad. Or, that it’s really bad but this is just how incredibly strong Donald Trump is. What a superhero. What a super spreader. How many people in the Trump orbit have tested positive now? How many will?

Trump was euphoric tweeting he feels better now than he has in the past 20 years…and his base is claiming this is “owning the libs.” Donald Trump says we shouldn’t be “scared of the virus” or let it “dominate our lives.” It’s a message to his base.

Maybe Donald Trump should message to his base that they won’t receive the same treatment he has. They won’t be placed in Walter Reed hospital. They won’t receive experimental medical treatment. They won’t receive non-stop pampering and medical attention by the world’s top doctors. They won’t have doctors also engaging in spin doctoring. They won’t have steroids to make them feel better than they did 20 years ago.

What Donald Trump needs to message to his base is to wash their hands, practice social distancing, and wear their damn mask.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Joyride


cjones10102020

Everything Donald Trump and his goons have said about the coronavirus has been wrong.

Last February, probably as part of her audition for the job of White House Spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany said, “We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, and isn’t that refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama?”

SpokesBarbie has excelled at her job of lying to the American public, but it’s really hard to gaslight that the virus hasn’t “come here” when you have the fucking virus. Also, the coronavirus did NOT come here during President Obama’s two terms and the majority of terrorists in the United States make up a part of Donald Trump’s base. Fact.

Last week, after Hope Hicks tested positive, Kayleigh went ahead and gave a press briefing. She claims she wasn’t aware of Hicks’ positive test for the virus, but we know Kayleigh lies. Now, three journalists who cover the White House tested positive for the virus in addition to two of Kayleigh’s staffers.

Just like Donald Trump, who went ahead and attended a New Jersey fundraiser after knowing Hope Hicks had tested positive and after being in her presence, Kayleigh has disregarded the safety of others in favor of selfishness, arrogance, and stupidity.

Donald Trump and his White House have no regard for anyone’s safety. They and Trump’s doctors refuse to tell us when Donald Trump last tested negative. For all we know, he went to that fundraiser after testing positive. For all we know, he went to last week’s debate after testing positive or at least knowing he should be in quarantine.

In fact, everyone in the White House and all who attended the super spreader event that was the Rose Garden ceremony for Amy Coney Barrett should be locked up in a bubble. They should all be in quarantine. Jared, Ivanka, and even the vice president, that ass-kissing sycophant who sleeps with a woman he calls “Mother,” should be in quarantine.

At the debate, Melania Trump, who now has the virus, and the Trump offsprings, Ivanka, Don Jr, Eric, and Tiffany, all arrogantly refused to wear masks. They arrived to the debate conveniently too late to be tested. They were offered face masks, which they refused. They should not have been offered face masks. They should have been kicked out promptly on their spoiled trust-fund baby asses.

McEnany continued to talk to the press after Trump’s positive diagnosis. She claimed it was safe because she had tested negative and not wearing a mask was her personal choice. I’m not saying she deserved to catch the virus, but let’s say catching it was her “personal choice.”

And if Mark Meadows, who also spoke to the press catches it, it’ll be the chief-of-staff’s personal choice. If the Trump kids catch it, it’ll be their personal choice too.

It was Chris Christie’s personal choice. Christie once said there is an acceptable number of deaths for the pandemic. Now, not wanting to be one of those “acceptable deaths,” has checked himself into a hospital after testing positive.

The Trump administration is still disregarding the safety of others. There has been no contact tracing from the Rose Garden super spreader event. They did not contact the Biden Campaign about the positive tests beforehand. They didn’t contact reporters after Wednesday’s press briefing. The New Jersey governor’s office is frustrated in that for their contact tracing for the Trump fundraiser at Donald Trump’s shitty golf resort (where previously, the biggest worry was acquiring bedbugs), the Republicans and Trump Campaign have only given them a list of names of the over 200 who attended the potential super spreader event. They’re not providing contact information.

And Donald Trump hasn’t just disregarded his own safety (out of stupidity) but also that of those who protect and serve him. He put the lives of Secret Service agents in jeopardy for his Sunday joyride so his supporters could see him cruising around outside Walter Reed hospital for a minute. He put their lives in danger again by going back to the White House last night. He’s putting the lives of everyone who works in the White House in danger. A lot of those workers are non-political and serve the president of the United States, no matter who he is or from which party.

Donald Trump has put appearance ahead of safety. Donald Trump’s first job is to protect the American people. With the infected including himself, Hope Hicks, Kayleigh McEnany, Chris Christie, Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien, Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel, Kellyanne Conway, three Republican senators, Mike Lee of Utah, Thom Tillis of North Carolina, and Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson, Trump’s personal assistant Nick Luna, and University of Notre Dame President John Jenkins, Donald Trump can’t protect those closest to him. Donald Trump failed to protect himself.

And Kayleigh McEnany, who has spent the past eight months lying and spreading misinformation about the virus, who promised on her first day that she’d never lie to us, and who said Donald Trump would never allow the virus to enter this country, has now had the virus enter her. Her Dear Leader, who she professed so much bullshit faith in, failed to protect her.

Donald Trump refused to protect the nation from the virus. Instead, he spread false information and waged a war against face masks and those who were fighting the virus. He touted fake remedies like Hydroxychlorquine and told us time and time again it’s what was needed to fight the virus…while not using it himself after he caught the virus.

Did Donald Trump deserve to catch the virus? Kinda. He did ask for it. He challenged it. One thing he deserves is being behind Joe Biden 16 points in the latest poll.

And Donald Trump, for failing to protect this nation leading to over 210,000 deaths, deserves to be thrown out in November. Afterward, Donald Trump deserves to continue to receive the best medical care our government can offer him…in prison.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Virtually Nobody


cjones10072020

Today, my friend Mike Petersen, who does a website and feature called “Cartoon of the Day,” used my cartoon from yesterday and said I was “piling on.” I don’t take issue with that, but that really wasn’t my intention.

For me, political cartoons should point out the obvious. Donald Trump told racist goons to “stand by.” In my cartoon, that goon is Clorox Man, who I created some time ago to replace Kool-Aid Man. I’m taking the same route for today’s cartoon. Trump said the coronavirus “affects virtually nobody.” Right now, the president of the United States is in Walter Reed Medical Center which is not where one goes when they’re unaffected by the coronavirus.

Donald Trump is in what they call the “Presidential Suite” at the military hospital in Bethesda. This is named after the president, not Donald Trump. But now, we should definitely call the coronavirus the “Trump Virus.” He has his name all over it. Now, it’s all up inside him.

If people see me as piling on, so be it. What’s worse than piling on is the inability of being humble by the Trump cult. Right now, these people should be eating some humble pie, eating crow, admitting they were wrong and that their actions endangered their health and lives, those of their families, and the entire nation. They need to eat some shit.

Eric Trump sent out a tweet about praying for his daddy. That’s nice. But at the debate, Eric refused to wear a mask. In fact, officials in Cleveland even offered him and his siblings, Donald Jr, Tiffany, Ivanka, and their wives and girlfriends, masks. Even Melania refused to mask up. And the thing is, the entire team of arrogant, selfish, entitled slobs showed up late. It was too late to be tested for the virus as everyone was supposed to be who attended the event. Donald Trump, who may have known he was likely to test positive, was not tested. They refused to be mature or responsible. They need to eat some shit.

This is selfishness and arrogance. But it gets worse.

After being in contact with the Biden Campaign, the Trump Campaign did NOT inform them of the danger. There was no courtesy or responsibility extended by Donald Trump, who of course has famously said, “I take no responsibility.”

Then, after learning White House aide Hope Hicks had tested positive and being on the same helicopter and plane as she was, Donald Trump still flew off to New Jersey for a fundraiser. An indoor fundraiser. Thursday, before Trump tested positive, but knowing he was in danger, White House Spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany held a press briefing without informing the press. Now, three journalists have tested positive. Kayleigh needs to eat some shit.

Yesterday, Chief of Staff Mark Meadows was out talking to reporters without a mask saying it’s OK because he tested negative. This is still being selfish and arrogant. They’re still ignoring science because if you’ve been paying attention, he can still test positive tomorrow. Mark Meadows needs to eat some shit.

And they’re testing positive. So far, three Republicans senators have tested positive. Thom Tillis of North Carolina, Mike Lee of Utah, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin. Do you know what all three of them need to eat? Shit.

Others in the Trump orbit of doom have also tested positive such as the First Lady, Melania, Kellyanne Conway (who was in the debate prep), Campaign Manager Bill Stepien, and others. You can expect more positives throughout the next few days. Does the Trump Virus affect one’s appetite because Melania, Bill, and most of all, Kellyanne need to eat….wait for it….SHIT!!!!

Yesterday, a fucknut cartoonist drew two cartoons defending Trump. In the first, Trump is still raring to debate despite having the virus. You know, because he’s a tough guy. In the second, he’s going after Nancy Pelosi for pointing out that Trump should have exercised more caution. The Trump cult doesn’t handle reality very well and we’re still not seeing anything resembling humble from them. Does Uber Eats deliver shit?

Eric wants us to pray for his dad. For the past eight months, these assholes have been real assholes about this. The White House has manipulated data. The president (sic) has demanded schools to reopen putting your children’s lives in danger. Jared thought this would play very well politically by hitting the blue states hardest. They made attempts to outbid states’ purchases of medical equipment, driving up costs. They withheld medical equipment with Jared saying, “It’s ours, not yours.” Trump tweeted, “Liberate Michigan,” sending his goons to storm state capitals. He encouraged bikers to gather in Sturgis. He continued to hold hate rallies without any safety precautions. In fact, in Tulsa, they removed stickers on seats that were encouraging social distancing. They waged a political war against wearing face masks. They made the masks about individual liberty and freedom. They promoted fake treatment like Hydroxychloroquine and bleach. Donald Trump promoted fake treatment from a doctor who warns of demon sperm. Donald Trump directed his goons to engage in a smear campaign against Dr. Fauci. The administration politicized the CDC. Even inside the White House, the wearing of face masks has been discouraged. And even after Donald Trump’s friend and supporter, Herman Cain, died, they refused to take it seriously. Every single Trump cultist needs to eat a big, huge pile of steaming shit.

A lot of liberals think Donald Trump is faking this. Trust me. They don’t want to eat all this shit.

There is hope. Yesterday afternoon, after Trump was helicoptered from the South Lawn to Walter Reed, a group of White House goons was seen gathered with nearly all of them wearing face masks. Though, they still were not practicing social distancing.

The president’s main job is to protect the people of the United States. Donald Trump has said this himself on many occasions. To do this, the president, even Donald Trump, must protect himself. His life doesn’t belong to just him and his family right now. He has an obligation to the nation. Donald Trump refused to protect the presidency. Take care of his citizens? Take care of his own people? Donald Trump, who has gathered his followers into tight rallies, failed to even take care of himself.

The Trump cult does not do well with facts, even when their lives depend on it. It’s a fact that most things Donald Trump says is wrong. He said the corona…er, Trump Virus “affects virtually nobody.”

He was wrong. If you don’t believe me, ask his doctor.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.