Political Cartoons

DeSantis Deflections


Cjones08062021

President Joe Biden brought out a harsher tone to Republican governors who are doing everything they can to help spread the Delta variant of the coronavirus.

President Biden said, “Some state officials are passing laws that forbid people from doing the right thing. I say to the governors, please help. If you’re not going to help, get out of the way of the people that are trying to do the right thing. Use your power to save lives.”

It’s true Florida’s Ron DeSantis and Texas’ Greg Abbott are implementing rules forbidding local governments, hospitals, clinics, businesses, and schools from enacting measures to prevent the spread of the virus. DeSantis got upset over Biden’s remarks.

Refusing to use the title of “President” while attacking President Biden, DeSantis said, “Why don’t you get this border secure, and until you do that, I don’t want to hear a blip about COVID from you.”

On Fox News, he told Laura Ingraham, “He is lecturing people about imposing covid restrictions and lockdowns and not only doing nothing to stop the border surge but actually facilitating it on the other hand, he just loses all credibility when it comes to covid.”

DeSantis should know a lot about “facilitating” covid. He signed an executive order barring schools from mandating face masks. He’s refused to mandate all state employees to get vaccinated.

With more than 11,500 hospitalizations reported Tuesday by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Florida is the most contagious state in the nation, accounting for 20 percent of the country’s total infection rate. Over the past three days, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that the state has had more than 50,000 new infections and 100 deaths.

DeSantis’ strategy for this has to been to attack Dr. Anthony Fauci, the media, and President Biden. His attacks on the president about the border is a deflection unless he can provide facts on how illegal immigration has affected the spike of covid cases in Florida. Maybe until he gets that number, we shouldn’t want to hear “blip” from him about the border.

DeSantis said President Biden is “bringing in people from over 100 different countries across the southern border.” President Biden is not “bringing in” people. And can DeSantis name all these nations, over 100, he’s claiming the president is bringing people in from? DeSantis is playing the Trump card by refusing to use the president’s title, playing the race card, and lying his DeBalls off.

Ron DeSantis is a racist liar and he’s continuing to politicize the virus which is leading to thousands of deaths in his state. DeSantis learned nothing from watching Donald Trump politicize the virus while watching his constituents die…except that it plays well with the Fox News base.

South Carolina’s governor, Henry McFucknut…I’m sorry, Henry McMaster, responded to the president in a tweet, saying, “Every day, illegal immigrants, drug dealers and sex traffickers enter the USA undocumented, unvaccinated, and untouched. Yet American citizens wouldn’t make it into an airport like that.” That’s another racist deflection that has very littl, if anything, to do with the increase in coronavirus cases. Sure, drug dealers and sex traffickers are bad, but what does that have to do with covid in South Carolina? Pot holes are bad too, but filling them isn’t going to cure covid. What will help get rid of covid are face masks, which have been proven to be effective.

Seven states, all red, have banned mask mandates. Those states are Iowa, Texas, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Tennessee and South Carolina. Guess where the virus is increasing the most. Red states.

Meanwhile, the Biden administration is considering vaccinating all members of the United States military, which is long overdue. In New York City, Mayor Bill DeBlasio has implemented vaccine mandates.

In late July, he ordered a vaccine mandate for hospital employees and other health facilities. Immediately, vaccinations in the city increased. He then ordered all 340,000 city employees to be vaccinated. The vaccination rate continued to rise. On Tuesday, Mayor de Blasio announced that residents and visitors over the age of 12 must show proof of vaccination to enter restaurants, bars, gyms, and movie theaters, either by showing their vaccination card or through the pending “Key to NYC Pass” mobile vaccine passport.

If you want to live a normal life and go out, and not be tested constantly by having an extremely long Q-tip rammed up your nose to tickle your brain, you’ll get vaccinated. That alone would be incentive enough for me, but in New York City, they’re also offering $100 to get vaccinated.

I didn’t feel either of the two shots I got to be vaccinated. What I did feel was the long swab going up my nose. Trust me on this, you want the needle, not the swab.

I’m all for these mandates. Let’s go ahead and mandate face masks again. It’s the conservatives’ fault anyway. Let’s mandate vaccines. Of course, you don’t have to get one, but if you want to go to Cheesecake or Cracker Barrel, you’ll get vaccinated. Let’s implement a system of vaccine passports. None of this is fascism or communism. It’s no more tyrannical than say, I don’t know….voter IDs.

Ron DeSantis is playing to the Trump crowd and to Trump himself by refusing to help save lives in his state. He’s also playing to Trump by refusing to call President Biden “President.” DeSantis is running for reelection and after that, if Donald Trump says it’s OK, DeSantis will run for president. He needs to be run out of the country.

DeSantis is deflecting while people die. Deflection is a GOP strategy preferred over acknowledging facts and problems. DeSantis is shouting “squirrel.” Meanwhile in Florida, people are still dying.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Governor Duct Tape


Cjones08052021

As a former gigging musician, I can truly appreciate the importance of duct tape. A guitar player will have guitar strings, pedals, straps, cables, picks, set lists, and other assorted musician goodies in his gig bag, but one of the more important essentials is duct tape. What’s the specific use of duct tape at a show for a rock band? There isn’t one but you never know what’s going to come up. Mostly though, you use it to tape cables to the floor so people don’t trip over them, including band members. I once did a show without a stage (did a LOT of those) and we were placed in front of the bathroom. People were walking between me and the bass player while we were playing. Duct tape was very important that night.

The company Johnson & Johnson invented duct tape for the military to use during World War II. They needed something waterproof to keep moisture out of ammunition cases. Duct tape literally helped us beat fascism. Too bad it was never used to strap down fascist Trump. But maybe we can use it on other gropey elected officials…even those who are not fascists and are actually pretty good at their jobs. Hey, it worked on an unruly airline passenger.

Things have been intense in the air lately. A lot of people flying have been really upset over airline mask mandates and causing a scene. They’ve even been getting violent with flight attendants. In fact, airlines are now offering martial arts classes to their flight attendants. And people know about the mask mandates before they get on the planes.

Last year, I had to wear a mask on a flight from Washington to Houston to Memphis, and then back from Memphis to Chicago to Washington. Last June, I had to wear a face mask on a train all the way from Fredericksburg to New York City and back. While in the city, I had to wear it each time I got on the subway and even in the stations. Wearing a face mask all that time sucked, but it’s not really a big deal. It didn’t make me take swings at people or scream like an overgrown crybaby.

The Federal Aviation Administration reported 3,271 cases of unruly behavior by passengers in the first half of 2021, including 2,475 instances where passengers refused to comply with the federal face mask mandate. Surprised? No, we are not. We know MAGAts are entitled assholes.

Some airlines have suspended selling alcohol on flights. One flight attendant had two of her teeth knocked out by a passenger.

On a Frontier Airlines flight from Philadelphia to Miami last Saturday, flight attendants had to literally strap a passenger to his seat with duct tape. Going from Philly to Miami, they should have known this wasn’t going to end well. Philadelphia is a city that booed Santa Claus and Miami….well, Miami is in Florida.

Maxwell (why does that make me think about a silver hammer?) Wilkinson Berry, a seriously entitled 22-year old, was caught on video screaming about how entitled he is. He was screaming that his grandfather is an attorney and hollered, “My parents are worth more than fucking two million goddamn dollars!” Not just any dollars…but “goddamn” dollars. Those are the more serious dollars only given to entitled families, like MWB’s family (I’m assuming his trust-fund baby friends call him “MWB”).

So anyway, this spoiled asshole got his stupid ass duct taped to his seat and his fellow passengers started started cheering and laughing at him.

Before he got duct taped, Barry took a swing at a flight attendant. He also groped a couple and grabbed some boobs. At one point, he took his shirt off so everyone could see his entitled pecs. The video of him being an entitled asshole has been viewed on Twitter nearly ten million times….I’m sorry…nearly ten million goddamn times. Barry is so entitled, instead of apologizing, he tweeted his outrage at being “dehumanized” on the flight and on Twitter.

The entitled asshole tweeted, “This will forever be the most dehumanizing experience in my entire life. Many people laughed and ridiculed me as I was mistreated by staff of a PROFESSIONAL airline. Just to make matters worth this has gone “viral” on the internet and will never disappear. My life will never be…”

I think he was still drinking while he sent that tweet. So, everybody stop making fun of Baby Barry. He’s getting upset.

Barry has been charged with three misdemeanor counts of battery, but maybe he truly is entitled because the flight crew has been suspended with pay pending an investigation. How dare they strap a rich white boy to his seat with duct tape…even though he was throwing punches and groping. That is some serious white privilege. Next time, strap his ass to one of the wings.

Another investigation of an entitled rich person says New York governor Andrew Cuomo is a Gropey McCroperson. Cuomo’s defense was, “I’m a gropey person. I grope everybody, women, men, children, white people, black people, Asians, puppies…I’ll grope you right now. C’mere….don’t you run from me.”

New York is a Democratic state and the Democratic Party may impeach their Democratic governor. The findings of the investigation were announced by the state’s Democratic attorney general. The nation’s Democratic president has called for Cuomo to resign. While Democrats will remove a fellow Democrat for sexual assault, Republicans would say of their own, “He says he didn’t do it.”

Charlotte Bennett, a former state employee and one of Cuomo’s victims, said, “It wasn’t an apology and he didn’t take accountability for his actions. He blamed me and said that I simply misinterpreted what he had said.” Yeah…I hate when people misinterpret when I grab them by the ass.

The state assembly session starts next month (in case you’re a Republican, that’s September), but Bennet says that’s not soon enough and they need to remove Cuomo now. I don’t live in New York so I’m not totally aware of how their system works, but in most states, a legislature can’t call itself into a special session. Only a governor can do that. And in case you weren’t paying attention (Republicans), the governor of New York is Andrew Cuomo. Good luck removing him before September.

The investigation concluded he had sexually harassed at least 11 women and violated state and federal law in the process. The speaker of the state assembly said Cuomo “has lost the confidence of the Assembly Democratic majority and that he can no longer remain in office.”

Part of Cuomo’s defense was showing multiple photos of him touching the faces of many people, with one of them being the president of the United States (the actual president, Republicans). When asked about this touchy-feely incident, President Biden said, “Look, I’m not going to flyspeck this. I am sure there were some embraces that were totally innocent, but apparently the attorney general decided there were things that weren’t.” Biden is old. What the hell is “flyspeck?” When asked about the president’s comments, Cuomo said, “I’ll grope that flyspeck.”

White House Spokesperson Jen Psaki said, “I don’t know that anyone could have watched this morning and not found the allegations to be abhorrent. I know I certainly did.” When asked about Psaki’s comments, Cuomo said, “Mmmmmmm.”

I’ve always liked Cuomo. I appreciated how straightforward and direct he was during the pandemic. He was the best source of information at the time about the virus while the president (sic…and the former fake one) of the United States was playing it down, telling us to use malaria medication and to shoot disinfectant up our asses. I always thought Cuomo was on the right side politically and would be a future president. Not anymore. He needs to resign…and if you can’t remove him from office until September…

…maybe strap him down with duct tape.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

GOP Comedy Night


Cjones08042021

Greg Gutfeld is a very unfunny person who thinks he’s funny. Fox News must think he’s funny because he has a show…but then again, Laura Ingraham has a show there too and it’s impossible, even for Fox News fuckers, to find her funny. But Greg Gutfeld is at least supposed to be funny. He does a show where he’s very sardonic which he mistakes for sarcasm. Instead of being funny, Gutfeld is cruel. But why is Greg Gutfeld so unfunny? It’s because he’s a Republican.

Republicans suck at humor. In fact, they believe cruelty is hilarious. Ever watch a Trump rally on TV? Ever been to a Trump rally? It’s horrible. The truth is, liberals own humor. No, not every liberal is funny but every funny person is a liberal. It’s the trade off for not every Republican being racist, but every racist is a Republican.

Here’s the difference: Greg Gutfeld bills himself as the conservative Jon Stewart (except Jon Stewart is actually funny). No comedian, or anyone for that matter, will EVER refer to him or herself as the liberal Greg Gutfeld. Now, if someone ever says you’re the liberal Greg Gutfeld, that means they don’t think you’re funny. That would actually be funny.

Why do Republicans suck at humor? They’re not critical thinkers. Ever meet a funny lemming? I’m sure open mic nights at your local cult is chock full of amazing talent.

They tend to punch down which is never funny. Beating up on the disadvantaged is mean, not funny. Beating up on assholes in power is hilarious. It’s better to hit people who deserve it. For example: It’s not funny to make fun of your grandfather for having dentures or for wearing an adult diaper. But it’s HILARIOUS to make fun of Donald Trump for having dentures and wearing an adult diaper. Now, if you’re grandfather is an old evil fuck, then have at it.

When I was freelancing for The Costa Rica Star, I had a very unfunny pro-Trump conservative editor (conservative Canadian in Costa Rica. Why? I don’t get why people who hate brown people retire to Central America and then act like they own the place). He once asked me to draw a cartoon making fun of immigrants fleeing for their lives into Costa Rica from Honduras. He thought punching down on them would be hilarious. Naturally, I found a polite way to tell him to go fuck himself which would have been hilarious if that wasn’t a metaphor for me simply saying, “No.”

Which brings us to metaphors and analogies. Republicans suck at them. For example, some Republicans are comparing Britney Spears being in a conservatorship controlled by her father to a controlling big government. Based upon that analogy, every Republican should be controlled by the government because they’re fucking dangerous to themselves and everyone else around them.

Republicans don’t do well with hypocrisy. They think golf jokes about Obama are hilarious while golf jokes about Trump don’t exist.

But Republicans do find each other funny. Last weekend, Kevin McCarthy told a joke to a large Republican crowd about hitting Nancy Pelosi with a gavel. The entire crowd laughed. How is it funny to joke about hitting an old lady with a large heavy wooden object? The point is cruelty. Remember when Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a “slut?” His audience loved that shit. Was “feminazi” ever funny? Rush’s audience seemed to think so.

They also thought Donald Trump was hilarious. They’re right. He is hilarious, but inadvertently. Him telling cops to rough up people they were arresting and “don’t be too nice” isn’t funny. But him believing he’ll be reinstated and he still has a “cabinet” because he thinks he’s still president is extremely funny. Who’s in this cabinet? The MyPillow Guy and the person who cleans his golf balls?

Donald Trump can’t tell a joke while President Obama can.

When going down the list of recipients for the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2016, President Obama said, “Today, we celebrate extraordinary Americans who have lifted our spirits, strengthened out union, pushed us towards progress. I always love doing this event, but this is a particularly impressive class. We’ve got innovators and artists … public servants, rabble rousers, athletes, renowned character actors, like the guy from ‘Space Jam.” That “guy from Space Jam” was Michael Jordan.

Donald Trump would never have been able to muster the nuance, timing or subtleness to pull off that joke. In fact, Trump probably doesn’t get it. You’d have to explain it.

You see, Donald…there are a bunch of celebrities there and many of them are movie stars. But Michael Jordan is there for his athletic achievements though he did make one movie…and that’s where the joke comes in…oh, never mind. The dog gets it.

Contrast that to when Donald Trump was honoring Navajo veterans of the second world war in the White House. Trump told them, “You were here long before any of us were here. Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas.” For extra humor, Trump told the joke from a podium placed in front of a portrait of Andrew Jackson.“ Trump stood there like Fozzy Bear going, “Ah? Ah? Get it? Pocahontas?” Even if that joke wasn’t racist, it doesn’t work. For one thing, the teller of the shitty old-person joke is older than Elizabeth Warren.

Trump had been on a roll of making racist attacks against Elizabeth Warren and used the event with native Americans to continue his racist attacks. The scary thing is, this joke may have been written for him. If so, probably by Stephen Miller, who is at least funny looking. Also, being a Jewish Nazi isn’t as funny as it is seriously fucked up.

How bad is Donald Trump at getting humor? He was told for months that the Pocahontas shit wasn’t funny and was extremely racist. For Trump, knowing it pissed people off, that was funny. It’s not. It’s like still believing gay and racist jokes are funny.

Even Trump’s staff knew his jokes sucked because they had to explain each of them. Asking Russia to help him win an election? Joke! Him wanting to slow down coronavirus testing? That was another joke. Shooting disinfectant up your ass to fight the coronavirus? Way over the media’s head. The only thing funny with Trump and the virus was when Trump ignored all advice and caught the virus.

It’s funny when shit happens to assholes.

I can understand to a degree why Republicans are so mean and miserable. All they have for humor is Greg Gutfeld, Tim Allen, and Dennis Miller. To be fair, Dennis Miller wasn’t funny when he was a liberal either. Republicans don’t think Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah, or Stephen Colbert are funny. It’s like thinking Jay Leno is funny but Conan O’Brien isn’t. And have you seen conservative political cartoons? There has not been a funny conservative political cartoonist since Jeff MacNelly died. Today, there is not one funny conservative political cartoonist in the nation. Though I have to admit, I think a good portion of the liberal cartoonists are boring too. You can’t be funny when you’re all telling the same joke.

Some of my colleagues often say political cartoons don’t have to be funny. That is true, but the only political cartoonists who harp on about that are the ones who are never funny.

The entire point of Republican humor is the cruelty. If you think conservatives are funny, then you’re probably an asshole.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Covid Rickshaw


CNN08012021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I drew two other cartoons on the coronavirus and vaccines this weekend in addition to this one. I may draw one on vaccine passports tonight.

Do you remember that Devin Nunes Cow twitter account that was newsworthy last year or so? Yeah, that guy…or cow…retweeted this cartoon. That cow retweet got over 700 likes, 200 retweets, and a shit ton of comments with many of them accusing me of…wait for it….fatophobia.

Apparently, I’m being mean to fat people. Can I use the fat-friend defense? Some of my best friends are fat? There are fat people in my family? I’m getting fat?

Here’s the thing, kids. The guy being pulled up the hill is supposed to be heavy. It’s hard to draw a heavy skinny guy. Fact.

Stop being a bunch of fat crybabies. I kid. I kid.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Orders From The Top


Cjones08032021

A couple days ago, a right-wing oafish cartooning colleague of mine tweeted that comparisons between Donald Trump sending his white nationalist terrorists to attack the Capitol in order to overturn a democratically-held election to install him as a fascist dictator and Charles Manson sending his followers to murder nine people, was wrong.

The people who don’t accept the comparison also don’t believe the attack was an insurrection and have a lot of trouble with the word “terrorists.” But the comparisons are valid.

First off, they’re both cults. If you don’t think the comparisons are valid, you’re probably in one of the cults. And if you’re in the Manson Family cult, then you’re probably really offended being compared to a bunch of MAGAts.

There is no evidence Charles Manson ever ordered the murders. There’s no evidence he ever told any of his followers to kill anyone. But he did send them out and they did commit murders, most notably, pregnant actress Sharon Tate.

Charles Manson was found guilty of first degree murder in seven of the killings. The prosecution argued his ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy.

His ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy. That is important to note.

Donald Trump’s ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy which led to the attack on the United States Capitol complex. The people who share his ideology, which is a cult worship of Trump, are still denying it ever happened.

The people who followed Manson and who follow Trump are lunatics. They are cult members.

Donald Trump told his cult to be at the Capitol that day….to come to Washington. He tweeted it was going to be “wild.” His campaign spent $2.7 million to rally the terrorists. Donald Trump told them to march on the Capitol. They carried nooses and other assorted weapons. They brought zip ties. They chanted to hang Mike Pence. They called out for Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff, and Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. They barged in by overrunning the Capitol Police. Five people died.

Charles Manson was not with his followers when they committed the murders. Trump was not with his followers either, but he said he would be. Trump did get to watch it on TV. According to reports, it made him really happy. When asked to call off the terrorists, he refused for hours. Even when he did call them off, he told them that he loved them and they were “very special.” That is a cult. Your cult leader loves you and says you’re “very special.”

Manson told his family he loved them.

Manson was tried by a jury. Trump was tried by the Senate, which was full of his cult members. Manson’s jury didn’t seat any members of his cult. Why? Because that would have been insane and wouldn’t have been a real trial.

There needs to be a real trial for Donald Trump, and as far away from politics as possible. No Trump cultists should be allowed to sit on the jury.

Donald Trump’s ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy. He needs to be tried for that.

By the way, another thing Trump and Manson have in common is they’re both white supremacists.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Roughs, Volume 100


I nearly burned out from all the roughs I drew last week., but I did get a few good things out of them. Check them out.

rough1297

This is the cartoon I drew for CNN and it was one of my faves. I was excited to draw it.

Rough1309

One thing I’ve been sick of over the past few weeks are all the cartoons I’ve seen from my colleagues simply stating covid is at the Olympics. From covid at the medal podiums to petri dishes to being used in sports…they’ve all been the same thing. I even saw one cartoonist mock other cartoonists for putting the covid germ into the Olympic logo and which he followed up by posting a cartoon of the virus at the medal podium. Ooh, clever. And while being sick of them, I took a few shots at it myself for CNN. Thankfully, they didn’t like them either. I did like the artwork of the Rising Sun flag, which I’m shocked no one else did…yet. I think they’re all boring.

Rough1299

I took a shot with this one and didn’t like it at all. Blah. I’m surprised no one else did this one either. It’s boring.

Rough1302

I forgot about this one, even when one of the commenters on my YouTube channel mentioned this exact same idea by another cartoonist. Going through the roughs now reminded me I did it as well. I drew so many boring ideas last week that I forgot about this one. I am so glad I didn’t draw it.

Rough1310

I got this idea while watching the drone show and CNN even approved it…but as I was drawing it, it just wasn’t coming together. It wasn’t clear to anyone what was happening here. I still think the message was boring but that was overruled by my intrigue in the challenge of drawing it.

Rough1311

I tried again and it just wasn’t working out. They looked more like atoms than little tiny drone covids. I bailed on it and went to the Bezos lander cartoon.

Rough1307

I liked this one. It’s more than just stating the corona virus is at the Olympics. I’m always eager to beat up on Republicans, Ron DeSantis, and Florida.

Rough1303

This is the version I went with and sent to my clients. It went after Florida instead of making it just about DeSantis.

Rough1308

I corrected a colleague last week for posting a cartoon that was factually wrong. Meanwhile, this cartoon is wrong. Mitch McConnell has always advocated for the vaccine. But I didn’t intend to actually draw this cartoon. By roughing it out, I was hoping the image of Moscow Cocaine Mitch McTortoise would lead to something good. It didn’t. While Mitch is slow on most thing, he wasn’t on this. But, his party has been extremely slow on it…and they still are.

Rough1306

I like to get really weird in my work. It can be irreverent, unique, original, and interesting. But sometimes it doesn’t work out. The reason this doesn’t work is that readers wouldn’t get it’s not just a flash back cartoon, but a hypothetical flash back cartoon. The Democrats never deflected like the Republicans are now doing. Also, I may have been too much in love with the idea of issuing a subpoena for Mr. Roper.

Rough1305

This one didn’t really have much to do with anything. But it’s always fun to draw Matt Gaetz. I always feel I should have a good reason to make fun of someone instead of making fun of them just because it’s fun. I don’t think enough cartoonists understand cartoons should be more about issues than a personality (some cartoonists are still drawing Trump cartoons that are on nothing except Trump), but it’s a personal rule I’ll occasionally violate when the personality is the issue…or the idea is just too much fun.

Rough1304

This one was OK but I didn’t draw it. After I roughed it out, I heard people make the same analogy, which killed it for me.

Rough1301

I did do a version of this and it was a huge hit on social media. I even sold a couple prints of it.

Rough1300

This was OK. I didn’t love it.

Rough1298

There is a better way of doing this idea. When I start to burn out from drawing roughs, the artwork really starts to deteriorate.

Rough1294

This is the kind of thing I could have had fun with by inventing wackier and wackier Republican conspiracy theories…but I was really tired of drawing this image. I just threw it away.

Rough1295

This was another way of doing the concept with all the speech balloons, and I went for that one. I thought with all the issues, I only had room for one elephant.

Rough1296

I liked this one. Which of these are your favorites? I love your feedback.

There is a video for this collection.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Too Late To Vaccinate


Cjones08022021

I don’t look for confrontations when I go out. I’m not a club person and when I do get a beer in a bar, I usually wanna keep to myself unless I’m hanging out with a friend. My rule for hearing people say stupid shit or make racist comments is: If they’re not talking to me, let it go. If they do address me, then I have a moral responsibility to let them know I don’t accept that shit. Usually when I do this, I try to do it as diplomatically as possible which can be difficult when you are calling someone a racist and when you are me.

There was that time someone said, “So you think you’re better than me because I say the N-word?,” except he didn’t say “N-word.” He said that other word. I replied, “Since I’m not a racist fuck. Yes. Yes, I do think I’m better than you.” For some reason, it went downhill from there.

When it comes to racist comments, if I don’t at least say I’m not down with the racist program, I feel as though I’m betraying everyone in my life who is non-white. I have friends and family members who aren’t white. I don’t want to be two-faced.

When I talked about this on Facebook earlier this week, a conservative said I should question how I look since these MAGAts assume I’m one of them. It’s true. I do look like one of them. I fit the demographic, other than having teeth and not dragging my knuckles. I am a middle-aged white male and 58 percent of us voted for Donald Trump. Of course, I did not.

And it’s not just conservatives who will assume I’m a Trumper. A few weeks ago, I had an online exchange with a fellow liberal cartoonist where we disagreed on something and his readers started calling me a racist. In his readers’ defense, the other cartoonist did lie and claim I said, “Racism doesn’t exist anywhere.” Of course, I’d never say anything close to that but I fit the demographic of someone who would. Sure, maybe his readers could have read what I actually wrote instead of being a bunch of ravenous lemmings going over a cliff for a lie, but that’s how social media works now. Maybe that’s the trade off for benefiting from white privilege my entire life. Most people who look like me won’t even admit white privilege exists. Remember when they wouldn’t admit the coronavirus pandemic didn’t exist? The same people who claim white privilege isn’t a thing also claimed the virus was a hoax.

The people who look like I do began the pandemic lying about it. They claimed it didn’t exist. Then they claimed the numbers of deaths were inflated and fabricated. They claimed it wasn’t worse than the flu. They claimed we didn’t need mask mandates or that we should quarantine. They claimed we didn’t even need to mask up at all. They claimed we shouldn’t shut down. They claimed vaccines don’t work while claiming hydroxychloroquine does. They claim there are tracking devices in the vaccines. They spent a year and a half attacking the people trying to help them. They spent a year and a half attacking Dr. Anthony Fauci and now, they’re claiming he helped create the virus and is a murderer. Seriously. A United States senator has spread this lie.

These lies are killing people. The president (sic) who admitted he played down the virus at the beginning of it should be accused of murder before Dr. Fauci. The “liberate Michigan” people should be accused of murder before Dr. Fauci. Every talking head on Fox News should be accused of murder before the scientists are accused. It’s these people and their lies who are bringing covid back…which is again killing people.

Which brings us back to public confrontations.

I went out last Tuesday to a Mexican restaurant close to my house where I could take advantage of Taco Tuesday and grab a beer while I watched the Olympics. I was sitting at the bar with my street tacos and a beer when this guy, in my demographic, got up to leave, but just as he was leaving, Dr. Fauci appeared on one of the TVs. The guy nudged me and said, “There’s Dr. Mumbler who kills people.” My first reaction was, “What?” I mean, “Dr. Mumbler?” What? The guy said it again. I recovered and replied, “I don’t know who Dr. Mumbler is but that’s Dr. Anthony Fauci who’s is an American hero despite the slanders from fucknuts like you.” Yeah, I don’t think I made a new friend. He didn’t say anything else and got out of there. I told the bartender, “I don’t like that.” She said, “I’ll allow it.” She didn’t like him either.

If that guy made those same comments, but they weren’t directed at me, I would have let it go. But what was I supposed to do, nod and play along? Maybe I could have done it without the “fucknut,” but…I’ll get over it. Perhaps what annoyed me most was him assuming I was like him. Damn this demographic!

That guy was an asshole. The gentleman I talked to yesterday was not.

I took a Lyft to my post office yesterday (there will be a blog later about was waiting for me at the post office). My driver was not wearing a face mask as he was supposed to. In fact, the second Lyft driver I got also was not wearing a face mask. But, the first driver (yes, he was white) started talking about the pandemic and the delta variant. He did not say if he was vaccinated or not and I didn’t ask. But I believe he was not. He said there was no reason to get vaccinated since it wouldn’t protect you from the new variant.

The man didn’t seem like he was an antivaxxer. He didn’t seem as though he was politicizing it. He didn’t seem hateful. But he was ignorant. I told him, as politely as possible (I didn’t want to affect my rating) that the vaccine doesn’t guarantee you won’t catch the coronavirus but it’s very effective against it. It’s very effective against you catching it. And if you do catch it after becoming vaccinated, it’s very effective in making your case mild. The fact is, over 90% of people being hospitalized for covid now are UNVACCINATED. I don’t think I convinced this man because he’s been fed bullshit for a year and a half. The Fox News propaganda is a lot to overcome.

The driver told me he can’t trust scientist because they keep changing the science. Nobody is changing the science. The only thing that changes is the virus. It has changed. That’s what a variant is. Didn’t you watch Loki?

Thanks to that propaganda, only 48% of our nation is vaccinated. Thanks to that propaganda, the delta variant is bringing covid back and increasing hospitalizations again. Thanks to the right-wing bullshit, people are having to be hospitalized. And according to some doctors, that’s when they ask to be vaccinated.

Alix Zacharsk, a nurse at Jackson Health System in Miami (same city where the weird package I received came from) said that when young people infected with covid arrive at her hospital, they ask if they can get vaccinated. Unfortunately, no. You cannot get vaccinated while you’re infected. You can get vaccinated after the infection has run its course.

Dr. Brytney Cobia of Grandview Medical Center in Alabama said a lot of their covid patients who change their minds about vaccinations don’t ever get the chance to be vaccinated.

Dr. Cobia wrote on Facebook, “One of the last things they do before they’re intubated is beg me for the vaccine. I hold their hand and tell them that I’m sorry, but it’s too late.”

She also wrote, “A few days later when I call time of death, I hug their family members and I tell them the best way to honor their loved one is to go get vaccinated and encourage everyone they know to do the same.”

If you’re not infected yet, it’s not too late for you to be vaccinated. Stop being an idiot and get vaccinated. Hell, you can even get vaccinated while bitching about vaccinations. Just don’t tell anyone you got it. That’s what Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump did. They didn’t tell anyone because it didn’t fit their propaganda, but they were sure to save their own asses while not caring about yours.

Donald Trump ignored medical advice and health guidelines and he caught covid. He can thank his ignorance for that. So when the vaccine came about, he made sure to take it because having covid nearly killed him. Yeah, they didn’t tell you that either. But since Donald Trump is a selfish piece of crap, he didn’t tell anyone he received the vaccination. He and Melania took it in secret while President Biden, Vice-President Kamala Harris, and former presidents Jimmy Carter, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama all took it publicly. But maybe Donald Trump wasn’t intending to play down the vaccine and was only concerned that if he took the vaccine on camera, we’d all see his pasty flabby arms.

It’s too late to get the vaccine when they stick a tube down your throat…or you’re put into a hole in the ground.

If you are unvaccinated, politicized the pandemic, and went to war over it, you have lost. Florida governor Ron DeSantis claimed victory before his state started to lead the nation in covid cases. He’s still fighting the war and attacking Dr. Fauci…even though he’s already lost the war.

You lost. It’s time to end your war and politicization of the vaccine. Take the vaccine. Your stupid argument of having the right not to vaccinate is like your right to throw punches. That right ends where my nose begins. Take the vaccine. Don’t be selfish and just do it for yourself. Do it for your friends, family, community, and nation.

That’s the hardest thing to get through to conservatives. They are selfish and they typically only do things for themselves. Maybe if fucknuts on Fox News told them to do it for the greater good, they’d get vaccinated and help their country defeat this virus. Nah, the “greater good” sounds too much like socialism.

Fine, if you won’t do it for your country, do it for yourself. They don’t vaccinate graves.

Creative note: Doug is an Easter egg but only Claytoonz super fans will be able to figure it out.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Covid Picnic


Cjones08012021

A conservative colleague of mine posted a cartoon yesterday stating he did not understand why all of us, including those who are vaccinated, have to return to wearing face masks.

My colleague is not a stupid person. I believe he’s just playing to the stupid base because he knows what side of his stupid bread gets the stupid butter. But let’s pretend he is stupid because you have to be stupid to not understand why we have to go back to wearing face masks.

It’s pretty simple. We have to go back to wearing face masks because of simplistic, whiny, moronic, pathetic, selfish rightwing assholes who have spent the past year and a half attacking science and those who spread facts.

There is no excuse for failing to understand this because the information is readily available and it’s been repeated again and again. Maybe instead of attacking Dr. Fauci on a minute-by-minute basis, you should have been listening to him.

And since you morons were in direct defiance of health guidelines, you have no excuse not understanding why the virus is making a comeback. Surely along the way of screaming about your rights and liberty while describing those who pushed vaccines as tyrannical socialists, you understood what you were railing against.

You were told if you didn’t vaccinate, that you would help the coronavirus survive and even make a comeback. It’s now making a comeback as a new variant. You spent a year and a half making the pandemic a partisan issue and you have finally succeeded. It’s partisan and mostly killing Republicans. Good job, Jackass.

There is no guarantee you won’t catch the coronavirus after you’ve been vaccinated, but your odds of catching it are a lot lower. And if you do get it, your case will probably be very mild. Hospitals are being overburdened again by an influx of patients with over 90 percent of them being unvaccinated. Do you still not understand? Are you being willfully stupid? Two plus two equals…what? I know you can do this.

And the thing is, you did all this out of being selfish. You guys complained about the inconvenience of wearing masks while knowing full well that you don’t wear it to protect yourself, you wear it to protect others. But you were selfish and entitled. A lot of you wouldn’t get the vaccine because you felt it wouldn’t protect you, or you didn’t care if it would protect you. The best reason to be vaccinated isn’t to protect your own selfish stupid ass. The best reason to get the vaccine is to protect others. It’s to defeat this virus. The best weapon this virus has is ignorance. Your ignorance, hate, and selfishness kept it alive and brought it back.

And, you didn’t just refuse to cooperate and be a part of the solution. You attacked those who were being bigger than you. You attacked those who weren’t being selfish asshole babies. You attacked those who were helping the nation while you were trying to destroy it. You even made yourself out to be the victim, claiming society was ostracizing you because you’re an independent thinker, a freedom lover, or whatever stupid shit Tucker told you to say this week. Next, Tucker’s going to tell you that you’re being victimized by being blamed for bringing the virus back.

And when the face mask mandates were lifted, you took advantage of the hard work of others. You screamed that you shouldn’t have to prove you’ve been vaccinated so you could go into crowded places and spread the virus again.

The virus is coming back, forcing us to resume mask mandates and create vaccine mandates (like the one they have at Fox News in the building where Tucker screams against mask mandates). It’s coming back because you’re an asshole. This is all your fault.

Now do you understand?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Racist Putz With Putter


cjones07312021

One of my proofreaders asked if someone actually said the F-word with the N-word about one of the Capitol Police officers victimized in the insurrection by the Trump terrorists. She did not watch the January 6th Hearing this past Tuesday.

Yes. Capitol Police officer Harry Dunn testified before the committee that during the attack, one of the rioters told him they had a right to be in the Capitol because Donald Trump invited them, and that “nobody voted for Joe Biden.” Officer Dunn told the terrorist, who was wearing a pink MAGA shirt, that he voted for Joe Biden. He asked her, “Does my vote not count? Am I nobody?” She replied with, “You hear that, guys, this n***** voted for Joe Biden!”

First off, they claim nobody voted for Joe Biden and it was all election fraud, but when they’re confronted with someone who says he voted for Joe Biden, they want to kill him. For Trump supporters, voting for Joe Biden is a crime while committing an insurrection to destroy our democracy is not.

Dunn testified after the woman called him the N-word, that about 20 members of the crowd started booing and calling him a “fucking N*****.”

CNN ran the entire hearing uncensored. Later, they ran back audio of the segment uncensored. I saw the clip again on CNN and MSNBC where it was censored, but just the F-word. They still let the N-word fly. I find that puzzling because as you see here, I’m way less terrified of the F-word than I am of the N-word. I will drop “fucks” in here all day but I don’t want to quote someone, even in their own context, using the N-word. Fuck that N-word.

I don’t like the N-word and I’m not comfortable with it. An anchor on Newsmax said he refused to believe Dunn’s testimony without audio. Yeah, it’s incredulous that Trump supporters which consists of Nazis, Klansmen, Proud Boys, Oathkeepers and other various white nationalists, would ever say something racist. Why would racists want to support a guy who defends Nazis and calls out Proud Boys? Sheesh.

Of course, if he had personally heard a Trump supporter saying the N-word at a black cop, he would have found a way to claim it wasn’t racist, like the numerous times they had to defend Donald Trump’s racist remarks.

Other conservatives went after the testimony from Dunn and his fellow officers, calling them “crisis actors.” They went after them for whining about being gang-rushed by white nationalist terrorists. Tucker Carlson called Officer Dunn a “left-wing activist.”

That’s how conservative media presents people who are anti-racism and anti-terrorism. Why, they must be “left-wing activists.” The irony here is that they defend the terrorists as “activists” and “tourists” yet, claim being an activist is a bad thing if it’s from the left.

Every single person who defends the mob is a defender and supporter of racists and terrorists. I’m tired of having to say this, but the people who attacked the Capitol were terrorists. If you’re a Trump supporter, they’re your terrorists. Republicans have even made terrorist Ashli Babbit a martyr for being killed while trying to overturn an election and destroy democracy.

If conservatives really want audio to prove how horrible they are, in case footage of January 6 isn’t enough, they can listen to the voicemail left for officer Michael Fanone while he was testifying. In the voicemail, a racist homophobic (listen to it) Trump supporter says, “I wish they would’ve killed all you scumbags.”

Fanone sustained a traumatic brain injury, a heart attack and a concussion during the attack, and has since been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Republicans on Twitter called him a “pussy” for this. Keep in mind, Donald Trump hid in a basement when peaceful black protesters were outside the White House.

Officer Dunn was asked if this is America. He said, “Frankly, I guess it is America. It shouldn’t be. But I guess that’s the way things are.” Trump supporters are racist. That’s the way things are.

Dunn said he and the other officers testifying “represent the good side of America, human decency. We appeal to the good in people.”

Republicans appeal to the worst of us. Donald Trump built his political career appealing to hate. His entire tenure in the White House was a shout-out to racists. He spent four years, and continues to do so, playing to white grievances. This has been the strategy of Republicans since they enacted the Southern Strategy for Barry Goldwaters’ presidential campaign in 1964…and they haven’t looked back since.

Republicans are attacking the people trying to defend the nation from terrorists. Republicans are defending the racist terrorists. If the Oklahoma City bombing happened today, Fox News would be telling you Timothy McVeigh was a tourist who lost the keys to his rental van. Despite the van being full of fertilizer explosives, they’d say he wasn’t “armed” because he didn’t have a gun. Fox News and Timothy McVeigh had that in common…they’re both full of shit.

The real crisis actors are the ones pretending Trump supporters would never say anything racist.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Jerko’s Yurchenko


Cjones07302021

I had to look up a few things yesterday to find out what they are. Things like beach handball. I’m still not sure what handball really is, but whatever it is, the beach version is played on a beach. 

Then I had to look up Charlie Kirk. That sounds familiar. What makes him relevant? He’s a 27-year-old Trump supporter who writes a column for Newsweek. Seriously, Newsweek? Why does Newsweek want to distribute the opinion of a 27-year-old white conservative male without any real-world experience who’s an online college dropout? Leave the racist conspiracy theorists to Breitbart, m’kay? 

But, this Charlie Kirk fucknut also has a fucknut podcast for racist Trump-supporting fucknuts which he used yesterday to attack four-time gold medal winner gymnast Simone Biles for dropping out of the team finals at the Olympics. Kirk, who says white privilege is a racist lie, called her “very selfish,” “immature,” “a shame to our country,” and a “sociopath,” which is a word he probably learned from that online college course. He also said, “We are raising a generation of weak people like Simone Biles.”

Dude, first off, white privilege is real. Look at yourself. You’re an uneducated 27-year-old liar with zero life experience.  You’re a racist fuck who’s also a conspiracy theorist, you have your own podcast, write a column for Newsweek, collect a $300,000 salary from chairing your super PAC, and you bought a $855,000 condo in Longboat Key, Florida. You are the poster baby for white privilege. 

My question to Chucky is..can I call you Chucky? I don’t care. My question for Chucky is: How does being a rich privileged college dropout (online college) give you any credentials to understand what Simone Biles, a young black female athlete who’s been a victim of sexual assault, is going through? White privilege is not having to try to understand different perspectives. 

Chucky, are you a weak person for dropping out of online college? Was it immature of you? Selfish? Hey, I’m a college dropout, too, but after I dropped out, I continued to learn. Listening to your bullshit and reading the huge list of conspiracy theories you’ve spread, you haven’t progressed as a human being since you created your racist PAC for Trump while still in high school.

As I mentioned before, I had to research several things I didn’t know yesterday. I discovered there’s a European Handball Federation. I learned the Olympics doesn’t require any athlete to wear bikini bottoms. I also learned that beach handball is not an Olympic sport but will be in 2024 where they will not be forced to wear bikini bottoms. I’m pointing this out because a lot of people think it was the Olympics who went after the Norwegian Beach Handball Team for wearing regular shorts instead of bikini bottoms. I learned all this after coming up with a brilliant cartoon on the Olympics and bikini bottoms for the Norwegian Beach Handball Team…and then tragically learning the cartoon wouldn’t work because the Olympics had nothing to do with it. The entire bikini brouhaha occurred in Bulgaria, which isn’t even close to Tokyo. 

And then I had to research Matt Walsh.

Who is Matt Walsh? Just another racist fuck. What makes him relevant? Well, he’s not relevant enough to have a Wikipedia page but he is relevant enough to have a podcast and occasionally write for the Huffington Post. Can’t news outlets find conservative voices that aren’t sexist racist entitled white conspiracy theorists? Please? What’s that? There are none? Carry on then.

Matt Walsh isn’t even relevant enough to have a Wikipedia page while there are dogs with Wikipedia pages. But to be fair, dogs are better people than people like Matt Walsh. Matt Walsh was so disgusted by Simone Biles for dropping out, that he went on a tweet rampage attacking her. But to be fair, he probably needed a break from tweeting that real men don’t share emojis or cry in public. 

But how upset was he over Simone Biles? He must have felt her dropping out was a personal attack against his manhood (defending manliness is kind of his jam), that he tweeted about her over 30 times. It may have been over 50 but many of his tweets aren’t coherent so it’s hard to tell what he’s ranting about. Simone Biles, emojis, crying men, looking at another man’s wiener at the urinals, brown M&Ms, who knows?

He said Simone was being “selfish” and a “disgrace.” He criticized people who mentioned she was a survivor of sexual assault and claimed people were “inventing excuses on her behalf.” Since he claimed she quit only because she was “sad,” what gives him the right to invent reasons? Matt Walsh is a white male, probably at least in his mid to late 30s (from his photo, I’m being kind), but I can’t be sure since he doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. Also, this guy obsessed with constantly proclaiming his manliness literally has a beard. It’s a known fact that gays don’t have beards. If you ever start to feel some gayness coming on, like your penis moved while seeing Jonathan Van Ness in the Uber Eats commercial with Simone Biles, you can nip it in the bud (only bud nip in a manly platonic way without penetrating fingers) by growing a beard. 

I also had to look up Clay Travis and Buck Sexton. Who are they? They’re a pair of right-wing talk show hosts. They’re like a tag team of stupid. They said, “The blue checks have already rallied to Simone Biles’s defense and said, ‘Oh, it’s so brave.’ Why is this brave? What’s brave about not being brave? Cause that’s what we’re talking about here. This is ‘Oh, you didn’t stand up to the bully?’ So to speak… No, I think that’s the not brave move.” Which one of them said which parts of that exchange? It doesn’t matter. Also, both of these guys have beards. Do you know who doesn’t have beards? Dogs. Fact: Dogs don’t care if you call them gay.

And then there’s Piers Morgan. Oh, you know this is going to be good. Piers, who was rejected by Meghan Markle years ago and then mocked her for claiming racism in Buckingham Palace and for considering suicide, had some opinions on Simone Biles. Oh goody.

Piers tweeted, “Are ‘mental health issues’ now the go-to excuse for any poor performance in elite sport? What a joke. Just admit you did badly, made mistakes, and will strive to do better next time. Kids need strong role models not this nonsense.”

I just researched this and discovered Australian comedian Jim Jefferies has never been a Make-a-Wish kid, but somehow he was still given the wish-come-true of going on national television and telling Piers Morgan to his face to “fuck off.”

I also just researched and discovered John Daniel Davidson, editor of The Federalist and avid scarf wearer, does not have a medical degree (I had to get that from his LinkedIn page as he also doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. Again, dogs, people). Despite being less qualified than Dr. Pepper to diagnose mental health, John Daniel Jingleheimer Schmidt Fucknut Mcscarfy Davidson wrote, “Biles doesn’t suffer from a specific mental illness” and that she’s not “mentally tough.”

But how do these right-wing asshats know she’s not mentally tough? How do they know what she’s going through? How can any of these men, most of them having wealth stacked on top of their white privilege, relate to a young black female who is a victim of a sexual assault? 

Do these armchair warriors understand that gymnastics is actually physically dangerous? I too am guilty of watching sports I only see competed every four years, and then shouting at the TV as if I know what’s going on, but I know I can’t do what I’m watching on TV. I know that, if I got on a skateboard, instead of winning a gold medal like 13-year-old Momiji Nishiya, I’d probably only win a broken leg. Even Olympic table tennis (ping pong) looks physically dangerous to me. I can understand the pressure of a CNN deadline, but I have never faced the pressure of doing a Yurchenko Double Pike Vault on national television with the weight of my team and nation on my shoulders. Also, I have never been a black girl or black woman. This can be proven by looking at the photo on my Wikipedia page (which some dog probably made). 

I think if you’re going to go off in a hateful manner, maybe consider where they are coming from instead of assuming everyone was born with your white privilege. The fact Simone Biles went public about a sexual assault proves she’s tougher than these white conservative privileged men. None of them has ever done anything as tough as that. 

Some of these talking fuckheads claim Simone wouldn’t be receiving praise for removing herself and being honest about her anxieties if she was a man. But would these manly men be attacking Simone if she wasn’t a black female? 

I think before these privileged white men can criticize Simone Biles, they first have to flawlessly perform a Yurchenko Double Pike Vault. Until then, as Jim Jefferies would say, fuck off. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: