Political Cartoons

Sign Your Name


cjones04012017

One of the big questions being overlooked concerning Representative Devin Nunes running to the White House to wash Donald Trump’s balls is: Who let him in?

Let’s catch up: Nunes is the chairman of the House committee investigating whether the Trump campaign coordinated with the Russians or not (hell yeah they did). Last week he received a hot tip from an anonymous source that members of the Trump transition were caught inadvertently in surveillance operations that were targeting foreign spies. For some reasons Russian spies like to talk to members of the Trump team. A lot. This hot info would supposedly vindicate Trump’s lie that Obama spied on him.

To acquire this information Nunes apparently needed to view it in a safe room. They have these in Washington and they’re called “Sensitive Compartment Information Facilities,” or a “SCIF.” These rooms meet very strict security standards, unless that room in the White House and the Russian spies are the ones who are letting you use it.

Nunes ditched his staff, he switched cars, and ran to the White House with this hot lead. The next day he returned to the White House to inform the Trump people all about it. He neglected to inform members of his committee and still refuses to tell the co-chair, who is a Democrat.

The first question is: Did the lead come from the White House? Did Steve Bannon or Jared Kushner inform Nunes of this tip? Maybe we would know if we knew who signed Nunes into the White House. Did someone from the White House give Nunes this information so that he would give Trump cover? Why did Nunes need to use the SCIF at the White House since there are others in D.C., even one available for the House Intelligence Committee.

The White House, specifically Sean Spicer, says it’s possible that Nunes came to the White House without any members of the administration knowing. That’s bull puckey. It’s impossible for Nunes to get into the White House, less enough a SCIF, without being escorted by someone with an official White House badge. I seriously doubt the head chef let him in. He would also need access to the White House computer system to acquire the information he claims he has. You’re not getting on my computers without a password so I seriously doubt there’s public access on a White House computer. It’s not the public library open to hobos.

So who let Nunes in? Do you remember all those conservative memes and people on the internet bitching about the amount of times Al Sharpton visited the Obama White House? Do you know how they know how many times Sharpton visited? Because those visits were public information. Since Trump has taken over, all White House visits have become confidential information. Why? Spicer says he needs to look into it, which would take a minute. It’s been days and we still don’t know.

The House inquiry is toast. It’s impossible to have a non-partisan investigation when the chairman, Nunes, was a member of the Trump transition. How deep can the committee investigate when the chair won’t share his information with his colleagues?

Nunes needs to step aside. He asked “why should I step aside?” Uh, because you’re compromised, dude. Nunes has briefed the president on information he’s not sharing with his committee. He’s canceling hearings with witnesses. He’s made statements in the past that Trump shouldn’t be investigated. We might as well let Chris Christie head the investigation at this point. Maybe Sean Hannity is available to look into it.

Thankfully there’s another investigation in the Senate, where they do take things a bit more seriously. The FBI is also investigating and who knows who else. What are the NSA and CIA up to?

Nunes’ presence in the White House is just one of several that bothers me. Too many members of the Trump administration are coming off as Putin moles.

When we elected Trump we might as well have handed the keys to Putin.

Creative notes and stuff: Sign Your Name is a bad-ass song from Terance Trent D’Arby released in the late 1980s. I can actually pull off a pretty decent cover of it on my acoustic guitar. Sheryl Crow has done a cover and I seriously recommend that you never ever listen to that version. It’s the suck. She took all the soul and funk out of it.

The Russian lettering on the mat was fun. That took some research.

Several months ago a friend asked me about drawing Putin shirtless. I told him I wasn’t doing it as it was becoming a cliche. I’ve changed my mind on that. It is a bit of a cliche but if I put him in a suit then I’d have to label him. With his shirt off everyone knows who he is. Plus, it’s more ridiculous and will probably make me more prone to be attacked by Russian hackers. I also hope they don’t mess with my food. I hear they’re into that.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

 

 

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Shaking With Spicy


cjones03312017

A lot of journalists have pity and sympathy for White House Spokesman Sean Spicer. He has to be confronted by the national press corps on a daily basis and defend lies and crazy crap.

Sure. You can have some sympathy for people who work for Donald Trump. You’re surrounded by a lot of creepy people. But it’s probably not so much of a problem if you’re a creeper yourself. No one with any personal ethics or morals would be willing to work for Donald Trump.

I don’t have any sympathy for Spicer. Nobody is forcing him to give up his dignity for this horse shit. His very first press conference only covered the size of the inauguration, and the entire ordeal was lie after lie. It was a litany of bullshit. That’s all we’ve had ever since.

When asked who cleared Congressman Devin Nunes (chairman of the committee investigating Trump’s connections with Russia) to enter the White House, Spicer acted as if he was totally ignorant on the procedure for entering the White House. He gave this performance from inside the White House. It’s not like just anyone without any good reason can walk into the…oh never mind. I’ve forgotten about the knuckleheads who are there presently.

During Tuesday’s presser Sean Spicer denied that the White House sought to block former-acting attorney general Sally Yates from testifying before Nunes’ committee. This despite The Washington Post having the letters that proved the Trump administration did indeed seek to block her from testifying (this is why you need to subscribe to a real newspaper, people).

During the press conference Spicer lost his cool and went after American Urban Radio Networks reporter April Ryan. He disagreed with her assessment that Trump has a Russia problem. He said they didn’t, and that the press “has the Russia problem” and during this exchange, he told Ryan to stop shaking her head.

First off, you do have a Russia problem. An FBI, Congressional, and Senate investigations says so. Plus, everyone in your administration has some weird tie to Russian diplomats, ambassadors, oligarchs, and gangsters. Second, how dare you talk down to an adult working in a professional capacity like that. This is the White House press room, not kindergarten. It’s not her job to pander to you.

Some compared Spicer’s treatment of Ryan, who is black, to the ludicrous racist crap Fox News talking head Bill O’Reilly did the other day. While airing footage of Representative Maxine Waters he compared her hair to a James Brown wig. His defense that it wasn’t racist is that he likes James Brown. Also, according to conservative logic you’re not a racist if your jam is “When Doves Cry.” All that racist crap makes conservatives feel good.

Unlike O’Reilly, Spicer wasn’t being racist. He was simply being a dick. He’s treated everyone in the press corps like that except for correspondents for outlets like Breitbart.

Another great line that came out of the presser was when Spicer said “If the president puts Russian salad dressing on his salad tonight, somehow that’s a Russian connection.” I seriously doubt the president eats salads.

Hey look. I made it through a post about Sean Spicer without referencing The Thompson Twins’ “Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah.” Oh crap.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Hating On Leggings


cjones03302017

I’ve been led to believe that leggings are very comfortable. What are leggings? Women know but I’ll inform the guys. They’re spandex or spandex-like. They’re stretchy. It seems to me they’re a cross between sweat pants and tights. I suppose they’re more acceptable to wear out in public than pajama bottoms.

A big brouhaha erupted this week when United Airlines denied some girls from boarding a flight because they were wearing leggings. A lot of people got upset. Some said it was an attack on women. Others said it was an attack on common sense. Many celebrities got involved. Seth Rogen tweeted and that is one person I do not need a vision of wearing leggings.

United didn’t help their cause when they explained their policy with “we’re an airline and you’re not.” No, that was Donald Trump’s tactic regarding a question. United said “that the airline has “the right to refuse transport for passengers who are barefoot or not properly clothed.”

They later stated that the teens were “pass riders,” otherwise known as family or friends of an airline company employee who travel at a discounted rate, so they’re expected to follow the same dress codes as employees. Leggings are welcome if you’re a regular customer and nobody will get all snooty up in your business over it. How in the hell do you even notice if people are wearing leggings? They’re so common I think I would have missed it.

Delta Airlines, not shy for the opportunity to bash a rival, tweeted “Flying Delta means comfort. (That means you can wear your leggings.)” They even included a winking emoji.

Puma, a clothing company, is trying to get a “leg” up on the controversy and they’re offering 20% off on leggings to anyone with a past or present ticket from United Airlines.

A lot of people choose which airline they want and often times it’s over politics, policy, baggage fees, etc. I have never chosen an airline in my life. I’ve always let the market tell me who I’m flying with, or my past employers have chosen. I’ve always gone with whoever offered the lowest price at the moment. I assure you my former newspaper employer in Virginia did the same thing. Those fuckers put me in a Best Western when they flew me in on my job interview and on the flight back, I swear I was in a folding chair on top of the engine. And that was 1997 when newspapers had gobs of money.

And don’t get me started on those turbulence-magnet Buddy Holly killing planes.

Creative Notes: I decided to grab at this issue as it’s NOT on Donald Trump or even politics. I have clients who want me to throw these in every now and then. I don’t mind taking a break from politics too. The important thing to me is that I’m not going to stop covering the important issues the way I see best.

The flight attendant in this cartoon is inspired by Dave Grohl’s portrayal of one in the Foo Fighters’ Learn To Fly video.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Raiding The Raiders


cjones03292017

When I was a kid I didn’t follow football until about the fourth grade. That was when I signed up for flag football and I was a wide receiver and assigned the number 21. After being given that number I watched Monday Night Football and there was Cliff Branch, #21, playing his butt off for the Oakland Raiders. So I became a Cliff Branch and Oakland Raiders fan.

And then I went on with my life and didn’t follow football for many years. When I came back to it I became a Saints fan, as I was in Louisiana and that’s who all my friends liked. It enabled me to praise and complain about the same stuff my friends were talking about, other than beer, cops hassling us, the newest Def Leppard album, and parking on the levee. I’ll always be a Saints fan as it’s home, but I still have a soft spot for the Raiders.

I think one thing that burned me off from the Raiders was that by the time I came back to football the Raiders were moving to Los Angeles. Then I moved to L.A. and I was following the Saints (who were having their first really good year as they were going to the playoffs for the first time in their existence…where they lost to the Vikings in the first round. I think it was the Vikings. Stupid Vikings). A few years later the Raiders moved back to Oakland. Now they’re moving to Las Vegas.

This is what NFL teams do. They milk their fan base and community for all the money they can get. They expect loyalty while exhibiting none. The Raiders will remain in Oakland for three more seasons and will expect the city to support them while waiting for their shiny new stadium to be constructed in the desert.

Just about every team in the NFL, except the Packers (which is the NFL’s only publicly owned team), has threatened to move. Usually they scare their local communities and hold them hostage until they buy a millionaire/billionaire football team owner a new stadium. If they don’t then that team moves to another city hungry for the NFL and eager to be taken for a ride.

For years the NFL was afraid of Las Vegas. Professional football players have an easy enough time getting in trouble without being in Nevada where gambling and Prostitution is legal. But with gambling available online and in other locations in the country, Vegas doesn’t seem as scary. Besides, can players for the Raiders get into more trouble in Vegas than players for the Cowboys find in Dallas? Granted, there is more trouble to get into in those two cities than say, Green Bay. I haven’t heard of any cow-tipping scandals occurring with Packers.

But since we’re going to Vegas, wanna bet?

Creative notes and stuff: My first idea was to draw a person labeled “Oakland” playing the slots and getting nothing but lemons. What would be more accurate would be the owner Mark Davis giving them the finger. But I decided against the slots idea as I know another cartoonist(s) will end up drawing it. So instead of slots I inserted a slut.

That will probably keep this cartoon out of USA Today and several other family-friendly newspapers.

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

When You’re Ba-a-a-a-ad At Your Job


cjones03282017

Say what you will about Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, but she knows how to do her job. The Democratic Party worked on the bill for the Affordable Care Act for over a year. When it came time to vote it passed without one Republican House member’s support. Pelosi, Speaker of the House at the time, herded enough Democrats to pass the bill without any single Republican vote.

Paul Ryan is not good at his job.

As Speaker of the House Ryan shoved a huge tax cut bill for the rich disguised as a healthcare law through the House in two weeks. Despite having the kind of majority where he could pass the bill without any Democrats, he still failed.

He couldn’t convince moderate Republicans to strip health coverage from over 20 million Americans. He couldn’t make the bill mean enough to convince his most rabid heartless members, the so-called “Freedom Caucus.” Not one Democrat supported the bill so naturally Trump blamed the bill’s failure on Democrats. Then he blamed the Freedom Caucus. Tomorrow he’ll probably blame Obama.

Ryan, previously regarded as a policy wonkish king of guy, didn’t seem to understand the finer aspects of the bill while he campaigned for it. Donald Trump seemed to understand it even less. The biggest reason they could give for supporting it was that it wasn’t Obamacare. Unfortunately for them, RyanCare, or TrumpCare, only had 17% support from the public. While Obamacare has its critics and flaws, it’s polling a hell of a lot higher than 17%.

Paul Ryan pulled the bill to avoid suffering an embarrassing defeat. Their plan now is to dismantle Obamacare piece by piece to prove to the public it’s not a good system, even if it takes them having to throw monkey wrenches into it. The public doesn’t want that. The public wants Obamacare improved, especially in regards with single-payer.

Some people argued that the Republicans wouldn’t allow a bad bill to pass, unlike the Democrats did with Obamacare. No. what the Republicans proved is that they’ve spent the past eight years being the party of “no” without any real plans of their own. They spent seven years telling us how bad Obamacare is. They voted repeatedly to repeal the law. Now that they have the power to repeal it and replace it with what Trump promised, “something better,” they failed to come through.

The party of No doesn’t know how to lead. It’s not debatable that they ever had a workable plan to replace Obamacare. On top of all that, Trump and Ryan has a party that’s not afraid of them.

Paul Ryan is a shepherd whose about to be eaten by his flock. How much do you want to bet Trump feeds him to the flock to save his own skin?

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Smell Ya’ Later


cjones03272017

Breaking news! There is no such things as TrumpCare. TrumpCare does not exist and it never will.

Why did “repealing and replacing” Obamacare fail? The first reason is that Donald Trump is a bad president. We’ve had plenty of bad presidents in the past but this one is also an idiot. A spectacular one at that.

Regarding TrumpCare, he didn’t care. Over the past few weeks, and it was only a few weeks versus a year to pass Obamacare, Trump never talked about how TrumpCare worked. How many times did you hear Trump talk about the details of the Republican health plan? Maybe once? Maybe twice? Try never. You never did. His biggest argument, along with all of the GOP, was that Obamacare was a disaster. You spent seven years telling us Obamacare was a disaster but he couldn’t sell his own plan, or Ryan’s plan. His answer was to promote a plan that only had 17% support from the American public.

The Republicans spent seven years trying to repeal Obamacare. By the time they finally had the House, Senate, and the White House, they didn’t know what to do with it and they failed to keep their promise. The GOP has a 40 plus advantage in the House yet they still couldn’t repeal and replace Obamcare. For seven years they failed to offer an alternative to Obamacare. As it turns out, they never had one. Now when they bash Obamcare in the future it’ll be pointed out to them that they don’t have a plan that can pass.

Donald Trump told us he would repeal and replace Obamacare. He said he’d drain the swamp. He said he’d ban Muslims from entering the country. He told us we can’t have a president who’s under an FBI investigation. Now that he’s been president for two months Trump has stocked the swamp with Nazi alligators, Obamacare is here to stay for the indefinite future, his Muslim ban has been knocked down in court….TWICE, and he is under an FBI investigation for treason. Trump has proven to be a total fraud within his first two months. Why the hell is he here if he can’t deliver on any of his promises?

You didn’t close the deal, Donald. You told us you were the closer. You told us only you could save it. You said it was easy to make deals. There’s a book with your name on it called “The Art Of The Deal.” You didn’t even write that book. As it turns out, healthcare is hard. Who knew? Everybody knew except for you, Donald. Too bad not enough people knew you were a fraud.

The art of a Trump deal is he promises something better. He threatens people in his own party which turns out to be a weak threat when you’re a proven liar and your credibility has sunk to leave you with an approval rating lower than gonorrhea. After his threats didn’t work his strategy was to warn that letting it die put Obamacare on their shoulders, plus they’d be responsible for keeping Planned Parenthood funded (that was part of this brilliant “healthcare” plan). After it finally failed he blamed Democrats. Wait, what?

The Republicans didn’t ask the Democrats for help. They pushed this against them. They said they didn’t need the Democrats. They didn’t write the bill with them, didn’t negotiate with them, didn’t offer them anything. So it’s their fault the bill died? That’s like saying it’s the pigs fault the big bad wolf couldn’t blow their house down. If you want to eat a crap sandwich and I refuse to help you, it’s not my fault when you hurl.

A narcissist is never wrong. They can’t admit defeat. They can’t admit mistakes. They also don’t learn from their mistakes. Trump has stumbled and messed up again and again. Bill Clinton lost a healthcare battle and it hammered his presidency and he lost the House. He learned from it and went on to serve two terms where even an impeachment couldn’t remove him from office.

Obama spent a year working on the Affordable Care Act. The Democrats weren’t united entirely on it. That took a lot of work. They didn’t try to pass a bill with a 17% approval rating within two months of taking office. The Republicans complained that Obamacare was made in backroom deals behind locked doors and it was passed before anyone could read it. To counter that Paul Ryan crafted a deal behind closed doors that no one was allowed to read.

Donald Trump doesn’t have the political talent of Bill Clinton or Barack Obama. Donald Trump is not an intelligent person. He’s president because there’s a very large number of Americans who don’t consider racism a deal killer.

TrumpCare was written by people who don’t care about health care. It was written by people who don’t care about other people except for wealthy people. TrumpCare was written to provide tax breaks for the richest two percent of Americans while knocking 24 million other Americans off health care coverage. That’s the undercurrent of why TrumpCare failed. Even the racist Freedom Caucus in the House couldn’t swallow that, or at least not enough of them to pass the bill. Even if it had passed the House it still had the Senate to get through.

So why did TrumpCare fail? Trump is bad at his job and he’s an amateur president. Paul Ryan is bad at his job too. It was a bad and selfish policy. The biggest reason it failed though is that it moved people to fight it. Not rich people. Real people. People stormed town halls and offices of congressmen and senators. Even representatives in red districts had to face the backlash. They had to hear personal testimonies and see their faces. The people said no. They took the power out of Trump’s hands. The Resistance resisted and won.

Now Trump has less capital to push Gorsuch into the Supreme Court. He has much less to build the stupid wall. Hey, I’m sure that budget plan will just sail right through. The good news for The Resistance is that this president is weaker. If he fails with his next proposal he won’t be able to pass anything through Congress that threatens our nation.

Ha Ha!

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Putin Them Out The Window


cjones03262017

People who oppose Russian President Vladimir Putin have a tendency to wind up dead, or seriously hurt. Maybe they’re just clumsy and naturally fall out of fourth story windows.

First off, the guy’s got the same name as “Vlad The Impaler,” the psychopath who was the inspiration for Dracula.

Putin hasn’t impaled anyone on spikes or bitten anyone on the neck yet, as far as we know, but many do turn up dead. Or maybe in Russia, they’re deadniks.

Denis Voronenkov, a critic of Putin who sought asylum in the Ukraine was shot dead in broad daylight Thursday in Kiev.

Boris Nemtsov (of course one of these guys would be named “Boris”) led massive rallies against Putin in Moscow. He was arrested several times until he was finally shot four times in the back, outside the Kremlin, in 2015. The killer remains at large.

Boris Berezovsky (OK. Maybe they’re all named “Boris”) was found dead inside a locked bathroom at his home in the United Kingdom, a noose around his neck, in what was at first deemed a suicide. Later the coroner couldn’t determine the cause of death. Berezovsky had accused the Putin government of poisoning another critic.

That critic was Alexander Litvinenko who was poisoned in 2009. He was a former intelligent agent who turned whistle blower. Ain’t blowing no whistles no more.

Stanislav Markelov and Anastasia Baburova were both shot outside the Kremlin in 2009. Markelov was a human rights lawyer known for representing Chechen civilians in human rights cases again the Russian military. Baburova was a journalist. The government blamed Nazis but I don’t think Steve Bannon was even in the country at the time.

Markelov represented Anna Politkovskaya, who was a journalist who had written articles critical of Putin. She was killed in 2006.

Sergei Magnitsky was a lawyer who was beaten to death in prison in 2009.

Natalya Estemirova, another journalist, who investigated abductions and murders that had become commonplace in Chechnya. She was kidnapped, shot several times, once at point-blank-range to the head, and her body dumped in the woods. They never caught the bad guys.

Anna Politkovskaya was another reporter and had written a book titled “Putin’s Russia” which accused him of turning Russia into a police state. She was shot in an elevator in her apartment building.

Sergei Yushenkov had just registered an opposition party when he was gunned down outside his home in Moscow in 2003.

Yuri Shchekochikhin was a journalist covering crime and corruption. He died of “mysterious” causes in 2003. His medical documents were deemed classified by Russian authorities.

Let’s not forget the feminist punk band Pussy Riot. Three members of the group were sent to prison on charges of “hooliganism” after performing songs critical of Putin and accusing him of being a dictator. That would be the equivalent of George W. Bush throwing Green Day in prison for their album “American Idiot.” But this is America. Prison here is having to listen to Green Day.

Just about every Russian connected to the hacking story has fled the United States and are safely, supposedly, back in Russia. You have to remember, Putin has a style of leadership Donald Trump has expressed admiration for.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.