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Unconstitutional Slop


cjones08142020

“We don’t want to continue to watch people signing executive orders because that was not what the Constitution and the brilliant designers of this incredible document had in mind. We need people that can make deals.”

That’s a direct quote from Donald Trump in March 2016. In fact, all Republicans were critical of President Barack Obama’s use of executive orders. They accused him of being an imperial president.

Fun fact: Donald Trump was also critical of President Obama’s handling of the Swine Flu, Ebola Virus, and how often he played golf. Donald Trump said President Obama should resign over his handling of Ebola, which killed zero Americans who contracted it while in the U.S. It’s estimated the Swine Flu killed over 12,000 Americans. In case you’re a Republican, the Trump Virus has killed over 163,000 Americans and Donald Trump still hasn’t resigned.

But being hypocrites is nothing new for Donald Trump or the Republican Party.

Unable to reach a deal with Democrats to help Americans get through the pandemic after their $600 a week unemployment benefits have run out and to save them from evictions, Donald Trump signed an executive order…but wait.

Didn’t Donald Trump tell us he’s a great negotiator? Didn’t he say nobody can negotiate better than him? Didn’t he say negotiating with Congress and other nations was easy? Didn’t he say something about being such a great negotiator that we’ll get tired of winning? So, why was he unable to reach a deal with Democrats? Why did he give up? But wait again.

Donald Trump, this great negotiator, never negotiated. Sure, he sent underlings to negotiate with Nancy Pelosi, but didn’t we elect him for his negotiating skills? We didn’t elect him to delegate that responsibility to Pete Navarro, Larry Kudlow, Mark Meadows, Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, Stephen Goosesteppin’ Miller, or even dumbass Jared. We (as in other people, I didn’t elect him), elected Trump for his great negotiating skills? So, why wasn’t he negotiating before deciding to be an “imperial” president?

The thing is, he’s not a great negotiator and he’s scared of Nancy Pelosi. Remember when Donald Trump shut down the government over wall funding? Pelosi gave him some funding for his racist and useless wall, but he wanted more. After a month of the government being shut down, Donald Trump negotiated himself into getting nothing. Donald Trump, this great negotiator, negotiated himself from getting something into getting nothing. Pelosi ate his lunch and she was going to do it again. Donald Trump is signing executive orders because he’s afraid of Nancy. He should be.

One of Donald Trump’s executive orders says unemployed Americans will now receive $400 a week. You can also look at this as a reduction because it is. In case you’re a Republican, 4 is less than 6. Also, $100 of that is supposed to come from states. In case you’re a Republican, the president can’t tell states how to spend their budgets. Also, presidents don’t control spending. Congress allocates spending. It’s in the Constitution.

I love that Republicans call themselves Constitutionalists except when it actually comes to the Constitution.

Also, Donald Trump has cut the payroll tax except, he didn’t. It’s like when he banned flights from China when he didn’t.

In case you’re a Republican, I’m going to explain how this works. 7% of your paycheck goes to Social Security and Medicare. Your employer matches it. In case you’re a Republican, 7 plus 7 equals 14. What Trump did with this was not a cut but a deferral. What does that mean, Republicans? That means you don’t have to pay that tax now but you will later. In fact, you’ll probably have to pay all the weeks missed at once. When that hits you, remember Donald Trump did it.

The idea here is, stupid Americans will notice a larger paycheck between now and November, say, “Golly gee willikins, Mr. Trump gave me more money. I’m going to vote for him because I’m a dumbass.” And then after November, wham! The bill hits. Then, those stupid Trump voters will say, “Damn you, Nancy!” Or, if Joe Biden is president, those fuckers will blame him. Seriously, that’s going to happen. Watch.

Fortunately, some employers will continue to withhold that money so when the bill does come in, you won’t be hit or even have to worry about it.

But I am looking forward to Donald Trump running on the message that he’s going to destroy Social Security and Medicare. He’s already running a campaign promising to strip Americans of healthcare coverage.

Not all Republicans were hypocrites about Trump’s executive orders. Ben Sasse of Nebraska called it “executive slop.” In case you’re a Republican, Ben Sasse is a Republican.

Donald Trump thinks this is the kind of stuff that makes him a great president. Why, he even called the Governor of South Dakota to inquire how to get his head on Mount Rushmore, not realizing the monument is a federal thing and governors can’t do anything with them. Frankly, I’m surprised he called the right state, and right now, Ron DeSantis isn’t trying to figure out how to put Trump on Rushmore.

There should be a monument for Donald Trump. A monument for really bad presidents. We’re talking about the worst here and not just the semi lazy. A monument for presidents who didn’t know what to do, were clueless, shouldn’t have been in the office, and even those who refused to do the job they were installed by a Russian dictator to do (actually, he’s doing those jobs).

I can see Trump’s head next to Filmore, Harding, Hoover, Buchanan, Nixon, and George W. Bush. To make it more realistic, we can make Trump’s head bigger than the rest.

We can call it Mount Suckmore.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Bikers For Trump Virus


cjones08132020

The annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally kicked off this week in South Dakota and there are fears the event will be a “superspreader” event for the Trump Virus.

Sturgis is a small town with a population of around 7,000. The biker rally has brought between 500,000 to 700,000 people to Sturgis in the past though this year, it’s estimated to be much smaller at around 250,000.

Even though Donald Trump’s Tulsa hate rally was a disappointment of 6,000 attendees when they were expecting 100,000, that’s still too high of a crowd to be mingling in during a pandemic. Ask Herman Cain. The 250,000 currently in Sturgis is even worse as masks and social distancing are not required. In case you’re a Republican, 250 is greater than 6.

Apparently, most bikers are conservative in their politics. I think it’s safe to assume any attending Sturgis this week are pro-Trump. They’re not wearing masks or practicing social distancing and they’re at a huge rally during a pandemic. Do they believe the virus is overblown and not as dangerous as scientists claim? According to the founder of Bikers For Trump, yes.

Chris Cox, the founder of the organization for stupid people who ride motorcycles, referred to the pandemic as a “plan-demic” organized by the “left” to sink the economy and hurt Donald Trump.

Talking to Boris Sanchez on CNN Saturday night, Cox said, “A lot of predictions have been made. There were predictions that over 5% of the people that caught this would actually die when actually it’s less than 1%. We’ve have to mitigate these predictions and put them in perspective, and a lot of us believe this might be a ‘plan-demic’ as opposed to a pandemic and I for one am one of them.”

He went on to say the virus is “being blown out of proportion” and “polarized by the left because of the simple fact they would like mail-in ballots and that might be the only chance they have of beating our president (sic) if they have an opportunity to maybe cheat a little bit.”

There’s the first stupid right-wing talking point: Mail-in ballots being used to “cheat a little bit.” The fact is, there is no evidence of widespread voter fraud with mail-in ballots and this nation has been doing it since the Civil War. The other horrifying fact for Republicans it that the higher the turnout, the worse Republicans do.

Stupid Bikers For Trump guy also said, “I think this is planned by the left to sink this amazing economy that our president has built greater than anyone else and that these numbers are being just exaggerated across the board.”

There’s the second stupid right-wing talking point: Trump built this “amazing” economy. First off, the economy we have right now, it is amazing and Donald Trump did build it…or more to the point, he destroyed it. It’s amazing how horrible it’s doing. But the economy Mr. Cox is probably talking about is the one before the pandemic that Donald Trump inherited from President Barack Obama.

He also pushed a third right-wing talking point, that a lot of people were dying from other causes yet doctors and coroners were falsifying their death certificates to claim they died from the Trump Virus.

Here’s my favorite part from the Biker For Trump dude: When asked about a specific “nefarious organization” planning the virus, instead of saying something realistic, like “no,” Cox said, “I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I need to see hard evidence before I am able to ascertain an answer for that.” Then, after stating he’s not a conspiracy theorist, he claimed he knew a doctor in South Carolina who sent in a clear swab “and it came back he was positive.” He also claimed he knew people who got tired of waiting in line for a test so they left, and later it was reported they tested positive.

This non-conspiracy theorist was pressed by Sanchez to supply the doctor’s name and contact information, and for further details about people who didn’t test but were later told they were positive after the interview. Sanchez even offered for him to take that information to another news organization like Fox News. I’m going to let you guess how that turned out. I’ll give you a hint: It didn’t.

Another fun lie from Cox: He claimed there are more women in leadership positions in this administration than ever before.

Once again, we can’t get anyone on television promoting Trump without lying. This Cox guy lied his biker balls off. Once again, you can’t find anyone supporting Donald Trump isn’t batshit crazy or stupid.

I don’t think Sanchez anticipated getting a conspiracy theorist on his show. Cox is the leader of a pro-Trump organization and a former Congressional candidate. But Sanchez did an excellent job of shooting down the bullshit. You can argue these loons shouldn’t be given airtime for their lies, but you can also argue that since Fox News and OANN are giving it to them, then the other networks should invite them on to debunk their lies and conspiracy theories.

But in case Chris Cox, the founder for Bikers For Trump is reading this: Mr. Cox, you are a conspiracy theorist and you are relying on lies to support your confirmation bias. What you are doing is dangerous. I hope I never see you spreading your bullshit on TV ever again. Peddle your stupid ass home and shut up.

Bikers like to say they take risks every time they ride. Riding a motorcycle is dangerous, even if you’re a great rider. Now, they say they’re willing to take risks with the Trump Virus. But, once again, they’re not just risking their lives. They’re risking everyone’s lives. And they’re risking all our lives by supporting Donald Trump, who’s allowed the Trump Virus to kill over 162,0000 Americans.

The biker rally will last ten days. Very few people will show signs of the Trump Virus while they’re in Sturgis. But wait a few days and we’ll start seeing signs across the country and read news reports about how someone who tested positive was at Sturgis…and then he droves across the country.

These people are risking a lot of lives for their politics. They’re risking lives for Donald Trump, lies, and conspiracy theories. Herman Cain did the same thing. Ask him how that worked out.

Bikers For Trump are just like all organizations for Trump. They should all merge under one name.

Stupid People For Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

TikTok Trump


CNN08092020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I’m hoping it’s tick-tock for Donald Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Fall Well


cjones08122020

Let me say this about Jerry Falwell Jr: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Really, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. And when I say “nicer guy,” I really mean hypocritical, racist, condescending douchebag.

Jerry Falwell Jr released a photo of himself with his arm around a woman who is not his wife, with his pants unzipped, and holding a glass of black liquid. It was taken on a yacht. A lot of people, even Republicans, and other assorted asshole conservatives said this was the last straw. What were the other straws?

As president of Liberty University, he’s been accused of running the school like a dictatorship. He’s been accused of nepotism in favoring family-owned businesses in the school’s investments. He’s allowed his wife, the woman not in the unzipped-pants photo, to run school affairs. He’s shared racy photos of his wife to school employees. He’s had crude discussions of his sex life with coworkers. And, he’s sold Donald Trump merchandise from the University.

Last June, he made racist remarks that lead to two football players withdrawing from the school.

He once said if more people were armed, “Then we could end those Muslims before they walked in and killed them.”

After Donald Trump praised and defended Nazis in Charlottesville, Falwell said, “I think we need to grow up as a people and stop being so easily offended.” When asked, “”Is there anything President Trump could do that would endanger that support from you or other evangelical leaders?” Fucker Falwell said, “No.”

Last March, Falwell promoted a conspiracy theory that North Korea and China conspired together to create the coronavirus and Democrats were using it to hurt Donald Trump. He also said the media was “willing to destroy the economy just to hurt Trump.” Honestly, I’m shocked the person next to Falwell while his pants were unzipped wasn’t Donald Trump.

Falwell also reopened Liberty University during the pandemic which brought strong criticism from staff and students as well as a lawsuit.

Last year, Reuters reported that Falwell asked Trump’s former fixer, Michael Cohen, to get rid of dirty pictures of him and his wife. In a Politico story, in a car ride with a senior Liberty official, “All he wanted to talk about was how he would nail his wife, how she couldn’t handle his penis size, and stuff of that sort.”

I gotta say it. From that unzipped photo, we didn’t see anything his wife probably can’t handle.

Falwell also claims the beverage he’s holding in the photo was “black water.” Sure, and Bill Clinton didn’t inhale.

The board of Liberty University has forced Falwell to take an “indefinite” leave of absence after that “last straw.” Those were a lot of straws.

Maybe Donald Trump can give Falwell a pardon from the university punishing him, then like the last asshole he pardoned, Roger Stone, Falwell can go work on Trump’s campaign.

But why would the evangelical base have any problem with what Falwell did when they’ve never had a problem with Donald Trump’s behavior. They don’t care that he brags about “grabbing them by the pussy,” or the multiple accusations of sexual assault and even rape. They don’t care he tweets “white power” or defends Nazis.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Roughing It, Volume 58


Wanna hear something awesome? I didn’t have to draw a lot of roughs last week. Woo hoo!

CNNrough888

After my editor told me the lead of the newsletter, I threw this at him. He took it pretty quickly and I got to call it an early day.

CNN08022020

The only thing I changed was Mary holding the book in case some readers forgot who Mary Trump is.

CNNrough886

I really liked this idea, so I made it an official cartoon.

cjones08032020

By the way, Donald Trump is a racist. I went back and forth in my head if I should go with “servants” or “the help.” I went with the latter partly based on that Emma Stone movie with the shit pie I’ve been meaning to watch.

CNNrough885

He’s also a moron.

CNNrough887

He’s also a racist moron with dreams of fascism.

CNNrough884

This was my first idea with the Demon Sperm Doctor.

Wow. Only five roughs from last week. And there weren’t many more than that for this week. So, which ones are your favorites?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Thighland


cjones08112020

Sometimes while writing out ideas, a cartoonist warms up by sketching. One of my pals, Stacy Curtis, starts his day with what he calls “Warm Up Drawerings” and he shares them on Facebook. They’re beautiful. My “drawerings” are just really goofy and I don’t always share them.

Yesterday, while writing for CNN, I sketched this out. No, I did not send it to CNN and I wouldn’t have. But I did share it on social media and it got a lot of likes, shares, and comments (most, “MY EYES!!!!”). But I have learned one thing over the past few years and that is, what works really well on Facebook usually doesn’t for print newspapers. But I decided to send it to my clients anyway. There may be one client crazy enough to run it anyway.

But if you don’t follow me on social media (the buttons are on the right-hand side of the page, people), why should you be denied losing your lunch after seeing this?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

If Biden Wins


cjones08102020

You would think Donald Trump is talking out of his ass and making up wild bullshit out of desperation from losing to Joe Biden, except Donald Trump always talks out of his ass and makes up wild bullshit.

Donald Trump said if Biden wins, he’ll, “Take away your guns, take away your Second Amendment. No religion, no anything. Hurt the Bible. Hurt God. He’s against God. He’s against guns. He’s against energy, our kind of energy.”

He also claimed Biden will get rid of cops and fracking. The fracking thing might be the only thing close to being true. Why didn’t Trump include grandmas, baseball, apple pie, and puppies?

Joe Biden has based his entire career on his faith. It’s something he’s talked about again and again. He talked about how his faith helped him get through the loss of his first wife, daughter, and son. When Pope Francis visited the United States in 2015, Joe Biden met him on the tarmac, went with him to Mass at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and accompanied the Pope to Philadelphia. He called the Pope, “the single most popular figure in the world.”

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Russians meddlers spread lies that Pope Francis endorsed Trump. Donald Trump never knocked those claims down.

When Donald Trump talks about religion, he says he has never asked for forgiveness and when he has been to church, that’s where you eat your “little crackers and drink your little wine.”

The last time Donald Trump went to a church, he had the military teargas peaceful protesters so he could walk to it from the White House, stand outside the church on a Monday afternoon, hold “a” Bible upside down(when asked if it was his, he said it was “a Bible”), all for a photo-op. Then he walked back to the White House. No statements. No prayers. Nothing but a photo which was made possible by Attorney General William Barr and Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, who later said he regretted it.

Religious leader and hater of zipping up his pants, Jerry Falwell Jr. is a big Trump fan and thinks the coronavirus is an evil plot to destroy Trump. What was in that glass of “black water?”

Evangelicals love Donald Trump. Many believe he was sent by God. Donald Trump believes he was sent by God. Donald Trump has claimed he’s the “Chosen One.” The Republican Party has turned into a cult that treats Trumpism as a religion. There is nothing to believe in but Trump. Christians who support Donald Trump are not Christians.

A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump using a church for a photo-op. A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump saying he doesn’t need forgiveness. A Christian wouldn’t support a man who brags about “grabbing them by the pussy.” A Christian wouldn’t support a grifter like Donald Trump who steals from charities to purchase paintings of himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who is the king of vanity and can’t stop praising himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who mocks the handicapped and puts children into jails. A Christian would not support a man who claims his opponent hates the Bible and will hurt God. A Christian would reject a man who claims he’s the “Chosen One.” A Christian would not support a man who lies. A Christian would not support Mr. Two Corinthians.

A real Christian would support removing Donald Trump from the Oval Office.

Joe Biden hurt God? A Christian would know that’s impossible. Donald Trump is no Christian.

If you claim you are a Christian and you support Donald Trump, do us all a favor and blow it out your ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Defund The NRA


cjones08092020

The National Rifle Association has been a very secretive organization for decades. They won’t publicize their funding or even how many members they have, but there is one thing we know about them. They’re evil incarnate.

For years, the lobbying group has controlled the Republican Party (also evil) and has succeeded in blocking even the lightest of gun regulations. As more and more Americans die from gun violence each year, including children from mass shootings at their schools, the NRA pushes for more guns in our society.

The NRA has advocated for semi-automatic weapons over the lives of children for years. The NRA has blood on its hands. The NRA labels every proposed gun regulation as an attack on the 2nd Amendment. The NRA has positioned itself as the 2nd Amendment. And for years, like every gun nut on the internet, the NRA ignores the part of the 2nd Amendment that mentions “regulated.”

The 2nd Amendment is the most sacred part of the Constitution to Republicans as they describe themselves as Constitutionalists and argue the Amendment shouldn’t be touched. But if they could, they’d take out the word “regulated.” Of course, the 2nd Amendment is the only amendment they’ve read.

Now, the state of New York is going to war with the National Rifle Association. New York isn’t just looking to put a hurting on the NRA. New York is out to obliterate the NRA.

New York Attorney General Letitia James filed a 168-page lawsuit with the state Supreme Court seeking to dissolve the NRA and claimed four of its top officials “funneled millions into their own pockets” and described the NRA as “a breeding ground for greed, abuse, and brazen illegality.”

The suit was followed by another by the Attorney General of Washington, D.C., who filed suit against the N.R.A. and its charitable foundation, alleging the NRA misused millions of dollars of the foundation’s funds. So the NRA has a charity…just like Donald Trump did.

It’s funny how Republicans chastised the Clinton Foundation for years as corrupt, without ever having proof. Today, the NRA is being sued for corruption and the Trump Foundation doesn’t exist anymore.

The NRA is countersuing New York, claiming its 1st Amendment rights are being attacked and the lawsuit is entirely political. Proving the 2nd Amendment is the only one they’ve read, there is nothing in the 1st that grants you the right to steal money.

The NRA was chartered as a non-profit in New York state 148 years ago though their headquarters are in Virginia outside the capital. The four top dogs in the NRA being sued are Wayne LaPierre, the longtime chief executive, John Frazer, the organization’s general counsel; Josh Powell, a former top lieutenant of LaPierre; and Wilson Phillips (not the 80’s group that sang “Hold on for one more day,” but that might be appropriate here), a former chief financial officer.

LaPierre is accused of raiding N.R.A. funds to bankroll an extravagant lifestyle, even after being paid millions in salary and benefits.

The suit says over six and a half years, a personal travel consultant for LaPierre was paid $13.5 million, largely on no-bid contracts. Private flights were chartered for LaPierre’s wife and his niece. He took frequent trips to the Bahamas on the N.R.A.’s dime, often decamping to a 108-foot yacht called “Illusions” (how appropriate) that was owned by an N.R.A. contractor and included a chef and four staterooms. He lavished gifts from Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman on his inner circle, and once put his niece up at a Four Seasons hotel for eight nights at a cost of more than $12,000.

The suit says the executives enriched themselves, their friends, families, and allies, and took improper actions that cost the organization $64 million over three years. The lawsuit seeks to ban the executives from EVER again serving on nonprofit boards in the state of New York. Hmm. Just like Donald Trump and his three oldest kids after using their fake charity in similar corrupt manners.

This is a civil suit and the state’s AG has referred it to the IRS. There may be a criminal referral in the future. They should probably keep their eyes on LaPierre who likes to visit the Bahamas a lot. We have an extradition treaty with that country, right? Psst. We do.

The NRA is evil. It’s so evil, Russia is a big advocate for it. Why would Russia, a nation with strict gun control laws, send spies to infiltrate the NRA? Because Russia knows the organization helps destabilize the United States. There are still investigations into whether the NRA was used by Russia to funnel money into Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Leading up to the 2016 election, the NRA was a Russian asset.

Donald Trump said about the investigation, “That’s a very terrible thing that just happened The N.R.A. should move to Texas and lead a very good and beautiful life.” The word “Beautiful” is one of Donald Trump’s big words which is included in nearly every Donald Trump statement but at least he didn’t pronounce Texas as “Thexas.” By the way, the NRA can’t move its organization while it’s under investigation.

In the past, the state Attorney General referred to the NRA as a “terrorist organization.” They do support easy access to gun by terrorists. In fact, they’ve lobbied to defend a terrorist’s rights to get guns.

LaPierre is also said to have secured for himself, without board approval, a post-employment contract worth more than $17 million. This guy has used the NRA to enrich himself, just like Donald Trump used his bogus charity to enrich himself. What will we learn next? That LaPierre used NRA funds to buy portraits of himself and Tim Tebow-signed football helmets?

The Attorney General’s office took down the Trump Foundation. It took down Trump University. Now, it’s gunning (pun intended) for the National Rifle Association.

Could we actually see the dissolving of two evil organizations in one year? This would be a much safer nation, to itself and the world, with the destruction of the NRA and the Trump administration.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

An Argument For School Beatings


cjones08082020

Yesterday, I read a post by a conservative Trump-supporting fucknut who claimed his child’s pediatrician is all for schools reopening and for children to attend classes in person. There’s always that one dentist who endorses the cavity-creating gum.

First off, he’s probably lying because this person does that a LOT, plus, he’s a Trump supporter which also means he could be lying or not comprehending what the pediatrician actually said. But the big takeaway I have from this is, get another pediatrician. Or maybe your kid should find new parents.

It’s bad enough your pediatrician is playing politics with your child’s life, but you? You’re willing to throw your kid off a cliff and believe there’s a net to catch him because Donald Trump, who has told over 20,000 lies as president, says there’s a net?

Everybody wants schools to reopen. Just like nobody is arguing the country should be closed permanently, I haven’t heard anyone make the case for never reopening schools. I remember when my kid was little. I remember pulling my hair out. I remember wanting to run away and never to be seen or heard from again. I remember those days of wanting to kill your kid while still loving him. I remember hours upon hours of, “why?”. I get it. Get those kids out of the house and back in school. But I know now is not the time.

Southern states made an argument to reopen in the midst of the Trump Virus. They were wrong and more people died. Donald Trump made an argument to restart his hate rallies. He was wrong and people died. Ask Herman Cain. Oh wait. You can’t. So, the same people who were wrong about reopening their states and hate rallies still want to try it with schools? They still want to play politics with your kids’ lives?

Yesterday, Donald Trump said kids are “virtually immune” to the Trump Virus. That’s not wrong. It’s a flat-out lie. He knows it’s a lie and he keeps saying it. Remember his other lies about the virus? It’s going to disappear? It’ll be gone by Easter? Everyone who wants a test can get a test? Hey, take some malaria medication? Hey, drink bleach?

Here’s a crazy idea that’s as wild as not voting for the candidate endorsed by Russia: Don’t listen to Donald Trump especially when it comes to the life of your child. Don’t support the candidate willing to sacrifice your child for his own personal gain.

Here’s a test about whether or not you’re in a cult: If you’re still supporting the guy willing to kill your kid for his narcissism, you’re in a cult. Here’s another one: If you’re defending Dr. Demon Sperm, you’re in a cult (I’m looking at you, every Republican political cartoonist).

But then again, Donald Trump did make a very strong argument for the importance of education. Kids need school. If they don’t go, they may never become fully literate. If that happens, someday they may be forced to read aloud as an adult and they won’t be able to pronounce “Yosemite.”

To sum up, until we can get our kids back in school, Dr. Clay recommends hours on top of hours of old Bugs Bunny cartoons. Look how I turned out?

Disclaimer: I’m not a real doctor, but I have drawn cartoons of them.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Why, Covid, Why?


cjones08072020

In the midst of a pandemic, it seems the safest and surest way of voting would be by mail. Naturally, the idea of as many Americans as possible exercising their Constitutional right to vote for their chosen candidate scares the hell out of Republicans. Why? Because Republicans do better with fewer people voting. Republicans do better when they disenfranchise people from voting.

More people vote for Democrats than for Republicans in this country. That’s a fact. The only way Republicans control the Senate is because there are two Senators for each state. There are 42 states in this country that has a smaller population than Los Angeles County alone. So, a state like Wyoming, which only has around 580,000 people has just as much representation in the United States Senate as California, a state with a population approaching 40 million. One of the mantras of the American Revolution was, “No taxation without representation.” What about under-representation?

The 22 smallest U.S. states would have to be added together to match California’s population. So basically, there are 38 million Americans with 44 Senators and there is another 38 million with only 2. So our Senate system is unfair. Why should Californians be punished and under-represented? This is the same argument with the electoral college. Republicans believe acres of dirt should have more representation than people in blue states.

It’s just as bad with Congress. While you can’t gerrymander a state, you can with districts. Both parties have played the game of gerrymandering by redrawing district lines when their party controls their state legislature. But Republicans are much worse, or perhaps much better at it. In 2018, Democrats picked up 38 seats in Congress by winning 53% of the vote nationally in Congressional races. In 1994, during that huge wave of Republicans riding on Newt Gingrich’s Contract With America bullshit, the GOP picked up 54 seats in Congress by winning 51% of the vote.

Do you see what I see? Do you see the fact? Democrats needed a bigger margin of votes to win Congress in 2018…and they still got fewer seats than the GOP did when they took over Congress in 94. Republicans got more with less. How? Cheating!

Why do Democrats need more people to vote to beat Republicans, and still get less when they win? Because Republicans cheat. They gerrymander. They disenfranchise voters. They restrict who can vote. They remove people from voting rolls (Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, college students, etc). They remove voting precincts in minority neighborhoods. And, they ask foreign nations for help.

Worst of all, Donald Trump is president (sic) despite losing the popular vote. Despite that, Trump supporters love to say he’s the choice of the American people. He wasn’t then and he won’t be in 2020.

And still, Republicans make shit up about voter fraud. The idea here is when Donald Trump loses, there will be doubt among his supporters. There are still idiots for Trump who believe over 3 million non-citizens voted in 2016. They don’t have any proof but then again, they also believe Obama is a Kenyan who wiretapped Trump Tower.

Donald Trump claimed that there were over 3 million illegal voters in 2016. He created an election commission that disbanded after it couldn’t’ find any voter fraud. When Democrat Doug Jones won Jeff Sessions’ former Senate seat in Alabama, Republicans claimed black people were bussed in from Mississippi to vote. Donald Trump even argued that IDs should be required to vote because you need them to buy cereal, probably because one time, Eric was told Trix are for kids.

And now, there are cries about voter fraud with mail-in voting. It doesn’t exist. Donald Trump says absentee voting is fine, but mail-in voting isn’t. He’s fine with absentee voting because that’s how he votes. The thing is, absentee and mail-in voting are the same things.

And now, Donald Trump is suing to stop Nevada from mail-in voting while saying it’s OK if Florida does it. His argument for why it’s OK for Florida but not Nevada? Because Republicans control Florida. This is not a theory or speculation. He said it outright. And since Republicans control Florida, especially a Republican Trump sycophant who would rather watch his people die than risk provoking an angry Trump tweet, they can steal the election for Donald Trump.

Do you remember the hanging chad thing in the 2000 election? Who won Florida that year? The Supreme Court told the state to stop counting after the Republicans there, installed by George W. Bush’s brother, gave him the election. Al Gore won Florida but they gave it to Bush.

Whether it’s mail-in voting or in person, the Republicans are going to try to steal the election. It’s what they do. Why? Because they’re Republicans. They were cheating before Trump came along, but now with Trump, it’s much more brazen and stupid. They don’t hide it well.

Donald Trump literally said he’s OK with mail-in voting in Florida because his corrupt party controls the state.

This time it’s, “DeSantis, if you’re listening.” He’s listening.

Democrats need more to win honestly than Republicans need to win by cheating. The turnout for 2020 needs to be as high as possible. It’s why Trump is fighting to stop mail-in voting, except in Florida, which has a long history of corruption.

While Donald Trump can’t find any evidence of voter fraud, we have plenty of evidence of Republican fraud.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.