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Putrid In Puerto Rico


cjones10182017

In addition to being without electricity, phone service, and internet for the majority of the citizens of Puerto Rico, access to clean water is extremely limited. For many Puerto Ricans, the water they do have access to is dangerous, and even life-threatening.

Since Hurricane Maria hit the island (which is a part of the United States and the people there are American citizens, Republicans), many people are drawing water from Superfund sites.

What many of those drawing water from these sites, like the Dorado Groundwater Contamination Superfund site, don’t realize is that the water is toxic. Drinking water from these sources can lead to liver disease and high risks of cancer. The local government has already attributed four deaths caused by drinking the water. Some residents have reported extreme stomach pains.

How are the residents supposed to know the water they’re drinking is toxic when they can’t get information? Most probably aren’t aware the president has expressed more concern over kneeling football players than starving Puerto Ricans.

Donald Trump has blamed the limited access to water on local authorities and said distribution efforts shouldn’t be the military’s job. Trump, who has responded like a baby with a full diaper to criticism of his response to the crisis, has warned Puerto Rico that the federal government can’t stay and help them forever. He’s made comments about the islands poor electrical grid before the storm, how Puerto Rico needs to figure out their debt situation, and that Puerto Ricans need to help themselves. How empathetic.

Democratic Bennie Thompson of Mississippi wants the Department of Homeland Security to investigate reports that people are drinking contaminated water. I’m not sure what that investigation will solve, as we already know people are drinking toxic water. We are aware the federal government is doing a lousy job helping the people of Puerto Rico.

The federal response to aid Puerto Rico has been atrocious. The U.S. Navy hospital ship, Comfort, arrived on October 3, thirteen days after the hurricane hit the island. Today, half the beds on the ship lie empty. So far, 48 deaths have been attributed to Maria.

There should be visible signs of improvement to an area three weeks after it has been hit by a hurricane. Not people dying, calls for investigations, and still trying to figure out how to respond better. The president shouldn’t be threatening to bail on American citizens within three weeks of a natural disaster.

Trump has done his best to contaminate the entire nation with his orange toxins. Now people are dying from Trumpism.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Me Too


cjones10172017

If you’re a man and you don’t understand what I’m talking about with this cartoon, stop and think about it.

There were several things I was going to discuss in today’s column, but I’ve reconsidered. Today, I’m gonna leave you hanging and let the dudes among you figure it for themselves. And, I’m not talking about the cartoon.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Trumping Obama’s Legacy


cjones10162017

Other than proposing to build a ridiculously expensive and stupid wall on the border with Mexico, Donald Trump hasn’t presented any original ideas of his own. His legacy will be undoing Obama’s legacy.

Trump has yet to realize the presidency is bigger than him, that he’s a public servant, president for all the people and not just his incredibly shrinking base, or that the job entails more than ego gratification.

Just as Woogie couldn’t get over Mary in There’s Something About Mary, Trump can’t get over Obama. President Obama is smarter than Trump. He’s cooler, smoother, and much more articulate. Obama had high approval ratings when he left office where Trump’s are proving historically low. Obama was well liked while Trump is less popular than gonorrhea. Which prospect sounds more enticing, eight years of Trump or wicked, burning venereal disease? Gonorrhea please, and thank you.

Trump can’t get over Obama. The guy even attacked him in front of Boy Scouts.

Trump has held a grudge against Obama before he had a reason to hate him. Trump was the biggest advocate of birtherism in this nation. Nobody campaigned harder on the racist lie that Obama was illegitimate. Obama ribbed Trump so hard at the White House Correspondents Dinner, that today Trump won’t even attend the dinner as president.

When Trump talks about enacting a new health plan, he talks more about how terrible Obamacare is than how great his own plan is. He tells us he’s just going to let Obamacare die…and then he stabs it. He’s shortening the enrollment date and cutting the advertising budget by 90%. If more people sign up for Obamacare, it’s not going to die. For Obamacare to die, it’s going to need a great big orange push. The biggest gripe he has with Obamacare is that it has Obama’s name.

Trump is ending DACA, a program that allows people to stay in this nation that were brought here, by no choice of their own, by their parents. These young people are effectively Americans. This is home to them, and they’re making this country a better place. Many are skilled and highly educated. Trump doesn’t care if he ruins lives and makes this nation weaker. Allowing them to stay was an Obama initiative, and he can’t have that.

Trump has pulled us out of the Paris Climate Agreement, and he’s reversing Obama’s climate policy. He doesn’t need to understand anything about it other than Obama got us into it.

He’s banning transgenders from serving in the military. Why? You guessed it. Obama allowed them to serve. Trump didn’t even discuss the issue with the military. He surprised them with a tweet. He talks about making our military more effective yet, he wants to kick people out we’ve spent millions of dollars training.

Now he’s trying to kill the treaty we have with Iran that prevents them from having a nuclear weapon. The Obama administration spent two years on this deal. It involves every member of the United Nations Security Council, us, Great Britain, France, China, and Russia, as well as Germany and the European Union.

The treaty with Iran prevents them from developing nuclear weapons. Republicans love to say it helps them acquire nuclear weapons. That’s an argument they haven’t explained. Iran has been in compliance with the agreement. For some reason, Republicans believe destroying a treaty that Iran is abiding by, that prevents them from acquiring nuclear weapons, will somehow make the world safer.

Trump argues that we gave Iran millions of dollars in the treaty. That’s a lie. We returned money to Iran that we froze in 1979. It’s Iran’s money.

Trump wants a better deal with Iran that was negotiated over two years between several nations, allies, and adversaries. I don’t see how that’s possible since the current treaty was negotiated by people a lot smarter than Trump and his cronies. If anything, Trump has proven that he is not a good deal-maker.

Yanking us out of the Iran treaty will betray our allies and tell our enemies that they can’t trust us. Why should North Korea even talk to us if we’re liars? How bad is it that our president is coming off as more extreme and radical than the Iranian regime?

But, forget all that. Screw the safety of the world. Forget even reading the agreement before you get rid of it. The most important thing is Trump’s ego. He’s serving a constituency of one, himself.

Obama’s legacy, lives of Dreamers, the climate, world safety, etc. Trump would rather piss on it all than having anything positive left behind by Obama. Or in his case, he’ll hire Russian hookers to do it.

Creative note: I’m not totally insane. I realize most of my clients won’t run this cartoon (if they even get it). But, I provide seven cartoons a week to them, and they can pick and choose what they want. So, occasionally they’re going to get something a little dangerous from me.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Wildfire


cjones10152017

As at least 20 wildfires rage in California, killing 35 so far, Donald Trump is gutting Obama’s Climate Change policy (along with everything else Obama initiated during his term. More on that with my next cartoon). While Trump has issued a disaster declaration for the Golden state, Californians will probably have to issue huge compliments and gratitude for Cheetolini to do more.

Thousands of homes have been lost to the fires, including the Santa Rosa home to one of my heroes, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz.

When it comes to disasters, Trump is picking and choosing which Americans he wants to receive aid. While Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico are also recovering from hurricanes, Trump is issuing threats to the territory that we can’t stay there forever, as if it’s a foreign nation we’re occupying.

Trump is also picking and choosing which parts of his oath of office he plans to keep.

Donald Trump recited the oath of office which states, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Donald Trump said those words, but they apparently don’t mean anything to him.

Trump is concerned with people disrespecting the flag of the United States and the National Anthem (unless it’s Kid Rock wearing the flag as a diaper. He gets invited to the White House). He has said that people can’t disrespect those. Much like the stock market and the national debt (which Trump said last week, one will pay off the other), he doesn’t understand the United States Constitution…or the fact he’s sworn to protect it.

Trump loves the flag controversy. It helps him further divide this nation and it allows him to continue to be president only for the low-information rubes who support him. There is no actual danger to this nation if someone disrespects a flag, a song you don’t know all the words to, or even our military (which has not technically fought for American freedom since the Civil War). It’s red meat for stupid religious zealots, like vowing we’re going to start saying “merry Christmas” again, which must be a secret ban Obama implemented. I can’t find any information on that, no matter how hard I search.

A rhetorical question I posed on Twitter a few days ago to Trump sycophants was: “what’s worse? Disrespecting the flag or the U.S. Constitution?” Violating one of those actually endangers our freedom, and it’s not the flag.

What is frightening as hell is that we have a president, who idolizes authoritarian figures, who is disregarding the parts of the Constitution he doesn’t like.

Trump says people can’t disrespect the flag. Yes, they can. It’s protected speech. The Constitution doesn’t say that only speech Donald J. Trump agrees with is allowed.

While every president has issues with the press, Trump has been in a constant love/hate relationship with it for his entire life. Lately, he’s focusing on the hate.

Upset at a report that he wanted to increase our nuclear arsenal (because he doesn’t understand treaties either), he blasted NBC. Trump tweeted, “with all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!” He also wondered out loud why the Senate Intelligence Committee wasn’t looking into the “fake news networks.”

Wednesday, Trump said, “it is frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write, and people should look into it.” Guess what, you walking mango. I looked into it. Yes, the press pretty much can write whatever they want to write. It’s how Trump’s favorite publications, The National Enquirer, Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News can spread made-up bullshit for Trump to help disseminate.

First off, there is not a license for news network, no more than there are licenses for journalists (including political cartoonists). Individual stations are licensed, but not networks. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does not regulate content. This isn’t Nazi Germany, or present-day North Korea, or Cuba, or Azerbaijan, or China, or Russia, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia, or Egypt, or Turkey, or Uzbekistan, etc.

Second, freedom of the press is guaranteed by the First Amendment. If you’re a Trump voter, that’s the very first one in the Constitution. Our Founding Fathers thought it was kinda important. Trump might have autocratic fantasies about ditching parts of the Constitution that he and his stupid base don’t care about, or have never bothered to read, but he has sworn to defend it.

Similar to how you can’t choose which American citizens are worthy enough to receive disaster relief, and which are not, you can’t pick which parts of the Constitution you swear to defend. I know the Second Amendment is the only one you get a boner for, but you might want to look into the others.

When it comes to people who kneel during a song and people who want to violate the United States Constitution, only one of those groups should have their patriotism questioned (hint: It’s not the protesters).

Did you know that in addition to protecting the press and protesters, the First Amendment also allows you to practice whichever religion you fundamentalist zealots choose? Also, it prevents anyone from stopping you from saying “merry Christmas.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Nasty Boy Scouts


cjones10142017

What do you call a woman who can fly a plane? A pilot. But, what do you call a girl who is a Boy Scout? That’s a head-scratcher for the moment.

I really am not concerned about the Boy Scouts allowing girls to join. It’s not like the organization is attempting to become modern and progressive. They are a very rigid Christian organization that has had to be dragged kicking and screaming into this century and to get over their homophobia. They’re not there yet.

I’m more concerned with how the Boy Scouts of America are influencing young men in how they should treat girls. After watching thousands of Boy Scouts cheer on Trump and chant “lock her up” at their jamboree, my concerns are valid. We don’t need today’s generation of assholes to teach little boys to be little assholes that grow into old assholes.

Conservatives are freaking out over allowing girls into the Boy Scouts. They believe its political correctness threatening an organization where individual troops are overwhelmingly affiliated with churches. Twenty percent of Boy Scouts are Mormon. They don’t want the Boy Scouts to become like the Girl Scouts, which is open-minded and fairly progressive.

Girl Scouts are a secular organization. While the Boy Scouts have an official policy against atheists and agnostics participating in scouting, the Girl Scouts make it clear girls may substitute any words they like for the part of the Girl Scout Pledge in which they promise “to serve God.”

The Girl Scouts have long focused on social justice, diversity and inclusion in their activities. They have provided financial support to organizations like Oxfam, Amnesty International, and Doctors Without Borders.

Conservatives have been hating on the Girl Scouts for several years now. A Catholic church in Kansas City doesn’t want anything to do with them, and anti-abortion zealots have gone so far to boycott their cookies. They will have you believe the Girl Scouts are raising girls to become angry militant lesbians hawking cookies that finance baby killing. Overpriced baby-killing cookies, but oh so delicious.

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I was a Cub Scout for a time but lost interest before this cub grew into a boy. I was kinda sort of honorary Girl Scout. My mom was a den mother and would host the meetings in our house in Elgin, Illinois from the time I was in kindergarten to the second grade. Even at that early age I liked girls and was not going to be excluded when my basement was full of girls two years older than me. I’m sure my older sister and step-sister, along with all the other girls, found me annoying. Girls still find me annoying.

I was never much for conformity or joining things. I did join 4-H for about a week because I followed a girl into it in the 5th grade. I quit after I realized all they talked about were cows and tractors. That was the same year I was in the school band for about two weeks. How much does one have to suck to get kicked out of the 5th grade school band?

Hopefully, with a few girls in the Boy Scouts, the boys will learn that girls are their equal…and usually better. At the very least, maybe they can be better than the conservatives I witnessed this week attacking the mayor of San Juan for wearing a “#Nasty” T-shirt. It boggled my mind she was being vilified for wear the shirt while those attacking her were giving a pass to the sexist old man who called her “nasty.”

There isn’t a better time than now to allow girls into the Boy Scouts. Maybe the next generation of young men can be better than Donald Trump.

Creative note: If you follow me on Twitter, then you already know this. I started drawing my cartoon at 3:00 AM. Around 5:00 AM, I got this idea and I liked it a lot better. My previous cartoon was almost done and I already had two cups of coffee, but I started over anyway.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

The Real Slim Shady


cjones10132017

During the George W. Bush administration, Kanye West claimed on national television that the president hated black people. How did the president and his White House respond to the accusation? They didn’t. They felt it best to take it on the chin and move on doing the business of government (whether they were doing it well or not). If Sir Mix-a-Lot had attacked Bush, I can’t imagine he would have responded with, “He’s lying, and he doesn’t like big butts plus, I heard he doesn’t appreciate a round thing in his face.” Of course, those were back in the good ole days when presidents were presidential.

There are rumors the toddlers in the Trump White House are working on a response to the harsh criticism rapper Eminem delivered Tuesday night on Donald Trump. I’m sure it’ll be brilliant since Trump did create the word “fake.” Perhaps Trump should instead attack Vanilla Ice because I think Eminem is out of his league.

Eminem is not the sort of artist whose work I’d purchase, but I do like a lot of his stuff (Check out the track “Stan.” It’s freaking brilliant). I recognize the man is a genius. He has an amazing skill with word placement, and only a genius is capable of freestyling the way he does. He’s spent his entire career attacking people in his music, usually over his personal issues. His victims have ranged from Fred Durst to Nsync to Moby, and even his ex-wife and own mother. On Tuesday night, he went after Trump.

Eminem free-styled in a video played at the BET Hip Hop Awards. In it, he accused Trump of racism, hypocrisy, disrespect of military veterans and much more in a nearly five-minute performance. He didn’t just attack Trump, he attacked Trump’s supporters.

He told Trump supporters who also like Slim Shady that they had to choose. He said if the decision was hard then he would make the decision for them, and he flipped them off. As someone who loses newspaper clients over complaints (and threats) from Trump sycophants, I can appreciate the smell-ya-later attitude.

Social media lit up over Eminem’s performance. It’s safe to say he’ll continue to have fans even after those who support Trump ditch him, though he broke up with them first.

If nothing else, they will always have Kid Rock. What do they know about talent anyway?

Creative note: I had fun with this but it was a LOT of work. I feel bad for my pal Karen who had to endure me bouncing rap lyrics off her. It took me several hours to even gear up to get into the zone to write this.

The rhymes here are actually to a beat I worked out on my guitar. You can create your own if you choose. I had to rewrite Eminem’s rap to fit this cartoon, though I did use his “racist grandpa” line. Funny thing, I included a reference to Putin and the 25th Amendment which might be the only two subjects Eminem didn’t bring up.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Bannon’s Blue Chips


cjones10122017

Former White House chief strategist, head of Breitbart, and poster boy for nationalism Steve Bannon isn’t just trying to redesign the Republican Party into his racist image, he’s trying to do that to America.

Bannon’s politics are so warped to the right, he was against Trump picking Christian zealot and homophobe Mike Pence as his V.P. pick. Say it with me now. Yikes!

Bannon’s first success in electing a nationalistic bigot was Donald Trump. Unfortunately for Bannon, Trump’s only true ideology and passion are Donald Trump. Plus, he’s an idiot. Bannon will need to stack the United States Senate with racists and Nazi sympathizers if he wants to see the United States truly become an authoritarian state subservient to one master.

Inspired by Roy Moore’s primary win in Alabama, Bannon has promised to make every Republican senator face a far-right candidate in their primaries. Well, every Republican senator except Ted Cruz, because he’s horrible enough. Bannon is also targeting Congress and is supporting a former-congressman and felon who’s running for the last Republican-held seat in New York City.

The only problem Bannon may have with the type of candidates he prefers is that they also tend to be kinda stupid. Roy Moore didn’t even know what DACA is and had to have a radio show host explain it to him. Perhaps, after the candidates assume office they can call Bannon who will tell them how to vote.

Bannon envisions an authoritarian nation that rules instead of governs. He wants a government where the head of state’s authority won’t be questioned, and the legislative branch is a paper tiger that folds at his will. The only reason current Republican officeholders are subservient to Trump is that they are afraid of his base. While Trump’s disapproval ratings among people who are not total maniacs hover around 70%, his approval among those who voted for him is around 90%. These are people satisfied with the job performance of a man who has yet to do his job. And, people who voted for Trump are OK with racism.

Bannon wants to replace Republicans who don’t play nice with Trump and don’t share his vision of a culture war and race-baiting politics. Bannon promised to “cut off the oxygen” to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and stop his fundraising for establishment candidates. He’s also called for Senator Bob Corker to resign because he had the gall to question Trump’s ability to serve as president.

He said Corker’s comments about the White House being run like a daycare center are unacceptable, and he had the “audacity” to make those comments to The New York Times. For Breitbart, a propaganda machine, an actual news source that informs people are the enemy.

Bannon said Republican incumbents have committed “economic hate crimes” against the “forgotten man.” What the hell is an economic hate crime? Also, when he says “forgotten,” he means white.

Bannon is declaring “war” on the GOP establishment and all those that don’t back what Trump ran on. He said there is a “new game in town.”

Bannon’s “war” isn’t just on the GOP. It’s on all of us who don’t want a xenophobic, nationalistic racist nation run by complete dumb-asses.

Democrats can’t be fooled into believing that scary, freaky far-right Bannonites toppling establishment Republicans is good for them. First off, the Democratic Party doesn’t have their act together. While they may find a few opportunities in Arizona and Nevada if those incumbent senators are defeated, there’s not much they can do in places like Alabama.

There are eight Republican-held Senate seats up for re-election in 2018. Expect Bannon to target Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Mississippi, Wyoming, Nebraska, and Tennessee. Bannon may also support candidates in states the Democrats are defending, like Florida, Missouri, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Virginia (I won’t let Virginia happen).

We already have Ted Cruz in the Senate and Roy Moore is likely to join him. Can you imagine how truly horrible it will become if six or seven more like them are elected?

Putin will be so happy.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.