Clay Jones

Damn Skippy The Fix Is In


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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

This is very similar to the oath cartoon I did last week but in this version, I give them a different oath. It’s an oath where they promise to be corrupt. The trial has started today and Mitch McConnell has already broken his oath.

McConnell wants to ram the entire thing through so that the bulk of it happens late at night, perhaps until 1:00 a.m. He’s hoping Americans stop paying attention. If voters pay attention, it’s not good for Republicans.

It’s not good because the majority doesn’t just want to hear witnesses. A majority wants Trump removed from office. It’s not good for Republicans for Americans to pay attention because they may hear the evidence, and Donald Trump is guilty. Donald Trump should be removed from office. The facts don’t help Donald Trump or Republicans.

Republicans have the majority in the Senate and they still need to fix the trial. They violated their oath before they ever took it.

Yesterday’s cartoon was on Trump goons. In a way, this one is too as each of the 53 Republicans in the United States Senate has chosen to participate in Trump’s coverup. Each of those senators has chosen to be a Trump goon.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Liberal Hack Journalists


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Last week, temporary Arizona Senator Martha McSally screamed at CNN congressional correspondent Raju Manu, calling him a “liberal hack.”

Later, McSally went on Fox News to talk about her harrowing experience of being asked a dangerous question by a liberal hack reporter. The Fox News hosts she chose to talk to about hacks in the media were Laura Ingraham and Sean Hannity. Nobody detected the irony and hypocrisy.

While screaming over it, Hannity said about CNN, “They’re not a news channel. They’re state-run, radical, leftist, socialist TV.” Again, no irony detected. A person has to be smart to catch that.

McSally said to Sean, “I actually thought they understood that they were liberal, that they were a part of kind of helping with the Democrat agenda.” Hello? Irony? Is this thing on?

Now, McSally, the unelected Senator, is campaigning on it. She has an ad on her site asking for at least five bucks. Even the Trump campaign is using it.

In decrying the way she was assaulted by Manu Raju, she said to Hannity, “I was a fighter pilot. This was a choice I made. I did not crumble under their pressure. I have flown A-10s in combat.”

It’s a good thing too that she has that experience in combat so she won’t crumble under the pressure of being asked….”should the Senate consider new evidence as part of the impeachment trial?” Oh my God! How is she still standing? The strength of this woman to continue to carry on despite the brutal beatdown of being asked a question about her job! What will they ask next? The time? How’s the weather? Do you bleach above your upper lip?

Hold your children close tonight and keep Republicans like Martha McSally in your thoughts and prayers because if I know the liberal hack media like I think I do, they’ll ask questions again. Oh, the humanity!!!

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

A Goon Can Dream


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There are a LOT of reasons Donald Trump shouldn’t be president starting with that orange crap on his face and whatever that thing is on his head. I’m not being petty. Anyone who believes that makes him look good doesn’t have the sense required to order a basic cable package less enough to have the nuclear codes.

First off, voting 101 is that you do NOT vote for the candidate endorsed by Vladimir Putin. You would think the entire country would understand that one, but no.

When you list a lot of the reasons Trump shouldn’t be president, like his stupidity, racism, sexism, narcissism, stupidity, pettiness, shallowness, lying, inexperience, stupidity, bullying, temper tantrums, playing to an ugly base, dividing the nation as a political strategy, the corruption, his treason, stupidity, attempts to bribe a foreign nation, and the stupidity (did I mention how stupid he is?), you’re bound to leave one out. I think one that shouldn’t be left out is the fact our president (sic) is a man who hires goons.

You would think after being president and having the Secret Service constantly by his side (poor bastards), that he wouldn’t require the service of goons anymore. But no. He even took one to the White House with him in his personal bodyguard, Keith Schiller. Schiller was very handy for Trump, beating up protesters and telling James Comey he was fired. Now Schiller is a goon for the Republican National Committee.

One of Trump’s other goons was Michael Cohen. Technically, Cohen WAS a lawyer but you don’t want a lawyer with a degree from the Cooley Law School anymore than you want a doctor with a degree from Washington Barbados U. You wonder how many sponges have been left inside Donald Trump. Cohen’s job was to make problems disappear, such as women Trump had sex with that weren’t one of his three wives. Cohen also called schools Trump attended to threaten them not to release his boss’ transcripts despite the fact schools don’t release them. Another gooning task is to set up fake corporations in Delaware to funnel money to Playmates and pornstars so they don’t talk. “Funnel” is a fun word for Goons. Trump goon Rudy Giuliani uses it all the time.

As president, Trump’s goon Rudy Giuliani went to Ukraine to dig up conspiracy theories on Trump’s political opponents and spread nasty rumors about our ambassador. Rudy outsourced some of his gooning responsibilities to other goons, like Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman. No goon collection is complete without at least one Igor. From there, Robert Hyde helped the Trump team with some gooning on the side and stalking Marie Yovanovitch, our ambassador (at that time) to Ukraine.

Robert Hyde is a Republican (of course) candidate for Congress in Connecticut so now you cant actually vote for a goon, which a lot of people have already done with Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, and Lindsey Graham.

Parnas and Fruman were busted and are currently under indictment. Parnas is doing what most goons do when caught. He’s talking. He’s talking a lot and he’s selling out Trump, Hyde, and Giuliani. And Trump is doing what most people do when their goons are caught. He’s denying he ever knew the guy.

Here’s a tip in case you decide to hire a goon: Don’t take photos with them. A new photo of Trump with his goon Parnas pops up every time he denies ever knowing the guy.

For Trump, each person he hires, no matter what position, eventually turns into one of his personal goons. I can’t think of a better example than William Barr who’s been gooning up a storm in the name of Trump. Other significant goons who have engaged in dirty work are his Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, former Energy Secretary Rick Perry, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland. Corey Lewandowski was his campaign manager but he wasn’t afraid to be a goon when he grabbed a female reporter at a Trump goon rally.

Another bad thing about goons is that they’re not the smartest. Maybe they used to be smart, like Barr and Giuliani (I said “maybe”), but you gotta be kinda stupid to take on goon work, especially for the likes of a Donald Trump. Take Rick Perry for example. That fuck is so stupid he forgot what agency he was heading. This isn’t Goodfellas. This is Dumbfellas.

And, you can’t trust anything a goon says, whether he’s on your side or not. We can’t trust everything Lev Parnas says and that’s why we need corroboration, like photos, documents, and other witnesses. It helps that Lev has transcripts and recordings. So, when one goon contradicts the other goon, one is lying and one is telling the truth. While Hyde argues he wasn’t really going to stalk Yovanovitch, he couldn’t stop talking about it and planning out very specific details. With both of these guys talking, it’s like a goon sandwich and you don’t want to get between that.

Goons. You get what you pay for.

Donald Trump is the kind of guy who hires goons. He probably has 20 goons for each goon he throws under the bus. And just like not voting for the Putin-endorsed candidate, you shouldn’t EVER vote for a guy who hires goons.

And, you should especially not vote for a guy who hires goons who himself, is also a goon.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Roughing It, Volume 28


This is last Sunday’s cartoon for the CNN Opinion newsletter. It went from this…

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…to this.

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Here are a few ideas I created as I stumbled on my way to meet another deadline. Welcome to another edition of Clay’s Butcher Shop. It’s gonna get disgusting.

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Sometimes when I look back on an idea like this, I think to myself, “It’s surprising I ever get to a decent enough idea.”

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As you can see, there’s a theme here.

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I figured since we’re blaming Meghan for everything anyway.

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He said this.

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I’m skeptical of all of them. By the way, are we still talking about Iran?

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After a week, I come back to this and I’m all, “I don’t remember drawing this.”

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I was working on including a Cats! joke for two weeks before I finally got it in a cartoon.

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If you don’t get the point of this cartoon, how long have you been a Republican?

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Back to that theme. But with Republicans and Trump supporters, that theme is always hypocrisy.

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I liked this one.

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Again with the Cats!

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I started this one night then canned it for…

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…THIS! I don’t remember what. Maybe something on Cats!

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Dershowitz Defense


cjones01232020

I couldn’t have an opinion on Ken Starr being on Trump’s legal defense team without also having an opinion on Alan Dershowitz also being added.

It’s not that Starr and Dershowitz are bad lawyers. Contrary to that, they’re exceptional lawyers. Usually, for a lawyer to be a pundit and prognosticator on cable news, that lawyer has to be good. But, after years spent being a television talking head, the fame can get in the way of being a good lawyer.

The thing you have to ask here which I’m positive Donald Trump didn’t; Do you want to hear what these lawyers argue or do you just want them to be seen? Donald Trump loves to hire people he sees on Fox News, including lawyers.

Donald Trump surrounds himself with bad actors. Have you seen the goons associated with him? One of those bad actors he put on his team to argue against impeachment is Pam Bondi, former Attorney General for Florida who once talked then-Governor Rick Scott into postponing an execution because it conflicted with her reelection-fundraising event. Bondi isn’t so much a good lawyer as in she’s the kind of lawyer Trump needs. She’s a corrupt lawyer.

Bondi once co-hosted Fox and Friends while still serving as the state’s AG. Fox News said it had been approved by the Florida Commission on Ethics but guess what. It wasn’t.

Here’s the best part about Pam Bondi: As Attorney General, her office received 22 complaints about fraud concerning Trump University (yes. THAT Trump University). Her office announced it was considering joining a New York state lawsuit against Trump University on tax fraud. Then, lo and behold, Pam Bondi’s political action committee, established to support her reelection, received $25,000 from…wait for it…the Donald J. Trump Foundation. You remember the Trump Foundation, right? It’s the foundation that’s supposed to be a charity but it’s not. Instead of giving money to children with cancer, Trump uses it to stage political events, purchase sports memorabilia and portraits for himself, pay off lawsuits for bedbug-ridden golf resorts and…to make political contributions. Donald Trump stopped a potential investigation into his fraudulent university by paying off a politician from his fraudulent charity. This is why satire is hard.

Guess what happened after Bondi received that 25 grand. She declined to join the lawsuit. Trump was fined and ordered to repay the contribution back to his “foundation” and it was ultimately shut down by the state of New York. As it turns out, while Bondi was talking about joining the lawsuit against Trump, she personally solicited the donation from Trump. Later, she endorsed him for president. Trump isn’t the only entity she received campaign funds from that her office was contemplating investigating.

Ironically, Pam Bondi led a Lock-Her-Up chant at the 2016 Republican National Convention.

But back to Alan Dershowitz who appears to be in conflict with himself representing Donald Trump. He says he voted for Hillary Clinton and has endorsed Joe Biden for the 2020 campaign. His first conflict is that he’s on the same team as Ken Starr, who he once criticized for leaking grand jury testimony and concealing his conflict of interest from the court, and called a “threat to democracy.” Maybe after defending the current threat to democracy, those two can go hash it out over a beer.

Dershowitz and Starr have built their careers around moral narratives. Bu how can you have any morals when you defend a client who doesn’t have any?

Everyone deserves the right to an attorney, and Dershowitz takes bad guys as clients. He once told Professor Evan Mandery of John Jay College of Criminal Justice, “If Hitler were to call me today, saying he’s in the jungles of Brazil, I would defend him.” Dershowitz, who has defended O.J. Simpson, Jeffrey Epstein, and Harvey Weinstein, has now chosen a client who is as close to Hitler as he’ll ever get. Even Hitler didn’t steal from a children’s charity.

Dershowitz says he’s participating in this impeachment trial to “defend the integrity of the Constitution and to prevent the creation of a dangerous constitutional precedent.” In one of his books, the constitutional law professor said the impeachment of Richard Nixon would have been proper because “his crimes went to the essence of what an impeachable offense should be: he subverted the Constitution to his own partisan benefit, and in the process endangered the liberties of all Americans.”

If Nixon should have been impeached and his crimes “went to the essence of what an impeachable offense should be,” then what the hell did Donald Trump do?

Donald Trump illegally withheld military aid, taxpayer money, from a foreign power in a shakedown to attack a political opponent and help his reelection campaign. It was illegal for him to withhold the money and it was illegal for him to seek help from a foreign power. He also obstructed justice along the way. That’s not impeachable?

Not only does Dershowitz have to argue that none of that is impeachable, but it’s not even wrong because Donald Trump wants his legal team to fight that his phone call with Zelensky was “perfect.” That sounds like the sort of bullshit Pam Bondi would sell, not Starr and Dershowitz.

O.J., Epstein, and Weinstein all have one thing in common. Most people believe they’re guilty of everything they’ve been accused of, from murder to rape to raping minors. Which bad guy defense does Donald Trump want? Dershowitz doesn’t believe Trump did anything to be impeached. Does he also believe O.J., Epstein, and Weinstein were all innocent?

Everyone deserves to be defended. So does the United States of America. We need to be defended from Donald J. Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Starr Defense


cjones01222020

Upon hearing that Ken Starr, who probably still has files on Bill Clinton’s sex life underneath his mattress, has been appointed by Donald Trump to serve on his legal defense team for his impeachment trial next week before the United States Senate, Monica Lewinsky tweeted, “This is definitely an ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ kinda day.”

Ken Starr was the Independent Counsel who expanded an investigation into a bad land deal into President Bill Clinton’s sex life. He filed the Starr Report with a Republican Congress alleging that Clinton lied during a sworn deposition about an affair with Lewinsky which led to Congress impeaching Clinton, and ultimately a Senate trial where he was acquitted.

So yeah. Ken Starr being part of a defense that the most lying president in the history of the United States shouldn’t be impeached, years after filing a report that lying about a blowjob is, is an “are you fucking kidding me” kinda day. Ken Starr, who believed Bill Clinton should be impeached for one lie, is going to defend the guy who’s told over 15,000. For Ken Starr, using taxpayer money to extort a foreign nation and ask them to investigate a political opponent and help his reelection campaign isn’t that bad, but Oval Office B-Jays are naughty.

Ken Starr has a thing about sex. Basically, it’s bad when Democrats do it. Remember, he inherited the investigation into a bad land deal and then went to see what was in Clinton’s pants and what he had been doing with it. It must have been impressive because Ken Starr spent four years looking at it. Ken Starr spent tens of millions more on his land deal/blowjob investigation than Robert Mueller ever dreamed of, even with it being 1990s dollars.

When Ken Starr was President of Baylor University, he was forced to resign after covering up a sex scandal involving the school’s football team.

As Independent Counsel, Starr was so keen on impeaching Bill Clinton that he expanded the investigation from a bad land deal into Clinton firing employees in the White House travel office, abuse of confidential FBI files, the Clintons’ involvement with the Rose Law Firm and Madison Guaranty, Vince Foster’s suicide, Paula Jones’ lawsuit against Clinton, and finally, Clinton’s Oval Office fiddling with Monica Lewinsky. It’s a good thing Bill Clinton never wore a tan suit or put mustard on a cheeseburger.

A lot of people weren’t impressed with Ken Starr. One guy said he was “off his rocker, a “lunatic,” a “disaster,” and a “total wacko.” But Starr’s hypocrisy won’t be the only one on display since the guy who made those comments was Donald Trump.

One thing that’s been proven by Trump adding Starr to his legal defense team is that Bill Clinton’s impeachment 20 years ago was nothing but partisan bullshit.

The greatest irony in all of this is that Ken Starr filed a report about Bill Clinton lying under oath, and will now present a legal defense before a bunch of Senators who just did the same.

The 90s are back and they’re giving us Ken Starr, Alan Dershowitz, and Mambo No. 5.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Stalking Yovanovitch


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Lev Parnas, the hired goon who’s an associate of Rudy Giuliani and whom Donald Trump doesn’t know despite being in dozens of photos with, revealed through text messages with a Republican congressional candidate (this just gets better by the minute) that there were plans to stalk Marie Yovanovitch while she was serving as ambassador to Ukraine.

The Trump team, specifically Rudy Giuliani, was conducting a smear campaign to get rid of Yovanovitch. During one phone call with the president of Ukraine, Trump said that Yovanovitch was going to “go through some things.” The text messages released by the House Intelligence Committee reveal that Parnas and his friend, Robert Hyde,” were, trying to get her to “go through some things,” discussing stalking and perhaps making something else happen to her when Hyde wrote, “They are willing to help if we/you would like a price,” and “Guess you can do anything in the Ukraine with money.”

Hyde also referred to Yovanovitch as a “bitch” in multiple texts, once writing, “can’t believe Trumo hasn’t fired this b—h. I’ll get right in that.” I don’t know why he referred to Trump as “Trumo” or if that’s just a typo. He also texted about Yovanovitch’s location and the state of her security. He also said we need to “get that bitch out” and “fuck that bitch.” He later said he was just being playful because calling a woman “bitch” is funny and humorous to Republicans. Hyde is the kind of guy who makes tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions to GOP candidates while falling behind on child support payments.

This should really help Robert Hyde with the “get the bitch” demographic.

Now, Ukraine is investigating this as they feel a responsibility for a foreign ambassador’s safety. This is NOT the investigation Donald Trump wanted that nation to announce.

I am glad Ukraine cares about Yovanovitch’s safety because our Secretary of State and State Department, under the Trump regime, does not. Neither the State Department nor Mike Pompeo has issued any statements regarding this.

We killed a foreign general after one of our embassies was demonstrated against. Donald Trump cited an “imminent attack” on four as justification for assassinating the general. But someone threatens one of our ambassadors and we hear nothing?

The Ukrainian government issued a statement saying, “the published messages contain facts of possible violations of Ukrainian law and of the Vienna Convention on diplomatic relations, which protect the rights of diplomats on the territory of another state.” Where’s the statement from Mike Pompeo regarding an ambassador’s safety?

Ukraine also asked the FBI for assistance in investigating the Russian hacking of Burisma, the gas company Hunter Biden worked for. Isn’t it funny that Russia seems to be getting involved on the side of Donald Trump?

Morale is low at the State Department. Probably because its leader refuses to express any concern for the safety of its employees. Perhaps he’s afraid of angering Trump by expressing that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to Marie Yovanovitch, whom Trump, with Giuliani and her stalker, has smeared. This is another example proving that all our government agencies are only working in the personal interest of Donald Trump.

And for that matter, I haven’t heard any Republicans express concern for our ambassador. I’ve heard a bunch of them, Kellyanne Conway, for example, say Lev Parnas is unreliable because he’s indicted and just trying to help his case by cooperating, but no concern about threats against a United States ambassador. What happened to patriotism? What happened to putting nation before Trump? What happened? Do you know who else should be expressing concern for the safety of a United States ambassador? Donald fucking Trump, the president (sic) of the United States of America. The new normal is that nobody’s pointed that out yet except me, a cartoonist.

Republicans have done nothing over the past three years except excel at being horrible, vile, disgusting creatures. And because all of this is a result of electing Donald Trump, we need to get that bitch out.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.