Clay Jones

Wahoo To Warren


cjones10192018

Elizabeth Warren’s PR stunt of releasing the results of a DNA test proving she has “some” Native American in her ancestry isn’t going to help anyone. It’s not going to help Democrats in the midterm elections. It’s not going to help Warren in her 2020 presidential bid or her re-election to the Senate (though it probably won’t hurt much in Massachusetts). It won’t hurt Donald Trump because nothing ever does. Most of all, it doesn’t help actual Native Americans.

Does Warren actually have Native American in her ancestry? Yeah, sure. Does she have Native American heritage? Hell no. If you’re a white guy who grew up on 5th Avenue who suddenly discovers there’s a slight trace of African in your family history, that doesn’t make you one of the boys in the hood. There is no heritage there any more than my DNA results showing three percent from the Iberian Peninsula makes me Antonio Banderas.

There is stupid and ridiculous on both sides of this issue. Warren listed herself as Native American 30 years ago. Though there is no evidence that it helped her career as a Harvard professor, Republicans have made the accusation anyway.

Warren released a test that indicated she is anywhere between 1/64th and 1/1,024th Native American, which was followed by a campaign video of her visiting her family in Oklahoma to show she has red state roots. Designed to quell criticism over her Native American claim, this manuever has exposed her for more criticism. If nothing else, it won’t shut up Donald Trump who called a porn star he slept with “horse face” yesterday.

Warren’s claims of being Native American is the type of thing where you say “shut up already” and “let it go.” Trump’s taunts of it should receive heavier criticism and condemnation. Just like his birther campaign against Obama, Trump’s attacks on Warren are racist, and we get to add sexist on top of it. For over two years, he’s referred to her as “Pocahontas,” ignoring Native Americans who have told him that’s racist and offensive. But, this is Donald Trump. I redirect you back to the “horse face” comment.

Trump has called her DNA test “bogus,” as though he’s a scientist who administered it himself. In fact, he apparently does want to test her himself.

Trump made a promise to donate $1 million to the charity of Warren’s choice if she could prove she has Native American ancestry. Now that she does, he claims he never said it, proving his memory is another thing that’s “tiny.” To be fair, he did say he’d pay it if she took the test at a debate, and he administered it himself. That would be a really long debate as most tests take at least four weeks to produce the results. Trump doesn’t like standing in elevators. Even holding an umbrella over Melania in the rain is exhausting.

But, it wouldn’t matter if the test results proved Warren was actually a direct descendant of the real Pocahontas. Trump would keep attacking her. He would keep lying. He’d continue to be a racist, sexist asshole. It also doesn’t deliver heritage to Warren.

Cherokee Nation, which is based in Oklahoma, released a statement criticizing Warren, stating she was “undermining tribal interests” by claiming to be Native American. I agree. I think at this point, she and Trump have both made Native Americans political props.

Trump said he would pay the $1 million to Warren’s charity of choice. But, he would have to administer the test himself, which he said, “That will not be something that I enjoy doing,” Which is also a statement once made by “horse face.”

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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The Autocratic Club


cjones10182018

I’m seriously offended. I’ve drawn Donald Trump about a thousand times by now and the guy has never called me to pay a compliment on capturing his likeness. But, Andy Thomas, an artist in Missouri paints him once, and Trump gave him a phone call telling him how much he liked it. Trump praised the painting, and told Thomas that he normally doesn’t like paintings of himself, which is kinda bizarre since he’s stolen money from his charity in the past to purchase a few.

The painting, titled “The Republican Club,” has Trump surrounded by past presidents who are apparently in the thrall of being in his presence. You’d have to be a real tasteless sycophant to want such a thing which explains why Congressman Darrell Issa bought a print to give to Trump. The print made national news Sunday night as it was seen in the background of Trump’s interview on 60 Minutes.

The painting is really cool and classy if you’re into stuff like the dogs playing poker. It’d be funny if it was hanging in the White House ironically as a joke, except it’s not a joke. It’s there as a representation of the respect Trump believes he deserves, and the class where he thinks belongs.

Most people found the painting funny. There are only two presidents in the painting who are still alive besides Trump, and neither one of them can stand him. Eisenhower, Teddy Roosevelt, and Lincoln are seated at the table, and none of them would be members of today’s Republican Party. In fact, every Republican president is in the painting, most are in the background, and I’d bet that none of them would want to be in the same room as Trump, less enough pose to be in a painting with him. Nixon is probably there just so he won’t be the most hated guy in the room for once.

Trump is drinking a Diet Coke in the painting, and apparently, it’s working as he looks like he lost about 70 pounds. He also has a smile that looks more human than the one he real-life self-satisfied smile, which gives the impression he’s getting off on locking babies in prison.

The Foo Fighters hung a painting in their studio of their leader Dave Grohl sitting pompously in a fancy chair, wearing a smoking jacket, while holding a snifter of brandy and a cigar. It’s a huge joke to make fun of the guy. Dave knows it’s a joke and it’s still hanging in the studio. Only a narcissist would take it seriously. Donald Trump is taking his painting seriously.

Thomas has also done a similar painting of Obama surrounded by past Democratic presidents. I don’t think Obama hung a copy in the White House.

Thomas sells prints of the paintings on his website, and he’s a great artist in a very campy way. I’m sure The Republican Club will soon be hanging in Klan clubhouses all across the south very soon.

Now, with today’s cartoon, I just have to sit back and wait for Trump’s complimentary phone call.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

AMIRITE About Moochers?


cjones10172018

If Donald Trump has done one thing for Republicans, he’s proven them to be total frauds and that everything they’ve spent the last four decades telling us they stood for, well, they were faking it. As it turns out, Trump has proven that to be a Republican is to be a vile, despicable, hateful person without any ethics or principles.

We already knew they’re not really about cutting spending and lowering deficits. The last Republican president to cut spending was Eisenhower. The only time they talk about the deficit and scream, “Think about the children’s future,” is when a Democrat has the White House. We found out they’re not about law and order, as they defend policemen, they attack the FBI. We discovered they’re not even patriots as Republicans in Congress are scrambling to prevent us from discovering the truth about Trump and Russia and bemoaning that the FBI obtained warrants to track an alleged Russian spy. Just last week, they were crying that Brett Kavanaugh is innocent until proven guilty right before going into “lock her up” chants.

Remember that business about Benghazi? How many years were spent on how many investigations over four American deaths? It’s been a year since Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico killing 3,000 Americans and there hasn’t been one inquiry from Congress. Puerto Rico truly doesn’t have any representation in Congress.

How about the Clinton Foundation? Republicans spent a few years telling us it’s corrupt (without any facts), that it enriched the Clintons, and how wrong it was for it to accept foreign donations while Hillary was Secretary of State. Now, they ignore the fact that the Trump Foundation was a conduit for sleazy political activity and Donald Trump LITERALLY stole from charity.

They don’t care about emoluments. The same people screaming about foreign donations to Clinton’s charity are silent about Trump making profits from foreign governments. Trump says we need to be nice to Saudi Arabia after they’ve killed a permanent U.S. resident and journalist because the monarchy spends millions on U.S. arms deals. What we really need to ask Trump if it’s those millions, or the millions the Saudis have put into his and Jared Kushner’s pockets? Saudi Arabia has spent millions on buying apartments from Trump, now they and other governments spend hundreds of thousands at Trump Hotels.

We might also want to ask why revenue at Trump golf resorts have increased substantially for the ones Trump has visited as president, but revenue is down at the ones he hasn’t.

Hell, we even found out Republicans aren’t really Christians or care about family values at all. They voted for a guy who brags about grabbing pussy and has five kids from three different women. And, what sort of Christian supports throwing babies in jail? The whole concept of Christianity is great, but Christians themselves, yeah, they suck.

They also really don’t care about welfare. They pretend to worry about the system and people taking advantage of it. Their efforts to drug test recipients have been a greater expense for a bunch of nothing. The thing is, if you’ve ever criticized social welfare but have kept quiet on corporate welfare, then you, my friend, are a flaming, hypocritical racist.

Social welfare is about three percent of the federal budget, worth about $59 billion. Well guess what. Corporate welfare is five percent, worth about $92 billion. While social welfare is meant to help people who are struggling, corporate welfare is about rich assholes giving millions to other rich assholes. Do you really believe Warren Buffett needs an extra $1 million each year as a gift? That’s a lot of government cheese.

You also don’t hear conservatives upset over Trump defrauding the government of $500 million. You don’t want people ripping off the government unless they’re old rich white guys. This story has been out for a week yet Republicans have been mostly silent on it. For a bunch of people telling us about Clinton corruption, they’re mum on actual corruption when it’s from Donald Trump and his family.

It makes perfect sense that Republicans are frauds and liars. The man they’ve abandoned everything for is also a fraud and a liar. Everything they believe about Trump is a lie. Everything they accuse others of always describes Donald Trump. They’ve bought into an ugly, hateful, racist image. They’ve proven the point of being a Republican is to be a shitweasel.

When you say you actually believe in something, you should also practice it. Sure, it’s easier to talk the talk than it is to walk it, but the people who lead us into the future should be the ones who walk it. The fate of the country should be in the hands of and decided by people with principles and ethics, not the lying assholes.

Amirite?

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Angry Mob In Costa Rica


crsta10052018

This cartoon was first published in The Costa Rica Star October 5, 2018.

The strikes are winding down in Costa Rica and this week’s cartoon may be the last on the subject…maybe.

I did this cartoon before the “angry mob” narrative was started in the U.S. by Republicans. In Costa Rica, there actually were angry mobs threatening the life of the president as he was at a theater. You might need to know a little about U.S. history to get this cartoon.

Here’s the video.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Butt In Georgia…


cjones10162018

Republicans cheat.

While Republicans like Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, and Lindsey Graham scream about the Democrats’ thirst for power, they ram through a Supreme Court Justice without a thorough background check on the guy, after they stole a SCOTUS seat and lowered the number of votes needed for confirmation.

While they scream about imaginary illegal immigrants and dead people voting and the sanctity elections, they ignore Russian meddling and work to suppress the votes of minorities.

Republicans in Waller County, Texas have been trying to keep students at Prairie View A&M University from voting since the 1970s. While the county is almost 60% white, Prairie View is a historically black university with nearly 10,000 students.

Students are allowed to vote where they go to school, whether it’s Prairie View or Harvard. Students at Prairie View were given two university addresses to use for voter registration. Then, the county changed their mind and said all of those registered at the “wrong” address wouldn’t be able to vote.

When Democratic congressional candidate Mike Siegel sent a field director to the county courthouse to deliver a letter demanding the county update the status of students, he was arrested for “disturbing the peace.” This was after the arresting officer asked him which party he was from.

In North Dakota, about 2,300 Native Americans were just prevented from voting. Many Native Americans in North Dakota can’t have mail delivered to a physical address (because the U.S. postal service does not provide residential delivery to their rural Indian communities), so they use post office boxes. Those addresses are on their IDs. North Dakota and the Supreme Court has agreed, that if a physical address is not on the ID, then they can’t vote. This is why we don’t want Republicans putting people on the Supreme Court.

In Alabama, the state shut down DMVs in rural (mostly black) communities, forcing residents to travel to get IDs. This has since been reversed, but the cheaters tried.

In Georgia, Democrat Stacey Abrams is running for governor against Republican Brian Kemp. Abrams is the first African-American to win a party nomination for the seat in that state.  At this point, polls have the race in a dead heat.

But, Georgia’s Secretary of State has put over 53,000 voter registrations on hold, citing a stupid “exact match” verification policy. The “exact match” policy holds that a resident’s voter application must replicate the information on file with the Social Security Administration and the state’s Department of Driver Services. So, if there’s one slight difference, say a hyphen in a name or the address uses “road” instead of “Rd,” then it’s flagged or put on hold.

Did I forget to mention that Georgia’s Secretary of State is…wait for it…Brian Kemp, the Republican running for governor?

Republicans cheat, even in red states where they have the advantage. Republicans hold all three branches of government despite representing fewer Americans than Democrats. Republicans need to cheat with fuckery like gerrymandering and voter suppression to actually win. It’s the only way it works for them.

If you’re an American citizen, you should have the right to vote. Nobody should get in your way. You shouldn’t have to go through an obstacle course to practice your constitutional right. I swear, for a bunch of “constitutionalists,” as they claim they are, Republicans sure seem to hate the document.

If you are unsure, or just to be sure, go to vote.org and check your registration status. Don’t be surprised on Election Day at the polls because you never know if some Republican hasn’t screwed with your life while you were sleeping, or he was distracting you with some other bullshit, because Republicans are bastard covered bastards with a bastard crème filling.

If you care more about imaginary crap like illegal immigrants and ghosts voting and have no concern at all about suppressing the votes of minorities, you’re a hypocrite and a racist. Get off your ass and vote, and don’t get in someone else’s way while you’re doing it.

Creative note: Yes, I have done the peach/butt gag twice before. Once last July and another time last year. Maybe now I’ll get tired of it.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Kanye Blows


cjones10152018

Whenever I come across a Trump supporter, I ask myself, “What the hell is wrong with this person?” Everything a Trump lover loves about Donald Trump is a lie. They bought a false image. Everything they claim they hate about Hillary Clinton perfectly fits Donald Trump. Everything, except for the vagina.

But, whatever is afflicting Trump sycophants has hit Kanye West with a double whammy, and then some. There’s something seriously messed up about Kanye. For this intelligent man (Yes. He is intelligent) to allow himself to be used as a prop by Donald Trump, there has to be something seriously wrong.

Yesterday, Trump entertained Kanye in the Oval Office, or maybe Kanye entertained him. Kanye talked for ten minutes and Trump didn’t speak at all. Seriously. For the first time ever, Trump was not the biggest ego sucking all the air out of the room. During Kanye’s rant, Trump had the same expression I have each time I have to watch one of his rallies.

For ten minutes, Kanye spoke without interruption about an alternate universe, Larry Hoover, growing up without a father, Superman, Saturday Night Live, Hillary’s slogan versus Trump’s slogan, his MAGA hat, the Yeezy effect, sleep deprivation, mental illness, abolishing the 13th Amendment, and hydrogen airplanes, all in one sentence.

Sitting in the Oval Office, Kanye said “bullshit” and dropped the Queen Elizabeth of all curse words, even adding the “mother” to it. He gave Trump a hug. He said the MAGA hat made him feel like Superman.

He said he couldn’t get with Hillary’s “I’m with her,” because he grew up without a father to play catch with, and Trump made him feel like a man. Sheesh. Couldn’t the guy had just found a cornfield where he could play baseball with a bunch of ghosts? It worked for Kevin Costner.

He also opened up his iPhone (I thought that stuff wasn’t allowed in the Oval) and was caught on camera typing in his password, “000000.” I’m thinking numbers in any other order would be too confusing for a Trump supporter. Hackers all over the nation immediately attacked his bank and social media accounts trying the combination “1234.” Also, since his phone was probably hacked before he finished speaking, we’re all going to see his penis by noon.

Seriously, this was extremely shameful. Instead of managing the response to Hurricane Michael, which hit the Florida panhandle Wednesday, Trump went to a rally. Yesterday, instead of dealing with the hurricane or Saudi Arabia’s murder of a journalist, he took advantage of Kanye’s mental illness for a political photo-op. That’s because Donald Trump has no shame. He is a vile, repugnant piece of human excrement. At least, we think it’s human.

Trump believes peoples are monolithic. If Kanye supports him, then that means all black people will support him. But, maybe he’s right about the monolithic thing.

If Kanye supports Trump, that means only crazy people support Trump.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Enemy Of The Saudi People


cjones10142018

The United States is a beacon of freedom for the rest of the world. We present an example that encourages other nations to follow. Past presidents have been champions and ambassadors of American freedom. It’s what the world expects from us. Citizens in oppressed nations need to hear it from our leaders.

Our most important freedom is freedom of the press. That’s why it’s in the First Amendment, and not the Second. Journalism is the only profession explicitly protected by the United States Constitution. While supporters of Donald Trump rejoice in having a president who is a “Constitutionalist,” he says, “It’s frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write, and people should look into it.”

Trump calls the press “fake news” and the “enemy of the American people.” He’s targeted specific journalists from Katy Tur to Jim Acosta for bullying and harassment. Journalists have received death threats mimicking Trump’s language and even adding “MAGA” to their promises of violence. A major news network recently received a threat stating, “I swear allegiance to my leader, and he says you’re fake news, you’re the enemy. I must rid the country of you because you’re the enemy of the people.” One Trump supporter threatened to travel to the offices of The Boston Globe and commit a mass shooting. Apparently, Trump sycophants aren’t the only ones inspired by his free press hating rhetoric.

The government of Saudi Arabia is accused of killing a Saudi citizen, journalist for The Washington Post and resident of Virginia, Jamal Khashoggi. The Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman, is suspected of ordering the murder of Khashoggi. Mohammed and the Saudi government were not discouraged by the United States from murdering a journalist, even after U.S. intelligence intercepted the prince’s plans to lure Khashoggi back to Saudi Arabia.

Last week, Khashoggi was lured into the Saudi consulate in Istanbul, Turkey and he never left, at least not alive. The Turkish government has accused Saudi Arabia of murdering the journalist, flying his body out of the country, and that they even hacked him into several pieces.

Khashoggi was a prominent critic of the Saudi government, and many within it would probably describe him as an “enemy of the Saudi people” who wrote “fake news.” Why would the Crown Prince be discouraged by America from murdering a journalist when the president of the United States calls the press the enemy?

The Saudi’s may also believe there would be no repercussions from the Trump administration. Saudi Arabia was the first nation to receive a visit from a President Trump. They lavished praise on him, blasted his image on jumbotrons across Riyadh, and even treated him to a sword dance. Mohammed has become a close friend to Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner, often engaging in private phone conversations that are not on any public record, and striking concern within the U.S. intelligence community. Mohammed has been quoted as saying Jared is “in his pocket.”

Mohammed initiated a crackdown against many in his nation perceived to be a threat to his power, which included arresting a Trump critic. Donald Trump praised the move.

If Saudi Arabia is responsible for the death of Khashoggi then the United States must implement sanctions against them, which would include individuals. How will Donald and Jared handle leveling punishment to their good buddy Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman?

There are a lot of things Trump doesn’t understand. The Nuclear Triad, why we have troops in South Korea, words on paper, etc. I don’t expect him to understand why press freedom is important or that he bears responsibility when people threaten and attack journalists while screaming his catchphrases. Trump will never understand what it means to be presidential as he’s still operating as a con man.

The United States needs a leader who will stand up to those who threaten freedom, from Saudi Arabia to Vladimir Putin. Donald Trump needs to demand Saudi Arabia to explain what happened to Jamal Khashoggi. We need a leader who will put the nation and our values before himself.

We also need a leader who isn’t a coward.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.