Clay Jones

Evil Flying Hater Poop Machines


Cjones05082021

If you’re still having a public squabble and hissy fit over being banned from Facebook, you don’t deserve to be president. And that’s the topic I originally intended to cover today, but after this flying monkey idea flew into my head, I couldn’t let it go.

Liz Cheney is most likely going to lose her leadership position in the House because Donald Trump has sent his flying monkeys to destroy her. Accidentally speaking on a hot mic, Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy made it clear he wants her gone. If he wants her gone, she’s gone. And all of this is because she won’t support the “Big Lie” that the election was stolen from Trump or the talking point he’s not responsible for all the MAGA terrorists attacking the Capitol.

While Liz Cheney won’t goosestep with her cult, er…party regarding the Big Lie and its support of white nationalist terrorism, she is in lockstep with them on virtually every other issue.

Her party doesn’t have a problem that she opposes same-sex marriage, which she does despite having a lesbian sister.

Her party doesn’t have an issue that she wants the grey wolf taken off the endangered species list. She also opposed the grizzly bear being returned to the Endangered Special Act, saying it wasn’t based on “science or facts.” She favors murdering endangered animals and raping national parks for energy companies.

She joined her party in accusing FBI agent Peter Strzok of planning a “coup” against then-candidate Trump in 2016. While she voted to impeach Trump in 2020, she voted against the first one despite him being guilty of asking a foreign nation to meddle and help his reelection.

Liz Cheney was more than fine with Trump’s family-separation policy at the border. She never spoke out against parents losing their children, babies being thrown into detention centers, or children being forced to go to court alone to defend themselves. She loves Donald Trump’s racist border wall.

She never questioned Donald Trump’s grifting of our government. She never went after him when he chose Putin over U.S. Intelligence.

She didn’t oppose Trump’s Muslim ban.

When Turkey invaded Kurdish territory in Syria attacking our allies after Trump pulled U.S. troops out of the area, Cheney blamed the invasion on Democrats’ impeachment of Trump.

She supports Israel annexing more of Palestine.

Cheney called for the Trump Justice Department to investigate foreign meddling by Russia and China to influence, not the 2016 presidential election, but environmental groups like the Sierra Club, Sea Change, and the National Resources Defense Counsil.

Liz Cheney is anti-choice, anti-healthcare, anti-education, anti-environment, anti-civil rights, anti-women’s rights, anti-gun control, and anti-social security. She may oppose the Big Lie, but I haven’t heard her oppose changing voting laws, designed to make voting harder for black voters, based on the Big Lie.

Trump might be angry at her, but she supported Donald Trump giving himself a huge tax cut. She opposes corporations paying more in taxes…or in most cases, any taxes.

And while she opposes the conspiracy theories that Donald Trump won the 2020 election, she has supported the conspiracy theories that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya. She once gave the keynote address at a dinner hosted by the Center for Security Policy, which is a conspiracy group that’s been labeled as a hate group, and is led by Frank Gaffney, who once compared Muslims to termites. Cheney never criticized him for comparing human beings to termites.

As the flying monkeys swarm over Liz Cheney, keep in mind…she’s a flying monkey too. She just pissed off the Wicked Witch.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Roughs, Volume 89


I apologize. I thought I already posted these roughs. These are from the week before last. If I’m going crazy and I did already post these, let’s blame it on a vaccine side effect. 

CNNrough1196

I like this idea and I almost drew a variation of it. As usual, it got away from me. I can just wait until President Biden’s next first 100 days.

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This was another take on the same subject. I like it much less.

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This is the rough that became an official CNN cartoon. I was so happy they picked this one because it’s so weird. Also, I wanted to make cat lovers happy.

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This also turned into a cartoon I was very happy with.

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This one also turned into a real cartoon. This triggered a LOT of responses.

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This isn’t very good.

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This is OK but I like the next one better.

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This turned into a real cartoon. My readers loved it on social media and a lot of clients ran with it. It also triggered a lot of responses.

There will be another post of roughs sooner than usual. I’ll make it later tonight or tomorrow. It has a lot more drawings than this one.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Vaccine Incentives


Cjones05072021

A little over 30 percent of the population of the United States has been vaccinated. According to the Center for Disease Control, 105,523,520 of us had been vaccinated by 6:00 AM, May 3. Since I got my second vaccination yesterday, we are at least at 105,523,521. Now, President Joe Biden wants 70 percent of us to have received at least one shot by July 4th, making that day not just a celebration of American independence, but also independence from COVID19.

Only problem with reaching that goal is there are not enough of us wanting the vaccine. Supplies of vaccines are not the problem. Demand is. Let’s not be like India, which exported more vaccines than it was giving to its population.

Everyone who wanted the vaccine before the rollout has probably received at least one shot by now. There are all sorts of reasons why people refuse to get the vaccine. Some refuse out of politics and others refuse out of fear. All of it’s misplaced. You probably have a greater chance of dying from whatever you’re doing right now than from receiving the vaccine. For the record, nobody has died from reading this blog yet.

Last night, I was watching the handoff from Chris Cuomo’s show to Don Lemon’s on CNN. That’s my favorite part of the night. During this one, they both said they wanted to see incentives for people who have received the vaccine. This is very unpopular with the MAGAts but I think it’s a wonderful idea.

Some states and businesses are offering incentives. Some Dunkin Donuts locations are offering free donuts. I saw somewhere that Budweiser is offering a free beer. If you’re a genuine beer lover, you should get the vaccine despite that.

State employees in Maryland are getting $100 for being vaxxed which is like when my former employer offered every smoker a hundred bucks to quit that filthy habit…back when newspapers had a hundred bucks. The city of Detroit is giving a prepaid debit card worth $50 to anyone giving someone else a ride to get the vax. New Jersey is offering a shot (a whiskey shot, dummy) and a beer to everyone getting the vax. In Los Angeles, a City Council member and a multi-faith cultural arts center is offering a free bag of produce which doesn’t sound enticing at all unless that produce is the Devil’s Lettuce.

Dr. Megan Ranney, an emergency physician at Brown University who specializes in public health research, said, “As humans we often respond better to carrots than sticks.” Still, I think we should take some sticks and beat those fuckers refusing to get the vax.

While these incentives are being promoted, what’s being overlooked is that the vaccine is already free. Nobody is giving you a free toaster to open a bank account here. They’re offering incentives for a free vaccine to save your life, the lives of people around you, and your country.

The biggest whiners, those screaming about “liberating” the country, and that their freedom has been assaulted because they have to wear a face mask to Jiffy Lube are the same exact people refusing to get the vaccine. Some Republicans are also making legislation to hurt the rollout. Florida’s dumbass racist governor, Ron DeSantis, is making vaccine passports illegal in his backward state. We should have vaccine passports.

By the way, all I got yesterday for getting the vax was a rubber wristband reading, “Got the shot.” Is that enough proof to get me into New York City?

What Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo were talking about is that people who have received the vaccine should actually be treated better. I agree.

I got the vaccine. I had to take two trips out of my schedule to do it. I did it for myself but I also did it for my community and my nation. Does that make me a hero and a patriot? Why, yes. Yes it does. Does it make me better than those refusing to get the vaccine? Once again, yes it does.

People who care about other people are better than those who don’t. If you’re a jerk who only thinks about himself, yes. We are better than you. And I’m normally a pretty selfish guy. Ask my ex-girlfriend.

People who are getting the vaccine know that reaching herd immunity will open the nation faster. It will get us back to normal, or at least something close to it. We’re not doing it just for ourselves. People refusing to do so are being selfish.

I had an online conversation with one of my conservative colleagues recently and every reason he gave for not being vaccinated was about him. He thought it was too much of a risk to HIM and said that HE didn’t need it. Nobody was going to tell HIM what to do because HE was a freedom lover. He didn’t once mention anyone else. He’s a selfish asshole.

So, when I and that selfish asshole get to the gate at the airport at the same time, they should let me on first. When we get to a restaurant at the same time, I should be seated first. Maybe make an incentive that everyone at the airport who hasn’t been vaxxed gets a body cavity search. Maybe at Amtrak stations too…and restaurants. At Taco Bell, you’ll be screaming, “That’s not a chalupa!”

I’m not making this about me. I’m making this about all of us.

Those of us trying to get back to normal, who are doing our part, should get some perks. Not because we’re awesome but because, quite frankly, we’re a lot safer to deal with…in addition to being awesome. If I owned a restaurant, I would rather seat vaccinated people than contaminated motherfuckers.

I’m not saying red carpets should be rolled out for us…just that we should come first because we did more. If you’re in a boat lost at sea with a crew, and everybody helps paddle to shore except for one jerk, then that jerk should be made to get off the boat last, if not thrown overboard. The people refusing to be vaccinated are not helping the country, but they sure are the loudest about it.

If you really want this nation to reopen, to be “liberated,” then get the fucking vax, you whiny ass baby. Also, stop wearing your face mask with your nose sticking out. That’s just obnoxious and it really pisses me off.

And everyone who does get the vax should be given a bag of produce…a bag of rotten produce to pelt the anti-vaxxers.

Personal note: I have never had a churro but it seems like everybody loves them.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Liz-Aid


Cjones05062021

I have to get my second vaccination this morning. I’m going to do that first, get a money order for my rent, then return and write today’s blog…if I’m not on my ass. Check back later today.

It’s later today:

Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy wants his party to retake the House in 2022. He believes the only way to do that, isn’t just by enabling Donald Trump’s lies, but attacking anyone who speaks against his lies.

The GOP already has gerrymandering to help them retake the House. Red states like Texas, Florida, and North Carolina are getting new congressional seats and that will help them too. They’re changing voting laws to make it more difficult for black people to vote, which will also help them. So you would think McCarthy wouldn’t need to debase himself by groveling to the Trump base. Except, McCarthy is a Republican and most of that party has abandoned principles.

And it’s not just members of the House engaging in the Big Lie that Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen from him. Senator Mitt Romney was booed last week at a Republican event in his home state of Massachusetts, or Utah…or whichever one it is this week. They booed him because he voted to convict Donald Trump.

Republicans are pushing the Big Lie and gaslighting the January 6 terrorist attack on the Capitol that Donald Trump instigated. While Democrats want an independent commission to study the attack, McCarthy and Republicans want to deflect by making Black Lives Matter and Antifa “violence” a part of the study.

Here’s a fact: The attack on the Capitol was conducted by white racist terrorists instigated by Donald Trump and Black Lives Matter and Antifa didn’t have a damn thing to do with it.

If Republicans have their way, an independent commission to study the attack on the Capitol will be about as independent as the Arizona recount being recounted by Republicans, Trump goons, GOP candidates who are on the ballots they’re counting, and MAGA terrorists.

Now, Wyoming’s lone representative, Liz Cheney, daughter of Daick, is demanding that the party have principles. Keep in mind, this is a person who verbally attacked LGBTQ in order to get elected and has a lesbian sister. But for Republicans, this is about as ethical as it gets.

The party that cries about “cancel culture” now want to cancel Liz Cheney. Cheney is speaking out against the Big Lie, saying the election wasn’t stolen, and the Capitol attack was Donald Trump’s fault. She said Donald Trump’s false claims are “poisoning our democratic system.” That might be where she messed up because Republicans care more about conspiracy theories than about our democratic system.

Cheney is the number three Republican in the House and survived a vote to remove her a few months ago after voting to impeach Trump. Reportedly, another vote may come up and this time, she’s not expected to survive. Matt Gaetz, before his sex scandal hit, even went to Wyoming in an ugly suit with his hair sticking up like Cameron Diaz’s in “There’s Something about Mary,” to campaign against her. Why is everything with that guy icky?

Steve Scalise, the number two guy, said about Cheney, “This idea that you just disregard President Trump is not where we are — and frankly, he has a lot to offer still.” The idea Steve Scalise can’t disregard a flagrant liar like Donald Trump who engineered a bloody coup attempt, is now where this country should be.

Today, Kevin McCarthy said on Fox News that any effort to get rid of Cheney isn’t about her vote to impeach Trump, but her “ability to carry out the job as conference chair, to carry out the message.” That message is a message of bullshit.

Right now, there is more criticism and condemnation of Liz Cheney for speaking her mind than there is for Matt Gaetz, or Qanon fucknuts Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert. Next year, you can expect Donald Trump to rally against Liz Cheney in her reelection attempt. Right now, Cheney is fighting for her leadership position, but she may not even have a seat in the next Congress while lunatics like Gaetz, Greene, Boebert, and Jim Jordan are still there.

Kevin McCarthy doesn’t not have principles, ethics, or integrity. He attempted to exercise some integrity by blaming Trump for the terrorist attack, then quickly back-peddled when Trump expressed outrage. Then, he flew down to Mar-a-Lago for a Trump photo-op. McCarthy is a coward. He doesn’t actually believe the election lie. He knows Trump lost and Biden won, but he’s too much of a coward to state the truth. He’ll repeat any Trump lie to regain the House. He is worst than your average everyday enabler. He’s a party to the party of lies.

The majority of the party believe Trump won and the election was stolen. They’re idiots.

For me, the Democratic Party is not the solution to everything. I am a liberal but not a partisan. There are plenty of problems with the Democrats and they will never have my loyalty. But the Republican Party has stopped being one that’s just opposite on the ideas, but they’ve become a cult.

The Republican Party would take the presidency, the House, and the Senate, and then stack the courts, despite the fact fewer Americans will vote for them. They don’t care how they get power, just so long as they get it. And they don’t just oppose civil rights, free speech, a free press, women’s rights, reproductive rights, and wanna fuck with elections. No. They have become a party obsessed with worshipping a racist reality TV show host with a dead bleached skunk on his head and who supports terrorists.

The Republican Party will never be a party we can take seriously until they stop being the party of cult worship. And the cult of personality they’re worshiping is a very stupid personality at that.

The people enabling a lying racist who tried to overturn an election through a bloody coup attempt are the ones who should be up against the wall, not the person telling the truth.

Creative note: I know! It was Flavor-Aid. Every time I draw a Kool-Aid cartoon, someone wants to show off their big brain and inform all of us it was Flavor-Aid used in the mass suicide of Jim Jones’ cult. Actually, I have read it was both….but anyway, “Flavor-Aid” does not work for the cartoon. Informing me it was Flavor-Aid is almost as annoying as complaining about the ads on this site. If I see an ad for Flavor-Aid, I’m gonna lose it.

Also, I stared at this idea for about an hour this morning until I gave up on waiting for a better idea. Walking back from the clinic, I got an idea I like a lot better. I’m really kicking myself for not doing that one even though this cartoon has over 300 shares on Facebook.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tainted Love Ballots


Cjones05052021

“Some very interesting things are happening in Arizona.” That’s the most honest thing Donald Trump has said in a long time.

Saying his goodbyes at Mar-a-Lago to whoever might actually give a flying shit before he leaves his summer compound for his New Jersey compound (the illegal immigrants he’s hired are probably pretty psyched to watch him waddle out of there), Donald Trump spoke as if a biased, partisan, and fraudulent recount conducted by Qanon fucks and MAGA terrorists would somehow reinsert him into the White House.

President Joe Biden won Arizona. Democrat Mark Kelly also won the United States Senate seat in Arizona, joining his party colleague, Kyrsten Sinema. Republicans won a fight to recount ballots in Maricopa County despite it being six months after the election. Republicans can not overturn the results in Arizona and even if they did, it wouldn’t overturn the results of the national election. Joe Biden is president and he’s going to remain president for the next four years.

This recount is nothing except Republican fuckery.

Donald Trump said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if they found thousands and thousands and thousands of votes.” You mean, “finding” votes like he wanted officials in Georgia to find? You know…just making shit up. Looking at who’s doing the counting, I wouldn’t be surprised either if they “found” votes.

Trump also said, “After that we’ll watch Pennsylvania, and you watch Georgia, then you’re going to watch Michigan and Wisconsin, and you’re watching New Hampshire. They found a lot of votes up in New Hampshire just now…you saw that?” No. I did not see that. Probably because it didn’t happen.

And once again, Trump said, “This was a rigged election, everybody knows it, and we’re going to be watching it very closely.” No, it was NOT a rigged election, but this recount in Maricopa County is rigged.

The recount in Maricopa County is NOT being conducted by the state. It’s not even being conducted by the Republican Party. It’s being run by Cyber Ninjas. Who? What? Cyber Ninjas is a company that has less real-world experience conducting recounts as they do at being actual ninjas. I would have more faith in the late Chris Farley’s Beverly Hills Ninja.

In fact, real ninjas should sue Cyber Ninjas for defamation, as these Republican nutless monkeys are giving ninjas a bad name…and also poorly representing actual nutless monkeys.

Cyber Ninjas is not like Dominion Voting Systems. Dominion Voting Systems is a non-partisan company that has years of experience operating voting machines Cyber Ninjas is totally partisan and has zero experience with recounts. They’ve never done it before. Ever. Never. Ever. Never.

Never.

Cyber Ninjas is owned by a nutless monkey Trump goon named Doug Logan who engages in Qanon conspiracy theories. Doug Logan tweeted months ago that a recount in Arizona would find “hundreds of thousands” of votes for Donald Trump. Also, Cyber Ninjas is from Florida. You don’t want nutless monkey Florida fuckery fucking with your ballots. In case you missed it, the guy running the show told us months ago what the results would be before he ever saw any evidence. How does anyone, especially a judge, see that this recount will be fair?

One of the nutless monkeys doing the recount is former Arizona state representative Anthony Kern. Kern was at the Capitol building in the nation’s capital on January 6 engaging in fuckery to overturn the government. There is an actual terrorist in Arizona counting ballots.

And, this partisan recount isn’t open which is funny because Republicans are always screaming about having their observers present during recounts. Arizona Republic (that’s a newspaper despite being owned by Gannett) reporter Ryan Randazzo was ejected from the recount operation after taking photos of Anthony Kern.

It gets even more corrupt. Anthony Kern is recounting ballots that have his name on them. That nutless monkey fucker was in a three-way race, lost, coming in third, and now he’s recounting ballots for his own election. How long has Arizona been Florida? There was more integrity with Putin’s election than with this recount. We need to send Jimmy Carter to oversee this shit.

I have two questions. Why are they using UV Lights on these ballots? These assholes haven’t answered that question. And, why is this happening? Why are partisan assholes with zero experience recounting ballots? Why are these buttmunches even allowed to put their grubby mitts on official ballots? And is love goo on ballots strictly an Arizona thing? And if that is a thing, wouldn’t you NOT want to know this?

How would you feel if a partisan corporation with zero experience was pawing all over your ballot? How would you feel if that corporation was full of pro-Hillary zealots? I sure Republicans would be totally fine with that (in case you couldn’t detect it, that was sarcasm).

So why is this recount happening? The Arizona state Senate subpoenaed Maricopa County’s ballots and vote tabulation machines so it could audit the results that showed Biden winning in Arizona, which Trump supporters say occurred because of fraud (which again, is a lie).

So, the state senate won the right to have a recount, and they hired Cyber Ninjas, which is a partisan company with no experience. Former Republican Arizona secretary of state, Ken Bennett, is acting as the senate’s liason to the recount. Bennett said, “We are going to be able to tell every Arizonan in a few weeks that they can have complete integrity and trust in their elections, or we have some parts of the election that need to be improved.” Really? Complete integrity from a recount conducted by a partisan company with zero experience and consisting of Trump goons and terrorists in complete secrecy?

Senate attorney Kory Langhofer told a judge during a challenge to the recount that oversight wasn’t needed because no personally identifiable information was on the ballots. OK…but how about oversight so that we know the results aren’t just made up? That they didn’t just magically “find” votes in the way Trump asked Georgia Republicans to find votes? Also, how can anyone ever believe anything a Trump supporter ever says? Spoiler alert: You can’t.

A judge refused to kill the recount, but did rule that Cyber Ninjas must make its “procedures” public. What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean they can keep “counting” in secret and only have to tell us the “procedure?”

For all we know, the procedure is a vampire muppet with a UV light doing the counting, saying, “And a one….Ha. Ha. Ha. And a two…Ha. Ha Ha.”

Also, in case you missed it, we still don’t know why the recount is even happening. The use of UV lights hasn’t been explained. Why the GOP gets to conduct it hasn’t been explained. Why a partisan company full of Trump zealots and terrorists with zero recount experience has been hired to conduct the operation hasn’t been explained. Why someone who is on a ballot is allowed to recount the ballots hasn’t been explained. And, why this is even happening at all hasn’t been explained.

If anything, shouldn’t the state be conducting the recount, and not a political party, specifically the one that lost and has been spreading conspiracy theories? I mean, why don’t we just let the makers of Eurovision Song Contest recount the Oscar vote for best song? Don’t surprised if they find the actual winner is “Ja-Ja Dingdong.”

Also, if they do this recount in Florida, where they’re from, and run across Matt Gaetz’s ballot with a UV light, I hope they’re wearing gloves because that thing will look like a Jackson Pollock painting.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Searching For Borat


CNN05022021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I had several ideas involving Rudy and Borat last week and this is what I went with for CNN. But I may want to do a Borat cartoon for my clients just because it’s too much fun. So, you have been warned.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

World Press Freedom Day, 2021


Cjones05042021

The watchdog group, the Committee to Protect Journalists, issued a report that at least 30 journalists were killed worldwide last year. Other agencies have the number as high as 50. Afghanistan and Mexico are considered the most dangerous places in the world for a journalist to work. Four journalists in Mexico were assassinated in 2020 and another was gunned down while reporting from a crime scene.

A television and radio reporter was fatally shot while on her way to work in Afghanistan last December. Iran executed a journalist for reporting on anti-government protests in 2017. Three journalists were murdered in the Philippines. Journalists face threats from criminals and corrupt governments.

Journalists aren’t just murdered. They’re thrown in prison. At least 274 journalists were imprisoned in 2020 in places like China, Turkey (which is a member of NATO and supposed to be a democracy), Egypt, Russia, Belarus, Ethiopia, Saudi Arabia, and oh yeah…the United States.

Don’t forget the murder of Washington Post reporter Jamal Khashoggi in Turkey by the government of Saudi Arabia in 2018. Our president (sic) at the time ignored it and our current president issued sanctions that were like, as Alexander Lemtov said while Lars Erickssong was punching him in Eurovision, with “silky kitty fists in marshmallow boxing gloves.”

The oppression of journalists is the legacy of Donald Trump. At least 34 were arrested globally for reporting “false news.” A lot of it was for exposing a government’s failure responding to the coronavirus pandemic. Here in the United States, the bastion of freedom, 110 journalists were arrested, most while covering protests against police violence.

Reporters Without Borders has an index for World Press Freedom where it ranks countries. Where does the United States, the champion of freedom, democracy, and liberty, land on the index for World Press Freedom? The U.S. comes in at 44. However, we are number one in the amount rednecks shouting, “Murica” and claiming we’re the greatest country in the world. Also, I think we win at hot dog eating contests (champion Joey Chestnut ate 75 hot dogs in ten minutes. He’s also a bratwurst, chicken wing, corned-beef sandwich, and poutine-eating champion. See the type of wormholes I go down for my readers?).

Press freedom is a larger and more important symbol of American exceptionalism than baseball, apple pie, mom, Chevrolet, and even hot dogs. Yes, even Nathan hot dogs.

The thing is, kids, you can’t be a great country without press freedom. Donald Trump and Republicans want to destroy that. Even as goon networks like Fox News, One America News, and Newsmax attack freedom of the press, it’s the Constitutional guarantee of freedom of the press that allows them to make claims like the election was stolen or Joe Biden wants to ban hamburgers.

Some outlets take press freedom seriously. The Washington Post, The New York Times, and NBC each issued corrections after reporting Rudy Giuliani received advance warning from the FBI he was the target of a Russian influence campaign. He did not get those. After reporting multiple times Joe Biden wants to ban hamburgers, Fox News mumbled a correction that wasn’t a correction (it was one of those, “We’re sorry if you thought that”). Later, the leading Republican in the House of Representatives, Kevin McCarthy, went on Hannity and made the bogus claim again. Despite the network previously stating it was a lie and kinda-sorta giving a correction, Hannity did not correct McCarthy. I’m just worried they’re going to alarm Joey Chestnut that hot dogs are next.

If Republicans had their way, guys like me would be in prison, not for reporting lies but for reporting and covering what they don’t want to hear. Or, maybe even throw us in jail for making fun of them.

In Bangladesh, Kabir Kishore, a cartoonist, has been in prison for drawing about the coronavirus pandemic and posting “rumors” about the pandemic that could “cause an unrest.” Here in the U.S, we have goons like Bob Gorrell, Gary Varvel, Mike Lester, Michael Ramirez, Gary McCoy, Chip Bok, A.F. Branco, and the most notorious of the goons, Ben Garrison (if you’re a right-wing cartooning goon and I left you out, my apologies), creating cartoons daily that are based on lies, conspiracy theories, and total and utter complete bullshit. Guess how many of those guys are in prison?

None of our right-wing goose-stepping cartooning goons should be in prison for lying because we have freedom of the press. But they should recognize the freedoms they have and not abuse it. The editors putting them on their pages should stop abusing it. Also, maybe the syndicates (I’m looking at you too, Counterpoint) selling these guys should stop pushing all content based on lies. The most ironic thing is, which they don’t catch because conservatives don’t detect irony, is that it’s freedom of the press that allows them to attack the press…while being members of the press. I know. It’s fucking surreal.

CNN’s Omar Jimenez was arrested on live TV for reporting on protests in the wake of the police murder of George Floyd. Jimenez is a black journalist so it was a twofer for the Minnesota State Police. This should not happen in the United States of America. But here in “Murica,” we just spent the past four years with a wannabe-fascist president (sic) who encouraged his white nationalist rally goers to assault the members of the press covering the hate rallies.

We need to protect journalists worldwide. Because we’re ranked 44 on press freedom, we need to start at home. A good way to start would be if “journalists” could stop attacking journalism. They can also start by stop giving TV shows to politicians’ fascist surrogates.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Anti-Vaxxer Paradise


Cjones05032021

I’ll write a blog for this cartoon later today. It’s the first of the month (in case you’re a Republican, May), and I need to get to my post office and I’d like to do it before noon.

Other than that, both of my proofers, Hilary and Laura, had very strong reactions to today’s cartoon. I acknowledge, this is terrible.

Now for the blog:

I got an Uber to my post office and made it within a minute of the window closing. As it turned out, I didn’t need it but you never know. Sometimes I have package or the mail ladies have put someone else’s mail into my box. Anyway, I decided to stop at a bar to write this and get some food afterward. As I got to the bar, I discovered stools were back at the bar.

See, over the past year, there has been no sitting at bars in Virginia. What this means is, you sit at a table away from the bar and you’re supposed to be six feet apart from other people. If you want to meet a bunch of covid deniers, go to a bar.

Bars have been forced to comply with state covid rules. Of course, they hate that. Covid has hurt their business just as it’s hurt everyone else’s business. But bars have taken it personally. I can see why they want to be covid deniers since they have often been hotspots.

As I came into this bar, I asked about the seats at the bar, and the bartender told me it was OK now. These stools are not six feet apart and I know that rule is still in effect. I asked about this and she said, “Yeah, but we don’t care.”

That’s it right there. They don’t care. They don’t care about quarantines, social distance, or face masks and they’re all forms of oppression being inflicted by a Marxist government and the entire experience is worse than the Holocaust…if you listen to these people. On top of all that, they’re anti-vaxxers.

People have different reasons to oppose the vaccine. When I ask someone while I’m out in public (which is not often) if they’ve have or plan to get vaccinated, my question is usually met with resistance. I try not to challenge them and explain that I’m just taking a personal poll. I haven’t talked to anyone in person who is afraid of microchips in the vaccine and is waging a political war against it. Every one of the individuals I have talked to is  afraid or suspicious of the vaccine while also not identifying him/herself as anti-vaxxers.

I was talking to a young lady earlier this week who told me she was afraid because she heard covid vaccines can make some people sterile. There is no research supporting that but she believes it anyway. Others are suspicious because the vaccines are new and they don’t believe they’ve been tested enough. They don’t want to be guinea pigs. Add to that, the recent worries of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine giving blood clots as a rare side effect. Other people are just resistant to any vaccinations.

Covid cases in this country are going down and we may be at 60% immunity nationwide from vaccinations and people who have already contracted covid. Now, as the Biden administration is trying to convince more Americans to become vaccinated, the numbers of people getting vaccines are dropping. I’m looking forward to next week when I receive my second injection and I can see if the lines are just as long as they were three weeks ago when I got my first.

Leave it to the United States to make fear and politicization of vaccination to the coronavirus a first-world privilege. The people who complain the most about the pandemic robbing their liberties are the same assholes who don’t want to help in getting rid of the virus. While we’re refusing to vaccinate despite the availability of vaccines, thanks to having an adult president who tackles problems instead of gaslighting them, India is on fire.

These anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers politicizing the virus and acting like the pandemic is an assault on their liberties remind me of Libertarians.

Despite wanting a nation of zero regulations, no taxes, and no government authority whatsoever, you don’t see Libertarians moving to live in the mayhem that’s Somalia. Somalia is a libertarian paradise. Maybe none of them wants to wear puffy pirate shirts. Who knows. And you don’t see these anti-vaxxers moving to India to relish an environment of no face masks or vaccine shaming.

In India, only about two percent of the nation has been vaccinated. Its President, Nerandra Modi, is presenting a smiling face of denial about the pandemic while his nation has entered a second phase. In fact, the pandemic has not affected his proclivity for hugging.

Each day since April 22, India has recorded more than 300,000 new cases. On most days, India is recording more new cases than half the world, which Modi and Donald Trump probably both believe is flat. New Delhi, the capital, is now running out of wood for cremations and hospitals are full and lacking oxygen. Modi’s government is rejecting responsibility for failing to recognize that new variants were coming, and is blaming India’s state governments. Where have we heard that one before?

As our first relief checks had Trump’s signature, a vaccine passport in India has Modi’s face. These cretins want credit for the good stuff but none for the bad. We should be calling the coronavirus the “Trump Virus” in the United States, and in India, it should be the “Modi Virus.”

In India, the rate of vaccinations declined as the nation believed it was out of the woods. Over 300 million of India’s population are illiterate while the Trump cultist population of the United States is willfully ignorant. India had the vaccines. They exported over 66 billion to help other nations. Now, they need vaccines to be imported.

We can not ignore the pandemic. We can’t afford to politicize this. We can’t afford not to get vaccinated. We can’t afford to let our guards down. And, we can’t afford to sit at the bars.

Speaking of, I decided to sit at the bar as there was no one else here other than a couple of goobers at the gambling machines. Shortly after starting this column, the bar filled up and I was surrounded by mask-less bikers who were ignoring the six-foot rule. I am still not comfortable with that. I don’t believe we can be comfortable with that. I left the bar for a corner table far away from everyone, but they keep getting closer. I haven’t even ordered food yet but I may have to bail.

We can’t afford to let our guard down but when this pandemic is over and we can finally sit close to each other, I’m still going to want most of you fuckers to stay the fuck away from me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Racist Country


Cjones05022021

Republican Senator Tim Scott was chosen to deliver his party’s response to President Joe Biden’s address to Congress. In his speech, Scott said, “Hear me clearly: America is not a racist country. It’s backwards to fight discrimination with different types of discrimination. And it’s wrong to try to use our painful past to dishonestly shut down debates in the present.”

Republicans, who struggle with race, rallied around this message in hopes that we can finally stop talking about race so they’ll be left alone to create racist legislation.

If America is not a racist country, at the very least, the Republican Party is a racist party. Proof of this is they chose their one black senator to deliver the message that they’re not racist. It’s not like they said, “Hmmmm….which one of our many black members should we choose to deliver this address?” And to be a successful black Republican, you have to echo racist Republican talking points. And for those few black Americans who are Republicans, some have found it to be very profitable to be the GOP’s black friend. Isn’t that right, Candace Owens?

Candace Owens used to be a liberal until she cashed in her principles to be the Republican black friend. Republicans will pay a black person to say they’re not racist. Ever see a Trump rally on TV? Ever notice there’s always a black person in the audience behind Trump? That’s the Republican black friend of the day and they’re using him to show the party’s diversity, even though there are no black Republicans in the crowd standing in front of Trump. But at least they got the one black guy on TV.

Senator Tim Scott told us Wednesday night America is not a racist country. Another time he gave a speech at the Capitol was about how he couldn’t walk through the Capitol without police stopping and harassing him…probably because we live in a racist country.

Tim Scott is to the Republican Party what Chris Rock is to every Adam Sandler movie. He’s the one black guy. Or, Tim Scott is like the one black guy in Sha Na Na, or the one black guy on Barnie Miller, or that one black guy in Hootie and the Blowfish, or the one black guy in Star Wars, or the one black guy in the reboot of Star Wars, or the one black guy on the Supreme Court. What you don’t want to be is the one black guy in a horror movie (except George Romero zombie movies. The black guy is always the hero), because he’s always the first to die. Tim Scott, the Republican Party may not be a horror movie, but it is a shit show.

But you gotta hand it to Tim Scott. He’s chosen to be the Republican Senate’s token and he’s nailing it. He’s nailing it because just like all his white counterparts, his position is based on bullshit and ignores reality.

The problem for Republicans in shedding their image as a racist party is that they’re racist. I’m not saying every Republican is a racist, but every racist is a Republican. They draft policies racists love. They are on the same side as neo-Nazis and Klansmen. During the Capitol riot in support of Donald Trump, the terrorists were white nationalists. There were Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, and One Percenters. If you want someone to think you’re a racist, put on a MAGA cap. And if you think Black Lives Matter is a Marxist or terrorist group, then you’re probably a racist.

Republicans tell us they’re not racist while sponsoring over 360 bills nationwide to make it harder for black Americans to vote. The entire lie the election was stolen from Trump is based on supposed illegal voting by black Americans. Other legislation Republicans are creating across the nation is to make it legal to kill black Americans for protesting.

President Joe Biden and Vice-President Kamala Harris agree with Senator Scott that our nation is not racist. All three of them are wrong.

When one of our two major parties is racist, we are a racist nation. This nation was built on racism. Our Constitution was written with exceptions made for racists. Our electoral system is racist. We fought a war over racism and today, half the nation can’t admit it was fought over racism. During the last election, over 70 million Americans voted for racist Donald Trump. And yes, Donald Trump is a racist. If you voted for Donald Trump, you are very comfortable with racism.

Republicans say they’re not racist but racism is not a deal breaker for them. And if you are on the same side as Nazis, you’re probably a racist. Republicans can tell us all day they’re not racist, but David Duke also says he’s not racist.

As for the black-friend defense, keep in mind that Hitler, perhaps the most vile bigot in world history, had a pact with Japan. Another major bigot from American history, Strom Thurmond, who ran for president as the racist candidate, loved to have sex with black women and even had a black daughter (at least one we know of). The black-friend defense doesn’t work anymore, but if you’re a racist, you probably still think it does. You also probably start a lot or sentences with, “I’m not a racist, but…”

We are a racist nation. If we weren’t, then it wouldn’t have been so shocking that a jury convicted a white cop of murdering a black man.

To deal with the fact we’re a racist nation, you have to confront it like white privilege. You have to admit it’s real. You have to confront the problem to fix the problem. I don’t recall at any point of this nation’s history where white America ever said, “Damn. We are racist.” We can’t stop being a racist country if we can’t even admit we’re racist.

America, you have a race problem. The proof of that is each time a Republican says we don’t a Republican says we don’t. Also, further proof is how many people voted for and still support Donald Trump. As the token black guy in a teen horror film might say, “that shit is whack, yo.”

Creative note: I had more trouble than usual with this cartoon because of the challenge of drawing exactly 50 senators (yes, there are 50…or there should be), and making several of them caricatures…which got complicated because my stylus stopped working. This has been going on for a while. Every couple of days, it stops working. But, rebooting my device seems to be the cure for a while. The only problem is, if I’m in the middle of coloring, rebooting the program creates another layer and that’s a new complication to blend, which involves techie geek stuff you don’t wanna hear. I thought I had fixed the problem but as I learned this morning, I didn’t. Then, instead of waiting two more days, the stylus stopped working again. When you have to stop your project repeatedly to deal with a tech issue, it really kills momentum and discourages creativity.

Other creative thing: Republicans elect a lot of people with freaky faces. What’s up with that? I had a conversation yesterday with my colleague Pat Bagley and I asked if his Ted Cruz caricature is uglier than my Rudy Giuliani caricature.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Rudy Raided


Cjones05012021

Someone posted on the internet yesterday, “First they came for Rudy and I did nothing for I was laughing my ass off too hard.”

Someone else claimed since Merrick Garland is head of the Justice Department now, it’s fascism because this is his revenge for Donald Trump stealing his Supreme Court seat after President Obama nominated him. No. It’s not fascism. It’s karma.

Rudy spent months rummaging around Ukraine looking for dirt on Joe Biden and his son, Hunter. He never found any but that didn’t stop him from making up a lot of shit. He even claimed to have found Hunter’s laptop; nothing came of that either.

Beyond his dealings and lying with Ukraine to help Donald Trump steal an election by gaining dirt on the opponent he feared most, Rudy conducted a huge campaign of lies election after the opponent Trump feared most kicked his ass.

Rudy claimed the election was stolen. He produced eyewitnesses more insane than he is. He provided affidavits from people stating they heard someone heard someone else might have witnessed something. He held press a conference in a parking lost of a landscaping firm called “Four Seasons” because he confused it for the hotel with the same name. The parking lot was next to a dildo store. During the press conference, his hair dye started running. During a hearing before a state legislative committee, he got the farts.

Rudy, who was once called “America’s mayor,” has become America’s joke.

After Trump and other surrogates claimed he never paid off porn stars, or at least didn’t know about it, Rudy went on Hannity, who had also been claiming there had been no porn star payoffs, and informed the world there had been porn star payoffs and the money was “funneled.” Typically when someone uses the word “funneled,” unless they’re making a cake, they’re doing something corrupt.

A long time ago, Rudy was respected. Before he was mayor of New York City, he was an Associate Attorney General and then the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York. Yesterday morning, FBI agents from the Southern District of New York came a knocking on Rudy’s door, and not to talk about old times.

It’s a big deal when any attorney gets raided by the FBI. It’s an even bigger deal for a president’s (sic) attorney to be raided by the FBI. But with Donald Trump, this is his second attorney to get raided by the FBI. But being someone’s attorney isn’t a license to be a partner in crime.

What was Rudy doing in Ukraine? Was he making money off the nation while engaging in election meddling? Was he representing Ukraine without registering as a foreign lobbyist? Was he there instigating more terrorists attacks or finding more cousins to marry? The FBI is trying to find out. How can anything be corrupt while working with goons named Lev and Igor? Now, Rudy has been rolled over by Lev and Igor who will soon be followed by Boris and Natasha.

The FBI raided Rudy’s Madison Avenue apartment and his Park Avenue office and reportedly took electronic devices. Rudy isn’t good with electronic devices. This is a guy who has butt-dialed reporters before engaging into a conversation about the Bidens, Bahrain, and needing cash.

Olivia Nuzzi, a reporter for New York Magazine, once wrote that during a meeting with Giuliani, he had three cell phones, and despite being a cyber security consultant, didn’t understand how to use any of them. She wrote, “Two of the devices were unlocked, their screens revealing open tabs and a barrage of banner notifications as they knocked into each other and reacted to Giuliani’s grip.”

“He accidentally activated Siri, who said she didn’t understand his command. ‘She never understands me,’ he said. He sighed and poked at the device, attempting to quiet her.”

And at the end of the meeting, he forgot to take one of the phones with him. Rudy learning figuring out how to swipe left would be like your grandfather figuring out TikTok.

If there are any files, texts, or call history on Rudy’s phones that provides evidence of corruption, do you think Rudy knew how to delete them or was even aware he should? If you’re a person who engaged in some sketchy dealings with Rudy and you had multiple conversations, calls, and texts with the guy, you have every right in the world to be worried.

Golly, I’m trying to think of who Rudy may have been calling on these devices the FBI seized yesterday.

Rudy denied ever talking to Donald Trump about receiving a preemptive pardon before he left the White House. Whether they actually talked about it or not (they did), you can bet your ass Donald Trump is wishing he had given one to Rudy. Trump gave pardons to other goons to keep them quiet. If he had given one to Rudy, the FBI wouldn’t have been at his house and office yesterday. Now, he’s in danger of Rudy talking. Hell, Rudy spills the beans when not making a deal.

For all we know, the FBI might even find new stuff they had no idea was going on. There are so many questions.

Will Rudy be charged with any crimes? Will Trump be implicated by Rudy’s stupidity? Will Trump be charged? Will Rudy roll over on Trump? Will Rudy and Trump both flee the country for a Moscow penthouse or maybe a villa in Pyongyang? How many times did Rudy fart during the raid? Will the FBI follow a trail of hair dye from Rudy to Trump?

Whether connected to Rudy or not, how much longer until Donald Trump is charged with a crime?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: