Clay Jones

The Doctors’ Lane


cjones11182018

When the National Rifle Association told doctors they’re not qualified to have an opinion on gun violence by tweeting, “Someone should tell self-important anti-gun doctors to stay in their lane,” there was a backlash.

Dr. Marianne Haughey, who works in the Bronx, tweeted back, “I see no one from the @nra next to me in the trauma bay as I have cared for victims of gun violence for the past 25 years. THAT must be MY lane. COME INTO MY LANE. Tell one mother her child is dead with me, then we can talk.”

Another doctor tweeted, “Single GSW to the head as a drive by. Surprisingly little blood, but plenty of blood curdling screams from this middle schoolers mother when we told her that her baby was dead. Tell me how do I get her screams out of my head 4 years later?

The NRA was angry that the American College of Physicians issued a paper on firearm injuries and deaths. The paper stated, “Firearm violence continues to be a public health crisis in the United States that requires the nation’s immediate attention. Restrictions should be lifted on gun-violence research conducted by the C.D.C. and other government agencies.”

The NRA accused the doctors of being “biased” and “anti-gun.” Dr. Christine Laine, the editor in chief of Annals of Internal Medicine, replied, “Annals of Internal Medicine is not anti-gun; we are anti-bullet holes in people. And if we are biased, the bias is toward counseling our patients to reduce their risk of firearm injury and toward evidence-based solutions to the public health crisis that firearm injury has become.”

The NRA’s lane is defending the weapons that put bullet holes in people. It’s not their lane where the holes are removed, or where parents are told their children are dead.

The NRA should just park it.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Melania’s Bad Side Can Be A Drag


cjones11172018

Melania Trump is not the first First Lady to influence her husband, the president of the United States. It’s not unusual, unique, or strange.

Sarah Polk helped her husband craft speeches and wrote letters for him. Sarah Fillmore helped create the White House library, which Trump still doesn’t know is in there. Caroline Harrison, a proponent of women’s rights and historic preservation was the first president-general of the Daughters of the American Revolution while she was serving as First Lady. Woodrow Wilson didn’t see anything unless his wife, Edith, approved, as she made daily decisions about what items should or should not be taken to him. Eleanor Roosevelt fought for the New Deal and women’s and civil rights while in the White House. Betty Ford was an advocate for the Equal Rights Amendment and the legalization of abortion (Time called her the country’s “Fighting First Lady,” and many conservatives wanted her to resign, though I don’t know how that would work). Betty even delivered her husband’s concession speech. Rosalynn Carter sat in on cabinet meetings. Hillary Clinton was appointed by her husband to the Task Force on National Health Care Reform and became and still, is a national villain to gaslighted Republicans. Nancy Reagan coordinated her husband’s schedule with an astrological chart, claimed Donald Regan, who was fired as Chief-of-Staff for disagreeing with her.

Normally, a First Lady’s influence on the staff is leaked out from White House insiders and not blasted in a press release stating the equivalent of “I hate their rancid ass and it should be kicked to the curb.” That’s basically what the East Wing issued yesterday in calling for the ouster of deputy national security adviser Mira R. Ricardel. The West Wing issued a response that they had no control over the East Wing. There’s more drama between these wings than left and right Twix.

The statement read, “It is the position of the Office of the First Lady that she no longer deserves the honor of serving in this White House.” No. There wasn’t a “meow” at the end, but she did tweet later about World Kindness Day. Here’s the weirdest part; Ricardel hasn’t been fired yet.

Ricardel is John Bolton’s deputy because that much xenophobia needs an assistant. Three current and two former White House officials said Tuesday that Ricardel had berated people in meetings, yelled at professional staff, argued with the first lady and spread rumors about Defense Secretary James Mattis. Now, I wanna know the Mattis rumors. They can’t be any worse than the president’s Mario-Mushroom rumor.

Chief-of-Staff John Kelly has been pushing for Ricardel’s ouster, but Melania may be pushing for his too.

There are rampant rumors that Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke are also on the poop list.

Melania told ABC News in an interview last month that there are some White House advisers she doesn’t trust. It’s nice to know we’re not the only ones except, I don’t trust any of them.

Maybe it’s good for us that Melania is influencing who should stay and go. But, perhaps she should focus on the East Wing a bit more than the West Wing. Not because she’s a woman, but because she has started a campaign she hasn’t engaged in. Her anti-bullying campaign is stark hypocrisy and a national joke since her husband is the most sexist bully this side of Biff Tannen. It would be like Ivanka leading an anti-nepotism campaign.

Personally, I’m looking forward to the future firing and their replacements and their future firings. I’m also hoping Trump acts as his own Chief-of-Staff for a while. But to be honest, I’m also a big fan of train wrecks.

I’m going out right now to buy Melania an astrological chart.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Counting Isn’t Cheating


cjones11162018

Donald Trump refused to believe Russia meddled in the 2016 presidential election, often calling it a hoax. He claims the investigation is a “witch hunt.” He trusted Vladimir Putin’s denial over American intelligence, which is part of his government. He claimed millions voted illegally and created a sham commission, now dismantled, to investigate. He campaigned during the midterms on a caravan invasion that the Democrats created to vote in U.S. elections.

Trump called for a new election in the Arizona Senate race, claiming there was corruption. The race has now been called for Democrat Kyrsten Sinema and her Republican opponent, Martha McSally has conceded.

In Georgia, where the race is still too close to call and counting continues, Trump declared Republican Brian Kemp the winner, “the transition should begin”, and “it’s time to move on.”

In the Florida recount, he claims it’s impossible to get an “honest vote count,” and that a “large number of ballots showed up out of nowhere,” and that we “must go with Election Night” numbers.

Donald Trump wants voting to stop. He wants thousands, if not millions of Americans to have their votes disenfranchised, even service members whose votes are still coming in from overseas. He believes counting every vote after he perceives his side has won, amounts to cheating and election fraud.

Donald Trump is the president of the United States of America, and he doesn’t understand how democracy works. We count votes here in the United States. Every vote should be counted. For that matter, other Republicans don’t seem to understand it either.

Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp worked hard to remove African Americans from the voter rolls to prevent them from voting in an election in which he was competing. Florida governor Rick Scott, has also accused the recount of being corrupt, and sent law enforcement to oversee the recount.

Scott’s state government has debunked his and Trump’s accusations of voter fraud and corruption. Sure, Broward County, where they’re still counting, is inept at handling elections, but that doesn’t make them corrupt. Republicans are afraid of voters. They’re afraid of every vote being counted. Voters should be afraid of Republicans. If they can’t win fairly, they’ll cheat. Even when the odds, numbers, and demographics are in their favor, they’ll still cheat. They’re like the New England Patriots, except really racist while cheating.

Donald Trump doesn’t understand how Democracy works. Maybe, in 2020, we can show him.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Mr. Haterworth


cjones11152018

Donald Trump has an issue with black women. He’s said time and time again that Representative Maxine Waters has a low IQ, he’s feuded with a Gold Star mother who is black and the black congresswoman who defended her, Frederica Wilson. He claimed Stacey Abrams was “unqualified” to be governor of Georgia, despite the fact she was deputy city attorney in Atlanta and has been a member of the Georgia House of Representatives since 2007 and Minority Leader in the House since 2011, which is more government and political experience than hosting a reality TV show.

Of course, Trump doesn’t like black people in general. Before the midterms, he called Florida’s Democratic gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum a “thief.” He’s black, so he must be stealing something, right? Trump issues juvenile insults toward all races, but there’s an extra special zeal he puts into it when it comes to black women. When those black women are journalists, well it just gets worse.

Last week, Trump attacked three female journalists in a derisive manner for their audacity of asking him questions.

CNN’s Abby Phillip asked Trump if his acting-Attorney General would “rein in” Special Counsel Robert Mueller, Trump responded with, “What a stupid question that is. What a stupid question. I watch you a lot. You ask a lot of stupid questions.” It wasn’t a stupid question, and he didn’t answer it.

He went after American Urban Radio Networks’ April Ryan for asking him a question about alleged voter suppression in the midterm elections. Trump shouted at her, “Sit down! I didn’t call you. Such a hostile media, it’s so sad. You rudely interrupted him,” he told her, referring to another reporter.

Later, he threatened to pull her White House press credentials, as he did with CNN’s Jim Acosta. “You talk about someone who’s a loser. She doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing. She gets publicity and then she gets a pay raise, or she gets a contract with, I think, CNN. But she’s very nasty and she shouldn’t be. You’ve got to treat the White House and the office of the presidency with respect.” Yes, treating the White House and office of the presidency with respect is a great idea. Unfortunately, screaming at reporters doesn’t do that.

A few moments after screaming at Ryan, he screamed at PBS NewsHour’s Yamiche Alcindor for asking about his recent characterization of himself as “a nationalist” and whether that label was “emboldening white nationalists.” Trump told her, “I don’t know why you say that, that is such a racist question.” Racists always believe it’s racist to point out their racism.

Personally, I’d love to see Trump get stuck in an elevator with Madea.

Creative note: I originally had this idea with Aunt Jemima, but I wasn’t sure if they still, or ever, had a bottle in the shape of a woman. I also wasn’t too sure about this idea. Then, while watching football and eating hot wings at a bar yesterday, I saw the new commercial of KFC’s Colonel dancing with Mrs. Butterworth. I think the cartoon gods were using that disturbing commercial to tell me I had to do this cartoon, and that I was confusing Aunt Jemima with Mrs. Butterworth. Maybe racist corporate mascots all look alike to me.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Can’t Get Rain On The Bone Spurs


cjones11142018

The Battle of Belleau Wood in June 1918 near the Marne River in France during World War I greatly contributed to the lore of the United States Marines. It was one of the first battles for American troops entering the war which was a victory for the allies at a cost of 1,811 American lives. The Aisne Marne American Cemetery which contains American remains is a monument to those who fought in the battle. The names of 1,060 Americans who went missing and whose bodies were not recovered are engraved on the walls of the site.

Major General James Harbord said in 1923, “Now and then, a veteran, for the brief span that we still survive, will come here to live again the brave days of that distant June. Here will be raised the altars of patriotism; here will be renewed the vows of sacrifice and consecration to country. Hither will come our countrymen in hours of depression, and even of failure, and take new courage from this shrine of great deeds.”

Unless, of course, it’s raining.

Even though other leaders, like French President Emmanuel Macron, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau were able to attend ceremonies for their war dead in the light French rain, Donald Trump canceled a visit to the cemetery and chose to stay at the American embassy and watch television and tweet. The White House said his trip was canceled because of the rain.

Other American presidents have attended events in the rain. The White House said the rain created traveling and security issues for Trump, but aides to other presidents said there were always backup plans in case of rain because weather does happen.

In Donald Trump’s defense, he’s just not as physically or mentally capable to deal with such harsh challenges, like a sprinkle. He couldn’t serve his country in Vietnam because of bone spurs. He wasn’t able to walk with other world leaders during his first presidential trip to Europe and instead had to use a golf cart. He doesn’t know how to operate an umbrella. And then, there’s his hair. Who are we to ask for miracles from Aqua Net?

It’s amazing that Trump supporters, especially veterans, believe Trump respects the military. Time and time again, he’s proven he’ll selfishly put himself before our nation. He has said POWs aren’t war heroes, he’s feuded and insulted Gold Star families, and he’s placed our service members along the border in an election stunt. In his two years as president, Trump has yet to visit troops in a war zone. Last year, he was scheduled to visit the Korean Demilitarized Zone, but it was canceled because of…weather.

Rain, sharks, words on paper, black women, stairs….The list of stuff Trump is afraid of keeps getting longer.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Costa Rica Colones


crsta11022018

This cartoon was first published in The Costa Rica Star on November 2, 2018.

Did you know that in addition to being very low in currency, that Costa Rica’s colones has monkeys and sloths on it? Now that’s kinda cool.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Clubbing With The Fake News


cjones11132018

If you’re a Donald Trump supporter, you don’t have any credibility on any political or social issue. Being a Trump supporter is like a snake eating its own tail. How so? I’ll explain.

Donald Trump accuses the media of being “fake news.” He also says they’re the “enemy of the American people.” Never mind for a moment that there is no such thing as “fake news,” because if it’s fake, it’s not news. Never mind for a moment that they’re not our enemy. Let’s focus on what makes you lose all credibility.

The Trump reasoning is; if you’re dishonest and lying to the American people, then you’re their enemy. Nobody lies more to the American people than Donald Trump. That’s not hyperbole. He employs people to lie to the American people. Sarah Huckabee Sanders sent out a manipulated video from Infowars. Kellyanne Conway calls Trump lies “alternative facts.” Rudy Giuliani says, “Truth isn’t truth.” So, if you buy Trump’s argument that people who lie to us are the enemy, then Trump is the enemy.

So, you either have to believe that Donald Trump never lies, which is like defying gravity, or you believe his argument on fake news…at any rate, you’re that snake eating its tail. You are eating your own ass.

You can’t be one of those Trump people who say “I wish he didn’t tweet so much, but I like what’s done with the economy.” Bull shit. That just proves you’re a liar too. This is Obama’s economy, which he created out of the recession the last Republican president made. You can’t argue, “but Hillary’s dishonest.” Nope. Again, you’re a liar. You can’t argue about her server because Trump is doing the same thing. You can’t argue about the Clinton Foundation because Trump engages in “pay for play” and he literally steals from charity. And, if you start with “I like what he’s done for the military” or “he’s making us respectable again,” someone should slap you in the lying mouth.

You have no credibility. You’re a liar. You’re definitely not someone to be in business with, because you’re a liar and dishonest, and you’re probably a very shitty friend. The only people you can hang out with and talk to are other shitheads. You suck. You ate your own ass.

This is especially egregious if you’re in the news business. Facts are supposed to be important to you. Not just Trump’s talking points. You can’t say Jim Acosta and CNN are “fake news” without telling us why they’re fake news. Can you point out the lies they’re telling or is all you got is the cry of “fake news?” The truth should be important to all of us. Unfortunately, half the nation doesn’t care.

Seriously, if you’re a news person, Trump should have lost you on the first day of his administration when he sent Sean Spicer out to lie about crowd sizes. He should have lost everyone that day, but you especially. You are no longer a news person. You’re not “fake news” either. You are propaganda.

At some point, you have to bring reason back into your life. When he tells you he didn’t know someone but it’s later revealed his penis was inside her, you have to accept he’s lying. If you don’t leave now, he’s going to start beating you and you’re going to hang in there hoping he’ll change or claim it was your fault for making him angry. You shouldn’t have left a wet towel on the floor.

But, then again. If you’re a Trump supporter, you probably didn’t understand any this. Facts, irony, subtlety, hypocrisy, analogies, and metaphors to you are like math is to me. You put the what where? I have a calculator, but what’s going to help you when you refuse to use the calculator (that metaphor is; stop reading Infowars and listening to Trump and start watching CNN).

The people who report the news aren’t the enemy of the people. The people who want to get rid of the people who report news so they can’t report what they’re doing to you are the enemy of the people.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.