Christmas

Trump Ruins Everything


cjones12312018

Imagine your kid calls into the NORAD Santa Tracker to talk to one of the trackers about Santa’s whereabouts and instead, your child gets the president of the United States. Wow! How exciting that must be…unless that president is Donald Trump. Then it’s horrifying.

One unfortunate seven-year-old’s dumb luck got him the president, who said, “Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it’s marginal, right?” Why, why, why would he say that? Oh yeah. Because he’s the dumbest, rudest, most idiotic president in the history of presidents.

The child didn’t call for reassurance about the existence of Santa Claus. It’s like Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin telling Wall Street not to worry because the banks haven’t run out of money. Mnuchin told the banks they needed to worry about banks running out of money and Trump told a small child that her parents may have been lying to her for her entire life.

By saying it was “marginal” at her age, Trump was saying that she’s at the age where children usually catch on to the whole Santa thing. But children should learn the truth about Santa from their parents, not the president of the United States. How would he feel if someone called Eric and told him there’s no Santa?

Mike Huckabee, the father of Trump’s main spokesgoon defended Trump and said, “It wasn’t like he was boiling the little girl’s bunny rabbit in a pot on the stove or something.” So, how many times in the past has Trump boiled a child’s rabbit?

Stock market, economy, relationship with our allies, trust in our nation, the entire government, even Christmas….Donald Trump ruins everything.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

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Feliz Navidad


cjones12252018

As you celebrate the holidays this season, take at least a moment and think of the nearly 15,000 children currently detained in Donald Trump’s child prison camps.

Most of the migrant children are teenage boys from Central America who crossed the southern border unaccompanied. Most were escaping gangs or poverty and are seeking asylum in the U.S. In November, an average of 175 unaccompanied children crossed the border every day. A senior official with the Department of Health and Human Services blamed a broken immigration system that acts as a “perverse incentive” for undocumented children to cross the border in the first place. Damn this American freedom.

The more than 100 federally contracted shelters (that means someone’s making a lot of money off of this) are 92 percent full. The largest shelter is in Tornillo, West Texas, and it’s composed of heated tents a few hundred yards from the Rio Grande. Currently, there are 2,800 children in the Tornillo shelter. It can accommodate 3,800 children.

There are sponsors waiting for many of these kids. The sponsors are usually family members and the children stay with them while their respective cases for asylum are pending. There is a vetting process for the sponsors, but that process has slowed down to a crawl. The daily discharge rate is about one percent. The Trump administration vets sponsors’ immigration status and requires all adults in a household seeking to care for an immigrant child to submit their fingerprints for a background check. Previous administrations did not do this. They are discouraging people from sponsoring these children.

There are also children being detained because of Trump’s “zero-tolerance” policy that separates parents from their children at the southern border.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, detained children often suffer from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m sure that will be on Donald Trump’s mind while he’s golfing at Mar-a-Lago during his Christmas vacation. I hear the resort makes a mean ham.

While the shelters will give the children Christmas “festivities,” they won’t be with their families. They won’t be receiving hugs.

I hope it rains all week at Mar-a-Lago.

Creative note: This cartoon is the bookend to my Fourth of July Cartoon, Feliz Dia De La Independencia. I’m not a huge fan of holiday cartoons and unless I draw one for The Costa Rica Star this week, this is my last Christmas cartoon of the year. I’ve managed to avoid any sitting on Santa’s lap cartoons or drawing the Grinch, who has been in more commercials than Shaq.

My cartoons have file dates and this one’s the 25th (I’m ridiculously ahead and need to take a day off). Though my clients are not required to embargo the cartoons until their file date, I hope at least one of them runs this on Christmas day. Maybe instead of publishing some sentimental holiday crap, they can give their readers something to think about.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Xmas Hard


cjones12222018

Yeah, I was supposed to take the day off. But, I’ve had this idea for about a week and I only had a few days left to do it. I know a lot of my editors will like it. There are several serious news topics I need to hit, but I wanted to take a break and do something a little light. I rarely want to do a light subject, but I liked this one. I’ll be back on the hard news with the next cartoon.

And for the record, Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie. It just happens to take place during the Christmas season, kinda like Shawn of the Dead isn’t a Zombie movie. I look forward to your comments.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Trumpy Naughty List


cjones11282018

Yes. Trump Bear is a real thing. A reader of mine didn’t know that until I included Trumpy Bear in a cartoon last week. The commercials can be found late at nights, around the same time as those freaky My Pillow, catheter, and bent penis commercials. No, they’re not selling bent penises, yet.

Any of those products would make a suitable gift for the shitweasel on your Christmas list, but Trump Bear is Trumpian. He’s made in China, doesn’t have a brain, and looks ridiculous. Only thing is, I wouldn’t let it sleep with your child because I just wouldn’t trust it.

I think everyone who voted for Donald Trump, or a Republican in the midterms, should get a Trumpy Bear, and nothing but Trump Bear. Of course, those sick twisted bastards might just enjoy it.

Though I do feel sorry for the Nazi children who have nothing to look forward to on Christmas morning except for Trumpy Bear and that Lego Knockoff Build A Wall kit.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Happy Holidays And Stuff


xmascard

I want to thank everyone who has supported my cartooning over the past year. Whether you’ve contributed financially, left a comment, shared with a friend or on social media, helped edit the site (Frank), or cursed at me, thank you very much. You’ve helped keep this going. And, thank you for helping me continue the war on Christmas. We shall vanquish the one they call Claus yet!!!

I hope you and everyone you love and even kinda sorta care about has a great holiday season.

Thank you from the bottom of my cold, cynical heart.

– Clay

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Christmas Award


cjones12252016

This is the only cartoon I’ve drawn this year with a Christmas theme. If you were expecting one, sorry about that. No, I’m not sorry.

This cartoon is dated for Christmas day, when I plan to pretend to be Jewish and order Chinese food and watch A Christmas Story at least twice. Thank you for following and reading my cartoons and blogs over the past year. Have a happy holiday, Hanukkah, merry Christmas and all that stuff.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Have A Cocked And Loaded Christmas


cjones12242015

Note to my conservative friends: There is more than one use for the word “cocked.”

Back when I was a staff cartoonists I was always required to draw cartoons commemorating Christmas, Thanksgiving, Veterans’ Day, Memorial Day and whatever else came up. I hated them. It was like approaching the drawing board with the mission “draw a bad cartoon today.”

There’s a lot to miss not being on staff at a newspaper. I miss the paycheck and benefits. I miss the people. I miss the arguments in the newsroom. I don’t miss the required pandering. My editor ran the same syndicated cartoon every year on Christmas Eve of Santa in his sleigh waving a newspaper with the headline “Santa visits Fredericksburg.” The cartoon had a blank spot where editors could paste the name of their town. I would argue with him every year to stop running the cartoon and ask “how many readers of our editorial page still believe in Santa Claus?” I stopped fighting him about it after a few years and just took the day off.

Since I don’t have editors cracking whips on me anymore then I’m not going to purposely draw bad cartoons. I’ll draw them and realize they’re bad later.

I’m not against using holidays as metaphors and analogies. They are current events. I do hate the tired cliches like sitting on Santa’s lap asking for stuff. I refuse to draw that cartoon ever again. Though back on my staff days, I’d save the lap analogy for a tough idea day in December when deadline was looming. It was always an easy out. Now I just try harder. Freedom and drawing your own ethical lines is expensive, but it’s kinda worth it.

I hope each and every single one of you has a happy holiday, Christmas, whatever you wanna call it. I don’t have any plans so I’ll probably be drawing cartoons.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!