Christmas

Run, Run, Rudolph


cjones12172019

I don’t understand gun obsession or why anyone feels they need an automatic weapon to make themselves feel like a man. I can only assume they’re overcompensating for something very tiny in their lives. So if I can’t understand gun worship, I’m never going to get why some feel the need to kill something just to kill it…and the rarer the creature the better. But then again, anyone who needs to kill something beautiful just to kill it is an asshole.

This brings us to the Trump boys. Donald Trump Jr. and Eric love to shoot and kill things. The bigger the better. The rarer the better. Typically, their “hunts” involve shooting creatures on preserves where they’re lead by a guide. Basically, you’re shooting an animal in a fence. In the past, they’ve posted photos of Buffalo, Elephants, and leopards they killed. In one pic, DJTJ is holding the tail he cut off an elephant he killed. How macho.

Recently, Donald Trump Jr. shot an Argali sheep in Mongolia. The Argali Sheep is extremely rare and shooting and killing them is controversial in Mongolia. To legally kill one, you have to be rich and politically connected.  It helps if you’re a trust-fund baby.

Funny thing about DJTJ killing this animal: He did so BEFORE he acquired a permit allowing him to kill it. After killing it, he got a meeting with the president. The permit was granted AFTER DJTJ had left the nation.

Now, an animal-protection group and a government watchdog group have filed separate requests asking four government agencies to investigate and produce documents regarding Trump Jr.’s Mongolian hunting excursion.

The Center for Biological Diversity sent a two-page letter to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service on Friday, alerting the agency that Trump Jr. may have violated Mongolian laws by reportedly killing a rare argali sheep without a permit.

Tanya Sanerib, the Center’s international legal director and an attorney, wrote, “If Mongolian law was violated when the argali was killed, then U.S. officials must ensure the poor animal doesn’t end up in the U.S. as a Trump wall hanging.”

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington requested records from the Department of Homeland Security, State Department, and Department of the Interior seeking information on the cost of the trip to taxpayers, communication between Trump Jr. and Mongolian officials and documents Trump Jr. may have filed to import the big-game trophy, including its massive corkscrew horns.

I’m sure each of these departments will get right on that.

As it turns out, Mongolia’s ambassador to the U.S. and its foreign minister were hanging out at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort during Easter weekend, at the same time Trump Jr. was there. But don’t worry because Donald Trump made a big deal about “pay-for-play” regarding the Clinton Foundation, so I’m sure none of that was transpiring during Easter weekend or ever with his extremely ethical family.

If Santa was planning to land his endangered reindeer on the Trump’s roof, the only thing that’d stop the Trump boys from killing them would be if they couldn’t get a guide to hold their hands. You know they’re too wimpy to climb up there on their own.

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You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Trump Ruins Everything


cjones12312018

Imagine your kid calls into the NORAD Santa Tracker to talk to one of the trackers about Santa’s whereabouts and instead, your child gets the president of the United States. Wow! How exciting that must be…unless that president is Donald Trump. Then it’s horrifying.

One unfortunate seven-year-old’s dumb luck got him the president, who said, “Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it’s marginal, right?” Why, why, why would he say that? Oh yeah. Because he’s the dumbest, rudest, most idiotic president in the history of presidents.

The child didn’t call for reassurance about the existence of Santa Claus. It’s like Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin telling Wall Street not to worry because the banks haven’t run out of money. Mnuchin told the banks they needed to worry about banks running out of money and Trump told a small child that her parents may have been lying to her for her entire life.

By saying it was “marginal” at her age, Trump was saying that she’s at the age where children usually catch on to the whole Santa thing. But children should learn the truth about Santa from their parents, not the president of the United States. How would he feel if someone called Eric and told him there’s no Santa?

Mike Huckabee, the father of Trump’s main spokesgoon defended Trump and said, “It wasn’t like he was boiling the little girl’s bunny rabbit in a pot on the stove or something.” So, how many times in the past has Trump boiled a child’s rabbit?

Stock market, economy, relationship with our allies, trust in our nation, the entire government, even Christmas….Donald Trump ruins everything.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Feliz Navidad


cjones12252018

As you celebrate the holidays this season, take at least a moment and think of the nearly 15,000 children currently detained in Donald Trump’s child prison camps.

Most of the migrant children are teenage boys from Central America who crossed the southern border unaccompanied. Most were escaping gangs or poverty and are seeking asylum in the U.S. In November, an average of 175 unaccompanied children crossed the border every day. A senior official with the Department of Health and Human Services blamed a broken immigration system that acts as a “perverse incentive” for undocumented children to cross the border in the first place. Damn this American freedom.

The more than 100 federally contracted shelters (that means someone’s making a lot of money off of this) are 92 percent full. The largest shelter is in Tornillo, West Texas, and it’s composed of heated tents a few hundred yards from the Rio Grande. Currently, there are 2,800 children in the Tornillo shelter. It can accommodate 3,800 children.

There are sponsors waiting for many of these kids. The sponsors are usually family members and the children stay with them while their respective cases for asylum are pending. There is a vetting process for the sponsors, but that process has slowed down to a crawl. The daily discharge rate is about one percent. The Trump administration vets sponsors’ immigration status and requires all adults in a household seeking to care for an immigrant child to submit their fingerprints for a background check. Previous administrations did not do this. They are discouraging people from sponsoring these children.

There are also children being detained because of Trump’s “zero-tolerance” policy that separates parents from their children at the southern border.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, detained children often suffer from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m sure that will be on Donald Trump’s mind while he’s golfing at Mar-a-Lago during his Christmas vacation. I hear the resort makes a mean ham.

While the shelters will give the children Christmas “festivities,” they won’t be with their families. They won’t be receiving hugs.

I hope it rains all week at Mar-a-Lago.

Creative note: This cartoon is the bookend to my Fourth of July Cartoon, Feliz Dia De La Independencia. I’m not a huge fan of holiday cartoons and unless I draw one for The Costa Rica Star this week, this is my last Christmas cartoon of the year. I’ve managed to avoid any sitting on Santa’s lap cartoons or drawing the Grinch, who has been in more commercials than Shaq.

My cartoons have file dates and this one’s the 25th (I’m ridiculously ahead and need to take a day off). Though my clients are not required to embargo the cartoons until their file date, I hope at least one of them runs this on Christmas day. Maybe instead of publishing some sentimental holiday crap, they can give their readers something to think about.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Xmas Hard


cjones12222018

Yeah, I was supposed to take the day off. But, I’ve had this idea for about a week and I only had a few days left to do it. I know a lot of my editors will like it. There are several serious news topics I need to hit, but I wanted to take a break and do something a little light. I rarely want to do a light subject, but I liked this one. I’ll be back on the hard news with the next cartoon.

And for the record, Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie. It just happens to take place during the Christmas season, kinda like Shawn of the Dead isn’t a Zombie movie. I look forward to your comments.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Trumpy Naughty List


cjones11282018

Yes. Trump Bear is a real thing. A reader of mine didn’t know that until I included Trumpy Bear in a cartoon last week. The commercials can be found late at nights, around the same time as those freaky My Pillow, catheter, and bent penis commercials. No, they’re not selling bent penises, yet.

Any of those products would make a suitable gift for the shitweasel on your Christmas list, but Trump Bear is Trumpian. He’s made in China, doesn’t have a brain, and looks ridiculous. Only thing is, I wouldn’t let it sleep with your child because I just wouldn’t trust it.

I think everyone who voted for Donald Trump, or a Republican in the midterms, should get a Trumpy Bear, and nothing but Trump Bear. Of course, those sick twisted bastards might just enjoy it.

Though I do feel sorry for the Nazi children who have nothing to look forward to on Christmas morning except for Trumpy Bear and that Lego Knockoff Build A Wall kit.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Happy Holidays And Stuff


xmascard

I want to thank everyone who has supported my cartooning over the past year. Whether you’ve contributed financially, left a comment, shared with a friend or on social media, helped edit the site (Frank), or cursed at me, thank you very much. You’ve helped keep this going. And, thank you for helping me continue the war on Christmas. We shall vanquish the one they call Claus yet!!!

I hope you and everyone you love and even kinda sorta care about has a great holiday season.

Thank you from the bottom of my cold, cynical heart.

– Clay

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Christmas Award


cjones12252016

This is the only cartoon I’ve drawn this year with a Christmas theme. If you were expecting one, sorry about that. No, I’m not sorry.

This cartoon is dated for Christmas day, when I plan to pretend to be Jewish and order Chinese food and watch A Christmas Story at least twice. Thank you for following and reading my cartoons and blogs over the past year. Have a happy holiday, Hanukkah, merry Christmas and all that stuff.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!