Christmas

Little Shooter Boy


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America’s Little Shooter Boy is aiming (pun intended) for a great Christmas…for himself.

Kyle Rittenhouse is being wined (probably with Coors) and dined by what used to be the Republican establishment. Today, it’s a cult. The Trump cult is grabbing onto our nation’s gun culture. And one way to celebrate your gun fetish is to give platforms to gun celebrities. No, not Tom Selleck, but people like Rittenhouse and the mustard-loving gun owners in St. Louis who were prepared to defend their home when they saw black people walking in their neighborhood.

The 2020 Republican convention featured that ridiculous Sandmann Covington kid who had that face-off with a Native American in Washington. Why was he a celebrity? Because he sued several media outlets and got settlements that were most likely nuisance settlements. But, that was enough to make him a hero to the far-right. But his 15 minutes are running out and the Trump cult needs new “heroes.”

The convention also featured that couple from St. Louis. These two goons, Mark and Patricia McCloskey, live in a gated community. When they saw protesters, black people, walking down their street, they grabbed their guns and went outside so they could point them at the “trespassers.” They were so threatened by the crowd passing by their house, they didn’t have time to put on shoes or change into shirts without mustard stains before running outside with their guns. I mean, if they had taken the time to change into clothing without food stains, the protesters may have been gone. It’s not every day the McCloskey’s get to point their guns at black people.

After being found guilty on charges of misdemeanor harassment and misdemeanor assault in the fourth degree, fined, and having their guns confiscated, Mark McCloskey said, “Any time the mob approaches me, I’ll do what I can to put them in imminent threat of physical injury because that’s what kept them from destroying my house and my family.”

Really? That’s what kept them from destroying your house and family? How many other houses and families, that didn’t rush outside pointing guns, were destroyed by the “mob?” Also, if I’m walking on a sidewalk in front of your house, I’m NOT “approaching” you.

Mark McCloskey is using his newfound fame from hating and pointing guns at black people to run for the United States Senate as a member of the Tiny-Shriveled-Ineffective-Penis Party. Other people refer to that party as the Republican Party.

The shrinky-dinky guys aren’t just happy using Mustard Stain for their events. They’re now using Rittenhouse because he shot people and got away with it. He shot three people, killing two. Although all three were white, they were a part of a protest for Black Lives Matter.

Rittenhouse is the new anti-hero for Trumpers and other assorted morons with a gun fetish. He was doing an interview with Sean Hannity while on the car ride home after the trial. He’s been to Mar-a-Lago for a photo-op with Orange Julius Jesus. On Monday, he got to speak at Turning Point USA’s AmericaFest where he got a standing ovation for shooting people. I’m not sure he even spoke at the event.

These people cheering Rittenhouse should ask, “What would Jesus do?” But in our gun culture, they’ll probably ask instead, “Who would Jesus shoot?” But then again, these people who believe it’s Christian to shoot people, and make heroes out of the people who do, also think Jesus was white. Of course, they also made a Christian holiday out of a fake birthday for a Jewish guy.

Rittenhouse is also threatening to sue the media for saying bad things about him after he created a situation where he had to defend himself and shoot three people. Hey, Kyle. If you really want to be in situations where you have to defend yourself with a gun, join the Marines.

There are people who won’t be here this Christmas because they were killed by guns like the one Kyle used in Kenosha to shoot three people. But I’m sure Kyle’s Christmas will be happy. He’s not eating prison food and he probably just got a check from Turning Point USA. He’ll probably get future checks from the NRA and other conservative conventions.

Next year, Kyle should think about renting himself out for Republican Christmas cards. You know, the ones where the entire family is holding assault rifles. Let’s hope Kyle’s fame can last until next Christmas.

What would Jesus do? He wouldn’t do this.

Music note: The tunes I listened to while tooning this morning were by U2, The Vines, Hives, Goyte, and Imagine Dragons by accident. The player selected a song it assumed I would like, and it was kinda right. I thought “this doesn’t suck totally” and I kept listening. I looked to see who it was, and it was that band I’ve heard about but never heard of, Imagine Dragons. I probably never listened to them because it’s a stupid name.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

The Cliché That Stole Build Back Better


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I’m just having some fun here with my colleagues because I saw at least four Grinch/Manchin cartoons today before noon. OK, I’m exaggerating. It may have been 1 p.m. I am the Grinch in that I may have just stolen this from every cartoonist in the nation from using. And the ones who have used it can now feel a little chunky because of me. And I didn’t even have to climb down any chimneys.

Who am I kidding? We’re still going to see a few more Grinch/Manchin cartoons this week.

Music note: I didn’t listen to anything while drawing this cartoon but I did Google the song “Welcome Christmas” for the lyrics. Until today, I never knew what they were saying. What the fuck is “fahoo fores, dahoo dores?”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Grinchy Paul


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Fun fact: Rand Paul is a jerk.

When Kentucky Senator Rand Paul isn’t screaming lies and conspiracy theories at Dr. Anthony Fauci, he’s blocking disaster relief…at least to states that are not Kentucky. How much do you have to suck to be the most despised Senator from your state even when the other senator is Mitch McConnell?

Rand Paul likes to argue he’s consistent in denying disaster relief to places hit by hurricanes, places such as Puerto Rico, Louisiana, Florida, Texas, New Jersey, New York, California, etc, etc. But he’s not consistent as he’s demanding disaster relief for his Kentucky after it was hit by tornadoes earlier this week. Maybe he voted for this one because he’s afraid that if he didn’t, his neighbor would kick his ass again.

During debates over disaster relief (yes, they had to debate this) for Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico, Paul said, “People here will say they have great compassion and they want to help the people of Puerto Rico, the people of Texas, the people of Florida, but notice they have great compassion with someone else’s money. Ask them what they’re doing to help their fellow man.” Uh, by giving them disaster relief, you stupid fuck. That’s how they’re helping their fellow man…which is something they were elected to do. Rand Paul believes he was elected to be the nation’s number one asshole.

I suppose Rand Paul has finally found “great compassion with someone else’s money.” Rand Paul only wants to help Americans who are eligible to vote for him. If only there was a way we could single out who voted for who, so we give aid only to those who voted for the right candidate. Politicians, you serve every one of your constituents, even the ones who didn’t vote for you…or think you’re a dickless MAGAt lickspittle with your head up a giant orange ass.

The first relief package during the coronavirus pandemic passed in the Senate in March 2020 with only one senator voting against it. I’ll give you one guess who that Senator was (hint: He’s an asshole). Rand Paul also voted against aid for first responders who are still struggling with health problems from 9/11. How much federal medical insurance money do you think Rand Paul is going to demand for all the brain cells he burned out while his head was up Donald Trump’s ass?

Rand Paul claims he votes against federal assistance for people who aren’t eligible to vote for him because the money has to be borrowed. But where is the money coming from to provide disaster relief to Kentucky? Hell, where did the money come from to pay for Trump’s billionaire asshole tax cuts in 2017 that Rand Paul voted for? It didn’t come from inside Trump’s ass and Paul should know because that’s where his head’s been.

It’s not just Paul who’s a hypocrite here. In 2019, 43 of the 58 GOP House members who voted against a $19-billion disaster relief bill had earlier “demanded or endorsed emergency aid funding for their own states.” I apologize for using “asshole” for the hint to the previous question because there are a LOT of Republican assholes in Congress.

In 2013, a $50.5-billion relief package for Hurricane Sandy, which hit liberal Yankee states such as New Jersey and New York, was opposed by 39 Republicans in the Senate. Of those 39, 31 had demanded disaster aid for their own states. It’s kinda like when during the pandemic, Trump and his idiot son-in-law, one-half of Javanka, only wanted to help states that voted for Trump.

Here’s another fun fact: Of the states who receive the most federal aid than they kick into the federal government, Kentucky is in 6th place. For every dollar Kentucky sends to the federal government, they get back $2.25. The state’s dependency score is 54.5 percent according to Moneygeek. Out of the top ten states that are most dependent, eight of them are Republican states. They keep voting for politicians who are anti-government spending while they’re the fattest pigs at the trough. The most welfare-dependent states are Republican states. Weird how that works out.

Kentucky, don’t thank Rand Paul for the aid you’re receiving. Thank President Joe Biden. That’s who Mitch McConnell is thanking. He tweeted, “Thank you @POTUS for your rapid approval of Kentucky’s Major Disaster Declaration. I appreciate the Administration’s quick work to speed resources to help deal with this crisis.” You can also thank Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear who made the quick request.

If you’re in one of the eight states hit by these tornadoes, you can apply for disaster relief by clicking here. You can also call 1-800-621-FEMA. Hopefully, Rand Paul doesn’t answer the phone.

Music note: Today’s drawing music was the Beastie Boys.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fox’s Flaming Fir


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Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace surprised viewers and many of his colleagues yesterday by announcing that this would be his last show and he was leaving the network, effective immediately. Shortly after, CNN announced the hiring of Wallace to be an anchor on their upcoming streaming service, CNN Plus.

Wallace turned down a contract extension with a pay raise to jump ship to an actual news network.

Fox News is losing actual news journalists. Brett Bair is probably the only prominent one who remains at the network. Shepard Smith left for CNBC in 2019. Kristin Fisher is another who recently left. Now, goodbye, Chris Wallace, who may have been the network’s best journalist.

Fox News has used Wallace as proof they’re an actual news source while firing Chris Stirewalt two months after he called Arizona for President Biden (which made a huge part of their base leave temporarily for News Max).

Fox News is actually making their network even more conservative. The network has replaced its 7:00 PM news slot with a conservative commentary show. They moved back their 11:00 PM news show an hour to give the slot to pro-Trump goon Greg Gutfield, who conservatives think is funny. Greg Gutfield’s show is like giving another talk show to Chevy Chase, but with less humor.

The network has removed liberal Juan Williams from its show, “The Five,” and Democratic analyst Donna Brazile recently left for ABC News. Even conservative pundits, Stephen Hayes and Jonah Goldberg quit last month in protest of Tucker’s lying documentary.

According to inside sources at Fox (people who work there but hate it), Wallace was frustrated working at a supposed “news” network where the agenda was being crafted by conspiracy theorists. Even worse, much of the Fox News programming has been set by Donald Trump over the past five years. If Trump says it, much of the network repeats it as fact.

Fun fact: Donald Trump doesn’t say facts.

The insiders also report that Wallace, along with Brett Bair, had complained to network executives over Tucker Carlson’s constant lie the election was stolen. The sources also state Wallace was upset and had complained about a so-called “documentary” by Tucker, titled “Patriot Purge,” which includes the false claim that the riot was a “false flag” operation created to demonize the political right.

And then there has been the network’s coverage over its own Christmas tree. The tree outside the headquarters of Fox News on 6th Avenue was set on fire, allegedly by a homeless man who may be mentally ill. Fox News’ reaction to this is that it’s a “war on Christmas” and a “hate crime” against Fox News. If you listen to Christians, Christmas is under attack and persecuted in this country. Starbucks Happy Holiday cups are probably a hate crime for not saying, “Merry Christmas.”

Fox’s commentators have referred to the tree as, “America’s Tree,” though the tradition of Fox News putting up the tree was started in 2019. Jeanine Pirro said the burning of the tree is “pure evil.” She stated on air, “It’s about good versus evil! Period!”

Ainsley Earhardt, co-host of Fox & Friends comforted his concerned viewers by promising the network will “build it back better.” Ya’ mean by going to the store and buying a new fake tree? Ainsley raised the stakes now and for his sake, this tree better be better, godammit. Maybe Ainsley can volunteer to provide all-night security just to make sure the new tree is hobo-proof. Maybe Fox News can give him a whistle.

Fox & Friends Steve Doocy said, “Apparently lighting a Christmas tree on fire is not a hate crime.” Co-host Brian Kilmeade replied, “But it is! “Who says it’s not a hate crime against us – against Fox News?” So, Fox News is a religion now? Well, I guess is it a division of the Trump Cult.

Conservatives don’t believe the murder of Ahmaud Arbery while jogging was a hate crime, but setting this fake fucking tree on fire is. What’s the next Fox News hate crime, burning a MyPillow?

Another fun fact: Like much of Fox News, that tree had no soul.

Kilmeade then went on a rant about crime. He said, “There is so much crime in places that were always safe, including 48th and Sixth here. This is emblematic of these cities out of control, defame and defund the police, and this bail reform that has these men and women, these assailants, these suspects out before they can even finish the paperwork.”

He went on, “no person is safe and no city is safe.” No Christmas tree is safe from homeless vagrants. Before you can even finish the paperwork on arrested suspects, they make bail and set out to burn down another fake Christmas tree. This is the worst thing to happen to conservatism since that time Donald Trump was forced to go out in the rain to commemorate veterans. Tucker hasn’t taken a personal blow like this since he was kicked out of that Swiss boarding school for pampered special boys. We haven’t seen attack on white Christians like this since all those black people walked in front of those gun-toting mustard-loving conservatives’ home in St. Louis, or since CNN slandered the Covington Kid by pointing out he’s a huge dick, or since that time someone somewhere tricked Kyle Rittenhouse into drinking underage in a white nationalist bar. And if you listen to the Fox fuckers, you’d believe it was the worst thing to happen to New York City since 9/11.

And you know the jerks across the street at MSNBC were craning their necks out the window to gawk and laugh at this ungodly attack on the wholesome Christian purity of Fox News. Those MSNBC savages? Was Rachel giggling?

I’m mostly surprised they haven’t blamed this assault on their fake tree on President Biden, or Vice-President Kamala Harris, or Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, or Ilhan Omar, of the rest of the squad, or Antifa, or Black Lives Matter, or Dr. Fauci, or Starbucks holiday cups, or my cartoon yesterday on Mike Nesmith (you should see my inbox), or vaccines, or people who celebrate Kwanza, or…

No wonder Chris Wallace is leaving.

Music note: While drawing today’s cartoon, I listened to Taylor Swift’s Folklore album.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Keeping up with the Boeberts


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I’m starting to think people like Republican Representatives Thomas Massie and Lauren Boebert don’t understand the meaning of Christmas.

Both Congressional goons and full-time MAGATs posted their Christmas cards on social media, which is something politicians do. How nice. Usually, when politicians do that, it’s to display their Christmas spirit and to wish all their constituents happy holidays and best wishes for the new year. Sure, it includes a little pandering but that’s expected. They’re politicians. But, Christmas cards are usually non-partisan. Even Mitch McConnell will send out a Christmas card you can’t disagree with.

But for people like Massie and Boebert, it’s now to express their Christmas spirits as much as it’s to express how vile they are. These people lost their humanity a long time ago, so how can anyone expect them to understand the spirit of Christmas?

Sure, these goons claim to be Christians but it’s not very Christ-like to use his birthday to “own the libs.” It’s also not very Christian to use your children as political props…especially them as political props while holding weapons of death.

Representative Massie tweeted out a photo of him, his wife, and their five kids holding assault weapons in front of a Christmas tree. Not to be outdone, Lauren Boebert tweeted out a similar photo of her (with an evil grin) and her four boys holding assault weapons. And, this was just days after a school shooting where four people died.

A Trump cultist colleague of mine posted the Massie photo with the text, “Because of a horrible tragedy that takes place in the country, there’s a grace period one has to wait for which to express support for a Constitutional right? Bull!”

First off, if editors tell me “too soon” about doing a cartoon against gun violence after a horrible tragedy, then it should be too soon for fucknut dingleberry MAGAts to be posting photos of them and their children pretending to be gun fluffers.

It’s never too soon for your gun fetish, right MAGAts? If guns came with vaginas, these people would be sticking their thingies in them. In fact, I just gave the assault industry a billion-dollar idea. Fully-armed sex dolls. I demand a cut so I can donate to charities against gun violence.

The other part of my “friend’s” statement I take issues with is his claim they’re expressing support for a Constitutional right. Uh, why did they pick that right out of the many rights in the Constitution? But let me point out once again, you don’t support the Constitution. You can’t make that claim after you tried to overturn an election you lost, committed a terrorist attack against the nation, and tried to install a fascist dictator. You suck when it comes to the Constitution.

Even if you love guns, why can’t you see those Christmas cards for what they are? Can’t you support the Second Amendment while also agreeing that maybe the assault weapons should be in a locked closet during the holidays? Instead of assault weapons, wouldn’t it be nicer if your children were holding kittens?

If your idea of Christmas is to own the libs and trigger people, you’re not really getting it. This is the holiday celebrating the birth of your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Sure, I’m agnostic and more of a humanist, but I do believe in the Christmas spirit. There’s nothing wrong with it, which is basically…be nice. Love each other…even your enemies. Even though I don’t believe, I return a “merry Christmas” when one is given to me. I’m not a total dick. Instead of being a gun-fluffing dick, volunteer at a soup kitchen. Donate to Toys for Tots. Maybe adopt a rescue animal. It should not be about having your children coddling a weapon of death to fa-la-la-la about mass murders.

These are weapons of death. These assault weapons were made for just one purpose, which is to kill people. And when your weapon is made to hold rounds and rounds of ammunition that can shoot as quickly as possible in order to kill as many people as possible, it’s a weapon of death. It’s a weapon of mass murder. They’re not toys for you to give your children, even if it’s only for a photo-op to trigger liberals right after a similar weapon was used to kill four children.

This vile behavior from Republicans, at least openly, started with Trump. It’s like how Nazis didn’t start marching in public until they had a friend in the White House. But after Trump made it OK for Republicans to be a bunch of shit-asses by tweeting stuff like, “Happy Thanksgiving…even to Democrat losers” and “Happy Memorial Day, even to skanky Hillary and fat Stacey Abrams,” all bets were off with his base.

I expect there to be a lot of tweets saying, “Merry Christmas, and let’s go Brandon.”

Keep in mind, gun-loving parents, that when you’re posting Christmas card photos of your children holding weapons of death, that Hana St. Julian, Madisyn Baldwin, Tate Myre, and Justin Shilling won’t be celebrating Christmas ever again. Why?

Because they were killed at Oxford High School by a weapon very similar to the one your children are posing with.

Creative note: While drawing this cartoon, I listened to Cage the Elephant, but not intentionally. My Amazon Music is still screwing with me. Intentionally, I listened to U2 and Audioslave.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fa La La La La-La-Bang Bang Bang


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So, what kind of parents are James and Jennifer Crumbley? Well, they’re the kind of parents who give their 15-year-old son, Ethan, a Sig Sauer nine-millimeter pistol. And other parents debate when it’s time to give their kids cell phones.

The Crumbleys are the kind of parents who don’t tell school officials about their kid’s gun after they’re called in to talk about their son’s drawings of murdering people.

They might be the kind of parents who don’t tell school officials at the meeting over drawings of corpses, “Hey, there’s a semi-automatic pistol currently in his backpack.”

They’re the kind of parents who go on the run after their son is arrested as the only suspect in a school shooting that killed four people. I’m sure if they got away, they’d send Ethan a birthday card to his jail cell every year.

They’re the kind of parents who claim they were going to turn themselves in after cleaning out their ATM and hiding in a friend’s Detroit warehouse for about 24 hours after missing an arraignment. Both parents are charged on multiple counts of involuntary manslaughter for not securing the gun.

They’re the kind of parents who hire defense lawyers for themselves but let their son settle for the free court-appointed lawyer.

The shooting at Oxford High School in Michigan is the deadliest at a US K-12 campus since 2018 and the 32nd such attack since August 1. The parents purchased Ethan’s gun four days before the shooting on Black Friday. Jennifer referred to it as his Christmas present. Nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus as much as an assault weapon.

There were rumors before the shooting there would be a school shooting on that day. The students knew it but apparently, the school, police, and Ethan’s parents did not…supposedly.

Ethan did not legally own his gun. Kyle Rittenhouse didn’t legally own his gun either. I’m sure the little girl in Congressman Thomas Massie’s gun fetish Christmas photo doesn’t own her gun either.

The congressman tweeted out a photo four days after the shooting where he, his wife, and their five kids, are posing in front of a Christmas tree, each holding an assault weapon. The accompanying message is, “Santa, please bring ammo.” Let’s hope for the moment that the congressman’s guns are as empty as his head.

Other than being tasteless, the congressman is encouraging more parents to give their children assault weapons.

When I was a kid, I had a gun. My gun was a 4-10 shotgun. Growing up in Louisiana and Georgia, a lot of my friends had guns. I don’t recall anyone having something other than a 4-10, 12 gauge, or a 22 rifle (When I was old enough, I a 22 rifle from K-mart, and a 12 gauge from my uncle, but he later repossessed it because I wasn’t making payments on it. I pawned the 22 after I got married and it hasn’t been fired in years). But nobody had a gun just to have a gun. Everyone hunted with their guns. It wasn’t as much of a gun culture as it was a hunting culture. It was one I didn’t really fit into and my 4-10 rusted in a closet (I was more of a city kid). But a friend of mine was shot with his 4-10. If I’m recalling the story correctly, he was shot in his bedroom while he and another friend were goofing off with it and he forgot it was loaded. He survived because it was a 4-10. Those guns are typically used for rabbits, squirrels, birds, and ex-boyfriends in the ass. He was hit in the arm and he often showed the scars off. Yes, scars. The pellets made several holes in his arm. I didn’t know him until about a year after the shooting, but I had heard about it. When I found out he was the kid in the news and in all the school rumors, I said, “That was you?” I was glad he survived. We used to shoot BB guns at each other behind the levy along the shore of the Ouachita River, which was a terrible hobby (the rule was you could only pump your gun once, but you’d hear the “clack clack clack” of a BB gun being pumped several times behind a tree during these gunfights that everyone in the neighborhood would play in). Surprisingly, nobody lost an eye.

So maybe it’s a horrible idea to give any kid a gun, any kind of gun. When I was in high school in the deep south, there were shotguns and rifles visibly displayed in the gun racks of students’ pickup trucks. Guns on school property weren’t banned. But then again, this was the 1980s and my high school had a smoking section too. I knew guys who would go hunting before school and show up in bloody orange and camoflauge hunting clothes. It was really hard to focus on a math quiz while sitting next to someone who smelled like a deer carcass.

Guns are a bad idea for kids. And in a lot of cases, they’re a bad idea for adults. There are so many guns on the open market that nobody needs to own.

There have been 407 mass shootings in the United States in 2021 that have killed 482 people. There are 2,409 victims of mass shootings this year. Of those 407 mass shootings, 222 have been school shootings. And most of those school shootings were with guns the shooters didn’t own. So, maybe we should stop promoting gun fetishes with children on fucking Christmas cards.

This is more than a crisis of bad parenting, but don’t make any mistakes about it…the Crumbleys are bad parents. And if you buy your underage kid a gun, so are you.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fudge Christmas


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I don’t begrudge Melania Trump for her comments about Christmas. I’ll say it too. Fuck Christmas stuff. Fuck Christmas decorations. Bold, eh? I just don’t really care and most Christmas music, to my ears, is total crap with there being only four good Christmas songs. OK, I don’t totally hate Christmas. I think it’s just the music and crass commercialism while other people are depressed and destitute. When I see the commercial of the guy buying two trucks for Christmas, I’m like, “fuck that guy.”

But back to Melania, she wasn’t cut out for this. Like her husband is a terrible president, Melania is a terrible first lady. It’s not just Christmas she doesn’t care about. She doesn’t care about being First Lady and it’s not a position she wants to hold. What the hell is “Be Best” when her husband is a cyber bully? What’s up with the garden photo-op in high heels? Yeah, I’m convinced she’s digging up weeds and getting her hands dirty. Her jacket said it all. She really doesn’t care, do you?

I only begrudge Melania for turning her eyes away from accusations her husband is a rapist, from him bullying women, throwing babies into cages after ripping them away from their parents, encouraging violence, validating racism, and giving shout-outs to Nazis. I hold all that against Ivanka too. Neither one of them really does care. At least Melania didn’t have much of a choice to be there. Ivanka chose to follow her father to Washington and be a troglodyte.

The people I hold it against in regards to Melania’s “fuck Christmas” comments are Trump supporters and anyone who promoted the bullshit campaign of the “war on Christmas.”

First off, if anyone is waging a war on Christmas, they’re losing. They’re losing bad too. Christmas is everywhere. I bet you heard Christmas music and saw decorations between Halloween and Thanksgiving. I’m sure you saw them in stores. I’ve seen the commercials. Santa Claus may not be watching you, but you’re watching Santa Claus. You have no choice. There is a game people are playing on social media about the Wham! song “Last Christmas.” The point of the game is to see how long you can go without hearing the song…because you have no choice. At some point between Thanksgiving and Christmas, you will hear “Last Christmas” unintentionally. My point is, you can’t escape Christmas. Somewhere, Andrew Ridgeley is hearing “Last Christmas” and saying, “Fuck Christmas!”

There has never been a “war on Christmas.” What is the “war on Christmas?” It’s another opportunity for bullshit asshole conservatives to pretend they’re the most oppressed and victimized people in the history of people.

And it seems to have sprung up when some people decided to say “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas.” Some people took offense. How dare you not say “merry Christmas.” It offends you that someone didn’t say what you want to hear while still wishing you well? And then, they got upset over Starbuck cups if they wasn’t enough Jesus on them. You have to be a whiny asshole to claim you’re oppressed by a cup. Personally, I’m only offended by a coffee cup if it contains pumpkin spice.

The reason a lot of people say “happy holidays” is because not everyone celebrates Christmas but they are probably celebrating some holiday during this time. Saying “happy holidays” is covering all the bases. Even then, I’ve never heard of a Jew or a Muslim killing someone for saying “merry Christmas” to them. From my own experience, I’ve heard Jews and Muslims say “merry Christmas” back. Why? Because they’re not assholes. And quite possibly, Jews and Muslims hope you have a merry Christmas. Even though I’m not horny for Christmas the way you are, I hope you have a merry Christmas as well.

Then, Donald Trump made the claim that after he was elected, Americans got to say “merry Christmas” again. Despite what Fox News promoted, you were never banned from saying “merry Christmas.” I’m not entirely sure where the “ban” came from. And even without a ban, I am not aware of any peer pressure on people preventing them from saying it. If anything, there’s been more pressure on people in this country to hide their beliefs if they’re NOT a Christian…or worse, don’t believe in a god at all.

Did you know Satanist don’t actually worship Satan? Why? Because they’re atheist. If there’s no god, there’s no Satan. Satanist don’t believe in Satan. If you’re a conservative, you don’t understand that at all. The only thing I don’t understand about atheist is, why have a church when you don’t believe? It seems like it goes against the point. But I digress.

But Donald Trump and his followers believe his rise to the White House liberated them and provided the confidence to say “merry Christmas” again. Can you find one of them who will tell you they stopped saying it until Trump was elected? Just one?

No. Donald Trump’s election did not restore anyone’s confidence to say “merry Christmas” again, but what it did do was give racist the confidence to make their racism public. It gave Nazis the confidence to Seig Heil in Trump hotel ballrooms. It gave tiki-torch Nazis the confidence to march in Charlottesville chanting, “Jews will not replace us” and ” Blood and soil.” It gave Proud Boys the confidence to go to peace rallies and attack people. It gave the Ku Klux Klan the confidence it needed to hold parades in honor of Donald Trump.

Isn’t it funny that racists celebrate Christmas? How do you celebrate the birth of Jesus while supporting a man who put babies in jail…and whose policies kills them? The Satanists have more compassion than you.

And how do you fear monger about a war on Christmas then remain silent when the First Lady says, “Fuck Christmas.” I bet you an Elf on a Shelf that if Michelle Obama ever said, “Fuck Christmas,” Republicans would have burned the White House down with her in it. When Melania says it, they stick their fingers in their ears and say, “fa-la-la-la-la…”

Melania Trump does not like your Christmas. She wants to take away your tinsel. She wants to unnog your eggs. She wants to unleash cats upon your Christmas trees. In her first attempt to decorate the White House for Christmas, it looked like Tim Burton on crack did it. Doesn’t her war on Christmas infuriate you? Doesn’t it just kick you in your jingle bells? Are you upset yet? No?

If you’re a Trump supporter and a Christmas lover and you’re not upset over Melania’s “fuck Christmas,” then I don’t think you love Christmas enough. Why are you waging a war on Christmas?

Now, I have to try to make it through the rest of today without someone forcing “Last Christmas” on me. I hate Wham! more than I hate Christmas.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Christmas Conspiracies


cjones12022020

During the impeachment hearings last year, Corey Lewandowsky whined when a Congressman mentioned that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Corey was indignant because his young children were watching and now…they only had all the bullshit their father spreads to believe in. So, I hope Corey Lewandowsky’s children aren’t reading today’s blog.

If Donald Trump sat on Santa’s lap and asked for a litany of bullshit like proof of voter fraud, witnesses, affidavits, and forensic evidence, Santa wouldn’t be able to give him any of it. Why? Because like Santa Claus, none of those things exist. Santa also wouldn’t be able to give Trump another four years or a pardon. Maybe Donald Trump should go back and sit on Rudy Giuliani’s lap or better yet…be like Melania and say “fuck Christmas.”

It’s been nearly a month since the election and Donald Trump is still spreading lies about it. In the process, he’s undermining democracy. He’s even calling Republicans officials who won’t steal the election for him in their states, “enemy of the people.” As a member of the group he first accused of being the enemy of the people, I say welcome to the club. I’m old school “enemy of the people.” Dictators call people who report facts or won’t help them in their corruption “enemy of the people.” Donald Trump is not a dictator, but he will be if he steals this election.

How old are Corey Lewandowsky’s kids? Are any of them too old to believe in Santa yet? How about believing in Donald Trump?

Most Trump supporters are too old to believe in Santa Claus. But being the Qanon fuckwits that they be, they still believe in bullshit Donald Trump says like there was mass voter fraud in 2016 even though he hasn’t been able to prove it over the past four years. They still believe him when he says there was voter fraud in 2020 despite the lack of evidence and despite the inability of his legal team to present any evidence in the nearly 40 court cases that have been tossed out. They believe Trump when he says votes were moved from Trump to Biden. They believe communists, the Clinton Foundation, George Soros, and the dearly departed Hugo Chavez stole the election for Joe Biden. Seriously, Santa Claus is easier to believe in than all this Trump bullshit.

Trump supporters, you’re too old for this. Just because Donald Trump is a raging idiot who believes in conspiracy theories doesn’t mean you have to be one too. You can do better than Donald Trump. And stop giving him money to steal the election. If he’s as rich as you’ve been bragging about over the past four years, he shouldn’t need it. Let him fund his own election steal.

And if Santa Claus truly did exist, Donald Trump would be on his naughty list for being a liar, racist, sexist, traitor, grifter, and for ripping families apart and throwing babies in jail. I don’t have a naughty list but I do have a worthless lying orange shit-for-brains racist sexist grifter list. Guess whose name is on that.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Two Corinthians


cjones12252019

If you’re an evangelical and a Trump supporter and my Christmas wish to you is that your children adopt the behavior, manners, and characteristics of Donald Trump, would you find that offensive? Did I wish evil upon your children?

If so, then why do you demonstrate to your children that Donald Trump’s behavior isn’t just acceptable, but should be encouraged, championed, and defended?

It’s OK for you if your president boasts about assaulting women, bullies them along with the handicapped and children, but not for your children to do it? Is it OK if your children lie on a daily basis on all matters large and small? Is it OK if your children cheat and lie to get ahead? Is it OK if your children seek to destroy anyone they perceive to be critical of them? Is it OK for your children to disrespect POWs? Are you fine with your kids taking credit for other people’s accomplishments? Do you hope your child steals from charity? How about being a serial adulterer and lacking all loyalty? Are you alright with your kids never outgrowing name-calling and turning into selfish, narcissistic assholes?

OK then. I take it back. I don’t wish for your children to grow up to be like Donald Trump. But maybe my other wish for them is even worse because that’s for them to grow up to be just like you.

Merry Christmas.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Ugly Impeachment Sweater


CNN12192019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

We published this week’s newsletter on Friday, which was a few days earlier than usual. As you see, I drew on the impeachment.

It amazes me that a lot of people still don’t understand impeachment. Many think it means Trump is out of office. Others think he’s not impeached unless the Senate convicts. For those who slept during civics class, Donald Trump is impeached. There is no changing that fact. He’s impeached, impeached, impeached. Done deal. He’s one of only three presidents to have been impeached. It doesn’t matter what the Senate does, he’s still impeached. No, he is not removed from office and won’t be unless the Senate convicts, which in this case, probably won’t. No president has ever been removed from office by the Senate.

Now, you can expect Donald Trump to wear his ugly impeachment sweater as a badge of honor. He’ll campaign in it while telling his supporters that he’s a victim and the “assault” on him is an assault on them. They’ll buy it so get ready to hear that, not just for the entire duration of the 2020 presidential campaign, but for the rest of your life.

I think this is my first Christmas-themed cartoon of the year. I’m doing a second today for my newspaper clients, and that will be my last until next year. Out of all the political cartoonists in the country, I probably draw the fewest holiday-themed cartoons.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.