Christmas

Trumpy Naughty List


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Yes. Trump Bear is a real thing. A reader of mine didn’t know that until I included Trumpy Bear in a cartoon last week. The commercials can be found late at nights, around the same time as those freaky My Pillow, catheter, and bent penis commercials. No, they’re not selling bent penises, yet.

Any of those products would make a suitable gift for the shitweasel on your Christmas list, but Trump Bear is Trumpian. He’s made in China, doesn’t have a brain, and looks ridiculous. Only thing is, I wouldn’t let it sleep with your child because I just wouldn’t trust it.

I think everyone who voted for Donald Trump, or a Republican in the midterms, should get a Trumpy Bear, and nothing but Trump Bear. Of course, those sick twisted bastards might just enjoy it.

Though I do feel sorry for the Nazi children who have nothing to look forward to on Christmas morning except for Trumpy Bear and that Lego Knockoff Build A Wall kit.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

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Happy Holidays And Stuff


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I want to thank everyone who has supported my cartooning over the past year. Whether you’ve contributed financially, left a comment, shared with a friend or on social media, helped edit the site (Frank), or cursed at me, thank you very much. You’ve helped keep this going. And, thank you for helping me continue the war on Christmas. We shall vanquish the one they call Claus yet!!!

I hope you and everyone you love and even kinda sorta care about has a great holiday season.

Thank you from the bottom of my cold, cynical heart.

– Clay

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Christmas Award


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This is the only cartoon I’ve drawn this year with a Christmas theme. If you were expecting one, sorry about that. No, I’m not sorry.

This cartoon is dated for Christmas day, when I plan to pretend to be Jewish and order Chinese food and watch A Christmas Story at least twice. Thank you for following and reading my cartoons and blogs over the past year. Have a happy holiday, Hanukkah, merry Christmas and all that stuff.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Have A Cocked And Loaded Christmas


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Note to my conservative friends: There is more than one use for the word “cocked.”

Back when I was a staff cartoonists I was always required to draw cartoons commemorating Christmas, Thanksgiving, Veterans’ Day, Memorial Day and whatever else came up. I hated them. It was like approaching the drawing board with the mission “draw a bad cartoon today.”

There’s a lot to miss not being on staff at a newspaper. I miss the paycheck and benefits. I miss the people. I miss the arguments in the newsroom. I don’t miss the required pandering. My editor ran the same syndicated cartoon every year on Christmas Eve of Santa in his sleigh waving a newspaper with the headline “Santa visits Fredericksburg.” The cartoon had a blank spot where editors could paste the name of their town. I would argue with him every year to stop running the cartoon and ask “how many readers of our editorial page still believe in Santa Claus?” I stopped fighting him about it after a few years and just took the day off.

Since I don’t have editors cracking whips on me anymore then I’m not going to purposely draw bad cartoons. I’ll draw them and realize they’re bad later.

I’m not against using holidays as metaphors and analogies. They are current events. I do hate the tired cliches like sitting on Santa’s lap asking for stuff. I refuse to draw that cartoon ever again. Though back on my staff days, I’d save the lap analogy for a tough idea day in December when deadline was looming. It was always an easy out. Now I just try harder. Freedom and drawing your own ethical lines is expensive, but it’s kinda worth it.

I hope each and every single one of you has a happy holiday, Christmas, whatever you wanna call it. I don’t have any plans so I’ll probably be drawing cartoons.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

A Caffeinated War On Christmas


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It’s very bizarre to me that the group who says people should stop being so easily offended and politically correct goes ballistic when they receive a cup with nothing on it.

Sometimes we’re a really dumb country. One presidential candidate brags about attacking his mother with a hammer and trying to stab another relative while another candidate is saying if he could go back in time he’d kill baby Hitler. What’s even weirder is that neither of those candidates are Donald Trump.

Now religious freaks are up in arms over a cup that doesn’t have jingle bells on it.

Starbucks, like most establishments, issues assorted packaging with holiday decorations on them. This year they issued a red cup without any decorations. Conservatives have taken this as the first shot in the annual War On Christmas. Instead of going to another establishment that may serve expensive coffee in a Jesus cup they would rather make viral videos bemoaning that a cup has ruined their holiday. They’re also upset that there’s a mall that hasn’t put up a Christmas tree.

Is it too much to ask for Thanksgiving and Black Friday to get by us before we have ridiculous arguments about how much of your religion has to be shoved in society’s face? Apparently it is too much to ask.

This is very much a First World problem. While some in the world are starving, trying to escape a civil war, trying to survive, we have the luxury to argue over a cup.

Sometimes I have a hard time choosing which issue I’m going to draw because I can only tackle one ridiculous problem at a time.

Happy holidays!

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.