Editorial cartoons

If Biden Wins


cjones08102020

You would think Donald Trump is talking out of his ass and making up wild bullshit out of desperation from losing to Joe Biden, except Donald Trump always talks out of his ass and makes up wild bullshit.

Donald Trump said if Biden wins, he’ll, “Take away your guns, take away your Second Amendment. No religion, no anything. Hurt the Bible. Hurt God. He’s against God. He’s against guns. He’s against energy, our kind of energy.”

He also claimed Biden will get rid of cops and fracking. The fracking thing might be the only thing close to being true. Why didn’t Trump include grandmas, baseball, apple pie, and puppies?

Joe Biden has based his entire career on his faith. It’s something he’s talked about again and again. He talked about how his faith helped him get through the loss of his first wife, daughter, and son. When Pope Francis visited the United States in 2015, Joe Biden met him on the tarmac, went with him to Mass at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and accompanied the Pope to Philadelphia. He called the Pope, “the single most popular figure in the world.”

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Russians meddlers spread lies that Pope Francis endorsed Trump. Donald Trump never knocked those claims down.

When Donald Trump talks about religion, he says he has never asked for forgiveness and when he has been to church, that’s where you eat your “little crackers and drink your little wine.”

The last time Donald Trump went to a church, he had the military teargas peaceful protesters so he could walk to it from the White House, stand outside the church on a Monday afternoon, hold “a” Bible upside down(when asked if it was his, he said it was “a Bible”), all for a photo-op. Then he walked back to the White House. No statements. No prayers. Nothing but a photo which was made possible by Attorney General William Barr and Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, who later said he regretted it.

Religious leader and hater of zipping up his pants, Jerry Falwell Jr. is a big Trump fan and thinks the coronavirus is an evil plot to destroy Trump. What was in that glass of “black water?”

Evangelicals love Donald Trump. Many believe he was sent by God. Donald Trump believes he was sent by God. Donald Trump has claimed he’s the “Chosen One.” The Republican Party has turned into a cult that treats Trumpism as a religion. There is nothing to believe in but Trump. Christians who support Donald Trump are not Christians.

A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump using a church for a photo-op. A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump saying he doesn’t need forgiveness. A Christian wouldn’t support a man who brags about “grabbing them by the pussy.” A Christian wouldn’t support a grifter like Donald Trump who steals from charities to purchase paintings of himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who is the king of vanity and can’t stop praising himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who mocks the handicapped and puts children into jails. A Christian would not support a man who claims his opponent hates the Bible and will hurt God. A Christian would reject a man who claims he’s the “Chosen One.” A Christian would not support a man who lies. A Christian would not support Mr. Two Corinthians.

A real Christian would support removing Donald Trump from the Oval Office.

Joe Biden hurt God? A Christian would know that’s impossible. Donald Trump is no Christian.

If you claim you are a Christian and you support Donald Trump, do us all a favor and blow it out your ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Defund The NRA


cjones08092020

The National Rifle Association has been a very secretive organization for decades. They won’t publicize their funding or even how many members they have, but there is one thing we know about them. They’re evil incarnate.

For years, the lobbying group has controlled the Republican Party (also evil) and has succeeded in blocking even the lightest of gun regulations. As more and more Americans die from gun violence each year, including children from mass shootings at their schools, the NRA pushes for more guns in our society.

The NRA has advocated for semi-automatic weapons over the lives of children for years. The NRA has blood on its hands. The NRA labels every proposed gun regulation as an attack on the 2nd Amendment. The NRA has positioned itself as the 2nd Amendment. And for years, like every gun nut on the internet, the NRA ignores the part of the 2nd Amendment that mentions “regulated.”

The 2nd Amendment is the most sacred part of the Constitution to Republicans as they describe themselves as Constitutionalists and argue the Amendment shouldn’t be touched. But if they could, they’d take out the word “regulated.” Of course, the 2nd Amendment is the only amendment they’ve read.

Now, the state of New York is going to war with the National Rifle Association. New York isn’t just looking to put a hurting on the NRA. New York is out to obliterate the NRA.

New York Attorney General Letitia James filed a 168-page lawsuit with the state Supreme Court seeking to dissolve the NRA and claimed four of its top officials “funneled millions into their own pockets” and described the NRA as “a breeding ground for greed, abuse, and brazen illegality.”

The suit was followed by another by the Attorney General of Washington, D.C., who filed suit against the N.R.A. and its charitable foundation, alleging the NRA misused millions of dollars of the foundation’s funds. So the NRA has a charity…just like Donald Trump did.

It’s funny how Republicans chastised the Clinton Foundation for years as corrupt, without ever having proof. Today, the NRA is being sued for corruption and the Trump Foundation doesn’t exist anymore.

The NRA is countersuing New York, claiming its 1st Amendment rights are being attacked and the lawsuit is entirely political. Proving the 2nd Amendment is the only one they’ve read, there is nothing in the 1st that grants you the right to steal money.

The NRA was chartered as a non-profit in New York state 148 years ago though their headquarters are in Virginia outside the capital. The four top dogs in the NRA being sued are Wayne LaPierre, the longtime chief executive, John Frazer, the organization’s general counsel; Josh Powell, a former top lieutenant of LaPierre; and Wilson Phillips (not the 80’s group that sang “Hold on for one more day,” but that might be appropriate here), a former chief financial officer.

LaPierre is accused of raiding N.R.A. funds to bankroll an extravagant lifestyle, even after being paid millions in salary and benefits.

The suit says over six and a half years, a personal travel consultant for LaPierre was paid $13.5 million, largely on no-bid contracts. Private flights were chartered for LaPierre’s wife and his niece. He took frequent trips to the Bahamas on the N.R.A.’s dime, often decamping to a 108-foot yacht called “Illusions” (how appropriate) that was owned by an N.R.A. contractor and included a chef and four staterooms. He lavished gifts from Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman on his inner circle, and once put his niece up at a Four Seasons hotel for eight nights at a cost of more than $12,000.

The suit says the executives enriched themselves, their friends, families, and allies, and took improper actions that cost the organization $64 million over three years. The lawsuit seeks to ban the executives from EVER again serving on nonprofit boards in the state of New York. Hmm. Just like Donald Trump and his three oldest kids after using their fake charity in similar corrupt manners.

This is a civil suit and the state’s AG has referred it to the IRS. There may be a criminal referral in the future. They should probably keep their eyes on LaPierre who likes to visit the Bahamas a lot. We have an extradition treaty with that country, right? Psst. We do.

The NRA is evil. It’s so evil, Russia is a big advocate for it. Why would Russia, a nation with strict gun control laws, send spies to infiltrate the NRA? Because Russia knows the organization helps destabilize the United States. There are still investigations into whether the NRA was used by Russia to funnel money into Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Leading up to the 2016 election, the NRA was a Russian asset.

Donald Trump said about the investigation, “That’s a very terrible thing that just happened The N.R.A. should move to Texas and lead a very good and beautiful life.” The word “Beautiful” is one of Donald Trump’s big words which is included in nearly every Donald Trump statement but at least he didn’t pronounce Texas as “Thexas.” By the way, the NRA can’t move its organization while it’s under investigation.

In the past, the state Attorney General referred to the NRA as a “terrorist organization.” They do support easy access to gun by terrorists. In fact, they’ve lobbied to defend a terrorist’s rights to get guns.

LaPierre is also said to have secured for himself, without board approval, a post-employment contract worth more than $17 million. This guy has used the NRA to enrich himself, just like Donald Trump used his bogus charity to enrich himself. What will we learn next? That LaPierre used NRA funds to buy portraits of himself and Tim Tebow-signed football helmets?

The Attorney General’s office took down the Trump Foundation. It took down Trump University. Now, it’s gunning (pun intended) for the National Rifle Association.

Could we actually see the dissolving of two evil organizations in one year? This would be a much safer nation, to itself and the world, with the destruction of the NRA and the Trump administration.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

An Argument For School Beatings


cjones08082020

Yesterday, I read a post by a conservative Trump-supporting fucknut who claimed his child’s pediatrician is all for schools reopening and for children to attend classes in person. There’s always that one dentist who endorses the cavity-creating gum.

First off, he’s probably lying because this person does that a LOT, plus, he’s a Trump supporter which also means he could be lying or not comprehending what the pediatrician actually said. But the big takeaway I have from this is, get another pediatrician. Or maybe your kid should find new parents.

It’s bad enough your pediatrician is playing politics with your child’s life, but you? You’re willing to throw your kid off a cliff and believe there’s a net to catch him because Donald Trump, who has told over 20,000 lies as president, says there’s a net?

Everybody wants schools to reopen. Just like nobody is arguing the country should be closed permanently, I haven’t heard anyone make the case for never reopening schools. I remember when my kid was little. I remember pulling my hair out. I remember wanting to run away and never to be seen or heard from again. I remember those days of wanting to kill your kid while still loving him. I remember hours upon hours of, “why?”. I get it. Get those kids out of the house and back in school. But I know now is not the time.

Southern states made an argument to reopen in the midst of the Trump Virus. They were wrong and more people died. Donald Trump made an argument to restart his hate rallies. He was wrong and people died. Ask Herman Cain. Oh wait. You can’t. So, the same people who were wrong about reopening their states and hate rallies still want to try it with schools? They still want to play politics with your kids’ lives?

Yesterday, Donald Trump said kids are “virtually immune” to the Trump Virus. That’s not wrong. It’s a flat-out lie. He knows it’s a lie and he keeps saying it. Remember his other lies about the virus? It’s going to disappear? It’ll be gone by Easter? Everyone who wants a test can get a test? Hey, take some malaria medication? Hey, drink bleach?

Here’s a crazy idea that’s as wild as not voting for the candidate endorsed by Russia: Don’t listen to Donald Trump especially when it comes to the life of your child. Don’t support the candidate willing to sacrifice your child for his own personal gain.

Here’s a test about whether or not you’re in a cult: If you’re still supporting the guy willing to kill your kid for his narcissism, you’re in a cult. Here’s another one: If you’re defending Dr. Demon Sperm, you’re in a cult (I’m looking at you, every Republican political cartoonist).

But then again, Donald Trump did make a very strong argument for the importance of education. Kids need school. If they don’t go, they may never become fully literate. If that happens, someday they may be forced to read aloud as an adult and they won’t be able to pronounce “Yosemite.”

To sum up, until we can get our kids back in school, Dr. Clay recommends hours on top of hours of old Bugs Bunny cartoons. Look how I turned out?

Disclaimer: I’m not a real doctor, but I have drawn cartoons of them.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Why, Covid, Why?


cjones08072020

In the midst of a pandemic, it seems the safest and surest way of voting would be by mail. Naturally, the idea of as many Americans as possible exercising their Constitutional right to vote for their chosen candidate scares the hell out of Republicans. Why? Because Republicans do better with fewer people voting. Republicans do better when they disenfranchise people from voting.

More people vote for Democrats than for Republicans in this country. That’s a fact. The only way Republicans control the Senate is because there are two Senators for each state. There are 42 states in this country that has a smaller population than Los Angeles County alone. So, a state like Wyoming, which only has around 580,000 people has just as much representation in the United States Senate as California, a state with a population approaching 40 million. One of the mantras of the American Revolution was, “No taxation without representation.” What about under-representation?

The 22 smallest U.S. states would have to be added together to match California’s population. So basically, there are 38 million Americans with 44 Senators and there is another 38 million with only 2. So our Senate system is unfair. Why should Californians be punished and under-represented? This is the same argument with the electoral college. Republicans believe acres of dirt should have more representation than people in blue states.

It’s just as bad with Congress. While you can’t gerrymander a state, you can with districts. Both parties have played the game of gerrymandering by redrawing district lines when their party controls their state legislature. But Republicans are much worse, or perhaps much better at it. In 2018, Democrats picked up 38 seats in Congress by winning 53% of the vote nationally in Congressional races. In 1994, during that huge wave of Republicans riding on Newt Gingrich’s Contract With America bullshit, the GOP picked up 54 seats in Congress by winning 51% of the vote.

Do you see what I see? Do you see the fact? Democrats needed a bigger margin of votes to win Congress in 2018…and they still got fewer seats than the GOP did when they took over Congress in 94. Republicans got more with less. How? Cheating!

Why do Democrats need more people to vote to beat Republicans, and still get less when they win? Because Republicans cheat. They gerrymander. They disenfranchise voters. They restrict who can vote. They remove people from voting rolls (Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, college students, etc). They remove voting precincts in minority neighborhoods. And, they ask foreign nations for help.

Worst of all, Donald Trump is president (sic) despite losing the popular vote. Despite that, Trump supporters love to say he’s the choice of the American people. He wasn’t then and he won’t be in 2020.

And still, Republicans make shit up about voter fraud. The idea here is when Donald Trump loses, there will be doubt among his supporters. There are still idiots for Trump who believe over 3 million non-citizens voted in 2016. They don’t have any proof but then again, they also believe Obama is a Kenyan who wiretapped Trump Tower.

Donald Trump claimed that there were over 3 million illegal voters in 2016. He created an election commission that disbanded after it couldn’t’ find any voter fraud. When Democrat Doug Jones won Jeff Sessions’ former Senate seat in Alabama, Republicans claimed black people were bussed in from Mississippi to vote. Donald Trump even argued that IDs should be required to vote because you need them to buy cereal, probably because one time, Eric was told Trix are for kids.

And now, there are cries about voter fraud with mail-in voting. It doesn’t exist. Donald Trump says absentee voting is fine, but mail-in voting isn’t. He’s fine with absentee voting because that’s how he votes. The thing is, absentee and mail-in voting are the same things.

And now, Donald Trump is suing to stop Nevada from mail-in voting while saying it’s OK if Florida does it. His argument for why it’s OK for Florida but not Nevada? Because Republicans control Florida. This is not a theory or speculation. He said it outright. And since Republicans control Florida, especially a Republican Trump sycophant who would rather watch his people die than risk provoking an angry Trump tweet, they can steal the election for Donald Trump.

Do you remember the hanging chad thing in the 2000 election? Who won Florida that year? The Supreme Court told the state to stop counting after the Republicans there, installed by George W. Bush’s brother, gave him the election. Al Gore won Florida but they gave it to Bush.

Whether it’s mail-in voting or in person, the Republicans are going to try to steal the election. It’s what they do. Why? Because they’re Republicans. They were cheating before Trump came along, but now with Trump, it’s much more brazen and stupid. They don’t hide it well.

Donald Trump literally said he’s OK with mail-in voting in Florida because his corrupt party controls the state.

This time it’s, “DeSantis, if you’re listening.” He’s listening.

Democrats need more to win honestly than Republicans need to win by cheating. The turnout for 2020 needs to be as high as possible. It’s why Trump is fighting to stop mail-in voting, except in Florida, which has a long history of corruption.

While Donald Trump can’t find any evidence of voter fraud, we have plenty of evidence of Republican fraud.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

It Is What It Is


cjones08062020

I’ve heard people say, “It is what it is” my entire life. It seems to have gained a lot of traction over the past two decades. But basically, if you’re in a conversation looking for resolution or an answer or even that the person you’re talking with is concerned about the subject, the expression you do not want to hear is, “It is what it is.”

“Is what it is” is a person telling you they can’t do anything about it, they’re moving on, but they don’t want you to believe they’re throwing their hands in the air and giving up. According to the Urban Dictionary, it means “fuck it.”

And, if you’re hearing the president (sic) of the United States talk on a subject of great concern to the nation, like one that’s killed over 156,000 people, the last thing you want to hear coming out of his rancid, pursed, pucker-up, racist mouth is, “It is what it is.”

It means nothing can be done about it. Of course, Donald Trump can’t bring back the dead, though his supporters might argue he can while walking on water, but when he says, “It is what it is” about 156,000 people dead, he’s saying, “Fuck it. I don’t care. I can’t learn from it. Oh well…what’s for dinner?”

Carrying on the theme of the last blog, Donald Trump doesn’t give a flying fig fuck about you, or anyone, or anything, unless that one or thing is Donald Trump.

Do you know who says, “It is what it is”? People with herpes.

The Urban Dictionary also states it exhibits helplessness. Like we don’t already know Donald Trump is helpless, useless, clueless, and not worth a damn in helping with anything.

It means cry me a river, tough titties, deal with it or don’t, I don’t care, I can’t change it, I don’t know what to do, etc. A man who is 74-years old with a small penis says, “It is what it is.” If it hasn’t gotten bigger by now….It is what it is.

You hear the phrase “it is what it is” from people who were recently fired, kicked out of their band, sent to prison, just dumped out of their relationship, or just washed something red with all their whites. I’ve used it myself to describe my relationships with family members who support Donald Trump. When I say, “It is what it is” about them, it means it’s not going to change and there’s nothing I can or am willing to do about it. It means I’ve given up on them. They’re gone. It means, “Fuck them.”

When Donald Trump says, “It is what it is” about 156,000 dead Americans on his watch, he’s saying “fuck it.”

I say, “Fuck Donald Trump.”

And when Donald Trump is tossed out of the White House to prison, hey…It is what it is.

Note: I wanted to jam this one out quickly so I forgot to record it. So, there will not be an animation for this one. This will bring heartbreak and trauma to about three people.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Republican Rescue


cjones08052020

After Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico in 2017, Donald Trump went to the island, after discovering it was an island, and threw out paper towels. Then, he proceeded to lie about the death toll and trash the residents of the United States territory, after he found out it was a United States territory.

Today, a lot of people still don’t get the fact, despite three years of evidence, that Donald Trump doesn’t give a flying fuck about anything unless it’s Donald Trump.

Take Donald Trump’s latest interview with Axios. When asked if he was impressed by the late congressman and civil rights icon John Lewis, Trump couldn’t answer the question except to complain Lewis didn’t come to his inauguration or his State of the Union speeches. Again, for Donald Trump, it’s all about DonaldTrump.

While millions of Americans are still unemployed with the extra $600 a week unemployment benefit expiring and facing evictions, Congress went on a three-day weekend. Democrats have had a plan on the table for months. It passed the House while it’s languished in the Senate. Republicans don’t like it because it’s too nice and doesn’t help out enough billionaire assholes. Republicans are afraid it’ll make poor and middle-class people lazy and a bunch of grifters, you know…like the president (sic).

Initially, the Trump White House, with negotiations led by Treasury Secretary Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, demanded cuts to testing and to the Center for Disease Control in a pandemic that’s killed over 150,000 Americans. But guess what the White House did demand to be inserted into the relief package?

Donald Trump has demanded at least $1.8 billion in the relief package to go for a new FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C. You might ask yourself, What the fuck does that have to do with the coronavirus? How does that help out anybody being hurt by this pandemic?

The answer is, it doesn’t. As Donald Trump said in that Axios interview about the death toll, “It is what it is.”

Before Trump came into office, there were plans to move the FBI headquarters out of the city. Maryland and Virginia both wanted the new HQ and that was the initial squabble. It’s a lot of money and jobs. Washington actually wants it to leave the city so they can use that prime downtown space for retail and make much more money from taxes than from another bloated government agency that Donald Trump has turned into his own personal goon squad.

Why does Donald Trump want the building to stay in the capital? The cynical person would bet it’s because Donald Trump has a financial stake in it. Shame on those cynics. Shame, for shame. The truth is…yeah. That prime retail space might go towards a hotel…one that would compete directly against the Trump Hotel which is nearby. Fortunately, it has been removed because it was even hard for Republican assholes to swallow.

Donald Trump also wants the government to receive a finders fee, gratuity, or tribute for the sale of the Chinese app, TikTok, if Microsoft buys it. I know deep down inside this story, there’s a payoff to Trump. Also, what happened to Republicans being against heavy regulations and higher payouts to the government? This is weird. What do Republicans really believe in anymore?

While running for president, Donald Trump promised a replacement for Obamacare. He said it was going to be “bigger, better, and cheaper.” We still haven’t seen it. He promised they wouldn’t try to repeal Obamacare until they had a replacement. They ended up trying, and failing, to repeal it before they had a replacement. Two weeks ago, he said the new plan would be unveiled in two weeks. That was over two weeks ago and still nothing. Instead, during this pandemic that’s killed over 150,000 Americans, Trump is still trying to kill Obamacare.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about you. Ask Herman Cain. Wait. You can’t. He’s dead from catching the Trump Virus at a Trump rally.

Trump and Republicans had four months at least to prepare for the unemployment and eviction protections to run out. Instead, they took vacations. Trump played a lot of golf. At this point, you’ll be lucky to get paper towels.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Virtual Fans


cjones08042020

Because of the coronavirus, fans haven’t been allowed into professional sports. But, the leagues are attempting to recreate a live atmosphere for their games.

In Major League Baseball, there are cutouts of human beings in the stands. With lifeless fans, it truly does make the game more boring. But, baseball isn’t going go be able to finish their season anyway (that’s a not-so-bold prediction).

The NBA is actually piping fans in. That is, they’re on screens watching the game in real-time so there are actual genuine reactions to what’s happening.

World Wrestling Entertainment company was the first “sport” to return because after giving Republicans a shit ton of money, Florida’s governor declared wrestling an “essential” service. Apparently in Florida, it’s essential to see people get clobbered in their heads with chairs and thrown through tables. But, they have actual fans in attendance. Granted, they’re trainees so technically, these “fans” are being paid to be there. So, I guess that kinda makes them virtual fans.

Also, soccer, hockey, and NASCAR are playing again (does NASCAR “play?”) but I haven’t watched any of those yet and when I do, it’ll just be hockey.

It seems Donald Trump might want to take a cue from professional sports.

The Trump Campaign boasted about the million people ordering tickets to his Tulsa rally. The venue could seat about 19,000 people but only 6,000 showed up and it killed Trump’s black friend Herman Cain. It was a sad day. Also, it got his Campaign Manager and grifter Brad Parscale fired. On top of all that, Trump is now planning to ban TikTok because K-pop fans used the app to organize fake ticket requests (also, there’s a brilliant comedian, Sarah Cooper, doing lip-sync impersonations of Trump that’s really pissing him off).

Over the weekend, when Donald Trump wasn’t golfing, he went to Florida for a fundraiser and ended up holding a mini Trump rally on the tarmac after getting off the plane. Donald Trump ranted his usual set, playing all the hits, to a…did I say “mini Trump rally? Yeah, he played all the hits to a very sparse crowd doing their best not to wear face masks in order to catch the coronavirus for Donald Trump. I’m using the word “sparse” generously here.

How “sparse” was it? It was so sparse, the White House released a photo of it where…wait for it…they photo-shopped in more people. Actually, it wasn’t more people. It was the same people. They took the crowd and multiplied it. So, if you look at the photo carefully, you see the same racist assholes several times. It’s kinda like when Fox News shows a photo of Jeffrey Epstein, they crop out Donald Trump. Seriously.

Altering pictures of Donald Trump isn’t new to this White House, In the past, they’ve doctored photos to make Donald Trump appear thinner and stand up straight. They’ve even added crowds to his crowds, usually by taking crowds from much more popular events, like Antique Road Show (I made that up, sort of). It’s kinda like whenever Melania delivers a speech, she has to steal it from Michelle Obama, who by the way, is probably going to be missing some roses from her rose garden very soon.

I expect the Republicans to pipe people into their convention later this month. Holy crap! That’s this month? But anyway, maybe they’ll do it like the NBA and display screens of fans in real-time. I mean, sure it won’t be as diverse as an NBA audience but it could be Trump’s best opportunity to actually feature black people in his crowd…you know…that they’re not going to kill later. And maybe they can actually feature someone wearing a “Blacks for Trump” shirt who is actually a black person.

Donald Trump always boasted that large attendance at his rallies proves how popular he is. So using his logic, or what little of it there actually is, what do small crowds say about his support? I mean, if you can’t even get the racist assholes to come out in Florida, you’re might be kinda doomed. Maybe they were all watching wrestling.

I miss fans at actual sports (not wrestling or NASCAR). They’re a part of the game. But I’m not going to miss seeing thousands of racist Republicans on my TV. Or at least, they won’t be in the same room as the event. I’m looking forward to the dead air hurting Donald Trump’s tiny feeble feelings. The true irony is that Donald Trump’s fans are fake anyway. They’re fake patriots. They’re fake Christians. Hell, they’re fake Americans.

And maybe after November, we won’t have to deal with a fake president anymore.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Biden’s Pick


CNN08022020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

The funniest thing about this cartoon is that a few people who left comments about it on social media took it seriously. They were like, “No, we can’t trust her. She’s a Trump.” and, “I would prefer so and so blah blah blah.”

People. It’s a cartoon. I’m not advocating for Joe Biden to pick Mary Trump. In fact, she’s not even a candidate among his prospects.

It’s a cartoon. Sometimes, I want to virtually slap people on the back of their heads.

OK, who do you want to see Joe pick?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

 

Roughing It, Volume 57


Time to check out some roughs.

CNNrough882

When I sent this idea to CNN, I was showing a concept and not a completed idea. Then they picked it and I really had to go to work writing everything for it. I wasn’t excited about all the lettering I had to do.

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But it was worth it. I was very happy with the way it turned out and it got crazy shares on social media.

CNNrough873

I’m glad I did not draw this cartoon because every political cartoonist in the country has drawn a covid baseball by now. Stop it, guys. Just stop it. Hmmmm….maybe I’ll do a covid hockey puck. NO NO NO!!!!

CNNrough883

Speaking of lame ideas. I was getting desperate when I threw this one out. It’s such an awful and worn out cliche. The only person who can bring any justice to these kind of cliches is usually Tom Toles. In fact, he did do a sinking ship last week and it was brilliant.

CNNrough881

I was trying to show the disparity between the eloquence, brilliance, and class of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and whatever it is that’s wrong with Donald Trump.

CNNrough880

This was my first suburbs idea. I kinda liked it but was a little daunted with how it’d work out artistically. It’s also based on that fear-mongering Trump campaign commercial. More about that in a minute.

CNNrough879

Yeah, no, but dogs know more words than Donald Trump.

CNNrough878

I liked my cowboys. I still may do something with this concept. Republicans are such hypocrites without any principles. Donald Trump could start blowing chemtrails out his ass and they’d all be like, “yay, ass chemtrails!”.

CNNrough877

I didn’t draw this one because I figured someone else would too. I haven’t seen it yet. Yet.

CNNrough876

I was trying to do something here with an empty convention and it wasn’t working.

CNNrough875

Do you know that commercial from the Trump Campaign where someone’s trying to call the police but there aren’t any because they’ve been defunded and it’s showing violent scenes and warning that’ll be Joe Biden’s America, yet all the footage is from Trump’s America? This cartoon is based on that. Next, they’ll say Joe Biden’s America will kill over 150,000 Americans with a virus.

CNNrough874

I liked this one. The Trump photo-op national tour.

CNNrough871

As you see, I started to draw this cartoon. The entire thing was going to be one huge crowd scene. Yes, Waldo would have been included. In the middle of it, I stopped and did something else. I’m glad too. By the way, I threw an alien in there for shits and giggles and that was before the Demon Sperm Alien DNA lady came out.

CNNrough872

I was going to draw this one but change the guy to a mom in a yellow shirt. I may bring it back depending on how things develop.

Are any of these good? Should I have made an official cartoon out of any of them? If so, tell me which ones.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.