Editorial cartoons

Briefed By Ivanka


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Saudi Arabia is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman. Women can’t drive, vote, ask for a divorce, or even be seen in public without being in the company of a man. It’s like every woman in the nation is married to Mike Pence.

The United Nations has placed Saudi Arabia on the Women’s Rights Commission which made a lot of people say “you put who where now?”. The Arab kingdom mandates discrimination against women. How does it make any sense to put them on a commission for women’s rights? That would be like putting Iran on that commission except they’ve already done that.

Maybe there is a method to the madness. Perhaps putting these horrible regimes on a commission with nations that do not require women to conceal their faces can be an influence. Perhaps they’ll see how the modern world treats people and just how ass backwards they are.

Did German Chancellor Angela Merkel apply the same method in inviting Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, to a women’s empowerment panel in Berlin? The other women on the panel were International Monetary Fund director Christine Lagarde, and Canadian Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland. Merkel, Lagarde, and Freeland were on the panel because of their accomplishments and the fact that they’re world leaders. None of the three achieved their accomplishments through nepotism. Those leaders have earned their place. Ivanka was born into hers.

The moderator asked Ivanka who she was representing, President Trump, the American people, or her own business interests. What she should have been asked was: What qualifies you for a job in the White House? What is it that you actually do in dad’s administration? What the Hell are you doing on this panel?

Ivanka dismisses the media’s coverage of her father’s bigotry and callousness toward women. She blames the media. She doesn’t blame the man who bragged on a bus about grabbing vaginas and moving on a woman “like a bitch.” She doesn’t blame the man who told a contestant on his reality show that it would be a pretty sight to see her on her knees. She doesn’t blame the man who has called Rosie O’Donnell a pig and said that Megyn Kelly had “blood in her eyes” and “blood coming out of her wherever.” She doesn’t blame the guy who looked at a child and said “I’ll be dating her in ten years.” She doesn’t blame the guy who once said that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her.

Instead she talks about how daddy is great toward women because he promoted her in his business. If only every woman in America was Donald Trump’s daughter. The only bad part of that would be that he’d want to date them and he’d go on a talk show while they’re infants and speculate on how large their breasts will become.

Ivanka says her dad is in favor of a paid-family-leave plan. So when’s he going to push that through Congress? Where was her influence when he was trying to cut funding to Planned Parenthood?

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump hosted the House Freedom Caucus to discuss healthcare, including those that affect women’s health benefits, and there were no women present? Sure, Ivanka shows up if she can sit next to Merkel or Justin Trudeau.

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump chose his nearly-all-male and white cabinet? Was it the dressing in drag skit that kept Giuliani out of the administration?

Perhaps Ivanka was too focused on her brand, where the bulk of it is made in Africa and Asia, mostly by women who are paid chump change. According to The Washington Postworkers in a factory in China, which holds an exclusive license to produce Ivanka Trump crap, works their workers 60 hours a week for a salary of $62.

So no. Ivanka does not belong on a panel discussing empowering women anymore than Saudi Arabia belongs on a commission for women’s rights. She’s empowered herself. She’s a billion-dollar princess who, like her brothers, got where she is through birth. Now they’re bringing their nepotism and conflicts of interest to our government as if we are a monarchy.

Saudi Arabia on a women’s right’s panel, and Ivanka in a women empowerment discussion with women who are actually accomplished is confusing. It’s as confusing as the fact that more women voted for Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton.

C’mon, ladies. Help yourselves out here.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

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Confederate Monuments


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New Orleans, Louisiana (my home state) is removing monuments to the Confederacy from within the city. The type of people who continue to fly Confederate flags and scream “heritage, not hate” are upset.

The outrage is so intense that the monuments are being removed late at night under police protection. The company hired to remove the statues are even putting tape over their logos on their vehicles out of safety and concern over loss of business.

The first of four monuments, the Battle of Liberty Place, was removed early Monday morning. The battle being memorialized by that particular monument isn’t even from the Confederacy. It was an insurrection by the Crescent City White League against the Reconstruction state government in 1874, nearly ten years after the Civil War ended. The monument was erected in 1891 in praise of the racist insurrection as the city and state at that time was in the process of disenfranchising blacks. Nice memorial you’re fighting for there, Whities.

The other three monuments, Confederate President Jefferson Davis, Generals Robert E. Lee, and P.G.T. Beauregard will be removed in the near future on unspecified dates. You know the current White League will be conducting surveillance on each of those so they’ll know when they’re coming down.

Speaking of old monuments named “Beauregard,” one old codgy monument that needs to be removed but is firmly in place is our current Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. You would think a Southerner from with a name like “Jefferson Beauregard” would be a little more cautious on matters with race. Not our Jefferson Beauregard.

Sessions has called the ACLU and NAACP “un-American” and that they were teaching “un-American” values. He has stated that the NAACP was “forcing Civil Rights down the throats of people.” He also said “You know the NAACP hates white people; they are out to get them. That is why they bring these lawsuits, and they are a commie group and a pinko organization as well.” Regarding the Ku Klux Klan, Sessions stated “I thought those guys were OK until I learned they smoked pot.” He’s also been accused of saying to a black colleaugue “You ought to be careful as to what you say to white folks.” The list goes on and on.

When Sessions was nominated for a federal judgeship in 1986, Coretta Scott King wrote a letter to Congress asking them to block his nomination. She wrote that allowing him to join the bench would “irreparably damage the work of my husband.” That is some serious stuff there.

And just last week Sessions, who loves the ideas of a border wall and kicking out brown people was upset that a judge in Hawaii (another state I lived and worked in) knocked down Trump’s travel ban on Muslims. Sessions “amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.” Sessions ate a lot of crap for that and tried to defend his comments afterward. I don’t understand why a judge in Hawaii isn’t as legitimate as a judge in any other state, unless he’s upset that that “island in the Pacific” isn’t majority white.

These old Confederate dudes have a hard time letting go. Those people in New Orleans are upset over a statue coming down of Robert E. Lee and they cite history….yet disregard the fact that Lee never set foot in New Orleans.

They can’t let go of the Civil War which means that in two hundred years they’ll still be calling former South Carolina governor, and current ambassador to the U.N., Nikki Haley a traitor for removing the Confederate Battle Flag from her state’s Capitol grounds.

Here in Virginia a Republican running for governor had comments on the removal of the monuments in New Orleans. Corey Stewart, who’s actually from Minnesota, tweeted “It appears ISIS has won. They are tearing down historical monuments in New Orleans now too. It must end. Despicable!” If Mr. Stewart, and other Rebel flag waving freaks, lived in Germany, would they insist on monuments to Nazis and Hitler?

The Civil War is a complicated issue. Those who defend the flag and monuments argue that the war wasn’t fought over slavery. They’re half right. The North did not fight to end slavery. The South’s only reason was to fight for slavery. It was explicitly stated in many of the states’ Declarations of Secession.

If you want to continue to be an advocate for racism, that’s fine by me. Just don’t glorify it on government or public land. Put that sticker on your bumper. There is a place for Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, Stonewall Jackson, and P.G.T. Beauregard. That place is a museum.

A museum is where we should also put Jefferson Beauregard Sessions.

Creative note: I’ve been itching to draw elfish Jeff Sessions sitting on a stack of books. After my last cartoon of him, where I placed him in a high chair, I’ve been afraid someone would steal it from me and use the stack-of-books idea before I could. I was the first cartoonist in the nation to give Trump an extra long tie and I was the first to put scotch tape on it. Yes, I’m standing by those two claims. So just remember I’m the first to have Sessions sitting on stuff. Next, he’ll be sitting on Trump’s lap….or Putin’s.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

The Jerk


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During the presidential campaign Donald Trump promised his supporters repeatedly that he will build a wall along the Mexican border, because he’s good at building things, and that Mexico will pay for it. He based his entire campaign around the dumb wall idea. In fact, he first proposed the wall during his announcement for the presidency.

Now he’s pushing Congress to start the initial funding for the wall promising that Mexico will eventually pay for it one way or another. During the campaign he’d say “we’re gonna build a wall, and who’s gonna pay for it?” His racist supporters would gleefully shout in between chants of “lock her up” and beating up black protesters “Mexico!” At no point during that campaign did he ever say “we’re gonna build a wall, and who’s gonna pay for it?” with his supporters responding “Mexico…eventually one way or another after we pay for it initially.” Do you recall that? No you do not because it never happened.

From the very first day of the campaign when he first proposed the stupid wall everyone who possesses just the tiniest bit of sense knew it was total BS. Not only will Mexico not pay for that wall, but we’ll never build it. His supporters, however, believed it. Many Republicans in Congress still believe. Many just give it lip service knowing full well it’ll never happen. His supporters, who are still happy they voted for him, still believe in the wall fantasy.

Why won’t we build it? We shouldn’t build it because it’s a stupid-ass idea that’s racist and hateful to its core. Quite frankly, I don’t want to pay for stupid-ass racist ideas. Hell, they’re tearing them down in New Orleans (in the dead of night while wearing bulletproof vests so Nazis don’t shoot them). The real reason we won’t build it is because it will cost too much and it’s not even feasible. The government doesn’t even own all the land along our border with Mexico, and a lot of it runs along rivers and mountains. As for the cost, no one really knows. Do you know what’s a better idea? Taco trucks on every corner.

Trump first stated that it would cost $10 billion. Now they’re saying around $21 billion. Others are stating it’ll cost up to $70 billion and $150 million a year to maintain. That wall is not a toll booth that will pay for itself. Plus, after you build a 20-foot wall Mexicans will come up with 21-foot ladders. Besides, most people who are in this nation illegally didn’t enter over our border with Mexico. Building the wall is a statement that the only illegal immigrants we have an issue with are the brown ones.

I’m gonna go out on short limb here and say that illegal immigration is not the gravest threat to our nation. President Obama deported more people here without documentation than George W. Illegal immigration is down. It went down further over the winter, which it does every winter, and of course Trump took credit for that. He doesn’t believe man-made Climate Change can affect the weather, but he can. God just parts the clouds and ends the rain during his inauguration.

Trump wanted the wall so badly, and funding passed and signed before this weekend so he can have a legislative achievement before the 100-day marker, that he was willing to shut down the government. Attorney General Jeff Sessions complained that if the Democrats blocked it then it was their fault for shutting down the government.

How does it work that you can blame the Democrats when Republicans control the White House, Senate, and House? Oops, I forgot. By lying. By the way, Mr. Attorney General, you’re not in the Senate anymore. It’s time to remove yourself from partisan politics and to remove your lips which are firmly stuck to Trump’s pasty orange ass.

Trump is starting to realize that Congress isn’t going to fund the wall and he’s backing off. He still hasn’t embraced the reality that if Congress, which loves to throw money at bad ideas, won’t fund the wall then how in the world is he going to make the Mexican government pay for it?

Trump has already lied and broken several campaign promises. He’s broken the promise of Mexico paying for the wall so why not just let the lie happen in that the wall is never going to happen.

I do have a prediction for you: If they do start building the wall, it will never be finished. It will be a fitting monument to our stupidity, xenophobia, and racism.

Creative notes: I was having a cartoon discussion with one of my colleagues a couple weeks ago and we talked about using movies in our work. We were mocking this one guy who loves to use outdated movies, and the posters for those movies, for his cartoons (because he’s out of ideas). Do you know why Republican political cartoonists ran out of ideas? Because Jeff MacNelly died. I digress. This one cartoonist uses the Jim Carrey movie “Liar Liar” at least twice a year. It’s stupid. He also uses “Dumb And Dumber.” 

My buddy and I created a rule for our use. That rule is, don’t use a movie for a political cartoon unless it’s recent or a classic. Some classics, for example, are “Gone With The Wind,” “The Wizard Of Oz,” “Casablanca,” and “Jaws.” Some more fairly recent classics, which you know I’ve used, are “Airplane,” “Blazing Saddles,” and “The Jerk.” I think my pal disagreed on using “The Jerk.” I don’t and I just created a new rule. That rule is: If the average red-blooded American can name one quote from the movie, then you can use it in a cartoon.

I’m sure everyone in the world knows “there’s no place like home,” “this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” “We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” “yes I am serious and don’t call me “Shirley,'” “where all the white women at?”, and “he hates these cans.” 

I didn’t have to Google any of those quotes. Of course, I am a geek and a trove of useless information, but I’m sure you recognize every single quote and the film they came from. If you didn’t, stop reading my blog. I disown you.

I’ve also learned that when you use quotes, especially from the comedies, people love it almost as much as they love seeing a Beagle in the cartoon.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Letter From An Editor, And My Reply


So I got this in the mail today:
 
Hi Clay,
My general manager does not want to run any political cartoons that criticize President Trump, since we have so many readers who voted for him and support him.
Can you please send us middle-of-the-road cartoons that we could use?
If you have any on hand, we could use one today.
 
I replied with this:
 
I sent a cartoon yesterday on Le Pen’s victory in France. I suppose you guys can’t use that one. I also sent one a couple days ago on Bill O’Reilly. I guess you can’t use that one either.
 
The thing is, sir, I’m a political cartoonist. I’m pretty good too. What you’re looking for is a cartoonist who truly sucks at his job just about as much as your general manager does.
I hate to lose clients but I don’t work like this so my recommendation is, since you probably can’t get rid of your general manager, is to find another cartoon service.
 
Donald Trump is president of the United States. That’s political. I’m a political cartoonist. I don’t avoid subjects. Anyone who believes you shouldn’t publish what your readers don’t want to hear should not be in the news business. Tell your general manager he’s a jackass and a disgrace to our profession. It’s not from the lack of my cartoons, but because of him, that your readers and community have lost a good newspaper. Hopefully in the future The (redacting the name) will have a general manager who won’t run editors out of the building, like he did with Mr. Stevens, who signed up to use my cartoons.
 
Thank you. I hope you have a great day and best wishes for your future.
 
Clay Jones
Political cartoonist
I’m a political cartoonist. I often hear from editors who receive my pitches who state my cartoons are too controversial, or too left-wing, or they can’t do anything on Donald Trump. Often times I lose a client because of what I choose to draw cartoons about. I’ve been in this business for over 25 years so I’m not naive and I know every news outlets’ first order of business is to make money. I usually respond with “I understand” and a thank you. I’m in a business too so I’m not out to argue and debate with editors or to burn bridges.
But sometimes you gotta burn one down.
I picked up this client about a month ago. They used several of my cartoons and the editor loved them. Then I received an email from the editor that he was resigning effective immediately and that he couldn’t suffer under the leadership of their general manager anymore, or watch what he was doing to the newspaper he loved. Now I see why.
As I said, I’m diplomatic the majority of the time. When a client tells me I’m covering Donald Trump too much, I listen to them. They could be correct. I should cover topics in addition to the president. But I’m not going to ignore him.
So usually it’s thank you and you’re welcome. I appreciate the opportunity and sometimes I don’t respond at all, depending on the level of crazy. I am good with that when I get the unusual. What I’m not good with is when the unusual becomes the usual.
It has become the usual to hear from editors afraid to cover Donald Trump and those who buy his fertilizer hook, line, and sinker, and swear the guy is the new messiah. I’m not talking about editors who agree on his tax policies. I’m talking about the “lock her up” editors. All that Russian stuff is fake news, don’t you know? There are editors out there like that. I know this. I hear from them.
Sure, newspapers need to make money. But they’re still newspapers. It’s a business of honesty and delivering facts. Yeah, they’ll run an ad selling you a crappy mattress but the one thing journalists do not do is remain silent. I will not be silenced.
I am not an activist and I will not take to the streets wearing a pussy hat even if I’m drawing cartoons supporting them. But sometimes the resistance extends to those who cover the news. I will resist those who tell me I can’t and I shouldn’t. Newspapers aren’t to refrain from publishing information their readers don’t want to hear. We’re not to be afraid of our readers, no matter how much some of them want us to be.
Newspapers, either in a major city or a small town, are not in the business of appeasing a cult of personality, whether through action or inaction. Right now, this is becoming the state of the industry more and more. For then, it’s “if you don’t agree with the administration then at least shut up.” I don’t do shutting up. I don’t shut up well.
I did hear back from the editor to my admittedly unprofessional letter. He was very nice and understood. He understands. I referred him to a colleague. While I need to find a new client, and many more after that, I’m not going to do it by drawing safe cartoons, which would be a much smarter business model. But cartoonists don’t always make the best people.
I’m a political cartoonist and no matter how difficult these people try to make it for me to do what I do, I’m going to keep doing it.
I’m Clay Jones. I draw political cartoons. You’ll be hearing from me. A lot.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Blinding Him With Science


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Republicans don’t really do science. Most of them don’t believe in Climate Change. The frighteningly religious ones believe the planet is only 6,000 years old, give or take a few years. One Republican congressman (Todd Akin) believes a woman’s body will secrete magical juices to prevent it from becoming pregnant if she’s raped. Some, like former U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann, believe vaccines are responsible for mental retardation and others blame it for autism. She also believes in gay-conversion therapy. Some school districts in red states teach creativity over evolution. Chris Christie quarantined a nurse in a plastic tent for three days because she returned from West Africa where she was treating Ebola patients.

One of my favorite moments of a ridiculous Republican denying science was when Senator Jim Inhofe threw a snowball on the floor of the senate. Inhofe was the chair of the Senate Environment Committee.

I believe every Republican who denies science should drink a nice tall glass of Flint tap water.

On Saturday thousands of scientists participated in the March for Science to protest the Trump administration’s policies regarding their field. Trump has a problem with facts in general, but like most Republicans he can’t comprehend science.

Trump thinks Climate Change is a hoax which he blamed on China. He’s questioned the safety of vaccines. He’s put Rick Oops Perry in charge of our nuclear stockpile. He’s proposed an 18% cut for the National Institute of Health, and a 31% cut for the Environmental Protection Agency which is also facing losing a quarter of their 15,000 employees.

Speaking of the EPA, the goober he’s put in charge of that department, Scott Pruitt from Oklahoma (go figure), has sued it in the past over a dozen times, and doesn’t even believe in the environment. He recently stated that carbon emissions caused by human activity don’t have any effect upon the planet.

We can always have hope for our future but the Department of Education is led by Betsy Devos, who is an advocate for charter schools and has no experience with public education and got the job because she’s a major Republican campaign contributor.

Trump should be appreciative of science. There’s no telling how many animals had to suffer to test the products and techniques that enables his hair to still exist and defy gravity.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Le Pew


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The smell that emitted out of France on Sunday is the same stench coming from the United Kingdom and the United States.

The anti-immigrant movement is pure populist hatred. Let’s throw out people who don’t look like us. We need to live in fear. Vote for me and I’ll hate it hard. Yay hatred!

The Brexit movement rode fear, hatred, and nationalism to success in the UK. Donald Trump used it and proved that there’s enough racism in America to give him an electoral victory. Now it’s being implemented in France, where they’ve had several terrorist attacks recently, including one last week.

Marine Le Pen is a far-right candidate of the National Front party. She’s not just a fan of preventing Muslims from entering her nation, but she wants to kick them out. She told her cheering supporters that the biggest issue of this election was “untamed globalization” that is threatening France and its culture. Le Pen wants France to follow the UK’s lead and exit the European Union. That would be a “Frexit” She’s also cuddly with Russian president Vladimir Putin, who’s sticking his fingers into the French election much like he did with the U.S. Guess which French candidate he prefers? The same one Donald Trump is rooting for.

Marine Le Pen came in second to Emmanuel Macron, who is a centrist. The vote locked out the two major parties and for the first time in nearly 60 years the French presidency is between two outsider candidates. Imagine if our choices were between Jill Stein and Gary Johnson.

The Guardian writes “The contest on 7 May is a contest between openness and bigotry, internationalism and nationalism, optimism and hatred, reaction and reform, hope and fear.” The election we had last November were between the same choices. Unfortunately we chose bigotry, nationalism, hatred, and fear.

Let’s see in two weeks if France can be better than we are and not vote for the Russian stooge.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Discovering Water In Costa Rica


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Here’s this week’s cartoon for The Costa Rica Star.

The Discovery channel is bringing a huge theme park to Costa Rica. It’s going to land in the city of Liberia in the Guanacaste province.

One big issue is water. There is a water shortage in Guanacaste. The theme park is going to use a LOT of water. It’s a 2000 acre water park full of hotels and restaurants. The business and government says not to worry as the park will be self-sustainable and they have their own wells. So, if all this water is available for a theme park then why hasn’t it been available for the public? Also, what happens when the wells run dry? Will they then ask to borrow from their neighbors?

Other than that, theme parks just piss me off. Sure they’re tourist traps and they’ll bring in a lot of money for the community. The park promises to employ close to 2000 jobs during the construction and hopefully those jobs will go to locals. All of the investors are foreigners. Discovery isn’t actually building the park. They’re leasing their name.

But why go to Costa Rica and visit a theme park? If you go to Costa Rica, then see Costa Rica. Not a water park. Go to the ocean and jump in the water. Take a tour through the jungle and see crocodiles, monkeys, sloths. Not a fat American in a Speedo. You don’t have to leave the United States to see that.

The people who will visit a water park in Costa Rica are the same uncultured nitwits who’ll go to Tijuana and eat at Taco Bell. When you visit Beijing, don’t go to Panda Express. When you’re in New York City you’re not going to eat at Sbarro, are you? My mother would have and then she would hit the Walmart.

When I lived in Hawaii I was constantly trying to get my mom to visit. My mom loved to travel and see new places but she was intimidated about going to Hawaii. I think it was the idea of flying over an ocean. But one thing she asked every time we talked on the phone was “have you found the Walmart yet?” Mom had to go to Walmart no matter where she was. Even if she didn’t need anything she had to go to Walmart. She was a Walmart junkie.

She visited me in Virginia. During her visit she saw an ad for an outside garbage can at Walmart. She told me and my wife (I was married at the time) about the sale. I said “but we have a garbage can. It’s new.” She was adamant. “But this one’s on sale.” I told her again “we already have a garbage can. Buying another one is just a waste of money.” She continued “but this one’s on sale.” We went back and forth and I put my foot down and laid down the law. “I don’t need a new garbage can, Mom!!!! Don’t waste money and buy that garbage can today. When I got home that night, there was the same garbage can from the ad sitting outside, right next to the old garbage can. The new one wasn’t even an improvement. It was just a big freaking rubber can.

Anyway, my mom would totally go to the theme park in Costa Rica and never see a sloth and she’d drive me nuts while doing it. I told her there was one Walmart in Honolulu and she really wanted me to find it, even though she wasn’t going to visit. I never did find that Walmart because I never looked for it. You can go a year without visiting Walmart.

It seems everyone I know is going to Costa Rica. When you go, don’t go to the theme park. When you’re a tourist, try not to be so much of a tourist.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.