Editorial cartoons

Georgia Abortion Boom Boom


cjones05162019

Georgia Republicans are patting themselves on the back, and others nationwide are celebrating their passage of the nation’s most restrictive abortion bill last week.

The new law not only outlaws abortion after six weeks and granting full legal personhood to fetuses, but would allow prosecutors to file criminal charges against women who get abortions and even target women who miscarry. Senator and presidential candidate Kamala Harris described it as, “A blatant attempt to criminalize a woman’s constitutionally protected right to make her own health care decision” that would “threaten women with years of jail time.”

If these were rational times, we could all relax under the assumption that these restrictive and unconstitutional laws have less of a chance passing through the Supreme Court than Donald Trump has of passing a KFC without stopping. But, as was evidenced yesterday, the Supreme Court, now fucknuttier, overturned the Supreme Court.

Monday, the highest court in the land overturned a 40-year-old precedent that states don’t have sovereign immunity from private lawsuits in the courts of other states. The court has now decided with the dissenting opinion from 1979 and ruled that they do have sovereign immunity.

Justice Stephen G. Breyer wrote for the dissenting opinion, It is “dangerous to overrule a decision only because five Members of a later Court come to agree with earlier dissenters on a difficult legal question. Today’s decision can only cause one to wonder which cases the Court will overrule next.” Yes, indeed. What will the conservative majority, with two new members placed upon it by any means necessary, overturn next?

The thing is, this isn’t about the sanctity of life. This is about control. Actress Alyssa Milano has proposed a “sex strike,” where women don’t have sex until “women have legal control over our own bodies.” I’m not sure that will work because who wants to sleep with a Republican anyway? But some of the reactions prove the entire “pro-life” argument is bullshit.

I saw a conservative whackanoodle post on social media that Alyssa Milano “can’t control his wife’s body.” The guy was too stupid to notice that he was proclaiming HE had control over his wife’s body and that he was presenting himself as a potential rapist, or maybe he did know what he was doing. But, thank you, Mr. Conservative Goobermeister for so eloquently stating what the debate is about. It’s not about women or babies. It’s about you, the man.

I read of another proposal I think I may be able to get behind. The idea is all young boys are to have vasectomies which can be reversed later after they’re married. Sounds ridiculous, right? I mean, why should the government start controlling a young man’s body? Shouldn’t boys have a say in what happens around their private parts? Should we force minors to go through procedures that are not their choice? No, we shouldn’t. That goes for girls too.

At a town hall during the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump said women should be punished for having abortions, and also the doctors who perform them. In Georgia, that has now become much more likely to happen.

Extremists used to bomb abortion clinics. It was as recently as 2015 that a “pro-life” extremist, juiced on lies pushed in propaganda videos by anti-choice radicals, shot up a Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs, killing three people and injuring nine. Now, those extremists are in state legislatures, governorships, court benches, and in the White House.

Republicans want a fetus to have human rights, while certain humans who are grown and walking around should have less. As Justice Breyer asked, “what will they come for next?” They’re coming for you.

You are next.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Farmer Bang Bang


cjones05152019

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump said he could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and he wouldn’t lose any voters. He was right, but at that time, he would have lost support from his party. Today, he could shoot farmer after farmer and the GOP would only yawn (unless it was a black guy and then they’d get excited).

Trump’s not going to shoot anyone on Fifth Avenue. If he shoots anyone, it’ll be in a soybean field in Iowa, and then maybe a stockbroker on Wall Street.

Republicans used to be all about free trade and anti tariffs. They’ve always argued that tariffs are taxes on American consumers and nobody wins a trade war. They were right. Today, they’ve sacrificed their previous position, just as they’ve expunged their positions on law and order, patriotism, defense, morals, etc. as if they underwent a political colonic.

Today, after China retaliated by raising $60 billion in tariffs on American goods, Trump said he “likes the position we’re in.” You have to remember, this is a guy who “liked the position he was in” when he shut down the government for 30 days before losing a negotiation with Democrats. We are putting our stock, our businesses, our economy, our farms, and our people in a guy who won’t accept that Americans pay for tariffs.

A trade war will hurt both countries, but it will be felt more by American consumers and the politicians they vote for. In case you’re a Republican, nobody votes in China and there’s not a free press that can criticize President Xi Jinping or even report facts that are critical of his positions. The only pressure President Xi is under is, don’t lose a trade war with an orange shitgibbon. Xi is basically president for life, but losing a negotiation to an idiot like Donald Trump could very well shorten that life.

Farmers who voted for Trump are typical Trump cultists. They’ll continue to believe in Trump, even as soybeans from last year are rotting in storage because there’s no longer a market for them. But maybe around the point that they’re literally losing the farm, they might realize this entire Trump experiment isn’t working out. They may actually realize that Donald Trump is a malignant narcissist who only cares about the malignant narcissist. His current welfare plan for farmers is only designed to uphold their support of him, but that won’t last. How long can you borrow money from China to help farmers not sell their crops to China?

Unfortunately for me and you, nearly everything we own is made in China. If we could buy crap made cheaper in Vietnam, Thailand, and Indonesia, we would. We are cheap consumers. We haven’t been holding off from buying products made in thirder-world nations than China because of loyalty or ethics. We’re cheap. We would have already been doing it.

Trump may not feel any pressure from other consumers because fortunately for him, his supporters aren’t known for shopping at Wal-Mart (insert eye roll here).

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Vaxxin’ Action


cjones05142019

I think putting guns in the hands of children will be as effective against school shootings as they would be against measles.

Stupid people and their dogma are killing children in this nation. Gun nuts and anti-vaxxers.

Refusing to vaccinate your child is bad enough for your child, but you’re spreading diseases to the rest of society. Riding on hoaxes, anti-vaxxers have created a public health crisis that’s led to over 700 reported cases of measles in 22 states. One person who has contributed to spreading the hoax that vaccinations are more harmful to children than the diseases is Donald Trump.

Trump, who is now saying that parents “have to get the shots,” previously helped spread the anti-vaxxers’ fears through Twitter. In 2012, the future president of the United States tweeted, “Massive combined inoculations to small children is the cause for big increase in autism.” As we know now, he wasn’t done being an idiot and making the world more dangerous. In 2014, he tweeted, “Healthy young child goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shot of many vaccines, doesn’t feel good and changes – AUTISM. Many such cases!”

During a Republican debate in 2015, he said, “You take this little beautiful baby, and you pump — I mean, it looks just like it’s meant for a horse, not for a child.” Next thing you know, fucknuts have brought back raging cases of measles on an international scale.

These people are just the same over their gun obsession. People who scream, “Save the babies” over abortion will choose overcompensating for their small penis over the life of a child.

Every school shooting exposes that the pro-life crowd is less about life and more about control. It’s never been about the children, just like they’ve never been about patriotism, family values, responsible spending, or draining the swamp. Conservatives have spent the past several decades building a platform of lies. Thanks to Donald Trump, it’s painfully obvious.

Republicans express more concern for their guns than they do for children each time there’s a school shooting. Their answer to the problem is, more guns. While they argue that a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun, most examples show that doesn’t deter the bad guy and usually by the time the good guy can respond, the bad guy has created a death toll.

Republicans praised the good guy with a gun who shot at, and missed, the shooter in Sutherland Springs, Texas in 2017. They leave out the fact that the good guy didn’t start shooting until after 26 people were killed and the bad guy has depleted his ammunition supply. They also leave out that the good guy didn’t try to save one life from those who were shot, instead, chasing after the bad guy. Maybe in addition to fewer guns, we should have fewer Rambo movies.

Guns in the hands of children aren’t going to stop school shooters any better than they can take down a virus. We need vaccinations of every child in this nation…and fewer guns.

We need protection from viruses, guns, and conservative dogma because they all kill.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Roll Out The Barrel


CNN05122019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I felt a little bit chunky on Friday. It was one of those spoke-too-soon things.

Thursday, I sent CNN eight ideas. The editor replied asking if he could make the decision Friday morning because all the cartoons were too good and I was “on fire.” I had promised Amanda I was going to her house on Friday but figured I’d have everything done early in the day. So, no problem with selecting the cartoon on Friday morning. Where I spoke too soon was in promoting the upcoming cartoon and newsletter on Twitter and Facebook, as I tweeted out his “on fire” comment.

Friday morning came and my editor threw out a couple more subjects which meant the hard part wasn’t over yet. I had to keep thinking of ideas. The hard part is always over when all that’s left to do is to draw the cartoon. Thinking is hard.

The editor threw out a couple subjects at me that I wasn’t excited about. I still worked on them and I even took the project with me to Amanda’s, which was in Woodbridge (about 30 miles north of my home). Finally, the last idea I sent seemed to click. Amanda said it was her favorite of all the cartoons. In fact, it was a comment she made that made it click in my head. And then…the editor wanted to go back to one of the ideas I had sent the day before. In fact, after selecting one, we changed our minds again and selected another, which is the one you see here.

I sent about fifteen rough sketches by the time I was through. I’ve drawn three of those and I’m probably going to do one more tonight (and maybe another next week). I liked several of the ideas, and they were on different subjects.

My favorite cartoon from the batch was the monopoly/shoe cartoon (and yeah, it’s weird). The Trump Jr cartoon I drew on Saturday was the favorite for a couple other people who had seen each rough, though I wasn’t too sure about it. My second favorite, and the one I thought CNN would want was on Trump Jr AND the royal baby. But, I had already done something on the royal baby for my syndication so I felt doing that cartoon for them would have been a little repetitive, but it would have worked for CNN.

Friday was a hard day but sometimes you have to work hard, even with a cushy job like drawing cartoons. Sometimes, the one making it harder for you is yourself. I honestly believe this thing I’m doing with CNN is one of the best freelance gigs going for cartoonists today. The people I’m working with have been great and I’m not just writing that because they might read this. They really have been wonderful, professional, and easy to work with. I should also make that clear since I have to ask them to accommodate my hours again two weeks from now because I have another trip out of town.

And, sorry. I didn’t feel like writing about Trump’s fraud, taxes, lies, or corruption again. I’ve already done that more than once the previous week. You can go back and read them if that’s what you’re hungry for today.

Creative Note Thingy: I’m thinking about posting all the roughs on my Instagram page so people will have an incentive to visit and follow me there. Hint, hint.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Jr


cjones05132019

I can’t imagine Donald Trump being a hands-on father. I’m fairly confident the guy never did a 2:00 am feeding or changed a diaper in his life. He probably didn’t even know where the diapers were kept in his penthouse, other than the ones he has to wear himself. I definitely can’t see him playing catch with any of his kids. But maybe, if he and Jr go to prison together, they can form a little bonding time in the year.

Sometimes I wonder how Trump’s staff can’t prevent him from embarrassing himself, like when he publicly displays his lack of comprehension. Whoever read the Mueller Report to him didn’t do a good job of making him understand it.

After Donald Trump Jr was subpoenaed last week by the Senate Intelligence Committee, Trump griped to the media the unfairness of it all. He said the Mueller Report exonerated Trump Jr. It did not. In case you’re keeping score at home, Jr refused to give an interview to Mueller’s team. For some reason, they didn’t subpoena him.

While arguing the “exoneration” of Trump Jr, Daddy Trump referred to the report as “the Bible.” Again, he didn’t read the report as it contradicts not just Jr’s public statements about the Trump Tower meeting and having business interests in Russia, it contradicts his previous Senate testimony. In case you’re a Republican, that’s perjury. That can land Jr in prison. If the Mueller Report is “the Bible,” then Trumpy Jr should be going to prison.

Trump also argued that Jr shouldn’t testify again because he had already done so before the committee in private. That’s why he needs to testify again, because that first testimony was contradicted by the Mueller Report, you know, “the Bible.”

Donald Trump is an idiot and he passed it on to his idiot son.

Creative note: This cartoon may be too subtle. But, two out of the three people who saw it in its rough form really liked it, so I went with it. Sorry for the late Saturday cartoon, but I was doing stuff this morning, like sleeping.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

The Biggest Shoeser


cjones05122019

Negotiating with China for a better trade agreement is a good thing. In fact, Democrats may be more supportive of the trade war than free-market Republicans. What’s not good is engaging in a trade war as there’s rarely a winner. What’s even worse is that these negotiations are being led by Donald Trump.

While Donald Trump promotes himself as a great negotiator, those of us who are not cultist sycophants know he’s not. China also knows he’s not a great negotiator. China knows that Donald Trump doesn’t know that American consumers pay for the tariffs he’s increased. China knows that 90% of the stuff you own was made in China. Despite those MAGA hats being made in China…and everything else with Trump’s name on it, Donald Trump doesn’t seem to know this. If you shop at Wal-Mart, you’re paying these tariffs, even if you voted for Donald Trump. The price for your “Juicy” sweatpants just got a lot juicier.

Before the government shutdown, Democrats put an offer on the table for Trump’s border wall. He wanted more so he shut the government down. It was his way of negotiating. When the pressure got too much for him, he caved and walked away with…wait for it…nothing. A great negotiator or even a mediocre hobbyist negotiator never walks away with less than he was originally offered, less enough, NOTHING.

When you play poker, you bluff. A bluff is a lie. Poker is a game where lying is allowed. Now, if you bluff on every hand, people stop believing you and you start losing. It may not work that way with a cult, but it works that way in business. Trump used to purchase stocks of a company, make a lot of noise about purchasing more and taking over the company, then after the stock would increase because of his noise, he’d quietly sell. He was lying. Just like in poker, people stopped believing him and the strategy stopped working. That was Donald Trump being a “great businessman.”

Donald Trump lost a billion dollars over a decade. He was continuously bailed out by his daddy. For eight of those ten years, he didn’t pay taxes. The guy lost a billion dollars, took money from his dad, bankrupted casinos, but since he didn’t pay taxes for most of those years, that was him being a “great businessman.”

While losing a billion dollars, Trump published a ghost-written book he’s probably never read called “The Art of the Deal.” Many years later, he hosted The Apprentice, a reality TV show. The man has spent decades cultivating an image of a billionaire genius. He even created a fake university to teach people to be billionaire geniuses just like him, which of course was a scam.

Despite playing Hawkeye on M.A.S.H., Alan Alda is not a great surgeon or a surgeon period. You do not want Alan Alda cutting you open. You don’t want Donald Trump cutting you open either, but sycophants gave him the knife. He played a great businessman on TV, but just like Alan Alda isn’t a surgeon, Trump is not a great businessman.

You can’t believe everything you see on TV. But, you see Trump playing a dumbass, racist, sexist, bully, and narcissist on TV on a daily basis. That, you can believe.

In Monopoly of life, Donald Trump is the shoe, but his sycophants think he’s the race car. They’re just ignoring the smell.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Trumpy Tax Tragedy


cjones05112019

If you still believe Donald Trump is a genius, great businessman, great negotiator, and built a great company, you’re in a cult. ‬

The New York Times published a story this week in great detail about how Trump spent the 1980s losing over a billion dollars. According to the IRS, Donald Trump lost more money during this time than any other American. In fact, his losses accounted for one percent of all loses declared by American tax filers. Donald Trump shouldn’t have hosted The Apprentice and instead should have starred in the Biggest Loser.

Trump is a loser. The one positive a loser like Trump can take from losing a billion dollars is that he didn’t pay taxes for eight of those ten years.

If you’re a Trump sycophant, don’t worry. Trump had an explanation. He meant to do that. He explained in a Tweet that it was for “tax purposes” and was a “sport” among real estate developers. He then called the story “fake news.” So, did he lose all that money for tax purposes like he claimed or was the Times lying? It’s hard to keep his defenses straight. Also, if he’s only “showing” losses, does that mean he committed tax fraud?

There are two other interesting points in this story. All this billion dollar losing occurred while he was promoting himself as a huge success story, master of the universe, and educator on being a miser by publishing his book “Art of the Deal.” The real art of the deal was borrowing money from daddy while you’re bankrupting casinos.

The other highlight that piqued interests is that in 1989, he reported $52.9 million in interest income. Here’s why that’s interesting: The three years before this, he reported $460,566, then $5.5 million, then $11.8 million in interest. So, 52 after 11 is a huge jump in interest income (if you’re a Republican, that’s a difference of 41). So, where’d that interest come from? Public findings from New Jersey casino regulators show no evidence that he owned anything capable of generating that much interest. Nor is there any such evidence in a 1990 report, which was prepared by accountants he hired at his bankers’ request. So, where did that $52.9 million come from? Daddy? Russians? People paying him not to tell anyone they had sex?

Of course, if Trump really wants to prove this is all “fake news” and he doesn’t have anything to hide, he would release his taxes. But, he won’t do that because it’s not “fake news” and he has a LOT Of skeevy shady shit to hide.

Of course, Trump wants to change the laws that allow a free press to publish stories such as these. What he doesn’t want to change are the laws that enable people to shoot up schools.

There was another school shooting this week, this time at STEM School Highlands Ranch in Colorado. Eight students were injured with Kendrick Castillo dying after lunging at one of the two shooters. Kendrick Castillo died saving lives three days before the end of the school year.

Donald Trump tweeted out condolences. Then, he went to one of his hate rallies in Panama City, Florida and laughed at a supporter’s suggestion that we start shooting immigrants at the border. Trump said, “Only in the Panhandle could you get away with saying something like that.” You can also get away with saying something like that at a Donald Trump rally. Other fun things you can get away with at a Trump rally are, heiling, goose-stepping, wearing a white sheet, waving a Swastika, punching black people, and shouting obscenities at Jim Acosta.

Donald Trump is not a genius, or a great businessman, or a great negotiator, and as evidenced from his most recent hate rally, he’s not even a decent human being. And, if you’re still a Trump supporter, neither are you.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.