Editorial cartoons

Get Behind Me, Satan


cjones01122019

The Devil is a Dick

Republicans haven’t even had the chance to get over their faux outrage over a congresswoman saying “MF’er” or another dancing back in her college days before Batman came along and infuriated them even further.

Christian Bale is in a new movie about Dick Cheney called “Vice.” His performance has been lauded by critics and the guy who played dashing Bruce Wayne pulled off looking like Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney is not dashing. On Sunday night, Bale won a Golden Globe award for his performance. During, his acceptance speech, he thanked Satan.

Bale accepted his award with humor, and thanked director Adam McKay for casting him to play someone “absolutely charisma-free and reviled by everybody.” He said from that point forward, he’d be “cornering the market” on playing “charisma-free assholes.” He joked that he may play Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell next. Then he said, “Thank you to Satan for giving me the inspiration to play this role.”

One group that was ecstatic about his Satan reference was The Church of Satan. They tweeted, “To us, Satan is a symbol of pride, liberty and individualism, and it serves as an external metaphorical projection of our highest personal potential. As Mr. Bale’s own talent and skill won him the award, this is fitting. Hail Christian! Hail Satan!”

Most people are confused about The Church of Satan and believe they’re literal devil worshipers. They’re actually atheist and as they said in their tweet, Satan is a symbol. The church is heavy on individualism. Being a member of a church as a non-believer has always seemed redundant to me. I thought half the point of being an atheist was avoiding meetings, dogma, and getting up early on Sundays.

Among Republicans upset over Bale’s comment was Liz Cheney, one of Dick’s daughters and Wyoming’s lone representative in Congress. She sent out her own tweet referencing an assault charge against Bale in 2008. She tweeted, “Satan probably inspired him to do this, too.” with a link to a story about an alleged assault on his mother and sister. Republicans are big about whataboutism.

Liz Cheney didn’t do much research, or she didn’t care to know all the facts which are common among Republicans these days. British police dropped the charges against Bale citing “insufficient evidence.”

I can’t speak or defend whatever it was Bale was involved in with his family members. But, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t amount to invading a sovereign nation over false pretenses leading to the deaths of over 3,000 Americans, sanctioning torture, or shooting a friend in the face with a shotgun.

As for Liz, maybe it was Satan who inspired her to spurn her own sister by opposing same-sex marriage in her failed run for the United States Senate in 2013. Mary Cheney, who is openly gay, wrote in a Facebook post, “Either you think all families should be treated equally or you don’t. Liz’s position is to treat my family as second class citizens.” She refused to support her sister’s candidacy and didn’t visit any of her family that year for Christmas. Basically, Satan inspired Liz to throw her little sister under the bus and fuck up Christmas.

Republicans have always claimed to be about family values unless someone in their family is gay.

Christian Bale seriously looks down on Dick Cheney, but his speech was humorous. Along with irony and hypocrisy, Republicans don’t understand humor. It was definitely with humor that he thanked Satan.

Is Dick Cheney really Satan, Darth Vader, or Voldemort? I don’t know, but one thing is for certain. Cheney’s a dick.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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THE National Emergency


cjones01112019

Apparently, we’re under a “national emergency” that will allow Donald Trump to become a dictator. No. The emergency isn’t over the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Breakfast Club dancing video or a congresswoman dropping an F-bomb while talking impeachment.

Trump is threatening to declare a national emergency if Democrats don’t give him $5 billion to start his racist medieval vanity project in the form of a wall on the Mexican border. This move will be an attempt to raid the Defense Department’s budget, and maybe other departments, for his $5 billion. The man who considers himself a great negotiator is acting like a hostage negotiator with him being the one holding the hostages.

Declaring a national emergency is real popular with authoritarian leaders. It’s been used recently in Turkey, Egypt, and Venezuela to expand those leaders’ powers.

Illegal immigration is not the greatest threat or challenge for the United States. In fact, the number of people illegally crossing our southern border has been steadily decreasing every year since 2007. So, why is it a national emergency now?

If it’s such a national emergency, then why does the Trump administration feel the need to create lies over it? Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen stated Friday that “over 3,000 special interest aliens” trying to enter the U.S. from the southern border had been stopped by Border Patrol agents. This is a lie. Sunday, White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders ignored Fox News’ Chris Wallace as he laid out facts, and she upped the lie to 4,000 stopped.

No terrorist has been found entering through our southern border. The “special interest aliens” are people stopped in airports whether it’s because they’re on the no-fly list or they just look shady. A lot of these people weren’t even arrested. How does stopping people in airports justify a national emergency to build a 2,000-mile wall on our southern border?

How does illegal immigration justify a national emergency and a southern border wall when the majority of people in this nation illegally didn’t enter through our border with Mexico?

If it’s a national emergency, then why all this over $5 billion when the wall will ultimately cost between $30 billion to $70 billion?

How is this a national emergency if Mexico is going to pay for the wall?

Experts agree that a wall is ineffective and logistically impossible. It is simply a racist vanity project that makes right-wingers and racists feel warm and squishy inside. You don’t need facts or actual results to feel warm and squishy.

A national emergency isn’t immigration. It’s war, plague, climate change, or a humanitarian crisis.

Or, a national emergency is a racist president who attacks the First Amendment, the free press, incites hate crimes, defends Nazis, and is being controlled by Vladimir Putin.

Donald Trump is THE national emergency.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Hello, Costa Rica Baby


crsta12282018

This cartoon was first published December 31, 2018, in The Costa Rica Star. Yeah, it ran last year.

This is my annual Baby New Year cartoon, and I used it for The Star. I did another with the baby for my syndication, but that was a lot different. This is one cliché I’m kinda OK with, depending on how it’s used.  I feel like it’s almost mandatory for newspapers to run one of these, so it’s like I better draw one.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Impeach The MF’er


cjones01102019

Yeah, if you have an issue with a congresswoman saying MF’er but you were silent the multiple times Trump used vulgarity, you’re an MF’ing hypocrite.

This is a bonus cartoon I was going to save until tomorrow, but I’m kinda excited for you to see it. So, I’m not sitting on it for a day.

However, you’re not getting a true blog with it because I’m tired and I want to go watch some football and eat chicken wings. See you Monday morning, fuckers.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Putin Talking Points


cjones01092019

Did you know the reason the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan in 1979 was because of terrorism? Did you know the Soviet Union had the right to invade them? Did you know it led to the Soviet Union being called “Russia” today? Yeah, me neither.

First, a quick little history lesson.

Afghanistan was a puppet government of the Soviet Union. When an insurgency popped up, initially backed by Pakistan and Iran, the Soviet Union invaded to protect their puppet state. Their justification was the Brezhnev Doctrine, which was a policy they used to justify their “right” to intervene in the affairs of communist countries. This was a big deal during the Cold War and the Soviets had argued this policy when intervening in uprisings in Hungary and Czechoslovakia, retroactively. Russians are real big about revisionism, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Leonid Brezhnev was the head of the Soviet Union and he sent Soviet forces into his southern neighbor where they fought for ten years trying to protect communism. By the end of the war, the Soviets lost nearly 15,000 soldiers and their Afghan allies lost around 18,000. It’s estimated they had killed between 75,000 to 90,000 of the Mujahideen, the forces trying to restore Afghanistan back to an Islamist state.

Between 562,000 to two million civilians were killed with around three million wounded. There were about five million refugees and two million displaced.

The United States, along with the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, West Germany, Pakistan, and China, were aiding the Mujahideen (which included the likes of Osama bin Laden). Go rent Charlie Wilson’s War.

President Jimmy Carter’s administration opposed the Soviet invasion and even boycotted participating in the Moscow Olympics over it. President Ronald Reagan continued Carter’s policy of support against the Soviet Union. These were two presidents, Democratic and Republican who knew that the Russians were not our friend.

Earlier this week while engaging in an incoherent rant at a cabinet meeting, Donald Trump, the current president of the United States, said, “The reason Russia was in Afghanistan was because terrorists were going into Russia. They were right to be there. The problem is, it was a tough fight. And literally, they went bankrupt; they went into being called Russia again, as opposed to the Soviet Union. You know, a lot of these places you’re reading about now are no longer part of Russia because of Afghanistan.”

His rambling kinda reminded me of my college history professor, who was also insane. He once went on a rant about how great Montreal was until draft dodging American hippies went up there and pooped on the sidewalks. The subject we were on was not Vietnam or Canadian history. Fortunately, it wasn’t on the test.

I don’t know if my college professor was accurate at any part of his rant, or if he was off his meds like our president, but everything Donald Trump said was bullshit.

The war was not about terrorism, they did not have the right to be there, and Afghanistan is just one of many factors leading to the collapse of the Soviet Union. But where did Donald Trump get this idea about the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan? I was a kid and I remember all of this, so surely an old orange racist fart like Donald Trump would remember it. Right? Since there has never been any sort of revisionist campaign in this nation about the Soviet’s invasion, how could Trump come up with such a cockamamie description? Putin.

Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has much control over Trump, has initiated a propaganda campaign describing the war exactly as Donald Trump did. So, did Trump get this description from his master? Probably, but when? Did Putin feed it into his head during their private off-the-record chat in Helsinki? Probably.

Once again, Trump is doing Putin’s bidding. He’s advocating for Russian propaganda and even that nation’s pride. He’s arguing they had the right to invade their neighbor, undermining American policy and patriotism of Presidents Carter and Reagan.

The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, a friend to Trump’s policies and owned by Rupert Murdoch, called Trump’s history lesson “reprehensible.”

They wrote, “We cannot recall a more absurd misstatement of history by an American President.”

I can’t recall a more absurd human to occupy the office of the American presidency. I also can’t recall one more stupid, racist, traitorous, despicable, stupid, sexists, and appeasing to Russia.

Did I mention “stupid” more than once? I’m fine with that.

Trump is Putin’s puppet, and he appeases him again and again. He’s defended Russia’s attack on our democracy and now he’s advocating for Putin’s propaganda. I think Trump’s comments is further justification for his impeachment. I hope Mueller is taking notes.

Trump and Putin are trying to rewrite history. I assure you, history won’t be kind to them. Instead of rewriting history, I’d rather see Trump become history.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Greetings For The 116th


cjones01082019

Yesterday was a historic day for Congress.

Nancy Pelosi became the first person elected as Speaker after leaving the position since Sam Rayburn in 1955. She remains the only women ever elected to the position.

There were several other historic achievements for women with the 116th Congress.

We saw the swearing-in of the first Native American women elected to Congress, Deb Haaland and Sharice Davids, the first Muslim women elected to Congress, Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar, and the youngest member ever elected, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Cortez has become the Right’s favorite new symbol of scary women. Google “Alexandria Ocasio Cortez Brietbart” and see what comes up. They’re obsessing about her almost as much as they are about black crime.

Yesterday, Republicans groaned and booed her when she cast her vote for Pelosi. She was the only person they booed for voting. Republicans also released a video of her dancing with friends from her college days. Nothing salacious, evil, or malicious about the dancing, as they were doing a play on The Breakfast Club. But for some reason, this is a scandal for the GOP. If Footloose Kevin Bacon becomes a transexual and runs for Congress, they will totally flip out.

Mike Pence, a man afraid to be alone in a room with a woman who is not his wife, got a little thrill when he not only had to swear women in with a Quran but also the first openly bisexual woman elected to Congress. Kyrsten Sinema chose to be sworn in on a law book instead of the Bible. Pence probably experiences as much discomfort with the Constitution as he does with the Quran and “nasty” women capable of having their own thoughts.

The Women’s March in 2017 continued into the halls of Congress yesterday, and Republicans are petrified. They don’t know how to gerrymander the women vote.

More people are voting for Democrats now than for Republicans. In 2016 and 2018, the majority of the nation voted against Donald Trump. Despite controlling the Senate, more people voted for Democratic candidates. Women aren’t just voting and getting more involved with activism, they’re running for office. Cortez, an educated, socialist, woman who is not white represents everything they fear. The future.

I personally believe we need to keep electing more women, non-whites, and people with different religious beliefs to positions of power. We are a diverse nation. Our government should represent that.

Yesterday presented us with two contrasting images. One was of the most diverse Congress in history being sworn in. The other was Donald Trump surrounded by a bunch of old bald white guys griping about immigrants.

Guess which one represents your future.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

DIY Racist Political Cartoon


cjones01072019

As soon as Elizabeth Warren’s name is mentioned, somewhere a political cartoonist starts drawing her with a tom-tom, tomahawk, smoke signal, war paint, etc. I’m surprised I haven’t seen one of her campaign HQ being a teepee (there’s a free one for ya’, boys). Don’t believe me? Do a Google image search for “Elizabeth Warren cartoon.” It’s embarrassing.

I decided to save Warren haters some work and give them the tools they need to put together their very own racist Elizabeth Warren cartoon. Have fun. Be responsible. Use children scissors so you don’t hurt yourself.

You’re not getting a long blog today because I’m running late and my proofreader Frank (yeah, Frank. I’m using you as an excuse) doesn’t have as much time, as usual to save me from myself today. I spent hours researching stereotypes and each time I thought I was done and had filled enough space, I’d think of another one. I started with six.

By the way and just because I think it needs reminding; Donald Trump still hasn’t paid that $1 million to charity for Warren taking a DNA test.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.