Election 2020

The Voting Blue No Matter Who Blues


CNN03082020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

A friend and fellow cartoonist is having a major freakout over Joe Biden probably being the Democratic Party’s nominee. I’m using him as an example because he’s the perfect case of a liberal freakout.

My friend is being a baby over this. Sure, we should all fight for what we believe to be the best direction of our nation, but I think this guy, who is in his mid to late 50s, is being irrational and whinier than any millennial over not getting his way. The guy is creating new anti-Biden posts on Facebook on a near hourly basis. I also disagree with him on three major points: He doesn’t believe Donald Trump did anything wrong when he asked Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Biden. He believes Joe and Hunter Biden are corrupt. And quite possibly the craziest one, there’s no difference between Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

While he does receive some resistance, he also has a lot of friends leaving comments who agree with him. Here’s where I disagree.

The Bernie Bros make the argument that it’ll be Democrats’ fault if Trump is reelected if they don’t make Bernie Sanders the nominee. Sure, a lot of whiners won’t vote for Biden because he’s too moderate or they believe he’s no different from Trump. But the Democratic Party can’t appease these people if they’re going to be irrational and with all due respect, stupid.

The argument here is if they don’t get what they want then they’re not going to help you, but you better give them what they want and then help them. That is, give them Bernie and then vote for Bernie against Trump, even though you feel about Bernie the way they do about Biden.

But even if you like Bernie Sanders, and I do, it’s ridiculous to believe a self-admitted socialist has a better chance of beating Donald Trump than a moderate.

I have a solution. Vote for the nominee no matter who it is. Bernie, Joe, vote blue. There is a difference between the Democratic nominee, no matter who it is, and Donald Trump.

If you don’t vote blue, then you’re allowing Trump to continue to appoint conservative fucknut judges, throw babies in jail, build a racist wall, ban Muslims from entering the nation, engage in further racist attacks and policies, build nationalism, starve poor children, destroy reproductive rights and further attack women, attack our allies, destroy NATO, hand South Korea over to North Korea while legitimizing Kim Jong Un, appease Vladimir Putin and ignore Russia’s attacks against our nation, slobber all over dictators, continue nepotism, enrich himself from the office, violate our environment while disregarding science, allow Iran to build nuclear weapons, increase the deficit while giving himself tax cuts, and install a government that serves Trump and only Trump.

And as displayed over the past two weeks while placing his ego over a pandemic hitting our nation, Donald Trump doesn’t know how to be president.

Voting for Donald Trump is voting for Kellyanne Conway, Mark Meadows, and Stephen Miller. It’s a vote to allow the worst people to run amuck over our government.

And you need to seriously ask yourself: Would you rather Ruth Bader Ginsburg be replaced by Joe Biden or Donald Trump? If you don’t think there’s a difference, then you’re dumber than I could ever give you credit for. You’re a special kind of stupid.

It doesn’t matter if the next president is Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders. What matters is that Donald Trump is no longer president. This nation can’t afford another four years of this.

Get over your vanity. Get over yourself. Grow up. Stop being an idiot and vote blue no matter who.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Conspiracy Pox


cjones03102020

I would really love it if Democrats would stop sounding like Donald Trump supporters.

It’s bad enough that Vladimir Putin is helping Bernie Sanders because he believes that’s the best way to help Donald Trump. It’s just as bad that Bernie Bro’s are online dicks and trolls. And then, you even have Bernie complaining about the “establishment.”

Let’s make something perfectly clear. There is no grand conspiracy to “steal” the nomination from Bernie Sanders. Before Super Tuesday, he only had 58 delegates. That’s a long way from securing the nomination. Nobody is rigging the system against Bernie. And to show you just how stupid it is to play the conspiracy game about the DNC and Bernie, Donald Trump called the endorsements from Amy Klobuchar, Pete Buttigieg, and Beto O’Rourke a “coup” against Bernie.

Congratulations, Democratic conspiracy theorists. You’re on the same level of thinking and paranoia as Donald Trump. Voting or endorsing is not a coup. It’s democratic. It’s politics. Bernie would have to be the leader of the party and then thrown out in an illegal manner for it to be a coup. Donald Trump’s excuse for not knowing the definition of a coup is that he’s Donald Trump. If you’re a Democrat, you don’t have an excuse.

Donald Trump sandwiches his conspiracy theories about the DNC between his conspiracy theories about Ukraine election meddling and his conspiracy theories about Covid-19 being out to get him. Don’t be like Trump. You’re supposed to be better than that.

You don’t need a conspiracy to believe the majority of the party rejects a socialist who isn’t a member of the party. You don’t need a conspiracy theory that the majority doesn’t want to run a socialist against Donald Trump. You need a conspiracy theory to believe Beto O’Rourke, who is no longer in Congress, is a failed Senate candidate, and a failed presidential candidate represents the establishment.

The DNC didn’t give Joe Biden a huge win Tuesday night. Democratic voters did. If you really believe black voters, who solidly supported Joe Biden, are the establishment, then I challenge you to put that on a T-Shirt and sell it.

What happened Tuesday night may not have even been a sound rejection of Bernie Sanders as much as it was a mandate that the majority of voters are ready to move on to the nominee and start the campaign against Donald Trump. I don’t think there’s better proof of that than Elizabeth Warren coming in third in Massachusetts.

No, her constituents don’t hate her. They’re not sexist. They’re ready to move on. They saw that Warren doesn’t stand a chance to get the nomination so they put their eggs in baskets where they thought they’d be used better. Basically, her voters in her state didn’t view her as a candidate anymore. Hell, most of them would probably prefer her but she’s no longer in the game. Maybe on Tuesday, she finally got that message.

I like Bernie. I like Elizabeth. I would prefer one of them over Biden. But I get it. The party wants to move. And, you don’t have to like it. Just deal with reality. The thing is, it’s not important if Bernie, Liz or Joe is the President of the United States of America. What’s important is that Donald Trump is not. That’s the reality you need to get.

Take this from a guy who shouts at his television and talks to himself along with inanimate objects: Stop talking like you’re in the Trump cult…or I’ll call the truck and have them take you away.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Kissy Cuddly Commies


cjones03032020

Maybe it’s just me, but if you identify yourself as a socialist in the United States and you want to be elected to the nation’s highest office, maybe don’t go around praising communist leaders.

Last Sunday during a 60 Minutes interview, Bernie Sanders praised the increase in literacy rates in Fidel Castro’s Cuba after his 1959 communist revolution. And while I understand his intention is that there’s something good to take away from that, and I think a lot of people are overreacting, I don’t understand why it’s a fixation for him and why now. Not a good time, Bernie. What’s next? Praise for Mussolini for getting the trains to run on time?

Bernie is a self-described socialist. He’s advancing ideas that are only radical in the United States like healthcare is a right. He’s campaigning on implementing policies that are successful in democratic socialist nations like Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Finland, Denmark, etc. Yet, all Republicans have been wailing on is that Bernie wants to turn us into Venezuela. Well, now Bernie has given them Cuba to add to the mix.

Sure. There are great things in Cuba, like healthcare and free education from preschool to doctorates. But it was implemented and rnn by a communist dictator who controlled the island from 1959 to 2008. There was no free press or speech. Travel from the nation was extremely limited. He made his nation a satellite of the Soviet Union. He helped instigate the Cuban missile crisis. He jailed thousands of dissidents and oversaw human-rights abuses which led to a large exodus of the nation’s citizens. The effect of Castro’s anti-imperialism and socialist-run system created an impoverished economy.

But you know who else established a very successful literacy program and provided free education to his citizens from cradle to grave? Saddam Hussein. Yet, nobody is talking about creating a government that mimics Iraq. No one is advocating for a system where everyone is literate but no one can operate a pencil because they criticized the leader and their hands were chopped off.

Bernie has made it clear he’s not praising authoritarianism. But in a way, he is. How about you just stop, Bernie? If Bernie Sanders is the nominee, he’s going to have a rough time winning Florida as it is without praising Fidel Castro (they rejected the extremely intelligent Andrew Gillum for a guy who made commercials where he’s building Lego walls with his baby). Bernie has pointed out that President Barack Obama also praised Cuba’s literacy rate under Castro, but there are a lot of Cuban Americans in South Florida who still have their knickers in a twist over him establishing diplomatic relations with the nation.

While I’m not happy with Bernie praising Castro, I’ll take that over Donald Trump, who has praised authoritarians over and over. And no, Trump isn’t praising their literacy programs as he’s not one who puts a lot of emphasis on reading or knowing stuff. Donald Trump is praising the practices that silence dissent and throws journalists out of high-rise buildings.

On North Korea, Trump said, “North Korea has tremendous economic potential like perhaps few other developing nations anywhere in the world.” Really, Donald? While Republicans are screaming that Democrats want to turn the United States into Venezuela, Donald Trump believes a one-man communist regime can create a “tremendous” economy. On Kim Jong Un, He said that they “fell in love.” At least Bernie hasn’t said he’s in love with Fidel Castro.

Donald Trump is currently seeking out Never Trumpers in his administration and purging those he deems disloyal. He defended the move by tweeting, “We want bad people out of our government!” Which is something a tyrant would say. That also leaves you with the kind of people with qualifications of the likes of an Ivanka Trump. So, with this purge, Trump is probably admiring that Kim Jong Un disposes of Never Kimmers with anti-aircraft guns and by having them ripped to shreds by dogs.

Let’s not forget that Kim Jong Un hasn’t just starved, brutalized, and tortured his own people, but he’s murdered American citizens. Kim Jong Un murdered American Otto Warmbier after torturing him and Donald Trump says Kim “feels bad about it.”

On Turkey’s president, who’s imprisoned journalists and dissidents, including a 16-year-old who insulted him and a Miss Turkey who shared a poem criticizing him. He jailed over 50,000 after a failed coup. He’s consolidated his powers to personally appoint or dismiss ministers, select judges, and rule by decree. Trump said, “It’s my honor to be with a friend of mine, somebody I’ve become very close to, in many respects, and he’s doing a very good job.” What kind of “respects” there, Trump? Are you going to start jailing people who write poems about you? Roses are red, violets are blue, Donald Trump is a racist fucking moron.

On China’s Xi Jinping, “President Xi, who is a strong man, I call him King, he said, ‘But I am not King, I am president.’ I said, ‘No, you’re president for life and therefore, you’re King.’ He said, ‘Huh. Huh.’ He liked that.” And then this one time…at band camp.

Donald Trump has had high praise for Philippines Rodrigo Duterte, especially in his war on drugs, which has involved that nation’s president personally dragging accused drug dealers in the street and murdering them. Duterte compared his killing of drug addicts, not dealers, with Hitler killing Jews. He said, “Hitler massacred three million Jews. Now, there is three million drug addicts. I’d be happy to slaughter them.” Fact check: Hitler killed over six million Jews, but Rodrigo probably didn’t have access to the type of education you’d find in Cuba. Rodrigo also said, “Just because you’re a journalist, you are not exempted from assassination if you’re a son of a bitch.” 72 journalists have been murdered in the Philippines since 1992.

This one is a little personal for me because, in 1997-98, I filled in for the legendary Corky Trinidad at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, who was in exile from his home nation of the Philippines during Marcos’ reign. It was an education being friends with Corky who I am confident would be furious with Donald Trump’s praise for Duterte if he was alive today.

A couple days ago, a conservative cartoonist accused me of practicing an “intolerant liberal religion.” And he’s right. When it comes to conservative cartoonists and journalists worshipping at the feet of a man who calls the free press “enemy of the American people,” and he’s admiring men who murder members of the press, I’m very intolerant.

Then there’s Russia’s Putin. When it was pointed out that Putin has had dissidents and journalists jailed and murdered, Trump responded with, “What, you think we’re so nice?” After Putin won a sham election, Donald Trump called to congratulate him, even after his staffers told him and left notes “not to congratulate.” During his press conference in Helsinki with the Russian president, he took Putin’s side over American intelligence. He has mimicked Putin’s lies about the Soviet Union’s invasion of Afghanistan and Ukraine meddling in the 2016 election. Trump wants to reward Putin by placing Russia back into the G7, which they were removed from with President Obama’s insistence after their annexation of Crimea.

Donald Trump praised Putin while criticizing President Obama. Donald Trump has refused to ever criticize or say one thing negative about Vladimir Putin. Not even his height and he’s shorter than Michael Bloomberg. And throughout his praise of Putin, Trump has been feuding with our Democratic allies. It’s OK for Putin to poison people on foreign soil and to attack our elections, but our national security is being threatened by Canadian cheese.

No, I’m not super happy and giddy about Bernie Sanders praising Fidel Castro. But given the choice between the man who admires the education and healthcare of Cuba vs. the man who admires the murderous, and oppressive tactics of dictators and strongmen like Kim Jong Un, Rodrigo Duterte, Recep Erdogan, Xi Jinping, and Vladimir Putin, I’ll go with Bernie. And if nothing else, at least Bernie hasn’t described people marching with Nazis as “very fine people.”

I’d rather feel the Bern than feel the hate.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Vote Blue No Matter Who Except You Know Who


cjones03012020

Recently, Nikki Haley, former South Carolina governor and ambassador to the United Nations tweeted, “It is amazing that a liberal socialist won in Iowa and New Hampshire. The idea that we would give up the freedoms our veterans fought and died for. Other countries have to be scratching their heads wondering what we are thinking.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call gaslighting, which is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual (I got that from Wikipedia). Gaslighting also targets history and people’s memory, like the economy wasn’t great before Trump came along. It’s also a great example of how someone can go to work every day and not learn a damn thing.

Nikki was ambassador to the United Nations. She was surrounded by foreign ambassadors and diplomats on a daily basis. And yet, she never noticed that basically, every single one of our allies are the types of governments Bernie Sanders, that liberal socialist, is campaigning for. A lot of these are the same allies who fought with us in the past. They’re not scratching their heads wondering how people can vote for Bernie Sanders. If anything, they’re scratching their heads wondering what took us so long. Or, they’re scratching their heads wondering why we fought to defeat the Nazis and now have a president (sic) who defends them. Or maybe just maybe they’re scratching their heads wondering how someone who warned us about following the “siren call of the angriest voices” could end up selling her her soul for Donald Trump’s siren call. Seriously, Nikki Haley. We don’t need no freaking lectures from you, you gaslighting, ignorant sellout.

Gaslighting is also warning that Democratic Socialism is the same as Venezuela when the fact is, it’s what they’re doing in Canada, the United Kingdom, Norway, Iceland, Sweden, Finland, the Netherlands, Denmark, etc. The don’t mention that the top ten countries rated on “happiness,” are Finland, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Netherlands, Switzerland, Sweden, New Zealand, Canada, and Australia. Either it’s the snow, smaller populations (fewer assholes), and maybe it’s the socialist programs. In case you haven’t noticed, and if you’re a Trump cultist then you haven’t but all of these countries are liberal.

We are already a socialist system. It’s just that our socialism works in the best interest of the rich. And when you hear conservatives warn about candidates promising “free stuff,” they’re the same people who voted for a racist asshole promising them a free wall.

And what is free and what isn’t? College shouldn’t be free but we should have a free military? Healthcare shouldn’t be free but we should have free nuclear weapons? C’mon, people. Nothing is free. We’re paying for it. Free college is out of the question but we can’t even discuss that we spend nearly $700 billion a year on our military? And when you hear people complaining about “poor” people on welfare, they’re ignoring the fact that we spend double on corporate welfare than we spend on food stamps and housing assistance. When someone’s complaining about welfare, it’s not really the welfare they have a problem with. I’ll give you one guess what really bothers them.

Yesterday, a Facebook “friend” posted a meme that Bernie is going to tax everyone who makes at least $29,000 a year at 52%. They took the 52% from what Bernie said about people making over $10 million. And get this: The person who posted that is a Democrat.

So for the past four years, Democrats and liberals have been attacking Bernie Sanders and his supporters for not voting and giving enough support to Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party after she secured the nomination. Fair enough. I think they could have been more supportive also. During this primary season, Democrats have been chanting “vote blue no matter who.” They have the idea that Bernie won’t win the nomination so his supporters better accept the idea now to support whoever does get it. I agree. Every Democrat should get used to the idea of supporting whoever gets the nomination. That also means you need to support the nominee if that person is Bernie Sanders.

Sure, it may be hard to beat Donald Trump with a candidate they can malign as the next Hugo Chavez, but remember, we were able to elect a black man with a Muslim father from Africa who has a name that rhymes with “Osama.” Can we elect Bernie Sanders? Yes, we can.

If you disagree with Bernie’s policies, that’s fine. If you want to scream at me about them, go ahead. But stop lying. Tell the truth. Don’t act like you’re in the Trump cult. And, if you’re on Bernie’s side, don’t act like a troll.

Democrats, socialists, liberals, and blues need to support each other. Go ahead and fight right now. Do it honestly. And when the time comes, support the nominee. And if Bernie’s the nominee, then it doesn’t matter what Bernie wants to do with Medicare or public education right now. What matters most is getting rid of Donald Trump.

I still haven’t made up my mind on who I’m voting for on Super Tuesday. But I’m leaning toward Bernie.

The way I see it, it’s the most honest and ethical vote for me. I liked him in 2016 but I voted for Hillary Clinton in the primary. This time, I’m voting for the most honest and ethical candidate on the ballot. This is a second chance and I’ll probably never be able to vote for someone this honest and ethical ever again. He’s had the same positions his entire life.

That said, I don’t think I’m a Bernie Bro. I don’t like the trolling. I don’t like the attitude of his supporters. Quite frankly, there’s not a lot of distance between your tactics and those of the Trump cult. But you are not Bernie. And also unlike you, if Bernie doesn’t win the nomination, I’ll still be voting for the Democratic candidate to defeat Donald Trump.

For me, voting blue no matter who is real. It really doesn’t matter who.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Lemony Bloomberg


CNN02232020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Someone said something close to “no one has ever lost as much money in one night in Las Vegas than Michael Bloomberg.” The guy has spent millions of his own money running for president only to be eviscerated by Elizabeth Warren.

While Warren successfully tore Bloomberg down, it doesn’t seem to have helped her with gaining delegates. Sure, her donations increased, but she’s still trailing nearly all the other candidates. It’s kinda like when Christ Christie destroyed Marco Rubio in a debate and the only person it helped was Donald Trump. Hell, Trump didn’t even make the guy his veep (which he expected) or give him a cabinet position. But I understand he did get some meatloaf and the opportunity to make fast food runs for Trump.

Yesterday, I made a post that Bloomberg is my top choice among the Democratic candidates…based upon my ability to caricature them. That confused people and sent many into a panic. C’mon, people. If I was going to vote based upon how easy it is to draw them and give me material, I’d be voting for Trump and would have voted for him in 2016. But there’s no way in Hell that I would ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever cast a vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Unless he’s the nominee against Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Bloomy’s Slutty Slots


cjones02292020

Did I mention in the last blog after the debate that Michael Bloomberg had a lousy night?

It wasn’t just that Bloomberg got kicked in the teeth by Elizabeth Warren all night long, but that he wasn’t prepared at all. For example, at one point, he criticized Bernie Sanders for owning three homes despite being a socialist. At last count, Bloomberg owned at least 12 homes. In case you’re a Republican, 12 is more than three.

But it was Warren inflicting the most damage. If Bloomberg wasn’t a billionaire funding his own campaign, his campaign would be over. Bloomy didn’t just have to answer for his racist “stop and frisk” policy he enacted as mayor of New York City, but also for sexist comments he’s made at his business and for multiple non-disclosure agreements with female staffers.

Another great example of Bloomberg being unprepared was his defense of the NDAs as being for the protection of the women’s privacy. And as Warren pointed out, one of his defenses was that he’s been nice to some women. He also wasn’t prepared for Warren’s challenge to release all women from his company’s NDAs. Warren continued that challenge after the debate.

Elizabeth Warren used to teach contract law at Harvard. She crafted a release form for those who have signed NDAs with Bloomberg and his company and challenged him to sign it. She said, “”All that Mayor Bloomberg has to do is download it. I’ll text it. Sign it and then the women or men will be free to speak and tell their own stories.”

Yesterday, Bloomberg offered to release three women from their NDAs and free them to tell their sides of the story. Are these NDAs over harassment or discrimination at his company? Were they drawn up over the behavior of managers at his company or Bloomberg himself? At the debate, Bloomberg said, “None of them have accused me of doing anything, other than maybe they didn’t like a joke.”

That’s not good enough for Warren. She said, “Mike Bloomberg and his company should issue a blanket waiver so anyone who wants to come forward can come forward, with or without Bloomberg’s prior permission.” She’s right. Even the three releases he’s offered require the women to contact his company. Do those releases require other forms to sign? Do they need to sign an NDA to be released from their NDAs?

Bloomberg needs to “man-up” and offer a blanket waiver that doesn’t require those who have signed NDAs to contact or go through his company. Warren pointed out that we don’t know how many women have signed NDAs at his company. What do you want to bet it’s more than three?

At one of his racist fucknut rallies, Donald Trump said Bloomberg spent $500 million to be embarrassed by “Pocahontas.” Trump may want to pay more attention because what Warren is doing to Bloomberg is just practice for what she’ll do to him. I for one would love to see how she would respond to his racist slur while sharing a debate stage.

Michael Bloomberg’s presidential campaign is a loser and I don’t think he’s rich enough to make Democrats forget his debate performance. He’s not rich enough to convince Democrats that we need to replace an arrogant, sexist billionaire with another arrogant, sexist billionaire.

Instead of participating in the Las Vegas debate, Bloomy should have hit the casinos. Versus his presidential campaign, he would have lost a lot less money on the slots.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Fat Broads And Horse-Faced Lesbians


cjones02272020

I wish men who have a history of calling women “fat broads” and “horse-faced lesbians” wouldn’t even bother with running for president because this was a nation that wouldn’t consider such a jackal for our highest office. Unfortunately, this is a nation where there are enough voters, with the help of Wikileaks, Vladimir Putin, and some ill-timed FBI announcements, to put a self-described “pussy grabber” in the White House.

The bar for expectations was lowered for Former New York City mayor and multi-billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s first presidential debate. It wasn’t lowered enough. But maybe he would have performed better if Elizabeth Warren wasn’t standing next to him because, within the opening minutes, his night was done. Warren engaged in a scorched-earth strategy last night and she didn’t take prisoners. If there was a bar lowered for Mayor Bloomy, she took it and beat his ass with it.

While every candidate on the stage, Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Amy Klobuchar, and Pete Buttigieg were determined to chip away at Bloomberg’s standing in the polls, it was Warren who drew blood.

Bloomberg was a late entry into the Democratic primary and wasn’t on the ballots in Iowa or New Hampshire. He won’t be on the ballots in South Carolina or Nevada. We’ll have to wait until Super Tuesday to see how he performs in an actual contest. But with the millions of his own money he’s been pumping into the race, he’s rising in the polls. In my state of Virginia, he’s responsible for over 99% of all political ads to this point of the 2020 campaign. Right now, you’re not going to see another candidate on the air in Virginia except for Donald Trump. It’s not just his face on television. Bloomberg is also hiring and building a huge campaign organization. In Colorado, for example, Bloomberg has a staff of 55. By comparison, the current front runner, Bernie Sanders, has two.

So, with Bloomberg spending big and building a campaign his rivals can only dream of, they each took their shots last night in Las Vegas. If it was a shooting gallery at the state fair, it was Warren who won the giant stuffed monkey as all her shots hit.

Warren hit Bloomberg for alleged sexist comments he’s made and non-disclosure agreements signed by former employees.

Warren started with, “A billionaire who calls women ‘fat broads’ and ‘horse-faced lesbians.’ And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.” Interestingly enough, Bloomberg didn’t defend himself or deny he made those comments.

About 40 minutes into the debate, it came back to Bloomberg who boasted of paying and promoting women equally in his company and said, “I have no tolerance for the kind of behavior that the #MeToo movement has exposed.” Warren shot back, “I hope you heard what his defense was: ‘I’ve been nice to some women.’ That just doesn’t cut it.”

Then Warren challenged him to state how many non-disclosure agreements were signed and to release all the women from the deals and allow their alleged accounts of harassment or discrimination to become public. Bloomberg didn’t release them last night and made a poor defense stating, “None of them accused me of anything other than maybe they didn’t like a joke I told.”

Bloomberg’s responses couldn’t have been worse for him if his opponents had written them.

A lot of people were tweeting that Elizabeth Warren killed Michael Bloomberg. In fact, for a minute, his Wikipedia page reflected that he had been murdered by Elizabeth Warren in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A statement by his campaign reflected that Bloomberg sucked the suckiest suck that ever sucked on a debate stage with, “He was just warming up tonight.” Dude, with all the money you spent, your campaign needs to bullshit better than that. But, he doesn’t have to warm up because he got roasted with Warren’s flamethrower.

Donald Trump tweeted, “Mini Mike Bloomberg’s debate performance tonight was perhaps the worst in the history of debates, and there have been some really bad ones. He was stumbling, bumbling and grossly incompetent. If this doesn’t knock him out of the race, nothing will. Not so easy to do what I did!” That is true. Donald Trump’s debate performances were stumbling, bumbling, and grossly incompetent, yet he stayed in the race. That wasn’t easy, what with all his debate performances being “really bad ones.”

But Trump unknowingly, like most things he makes, makes a point. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how poorly you perform in a debate. Donald Trump never won a debate in 2016. In fact, he never went through a debate without looking like a total, sexist, racist jackass who didn’t know shit about shit. Donald Trump went through 11 debates where all he talked about was making Mexico pay for a wall and the size of his penis (No, I’m not saying Mexico was going to pay to increase his penis size. They’d need something to work with). The one thing Bloomberg has going for him is that Americans may push aside past sexist comments and the fact he’s not a total freaking idiot like Donald Trump. And then there’s his money. While Donald Trump is a pretend billionaire, Bloomberg is an actual billionaire.

If Donald Trump had to produce a billion dollars in cash today, he wouldn’t be able to do it, even with all the stealing he’s doing from emoluments and from campaign donations. Meanwhile, Bloomberg is doing it as we speak. Elizabeth Warren even predicted it’s how he’ll recover from last night’s stinky debate performance.

She told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, “After his performance tonight, I have no doubt he is about to drop another $100 million … in order to erase America’s memory of what happened on that debate stage.” She’s probably right and it will probably work.

Of course, Donald Trump had something going for him in 2016 that Bloomberg doesn’t have today. Trump was in the Republican primary where “grab them by the pussy” or racist comments weren’t dealbreakers. If anything, they helped him with Republicans. Bloomberg is in the Democratic primary which is where the majority of women and minorities in this nation vote. Plus, Democrats have higher standards.

Michael Bloomberg is a former Republican who is a New York City billionaire who has made a lot of sexist comments and is a terrible presidential candidate. We already have that in Trump. But if Bloomberg emerges as the nominee, I’ll still be voting for Michael Bloomberg for president. I’ll probably be in the shower crying for the next three days afterward, but still…I’ll be voting for Bloomberg.

On another note, why isn’t “The Horse-Faced Lesbians” a punk rock band?

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