Election 2020

Hanging On A Vote Count


cjones11152020

In Georgia, Republican Senators David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler are headed to runoffs.

Perdue’s election is on the regular schedule for his seat but Loeffler’s is a special election since she was appointed to fill a vacant seat. They’re both very upset over the results in their state in last week’s election. And it’s not that they’re upset over their outcome, but of that for Donald Trump.

Ya’ see, kids…David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler are obedient sycophants. They represent the party that’s more about the cult than the party that’s concerned over policy. This Republican Party does not care about democracy or the rule of law. These two senators believe there should be punishment inflicted upon those who don’t use their position or even break the law for Dear Leader. And if a person performs the duties of their job appropriately and it doesn’t serve Trump, then that person has to go.

Perdue and Loeffler are calling upon Georgia’s Secretary of State, Brad Raffensperger, a fellow Republican, to resign because he counted more votes for Joe Biden than he did for Donald Trump.

There’s a very good reason why Raffensperger counted more votes for Joe Biden than for Donald Trump in Georgia and that’s because more people in Georgia voted for Joe Biden than for Donald Trump.

Georgia is run by Republicans and they’re all upset that Joe Biden has won the state. They have scheduled a hand-recount and they haven’t even finished the first count. Funny thing is, in 2018, Georgia’s then-Secretary of State, Brian Kemp, removed thousands of black voters from the being eligible to vote and, surprise surprise, he won the gubernatorial election. The man literally voted on his voters. These Republicans didn’t have an issue with that vote count.

Now, David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler are calling the election and “embarrassment” and these two Riff Raffs are accusing Raffensperger of “mismanagement” and “lack of transparency.” Just like the accusations Republicans are making in other states over Donald Trump losing, these two didn’t have proof, examples, specifics, evidence, etc. Their only grounds are that Dear Leader didn’t win.

Democrats did not steal this election. If they did, there wouldn’t be two senate runoffs. Republicans won’t be able to overturn the election in any state and they’d need several to give Trump enough votes to win the electoral college.

The facts are Donald Trump lost the election and Joe Biden is the president-elect of the United States of America. Since they don’t like those facts, elections, or democracy, I don’t know why Republicans are playing around with recounts and lawsuits. Why don’t they just cancel all elections, ignore the recent one, and declare themselves winners? They can declare Donald Trump president for life and install themselves as his minions with government salaries and free healthcare.

Republicans don’t care about democracy or the United States Constitution because they are trying to steal an election. They only care about the cult of Trump. Their unwillingness to accept election results is proof they never considered impeachment for Trump or cared that he broke the law in that matter.

Republicans, you lost. Get over it. Go over to that racist social media platform, Parlor, and gripe about it there.

But since we’re still using elections to select our leaders, pay attention in Georgia. And here’s a tip when you vote: Don’t vote for motherfuckers who want to steal your vote. Don’t vote for motherfuckers who don’t believe in the sanctity of democracy and fair elections. Don’t vote for motherfuckers who want to punish people because they don’t like the legal outcome. Don’t vote for undemocratic motherfuckers. Don’t vote for motherfuckers who will put Dear Leader over their duties as elected members of the United States Senate.

Georgia, you can do better than being represented by cowards and sycophants. Make it happen.

Note: I used to live in Georgia back in the early 80s.

Other note: My son has tested positive for the coronavirus. And totally unrelated, I have been experiencing symptoms. I’m taking a test tomorrow afternoon. I can’t smell anything. I can’t even smell the GOP bullshit.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Mr. President-Elect


CNN11092020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

In fact, for this week’s newsletter. I drew TWO cartoon.

In the first cartoon, I wanted to show the contrast between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I’ve seen a few other cartoonists do this also.

With Biden, you have a president-elect calling for unity. He’s already building his government.

In Donald Trump, here’s a man refusing to concede and engaging in wild conspiracy theories in order to cling to power. In firing his Defense Secretary, he’s dismantling his government. For their part, the GOP is enabling him. They keep saying we need to count every “legal” ballot, ignoring the fact we don’t have an abundance or any clear signs there are illegal ballots. It’s not like you go to a restaurant and say you only want food that’s not from a human carcass. That’s a given, right?

In 2016, Hillary Clinton conceded and President Obama invited Donald Trump to the White House. President Obama got the wheels rolling for the transition. He handed over the keys. Trump’s administration is refusing to cooperate with the president-elect’s transition team. In doing so, Donald Trump is proving he doesn’t care about the best interest of the nation.

When Trump was in Obama’s White House, President Obama said he wanted Trump to succeed because when he succeeds, “we all succeed.” Trump’s actions today show he’s not just wishing Biden to fail, he’s trying to make him fail.

Every presidential race has a loser. Most of those losers distinguish themselves with some dignity. Donald Trump doesn’t know how to do dignity. It doesn’t know how to afford people the generosity and privilege that’s been extended to him. Donald Trump is incapable of behaving like an adult. Donald Trump was a sore winner in 2016. In 2020, he’s distinguishing himself as a sore loser.

The same people who are crying about voter fraud in 2020 never proved it when they cried “voter fraud” in 2016. In fact, Donald Trump created a special commission to investigate voter fraud which failed to find any and quietly disbanded after working as a government agency acquiring voter roll data for the Trump Campaign. Fact.

Now, the same lawyers who are going to litigate voter fraud accusations are the same jerks who can’t differentiate between the Four Seasons Hotel and Four Seasons landscaping next to a Philadelphia dildo store (which should be called “Philadelphia dildos”). The leader of this legal team is the same jerk caught with his hands literally down his pants in a hotel room, with what he thought was a teenage girl, in a Borat movie. Do you want an investigation? Let’s investigate that. Screw missing ballots in Michigan. Rudy, why were you in a hotel room having drinks with a teenage girl while lying down with your hand down your pants? Kudo’s to Borat.

Also, if you run into Rudy, you have another reason besides Covid 19 to bring hand sanitizer.

CNN11082020

As for polls: Dammit, pollsters.

I spent four years defending your polling asses. In 2016, the polls weren’t off. The race was in the margin of error. The polls were pretty accurate in each state. What was off were the predictions.

This time however, they were off. National polls had Biden ahead way outside the margin of error. While plenty of states were tight, like Florida, North Carolina, Arizona, Texas, Ohio, and even Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Michigan were way off. Those states gave Biden a huge lead.

Even though I knew they were mostly counting election day ballots on election night, I knew the were polls were wrong. Way wrong.

If you’re like me, a journalist who’s been reading the polls on a daily basis, you’re kinda pissed. This is a resource for me. I like my resources to be…what’s the word? Oh yeah. RESOURCEFUL!!!

These polling agencies need to figure out what they’re doing wrong. Maybe start with not only calling people with landlines anymore. That’s like taking a poll of people who don’t have the internet. And why can’t they call cell phones? People are calling me everyday on mine to ask about the warranty on the car I don’t have.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Arrivederci, Cheeto


cjones11122020

The Donald Trump experiment is over and even though it’s been four years, it was a failure from day one.

On day one, the very first thing that a President (sic) Donald Trump did was send his spokesgoon, Sean Spicer, out to lie to the American public about crowd sizes.

The very first official business of this president (sic) was to lie to the people he served about something petty that only served his fragile ego.

Donald Trump has much to be insecure about. He’s not very smart. He’s not well-liked. He’s not a successful businessman. He wouldn’t have ever been successful with women if he wasn’t rich. He’s not attractive. He’s losing his hair. He’s overweight. He’s not a good president (sic) or even barely capable. He can’t grasp facts. And most of all, he’ll never be as good as President Obama. Now Donald Trump has so much more to be insecure about.

Donald Trump lost the popular vote…TWICE!!! He’s only the 11th president to lose his reelection bid (out of 45). He’s the first one-termer since George H. W. Bush. And on top of all that, he was impeached. But bad presidents should only serve one term. Donald Trump was lucky to last that long.

The Trump presidency (sic) has been one of lies, grifting, and corruption. It’s been reported his businesses have made over $8 million from the presidency. We never saw his taxes. It was fitting that he received the news that Joe Biden won the election while he was one of his golf courses.

Now, as a former president (sic), he’ll still be able to charge his Secret Service protection rent, room and golf cart rentals, and for sandwiches from the Trump clubhouse. But, he won’t be able to charge the government as much. And the pandering from corporations, foreign nations, and anyone else who needed to cater his ego for government business will all fade away because now, Donald Trump can’t do anything for them.

Donald Trump will now get a book deal for a book he’ll be incapable of writing. He’ll also be paid to give speeches for people who want to be barked dog whistles in an incoherent manner. That is, if Donald Trump can stay out of prison…or avoid those mystery creditors he owes over $400 million to.

Jimmy Carter has used his life as a former president to build houses for the poor. George W. Bush paints. Bill Clinton has built a massive charity. Barack Obama has worked to inform and build a political base to help this nation progress. Donald Trump will spend his life as a former president (sic) enriching himself. It’s what he did before he was president (sic). It’s what he did as president (sic). It’s what he’ll do as a former president (sic).

That is, until he runs again in 2024. The only thing that may stop him from running will be if he can afford to run. He may have to spend the entire time saving his ass.

And since Donald Trump never had anything impressive to impress us, he had to make shit up, like crowd sizes. But when it comes to crowd sizes, Donald Trump will never see one supporting him as large as those celebrating his ouster.

The entire world was waiting for Donald Trump to be fired. They celebrated in Washington, DC, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Atlanta, and in other cities across the United States. What may have stung most were the crowds celebrating in his hometown of New York City. Times Square hasn’t seen crowds like it did Saturday since the pandemic began.

When I was in Times Square last June, it was just me, my slice, and some hungry pigeons. There were also some city workers going into the sewers who didn’t appreciate my C.H.U.D. jokes. But on Saturday, it looked like the Times Square of old, where there was NOT a celebration when Trump “won” the presidency. And it didn’t stop there. The party went international.

There were celebrations in London, Paris, Berlin, Edinburgh, Glasgow, and throughout all of Europe. There were fireworks, champagne, and the ringing of church bells. The only cities that were glum about it were Moscow, Pyongyang, and Tel Aviv.

Finally, Donald Trump…we’re impressed with a crowd size in your honor. Ain’t no party like a Trump just got fired party.

Creative note: Since a couple of people have brought up how much work it must have taken to draw this crowd…multiply that by two. After Laura proofread the cartoon, she told me the crowd should be wearing masks…and that I’ll probably hate her for pointing that out. She was right. I hate her. She was also right about the mask. In most videos and pictures of these celebrations, the crowds aren’t like Trump rallies. They’re wearing face masks. When I was in Washington last week, the majority of people I saw protesting on Black Lives Matter Plaza were wearing face masks. So, after drawing all the faces, I had to go back and erase and draw in face masks…then I had to color them.

I actually love Laura but I still kinda hate her.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

The New Detail


cjones11112020

Author Andrew Shvarts tweeted, “This election is like if your friends pick dinner and 3 vote pizza and 2 vote ‘kill and eat you.’ Even if pizza wins, there’s a big problem.” He tweeted that in 2016 but it applies more to the 2020 election.

That’s the question we have to ask ourselves: After four years of chaos, insanity, racism, and over 230,000 dead from an ignored virus and massive job loss, why did nearly half this country vote for the Nazi apologist? Why did half the country vote for the guy who’s lied to them over 20,000 times? Why did half the nation want four more years of this bullshit?

While we can celebrate that we’re getting rid of Trump, we still have his MAGAts. Yes, liberals got the White House, but didn’t win control of the Senate and actually lost seats in the House. There’s actually a member of Qanon heading to Congress. So if you’re thinking that you don’t have to flee the nation because Trump won’t be poisoning it up anymore, the damange may already be done.

As for the Secret Service, good for the guys who have been assigned to the Biden detail and too bad for the guys still protecting Trump’s ass. Even with Donald Trump out of the White House, he still qualifies for Secret Service protection for the rest of his life (along with the pension we’ll pay him. Let’s see if he donated that). A former president (sic) can decline Secret Service protection, which President Jimmy Carter has done.

The only times I am aware of an attempt on the life of a former president was when Saddam Hussein planned to assassinate former President George H. W. Bush and when someone shot former President Theodore Roosevelt. But in Roosevelt’s situation, he was once again a presidential candidate (and he delivered a speech after being shot and before going to the hospital).

Donald Trump is a supposed billionaire. He can afford his own security. But if he declines Secret Service protection, then he can’t bilk them (us) for rent, golf cart rentals to follow him around, and for shitty sandwiches and shitty rooms at his shitty resorts. Will his children decline Secret Service protection. I know from experience that children of a former president continue to receive protection, at least for a while. I went to high school with Amy Carter after her father lost to Ronald Reagan and the Secret Service was constantly present.

But then again, Donald Trump said he’d have to leave the country if he lost to the likes of Joe Biden. I’d like to hold him to that promise. Will Putin provide him a security detail?

Of course, he could always go to jail and then we don’t have to worry about any of it.

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Watch me draw.

You’re Fired


cjones11102020

There’s a line in The 40-Year-Old Virgin that has come to my mind. It is, “Dude, get the fuck out of here.”

The toadies, the followers, the sycophants, the cult, and the MAGAts are screaming and crying that the guy who asked Russia if they were listening in 2016 and asked Ukraine for help in 2019 is now being cheated.

The cult is upset that the bulk of mail-in ballots are heavy in Joe Biden’s favor, forgetting that they didn’t vote early or by mail. They’re forgetting their cultist leader told them not to vote early.

The cult is forgetting that it’s not unique to take days to count ballots. They don’t understand election day ballots were counted first in most locations. Because of this, a come-from-behind victory for Joe Biden in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Georgia look funny. They’re calling fraud. They believe it’s fraud that all ballots are counted and that every vote counts. They blame Democratic Party-run states forgetting that Georgia is controlled by Republicans.

They believe Biden gaining an advantage after they had the lead is fraudulent, except in Arizona.

They forget that President Obama called Hillary Clinton and suggested she concede the election. They forget President Obama was presidential and cooperated with a transfer of power. They forget that President Obama sat through Donald Trump’s inauguration and cringe-worthy American carnage speech.

Now, the crowd who called us “snowflakes” and spent four years “owning the libs” are being a bunch of crybaby snowflakes.

These cultists have proven time and time again they put the cult of personality above policy. They have put Donald Trump before democracy. Their complaints about the vote count is hypocritical, whiny, and stupid. Their only argument is that counting didn’t stop after Trump had the lead. They demand that the counting stop now not realizing that if we did stop counting now, Joe Biden would win.

Like Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden won the popular vote. Unlike Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden also won the Electoral College. When the other candidate gets more votes than you, you have a lousy argument for winning the election. Elections have consequences. You lost. Get over it.

So of course, lousy winners make for lousy losers. Should I care about their feelings during this? Nope. I don’t care.

Now, there are reports that nobody in the White House wants to be the bearer of bad news. Nobody wants to tell Donald Trump he has lost. In that case, I will be glad to go back up to Washington and accept the task of delivering the bad news to Donald Trump because unlike Republicans, I am not afraid of him.

I will be more than happy to look Donald Trump in the eye, this person who’s more a collection of bad personality traits than human who spent four years lying to us from a position he never belonged in, “Dude, get the fuck out of here. Get out of our house.”

You’re fired.

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Watch me draw.

Cheated By Democracy


cjones11092020

A lot of American Venezuelans voted for Donald Trump because they don’t want America to become like Venezuela, you know…where the leader refused to step down and recognize a fair election.

Sorry for the short blog. I woke to a surprise assignment today.

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Counting Hissy Fits


cjones11082020

The Trump era began with stupidity, ran on stupidity, and will end with stupidity.

Donald Trump is promising to take the election fight to the Supreme Court, though he hasn’t specified on what grounds.

He claims counting ballots after the election disenfranchises the votes already counted. How does that make sense? It doesn’t.

In Pennsylvania and Georgia, Donald Trump is screaming to stop the recount. In Nevada and Arizona, he’s a champion of counting late ballots. In Wisconsin, he’s demanding a recount. His angry mobs of goons, who had been “standing by,” are now at some locations where votes are being counted, demanding for the votes to be counted…which is what’s being done. In other locations, MAGAts are gathered at election offices chanting for the counting to stop.

When Donald Trump won Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin in 2016, he won by very thin margins. His opponent didn’t take the election to court or demand recounts. Now, he’s going to be on the losing end of several states by slim margins and he plans to fight each one all the way to the Supreme Court where three of the justices are Trump goons “standing by.”

Donald Trump will go to court with inconsistent arguments. The best thing is to remain consistent and argue that every vote should be counted. Let the chips fall where they may.

Donald Trump feared Joe Biden before the election. He tried to get dirt on him from Ukraine for which he was impeached. He called for his Attorney General to investigate Biden. He called for Joe Biden’s imprisonment. And now, he’s screaming there’s fraud because votes are being counted.

Donald Trump wants to be a dictator so bad. I hope his fear of Joe Biden winning this election is realized and deprives him of his totalitarian dreams.

If Joe Biden doesn’t win this election, it might be the last one we ever have.

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Watch me draw.

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go


cjones11072020

How are you feeling this morning? I’m actually feeling pretty good compared to how I felt when I went to bed just a few short hours ago.

Donald Trump was leading in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. When I woke up, he had lost the lead in Michigan and Wisconsin. Honestly, it looks like Biden is going to take those.

What am I worried about? First, that Trump somehow pulls it out. I’m worried that even if Biden wins, Trump fights it to the courts and in the state legislatures. He’s calling vote counting “fraud.” He’s declared himself the winner even though they’re still counting. I’m worried about this country because no matter the outcome, it’s seriously divided. I’m worried about this country because no matter what, half of it isn’t just racist like they were four years ago. They’re OK with baby jails and a man-child playing president who lied to them while a virus killed over 230,000 people. They’re OK with a guy who wants the nation divided.

If I was going to select the kind of place I wanted to live in, it wouldn’t be this place. But it is this place. I was born here. I’m going to fight for it…just like I have been for the past four years.

I think Biden’s going to win but keep in mind, I’m a cartoonist. But, looking at the polls, you’re doing just as well to listen to me as you are listening to them. Also, I was wrong four years ago.

Yes, this nation is pretty much screwed but I’m not jumping yet.

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