Supreme Fail


cjones12132020

They do like to do everything bigger in Texas. With their lawsuit trying to overturn an American election and throw out democracy, Texas got the biggest humiliation from the Supreme Court ever when they got their suit thrown out late yesterday afternoon.

Their lawsuit was the biggest fraud. It was the biggest attempt to subvert American democracy. It was the biggest vote steal attempt in American history. It was the biggest suck-up to a cult leader in history. It was the biggest grab for fascism in our nation’s history. Way to go, Texas. You are the biggest loser…other than Trump, of course.

The lawsuit wasn’t just flawed on legal grounds. It was stupid. Lawyers and legal experts lose lawsuits all the time but here, we have 19 state attorneys general who were wrong to even bring this suit, to support it, to champion it, to even believe in it. Over 120 House Republicans signed onto this. A lot of them are lawyers. They’re lawmakers. How do they explain being so wrong? How do they explain being a part of something so botched and moronic? How do they explain seeking to destroy democracy?

The Orlando Sentinel endorsed Republican Michael Waltz. This week, they retracted their endorsement stating they had no idea, no way of knowing at the time that Waltz would not be “committed to democracy.” They also attacked Waltz and the other Republican House members for joining the Trump lawsuit citing their “cowardly betrayal” and willingness to “undo 231 years of election tradition and norms so their guy, Donald Trump, can have another four years in office.”

They lost an election and they’re trying to overturn it. They’re trying to throw out the legal votes of over 20 million voters. They’re trying to steal an election. They’re trying to turn the presidency into a monarchy. They’re trying to turn our democracy into a fascist state. All of that…is wrong.

This suit was ridiculous. One argument was that no candidate has ever won the presidency without winning Ohio and Florida. That argument is as sound as no NFL team has ever won the Super Bowl with a bird logo on their helmet (that used to be true), so the Eagles, Seahawks, or Atlanta Falcons could never win a Super Bowl. That’s only true for the Falcons. The Trump argument is only a peculiar note for political analysts and political scientists to obsess over. And…it’s not even true. Richard Nixon won the White House while losing Ohio and Florida. You would think these lawyers, especially an attorney general, would fucking look that up before making it part of his lawsuit. You would think an attorney general would understand it’s NOT a legal argument.

Also, just because something’s never happened before doesn’t mean it won’t. Back in 1992, critics told Bill Clinton no one has ever won the presidency after losing the New Hampshire primary. Back in 2016, we also noted this nation has never before elected a racist Oompa-Loompa.

The lawsuit included the claim, “The probability of former Vice President Biden winning the popular vote in the four Defendant States — Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin — independently given President Trump’s early lead in those States as of 3 a.m. on November 4, 2020, is less than one in a quadrillion, or 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000.”

That spread like wildfire on Facebook and even Kayleigh McEnany, who has a history of lying, being wrong, and making stupid statements, repeated it. The fact is, it’s wrong.

The fact is: Donald Trump was never in the lead in those states. While it looked like he had the lead because officials counted same-day ballots and Trump regions first, mail-in and absentee ballots were there the entire time. You should not be surprised when mail-in, absentee, and votes from urban areas are counted last and go to the Democratic candidate. Those people tend to be educated voters. They tend to go Democratic. If you want it explained fully why the argument is wrong, go to Politifact, which does a great job summing it up.

Kayleigh McEnany may as well argue that Joe Biden only had one chance in a bazillion, frillion, schillion, kajillions, fudgezillion, walla-falla-ding-dongzillion, diggity-doggityzillion, Kelly Clarksonzillion.

Donald Trump has made a LOT of dumbass arguments since losing the election. One of my favorites is the “bookies” argument. The what?

A few days ago, Trump tweeted, “At 10 p.m. on Election Evening, we were at 97% win with the so-called ‘bookies.'” What?

This casino-failure doesn’t just think right-wing farty lawyers, Qanon fucknuts, or Vladimir Putin should decide the election. He thinks it should be given to the bookies. And, again he’s wrong.

At 10:00 p.m. on election night, oddsmakers said Trump’s chances of victory were at 74.2%. Oddschecker.com, which I didn’t know was a thing until now, tweeted at Trump, “Seeing as we’re the experts in this, here’s the truth. Just after midnight your odds implied a 69% chance you’d win.”

Was Donald Trump looking at bookie websites on election night?

But let’s take Trump’s argument seriously for a second. Ha. I know. But anyway…based on his reasoning, his victory over Hillary Clinton was a fraud. Oddsmakers, political analysts, so-called experts, and even me, predicted she would win in 2016. Those same people, including me, predicted Joe Biden would win in 2020. Why bother with elections when we can just go with the oddsmakers…or me? In 2024, I predict the winner of the presidential race will be…Kelly Clarkson.

The Electoral College will meet Monday and the 538 electors will choose the next president of the United States. That will be Joe Biden. Expect some Republican shenanigans to occur. On January 6, 2021, each vote is cast in Congress. Each state is called alphabetically and that state’s Certificate of Vote is announced and recorded. When they are finished, the vice-president, Mike Pence, will announce the results and the winner. Watching Pence have to announce that Joe Biden won is going to be a money moment on TV. He’ll probably mumble it or flat-out refuse to say it. Expect Republican shenanigans and bullshit because they’re pretty much out of options at this point…other than just a simple old-fashioned third-world banana-republic military coup.

When you look at the lawsuit, you realize everyone supporting it is too stupid to be in elected office. Unfortunately, there’s a shitload of them remaining as attorneys generals in 18 states and over 100 of them in Congress. Look at Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, Gym Jordan, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, or Marco Rubio. We elect a lot of spineless, hypocritical stupid fucks to office.

The good news is: Donald Trump, who is too stupid to hold political office, will not have one after January 20.

That’s because Donald Trump is a loser. If you don’t believe me, ask the Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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9 comments

  1. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Couldn’t have said it any better!! Read on … “Their lawsuit was the biggest fraud. It was the biggest attempt to subvert American democracy. It was the biggest vote steal attempt in American history. It was the biggest suck-up to a cult leader in history. It was the biggest grab for fascism in our nation’s history. Way to go, Texas. You are the biggest loser … other than Trump, of course.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great summation Clay and the cartoon is awesome.
    What I find so troubling is that it’s obvious not one of the Republican assholes that joined Texas ever gave a thought to how they would react if the situation were reversed with (say) trump winning by 7-million votes AND winning the electoral college AND the democrats filing 56 lawsuits plus 2 (to) the SCOTUS to pull off this outer-space seditious bullshit.

    Steve Schmidt nailed it with:
    “The Republican Party is an organized conspiracy for the purpose of maintaining power for self-interest and the self-interest of its donor class. There is no fidelity to the American ideal or American democracy. ”

    Having lost their 2nd ridiculous Supreme Court lawsuits – clown-car-driver and Texas GOP chairman Allen West now wants to secede from The Union. Didn’t Abrham Lincoln put a stop to that shit the 1st time around?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Texas has ‘threatened’ or ‘promised’ (take your choice) this before, but they never carry through. Think of all the federal subsidies they would lose; could their taxpayers alone continue to pay for their infrastructure and everything else provided by the feds? I don’t think so.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. If Texas and the other Red States want to secede, this time we should let them.
      We should build a Wall around all of them, cutting off all Interstate Highways and any secondary roads that cross state borders, and of course we will pay for it with all the Federal Subsidies that they are turning down.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Given that a few of those states are becoming more blue every election cycle, I’d rather not abandon those living there that still believe in democracy. Instead let’s keep helping them vote blue and throw out their terrible politicians. If Georgia and Arizona can do it, why not a state like Texas?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Fun fact! There are about 270,000 registered voters in Wyoming. If every one of them voted for Donald Trump then Trump lost by 29 Wyoming’s! (8,000,000÷ 270,000).

    Liked by 1 person

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