Texas

Texas Cowards


A few years ago I was at a wedding here in Virginia, and the bride’s mom had flown in for it from Texas. After the vows were exchanged and everyone was dancing and eating cake, the bride’s mom was talking about Texas. Everything that came out of her mouth was about how Texas was the greatest place in the world. Texas is great for this. Texas is amazing for that. Texas, Texas, Texas. It was kinda insulting to everyone who lived in Virginia to be told how much better it is in Texas. She had a real lady boner for the place. Some of the stuff she claimed about Texas wasn’t true, like how the state could secede anytime it wanted and it’d probably be better off, but I didn’t challenge her because the bride is a really good friend of mine. It’s not her fault her mom was lying her lady Texas balls off about Texas.

But I don’t EVER want to hear anyone talk about how great Texas is ever again. Ever. For starters, look what they did to tacos. Then you have the lax environmental and safety regulations. Texans think it’s great to have fewer regulations, and it does attract more corporations to move to the state, but then you get shit factories exploding that kill 15 people. That’s nothing to brag about.

Texas is also the easiest place to buy a gun, and when a shooter kills 19 elementary students, two teachers, and his grandmother, the cowardly politicians talk about regulating the doors. Texas politicians like Governor Greg Abbott are too cowardly to even bring up the subject of making it harder to purchase an assault rifle in Texas.

And then you have fuckers like Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who’s been a cowardly sniveling MAGAt goon for a long time.

A process server attempted to serve Ken Paxton with a subpoena at his home this week. Lawyers in an abortion lawsuit had been attempting to serve it to him through his lawyers, but there were questions over whether his lawyers could accept it. Then, they tried to send it to his office but there were doubts about that too. So, a process server tried to deliver it straight to Paxton himself, at his home. Paxton was alerted that the process server was coming. What’d Paxton do? He hid. He hid behind his wife. It gets worse.

Ernesto Martin Herrera, the process server, knocked on Paxton’s door and saw the AG through the window coming to the door, and then turning around. Paxton’s wife, State Senator Angela Paxton, came to the door instead and said Ken was on the phone. So the process server attempted to wait it out. About an hour later, he saw Ken Paxton leaving his garage. When the server shouted his name, Paxton ran back inside the house.

A few minutes after that, Angela Paxton came out, opened the rear driver-side door of a truck in the driveway, got in the driver’s seat and started the truck. Herrera said, “A few minutes later I saw Mr. Paxton RAN (sic) from the door inside the garage towards the rear door behind the driver side.” Herrera added that Paxton ignored his calls that he was there to serve the attorney general legal documents. Herrera said he left the subpoena on the ground beside the truck but the couple drove off without taking it.

Paxton said that Herrera “was neither honest nor upfront about his intentions” and referenced the fact that many Texans own guns. “Given that this suspicious and erratic man charged me on my private property, he is lucky this situation did not escalate further or necessitate force.” So, Paxton threatened the scary Hispanic man. Nice.

But this doesn’t add up. Paxton knew a process server was coming. Why was he afraid of that? If it was so scary, then why did he have his wife answer the door? Why did he send his wife out first to start the truck for him to run out of the house and hop into while it was running?

If the situation was so dire, why didn’t Paxton call the police? Could there possibly be a bigger cowardly lying goon in Texas than Ken Paxton? Yes, there is. But we’ll get to him in a minute.

Paxton has a lot of legal troubles. He’s the subject of an FBI criminal probe into allegations of bribery, and in 2015, he was indicted and arrested on felony securities fraud charges, for which he has yet to go to trial. The Texas state bar has also brought a lawsuit against Paxton for misleading the U.S. Supreme Court in his suit seeking to challenge Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 election. Remember when Paxton, the Attorney General for Texas, tried to sue Pennsylvania to stop them from certifying President Biden’s victory in that state?

Paxton is up for reelection and despite being a coward, Texas voters will probably return him to office like they did with that other Texas coward, Ted Cruz. I told you we were getting to him.

Ted Cruz came out against Donald Trump in 2015. He called Trump a “sniveling lying coward” after Trump insulted his wife’s looks and accused his father of killing JFK. Today, Ted Cruz is a huge Trump sycophant.

When Texas was undergoing a deep freeze, Ted fled the state for warm and sunny Cancun. He immediately fled back to Texas after being called out, making sure to be seen wearing a face mask with the state flag on it as he disembarked from the plane. He soon manufactured a photo-op of him putting cases of water into car trunks. Ted later lied about his reasons for going to Cancun and blamed his two daughters. He tried to make himself into a father-of-the-year candidate by taking his poor daughters to Cancun after they asked for what he claimed was a class field trip, which it wasn’t.

There’s also the irony that Ted Cruz is opposed to immigrants coming to this nation to seek asylum when that’s exactly how his father got here, and the irony that he doesn’t want people seeking refuge in the United States from Mexico while he sought refuge in Mexico. There’s also the irony that he himself wasn’t born in the USA while he’s trying to keep other Hispanics from coming to the USA. What a sniveling lying two-face sanctimonious cheese-face coward.

And Texans keep supporting these goons.

Texans used to be represented by strong Texans from Sam Houson to Lyndon Johnson to Ann Richards. Now, they settle for Greg Abbott, Ken Paxton, and Ted Cruz. I assure you, Ken Paxton and Ted Cruz would have ran from getting their asses kicked by Ann Richards.

I was born in Texas, which makes me more Texan than Paxton (born in North Dakota) and Cruz (born in Canada) combined, and I would never hide behind women and children when in danger, like when someone wants to hand you a sheet of paper.

Texans can do better than Greg Abbott, Ken Paxton, and Ted Cruz…or can they? Texans, I don’t want to hear you talk about how great, strong, bad-ass, or independent Texas is ever again until you stop allowing cowards to represent you.

They say everything is bigger in Texas, and it’s true. No state has bigger cowards.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Coyote Ugly


Texas Governor Greg Abbott is busing migrants to New York City and Washington, D.C. These migrants entered the United States through the Texas border with Mexico. Greg Abbott is blaming President Joe Biden for “open borders” despite the fact that until recently, Biden’s border policy was the same as Donald Trump’s.

Abbott has sent over 9,000 migrants to New York City and Washington, DC since “Operation Lone Star” began. He said in an August 19 press release, “Busing migrants out of Texas is a way to provide much-needed relief to our overwhelmed border communities.”

And that press release was the only warning the sanctuary cities received, proving this isn’t about humanitarian relief or providing relief to Texas’ border communities. This is a political stunt for Abbott and he’s using human beings running for their lives as political props. While the migrants will certainly do better under NYC Mayor Eric Adams than under Greg Abbott, the use of refugees as pawns should be cited as a human rights violation.

Imagine you wanted to build your reputation through a political stunt, such as kicking puppies and stealing candy from babies. Who in the world would you be trying to appeal to with those horrible actions? Assholes. You’d be seeking the love and approval of assholes. This is exactly what Abbott is doing. He’s appealing to goons. How do you get assholes to like you? By becoming an asshole.

This is just how low the Republican Party has devolved. Republicans love this stunt by Abbott. It has several things they hate. Abbott blames Biden, so there’s one box checked. He’s getting rid of brown immigrants which checks another box. And, he’s sending them to liberal cities in the north. Check, checkity, checkity, check. The only way he could make a stronger appeal to the asshole demographic would be to bus woke vegetarian school teachers along with the cast of “A League of Their Own,” the TV series (it’s full of lesbians).

Another huge sign this is a stunt is the name, “Operation Lone Star,” which was chosen because “Operation Check out my Big Texas Penis” might have been slightly over the top and I believe “Operation Yee-Haw” has been used by now.

Another sign this is more of an asshole move than one of humanitarian relief is the fact Abbot didn’t give NYC or DC any warnings. Of course, not letting the liberal cities know thousands of migrants were coming until they arrived is another way to appeal to the asshole base. It’s really owning the libs, at the expense of migrants of course.

Sure, we all have a good time springing our kids on their grandparents now and then, especially after giving the toddlers Red Bulls, but you wouldn’t leave them there if grandma was going to eat them (my grandparents were worse. They made me watch Lawrence Welk). Here, Texas does not care about these migrants. They’re pawns to own the libs.

New York City and Washington, D.C. aren’t mad at the arrival of migrants because of who they are. They’re annoyed at the burden Texas is throwing on them. NYC and DC are already diverse places and they’ll be fine. Most of these migrants are amazing people, the kind of people you want in your neighborhood. Our diversity is our nation’s greatest strength which is something Republicans don’t understand.

But it’s still a dick move. Probably because Greg Abbott, like most Republican governors, is a dick.

Music note: I listened to The Eagles of Death Metal while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Open Border


There are a lot of fallacies that persist in this country, mostly due to Republican messaging. Republicans love spreading lies like Critical Race Theory is being taught, liberals are groomers, there’s something on Hunter Biden’s laptop, election fraud stole the election from Trump, the January 6 attack on the Capitol building was a protest, Tucker Carlson’s testicles have dropped, and there’s nothing dangerous about giving the nuclear code to a 300-pound orange toddler who has ketchup tantrums. But let’s focus on two that deal with immigration, and we’re not even going to talk about the lie that George Soros is paying for migrant caravans.

The first one is that immigration is the greatest threat facing this nation. It is not the greatest threat. It’s not even close. The greatest threats facing this nation are hate, division, false information, climate change, war on women and minorities, Ted Cruz, Rudy Giuliani farting on you, and Donald Trump trying to destroy democracy and install himself as an orange fascist dictator. I would rather see the combined populations of Guatemala, El Salvador, and Nicaragua pour over our border uninhibited than to see Donald Trump and Republicans destroy our Constitution and system where we electing our leaders instead of installing them by lynching the vice-president and pooping on walls in Congress.

The second one is that we have open borders. We do not have open borders despite Republicans like Texas Governor Greg Abbott constantly claiming we do. Fun fact: Republicans are racist liars.

Earlier this week, 53 immigrants were found dead in an abandoned tractor-trailer near San Antonio, Texas. These immigrants are victims of human smugglers, coyotes. Greg Abbott immediately blamed President Biden and his “open-border policy” for the deaths. Except, we don’t have open borders. We do not have any policies that open our borders. Hell, we even check out the Canadiens before we let them in. We learned our lesson with Nickelback.

We don’t have an open border policy. We have the direct opposite as a policy.

Fun fact: Just this week, the Supreme Court ruled in President Biden’s favor stating he can eliminate Title 42, a policy left by Donald Trump that prevented immigrants with asylum claims from entering the country. President Biden tried to end it last May but a federal judge, a Trump appointee in Louisiana, stopped him.

So, how do we have open borders while we literally have a policy that forces immigrants to stay in Mexico until a later time when we determine they can enter and request asylum? If the borders are open, then why are people being smuggled in the back in tractor-trailers? If our borders were open, then people would simply walk through them and not die horrible deaths by being abandoned in the back of a tractor-trailer in the sweltering June Texas heat.

Another detail to note is that these immigrants were smuggled in a tractor-trailer which means they traveled on a road that obviously went through a border checkpoint. That means Donald Trump’s racist border wall would not have prevented these humans from being smuggled. The wall wouldn’t have even been a factor. Donald Trump’s racist border wall is about as effective against trucks as it is against tunnels, submarines, and ladders.

Fun fact: The majority of drugs, guns, money, weapons, and humans who enter this nation illegally do so through checkpoints.

Last April, Abbott ordered state police to inspect every commercial vehicle entering Texas through a port of entry, saying the painful step was needed because the Biden administration was not doing its job to secure the border. This program lasted about three weeks because it was a stupid-ass Republican idea and it was costing Texas businesses billions. But it was Abbott’s Texas border through which these immigrants were smuggled.

But again, Title 42 is supposed to prevent people from entering our nation. But just like in the past, it’s Trump’s immigration policies that have forced people to risk their lives to enter the United States. Over 830 immigrants died trying to enter the United States during four horrifying years of Donald Trump’s immigration policies. Migrant children died in the custody of Trump’s ICE agency. Every immigrant who died trying to enter the nation to this point of Biden’s term should be credited to Donald Trump. Now, we can add 53 more.

Personally, I think Melania’s “I really don’t care, do you” jacket was borrowed from Trump’s immigration goon, Stephen Miller.

Funny thing about Title 42 is that it was created on the flimsy excuse it would prevent migrants from bringing COVID into our country. What’s funny about that is the same administration worried about migrants carrying COVID downplayed the seriousness of COVID to the point that it killed over 400,000 on Trump’s watch. Donald Trump told us it was going to magically disappear. Donald Trump called it a hoax before he caught it. Donald Trump politicized the hell out of COVID and pushed crackpot remedies, like Clorox enemas. Donald Trump made Dr. Anthony Fauci a bad guy for his efforts to combat COVID. Donald Trump and Republicans pushed against vaccine mandates, social distancing, wearing face masks, and closing businesses. The Trump regime went to extraordinary measures to play down COVID and make anyone working to eradicate it the enemy.

The Trump administration didn’t want vaccine mandates, Americans wearing masks, no businesses to close, and no social distancing because COVID was harmless…except when carried by a brown immigrant.

What’s a greater danger to this nation than people entering this nation illegally? Donald Trump and Republicans. MAGA is a national security risk.

I think we should stick every Republican claiming we have an open border to spend a few hours locked inside a tractor-trailer in Texas during July.

Music note: I listened to Queen for this one.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Abnormal Texas


I hope someday Texas evolves beyond the Republican Party because the diversity in that state grows on a daily basis while the GOP keeps regressing. And as far-right and as out of touch as national Republicans are, Texas Republicans are even worse. And I hope Texas outgrows the GOP before the GOP makes it illegal for nonwhites to vote, which they’re working on.

Texas Republicans are the Texas Taliban. Just like the Taliban, they want to control women, condemn homosexuality, and govern by religious dogma. Don’t believe me? Check out the new state party platform the Texas fucknuts devised over the weekend.

Texas Republicans had their convention over the weekend in Houston. Texas Republicans are so far right that they booed Texas Republicans. They booed their Senator, John Cornyn, for working with Democrats on gun legislation (that doesn’t even touch guns) and they booed Texas Republican congressman Dan Crenshaw.

Alex Stein is a conservative comedian which means he’s not funny. Case in point: He thinks calling a guy who lost an eye while fighting in a war who he perceives as being a RINO (Republican in name only) “Eyepatch McCain.” Maybe Stein isn’t that creative as he’s just repeating a nickname Tucker Carlson came up with, but Stein was there. Support our troops, eh, Republicans?

This is why conservatives make lousy comedians. They’re not funny and they don’t even understand they’re supposed to write their own material. C’mon, they’re not conservative political cartoonists.

There was a scuffle between Crenshaw’s security tean and Stein and his goons. Crenshaw later tweeted, “This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…” Damn. Crenshaw is funnier than the conservative comedian. I expect conservative comedian Stein to retort with, “Oh yeah? Well…you’re the one who can’t get a girlfriend. High five!”

But back to this platform. You’re going to love it never at all.

Among the proposals for the platform is that President Biden was NOT legitimately elected. Yes, they want to make their fucked-up conspiracy theories an official part of their platform. I’m shocked they’re not inserting shit into their platform about Hugo Chavez, Italian satellites, and bamboo ballots. Did I just give them some ideas?

They didn’t allow Log Cabin Republicans to have a booth at the convention as their platform is now declaring homosexuality an “abnormal lifestyle choice” while it’s not “abnormal” or a “choice.” The only thing I can see abnormal about gay Republicans is that they’re gay Republicans. Why the fuck do they want to be in a party that hates them? I don’t understand this the same way I don’t understand why any blacks would vote Republican.

I used to say the same thing about Republicans who claim to be patriots yet support a fascist movement until I realized they’re lying about the patriot part.

Other goodies in the new platform oppose efforts to classify carbon dioxide as a pollutant, repeal the 16th Amendment (which established the income tax), and bring prayer back into public schools, courthouses, and public buildings.

The platform supports abolishing abortion and recognizing life begins at fertilization before anything has entered the womb. It gets crazier. They want to mandate that Texas students “learn about the humanity of the preborn child,” in part by forcing students to listen to ultrasounds of gestating fetuses. That’s some real Taliban shit there.

The platform is also calling for ending the 1965 Voting Rights Act which Republicans nationally are doing anyway but calling it “voting integrity” in order not to say the racist quiet part out loud. In Texas, they say the racist quiet part out loud.

You can say this is just a bunch of crazy right-wing oppressive Texans who don’t represent any national movement, but I’ll retort with a “n’yuh-uh.” National Republicans are NOT condemning or speaking out against this platform. They’re going to sit back and see how well it goes over.

When Texas banned abortions and legalized posses to round up abortion doctors and anyone driving a woman to get an abortion, other Republican states started to follow their lead. Mississippi, Missouri, Florida, Oklahoma, Afghanistan, etc… They’re all following these goons.

And after the Supreme Court allows them to ban abortion, other states are going to ban abortion. What’s going to happen after the Supreme Court allows them to put prayer back in school, ignore pollution, repeal all taxes, ban gays, and finally, make it illegal for nonwhites to vote? Other yee-haw states will follow.

Republicans are racist. They have racist policies. They’re backward with women and gay rights. And they’re a bunch of religious zealots. This Texas Republican platform is the mood for the national Republican Party. It’s not that Texas Republicans are abnormal. All Republicans are abnormal.

Texas is just saying all the hateful and regressive parts out loud.

Music Note: I listened to a 90s alt mix while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Donuts and Do Nothing Nuts


A friend of mine who writes about cartoons and the issues they cover said everyone should basically hold their comments until we have certainty over what happened during the 90 minutes Texas police gave the Uvalde gunman free range to shoot elementary students. My friend wrote, “facts change.” Facts don’t change. What changes is what we know. What we know is that the Texas police who responded can’t get their story straight. What we are certain of is that the cops allowed a mass shooter 90 minutes to kill children.

The cops first said the gunman was confronted and shot at. Then they said he roamed around outside uninhibited for 12 minutes.

Governor Greg Abbott praised the “quick response” of “valiant local officials” who he said had engaged the gunman before he entered the school. He said cops “showed amazing courage by running toward gunfire,” which they did not do…at least for over an hour. Abbott showed “amazing courage” by pulling out of speaking at this weekend’s NRA gun party in Houston…three days after the shooting.

Eventually, it was a tactical unit of Border Patrol that went in and took out the killer who had murdered two teachers and 19 children. The police want us to know they’re traumatized by this. Texas Ranger Victor Escalon said, “we’re all hurting inside.” Sad face emoji.

According to the “official” timeline, at 11:28 AM Tuesday, the killer crashed the vehicle he stole from his grandmother after shooting her. The first emergency call came two minutes later as witnesses reported a man carrying a gun. The killer then shot at members of the public, roamed the school premises, and entered freely through an unlocked door at 11:40. Cops arrived four minutes after receiving the call…and sat around for 90 minutes.

I’m sorry. That’s not true. They did not sit around for 90 minutes. No, they spent that 90 minutes arresting and handcuffing parents outside who were demanding that the cops go into the elementary school and save their children. Seriously. The police has a SWAT team but they were too busy swatting parents.

While a gunman with an AR-15 was killing children, the cops chose to arrest their parents. Let that sink in.

Police initially said the officers were “inside making entry” and took cover after coming under heavy fire. This was revised on Thursday (two days later) by Mr. Texas Ranger Escalon. “They didn’t make entry immediately because of the gunfire they were receiving,” he said. That Chuck Norris Walker Texas Ranger show is full of shit.

Police also said the killer barricaded himself inside a classroom with teachers and students. They do not say what he used to barricade the doors, but they were NOT barricaded from entering the school. What objects are inside fourth-grade classrooms that can be used to create impenetrable barricades cops can’t break through? Whatever it is, I’m sure the NRA will use it to surround their Houston gun orgy this weekend, because no guns are getting in there.

Javier Cazares, whose daughter Jacklyn was killed in the attack, said “A lot of us were arguing with the police, ‘You all need to go in there. You all need to do your jobs’. Their response was, ‘We can’t do our jobs because you guys are interfering.'” Also, the parents weren’t shooting at them or had barricaded themselves behind a door with foot-tall wastebaskets.

Angeli Rose Gomez was arrested and handcuffed after jumping over the school fence to rescue her two children after police refused to. She said she saw one father thrown to the ground by an officer, another pepper-sprayed, and a third who was tasered. That is pretty much what you have to do to prevent good parents from saving their children from a mass shooter.

At this moment (while I write this), police are again revising their explanations and giving another press conference. These people are worse at giving honest answers than Ted Cruz disembarking a flight from Cancun.

And these cops’ response to a school shooting is almost as slow as the GOP’s. Maybe they too were waiting for instructions from the NRA.

Creative note: I changed this entire cartoon around after I started coloring. It originally had another point that consisted of two speech balloons from the children, and the labels on the cars were “cops.” But I then thought of what you’re seeing here and I felt it wasn’t just better, but a lot stronger. Despite starting around 7:30 AM, I was running late. And just as I started changing this cartoon around, a huge thunderstorm hit and created a brand new leak…right above my drawing table. So after lots of towels and lots of cursing, I was able to finally finish this cartoon and send it to my clients around 1 PM on a Friday. I was going to listen to some music while drawing but that didn’t happen. Did I mention there was lots of cursing?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Speedy Thoughts and Prayers


While drawing this cartoon, I was afraid Texas Senator Ted Cruz and Texas Governor Greg Abbott would pull out of speaking at this weekend’s NRA convention in Houston, because it would be the right thing to do after a mass shooting with an assault rifle killed 19 children in their state. But fortunately, at least for my cartoon, Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott NEVER do the right thing.

After 9/11, one of the major networks pulled an airing of the 90’s disaster movie, Independence Day. They figured after the entire nation witnessed planes flying into towers that their viewers weren’t in the mood to watch aliens blow up the White House, the Capitol building, the Statue of Liberty, and the entire cities of Washington, New York, and Los Angeles. Sometimes after a mass shooting, networks will pull or reschedule a gun-packed action movie. They often feel it’s insensitive and in poor taste to watch Sylvester Stallone shoot 97 people in the head which is the usual body count in any Rambo movie. It’s usually in poor taste to watch any Rambo movie at any time.

So, you would think the National Rifle Association would pull or reschedule their gun orgy party for later. You would think they’d realize that gun humping in the same state where 19 elementary students were massacred would be in poor taste. But, this is America and it’s hard to predict a location and a date when there won’t be a mass shooting. Also, Republicans don’t have taste.

It took national outrage for Ted Cruz to flee Acapulco, where he escaped when Texas got hit by a winter freeze that was wiping power out across the state and killing Texans. Even Ted Cruz realized him being in Acapulco was in poor taste…or someone told him. So, Ted quickly returned to Texas to pose for photo-ops of him helping Texans put bottled water in car trunks while wearing a Texas flag face mask. Yee-haw, Ted.

But good ole Ted and Greg will be in Houston this weekend kissing NRA ass for NRA dollars. It won’t matter if someone tells Ted it’s in poor taste because he is owned by the NRA. He has to be there. And if one of the speakers pulls out, or the convention is canceled, it would be admitting that guns had something to do with the slaughter in Uvalde.

The “American Pie” singer, Don McClean, was scheduled to perform at the convention but he has since canceled stating it would be “disrespectful.” But don’t worry as there will still be music goodness by Lee Greenwood who’ll sing that song white nationalists and MAGAts love to circle-jerk to, where he sings, “I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.” Shit. It’s in my brain! It’s in my brain!

In addition to Cruz, Abbott (who went to a fundraiser the night of the Uvalde massacre), Lee Greenwood, and circle-jerking racist MAGAts, Donald Trump’s going to be there too. Hmm, I wonder what they’ll talk about.

Will they have a moment of silence for the 21 victims of Uvalde? Will they offer responsible and real solutions to gun violence? Or, will they only offer thoughts and prayers? Of course, they won’t just offer thoughts and prayers, you cynical bastards. They’re going to offer a great big heaping pile of bullshit that’s not going to be helpful to anyone.

They’re going to blame the lack of mental healthcare even though they don’t want to increase funding for mental healthcare. They’re going to blame cancel culture. They’re going to blame liberals and Democrats. They’re going to blame transgenders. They’re going to blame the media and movies. They’re going to blame Twitter and Facebook. They’re going to blame Critical Race Theory. They’re going to blame Disney. They’re going to blame gay math books. They’re going to blame Planned Parenthood. They’re going to blame inflation and gas prices. They’re going to blame mail-in voting. They’re going to blame “globalists.” They’re going to blame immigration. They’re going to blame Joe Biden.

But they’re not going to blame the laws that allowed an 18-year-old to purchase two assault rifles. They’re not going to blame how easy it is in this nation to legally purchase an assault rifle. They’re going to rant against laws that increase background checks even though the majority of the nation supports them.

Most of all, they’re going to celebrate the 2nd Amendment which they believe states that every American can purchase as many killing machines as they can afford. They’ll celebrate the ability to purchase weapons that are created only to kill as many people as quickly as possible. They’re going to celebrate your constitutional right to purchase weapons designed to kill 19 children in a fourth-grade classroom.

And, they’re going to quote the 2nd Amendment while omitting the words “well regulated.”

They’re going to promote the idea that more guns in this country mean fewer mass shootings. They’re going to promote the idea that every teacher should be armed with a gun. They’re going to promote the “good guy with a gun” concept, that every room in this nation should be packed with people who are packing.

And they’re going to do it in a room they’ve designated as a gun-free zone.

Music note: I listened to Tito & Tarantula while coloring this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Oppression With The Fringe On Top


It’s happening again. Another state is destroying women’s constitutional reproductive rights.

When one backward knuckle-dragging fucknut red state succeeds in destroying a freedom, then other backward fucknut states follow the lead.

Texas basically banned abortion, made it a criminal offense, and created a bounty-hunting business for anyone to report on a person receiving or giving an abortion. Yee-haw, motherfuckers.

Oklahoma, another yee-haw state, has copied Texas’ abortion restriction laws and has made ANY abortion illegal except to save the life of the pregnant woman. The governor has promised to sign every piece of legislation limiting abortion that reaches his desk. The new law would make performing an abortion or attempting to perform the procedure a felony punishable by a maximum fine of $100,000 or a maximum of 10 years in state prison, or both.  There’s another bill in progress that copies Texas’ bounty-hunter law.

With the bounty-hunter laws, you can report a person for receiving an abortion in Oklahoma and Texas, even if you don’t know that person and the abortion doesn’t affect you in any way. This law, allowing you to report and cash in on something that doesn’t affect you and isn’t your business, isn’t surprising when you realize most of the people who’ve been trying to destroy abortion rights don’t have a uterus.

I guarantee you this: If men could give birth, there would have been abortion pills in vending machines before we even thought about eradicating Polio. Cavemen would have invented the pill, and then the vending machines before they got around to the wheel and sliced bread. We wouldn’t even be talking about abortion except in sex-ed classes where students would have free condoms thrown at them. In Florida, Ron DeSantis would be teaching how to put a condom on a banana to kindergartners. Abortion would be as common as clipping your fingernails. And then if one religious zealot said out loud, “maybe there should be a few restrictions on abortion. I mean, doesn’t the fetus have rights? Isn’t it a person? Isn’t it…” He wouldn’t have finished that sentence because an angry mob would have beaten him to death with sticks, stones, and condom-wrapped bananas

There would be horror movies directed by men about men being forced to carry an abortion to term. That’s scarier than Jason Vorhees and Freddy Krueger riding into your bedroom on Jaws to a soundtrack provided by Nickelback.

But since men can’t get pregnant, they’re creating laws that will force rape victims to have their rapist’s babies. They’re forcing teenage girls to have their uncle’s babies.

Last Wednesday, Missouri Republicans passed a bill that allows family members to file wrongful death lawsuits. They’re banning “abortion-inducing drugs,” and defunding Planned Parenthood.

Federal Medicaid law protects every Medicaid patient’s right to choose their provider including Planned Parenthood. This does not fund abortions. There are other health treatments provided by Planned Parenthood like birth control, STI testing and treatment, cancer screenings, and other preventive services. But conservative men don’t care about those treatments as it doesn’t affect them. Other states that have “defunded” Planned Parenthood are Arkansas, Mississippi, and Texas. In Missouri, a state court said they can’t do this, but the legislature has ignored that ruling. This will also surely hit the 6-3 conservative majority Supreme Court.

The Democratic governor of Kentucky just vetoed an abortion-banning bill, but the Republicans will probably override it next week. In Maryland, the Republican governor VETOED a bill expanding abortion, but the Democratic majority in the state legislature overrode him.

Colorado, a blue state surrounded by abortion-restricting yee-haw states, signed a bill last week codifying abortion rights. The bill states, “The Reproductive Health Equity Act states that “every individual has a fundamental right to make decisions about the individual’s reproductive health care, including the fundamental right to use or refuse contraception; a pregnant individual has a fundamental right to continue a pregnancy and give birth or to have an abortion and to make decisions about how to exercise that right; and a fertilized egg, embryo, or fetus does not have independent or derivative rights under the laws of the state.” It also bans local governments from restricting abortion, like towns and counties in the district that sent Lauren Boebert to Congress.

Nebraska failed by two votes to advance a “trigger” bill that would have made abortion illegal immediately after Roe Vs. Wade is struck down by the Supreme Court because that’s exactly what Republicans are expecting.

The Supreme Court has allowed new abortion restrictions to stand in places like Texas, Mississippi, and Alabama. Republicans are chomping at the bit for a case to go before the Supreme Court that will finally give them the opportunity to ban abortions nationwide. I expect that to happen too. The pro-freedom people are all about banning freedom.

I think if we ban abortions then we need to also ban Viagra and all other erectile dysfunction medication. I researched this and I believe it’s a fact that nearly all abortions are created with the help of a penis. I’m also pretty sure every Republican male writing these abortion laws loves his penis and needs medication for his penis to work. It would explain why they’re so frustrated and angry.

I am being funny but I’m always funny when I’m serious. Democrats in each of these states need to try to attach riders to these bills that ban penis pills. Sure, they won’t survive but it’ll make a very loud point. The point will be that Republican men are totally opposed to their private parts being legislated. I can not wait to hear Ted Cruz give a passionate speech about dick rights.

Or at the very least, Democrats in these state legislatures should craft bills banning Taliban laws. Have fun with that.

My advice to women who live in yee-haw states is…move.

Music note: I listened to some Bob Seger last night while taking a walk and it got good to me. So I started listening to it again while drawing today and then it got very tired. Classic rock does that to me. I’ll go a long time without listening to an artist, and it’ll be good when I finally do…and then it’s too much and it’ll be like four years at least before I listen to another Bob Seger song. So, I switched over to Blondie who was nearby in the B’s. Yeah, that’s classic rock too, but it’s weird so it’s still fresh to me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Texas Being Texas


Cjones10272021

It’s bad enough Texas is going to continue to gerrymander its congressional districts, but it’s even worse they’re stealing it from minority voters.

Texas has gained two new seats in Congress thanks to its population growth…of non-white people. What will Texas do with these two new seats gained from a population explosion from over the past decade, half of which is from Latinos? Gerrymander the fuck out of them to make sure they’re both seated by white Republicans.

Texas isn’t the only red state adding to its congressional delegation, Florida, North Carolina, and Montana are each gaining one new seat each. Blue states losing seats are California (losing two), New York (losing one because people wouldn’t answer the census), and Michigan, Illinois, and Pennsylvania (one each). West Virginia and Ohio, both states that went for Trump, are losing one each while liberal Oregon and Colorado are both gaining one apiece. Red states are coming out ahead, but not because there are more Republicans.

These new seats arrive at a horrible time for minorities and people who aren’t fucknuts as this is the first time Texas can redistrict without oversight from the Department of Justice. For years, southern states needed the Justice Department to approve redistricting because in the past, well, they were pretty racist with it. Now that they don’t need federal oversight making sure they’re not a bunch of racist fucks anymore, they get to going back to racist gerrymandering like racist fucks. Who made this possible? A conservative-majority Supreme Court did in 2013.

Texas will use its population growth, thanks in large parts to Latinos, to increase Republican representation. Texas is on its way to becoming a blue state as the non-white population outnumbers the white. But just like Republicans nationwide, Texas plans to cheat.

Not only will Texas gerrymander these districts to make sure white people have and gain the most representation, they’re doing everything they can to make it harder for non-white people to vote. This will help keep a conservative Supreme Court even when the majority of the nation is voting liberal.

Florida’s new seat is made possible by a large increase in its Puerto Rican population. What will the Republicans, who control the state, do with this new seat? They’ll draw new congressional district map that look more like a Jackson Pollock painting than any region of the state, and give it to white voters.

Republicans cheat and lie. They steal votes, they steal Supreme Court seats, they steal legislative districts, and they steal congressional districts.

People, and I’m looking at you Virginia, you have to vote and you have to answer your census. Because Republicans do.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Texas Teachings


Cjones10202021

To be fair, no public schools in Texas are teaching that the Holocaust is a hoax. They only tried to teach that the Holocaust is a hoax.

During a training session in a North Texas school district on what books should be in classrooms and libraries, one administration official said they should have books on opposing views on the Holocaust. Gina Peddy, executive director of curriculum and instruction for the Carroll Independent School District, said that if there are going to be books on the Holocaust, then they need to follow a new Texas law mandating (thought they outlawed mandates) educators to present multiple perspectives when discussing “widely debated and currently controversial” issues.

Peddy is on a recording telling teachers and administrators, “Just try to remember the concepts of [House Bill] 3979, and make sure that if you have a book on the Holocaust that you have one that has an opposing, that has other perspectives.”

So, in Texas the Holocaust is “widely debated” and “controversial?” Also, since the Holocaust is fact, how are there opposing views to a fact? And, if the Holocaust is a viewpoint, then the opposing viewpoint is that it never happened? Seriously, Texas…why are you the Taliban?

A few years ago, I was invited to submit a cartoon on Donald Trump to an international contest. Stupid me didn’t look into it and went ahead and sent a cartoon. Only after I placed in the contest did I discover it was conducted by the Iranian government that had previously used a cartoon contest to promote Holocaust denial. I rejected the award along with my fellow American colleague Ed Wexler, who was also snookered into submitting. My point is, now I have to watch out for contests from Iran and Texas. Hey, do you remember when Texas had a Draw-Muhammad contest?

But just like not every Republican is a racist Trump cultist sycophant (there are at least two who are not), not everyone in Texas is a Holocaust denier (I’m looking at Nick Anderson). When Peddy brought up the mandate to have Holocaust denial bullshit in schools, one teacher asked, “How do you oppose the Holocaust?” She probably meant, how does somebody deny the Holocaust happened? I mean, we all oppose the Holocaust, right? Well, maybe not Gina Peddy. She replied to the question, “Believe me, that’s come up.” Where? Where the hell does Peddy hang out that holocaust denial comes up?

The law signed by Texas Governor Greg Abbott was to prevent Critical Race Theory and anything “gay” being taught in public schools, or if something slipped through (like it’s wrong to set trans people on fire), then the school needed opposing lessons. Last year, a fourth-grade student brought home a book from Johnson Elementary (in the Peddy district) titled “This Book is Anti-Racist.” Well, the kid’s parents didn’t think anti-racism should be taught to their child and they complained. The school removed the book and planned to give the teacher a tongue lashing until someone pointed out that lashing with your tongue might be gay.

So, what is an appropriate age to teach anti-racism? In Texas, it’s probably never. Look at Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz. They ain’t learned nothing yet except how to gaslight. If the letter of the new law is followed, there needs to be opposing education to the racist border wall these fucknuts want built. It needs to be taught that it’s racist, useless, and too damn expensive. Hopefully, Ted doesn’t bail to Cancun, ironically, in Mexico, during the lesson. If anything should be learned here, if dumbass Ted Cruz can figure out how to get over a wall, then immigrants aren’t going to have any problems with it.

Meanwhile, the teacher with the anti-racism book was scolded and disciplined. And the administrator who proposed teaching Holocaust denial, they probably gave her a gift card to Applebee’s. What they should do is send her to the National Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC.

But here’s the thing, kids: If you’re not teaching about systemic racism in this nation, or even that the Civil War was fought over slavery, isn’t that like teaching Holocaust denial…or at the very least, not teaching it happened at all? Texas standards adopted in 2010 teach that slavery was among the third causes of the Civil War. Pat Hardy, a Republican member of the State Board of Education, said slavery was a “side issue” of the Civil War. He said the war was over “states’ rights.” Someone please teach Mr. Hardy that in Texas’ Declaration of Secession from the United States mentioned slavery as the cause, not once, not twice, not even three times, but 21 one freaking times. It was also mentioned as the cause in the declarations from South Carolina, Mississippi, and Georgia.

Also, the vice president of the Confederacy, Alexander Stevens, said the only cause of secession was slavery. He said, “The general opinion of the men of that day [Revolutionary Period] was, that, somehow or other, in the order of Providence, the institution [slavery] would be evanescent and pass away […] Our new Government is founded upon exactly the opposite ideas; its foundations are laid, its cornerstone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery, subordination to the superior race, is his natural and normal condition.”

Read the part again that states, “Our new government is founded.” If you’re a Texas Republican, read it three times. If you’re Ted Cruz, have someone read it to you.

Despite the availability and access to the fact the Civil War was over slavery, a 2015 McClatchy-Marist poll said 42 percent of Americans say it wasn’t. And, 37 percent of Americans say slavery shouldn’t be taught in schools as the reason for the Civil War. So in addition to Holocaust denial in this nation, we have slavery denial and people want that shit taught. And how bad is Holocaust denial…or even ignorance?

In September, 2020, a study commissioned by Jewish Material Claims Against Germany, found that one in ten people under the age of 40 had never heard the word “Holocaust.” Oh, it gets worse. The study found that 63 percent didn’t know six million Jews were killed by the Nazis in the Holocaust. Over half the respondents thought the number Jews murdered was under two million. Over half also couldn’t name one concentration camp despite there being over 40,000 of them. I can’t name all 40,000, but I can name at least one.

The survey also found that seven percent don’t know if the Holocaust happened, three percent say it never happened, and 11 percent believe Jews caused the Holocaust.

This survey proves the Holocaust should be taught in schools and fourth grade is probably not too early. While we’re on the Holocaust, we do need to teach more about black history and systemic racism. If these kids and young adults are that ignorant of the Holocaust, then how ignorant are they on racism? Black kids will eventually learn about systemic racism as they experience it because it’s still here. White kids will have the privilege of never knowing if they don’t want to know.

The Holocaust isn’t ignored in schools in places like Qatar, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and probably in Afghanistan, if the new Taliban government plans to have schools. They’re actively teaching Holocaust denial. Now, a school administrator in Texas is literally proposing that Holocaust denial be taught in her state. A Texas school administrator wants Texas to implement anti-Semitic curriculums. Texas has already approved books that label slaves as “immigrants” and “workers.” Maybe there’s one that’ll call them “prisoners with jobs.”

Texas quickly hit the brakes on the proposal to teach Holocaust denial, but for how long? Texas is already teaching ignorance in its schools. It also makes you wonder what’s being taught in Texas’ private schools. Did White Jesus fight at the Alamo? “Hand me another round of ammo, Santa. These Mexicans are really good at getting over this wall!”

Texas Republicans have been pushing extremism in their state. The governor has banned vaccine mandates. They’re anti-face masks. They’ve outlawed abortion. Eventually, they’ll probably bring back scarlet letters and force women to wear hijabs. Texas Republicans have earned the nickname “Texas Taliban.” And when you start teaching Holocaust denial, it’s not a nickname anymore.

You are the Texas Taliban.

Now, if we start rumors Holocaust denial is being taught in schools, like there are rumors Critical Race Theory is being taught even though it’s not, will parents start bum-rushing school board meetings demanding that they stop?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FOUR copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Yee-Hawing For Nassar


Cjones09192021

Testifying before Congress, one of Larry Nassar’s victims described him as more of a pedophile than a doctor. Since the FBI helped cover it up, what does that make them? One of his victims testified that an FBI agent tried to convince her that being raped wasn’t a big deal. Was that FBI agent from Texas?

The next question here is: When will criminal charges be filed against FBI agents?

Sorry, I don’t have time for a real long juicy blog today. I have another deadline and I’m really stressed out. Weep for me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: