SCOTUS

Supreme Fail


cjones12132020

They do like to do everything bigger in Texas. With their lawsuit trying to overturn an American election and throw out democracy, Texas got the biggest humiliation from the Supreme Court ever when they got their suit thrown out late yesterday afternoon.

Their lawsuit was the biggest fraud. It was the biggest attempt to subvert American democracy. It was the biggest vote steal attempt in American history. It was the biggest suck-up to a cult leader in history. It was the biggest grab for fascism in our nation’s history. Way to go, Texas. You are the biggest loser…other than Trump, of course.

The lawsuit wasn’t just flawed on legal grounds. It was stupid. Lawyers and legal experts lose lawsuits all the time but here, we have 19 state attorneys general who were wrong to even bring this suit, to support it, to champion it, to even believe in it. Over 120 House Republicans signed onto this. A lot of them are lawyers. They’re lawmakers. How do they explain being so wrong? How do they explain being a part of something so botched and moronic? How do they explain seeking to destroy democracy?

The Orlando Sentinel endorsed Republican Michael Waltz. This week, they retracted their endorsement stating they had no idea, no way of knowing at the time that Waltz would not be “committed to democracy.” They also attacked Waltz and the other Republican House members for joining the Trump lawsuit citing their “cowardly betrayal” and willingness to “undo 231 years of election tradition and norms so their guy, Donald Trump, can have another four years in office.”

They lost an election and they’re trying to overturn it. They’re trying to throw out the legal votes of over 20 million voters. They’re trying to steal an election. They’re trying to turn the presidency into a monarchy. They’re trying to turn our democracy into a fascist state. All of that…is wrong.

This suit was ridiculous. One argument was that no candidate has ever won the presidency without winning Ohio and Florida. That argument is as sound as no NFL team has ever won the Super Bowl with a bird logo on their helmet (that used to be true), so the Eagles, Seahawks, or Atlanta Falcons could never win a Super Bowl. That’s only true for the Falcons. The Trump argument is only a peculiar note for political analysts and political scientists to obsess over. And…it’s not even true. Richard Nixon won the White House while losing Ohio and Florida. You would think these lawyers, especially an attorney general, would fucking look that up before making it part of his lawsuit. You would think an attorney general would understand it’s NOT a legal argument.

Also, just because something’s never happened before doesn’t mean it won’t. Back in 1992, critics told Bill Clinton no one has ever won the presidency after losing the New Hampshire primary. Back in 2016, we also noted this nation has never before elected a racist Oompa-Loompa.

The lawsuit included the claim, “The probability of former Vice President Biden winning the popular vote in the four Defendant States — Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin — independently given President Trump’s early lead in those States as of 3 a.m. on November 4, 2020, is less than one in a quadrillion, or 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000.”

That spread like wildfire on Facebook and even Kayleigh McEnany, who has a history of lying, being wrong, and making stupid statements, repeated it. The fact is, it’s wrong.

The fact is: Donald Trump was never in the lead in those states. While it looked like he had the lead because officials counted same-day ballots and Trump regions first, mail-in and absentee ballots were there the entire time. You should not be surprised when mail-in, absentee, and votes from urban areas are counted last and go to the Democratic candidate. Those people tend to be educated voters. They tend to go Democratic. If you want it explained fully why the argument is wrong, go to Politifact, which does a great job summing it up.

Kayleigh McEnany may as well argue that Joe Biden only had one chance in a bazillion, frillion, schillion, kajillions, fudgezillion, walla-falla-ding-dongzillion, diggity-doggityzillion, Kelly Clarksonzillion.

Donald Trump has made a LOT of dumbass arguments since losing the election. One of my favorites is the “bookies” argument. The what?

A few days ago, Trump tweeted, “At 10 p.m. on Election Evening, we were at 97% win with the so-called ‘bookies.'” What?

This casino-failure doesn’t just think right-wing farty lawyers, Qanon fucknuts, or Vladimir Putin should decide the election. He thinks it should be given to the bookies. And, again he’s wrong.

At 10:00 p.m. on election night, oddsmakers said Trump’s chances of victory were at 74.2%. Oddschecker.com, which I didn’t know was a thing until now, tweeted at Trump, “Seeing as we’re the experts in this, here’s the truth. Just after midnight your odds implied a 69% chance you’d win.”

Was Donald Trump looking at bookie websites on election night?

But let’s take Trump’s argument seriously for a second. Ha. I know. But anyway…based on his reasoning, his victory over Hillary Clinton was a fraud. Oddsmakers, political analysts, so-called experts, and even me, predicted she would win in 2016. Those same people, including me, predicted Joe Biden would win in 2020. Why bother with elections when we can just go with the oddsmakers…or me? In 2024, I predict the winner of the presidential race will be…Kelly Clarkson.

The Electoral College will meet Monday and the 538 electors will choose the next president of the United States. That will be Joe Biden. Expect some Republican shenanigans to occur. On January 6, 2021, each vote is cast in Congress. Each state is called alphabetically and that state’s Certificate of Vote is announced and recorded. When they are finished, the vice-president, Mike Pence, will announce the results and the winner. Watching Pence have to announce that Joe Biden won is going to be a money moment on TV. He’ll probably mumble it or flat-out refuse to say it. Expect Republican shenanigans and bullshit because they’re pretty much out of options at this point…other than just a simple old-fashioned third-world banana-republic military coup.

When you look at the lawsuit, you realize everyone supporting it is too stupid to be in elected office. Unfortunately, there’s a shitload of them remaining as attorneys generals in 18 states and over 100 of them in Congress. Look at Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, Gym Jordan, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, or Marco Rubio. We elect a lot of spineless, hypocritical stupid fucks to office.

The good news is: Donald Trump, who is too stupid to hold political office, will not have one after January 20.

That’s because Donald Trump is a loser. If you don’t believe me, ask the Supreme Court.

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Grim SCOTUS


cjones11292020

The biggest takeaway from the Supreme Court’s ruling that churches in New York can remain open, because placing restrictions on them is infringing upon their Constitutionally-protected religious freedom, is where the court will be years from now.

The court ruled on similar cases just a few months ago, and ruled 5-4, with Chief Justice John Roberts joining the liberals, that the government can place restrictions on churches. On Wednesday night, it was another 5-4 ruling, this time in favor of the churches and again, with Roberts joining the liberals.

The big takeaway here is that Amy Coney Barrett was the vote putting it over the top. The last time the court voted on this, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was on the court and actually understood the case.

The argument here is that New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, was being harder on churches than places like retail businesses. But the thing is, it’s not the same.

You don’t go to a grocery store to spend two hours parking your ass in one spot. You do that in church. It’s not comparable. The churches are complaining that Cuomo is singling them out for their religion.

Nobody cares about your religion other than to protect it. I don’t care if you go to mass for seven hours every night, dance in circles with snakes while speaking in tongues. You do you. But, I do care if you go to church and bring back your virus to the grocery store. Do you understand how that works? No?

Neither do five members of the Supreme Court.

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Tipsy For Trump


cjones10312020

There is nothing in the Constitution that says every vote must be counted on Election Day. In fact, there’s nothing in the Constitution that says every vote must be delivered by Election Day.

For years, military and mail-in ballots have arrived AFTER Election Day. Now, late ballots are an issue. Now, every vote won’t count. Why? Because once again, the Republicans are trying to steal an election. Again, Republicans are cheating.

Mitch McConnell said new Supreme Court justice Amy Coney Barrett will be a “political asset” during the election. So are the other two Trump appointees. The Supreme Court voted this week to reject ballots if they don’t arrive at a time that’s convenient for Donald Trump.

The vote wasn’t about being late or election security. It wasn’t about democracy. It wasn’t about every vote counting. It was about rejecting votes that will go against Donald Trump.

For months, Donald Trump has been screaming that we should stop counting after Election Day. He’s wailed that any votes arriving after shouldn’t be counted. He’s even said it should be illegal. Since when?

The Supreme Court ruled that late-arriving ballots in Wisconsin are not to be accepted. Why? Because it would be inconvenient to “flip” an election. This majority opinion, representing FIVE Supreme Court justices, was written by Trump appointee Brett Kavanaugh who’s totally trying to rape this election.

Kavanaugh wrote wrote that Election Day mail-in deadlines were devised “to avoid the chaos and suspicions of impropriety that can ensue if thousands of absentee ballots flow in after Election Day and potentially flip the results of an election.”

The Constitution does not guarantee a chaos-free election. So basically, we shouldn’t give the election to the rightful winner if it causes “chaos.” We should give the election to the person who received fewer votes because giving it to the rightful winner may cause some anxiety. Someone may get a rumbly tummy.

Dumbass with the bad haircut also wrote, “Those states also want to be able to definitively announce the results of the election on election night, or as soon as possible thereafter.” That sounds familiar. It’s like I’ve heard that stupid-ass argument before, but louder and shouted at a super-spreader event.

Hours before the ruling, Donald Trump tweeted election officials “must have final total on November 3rd,” alleging without evidence that there are “big problems” with mail-in ballots. Twitter later labeled that tweet bullshit, but Brett Kavanaugh didn’t.

Kavanaugh let Trump’s idiotic tweet guide his writing hand. If you don’t have all the ballots, then you don’t call the election. How can you “flip” an election that hasn’t been called yet? And this was the argument for the majority…the smartest legal minds in the nation? I call bullshit on that too.

There is another case involving late ballots in Pennsylvania that will be ruled on by this Republican “political asset” we call the “Supreme Court.” And Donald Trump said he wants a nine-member court for when he challenges the election, pretty much admitting he expects to lose.

Donald Trump will rightly lose this election but he may not leave the White House…ever. Not if Brett Kavanaugh and the other Trump flunkies have any say about it.

It should also be noted this shitty ruling was BEFORE Amy Coney Barrett was placed on the bench.

Justice Elena Kagan wrote the dissenting opinion saying, “There are no results to ‘flip’ until all valid votes are counted.”

She also wrote, “Nothing could be more suspicious or improper than refusing to tally votes once the clock strikes 12 on election night. To suggest otherwise, especially in these fractious times, is to disserve the electoral process.”

Kagan is right but Republicans, the Conservative majority, and Donald Trump doesn’t care about “disserving” the electoral process. It’s their very intention.

Over 70 million people have already voted with a large majority of them being Democratic voters. How many will be thrown out because of this corrupt Supreme Court?

Kavanaugh, Barrett, Gorsuch and the rest of the majority will disservice the electoral process because they’re all in service to Donald Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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Scary Amy


cjones10292020

Chief Justice John Roberts once lashed out at Donald Trump saying there are no Republican or Democratic judges. He may want to send that memo to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

After confirming the right-wing troglodytes’ darling, Amy Coney Barrett, to the Supreme Court last night, Moscow Mitch said, “I think this nominee will be a political asset for our candidates around the country. Not a liability, but an asset.”

This is just one of the reasons they rushed her confirmation. One was to help them win the election. The second reason is because without her, they can’t win the election. If the Republicans waited for an election on this pick like they said Democrats had to wait in 2016, this seat would have been nominated by Joe Biden.

Keep in mind, this is the party that screams the loudest about legislating from the bench. Unable to destroy Obamacare in the legislative branch, Republicans are counting on the Supreme Court to do that legislating for them. The best part of all is, after SCOTUS kills Obamacare, they don’t have to even pretend to have a replacement for it.

And a “political asset?” How’s that? Because if this election ends up in the Supreme Court, where the conservative majority just cut into voting rights in Wisconsin, Amy Coney Barrett will help them steal the White House for Donald Trump.

In 2016, the GOP was assisted by Russians. This time, Russians and the Supreme Court.

Many are wondering if Barrett will recuse herself if the election winds up in the Supreme Court. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Hell no! Amy Coney Barrett, just like Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh before her, is not an ethical person. If she was, she would have faced an ethical dilemma about being confirmed eight days before the election. She will not have any moral dilemma about voting in favor for the man who put her on the court for the rest of her life.

And that man can’t even hire his White House staff well. How many of those people did he have to fire? How many have spoken out against him? The guy who is on his third marriage can’t even pick a wife to spend the rest of his life with, but hey…let’s give him THREE lifetime appointments to the highest court in the land.

Barrett had no ethical dilemma about being placed on the court eight days before an election by the same goons who said four years ago that nine months was too soon. Amy Coney Barrett did not have a problem with being nominated by an impeached president who was supported by Russia. Amy Coney Barrett once argued that only conservative justices should replace conservative justices. She did not refuse a nomination to replace a liberal justice. Morals? Amy Coney Barrett? No.

The Republican argument about giving the people a voice is total bunk. Five of the nine justices on the bench were nominated by presidents who lost the popular vote. Barrett was placed on the court by a Republican Senate that the majority of Americans voted against. More Americans are represented by Democrats in the Senate than by Republicans…yet Republicans are getting all the appointments.

On top of all that, Amy Coney Barrett is the worst kind of person to put on the Supreme Court for a progressive nation. She’s a member of a religious cult that promotes women’s subservience to men. And you wonder how she’ll vote for Donald Trump, the guy who appointed her?

If you’re outraged by this, good. You should be outraged by Republican hypocrisy. You should still be outraged by the Republicans stealing a seat from President Obama. You should be outraged that they changed the rules so all three of Trump’s nominees could get on the bench with a slim majority. You should be outraged that a whiny, rapey, drunk crybaby like Brett Kavanaugh got on the court. You should be outraged a corrupt racist treasonous fuck like Donald Trump got three nominations. You should be outraged that same fuck has put over 200 judges on federal benches.

These are Republicans judges who will legislate from the bench and help Republicans steal elections. Despite stealing and changing the rules, the GOP still sucks at legislating. Now, their Republican justices will attack abortion rights, LGBTQ rights, civil rights, voting rights, fair elections, freedom of speech, gay marriage, healthcare, women rights, gun safety, etc.

Joe Biden will win the election but he may not get to the White House. Now, liberals have another stumbling block. But if he does make it, Republicans are worried he’ll pack the court. I think Joe Biden make the GOP a proposal.

President Joe Biden should call for the resignations of Amy Coney Barrett, Neil Gorsuch, and Brett Kavanaugh. Every federal judge nominated by Trump should step down. Donald Trump is an illegitimate president. Illegitimate presidents should NOT make lifetime appointments. And if these justices don’t resign, then Joe Biden should pack the court. Pack away, baby, pack away.

How much do you want to bet if Donald Trump “wins” that the GOP packs the Supreme Court?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Religious Test Bigotry


cjones10172020

Don’t take my word for it that Republicans are going to lose in November. Take theirs.

Republicans know they’re going to lose the Senate (even South Carolina is competitive. South Carolina!). They’re going to lose the White House. There is no chance they can retake Congress.

Republicans know the will of the American people is against them. The majority of the nation rejects Republicanism and Trumpism. In the past 32 years, they’ve only won the popular vote in a presidential election…ONCE. In 2018, Senate Democratic candidates received 12 million more votes than Republican candidates. And despite the will of this nation being against Republicans, they control the White House, the Senate, and will soon have six out of nine justices on the Supreme Court which will rule for decades. Do you think that’s fucked up? Good, because it’s fucked up.

Republicans know the majority of America doesn’t like them. They know the more educated and informed Americans are, they more likely they’ll vote against their policies because their policies are stupid, racist, and regressive. “Make America great again” means make America go backwards. And that’s why they’re ramming through the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett.

Nine months was the time between Merrick Garland’s nomination to the Supreme Court and the election in 2016, yet Republicans wouldn’t even discuss it. There were no hearings. Republican senators refused to even meet with the man. There are 21 days between now and election day and yesterday, Republicans began hearings for Amy Coney Barrett.

Is it because she’s so qualified? No. While I don’t believe she’s a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging moron, she doesn’t have much experience. She’s been a judge, not just a federal judge…but a judge period for less than four years. Does she need to be rammed through because of her excellent judgement? Well, she judged that all seven of her children could attend a White House super-spreader event without wearing face masks or engaging in social distancing. Should we ram her through because she’s a person who stands by her word and has exemplary principles? I don’t know because she once said only conservatives should replace conservative justices and vice versa for liberals. Today, she’s a conservative nominee replacing Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

And should we ram her through because of her independence and free will? No because she’s in a cult. Literally. She is in a religious cult.

Republicans scream that Democrats shouldn’t exercise “religious bigotry” over her. I disagree. Exercise that shit. She’s in a cult. She’s going to be on the bench for decades. We have a right to know if she’s going to rule like the Handmaid’s Tale. It’s fair to ask if she’s going to enact her religious beliefs when it comes to abortion, health coverage for all Americans, guns, birth control, gay marriage, or force every unwed woman in the nation to wear a chastity belt, and if they screw around, a scarlet letter.

Yesterday, I observed an exchange between a conservative cartoonist and a liberal cartoonist. I merely observed…for once. The conservative was upset with the liberal’s cartoon on Donald Trump’s nominee and said his work “smacked” of religious bigotry. The conservative asked, “What would you have drawn had she been a devout Muslim or an Orthodox Jew?” My question to him would be, “What would you have drawn?”.

Let’s be honest. If a Democratic president nominated a Muslim female, the GOP would freak out. For example, look at what they’ve done with Ilhan Omar, and she’s a Congresswoman. Donald Trump has accused her of coming to “our” nation after messing up her birth nation of Somalia, never mind the fact she left Somalia when she was eight. They’ve accused her of supporting terrorists and of being a terrorist. They’ve yelled, “Send her back.” Republicans have said, “How dare she tell us how to run ‘our’ country,” forgetting the fact she was elected to tell us how to run our country. Never mind the fact that our country is also her country. They’ve even accused her of marrying her brother. Seriously. And if we take Donald Trump’s track record of hypocrisy into account, we should investigate to see if Melania is his sister.

So yeah. I’m sure Republicans wouldn’t exercise any religious bigotry if a Muslim was nominated to the Supreme Court…or any court for that matter. And just how many Muslims are currently occupying federal courts in the United States of America? Zero. Zip. Nada. Nil. Zilch. None.

There are no Muslims on any of our nation’s federal courts. And yet, Republicans are clutching their pearls by people asking a religious zealot who’s a member of a literal cult that literally tells women to be submissive to their men, if her faith will play a part in her decisions.

I have two great ideas: First, let’s nominate nothing but atheists. They won’t be influenced by some backwards dogma while also respecting religious freedom because that also protects our right to not have any faith.

My second great idea is to stop these proceedings because ramming this confirmation of Amy Coney Barret to the Supreme Court is a joke leading to a tragedy.

This is a lifetime appointment. By ramming it through, Republicans are showing they don’t respect that. They don’t respect the American people. They say the American people should decide who puts these judges on the courts but by ramming this through within 22 days shows that Republicans are afraid of what the American people will decide.

And has Amy Coney Barrett said, “Hey, let’s wait until after the election.”? Of course not. Because just like everyone else Donald Trump has nominated, she doesn’t have any principles. She can not wait to get on the Supreme Court and take away your health insurance and to outlaw abortion. Hell, Justices Thomas and Alito are salivating at the chance to outlaw gay marriage.

The real irony here is that after she gets on the court and helps install Donald Trump president for life, there will no longer be a Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Chasing Amy


cjones09302020

How tacky can Republicans be? Well, being a party that’s headed by the likes of Donald Trump, we may never know just how low they can go.

We know they lie. We know they keep moving the goal post. We know they don’t play with any fairness or principles. We know they’re hypocrites. But yesterday, they nominated Amy Coney Barrett for the Supreme Court and Ruth Bader Ginsburg hasn’t even been buried yet.

Donald Trump read Barrett’s resume off the teleprompter yesterday, but do you believe he’s actually familiar with anything other than the oath she’s taken to Trump?

Donald Trump nominated who Mitch McConnell told him to nominate. But you know during their meetings, the man who can’t shut up about winning Michigan, talked about the upcoming election. He has openly told the press he wants another justice in place for the election. He’s said the only way he can lose is if there is massive fraud. So, when Donald Trump loses, and he will, he’s going to fight it all the way to the Supreme Court where if he has his way, Amy Coney Barrett will be waiting to affirm the loyalty oath she took to Trump.

I can’t believe Amy Coney Barrett wasn’t asked by Trump for her loyalty to him. I can’t believe, since she was nominated, that she didn’t pledge it.

While Donald Trump read off her resume, the only detail of his new nominee is that she’ll save his ass. He won’t stop talking about it. Donald Trump believes he will lose the election, but he doesn’t believe he’s leaving the White Houes.

Donald Trump can’t become a dictator all by himself. He needs the right people in place. He has the Senate, the Justice Department, and the State Department on board. What he doesn’t have is the Supreme Court. That pesky John Roberts keeps voting his conscience. But after having three justices, two of them being stolen, the court will be a Trump court. Basically, the Supreme Court will now have about as much credibility as a lousy TV reality show.

Donald Trump is a goon. In case you haven’t noticed by all the indictments, goons hangs out with other goons. And despite her impressive credentials, Amy Coney Barrett, just like Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh, doesn’t mind being nominated by a racist grifter beholden to Russia who praises Nazis. Barrett doesn’t mind being nominated by an impeached president. she doesn’t mind being nominated by a guy who brags about grabbing pussy and spying on naked teenagers. By agreeing to replace RBG after saying a justice shouldn’t be replaced by one with different viewpoints, she’s showing she doesn’t really have principles. Yesterday, Amy Coney Barrett became a goon.

And in case you forgot, she’s already in one cult. Welcome to the other. Amy Coney Barrett, welcome to the cult of Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Amy’s Cult


cjones09262020

Amy Coney Barrett is a a judge for the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals based in Chicago and the current darling of the right-wing frenzy-feeding evangelical fucknut base. And if this is who they want, Donald Trump will give her to them. Hell, he was literally polling the crowd at one of his hate rallies this week.

Donald Trump is expected to announce Coney Barrett this Saturday, but who knows. Maybe he’ll surprise us and find someone even worse, but I doubt it. His base wanted her before he named Kavanaugh…but Trump needed white men first. But right now, his base wants Coney Barrett.

Why do they want Coney Barrett? They expect her to be the final vote banning abortions, killing Obamacare, making birth control illegal, outlawing gay marriage, and forcing every woman in the nation to wear a chastity belt.

Naturally, a conservative of this caliber is religious. She’s not just religious and a Catholic…she’s in a cult. Which makes me ask, can a person be in two cults?

Amy Coney Barrett is a member of the People of Praise, which is described as a “charismatic Christian parachurch organization.” I’m not sure I understand what that is, so I needed to research it. Unfortunately, I made the not smart decision to read about it before I went to bed last night. What followed next… were nightmares.

No, a person should not be persecuted for his or her religion but if an atheist were to be nominated to the Supreme Court, I bet one scarlet letter Republicans would be screaming bloody murder. As it turns out, Coney Barrett is in a cult that inspired…wait for it because it’s goooooooooood… The Handmaid’s Tale.

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood is a dystopian novel about subjugated women in a patriarchal society. The cult Amy’s in has advisers assigned to each person. Male advisers are called “Heads” and the female advisers were called…wait for it again… “Handmaids.” They changed it to “Leaders” after the novel came out. It’s similar to why Donald Trump doesn’t call his secret goons infiltrating our cities as “stormtroopers.”

In Atwood’s novel, women’s bodies are governed and treated as the property of the state under a theocratic regime. In Amy’s cult, members are taught that men have authority over their wives. Members swear a lifelong loyalty oath to each other, which is already like marriage…or a Trump rally. But former members of the “organization” say that the “heads” and “handmaidens” can play a huge role in the lives of members, such as directing their choice of partner, where they live, and how they raise children.

One former member says you’ll be reported if you’re caught drinking alcohol, dating the wrong person, or even for expressing a sexual thought they find disturbing (which is odd since they don’t have a problem with a man saying he’d probably be dating his daughter if they weren’t related), For these dirty thoughts, you can be banished, which to me sounds like something you would want. Please. Banish me.

Another former member said that People of Praise believes that only married couples should have sex, and that marriage is only between a man and a woman. That’s fine. You can believe that…but I don’t want a Supreme Court Justice decided that for me and the rest of the nation.

That’s exactly what Republicans want. They’re in the minority of views. What they want, the majority of the nation doesn’t. They demand a larger chunk of representation than the rest of America which is why they love the electoral college. They know the majority of American people don’t want another fucknut on the bench and if they wait until after the election, then they won’t be able to do it…so they’re rushing now. The Republican Party expects to be rejected by the American people in November and they will lose the White House and Senate. But, they’ll be able to take comfort in the fact they forced as much as they could upon us.

The Supreme Court already has a majority that doesn’t represent the nation. The Supreme Court isn’t just in the wrong decade, but the wrong century.

Amy Coney Barrett will be on the highest court in the land making rulings about your life…your body. She’ll sit on cases involving healthcare, abortion, birth control, gay marriage, civil rights, etc. It’s not good.

And now you know why I had nightmares last night. The Handmaid’s Tale is a dystopian nightmare of a fictional autocratic society. The author, Margaret Atwood, sat on the book for three years because she thought the concept was just too crazy. It’s kinda like when The Simpsons did episodes back in the 1990s of Donald Trump being president because the idea of a Trump presidency was too crazy and ridiculous. Now, he’s making lifetime appointments to the Supreme Court. Now it’s our nightmare.

Two questions for Amy Coney Barrett: Are you in a cult? And, did you have to take a loyalty oath to either?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Republican Hypocrites


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“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”

That was Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2016 after the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia left a vacancy. If you were unsure if McConnell was full of shit then, today’s actions by him and his GOP colleagues confirms it.

The Republican argument in having a new position is that now, the president (sic) and Senate are of the same party. But, that doesn’t change the fact there is an election in 43 days. That doesn’t change the fact we can have a new president and even a new Senate in January.

The fact of the matter is, Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, and the Republican Party don’t care about being hypocrites. They never had integrity or a sense of fairness. The only reason they bark out some stupid bullshit about the president (sic) and Senate being the same party now, something they didn’t stipulate in 2016, is because they need some bullshit. I mean, they can’t just come out and say it’s a power grab and they don’t care. They can’t admit they’re hypocrites.

If they had to, they’d create some new crap like there’s a exception for a president with a bad combover.

McConnell was on Sean Hannity’s show fairly recently where Hannity praised Trump for being so much better than President Obama at nominating judges. McConnell actually corrected him and said Obama was good at nominating, but that he, McConnell, was good at blocking them. Then McConnell let out a sick giggle.

Republicans don’t care about decency, fairness, or integrity. They definitely don’t care about the Constitution. And hey, when it’s all said and done, the court may not matter if we’re in a fascist system.

But, they’re rushing to fill this seat because the argument they clung to in 2016 may be true this year. Donald Trump may be rejected by the American people again, but this time, tossed out of office. The United States Senate may be in Democratic control. The fact the Republicans are forcing this vote on a new justice, before the election or the end of the year, is because it’s a power grab. It’s because they’re afraid the people will have a say.

In fact, a new poll shows that 62 percent of Americans want the confirmation to wait. Maybe America feels kinda weird about an impeached president making lifetime appointments to the highest court in the nation.

When McConnell made the statement about Americans having a say in their next Supreme Court Justice, he said, “THEIR” Supreme Court Justice. He was momentarily correct in that the seat belongs to us, not to the Republican or Democratic Party. They’re playing politics with our lives for the next forty years. In a few months, their politics may mean an end to legal abortion. It may mean an end to healthcare coverage for millions of Americans.

I can change my positions too. I was against adding new seats to the court. Now, I’m for it. If the Republicans are going to steal seats from Democrats and refuse to play by their own rules, and a stupid, racist president who is a tool of Russia can’t nominate anyone who can garner 60 votes, then let’s do some power grabbing of our own. Increase the number of seats and while we’re at it, let’s make Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico states. That’ll give Democrats four more Senate seats.

What’s good for the goose is good for the hypocritical gander.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Notorious


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Check out the merch for this cartoon.

In 2016, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, said, “The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”

McConnell was talking about the vacancy created by the death of Justice Antonin Scalia. There were nine months to go before the next election, but damned if he was going to do his constitutional duty and vote on the the president’s SCOTUS nominee. He didn’t even give Merrick Garland, the nominee, a hearing.

Now, with the passing of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and with a mere 45 days until the next election, McConnell is determined to hold a vote for Donald Trump’s nominee.

The American people did have a voice in Scalia’s replacement as they elected President Obama for eight full years, not seven years and one month. In fact, President Obama won the popular vote both times. When McConnell stole that nomination from President Obama, he gave it to a man the majority of the nation rejected.

Now, McConnell’s argument to vote on RBG’s replacement is that the American public elected Trump and his agenda (like they did for Obama…but they didn’t actually for Trump), and then they not only kept Republicans in charge of the Senate in 2018, they also increased their majority.

The thing is though, the American people wanted Democrats to control the Senate. Democratic senate candidates received 12 million more votes than Republican senate candidates. Unfortunately, we allot two senators per state. That means 40 million Californians only have two U.S. senators, while 40 million other Americans (from 22 states) have 44 senators. Fair? No, which brings us back to McConnell, that lying, sleazy, squirmy, wormy Moscow sonofabitch.

McConnell doesn’t care if he’s a hypocrite. He doesn’t care that he fails to meet his own requirement as the American people rejected Trump in 2016 and 2018. They’ll reject him again in 2020. In the past four years, two justices were placed on the court the majority of the nation didn’t want.

McConnell says the American people should have a voice in the next selection. Then do it. Use your voice. Shout that worm down.

I am a hard core radical when it comes to Trump’s court nominees. Since Donald Trump wasn’t elected and was aided by a foreign nation…and helped during this election, which he asked for because he’s a criminal…then I believe every single one of his nominees should be tossed, impeached, removed, sent home, cut off, no pensions, unemployable, set adrift on a raft to find an island somewhere…just get out of here. Hey, it’s not like I’m suggesting we set them on fire.

God speed, RBG. She served her nation well and in a historic fashion. Just like the stellar Thurgood Marshall was replaced with a wingnut like Clarence Thomas, who didn’t deserve to stand in Marshall’s shadow less enough take his seat, I’m certain Donald Trump and McConnell will replace RBG with a fucknut of their one who pales in comparison.

Can the GOP replace RBG before the election? Doubtful. But they can do it before Joe Biden is sworn in.

When Republicans stole the nomination from President Obama, they dared us to hold them to their word. Now, they’re all like, “word?”.

Republicans like McConnell and Trump don’t care about being hypocrites. They don’t care about being honest. They don’t care about the Constitution. But know this: We never have to believe anything they ever say ever again. Not that we weren’t already doing that.

If you’re down and depressed over this, I can’t make you feel better; I am distraught, too. The shitweasels are having their way over the will of the rest of the nation.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Learning From Trump


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When Donald Trump says, “Believe me,” it means he’s telling a lie. When Donald Trump says something is “beautiful,” it means it’s a train wrecking into a mountain of shit on fire. When Donald Trump says, “It will be like nothing anyone has ever seen,” that means you’ve seen it. And when Donald Trump says, “No one ever knew that before,” it means he just found out.
Donald Trump once told us Abraham Lincoln is a Republican and that “not a lot of people knew that.” I think everyone learns that by the second grade. He learned of Frederick Douglass and told us, “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.” I think he confused Frederick Douglass with Ben Carson. Now, Donald Trump is telling us he made Juneteenth famous.
Let’s be fair here. Maybe he did make more Americans aware of Juneteenth. Of course, I’m only talking about white Americans.  Donald Trump probably only became aware of Harriet Tubman after she was scheduled to replace his favorite racist president, Andrew Jackson, on the $20 bill, which he halted.
In case you’re playing catch-up, Juneteenth is recognized by black Americans as a holiday though it’s not a federal one. Soon, it will be. Either next year or in four. It’s a holiday because that’s when slaves in Texas found out about the Emancipation Proclamation and that they were free citizens. Of course, when they found this out, it was two years after the fact. Yes, our nation is racist and the fact this is not a holiday, in addition to Donald Trump being president (sic), proves that.
Donald Trump took credit for educating Americans about Juneteenth. Of course, that means he just found out about it and in an interview, he asked aides in the room if they were aware. A black Secret Service agent was aware and a white aide was too because she remembered the press release the White House issued for it in 2019. Donald Trump did not remember that. He was all like, we did that? For a black holiday? Quick…someone get me a $20.
If anyone learned of Juneteenth because of Donald Trump, it was inadvertent. Donald Trump did not set out to educate America about a piece of black American history, or as some people will call it, American history.
Did I know of Juneteenth before this year? Yes, I did. But in my defense, I’m smarter than most people. Just kidding. I was aware because I have to read stuff. I don’t consider it an accomplishment that I knew this as I’m kind of supposed to. I haven’t read a novel in five years but I have heard of Juneteenth. I will give you this, I had never heard this much discussion about it.
Now, one thing I did learn more about was the Tulsa race riot. I had heard of it before but not all the details. I had heard of Black Wall Street too.
But, someone at the Trump campaign knew about all this and it’s why they scheduled the rally on Juneteenth for Tulsa, which is in a very red state and where Donald Trump doesn’t need to rally (Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Florida, North Carolina would have each made more sense). Having the rally in Tulsa on Juneteenth was as much of a racist dog whistle as when Donald Trump talked last night about “heritage” and “kung flu.”
In addition to Juneteenth and the Tulsa race riot…and that Donald Trump and Brad Parscale can be easily outwitted by teenagers, we learned some other stuff last week. But maybe we learned more from John Bolton.
We learned of Chinese concentration camps for Muslims and that Donald Trump approved of them.
We learned Finland is in Russia but I hope you already knew that. Maybe Putin told Trump Finland was a part of Russia because Russia invaded Finland back in World War II (which put Finland, a Democracy even at that time, on the side of the Axis with Hitler even though all they did wrong was be next to Russia).
We learned that maybe the Supreme Court hates Trump. At least that’s what Trump claimed after SCOTUS ruled people can’t lose their jobs for being LGBTQ and in favor of DACA. We already knew Obama was a better president.
We learned England is a nuclear power. Well, I knew that. The other nuclear powers are the U.S, Russia, France, China, North Korea, Pakistan, India, and shhhhh, it’s a secret, Israel. But learning Donald Trump didn’t know this isn’t a surprise as he didn’t know the differences between England, the United Kingdom, and Britain. This guy didn’t know about the nuclear triad.
We learned Trump will ask China to help his reelection but that’s not a surprise as he’s already asked Russia and Ukraine. Who else has he asked? I’ll bet you a chicken chimichanga under a mountain of cheesy chili there are more.
We learned Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump and will risk his supporters’ lives to hear an applause. Well, most of us already knew that too.
We learned about racist babies. What? Babies can’t be racist. What happened here is, Donald Trump took a loving video that made everyone in the world go, “dawwwwwwwwwwwwwww” while making a goofy face, of two toddlers, one black and the other white, running toward each other for a huge hug. It was adorable. Trump, took that video and made it appear as though it was a CNN broadcast of the white baby chasing the black baby with the tag, “racist baby probably a Trump supporter.” How fucking vile is that? One thing we didn’t learn is that Donald Trump is a low-life piece of crap. The families of the toddlers were highly upset and Twitter and Facebook removed it…eventually.
Trump also had a tweet removed from Facebook for using a Nazi symbol. A lot of people weren’t aware of that symbol but they are now. Haven’t seen it? I put it on the airplane in my last cartoon.
Donald Trump is appalling, evil, vile, gross, and disgusting. We already knew that. We also know he’s a fucking moron.
Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.