Trump

Crazy Uncle Time


CNN11222020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I drew this cartoon before Sidney Powell was fired as Trump’s lawyer…from which they claim she was never his lawyer…or the campaign’s lawyer. Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t retreaded the coffee fetcher line yet. Yet.

There’s a LOT of speculation which crazy shit she said that got her ditched by the crazy folks. This is like the team of Misfit Toys…if the Misfit Toys were stupid and racist. I mean, dear God, Rudy is still a part of the team. This guy sweats oil during press conferences…and conducts them next to dildo shops. So, what did poor crazy lunatic Sidney say that got her shitcanned? Good question and let’s explore.

Rudy has pushed debunked conspiracy theory after debunked conspiracy theory yet, he remains on the team that now says Sidney Powell was never a part of it or ever a legal representative for Donald Trump. You know the team that Donald Trump said included Sidney Powell. The team that Rudy said he was leading with Sidney Powell. The team that held a press conference last week that gave Sidney Powell speaking time at the podium with Rudy standing and sweating black goop behind her. So what’d Sidney say that got her ditched?

Was it her claim that Donald Trump won the election in a “landslide?” As preposterous and ludicrous as that claim is, no. That didn’t get her fired. Donald Trump liked that claim.

Was it her claim that George Soros was a part of the group stealing the election? Nah. Donald Trump has claimed George Soros was funding immigrant caravans even as he said he didn’t have any proof. He wouldn’t care about Sidney blaming Soros. Also, Soros is Jewish. Unless they’re Jared or Israel, Trump doesn’t like Jews.

Was it her claim the election was being stolen by globalists? Of course not. Donald Trump is anti-Semitic. See paragraph above. He retweets Nazis and once tweeted an image of bags of cash and a bunch of Stars of David.

Was it the crazy shit that the Clinton Foundation was stealing the election from Trump? No. Donald Trump has spouted his own lies about the Clintons and their foundation…while he was stealing from his foundation.

Was it the claim the deceased Hugo Chavez designed the voting systems and it’s all a communist plot from nations like Venezuela, Cuba, and China (but not communist North Korea)? No. It’s just another crazy conspiracy theory. Rudy has those. Trump began his political career with dumber ones.

Was it her claim that voting machines changed votes from Trump into votes for Biden? Nope. Rudy has made that same claim…and so has Trump.

Was it her claim that Brian Kemp, the governor of Georgia and a long-time Trump supporter helped steal the election for Joe Biden? Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

The thing is, Kemp is a Trump supporter. A very loyal Trump supporter. If anything, he’s worked diligently to disenfranchise black voters in Georgia to help Republicans. He’s on Trump’s side. And, there are two Senate runoffs in January in Georgia. A lot of Republicans are already pissed at the GOP establishment because the Georgia secretary of state, a Republican, did his job and counted more votes for Joe Biden than for Trump. Some Republicans are actually threatening to boycott the election after Georgia went blue for Biden. I just like typing that. Georgia went blue for Biden. I’m done.

The other thing is, Sidney was being criticized by Republicans. Chris Christie and Iowa Senator Joni Ernst went after her. Republicans aren’t going after Rudy which you think they would.

Finally, Tucker Carlson went after her…and she went after him. Tucker is another MAGAt. She said Tucker was rude. She might as well had left a bag of burning turds on Sean Hannity’s doorstep…which is probably a common thing, so she’d have to write her name on the bag.

She wasn’t ditched for being ridiculous. This president (sic) hires ridiculous people to be his spokesgoons (Spicer, Huckasans, McEnany). Rudy is ridiculous except Rudy has been a Trump friend for decades and has pissed away his legacy and reputation for Trump. Also, Rudy’s not a woman. He has a penis. If you don’t believe me, ask his cousinwife.

Goodbye, Sidney. Thank you for lasting long enough for me to get a couple cartoons out of you. Let me know if you’ll be back. I have a lot of ink for crazy nut cases like you, you fun lunatic.

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Trump’s Legal Brains


cjones11242020

If you want an idea of how nutzoid Trump election-stealing lawyer Sidney Powell is, take this in: Tucker Carlson can’t support her arguments…and Tucker has had shows about UFOs.

Tucker Carlson wants to believe in Sidney Powell. He said that he’s “always respected her work” and he’s holding out hope that she’ll provide evidence that thousands of votes were moved from Trump to Biden, which didn’t happen. Tucker is still stupid enough to hold out hope that election fraud occurred.

Do you understand that? Trump supporters are HOPING that our election was rigged and democracy failed. Do you know why? Because it’ll justify their stealing of an election. But right now, they don’t have any evidence or anything that supports their argument that Donald Trump won the election. Do you know why? Because Donald Trump did NOT win the election. Donald Trump lost and Joe Biden will be sworn in as president on January 20, 2021.

Sidney Powell is a Qanon-supporting nut. She has retweeted their theories on multiple occasions. She’s been a guest on Qanon’s YouTube show. Yes, they have a YouTube show. She’s Michael Flynn’s lawyer and now she’s arguing Donald Trump’s case that he won the election despite the fact he didn’t.

Sidney, along with Rudy Giuliani, suck. If they’re your legal team, you’re in trouble. I mean, you might as well invite Republican state legislatures to the White House and beg them to defy their constituents, break the law, invalidate votes, and just give you their state’s electors. Actually, Donald Trump did that yesterday.

Meanwhile, Powell and Giuliani are running around saying the election was stolen, Trump “won in a landslide,” And that it was manipulated by George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, and the deceased Hugo Chavez. At least Sidney’s hair dye isn’t running down her face.

Sidney Powell says she didn’t provide evidence to Tucker because he was rude. How about to the rest of us, Sidney? Their defenders are saying Trump’s legal team is holding their evidence for court…but they’re not using it in court. In fact, they keep having their cases thrown out of courts.

And while Trump’s legal team is arguing at press conferences outside dildo stores that massive voter fraud stole the election, when they’re in court, they’re saying there wasn’t any voter fraud.

So, if you don’t believe me that there was not any massive voter fraud, then take it from Trump’s stupid legal team. They’re telling you one thing and they’re telling judges something else. The judges aren’t buying it, but if you’re a Trump supporter, it’s a good thing for Trump that you’re stupid enough to buy it.

Trump’s legal team’s argument is even losing Fox News, who desperately wants to believe them. I guess this means during the Joe Biden era, Sidney Powell won’t have her own show on Fox. There’s always that Qanon YouTube channel…or Trump TV.

It’s hard for Donald Trump to hire capable lawyers because good lawyers don’t want to argue conspiracy theories in court. Crazy lawyers will though. And Donald Trump has cornered the market on crazy and hiring lunatics…even if the lunatics at Fox are losing hope.

Wanna know what’s even crazier than Sidney Powell saying Trump won in a landslide and blaming Hugo Chavez? 70% of Republicans believe her.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Loser


cjones11232020

Donald Trump’s catch phrase from his fake reality show was “you’re fired.” He loves to present himself as a heavy-handed boss in total control with absolute authority. He fears nothing. In reality, he sends goons and henchmen to do his firing…when he’s not firing people over Twitter. Why does he do it this way? Because he’s a coward.

Donald Trump is more of an assortment of terrible personality traits than he is a human being. He’s racist, narcissistic, sexist, selfish, corrupt, stupid, clueless, immature, and a coward. He’s also ugly with a combover and orange goop on his face and wants to date his daughter. Find all that on a Hallmark card.

He didn’t fire James Comey to his face. In fact, he made sure Comey was out of town when he was fired. The same went for Rex Tillerson, who was on a plane…and according to some reports, on a toilet. He had one person fired because he testified against him…then had the witnesses’ brother fired because he looked like him. And since the election, Donald Trump has gone on a firing spree.

Donald Trump claimed he’d hire the “best people.” Actually, his administration has probably set a record for the number of former officials who have spoken out against it. And when he fires someone, their replacement is usually worse. Much worse. Was Mike Pompeo an improvement over Rex Tillerson? Who could have imagined Donald Trump could find a worse Attorney General, William Barr, than Jeff Sessions? You have to give it to Donald Trump. He’s really good at finding the worst possible people to put in the absolute worst places.

The people Donald Trump has fired since the election haven’t been dismissed because they’re not good at their jobs. No, they’ve been fired because they aren’t deemed sycophantic enough. To work for Donald Trump, you don’t have to actually be good at your job. You either have to be a total sycophant like Mike Pence, or his daughter. Tell me she has a clue about anything that’s going on.

Since the election, Donald Trump has fired 12 people. There will be more. On that list are Department of Homeland Security officials Bryan Ware and Valerie Boyd. He fired Defense Department’s chief of staff, Jen Stewart on November 10. Also on November 10 were the Pentagon’s undersecretary of defense Joseph Kernan, a retired Navy SEAL, and the Pentagon’s top policy official James Anderson, who both officially resigned but we know they were forced out.

He fired Secretary of Defense, Mark Esper, who publicly disagreed with Trump’s teargassing protesters for a photo-op. Three other Pentagon firings occurred shortly after.

Also “not fired” was The head of the Department of Justice’s election crime branch Richard Pilger, who quit in protest over William Barr using the agency to enable Donald Trump’s conspiracy theories regarding election fraud.

Trump fired Lisa Gordon-Hagerty, the administrator of the National Nuclear Security Administration; Bonne Glick, the deputy administrator of the U.S. agency for International Development; and Neil Chatterjee, the chairman of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission. They were all nerds.

Speaking of nerds, Trump fired Michael Kuperberg, the scientist who oversees climate change for the U.S. Global Change Research Program and will be replaced with a science skeptic.

This week, he fired Chris Krebs, the director of the Department of Homeland Security’s Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency after his agency released a statement refuting Trump’s claims of widespread voter fraud. In fact, the statement said this election was the “most secure in our nation’s history.” Trump fired him along with a response to the “most secure” statement, saying, “was not!”.

Mark Esper says his replacement will be a “real yes man, and then God help us. Fortunately, the “yes man” will only be on the job until January.

Trump is expected to fire Gina Haspel, the director of the CIA and possibly Christopher Wray, the director of the FBI. The director of the FBI usually serves a ten-year term. Donald Trump is on his second.

Trump isn’t just firing people who hurt his feelings or don’t support his crackpot bullshit, but people who may stand in the way of him stealing this election from the American public.

We knew before Donald Trump was placed in power in 2016 that he’s a horrible person and unfit for the office. But everything he’s done since the election, putting himself before the nation and willing to destroy to seek revenge, is another confirmation that he doesn’t belong. Trump’s actions are reassurances America made the right choice in selecting Joe Biden over him. America, you were right to fire Donald Trump. Good job.

Donald Trump lost the election. He’s a one-term president (sic). He’s a loser. And there’s no amount of firings that will change any of that. Right now, he’s firing people because he got fired.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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He’s Melting


cjones11222020

This is a bonus cartoon I drew on Thursday evening.

Rudy held a press conference where he claimed Joe Biden only won because of massive voter fraud, and blamed it on George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, the deceased Hugo Chavez, the nation of Venezuela, a communist plot, and backed it all up by referencing the film “My Cousin Vinny.”

Then his face started running. What? Whatever goop he used to dye the remaining strands of hair on his head started running. Maybe he shopped at the same spray-on-hair as Stephen Miller.

In Rudy’s defense though, “My Cousin Vinny” is a really good movie.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Deep-State Voter Fraud


cjones11212020

What’s dumber than believing Donald Trump won the election or that there’s a deep-state cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic lizard people running the government? Believing you can trust Donald Trump to work out a fair payment AFTER you perform a service for him.

Donald Trump has been sued numerous times by contractors for refusing to pay the price he agreed to in a contract. He’s even been sued by the lawyers who represented him in these disputes for non payments. So now Rudy Giuliani is publicly embarrassing himself for a price to be determined later.

Rudy is Trump’s lead legal fucknut in trying to steal the election from Joe Biden. In doing so, he has to present a case of total bullshit and conspiracy theories. Yesterday, Rudy argued a case in Pennsylvania and told the judge he wasn’t accusing anyone of voter fraud…and then blamed it all on voter fraud. He must have thought he was on Hannity.

There are reports that Rudy is charging $20,000 a day to represent Donald Trump in this attempt to steal the election. Rudy says those reports are lies…and you know how we can always trust Rudy to tell the truth. Rudy says they’ll work out a price after they’re done stealing the election and Donald Trump begins his second term.

Is Donald Trump stupid? Yes, he is, but he’s not dumb enough to pay Rudy $20,000 a day of his own money. His supporters are paying Rudy.

There’s only one thing dumber than voting for Donald Trump and that’s giving money to elect Donald Trump. His grifting is on public record. He publicly cried for an international summit to be given to one of his shitty golf resorts. A court has barred him and three of his shitty kids from participating with any charitable organizations in New York state because he stole from his own charity. Most people would go to prison for something like that. As president (sic), Donald Trump has directed millions of dollars of taxpayer money into his businesses. On top of all that, his campaign conducts events at his resorts where the Trump Campaign pays a fee to Donald Trump.

Giving money to support Donald Trump is like buying a new watch for the guy who stole your watch. So if you’re still giving money to the Trump Campaign, you’re giving it to Donald Trump. And if you’re dumb enough to give Trump money…are you dumb enough to believe a second Trump term will be saved by Rudy Giuliani, the guy who got scammed by Borat?

Part of this entire bullshit propaganda of Trump really winning the election and having it stolen by Democrats is to steal the election from Joe Biden. Another reason is to destroy faith in the government that takes over in January and make Joe Biden fail. But perhaps the greatest reason for this scam is that the Trump Campaign is still raising money for it.

But this time, it’s not going to a legal fight as much as it’s paying off campaign debt…and going into Donald Trump’s pockets. Maybe Trump will put the cash into his secret Chinese bank account or maybe he’ll put it towards the $500 million or so he owes to shady mystery creditors (probably Russians). Or maybe he’ll band use to pay off a real lawyer to help Rudy out the next time he tries to lure a teenage girl into a Manhattan hotel room supposedly for drinks while his hand is down his pants.

What’s almost just as crazy as believing Donald Trump will pay you later…or that Rudy Giuliani should lead your legal defense, is believing the election was stolen from Donald Trump.

70% of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election and it’s being stolen by Democrats. And just like they didn’t have proof when a majority believed President Obama was born in Kenya, they don’t have any proof of massive voter fraud.

But hey, Republicans don’t need proof for bullshit. Ask Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, or Donald Trump. And now with members of Qanon actually being elected to the United States Congress, anything goes.

Republicans don’t have any relationship with the truth. At this time, only four Republican senators have accepted that Joe Biden has won the election. Two Republicans senators are screaming for the secretary of state of Georgia to resign because he counted more votes for Biden than for Trump. Another senator has called the same secretary of state suggesting he throw out votes for Biden. You know, votes cast by black people.

Republicans don’t have integrity, don’t care about democracy, and don’t care about the truth. Don’t believe me? Let’s go grab dinner at Comet Pizza and ask them about it. Actually, I’m joking. I’d never have dinner with a Republican. I can’t eat while looking at you people.

Here’s a fact: Donald Trump will not be president after noon on January 20, 2021. Why? Because of the fact Joe Biden beat his ass in the presidential election. Donald Trump lost the election fair and square and there’s not enough Rudy bullshit in the world to change that fact.

Here’s an unfortunate fact: All these idiots who would rather believe in conspiracy theories about voter fraud, lizard people, devil worshippers, or Democratic pedophilic pizza makers, will still be around after Donald Trump is gone.

Another fun fact: Fuck COVID. I’m not going anywhere either.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Goodbye, Jerk


cjones11182020

Right now, Donald Trump is in the denial stage. He believes he’s won the election and it was stolen from him. But even Hitler in his bunker at some point realized the Soviets were knocking on his door and the war was lost.

Is Trump’s denial greater than Hitler’s? Donald Trump doesn’t even have evidence to base his “stolen election” argument on. Even his lawyers have had to admit that in court as they watch their cases get thrown out.

There is no plausible way for Donald Trump to win the election. He would have to get votes he doesn’t have, that don’t exist, to overturn multiple states where his margin of defeat is greater than his 2016 margin of victory. He would have to overturn an election in a state run by Republicans…where the votes were counted by Republicans. The last grasp for Donald Trump will be to convince Republican legislatures to violate their own state laws and give him their electors.

Donald Trump is in such denial that he’s put Rudy Giuliani in charge of his fraudulent case of election stealing. He’s put a sycophant in charge of stealing the election. The entire hopes of the Trump administration rests on the mind and skills of the guy who confused Four Seasons Hotel for Four Seasons Landscaping and held a press conferences next to a dildo store. Donald Trump has put all his faith into the guy who was tricked by Borat. I hope Rudy gets his own show on Trump TV.

A more likely outcome will be Donald Trump waddling out of the White House with his pants around his ankles and his arms with as much stuff as he can grift out of the White House…then spending the rest of his life tweeting that he’s still president.

As many people on social media have said, “Melania ‘be best’ packing.” But what all will Donald Trump pack. What will he grift from the government in his final weeks, days, hours? Seriously, they should check his pockets as he’s weebling out the door. For that matter, they should check every bag of every member of his administration. How much loot can Javanka carry out?

Prediction: Days, weeks, months, and years after he leaves the White House, we’ll read reports on what he and his administration took with them. Expect the large from government contracts, to the petty, like lamps and chairs. Look for stolen computer equipment and office furniture. Am I being petty? No. I have watched these people for the past four years and they don’t have ethics. They will steal everything that’s not nailed to the floor. In fact, maybe we should start nailing things to the floor. I just hope the Resolute Desk isn’t missing when Joe Biden walks into the Oval Office.

If Donald Trump wants a token from the worst presidential term in the history of presidents, American history, world history, history of the Kiwanis presidents, history of Hair Club for Men presidents…the worst ever…let him take that Andrew Jackson painting. Hopefully, we’ll never have another president as racist as Donald Trump who will want to hang it in the Oval Office. Donald Trump can take that Andrew Jackson painting and hang it in one of his shitty golf resorts next to all the fake Time Magazine covers.

This entire presidency has been delusional. We never got a wall on the border paid for by Mexico. They never found those millions of illegal votes from 2016. Trump never got that Nobel Prize. He’s not going to get his head on Mount Rushmore. And…he’s not going to get a second term.

Donald Trump will go out saying he doesn’t need anything…except your money, our money, MAGA rallies, and a TV network dedicated to his delusions so he can continue to spread lies and hate to his millions of fucknut followers.

But we don’t need Donald Trump, his lies, or his delusions.

Goodbye, Trump. Goodbye, Grifter. And if you haven’t stolen it, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Creative note: I used this concept in April, 2017. I thought I was in a good place since neither of my proofer’s remembered that.

Update: I’ll provide this update in tomorrow’s blog too. I think I should be open and share this as maybe it’ll help others. I got the phone call this morning and I have tested positive for the coronavirus.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Goodbye, Dumpster


CNN11152020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

Weeks before the election, I told a professional colleague that I bet Donald Trump wouldn’t attend the inauguration if he lost. He said, “who cares?”.

The worst things Donald Trump is doing over losing the election is undermining democracy, feeding into baseless conspiracy theories, and endangering the nation by hindering the transition.

Donald Trump was a sore winner so of course he’s a sore loser. He has spent his entire life as a baby. For someone who reportedly can’t stand being called a baby, he sure does act like one. And in being an obstacle and not allowing a transition, he’s proving he puts himself before the nation. I expect him to make more moves in the days and weeks that harm the nation, all in the act of a tamper tantrum.

But as for Donald Trump accepting defeat, conceding, stepping into reality, and stop being a delusional fact-free moron…who cares? We don’t need him for any of this. Sure, getting out of the way for the transition would be really nice and even beneficial…but when it comes to January 20 at noon, Donald Trump doesn’t have a say in it.

After noon on January 20 in regards to Donald Trump, we can all say, “Who cares?” Donald Trump and everyone who ever supported him belong in the dumpster of history.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Operation Bucket Trap


cjones11172020

Since Donald Trump projects, naturally he’d spend a week hiding inside the White House after spending months claiming Joe Biden was hiding in his basement.

When Joe Biden was staying home and wasn’t on the campaign trail, it was so he wouldn’t put lives in danger by campaigning. When Trump stays home hiding, it’s because he’s embarrassed that in the 2020 presidential election, he got his big orange ass handed to him.

Donald Trump held rally after rally, subjecting thousands to the coronavirus, and he still lost the election. Today, his followers will descend upon Washington for an anti-democracy protest.

Trump’s MAGAts are protesting under the pretense that the election was stolen. It wasn’t stolen. If anything, they’re trying to steal it. I know counter protesters will want to show up to make their voices heard as the MAGAts claim there will be a million of them, but please…if you’re opposing these people, stay home.

There will not be a million MAGAts in the district today. Maybe a few thousand. Most of them will not be masked. Liberals in Washington are very good at wearing masks. But this time, let the idiots have the streets. This could be another Trump super-spreader event. Let them hack on each other, not you. I’m blaming the possibility of having covid on MAGAts I saw on the metro giving me the stink eye for my RBG mask.

What these MAGAts want is a fascist ruler, not a democratic system. It’s what all Republicans want. And as they march around outside the White House, they know Donald Trump will be inside…hiding.

Donald Trump is hiding from reality. He’s hiding from facts. And he may be afraid to leave the White House as the locks may be changed while he’s out golfing. I hope it rains.

Donald Trump will never admit he lost the election. He may spend the rest of his life claiming he’s still president. They may even have to drag him out of the White House kicking and screaming.

I’m good with that. I wouldn’t mind seeing Donald Trump dragged out of the White House. But whoever has to do the dirty deed, remember…wear a face mask. These people are nasty.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Smooth Transition


cjones11162020

Republicans are all for stuff like democracy and free elections, that is…as long as they get the results they want. It’s like being given freedom of speech as long as you say the right things.

Not liking the election results, Republicans, led by Donald Trump, are screaming that massive fraud occurred and that’s the only reason Donald Trump lost. Republicans are so afraid of straying from the ridiculous talking points and giving credibility that our democratic process works, that only four Republican senators have congratulated Joe Biden on winning the election. In contrast, Hillary Clinton congratulated Donald Trump on election night in 2016.

For months, Donald Trump said the only way he could lose the election was if there was massive voter fraud. Donald Trump knew Joe Biden could beat him so even before the election, he tried to discredit the election. He knew Joe Biden could defeat him, so he broke the law and violated his oath of office by asking a foreign nation to help him dig up dirt on Joe Biden. Donald Trump even withheld foreign military aid to that nation, while they were being attacked by Russia, until they delivered dirt on Biden. Donald Trump was impeached for breaking the law and trying to steal an election.

Republicans were fine with Donald Trump violating his oath of office and his attempt to steal an election so of course, they’re fine now with the lie that Democrats stole the election. How much more proof do you need that Republicans don’t care about the rule of law and democracy? How much more proof do you need that the GOP is nothing more than a sycophantic, Kool-Aid drinking cult?

Here’s one question: Who stole the election? Yeah, I get that it was Democrats, but which Democrats? Who was in charge? Who ran it? I mean, was it all one big cannibalistic pedophiliac deep state that stole the election from Donald Trump in Pennsylvania, Arizona, Michigan, Wisconsin, Nevada, and even in Republican-controlled Georgia, while not tampering with the part on those ballots that featured Republican senate candidates? How did Democrats lose an election while not winning the U.S. Senate and while losing House seats? How are ballots fake when they’re for Joe Biden but the same ballots not being fake when they’re for a Republican senate candidate? Are the ballots only half fake? How are the results fraudulent only in states Biden won, and by larger numbers than Trump beat Clinton with?

To be a MAGAt, you have to suspend reality.

Donald Trump has told over 22,000 lies, one of those being that there were millions of illegal voters in the 2016 election. He never proved that. So why is anyone buying into his election fraud bullshit now? Are we going to become the United States of Qanon? Will Republicans forever claim the 2020 election was stolen from them…like they’ll forever claim Pizzagate is real and Obama was born in Kenya?

Yesterday, the Department of Homeland Security issued a statement that the 2020 election was the “most secure in American history.” This is Donald Trump’s own DHS. That Democratic-run deep state runs deep.

One thing that’s kinda funny, well amusing to me, is that Donald Trump often talked about having a third presidential term…and voters didn’t want him to have a second.

Donald Trump has praised China’s leader for becoming that nations president for life. He’s made a few references about it in regards to himself which I’d be fine with if he was trying to president for life of China. Donald Trump loves his dictators. He’s rather spend a weekend exchanging love letters with Kim Jong Un, getting back scratches from Rodrigro Duterte, playing nine holes with Recip Erdogan, and kissing Vladimir Putin’s ass in Helsinki, than spend time with Democratically-elected leaders.

Another one of Donald Trump’s lies is that President Obama spied on his 2016 campaign, which he has called treason. He also says it should allow him that third term.

I’m not a constitutional law expert so that’s probably why I can’t find it anywhere in the United States Constitution where a president can get a third term in office if his predecessor spies on his presidential campaign. I also can’t find under which amendment that a president can ignore election results when he loses the election.

That’s what Republicans are doing. They’re ignoring an election. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo ever referred to the Constitution when talking about a “smooth transition” into a SECOND Trump administration.

Here’s the thing about that: The Constitution doesn’t spell out that we elect our president. Article II, Section 1, Clauses 2 and 3, state the president is choses by electors in each state. It’s practice they simply follow the election returns and never conduct substantive discussion or debate about who should be president. This may be what Pompeo is talking about…which means there has been substantive discussion on it between Republicans.

It’s a hail Mary attempt, but a lot of Republicans are envisioning stealing the election through the electors…if they can convince them to ignore election results.

It’s why they’re refusing to call Joe Biden “President-Elect Joe Biden” It’s why all departments have been told to budget for next year as though all those department heads will still be there in 2021, unless Trump has them fired for not being sufficiently sycophantic. It’s why the State Department won’t even pass on congrats to Biden from other nations. It’s why Republicans are saying Trump won 2020 in a massive landslide. It’s why the Trump administration isn’t allowing for a transfer of power. It’s why MAGAts like Mike Pompeo are talking about a “smooth transition” into a second Trump administration.

I can promise you this: If they have to steal it, it won’t be “smooth”

I thought it would be death for our democracy if Trump won the election. How could I have predicted the death of our democracy would come from his losing?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Coups For Dummies


cjones11142020

On November 10, 2016, President Obama hosted President-elect (sic) Donald Trump in the White House. Vice-President Joe Biden hosted vice-president elect (sic) Mike Pence in the VP residence. First Lady Michelle Obama gave a White House tour to Melania Trump. Today, it’s November 11, 2020, and instead of inviting the future president of the United States to the White House, Donald Trump is hiding inside his bunker in denial he lost. What makes this even worse is that he has enablers. These enablers are helping Donald Trump thwart democracy.

Republicans are pointing out that Democrats whined about the 2016 election. This is true. I whined. I didn’t like the results. I still don’t like it. But while I said the election was tampered with and Russia meddled, I never said any ballots were fraudulent. No Democrats opposed the transition of power. Today, the Trump administration is not allowing a transfer of power.

The Trump Administration could still pursue legal challenges over the election while allowing the process of a transition to happen. That would be in the best interest of the nation. Instead, offices are not being created for the transition, funds aren’t being released, and the next president isn’t even being given security briefings. These were all acts afforded to Donald Trump when he was the incoming president (sic).

The United States condemns leaders of other nations who refuse to leave office and give up power after losing fair elections. Now, our leader (sic) is refusing to give up power and is hiding inside his palace sending his minions out to help him stage a coup. Donald Trump has not been seen since last Thursday.

Mitch McConnell is supporting Trump’s legal challenges even though there isn’t any evidence of massive voter fraud. Lindsey Graham is telling Trump not to concede. McConnell and Graham both won their Senate elections last week but neither one of these two men refused their opponent’s concessions.

Ted Cruz says allowing the media to declare the winner is not how we do it in America. Except, he was more than happy to accept the media’s declaration of a winner in 2016. He was more than happy to accept their declaration in 2018 when he won reelection to the Senate.

When asked if he had congratulated President-Elect Joe Biden yet, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, whose state went for Biden, said he doesn’t have anything to congratulate Biden for.

Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana said, “We have got to allow our courts to hear these allegations of voting irregularities by the president.” You may as well allow the courts to hear allegations of lizard people running our government too because you have just as much evidence of that as you do of voter fraud.

North Carolina’s Thom Tillis was finally declared the winner of his race yesterday and he said about the presidential election, “Every vote legally cast must be counted.” Who says they shouldn’t? Who says they haven’t been counted? Guess what. Tillis didn’t stop his opponent from conceding saying, “Every legal vote must be counted” bullshit.

Isn’t it fucked up that right after you elect someone, that they make a pronouncement against democracy and fair elections?

Attorney General William Barr is releasing the Justice Department’s legal hounds to fight Trump’s loss in the courts. Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani is holding press conferences outside dildo shops claiming the election was stolen from Trump.

It’s funny Democrats stole the election for Biden while simultaneously losing the Senate and seats in the House. It’s also funny that it hasn’t occurred to any of these Republicans claiming fraudulent ballots, that they also have their names on those “fraudulent” ballots. If we’re going to wipe out who won the election, that should also mean we wipe out all those Republican victories. Should we wipe out McConnell’s, Graham’s, and Tillis’ victories?

Each government department is being told to prepare their budgets for next year as though the administration will still be operating. As if they’re still going to be in town and not all applying at Fox News at the same time. And Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, the nation’s top diplomat has said there will be a “smooth transition…to a SECOND Trump administration.”

What the fuck? The top diplomat or the world’s leading democracy is telling the world we don’t obey election results anymore. Pompeo said the eletion has not been decided. It has LITERALLY been decided.

Can you imagine the outrage if instead of conceding the election the day after, Hillary Clinton had refused to admit defeat, mounted legal challenged, and claimed the election had been stolen? Can you imagine if instead of inviting Trump to the White House, President Obama had refused to release transition funding?

In Michigan, Trump beat Clinton by 10,704 votes in 2016. In 2020 in Michigan, Biden beat Trump by over 146,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 146,000 is greater than 10,000.

In Pennsylvania, Trump beat Clinton by 46,765. In 2020 in Pennsylvania, Biden beat Trump by over 48,000 (and still counting). In case you’re a Republican, 48,000 is more than 46,000. Now, Trump is suing to overturn the election in Pennsylvania.

As the counting continues, Biden is heading for a 306 electoral vote win. That’s the exact same amount Trump won with in 2016. How are they going to win the presidency by overturning one state without any actual evidence of election fraud? They would need to overturn more than one state. Maybe they can do it in Georgia where the two GOP senators are calling for their own Republican Secretary of State to resign because they don’t like that his count shows Donald Trump is losing.

This is banana republic type shit here, people. This is a coup attempt. Maybe people like Pompeo are just trying to appease Trump for now. Maybe Pompeo is a coward. He wants to appease Trump’s base for when he runs for the Senate in Kansas or even for the presidency in 2024, if Trump doesn’t. Or maybe, he’s afraid of being fired two months before he’s scheduled to lose his job. Trump is already lashing out and firing people.

Maybe people like Mitch McConnell, John Kennedy (not the good one), Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Thom Tillis, and Ted Cruz are all just big, fat ass kissers. Or…they’re trying to steal an election and are engaging in a coup.

I predicted before the election that Joe Biden would win…but I did not predict he’d take the White House because I was afraid the Republicans would try to steal the election. Even before the election, Trump said the only way he could lose was if there was corruption and voter fraud. Boy, did I call it or did I call it?

We know this about Trump supporters: They are all cowards. They have made their party into one of a cult. They put one man before their nation. They are putting one man before democracy. They don’t care if they turn our democracy into a dictatorship.

The Trump administration will NOT legally continue, but the resistance must.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.