Trump

Lock Him Up

Donald Trump “truthed” that he’s going to be arrested on Tuesday. It’s Tuesday. As Ted Knight said in Caddyshack, “Well? We’re waiting.”

Republicans are in an uproar over the possibility Donald Trump will be indicted and arrested in Manhattan over the hush-money payment scheme to porn star Stormy Daniels. It didn’t work because we still found out about the “Yeti pubes.” They claim the statutes of limitations have passed in the case which is not true but is an admission of guilt. They claim the investigation is solely political since, as Trump puts it, he’s the “leading” candidate in the presidential race.

Trump claimed that Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg “has allowed violent crime to reach new heights in New York without any retribution” in order to prosecute Trump. Other Republicans have made the same claim, saying Bragg should focus on other crimes in New York…and then without an ounce of awareness promise to investigate Bragg.

Instead of focusing on the border, inflation, the economy, China, and making sure Matt Gaetz isn’t hitting on underage congressional pages, Republicans want to investigate another Trump investigation.

Republican Florida congressman and Goon Caucus member Byron Donalds was on CNN this morning complaining about Bragg not focusing on New York, defended Congress going after Bragg, and then talked about how FEMA hasn’t provided enough trailers to his district after the last hurricane. Maybe you worry more about FEMA trailers in Florida and less about prosecutions in New York.

Republicans are threatening and harassing the Manhattan DA before any charges have been announced. While calling Bragg’s investigation political, they promise to investigate Bragg, and again without any awareness, with Jim Gym Jordan leading the committee.

Republicans are screaming and howling that a presidential candidate can’t be prosecuted, investigated, indicted, arrested, etc…while forgetting that they’re the “lock her up” gang.

Have you ever been to a Trump rally? I have. Have you at least seen one on TV? They do love their chants at Trump rallies. There’s “space force,” “fire Fauci,” “drain the swamp,” “build the wall,” and the always popular and very racist “send her back,” but perhaps the most popular of the chants that don’t exceed three syllables is “lock her up.”

In 2016, attendees of MAGA rallies started the chant “lock her up” in regard to Hillary Clinton, who at the time was the leading presidential candidate. Hmm. That’s weird. Right now, Republicans are saying it’s a bad thing to try to arrest leading presidential candidates and political opponents.

Donald Trump never disavowed these “lock her up” chants. Usually, he just stood at the podium with that creepy smile on his face ike he had just spotted a ten-year-old in Trump Tower that he’d like to date in eight years, allowing the crowd to continue the chant.

In 2020, while he was president (sic), he said during one of these “lock her up” chants, “I agree with you 100 percent.”

Throughout his presidency (sic), Trump called for investigations, prosecutions, indictments, and arrests of political opponents. He claimed Hillary Clinton and President Obama committed “treason” for their parts in the Russia investigation (they had zero parts in it).

In 2020, he tweeted at his Attorney General William Barr to “arrest somebody,” and wondered aloud why President Obama, then-Democratic nominee Joe Biden, and Hillary Clinton hadn’t been imprisoned for launching a “coup” against his administration.

In the same 24-hour period, he tweeted, “Where are all of the arrests? Can you imagine if the roles were reversed? Long term sentences would have started two years ago. Shameful!”

And then he let loose a barrage of tweets in all caps, stating, “DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, THE BIGGEST OF ALL POLITICAL SCANDALS (IN HISTORY)!!! BIDEN, OBAMA AND CROOKED HILLARY LED THIS TREASONOUS PLOT!!! BIDEN SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO RUN – GOT CAUGHT!!!”

These tweets were sent right after Trump returned to the White House from Walter Reed Hospital where he was recovering from COVID, so he was probably pretty high on bleach, ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, Diet Coke, and Adderall.

Elise Stefanik has called Bragg’s investigation “unAmerican.” Rand Paul, missing the irony of accusing Bragg of arresting political opponents while calling for Bragg’s arrest.

Speaker Kevin McCarthy said a possible indictment would be “an outrageous abuse of power by a radical DA who lets violent criminals walk as he pursues political vengeance.”

Mike Pence said it was a “politically-charged environment in New York where the attorney general and other elected officials literally campaigned on a pledge to prosecute the former president.” But it’s not as politically charged as the riot at the Capitol on January 6, 2021, that was chanting, “Hang Mike Pence.” Again, only three syllables.

Tech investor, Republican presidential candidate, and guy you never heard of before until now Vivek Ramaswamy said he didn’t want to live in a country where “the party in power is able to use police force to arrest its political opposition.”

Lauren Boebert tweeted, “We’re witnessing the most obscene political witch-hunt in American history.” And then her son impregnated the witch.

Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted with a link to MTG merchandise, “George Soros puppet and Democrat activist Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg has declared us all Enemies of State by declaring war on MAGA.” But you too can proudly wear “Enemy of the State” panties.

Jim Gym Jordan said it was an “unprecedented abuse of prosecutorial authority.”

Matt Gaetz said to a young woman walking past him in a hallway, “Hey, are you 18 yet?”

George Santos said, “I never abused my office politically when I was the Manhattan DA.”

But if you can remember, the party in power in the House of Representatives in 2016 conducted the Benghazi hearings. They forced Hillary Clinton to testify during her campaign. Kevin McCarthy praised the hearings for hurting Clinton’s poll numbers.

None of the goons, not McCarthy, Stefanik, Donalds, Paul, Pence, MTG, Boebert, or Ramalamadingdong ever told Trump to stop tweeting to his Attorney General to arrest his political opponents. None of them called it “unAmerican.” Remember, all of these goons were A-OK with President (sic) Trump using taxpayer-funded military aid approved by Congress to extort the President of Ukraine to dig up dirt on his political opponent.

Attorney General (sic) Bill Barr did use the Justice Department to defend Trump and his goons and appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the Russia investigation, which has turned up diddly. So yeah, they did try to go after Trump’s political opponents. The problem was, they didn’t have anything on Trump’s political enemies. That’s the same problem they have today with the Bidens and all the claims of corruption and payments from China…they don’t have anything.

Republicans impeached President Bill Clinton for lying about oral sex but they want to sweep under the rug that Donald Trump paid hush money to a porn star to keep quiet about doing the wild thing in Vegas and that his ding-dong looks really really weird.

Republican outrage can’t be taken seriously. McCarthy says justice isn’t being applied evenly…and neither is his outrage.

If Democrats are actually using the law to go after political opponents, then Republicans are outraged that Democrats are acting like them.

If Republicans don’t want their candidates to be arrested, then stop making criminals your candidates.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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MAGA-Lardo Subpoenas

Donald Trump is preparing to be arrested by the Manhattan District Attorney next week, politicizing it, fundraising off it, and trying to create another violent riot from it. This case stems from paying hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels in 2016, days before the election, to keep quiet about boinking in a Las Vegas hotel room just four months after Melania gave birth to Baron. It’s not illegal to cheat on your wife four months after she gave birth to your fifth child. It’s not illegal to shag porn stars in Vegas. It’s not even illegal to pay hush money to a porn star to keep quiet about boinking in Vegas. But…it is a crime to donate money to your own campaign and not file it.

Michael Cohen, who was Trump’s lawyer/fixer at the time, paid Stormy $130,000 in the scheme, and Trump reimbursed Cohen later with a check…AFTER he was in the White House. Trump committed a crime and he did it while he was president. This should be his third impeachment.

Trump has denied having sex with Stormy Daniels but has admitted reimbursing Michael Cohen.

Former National Enquirer publisher David Pecker should also be facing criminal charges for paying a Playboy playmate $150,000 shortly before the 2016 election to keep quiet about her trysts with Tiny.

While the Manhattan case may be historic in that a former president (sic) is arrested, and extremely embarrassing when we get to see Trump’s mug shot and hopefully a perp walk (pleeeeeeeeeeeeease let there be a perp walk of Trump in handcuffs), it’s not the case that’s the biggest threat to Trump.

The greatest threat to Trump is the case in Georgia where Trump engaged in election interference, fraud, tampering, intimidation, etc, and the Special Counsel probe of Trump trying to steal the election, instigating a terrorist attack on the Capitol, obstructing Congress while it was performing a constitutionally-mandated duty, committing an insurrection, and stealing classified documents and obstructing justice.

We learned last week that Special Counsel Jack Smith has subpoenaed at least two dozen people over Trump’s handling of the documents, including employees of Mar-a-Lago. Multiple sources close to the situation said the list includes former attorneys, aides, housekeepers, restaurant workers, and other employees of the country club that has become Trump’s full-time residence.

I’ve read in the past that Trump is actually a pretty good tipper, often handing $50 bills to housekeepers. Now we know why. But I think silence should cost more than $50. If you’re an employee at Mar-a-Lago and you see something, then say something.

These investigations and prosecutions are NOT political. The Manhattan DA refused to prosecute Trump personally when he went after the Trump Organization. Donald Trump attacked our country and tried to steal an election. Sure, it’s unprecedented for a former president (sic) to be arrested, but it’s also unprecedented that a president (sic) is a traitor.

Indict Trump, arrest Trump, convict Trump, and imprison Trump. It’s the American thing to do.

Music note: I listened to Hole.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Let’s Go To Prison

Fucknut Qanon troglodyte she-beast Marjorie Taylor Greene plans to visit January 6 defendants in prison. She believes the white nationalist terrorists who committed an insurrection in attacking our nation in a failed coup attempt are patriots. But hey, maybe while she’s there, she can visit the biggest January 6 defendant, former president (sic) of the United States Donald J. Trump. The “J” is for jagoff.

Donald Trump predicted this morning, Saturday, March 18, 2023, that he’s going to be arrested this Tuesday. Trump “truthed” in all caps because nobody’s taught grandpa how to use the caps lock key yet, “THE FAR & AWAY LEADING REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE AND FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WILL BE ARRESTED ON TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK. PROTEST, TAKE OUR NATION BACK!”

Wow, right? He admits he’s the former president.

An indictment is expected soon from the Manhattan grand jury that’s been hearing the district attorney’s case against Trump in the hush money scheme to silence Stormy Daniels in the 2016 presidential election. Does Trump actually know when the indictment is coming down? He probably doesn’t. But what he is doing is using this to raise money. He’s also calling for a protest much like he did for January 6 when Congress was certifying the Electoral College and Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 presidential election.

Within hours, Speaker Kevin McCarthy tweeted that he is calling for investigations into whether federal funds were being used for “politically motivated prosecutions.” But Donald Trump did pay Stormy Daniels to remain silent about their shagfest, the toad, and yeti pubes without filing it as a campaign expense. McCarthy should wait until after a trial before calling for more bullshit investigations. This is the same guy who bragged that the Benghazi investigations were used to hurt Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. How much in federal funds is the Republican House using for politically motivated investigations into Hunter Biden?

MTG has now added defunding federal investigations into Mr. Yeti Pubes before she’ll vote to raise the debt ceiling. Republicans want criminals to run wild.

But if you’re excited about the prospect of Trump being convicted and sent to prison on the Stormy Daniels thing, don’t be. Out of all the investigations currently ongoing against Trump, this is the one he’s not really worried about. In fact, he may insist upon doing a perp walk as it’ll be a great fundraiser and aid in creating another MAGA white nationalist terrorist riot. What fun.

For Trump to be indicted, prosecutors will have to convince a jury that Trump intentionally violated campaign finance laws with the strongest testimony coming from a convicted perjurer in Michael Cohen, and a porn star. And even if he is convicted, jail time is not mandatory. Since this will be the first time he’s ever been convicted criminally, I wouldn’t put money on a jail sentence.

The cases that should truly worry Trump are the investigations by Special Counsel Jack Smith and the one over election tampering in Georgia. Trying to steal an election, overthrow the government, and stealing and hiding classified documents is much more serious than boinking a porn star. The biggest excitement I’ll gain from this is the possibility that we’ll see Sniffles in handcuffs.

But even in the Stormy case, Trump has a greater chance of eating prison food before Russian President Vladimir Putin does.

The International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued an arrest warrant for Putin. Don’t get excited about this one either because not only can’t the ICC go and get Putin out of Russia, it’s a warrant that’s not recognized by a lot of nations, including the United States. President Biden said it’s “justified” even as he pointed out that we don’t recognize it.

Even if he’s never arrested, Vladimir Putin is a war criminal. And the warrant is still a big deal because this is the leader of a G0 nation.

But if Putin is ever put in prison, let’s make it convenient for MTG, who loves and defends both men, and make Trump and Putin cellmates.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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DeSantis Loves Putin

Any candidate who can’t see that democracy in Europe and the defeat of fascism is in our vital national interest has no place in the White House…or Congress, or a governor’s mansion, or have his own talk show.

While talking to Tucker Carlson on Fox News, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said, “While the US has many vital national interests, securing our borders, addressing the crisis of readiness within our military, achieving energy security and independence, and checking the economic, cultural, and military power of the Chinese Communist Party, becoming further entangled in a territorial dispute between Ukraine and Russia is not one of them.”

First, checking the military power of China is a vital national interest, but Russia’s military invasion of a soveriegn nation is not? Second, Russia’s illegal invasion of Ukraine is NOT a territorial dispute.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has firebombed the entire nation of Ukraine which he’s justified with lies about Nazis. If Ukraine was actually controlled by Nazis, they’d be siding with Putin. Putin is trying to make Ukraine a part of Russia again and destroy the government elected by the people of Ukraine. He’s bombed homes, hospitals, schools, and playgrounds killing over 400 children in the process. Anyone who calls this a “territorial dispute” is a vile disgusting despicable human being. This is Ron DeSantis.

You can include Ron DeSantis with Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Tucker Carlson, and Donald Trump, who all are on the side of Putin’s fascist Russia over democratic Ukraine. In choosing Russia over Ukraine, they’re choosing Russia over the vital national interests of the United States.

Of course, Ron DeSantis would side with the fascist who doesn’t allow fair elections in his nation over the democratically-elected Volodimyr Zelenskyy. DeSantis has modeled his tyranny of Florida on the fascist states of Russia and Hungary. He’s waged war on science, history, LGBTQ, education, and all dissent.

Ron DeSantis says “Florida is where woke goes to die.” “Woke” is an idealogy of open-mindedness, thoughtfulness, and compassion. Woke is understanding positions you will never be in and being aware and conscious of the plights of others. If you’re a white male and you understand others who are not white males will have a more difficult path than you and realize that you do indeed have white privilege, then congratulations. You are woke. Ron DeSantis wants “woke” to die and is trying to kill it through legislation. Ron DeSantis is trying to cancel, not just free speech, but free thinking. He’s currently trying to turn one state college into a reeducation camp.

It’s shocking that Republicans don’t believe Russian aggression, threatening NATO and Europe, is not in America’s vital interests. Ronald Reagan must be rolling in his grave while Ron DeSantis is rolling in Putin’s propaganda.

Creative note: This cartoon was drawn at a Starbucks in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. The blog was written inside a Ruby Tuesdays in the terminal of the Knoxville airport.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Conjunction Misfunction

Silicone Valley Bank crashed Saturday with $212 billion in assets. It’s the second-largest bank failure in history. This prompted Cocaine Bear, I mean Donald Trump Jr, to tweet, “I don’t remember banks collapsing under Trump.”

Seaway Bank and Trust Company, Proficio Bank, First NBC Bank, Guaranty Bank, Fayette County Bank, The Farmers and Merchants State Bank of Argonia, Washington Federal Bank for Savings, The Enloe State Bank, Louisa Community Bank, Resolute Bank, City National Bank of New Jersey, Ericson State Bank, The First State Bank, First City Bank of Florida, Almena State Bank all collapsed during the Trump administration. In case you’re counting, that’s 15 banks that collapsed during the Trump administration. Just because Sniffles Jr doesn’t remember something doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Ten years from now and he won’t remember dating Kimberly Guilfoyle.

Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted, “They give money to Silicon Valley Bank. They give money to Ukraine. But no money for East Palestine.” MTG’s received a bailout of over $183,504 which she didn’t refuse. And why should taxpayers pay for a corporation’s fuck up in East Palestine? The government paying to clean up the disaster in East Palestine, Ohio would be a taxpayer-paid bailout for a corporation. Norfolk Southern is a huge campaign contributor to Republicans.

On Sunday, the Treasury Department, the Federal Reserve, and the FDIC announced they were taking “decisive actions” to protect the economy and shore up confidence in the banking system. This is so there isn’t a panic and everyone in the nation pulls their money out of their banks, which is what happened to SVB. This is a bailout but it’s not a taxpayer bailout like the one we saw in 2008.

SVB is not going to be revived and lenders and shareholders won’t be getting any government money. But depositors will be paid back from a fund that banks pay into called the “Depositors Insurance Fund.”

Conservatives are blaming the bank’s collapse on…wait for it…”wokeism.” Wait, what? Seriously? Yes, seriously. It’s because the bank hired gay bank tellers and trans security guards. No, really, they blame investments that promote environmental and social goals and SVB’s commitment to diversity and equity programs. The reason conservatives hate SVB so much is that it was a bank used by the tech industry, which of course they believe discriminates against them. For them, it’s an easy target if you don’t look at the details.

And yes, Trump’s deregulation of the banking industry is a contributing factor in SVB’s collapse.

President Obama signed the Dodd-Frank Act in 2010 which was designed to prevent another collapse like the one we saw in 2018. Dodd-Frank mandated stricter capital and liquidity standards for institutions with $50 billion in assets. Trump’s rewrite raised the minimum to $250 billion in assets.

SVB’s CEO was a huge supporter to raise that minimum and at the time, SVG had less than $50 billion in assets. When SVB crashed last week, it had $212 billion.

If Republicans want to scream and hootin’ and hollerin’ (I’m in Tennesse) about the bank’s collapse, then they need to scream at themselves.

You can’t keep deregulating banks and railroads and then wonder why they crash…or blame wokeism.

Creative note: This cartoon was drawn at a Starbucks in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. I wrote the blog back in my hotel room.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Toad

I have three concerns with this cartoon.

My first concern is the file size. My cartoons usually include a lot of detail which makes for large files. I create four files for each cartoon. The file for this one is incredibly small. The black and white jpeg of the cartoon is only 444K. That’s small. It may be an unnecessary concern of mine but I worry that a small file will be low in quality when it’s published.

That concern may not be necessary because of my second concern, which is…nobody’s going to run this cartoon. OK, maybe the Detroit Metro Times. They’re ballsy. And that leads to my third concern.

My third concern is that it won’t be published, not because the cartoon is about Donald Trump’s penis, but because a lot of people won’t understand the cartoon. So here goes another blog that explains the cartoon.

It’s about Trump’s dick.

One of my proofreaders didn’t understand the cartoon. It’s possible my other proofer didn’t either and she was just being nice because she’s nice. But the way I justify drawing a cartoon that possibly most of my readers and newspaper clients won’t get is: I draw a lot of cartoons. I’m the only political cartoonist in this country who gives my readers and clients a brand-new cartoon every single day (there is another guy who often shits out three a day but most of those are traced photos and stolen clipart he signs his name on, so he doesn’t count).

It’s also a Saturday and I often do crazy shit on the weekends. Anyway, my clients get enough from me they can use that one can land in the trash.

An editor might say, “I can’t use this because I don’t get it. What’s it about?”
And I would tell him, “Trump may be indicted on criminal charges for his role in hush payments to porn star Stormy Daniels, who described Trump’s dick as looking like Toad from Mario Kart.”
And then the editor would reply, “Good God, now I’m definitely not publishing this.” Unless that editor is from the Detroit Metro Times.

And yes, Trump is facing criminal charges in Manhattan as the District Attorney has invited him to testify before the grand jury. In New York, potential defendants have the right to answer questions in the grand jury before they are indicted. Most decline and I’m sure Trump will too because any testimony can be used against him. These invitations are usually followed by indictments.

District Attorney Alvin Bragg may be the first to charge Trump criminally…but not the last.

Trump is under investigation in Georgia for interfering in that state’s presidential election when he demanded Georgia’s Secretary of State to “find” him 11,780 votes. Trump HAS to be charged in Georgia. Not charging him would be criminal.

He’s also under investigation by a Special Counsel for his role in the January 6 white nationalist terrorist attack, for trying to steal the 2020 election, and for stealing government documents, many of which are classified.

Trump has also committed sooooooooooo many other crimes without any charges or even investigations. Trump not being in prison already is a testament that we have a very unequal justice system. Donald Trump is a criminal…a big fat racist orange grifting criminal.

The Manhattan investigation has been going on for five years, which is another testament to our unequal legal system.

Here’s the deets: Trump shagged Stormy Daniels years ago. He didn’t want her to talk about it during the 2016 presidential campaign, so he paid her to keep quiet about it. Trump’s lawyer/fixer, Michael Cohen, paid Stormy $130,000 in the final days of the campaign. After Trump became president (sic), he reimbursed Cohen with a check and then lied about it. Bill Clinton would have been impeached for this shit and possibly sent to prison. If there was even a rumor of President Obama doing this, there would be congressional investigations today.

One of the reasons Michael Cohen was sent to prison was for campaign finance violations. So how is Cohen guilty of breaking campaign finance laws but Trump isn’t?

Paying someone hush money isn’t a crime. But it may be a crime if you do it as a campaign contribution that isn’t filed. Concealing the payment could be the crime in this case. In New York, falsifying business records can amount to a crime, but just a misdemeanor. To elevate the crime to a felony charge, Bragg’s prosecutors must show that Trump’s “intent to defraud” included an intent to commit or conceal a second crime.

That second crime may be that the hush money was an improper donation and a violation of state election laws, in that the hush money benefited Trump’s campaign.

Initially, Stormy took her story to the National Enquirer and offered them an exclusive for which they would pay for. They did this with another woman Trump boinked, paid her for the exclusive rights to the story, then never published it in what’s often referred to as “catch and kill.” The National Enquirer was published by a Trumper, a guy named…wait for it…”Pecker.”

Instead of paying Stormy for the story, Pecker helped negotiate the hush payment with her and Michael Cohen in order to help the Trump Campaign. Trump has said the National Enquirer should be winning Pulitzers.

Nobody has ever been charged with a felony under all these circumstances. Trump’s fuckery is unique. The president (sic) of the United States paid his lawyer to pay a porn star to keep quiet. The odds may be very low that Trump is convicted and if he is, it’ll probably just be a low-level felony with the maximum sentence being four years, but the judge has the option of not including any jail time in the sentence.

So the question may not that be whether Trump goes to prison or not but…was the $130,000 to keep people from knowing Trump cheated on his wife (just four months after she had given birth to Baron, but in Trump’s defense, her body was probably still weird, gross, and icky after giving birth to his fifth child, which I’m sure you understand) with a porn star or that his penis looks like Toad from Mario Kart?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Passion of the Tucker

I don’t have a policy against drawing two cartoons in a row on the same subject, but I discourage myself from it. Does it sound like I talk to myself? I do. Right, me? Yes, he does that. It’s annoying. But even if I did have a policy against drawing on the same subject two times in a row, I’d break it at times when I felt it was necessary…and I think drawing a cartoon on Tucker Carlson today is necessary, even though I drew on him yesterday.

The reason it’s necessary is that the Dominion Lawsuit against Fox News has provided even more revelations about the network.

The last batch of internal texts and emails from the goons at Fox News revealed that the hosts and executives didn’t believe the election lies. They didn’t believe Trump won. They didn’t believe Biden stole the election from Trump. They didn’t believe in the accusations of massive voter fraud. They didn’t believe there was an abundance of dead people voting. They didn’t believe undocumented immigrants were voting. They didn’t believe Italian satellites had changed ballots. They didn’t believe bamboo ballots lost the election for Trump. They didn’t believe George Soros was manipulating the Dominion voting system. They didn’t believe the deceased Hugo Chavez was a part of the Dominion voting system. They didn’t believe none of that shit but they gave all of it airtime. In fact, Fox News is still casting doubt on the election.

We learned from those texts that Tucker tried to get a fact-checker fired. We learned that Fox News was afraid of reporting facts out of fear of pissing off Donald Trump and their audience. We learned that Fox News was afraid that reporting facts would make their stock as worthless as stock in Truth Social.

We always knew Fox News lied, but now we have proof that even Fox News doesn’t believe its own bullshit. So why does Fox News knowingly report lies? Because they’re not news and they don’t have principles. Despite this, Tucker was handed January 6 footage by Speaker Kevin McCarthy which Tuckums has now used to lie about the white nationalist terrorist attack, saying it was peaceful and not an insurrection. Showing a photo of the Qanon Shaman strolling through the Capitol building instead of taking a dump in the hallways doesn’t mean he’s a peaceful guy any more than Hitler being a dog person doesn’t mean he didn’t murder six million Jews.

It’s true Hitler was a dog person which means a dog would rather go to Hitler when he calls than to Donald Trump.

But, people who watch Fox News don’t get nuance and context. The people who were screaming at me yesterday are totally unaware that Tucker knowingly lies to them because they don’t watch the real news. They only watch Fox. But even Fox didn’t report on Tucker’s phony exposé of the Jan. 6 footage. Seriously, after Tucker signed off on Monday night, not one host on Fox News mentioned the Jan. 6 footage.

The question I now have for Fox News viewers is: How are you going to buy Tucker’s bullshit when Tucker doesn’t actually believe in MAGA? I already know the answer and that is: They’ll ignore it.

Tucker has spent the last six years being a Trump sycophant, an asskisser, a toadie, a lackey, an apple polisher, a bootlicker, a ball licker, a fawner, a groveler, and an all-around cultist. As it turns out, Tucker drank the orange Kool-Aid but he didn’t swallow.

The new revelations reveal that Tucker, Sean Hannity, and Laura Ingraham wanted to flex their muscles to enact change at the network, and not for the better. “I think the three of us have enormous power,” Ingraham wrote in a group text, adding that they have “more power than we know or exercise.” She continued, “we should think about how together we can force a change.” Hanitty told her to “keep thinking” and Tucker texted that “the first thing” they needed to do is “exactly what we want to do,” which is what you would expect a prep-school baby with a lifetime of white privilege to say. Tucker also said, “We are all officially working for an organization that hates us.”

It’s funny that they were outraged at their own network for reporting the news. Fox News was becoming a bit too honest for their brand of propaganda.

Tucker and Peter Doocy mocked Fox News’ journalists on the so-called “straight news” side of the network in a text exchange.
Hannity: News destroyed us.
Doocy: Every day.
Hannity: You don’t piss off the base.
Doocy: They don’t care. They are JOURNALISTS.
Hannity: By the way, ever notice your name is like a “deuce,” you know…taking a crap?
Doocy: What are you talking about? Can you give me an example?
Hannity: Yes. Those MAGAt white nationalists who committed an insurrection on January 6 sure did drop a lot of doocies on the floor of the Capitol.
Doocy: Oh, yeah. Well, just make sure that if Kevin McCarthy ever becomes Speaker and gives you hours of security footage showing MAGAts dropping doocies on the floor of the Capitol, you don’t show that part.
Hannity: Of course not. If part of the deal for McCarthy to ever become Speaker is for him to give me hours of security footage of the Jan. 6 white nationalist MAGA terrorist attack, I’m gonna manipulate it like it’s a Veritas video of an abortion clinic.

After Fox News called Arizona for Biden on election night, the head of the company, Rupert Murdoch emailed a friend, “I hate our Decision Desk people! And pollsters! Some of the same people I think. Just for the hell of it still praying for Az to prove them wrong!” Spoiler: Arizona did NOT prove them wrong.

We also learned that when Murdoch was asked why he divulged confidential campaign ad information to Jared Kushner, he said, “I was trying to help Mr. Kushner. He’s a friend of mine.” That might have been illegal.

We also learned that Maria Bartiromo refused to call Biden President-elect. After the election had been called for Biden on the Saturday after the election, officially making him the president-elect, she texted Steve Bannon, “I want to see massive fraud exposed … I told my team we are not allowed to say pres elect at [all]. Not in scripts or in banners on air. Until this moves through the courts.”

But the juiciest (not the doociest) bit of the new revelations is that Tucker hates Trump. He doesn’t just hate Trump, he passionately hates Trump.

In November of 2020 after the election, Tucker texted to someone that Trump’s decision to snub Joe Biden’s inauguration was “so destructive,” adding that Trump’s post-election behavior was “disgusting” and that he was “trying to look away” like it was a Cheerios commercial with an interracial family.

Two days before the January 6 white nationalist MAGA terrorist attack, Tucker texted, “We are very, very close to being able to ignore Trump most nights. I truly can’t wait.”

Tucker also texted about the Trump presidency (sic), “That’s the last four years. We’re all pretending we’ve got a lot to show for it, because admitting what a disaster it’s been is too tough to digest. But come on. There isn’t really an upside to Trump.”

And then Tucker wrote, “I hate him passionately.”

Tucker doesn’t just hate Donald Trump, he hates him “passionately,” which means he really really really hates him.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates non-gender-specific Potato Heads.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates sexy Green M&M losing her white go-go boots.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Sexy Green M&M’s white go-go boots being worn by Ron DeSantis.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates a black president putting mustard on a cheeseburger/

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates black history.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates having to share an elevator with a black guy.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates democracy.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates criticism of white supremacy.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Ukraine.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Putin haters.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates an empty jar of mayonnaise.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates getting a toy he already has from the McDonald’s kid’s meals.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates real news.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates having a black female vice president.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates that his name rhymes with Fucker.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates it when he confuses his blue M&Ms for Viagra.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Jon Stewart.

Tucker hates Trump more than he hates that cartoonists are still drawing him with a red bowtie.

But the one thing Tucker hates more than Donald Trump is us knowing Tucker hates Trump and that he’s been a phony all this time. Tucker has been an ass-kisser for something he doesn’t even believe in.

The good news for Tucker since his viewers only watch Fox News is they’ll never know how “passionately” he hates Trump.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Tucker And The Pussycats

Today’s Comic Strip of the Day features a cartoon by Mike Beckom, who is a gaslighting MAGAt lacking critical thinking skills. His cartoon is a response to the revelation that Fox News knowingly lied to their viewers and presented The Big Lie that Trump won the 2020 election, it was stolen from him, and there was massive election fraud. The cartoon uses the tired cliché of the pot calling the kettle black, with the pots being MSNBC and CNN and the kettle being poor widdle innocent Fox News. The author of the blog, Mike Peterson, posted the cartoon in order to shoot it down, writing, “Nobody has produced any emails in which MSNBC or CNN declare, as Fox did, their intention of lying in order to preserve their ratings and stock prices.”

It’s a shame there can’t be fact-checks on the publication of every right-wing political cartoon.

I’ve seen Beckom’s argument posted by other righties, that CNN and MSNBC do the same thing Fox News does, knowingly lie to their viewers…except there’s no actual proof of it. The reason there’s no proof of it is that legitimate news outlets don’t knowingly lie to their viewers. The thing that bothers me with this is what bothers me with all conservatives in that they don’t base their opinions on facts, but then again…if you’re only watching Fox News, you won’t know the facts.

If you only watch Fox News then you are probably not at all aware that the Dominion lawsuit produced emails and texts between executives and hosts at Fox News revealing that they knew they were lying…and did so in order not to lose their viewers and to keep their stock prices up. There is not a text message in public of a host at CNN or MSNBC demanding that a fact-checker be fired, but there’s one of Tucker Carlson doing it.

So the same people who don’t know that Tucker Carlson knowingly lies to them probably watched him air footage last night gained from Speaker Kevin McCarthy of the Jan. 6 white nationalist insurrection, and calling it a “peaceful gathering.”

Tucker said, “The footage does not show an insurrection or a riot in progress. Instead, it shows police escorting people through the building.” This is cherry-picking. Tucker said the rioters were ” peaceful sightseers,” not “insurrectionists.”

This is why everyone was against Kevin McCarthy giving the unseen footage to Tucker because he would use it to create a lying narrative. I watched the attack live on January 6, 2020, and what I saw was an insurrection and riot committed by a bunch of white nationalist MAGAts. What I saw was a coup.

When McCarthy was struggling to become Speaker, losing vote after vote, Tucker said on his show, after the third loss, “First, release the January 6 files. Not some of the January 6 files and video… all of it… so that the rest of us can finally know what actually happened on January 6, 2021.” Tucker receiving this footage was part of the deal McCarthy made to become Speaker…that and giving Matt Gaetz foot massages every Tuesday.

McCarthy was fine with giving this footage to a liar who’d use it to harm the country. McCarthy doesn’t care how much damage this does to the nation, just so long as he has political power.

Now in Florida, where most bullshit happens, the legislature is about to begin its next session, and among the many dozens of bills to make DeSantis state emperor is one mandating that public schools and universities only teach the “right” history. You know, no black history. No history that can make a white kid feel guilty about the actions of white people in the past.

The party that wants to legislate how history from decades and centuries ago is taught is led by Tucker, who reconstructs recent history. These people can’t even get the history from last week right, and they want to mandate how the history of slavery and the civil rights era are taught.

If you want to learn history, don’t go to school in Florida… and don’t watch Fox News.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Selective Outrage

The only bright spot for Will Smith from Chris Rock’s Netflix special, Selective Outrage, is that he knows at least one person watched “Emancipation”.

I pulled up Netflix Saturday night without any idea of what I was going to watch, which is a typical Saturday night for me now that I’m old and single. The first thing to pop up was Chris Rock’s live special, “Selective Outrage.” If I heard about this special coming up beforehand, I forgot. Since I didn’t have anything specific in mind to watch (more Community, IT Crowd, The Good Place?), I decided to check out Rock’s special which was coming live from Baltimore. I pulled it up during the pre-show.

The comedians during the pre-show were praising Rock and talking about how he was on fire and bringing his A-game, which to me was like when Trump announced his campaign for the 2024 presidential election, and Sean Hannity and fellow goons were talking about how he was on fire and unstoppable, even though they weren’t actually listening to the speech.

Did Chris Rock bring his A-game? Now take it from a white guy but one who watches a lot of standups and has seen several of Rock’s previous specials, but no. He was not on fire and he didn’t bring his A-game…until the last ten minutes.

Don’t get me wrong. It was good, not great. But everybody’s talking about the last ten minutes.

Rock joked about getting his own daughter kicked out of school, dating women in their 40s and 50s, Meghan Markle’s shock that the royal family is racist, and how black people will look behind a baby’s ears to see what shade of black they’ll be when they’re older.

The ear thing was news to me, but again, I’m white. White people don’t have to look behind a baby’s ears to see what shade of white they’ll be because we know that baby’s gonna be white and won’t be judged by the tone of its whiteness. I was aware of black people being treated differently based on their skin tone, as those with darker skin will deal with more racism, but the ear-check was an education for me.

Another education for me was Lululemon which I had never heard of, but I know about yoga pants. My friends and I have long conversations about yoga pants, and we don’t wear yoga pants.

Some of his observations were funny and honest like if Beyonce wasn’t famous and worked at Burger King, she could still land a millionaire like Jay-Z because of how beautiful she is. But if Jay-Z wasn’t rich and famous, he’d never land a woman like Beyonce (which Jay-Z would probably agree with). And then Rock said, “Last thing I need is another mad rapper,” which was a reference to being slapped by Will Smith at the Oscars a year ago. It was a running joke as he said it again after a Snoop Dog joke.

I was OK with Rock joking that parents should be allowed to kill their children until they’re four because it’s a joke and I had a four-year-old (they’re tiny terrorists), but I didn’t like him saying that every abortion is killing a baby because it feeds into the anti-science fundamentalist zealotry talking point used by Republicans who are banning abortions. But he was right when he said to women, “If you have to pay for your own abortion, you should have an abortion.”

And then he got to the slap.

Rock has said little over the past year regarding the slap. He’s referenced it here and there in his standups that weren’t big specials on a streaming network. But he’s mostly stayed silent. He’s been applauded for being mature and dignified over the entire thing. Not anymore. On Saturday night, Rock slapped back and I don’t think Will Smith will ever recover.

Rock said he loved Will Smith and used to cheer for him but now, he said, “I watch ‘Emancipation’ just to see him get whooped.”

I don’t really care about celebrity feuds or take sides. I’m still on the fence about Van Halen versus David Lee Roth. I honestly don’t know for sure where this one stems from. From what I understand, Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett-Smith had an affair. Rock’s theory is that Smith took his anger about the affair out on him. Rock said, “She hurt him way more than he hurt me.”

If you remember, and you should, Rock hosted last year’s Oscars and told a joke about Jada’s baldness which made Will Smith walk onto the stage and slap Chris Rock. Rock said the slap still hurts and that he has “Summertime” ringing in his ears a year later. I got that joke because “Summertime” came out when I was still young and listening to new music.

Rock said there are four ways people can get attention in our culture: Showing your ass, being infamous, being excellent, or playing the victim. Rock said he’s not a victim and you won’t see him on Oprah or Gayle (which is something else I had to look up. Gayle King, right?). But, Rock did play the victim somewhat by claiming Smith took his frustrations out on him after so many other people had called him a “bitch.” But if you want to find a room full of victims, go to CPAC.

CPAC, which was also in Maryland over the weekend, but not Baltimore, is the annual convention of racist Republican assholes so quite naturally, its keynote speaker was Donald Trump. Former Trump fixer Michael Cohen said the room for Trump’s speech was only at 40 percent capacity, and this entire convention was a Trump event. Cohen is a professional liar but a reporter for Vanity Fair who’s been covering CPAC for the past decade said he’s “never seen it more dead.”

Trump read a boring speech off a teleprompter for over 90 minutes in which he tapped into old grievances and told the white crowd exactly what they want to hear, that they’re the victims. He told them, “I am your retribution.”

Retribution for what? Losing an election? Failing at a coup? Liberals making you fat? No, that was McDonalds.

Trump, who plays the victim card daily, told the white audience that they’re victims, which is what they want to hear. White conservatives claim they’re the most persecuted group in world history never mind that throughout most of history, white people were the persecutors. Colonization was started by white people and going back to Rock’s jokes about Meghan Markle when it comes to racism, the royal family is the Sugarhill Gang, the “O.G. of racism.”

“Selective Outrage” could be the slogan for the Trump 2024 presidential campaign.

I’ll give Chris Rock’s special a B while Trump’s deserves an F. At least Rock brought new material. Trump, who told over 30 lies during his speech, played his greatest hits. We’ll keep hearing those “hits” of grievances and lies over the next two years. What we probably won’t be seeing is a lot of new Will Smith movies.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Florida Man

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday

I drew this Friday before I had the idea for my last cartoon on DeSantis that also featured Trump and Mickey. That cartoon was on the Florida bill that would require bloggers to register with the state if they write about elected officials. This cartoon is more about Trump versus DeSantis for the Republican nomination.

There were two Republican conventions over the weekend that featured dueling speeches and messages from Trump and DeSantis. Trump spoke and lied at CPAC while DeSantis spoke at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. But there was another speech (of sorts) over the weekend that I found contrasted with what Trump said that I found more interesting, and you’ll see that in the cartoon I’ll post later today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: