Just another silly little bonus cartoon for you. Enjoy.
Watch me draw.
Just another silly little bonus cartoon for you. Enjoy.
Watch me draw.
Wanna learn something about me? Tough. You’re gonna hear it anyway.
Once, I was offered a job in a political campaign. Not just any position either, I was offered to be a campaign manager of a congressional campaign. You probably thought I didn’t have any skill or experience in that area. You were right.
It was 1994 and a Republican candidate offered me the position. This was the year the GOP with Newt Gingrich’s Contract with America was going to take the House. A Democrat had just retired from the district after serving 54 years, and this was in Mississippi. Everyone knew a Republican was going to take the seat. So, I turned it down.
I knew the candidate who offered me the position was going to lose, but that’s not why I declined. Every political operative works on a losing campaign. I had several other reasons to turn it down.
I didn’t have any experience and had only been in the newspaper business for four years. I didn’t want to be the reason a campaign failed. Even though my editors were willing to grant me a leave of absence, I didn’t want to leave journalism and enter politics even though it was tempting to see how the other side lives. But, the biggest reason I turned it down was that the campaign was going to be a flaming disaster going over a cliff.
My first clue was that they offered me the job of campaign manager. What the hell was wrong with them? I draw cartoons. I don’t get people elected to Congress. I wasn’t even a Republican. The candidate had no realistic chance of winning in a six-person primary, and they thought they did. I didn’t want to work with people who were that delusional. Finally, they, as in the candidate and his wife, gave me a really creepy vibe. I didn’t want to work, less enough be stuck in a car for 24 hours a day, with creepy stupid people. Ew. So I thanked them for the opportunity and politely refused. They ended up coming in 6th in the primary and the winner of that seat is now a United States senator, who I ended up meeting during the campaign (but this was Mississippi. You meet everybody).
I bet that’s why Nick Ayers turned down Trump’s offer to be his Chief of Staff. Quite frankly, it’s like being offered the job of captain of the Titanic AFTER it hit the iceberg. Look what it’s done to John Kelly, a four-star General. It’s reduced his respect and credibility to the same level as Omarosa’s. If a four-star General can’t reel Trump in and exert some control over the West Wing, what chance does a 36-year-old political operative have?
The Chief of Staff position is prestigious. It puts you in the seat of power and makes you a big time player in the world of politics. When you’re done, you either turn that prestige into major bucks in the corporate world or the speaking circuit, or you build your own political career, like Rahm Emanuel and Dick Cheney. So, why would someone as young as Ayers turn it down?
Serving as Trump’s Chief of Staff probably wouldn’t parlay into a future of huge rewards. You would have to be a total sycophant, and nobody respects those. You could be blackballed from jobs and even chased out of restaurants. And with Trump, you would most likely have to spend thousands on legal bills and quite possibly be indicted yourself. Do you want to go to prison for Donald Trump?
On top of all that, you can’t trust Trump. After setting an agenda, you would find out later from Twitter that Trump has changed his mind. There would also be ridiculous tweets and statements you would have to defend with a straight face. Look what that’s done to the faces of Kellyanne and Sarah Huckabee. The next CoS will also serve while Congress is controlled by Democrats and conducting multiple investigations on Trump, and Robert Mueller will be bringing the hammer down. Good times are not ahead for the Trump administration.
Later, after you’re fired, Trump will tweet to the world that you’re lazy and stupid like he did to his former Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. Trump demands loyalty while returning none.
Ayers isn’t the only one running from the job. Reportedly, OMB Director Mick Mulvaney and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin are sending signals to the White House saying, “Please, god no. Not me.” Dirty Jobs Mike Rowe is currently in the Witness Protection Program avoiding a call from Trump.
Trump will find a Chief of Staff. There are reports former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is under consideration. If you thought he couldn’t sink any lower than eating what Trump tells him to eat and making cheeseburger runs, just wait. Dignity will not be on the menu.
I kinda feel bad for the next babysitter because this is a big baby, and he makes big boom-booms.
Watch me draw.
Federal prosecutors have now accused Donald Trump, who is still president of the United States by some bad joke perpetrated by the universe, of committing two felonies.
What Trump did was direct his lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen to make illegal payments to a porn star and a Playmate who were threatening his presidential campaign in 2016. Trump initially denied any knowledge of the payments to the public, as though Cohen took it upon himself out of the goodness of his heart. Later, one of Trump’s mouthpieces, Rudy Giuliani, said that Trump paid Cohen back. Then, a recording was released of Trump discussing the payments with Cohen, and how it would be operated.
A court filing by federal prosecutors in Manhattan said Cohen “acted in coordination and at the direction of” an unnamed individual, clearly referring to Donald Trump.
A separate filing by the Special Counsel investigating Russia’s involvement in the 2016 campaign said an unnamed Russian offered Cohen “government level” synergy between Russia and the Trump campaign in November 2015. While Trump argued Saturday that he didn’t want Russia’s help, fourteen people in his campaign had contact with Russia. Keep that in mind the next time you hear a Trump sycophant argue there’s no evidence of collusion.
In a separate case on Friday, the Special Counsel accused Paul Manafort, Trump’s campaign chairman, of lying about his contacts with an individual they accuse of having ties to Russian intelligence, and about his interactions with Trump administration officials after he was indicted on criminal charges.
So, how did Trump interpret all of this? He tweeted, “Totally clears the President. Thank you!” That is the correct way to interpret it if he was talking about any of the 44 presidents before him (I was worried about Chester A. Arthur). As for him, no. He’s standing directly in the center of the bulls eye. Also, who the hell is he “thanking?”
As Michael Che said on Saturday Night Live, Trump can’t tweet something and magically make it true. Maybe Trump can buy some ruby slippers, click them three times, and say “there’s no place like no collusion.”
How do fourteen people communicate with Russia without colluding? How do fourteen people in the Trump campaign talk to Russians without Donald Trump ever knowing? How do Republicans ignore a president who commits felonies? Keep in mind; this is the stuff that’s NOT redacted. These two felonies are being called out by the Southern District of New York. Robert Mueller’s office hasn’t released their findings yet, so we can expect even more to pile up. Finally, Trump will be able to brag about having more of something than any other president, in addition to lies, wives, and sexually-transmitted diseases.
We’ve had three presidents accused of high crimes. Two were impeached and the third resigned in disgrace. Are we going to ignore the fourth? I think the House will impeach Trump, and the Senate, needing just 20 Republicans to do the right thing, will protect Trump. There are not 20 Republicans in the Senate who will put their nation before their party or a stupid cult of personality.
The American president operated his campaign with assistance by a hostile foreign power. This is as close to treason as one can get without being at war. Donald Trump is a traitor. The presidency should not be occupied by a traitor.
It’s bad enough it’s occupied by a dumbass with comprehension problems.
Watch me draw.
Donald Trump likes to hire people he thinks look good on television. White House sources said he was hesitant about hiring John Bolton as National Security Adviser because his mustache looks ridiculous. Walruses disagree.
Trump watches a lot of TV, specifically Fox & Friends. Morning schedules at the White House list the time block occupied by Trump’s favorite TV sycophants as “Executive Time.” Nothing else is scheduled in the mornings so Trump can watch his friends, and that’s probably not a terrible thing.
In addition to Bolton, he hired conspiracy theorist Joseph diGenova from Trump TV for his legal team before backtracking (sometimes you should actually meet the people first). He’ll stray and hire from other networks too. Interim Attorney General Mathew Whitaker was an occasional guest on CNN bashing Robert Mueller, and Larry Kudlow was a CNBC contributor before becoming director of the National Economic Council.
Going on Fox News is like auditioning for a job in the Trump administration. Sean Hannity would probably be under consideration to replace John Kelly as Chief of Staff if he wasn’t already Trump’s top political adviser.
Now, Trump is moving Heather Nauert from her position as spokesperson for the State Department to replace Nikki Haley as ambassador to the United Nations. Guess where Heather Nauert worked before Trump hired her? I’m only asking because if you read this blog then you probably don’t watch a lot of Fox News.
Nauert impressed Trump at the State Department, especially that time she used D-Day as an example of our warm relationship with Germany. I’m not kidding. But, why should Trump’s hires have any actual experience with the jobs he’s putting them in when he doesn’t have any himself? Quite frankly, he might as well have picked the My Pillow guy.
The My Pillow guy is Mike Lindell. Like Trump, he’s a pitchman. He built his company on infomercials which is pretty much what Trump’s time at the White House has been. Trump’s spokesgoons have hawked Trump products, the state department website has advertised his crap, and every weekend gives free promotion to a Trump resort.
Another thing Lindell has in common with Trump, other than creeping me out on TV, is that his products don’t meet his promises.
I’ll give Lindell credit for overcoming a serious drug problem to create a company that makes American products, even if it’s a shitty one (Amazon reviewers describe it as lumpy, crunchy-sounding, and as a bag full of chopped-up foam). Good for him. But, you can’t claim it treats fibromyalgia, restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea, cerebral palsy, and acid reflux, among others. About the only thing he didn’t promise was a four-hour erection. The company had to pay around a million dollars after being sued by several counties in California. The Better Business Bureau also lowered the company’s ratings from an A+ to an F because of their buy one, get one free offer. The pillows are fifty bucks, but if you buy two for $100 then you’re getting that second for free. Does that make sense? Just sell the pillows for fifty bucks, dude and stop screwing with sleep-kicky old people who watch Fox.
Lindell is also a big Trump supporter and has gotten to hang out with him at Mar-a-Lago. Does Cheeto dust wash off the pillow? He also likes Laura Ingraham, whose only reason for not using My Pillow is because she sleeps upside down. When advertisers were dropping her show after she made disparaging remarks toward school-shooting survivor David Hogg, My Pillow increased their advertising on her show by 62 percent. Basically, what you’re buying are hate pillows.
Trump told us he would hire the best and brightest. Later, he claims his former employees are stupid or weak, like Michael Cohen, Rex Tillerson, Jeff Sessions, and Omarosa. Later, he’ll say that he hired them out of sympathy. I don’t recall that on the campaign trail. You would think Attorney General would be too important for a sympathy job, but Trump treats it the same as letting that kid cut the White House grass. Did I see that kid on Fox & Friends?
The My Pillow Guy and his crunchy/lumpy pillow would fit right into this administration of grifters. Just beware of how Trump talks about his former hires.
Side note: I just hope you appreciate all the My Pillow ads I’m going to get now. And, if you see them on this site, sorry about that. It’s the algorithms. Don’t email me bitching about it.
Watch me draw.
Contrary to what a lot of Republicans believe, people do not enter this nation illegally to take advantage of social services and vote for Democrats. They enter this country for safety and employment.
Of course, it’s illegal to hire undocumented workers, but for some reason, they keep coming. That’s because American employers keep hiring them. There is a system called E-Verify where employers can check a potential hire’s papers to make sure it’s legal to employ them. But, there are companies that do not participate in this and will trust that the documents an immigrant provides are authentic. A lot of times, they know they’re not genuine, but they can claim ignorance if they’re ever caught. That’s exactly what the Trump Organization is doing, which is on an amazing streak of ignorance.
During the presidential campaign, Trump boasted that his new hotel in Washington was using E-Verify. Like he does about most issues, Trump was lying.
Victorina Morales works for Trump’s resort in Bedminster, New Jersey where she does jobs Americans don’t want, like making Donald Trump’s bed and cleaning his toilet. She entered the country illegally in 1999 and was hired by the Trump Organization using phony documents. She says the company knows she’s here illegally and there are several more employed like her. She says an employee of the golf course drives her and a group of others to work every day because it is known that they cannot legally obtain driver’s licenses.
Sandra Diaz entered from Costa Rica and is a legal resident now, but from 2010 to 2013, she too worked illegally at Bedminster.
Morales and Diaz told their story to The New York Times and said supervisors took steps to help workers evade detection and keep their jobs.
Morales says she feels she can no longer remain silent and is willing to risk her job and safety to speak out against Trump’s attacks on immigrants from Latin America, including equating them with violent criminals. She was also motivated by abusive comments from a supervisor at work about her intelligence and immigration status.
She says, “We are tired of the abuse, the insults, the way he talks about us when he knows that we are here helping him make money. We sweat it out to attend to his every need and have to put up with his humiliation.”
Donald Trump has used immigrants to make his bed, clean his toilet, and stoke fear into his racist base of supporters. He built his entire campaign from day one by vilifying immigrants, calling them “rapists,” and “murderers,” though he assumed some are “fine people.”
Those are probably the ones cleaning his toilet.
Watch me draw.
Like most things, Donald Trump does not understand the riots that have been ongoing in France. He retweeted a tweet from one of his sycophants saying the protests are about “radical leftists” fuel taxes and “We want Trump” was being chanted through the streets of Paris. Other conservatives have been claiming that the protests are against socialism.
The protests are partly about fuel taxes, which French president Emmanuel Macron planned to raise by about 30 cents a gallon and continue to increase over the next few years in a nation where gas is already over $7.00 a gallon. The protests aren’t against socialism, as the taxes aren’t going to social services. People aren’t screaming for an end to the government’s health and education system. And, there has been no chants of “we want Trump.”
Even the most rabid socialist doesn’t want to pay $7.00 a gallon for gas. This increase is hitting the middle class and hurting the rural population in France, making them feel that Macron has abandoned them and bailed on his promises.
Macron is using the tax to expand France’s economy and make it more pro-business. He’s trying to encourage the rich to invest more in the nation. A lot of people in France believe the rich are overtaxed, but they don’t want to be the ones to pick up the slack while cutting them a break.
Macron has actually been cutting social programs, scaling back labor protections, made it easier for companies to hire and fire, and fought unions to end subsidies. Shortly after taking office, he cut taxes for corporations and the wealthiest 10 percent of French households. He’s no Hugo Chavez.
France’s economy is growing, but slowly. Most of the growth is centered in the major cities, like Paris. The rural areas of the nation feel left out and the gas tax hurts them more than their urban countrymen, who don’t need to own cars as much.
The protests are more about an out-of-touch elitist president whose policies favor the wealthy and corporations at the expense of working-class French people than they are a middle-class rebellion against Marxism. And, they’re definitely not a call for a leader like Donald Trump. I doubt the French would want a president copying the mega tax cut Trump has given to the rich in the United States.
Donald Trump has experts in intelligence, economics, and foreign relations who can explain things to him. Of course, for him to learn from them, he would have to actually listen and comprehend the information. Unfortunately, the president of the United States is much like your crazy uncle and gets most of his information from memes on social media. This is why Trump still believes, even after having it explained to him twice by Bill Gates that HPV and HIV is the same thing. Why he’s harassing poor Bill Gates about that, I do not know.
Trump understands the French protests, HIV, and HPV about as well as he understands tariffs. Trump says he’s a “tariff man,” which is like saying he’s a tax guy. He brags that his tariffs are bringing in millions, not understanding that money is mostly coming from Americans paying for his stupid tariffs. Tariffs are taxes.
Now, thanks in large parts to Trump’s tariffs, the stock market is weakening and doing scary stuff, the economy is slowing down, Factories are closing, people are losing jobs, the deficit is growing even larger, and the U.S. trade deficit is at its highest level in over a decade. In fact, the deficit with China, in particular, is at a record high.
Trump lied about having a deal with China and the stock market started to rebound. When it was discovered, and the administration actually admitted, that Trump lied about a deal, the market started to tank again. Trump has based his entire economic prowess on the stock market and the trade deficit. Now, we’re seeing what we already knew. There is no prowess. Traders need to stop making decisions based upon the shit that comes out of Captain Dumbass’ mouth.
Tariffman is not a slow learner as there’s no learning whatsoever.
Watch me draw.
Denial is not a river in Egypt or a mountain in Alaska. It’s a perpetual state one must remain in to be a Donald Trump supporter.
Have you ever talked to a Trump supporter? It’s not just hopeful optimism they express for their leader. They deny stuff that actually exists. It’s like they never read the news. That’s where their denial starts.
Any news that’s negative on Trump is “fake news.” Many don’t believe Hillary Clinton won more votes than Trump. They don’t believe Trump is racist or sexist despite a history of racist comments and sexists behavior. They don’t recognize that our current economy is a trend started under Obama. Some of them actually denied it rained during his inauguration. They deny voter suppression is ongoing. Leading up to the midterms, they denied Democrats would take the House. A lot of them actually think Trump has great hair.
Their greatest denial is over Trump and Russia. They don’t see Trump being subservient to Vladimir Putin. They don’t believe Russia meddled. If there was any collusion, it was done by the Clinton campaign. One of their most repeated arguments is that there is no evidence that Trump or his campaign colluded with Russia.
Never mind the fact that none of them work for Robert Mueller in the Special Counsel’s office preventing them from knowing what he knows. But, they ignore that there were Russians in Trump Tower meeting with his son, son-in-law, and campaign manager. Somehow, writing a dossier is greater evidence of collusion that inviting spies into your building. They deny Russia engaged in a social media campaign when they were the very targets it worked on. They deny there are troll farms when they’re the cattle. They don’t seem to recall Trump asking Russia for help on the campaign trail or that he said more than once, “I love Wikileaks.” He may as well have shouted, “I love colluding.”
Even after Cohen’s guilty plea last week and news came out on his plea deal with the Special Counsel’s office, I still heard a few Trump sycophants say there wasn’t any evidence of collusion. They either haven’t watched any actual news since before last Thursday, or they don’t understand the definition of “evidence.”
When the Special Counsel finally makes his case, I expect we’ll see a lot of evidence. Well, the majority of the nation will see it. There will continue to be a large number of Republicans with blind spots.
I have been in an earthquake where some people didn’t feel anything, but for Trump supporters, the building is about to come crashing down on them. I’m looking forward to them feeling it.
Watch me draw.