Trump

Punch Drunk Trump


CNN09122021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

So what happened Saturday?

On the 20th anniversary of 9/11, Donald Trump provided live ringside commentary during a boxing match that cost pay-per-view viewers $49.99. The real show was Donald Trump as the match was stopped in the middle of round one because the 58-year-old Evander Holyfield, who hadn’t boxed in over a decade, was in danger of being killed by his opponent, 44-year-old Vitor Belfort.

Donald Trump did not care about any this, just like he didn’t care when he put the lives of elected officials, Capitol Police, his cult, and his own vice-president in danger on January 6. As long as Trump gets paid and attention, Trump only cares about Trump.

The fight was originally planned to be a bout between Teófimo López where he was to defend his unified light heavyweight championship against George Kambosos Jr in California. The rights to air the fight was won by Triller, a poor man’s TikTok, for $6 million. Triller has been trying to get into the boxing game and wanted to be taken seriously, but shit happens.

The date for the fight was moved, then moved again, and then Lopez caught the coronavirus and Triller needed a replacement fight. With a week’s notice, they got Belfort vs. Holyfield. Originally, they had Boxing Hall of Fame announcer Jim Lampley to call the fight, which brought a lot of legitimacy to Triller’s presentation. For the pay-per-view replacement fight, he was replaced with Trump and Donald Trump Jr. So long, legitimacy.

I’m shocked that the boxing profession, known for its long storied history of honesty, being on the up-and-up, and a system that purges any and all associations with conmen, would do business with Trump and Trump (sarcasm).

After all this shit, the  the California State Athletic Commission refused to sanction it (because someone could possibly be killed in the ring). So the fight was moved to Florida where anything goes like riding in cars with alligators through drive-thru liquor stores.

Donald Trump also went to a fire station in Manhattan (probably on Triller’s private jet which the use of was part of his payment) on the 20th anniversary and attacked President Biden’s handling of Afghanistan and to claim he won the election.

Then, he released a video attacking President Biden for surrendering to the Taliban without mentioning our president (the real one) was abiding by a peace treaty that our fake president (Trump) had negotiated with…wait for it…the Taliban.

An article in The New York Times referred to the boxing match as “three hours of Trump recalling different boxers he’d known and been friends with, before two depressing top bouts, both over in the first round, each of which featured one washed-up fighter beating another.”

Ryan Kavanaugh (no relation to the rapey Kavanaugh that I’m aware of), whose company owns a majority stake in the Triller app, said he was negotiating with Barack Obama to be a commentator on a future boxing match. According to an Obama spokesperson, “There is no offer and no negotiation.” Triller cliaims there are emails and texts to prove there have been negotiations but refused to offer proof. It’s hard to believe that someone associated with Trump and Trump would be so dishonest and deceptive (sarcasm).

Since there’s probably no way in Hell President Obama is going to call a boxing match for Triller, and since they are in business with the Trump and Trump, I’m shocked they’re not already selling the PPV. Soon, I expect Donald Trump to take a gig like one of those old washed-up fighters who get paid to have their photos taken with gamblers. Of course, it won’t be at any Trump casinos because Donald bankrupted those.

If you bought Triller’s PPV to hear Trump bark for three hours and saw less than five minutes of boxing (I’m guessing here), then you’re a fool and a sucker…

…just like everyone who voted for Donald Trump.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Palooka Trump


Untitled_Artwork

I have already posted this cartoon on Facebook and immediately, I got the question, “Is this a thing?”. Unfortunately, or thank the gods, it is a thing.

Donald Trump and his idiot underling namesake, Donald Trump Jr, will be doing ringside play-by-play commentary in Hollywood, Florida for a boxing match between Evander Holyfield and Vitor Belfort. These two guys are way out of their prime, out of shape, over the hill, out of their depth, in over their heads, and will probably only humiliate themselves and shouldn’t be anywhere near a boxing ring. The two boxers are probably too old for this too.

This fight will be on a boxing streaming platform (I’m not telling you where) and if you find it, it’ll cost you $49.99, which would be about two and a half orders of Trump straws.

As I said, these boxers are old. Holyfield is 58 and his opponent, Vitor, is old for for boxing too at 44, but a 14 year age difference between boxers isn’t a real competition. This is a joke. But nobody’s going to purchase this event to watch two old guys fight. They’re going to purchase this to watch two dumbasses bark for what will probably be two rounds of old guys punching. If you really wanted to watch two old guys slap each other silly, you could get that on a public bus for $1.25. Bonus: One or both of the old guys might be racist so you get the entire Trump package right there.

But other than praising Confederate generals and claiming their statues could have defeated the Taliban, this is the best way for Trump to put the attention back on him on 9/11.

What? 9/11? Yes, apparently, on the 20th anniversary of the terrorist attack that hit the Pentagon, destroyed the World Trade Center, and killed nearly 3,000 people, folks might be talking about something other than Donald Trump and his big stupid orange ass. Donald and Donald doing play-by-play of a geezer fight might just fix that and divert the attention back on Trump and Trump.

Those loser presidents, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden, will probably be observing the anniversary in some sort of solemn manner with dignity. Suckers. If they were smart, they’d be calling play-by-play for a mud wrestling match between Grimace the shake monster and Mayor McCheese and charge twenty bucks to see it on YouTube.

If another other former president was going to call a boxing match on 9/11, they’d be vilified on Fox News. But Trump doing it is exactly what MAGAt nation wants. Do you remember when Reagan was criticized for making paid speeches after his presidency, or when Clinton was criticized for doing the same thing? People are still screaming at Barack Obama for tan suits, mustard on burgers, and mom jeans. But charging to ramble word salads at a geezer fight is OK…if you’re Donald Trump. I mean, it’s not like anyone expects anything dignified from Trump anyway, or Coke Jr…I mean, Don Jr.

We don’t know how much Trump is being paid for this event, but reportedly, he’s bragged to friend that the amount is “obscene.” He’s also getting the use of the pay-per-view company’s private jet. I wouldn’t feel safe flying on a Trump plane either.

I have another not-so-bold prediction: In the future, Donald Trump will further reduce himself and do a wrestling event. He’ll probably be on some pay-per-view where he’s shaving Vince McMahon’s head. What? He already did that?

OK. Next prediction: Trump starts doing commercials with the General and Shaq, or with Shaq and Papa John’s (they fired their last racist), or Shaq and toner cartridges (every color except black and brown), or Shaq and home security, or Shaq and Icy Hot, or Shaq and Gold Bond, or Shaq and…you get the idea.

Or better yet, Trump joins Insane Clown Posse and raps about beating Biden’s ass. I mean, he’s already done half of that. No, not the beating. Just the bragging. Trump used this boxing event to speculate on him boxing someone and said, “I think probably my easiest fight would be Joe Biden because I think he’d go down very, very quickly.”

When the election was called for President Biden, he jogged to the podium to make his acceptance speech. The only thing that jogs on Trump are his man boobs while he’s breathing. I seriously doubt Trump would be any contest for President Biden as hes already got his ass kicked by him once before. Also, to get into the ring, there might be stairs.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Who’s Your Daddy?


Cjones08292021

I have put plenty of blame for the withdrawal of U.S. forces and refugees from Afghanistan on President Joe Biden. There is a lot of blame to go around, but the one thing I hate is when Democrats place all the blame on previous administrations as a way to deflect blame from President Biden. Yes, President Biden was handed a really bad deal, but he’s president. All presidents get bad deals from the previous administration.

Donald Trump walked into office hating basically everything the Obama administration left him that he couldn’t put his name on. He loved taking credit for the economy President Obama left him. He always boasted about how he made us energy independent even though President Obama had accomplished that in 2015.

But Donald Trump ripped apart our nuclear treaty with Iran. This move wasn’t just a stick in the eye to Iran, but a betrayal to every nation that was a partner in the treaty. Now, if Iran gets a nuclear weapon in the future, will Republicans go back and blame Donald Trump? Highly doubtful.

Donald Trump tore up the Paris Climate Agreement. He tore up NAFTA, which was left by the Clinton presidency. He tore up several other treaties, trade deals, and even attacked agreements made with NATO. Funny thing with NATO: He was screaming about our partners increasing their defense spending, which they had already committed to doing from pressure by President Obama. Most the new deals by the “greatest dealmaker” ever were just tiny adjustments that didn’t change much of anything.

Donald Trump even tore apart the plan left by the Obama administration on dealing with a pandemic.

What Trump did in a lot of cases was to NOT honor agreements made by the United States of America. He taught the world that not only couldn’t they trust any deal made with the President (sic) of the United States, but that they couldn’t trust the United States. The world is not overly confident we won’t elect another racist xenophobic corrupt loose cannon like Trump, if not Trump himself, in the future.

Here’s a guarantee: If Donald Trump does become president again (shudder), all the shit he created in his first administration will be blamed on President Biden. This isn’t a hard prediction to make.

What President Biden did with Afghanistan did was honor Trump’s deal. He extended the deadline a bit, but he kept America’s promise which still disgusts me since it was a Trump promise.

Trump is one of the daddies to this huge failure in Afghanistan. He tried to own the evacuation and campaigned on getting our people out. He set the date. He negotiated with the Taliban instead of the Afghanistan government. He tried to stage a photo-op with the Taliban at Camp David on 9/11, which failed because the Taliban…the fucking Taliban…didn’t trust him. Mike Pompeo did have a photo-op with the head of the Taliban, a guy the Trump administration helped get released from an Afghanistan prison. The Trump administration did all it could to deny refugees from entering our nation which created the visa backlog we’re dealing with now. Now, the Republican Party has erased everything about Trump and Afghanistan from all their websites. AfghaniWhoNow?

Trust me. Donald owns this right along with George W. Bush. If nothing else, Bush should have had a plan in place before leaving office. He didn’t.

George W. Bush is the daddy for our being in Afghanistan and Donald Trump is the daddy of this withdrawal failure and refugee crisis. Donald Trump has his nasty orange DNA all over it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Still Not Trump


CNN08222021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

When I heard that President Joe Biden was going to deliver more remarks last Friday on Afghanistan, my first thought was, “Stop.”

President Biden usually has a speech every day. Sometimes he does two. I think it might be a bit much in absence of press conferences, which he does occasionally. But he has done a good job showing he is on top of the issues and knows what he’s doing…until Afghanistan.

After Afghanistan fell to the Taliban, Biden took a day…and another before addressing the nation. He had to figure out what to say to the nation after his prediction, that the Taliban wouldn’t overrun the government, was proven wrong in 11 days. He never addressed that.

President Biden went from saying the Taliban won’t fail to it was inevitable to it’s not a failure. While saying the buck stops with him, he spread the blame. He even blamed Afghans for not wanting to leave, ignoring the backlog of visa applications before the troop withdrawal. As Biden likes to say, c’mon, man.

But at least he’s not Trump. Yes, a lot of this is the fault of Donald Trump who set the timeline, who negotiated with the Taliban instead of the Afghanistan government, who claimed the Taliban would fight terror which is like saying McDonald’s will fight obesity. And mostly, it was Donald Trump’s administration who did everything it could to prevent Afghan refugees from entering the United States. George W. Bush should also accept a lot of the blame because like with Iraq, there was never a plan to get out of Afghanistan.

For the record, while I was opposed to the invasion of Iraq, I totally supported the invasion of Afghanistan to the point of taking out the host of al Qaida, the terrorists who attacked our nation from Afghanistan. People forget that 9/11 was NOT the first terrorist attack against our nation committed by al Qaida from the comfort and security of Afghanistan, courtesy of the Taliban. But I was never in favor of nation building or staying in Afghanistan for two decades. That’s lunacy and history tells us it doesn’t work.

Being in Afghanistan is not President Biden’s fault. Withdrawing from Afghanistan is not President Biden’s fault. The way we conducted this withdrawal is partly President Biden’s fault. If Donald Trump left us in such a horrible position that a withdrawal would create a disaster such as this, then the current president should have done something about it. Maybe he should have gotten all those visas approved before we closed our embassy and gave up the military airfield. Just saying.

While you can blame Trump, you can’t look at this and say Biden has done a good job with it. But, you can say, “At least he’s not Trump.” Right?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

No More Like That Guy


Cjones08222021

Over at Fox News, the morons are at it again and they’re having a difficult time concealing their xenophobia.

Of course, it all starts with Tucker. Tucker Carlson claims if we let in Afghan refugees, it will be an invasion. Keep in mind, these refugees are being hunted down by the Taliban for working with America against terrorists. Their lives are in danger because they fought in the war on terror. Tucker and other Republicans believe these people are dangerous and not the likes of the Trump terrorists who stormed into the United States Capitol complex to overturn an election.

These people defend and cover up for real terrorists while fear mongering over hypothetical ones.

Tucker said, “If history is any guide, and it’s always a guide, we will see many refugees from Afghanistan resettle in our country in coming months, probably in your neighbourhood.” That’d probably be a good thing and much more preferable than having the Qanon Shaman move in next door…or Tucker.

Tucker believes in the Great Replacement Theory that Democrats are changing the demographics of the country through immigration to replace white people like Tucker. He believes this is part of that strategy. He also claimed that after immigrants arrive here, they start hating America. He says Representative Ilhan Omar “got worse” after she arrived to America and started hating this country. Dude, she got here when she was about 12 years old. Just because your maturity hasn’t advanced beyond that age, don’t believe others are as simplistic as you are. Trust me on this, we all get worse after 12.

Former White House goon, Stephen Miller, is now gooning on Fox News…which is something he did while we were paying him to goon for the government. Earlier this week, he brought his racism, xenophobia, and all-around ickiness to Laura Ingraham, who has spent years training to suppress her gag reflex to be around creepers like Miller.

Stephen Miller said, “The United States of America never, ever made a promise—written or unwritten—to the people of Afghanistan that if after 20 years they were unable to secure their own country that we would take them to ours.” Mostly, Miller is afraid that after they get here, they’ll laugh at spray-on hair.

Afghanistan veteran and former CIA analyst, Matt Zeller, said, “Stephen Miller never wore a uniform a day in his life. He’s a privileged little brat! He ought to be held for war crimes.”

Zeller put a lot of blame on Trump for the refugee crisis saying, “The reason all these people are stuck in Afghanistan right now is because the visa program created to get them here, it was purposely shut down by the Trump administration for the last four years.”

He also said, “The Trump administration came in and purposely destroyed it. The reason why all of these Afghans were stuck in Afghanistan for as long as they were in the first place is because those people made sure they couldn’t get out. As I said before, they’re as complicit as the Taliban are in these people’s deaths.”

I’m not worried about refugees who fought against the Taliban being a threat to our nation. I’m more worried about the MAGA goon who parked his truck on the sidewalk in front of the Library of Congress yesterday claiming he had a bomb.

The Capitol Police, a police force gaining experience with terrorism on a daily basis, negotiated with the man for hours before he surrendered. He didn’t have a bomb in his truck, but he did have bomb making material, including a propane tank.

The guy is a wannabe terrorist who is a Trump supporter. He livestreamed on Facebook that he wants President Biden and Democrats to resign. He’s really stressed out about the situation in Afghanistan. Maybe he’s afraid some Afghan refugee will become a terrorist and drive his pickup truck onto the sidewalk in front of the Library of Congress and make bomb threats.

The worst people we could bring to this nation would be people like Trump supporters. We don’t need more people like the pickup truck Trump terrorist (say that fast three times), Tucker Carlson, or Stephen Miller. I would rather replace each of them with an Afghan refugee who fought against terrorism.

Maybe we can make MAGAts refugees and export them to Afghanistan. We can do a swap. We get the Afghans who fought against the Taliban, and they get the MAGAts who staged a terrorist attack against the United States.

Trumpers and the Taliban have a lot in common.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Taliban Reinstatement


Cjones08182021

At least the MyPillow Qnut got one thing right. There was a reinstatement this weekend by knuckle-dragging cave-dwelling conservative sexist troglodyte fundamentalists who have zero respect for science and will take power against the will of the people. Mike Lindell just got the wrong extremists.

Mike Lindell and other Qnuts predicted Donald Trump would be reinstated on August 13, which was last Friday. If he had predicted it was to be a reinstatement weekend, he would have been correct, except it wasn’t for Trump.

The image of the Taliban sitting inside the presidential palace is probably as disturbing to Afghans as the image of MAGA terrorists storming through our nation’s Capitol building carrying the Confederate flag. If Donald Trump could retake control of our government through a civil war, he would do it. A lot of his supporters are discussing this.

Donald Trump is NOT a constitutionalist. The entire MAGA movement that’s supposed to make America great again is anti-Constitution. Constitutionalists don’t try to overturn elections or call for Myanmar-style coups.

Donald Trump sent his goons to overturn the election in several states. He called state election officials and told them to “find the votes.” He didn’t even tell them to find every “lost” vote. He only asked them to find just enough for him to win. He called his MAGAts to Washington on January 6 to stop the certification of the election. Even after Congress was attacked, 147 Republican/MAGAt members voted to overturn the election for Trump and the terrorists. Since that attack, Trump has expressed no remorse for the Capitol Police officers who died and those who were wounded. Instead, he’s expressed outrage over the death of one of his terrorists. And, yes. Ashli Babbitt was a terrorist.

If Donald Trump wanted to help his MAGA terrorists destroy our nation, he should have given them as much support as he gave to the Taliban.

Trump invited the Taliban to Camp David for a photo-op…on 9/11. He and Mike Pompeo, his stupidass Secretary of State, demanded the release of over 5,000 Taliban members imprisoned by the legitimately-elected Afghan government, including Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar, who is now declaring himself the new president. While Trump didn’t get his photo-op with the Taliban, Pompeo got one. Trump and Pompeo negotiated the withdrawal of American troops from Afghanistan, not with the Afghan government, but with the Taliban. Donald Trump and Mike Pompeo claimed the Taliban would help fight the war on terror which would be like saying dirt, grime, and soap scrum will join the shower-cleaning fight with Scrubbing Bubbles.

It should also be noted, the Taliban endorsed Donald Trump in the 2020 election.

When the Taliban controlled Afghanistan 20 years ago, only Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates recognized them. The Taliban has barely had the capital, Kabul, for 24 hours, but they’re already being recognized by China and Turkey says they’re willing to talk and open diplomatic relations. But Donald Trump had recognized and legitimized the Taliban back in 2020.

Let Afghanistan be a lesson. While people are shocked the Taliban can recapture the government after 20 years out of power, this is exactly what Republicans are trying to do to our nation. Like the Taliban, Trump and MAGAt America are willing to retake our government against the will of the people. At a conservative conference for fucknuts, former Trump national security adviser, now-disgraced general, and recipient of a Trump pardon, Michael Flynn, endorsed the idea of having a Myanmar-style coup to restore Trump to power.

Donald Trump and his MAGAts are just as horrible and oppressive as the Taliban. They both will imprison political opposition, oppress women, allow a tyrant to rule the nation, and dictate law according to religion.

All those MAGATs who attacked the capitol, the MyPillow Guy, Michael Flynn, Roger Stone, Sidney Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Fox News, every Republican groveling to Trump, and the entire Trump family are the Trump Taliban. Everyone who believes Trump won the 2020 election are the Trump Taliban. Everyone who believes or wishes he’d return to power without being elected are the Trump Taliban. When we oppose the Trump Taliban, we’re not just fighting for our political will. We’re fighting to save our nation.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trump Bash


Cjones08092021

Kids, I started this cartoon around midnight, thinking I was just going to get a head start with the lettering. It got out control. I finished drawing most of it around 6:00 A.M. I returned to it around noon and finished at about 3:30 P.M. I’m tired. You’re not getting a blog for this. I’m only human. What do you want from me, blood?

See you tomorrow.

Update: I want to add one thing. If you’re going to defend the Sturgis biker rally, then you can’t get upset over Obama’s birthday bash. And it goes both ways.

To my liberal colleagues going after Sturgis, keep those motorcycle metaphors coming. Vroom, motherfuckers, vroom. I’ve already seen four of them (and Steve Sack killed it). The things that bother me about these cartoons is they’re all repeating the same concept, they know it, they’re not putting a lot of thought into it, and finally…you’re probably not going to catch covid while riding a motorcycle. I’m a cartoonist so I know metaphors are not to be taken literally…but they’re are literally on motorcycles where they are not going to catch covid.

Is Sturgis a super spreader event? I don’t think it is any more than was Lollapalooza, Foo Fighters concerts (they’re on tour), football games, or wrestling shows (they’re back too, so snap into a Slim-Jim. Is that still a thing?). The only real difference between these and Sturgis is that the fuckers at Sturgis are probably 99 percent anti-vaxxers. But if they’re mostly outside, they’re probably OK.

I think Sturgis was a larger concern last year. But if everyone else is allowed to resume normalcy, then the bikers can too. Still, everyone should get the vaccine.

Update update: Oops. I just read that Lollapalooza required vaccination cards or proof of a recent negative covid test, which is something I think all large events should be requiring. I’m pretty sure the Foo Fighters’ Madison Square Garden concert also required such measures. I’m not sure about other venues or what sports and fake sports are doing. What’s NASCAR doing? Sturgis is not being as responsible as some of the other events….so my views now are very mixed on it.

Update Update Update: I knew about the requirement for vaccinations or tests at Obama’s party, then totally forgot about it. I’m not happy with myself for that. Yes, it is bad optics for Obama to have this party but it’s not comparable to Sturgis.

I think Obama started planning his party before the Delta Variant made things even worse. And while his original plans were for 500 people, he did scale that back. The attendance at Sturgis may be over 700,000. I would think if it’s mostly outdoors; then according to CDC guidelines, they should still be OK unless the guidelines have changed because of the Delta Variant. There will be a lot of indoor stuff happening in bars and tattoo parlors. A lot of these people are going to need to get drunk before getting a tattoo that says, “I got this tattoo at Sturgis.” Still, nobody is going to catch covid while riding a motorcycle.

Even if nobody comes out of Sturgis with covid, I still think everyone should get the vaccine. This is now a pandemic of the unvaccinated and it’s amazing those facts aren’t moving more people to get vaccinated. The United Kingdom has fully reopened while over 80 percent of each UK nation has been vaccinated. The numbers of positive cases are dropping in the UK which can also be attributed to warmer weather and that the population is still exercising caution while reopening, but the other factor is vaccines work.

So whether you’re going to Obama’s birthday party, Sturgis, Foo Fighters, WrestleMania, NASCAR, or your local coffee shop, you should get the vax. Stop being a whiny baby, shut up, and get the vax.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

And now…we have a jigsaw puzzle.

 

Trump Cabinet


Cjones08082021

You can be forgiven if your first response to hearing Donald Trump is meeting with his cabinet at one of his golf clubs is, “What fucking cabinet? Is he insane?”

Yes. Donald Trump is insane. What’s worse is that people we suspect may not be totally bonkers are enabling his insanity.

If you know someone who thinks he’s Napoleon, you should probably call specialists who send trucks to pick up people like that instead of enabling him with something like, “Pardon, me sir…but will Lady Josephine be joining us at Waterloo today?”

Mark Meadows, Trump’s chief-of-staff from when he actually was president (sic), told Newsmax he visited Trump at Bedminster in New Jersey and, “We met with several of our cabinet members tonight.”

Uh, what cabinet? Let’s make something clear. Donald Trump does NOT have a cabinet because Donald Trump is NOT president. Maggie Haberman of The New York Times said, “I can’t stop thinking about this interview. The former chief of staff is talking as if there’s a shadow presidency going on (there isn’t) at a time when there’s a conspiracy theory that Trump will be reinstated (he won’t).”

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics, a non-partisan watchdog group, said, “We can’t believe we have to say this, but no, Donald Trump is not secretly running the country from a golf course in New Jersey.”

I can’t believe I have to say this but Donald Trump is NOT the president.

There are people who still believe Donald Trump is the president. There are others who believe he was robbed and will return to the presidency on August 13. There are people who believe both, that he’s still the president and he’ll be reinstated as president…don’t ask me how that works. Donald Trump is selling all of this.

Lin Wood, a pro-Trump attorney, recently told a crowd of MAGAts, that Trump “is still the guy the military will call” in the event of a crisis. He added that President Joe Biden only APPEARS to be president. Yeah, winning an election, living in the White House, and signing bills into laws will give off that appearance.

Here’s a free legal tip: When hiring a lawyer, ask him or her if they support Donald Trump and if they think he’s still president. If the answer is yes to either, find another lawyer.

Mark Meadows will not identify the members of this cabinet. Here’s a fun fact, presidents don’t have secret cabinets. Cabinet members have to be confirmed by the United States Senate. It’s really hard to keep their identities concealed during confirmation hearings in the Senate. You don’t just pluck fuckers off a golf course and install them into a presidential cabinet. No. You do that with ambassadorships.

But Donald Trump is nuts. He probably believes he has a cabinet because he thinks he’s still president and will be reinstated on August 13. What I need to know now is, what date are they going to claim after August 13 passes and Trump is still just a whiny wedding crashing conspiracy-spreading lunatic on a golf course?

Mike Lindell, the MyPillow lunatic, believes Trump will be reinstated on August 13. There are members of Qanon who believe Trump is secretly controlling the military and they’ll overthrow the Biden presidency for him on August 13. These people don’t seem to understand they are opposing democracy. Donald Trump, in direct opposition to democracy, is trying to become a fascist dictator. We don’t install or reinstate presidents. Presidents in this country are elected.

Is Donald Trump forcing is secret golf club cabinet to sign documents stating the election was corrupt? That’s what he attempted to do with the Justice Department before the insurrection at the Capitol by his white nationalist terrorists.

On December 28, Jeffrey Clark, a Trump goon in the Justice Department and acting head of the Civil Division, addressed a letter to the governor of Georgia and state legislative leaders stating the department was “investigating various irregularities” in the presidential contest and that it had “identified significant concerns that may have impacted the outcome of the election.” It proposed that the Republican-controlled Georgia legislature call a special session, ignore the will of the voters, and send alternate electors to Congress on January 6 giving the state’s electoral college votes to Donald Trump. The Georgia state legislature didn’t do that but now they are changing the laws giving them the power to basically do just that.

The acting attorney general, Jeffrey Rosen, and acting deputy attorney general, Richard Donoghue, rejected the letter. Donoghue wrote, “It is not the Justice Department’s place to tell states how to overturn election results.” I don’t know if Georgia ever got the Trump goon’s letter, but they did get a phone call from Trump telling them to overturn the election.

Donald Trump called election officials in Georgia and told them to “find me the votes.” He was demanding they create votes out of thin air and overturn the election in his favor. He even threatened them with criminal charges if they didn’t comply. He told them, “All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have because we won the state.”

On December 15, Trump called Rosen into the Oval Office to insist he file legal arguments claiming the election was stolen. Rosen refused.

This is where it gets good.

On December 27, Trump called Rosen at the Justice Department and told them they “may not be following the internet the way I do,” because they weren’t aware of all the conspiracy theories he had read and believed about the election being stolen. I mean, why couldn’t the Justice Department just take Sidney Powell’s word for it? Why couldn’t the Justice Department just release that invisible “kraken?” At the very least, can’t the acting attorney general spend a few hours every day scrolling through 4chan?

According to notes taken by Donoghue, Rosen told Trump he needed to “understand that the DOJ can’t + won’t snap its fingers + change the outcome of the election, doesn’t work that way.”

The notes record Trumps response as, “I don’t expect you to do that. just say that the election was corrupt + leave the rest to me and the R. Congressmen.”

Two days later, Trump sent Rosen and Donoghue a draft lawsuit he hoped would be filed with the Supreme Court. It was a duplicate of a lawsuit filed by the state of Texas the court had already declined to hear. That was the lawsuit where Republican Trump goons in Texas filed a lawsuit against another state’s election. Maybe that Texas attorney general is on Trump’s secret golf club cabinet.

Trump’s goon in the Justice Department, who had written the conspiracy letter encouraging Georgia to overthrow its election, continued to spread conspiracy theories in the department. Trump was loudly speculating about firing Rosen, who had just replaced William Barr as AG, and replacing him with Clark. On December 31, Rosen and Donoghue called Clark in and told him to cut the shit with the “stolen election” conspiracy theories. Keep in mind that in less than a month, none of these guys would still be in the Justice Department.

Donald Trump tired to steal the election. He tried to overturn it. He had enablers and goons in Congress, states, and the Justice Department helping him try to overturn the election. He initially refused to comply with the transition. He still has not conceded defeat. He tweeted for his supporters to gather in the capital on January 6 to stop the certification of the election saying it was “going to be wild.” On January 6, he held a rally in the capital telling his supporters to “march to the Capitol.” The intention was to stop the certification with a terrorist attack. After the attack, Republicans in Congress still voted to overturn the election. That would have been like Republicans destroying the Pentagon after al Qaida flew a plane into it.

That terrorist attack, the Republicans who voted to overturn the election, Republicans who voted against investigating the attack, and Republicans in states who tried to overturn the election are the reasons why it’s dangerous for people like Mark Meadows to make claims about Trump having a cabinet. It’s dangerous to enable Donald Trump in his claims he’s running a secret government. It’s dangerous because there are MAGAts who want August 13 to be just like January 6, except actually overturning the government this time. While they can’t succeed in overthrowing an election ten months after it happened, they can succeed in creating violence, weakening our democracy, and hurting a lot of people in the process.

Donald Trump can put all the idiots he wants on his pretend cabinet and keep playing fake president, but come August 13 and after, Joe Biden will still be the president of the United States of America.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

GOP Comedy Night


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Greg Gutfeld is a very unfunny person who thinks he’s funny. Fox News must think he’s funny because he has a show…but then again, Laura Ingraham has a show there too and it’s impossible, even for Fox News fuckers, to find her funny. But Greg Gutfeld is at least supposed to be funny. He does a show where he’s very sardonic which he mistakes for sarcasm. Instead of being funny, Gutfeld is cruel. But why is Greg Gutfeld so unfunny? It’s because he’s a Republican.

Republicans suck at humor. In fact, they believe cruelty is hilarious. Ever watch a Trump rally on TV? Ever been to a Trump rally? It’s horrible. The truth is, liberals own humor. No, not every liberal is funny but every funny person is a liberal. It’s the trade off for not every Republican being racist, but every racist is a Republican.

Here’s the difference: Greg Gutfeld bills himself as the conservative Jon Stewart (except Jon Stewart is actually funny). No comedian, or anyone for that matter, will EVER refer to him or herself as the liberal Greg Gutfeld. Now, if someone ever says you’re the liberal Greg Gutfeld, that means they don’t think you’re funny. That would actually be funny.

Why do Republicans suck at humor? They’re not critical thinkers. Ever meet a funny lemming? I’m sure open mic nights at your local cult is chock full of amazing talent.

They tend to punch down which is never funny. Beating up on the disadvantaged is mean, not funny. Beating up on assholes in power is hilarious. It’s better to hit people who deserve it. For example: It’s not funny to make fun of your grandfather for having dentures or for wearing an adult diaper. But it’s HILARIOUS to make fun of Donald Trump for having dentures and wearing an adult diaper. Now, if you’re grandfather is an old evil fuck, then have at it.

When I was freelancing for The Costa Rica Star, I had a very unfunny pro-Trump conservative editor (conservative Canadian in Costa Rica. Why? I don’t get why people who hate brown people retire to Central America and then act like they own the place). He once asked me to draw a cartoon making fun of immigrants fleeing for their lives into Costa Rica from Honduras. He thought punching down on them would be hilarious. Naturally, I found a polite way to tell him to go fuck himself which would have been hilarious if that wasn’t a metaphor for me simply saying, “No.”

Which brings us to metaphors and analogies. Republicans suck at them. For example, some Republicans are comparing Britney Spears being in a conservatorship controlled by her father to a controlling big government. Based upon that analogy, every Republican should be controlled by the government because they’re fucking dangerous to themselves and everyone else around them.

Republicans don’t do well with hypocrisy. They think golf jokes about Obama are hilarious while golf jokes about Trump don’t exist.

But Republicans do find each other funny. Last weekend, Kevin McCarthy told a joke to a large Republican crowd about hitting Nancy Pelosi with a gavel. The entire crowd laughed. How is it funny to joke about hitting an old lady with a large heavy wooden object? The point is cruelty. Remember when Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a “slut?” His audience loved that shit. Was “feminazi” ever funny? Rush’s audience seemed to think so.

They also thought Donald Trump was hilarious. They’re right. He is hilarious, but inadvertently. Him telling cops to rough up people they were arresting and “don’t be too nice” isn’t funny. But him believing he’ll be reinstated and he still has a “cabinet” because he thinks he’s still president is extremely funny. Who’s in this cabinet? The MyPillow Guy and the person who cleans his golf balls?

Donald Trump can’t tell a joke while President Obama can.

When going down the list of recipients for the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2016, President Obama said, “Today, we celebrate extraordinary Americans who have lifted our spirits, strengthened out union, pushed us towards progress. I always love doing this event, but this is a particularly impressive class. We’ve got innovators and artists … public servants, rabble rousers, athletes, renowned character actors, like the guy from ‘Space Jam.” That “guy from Space Jam” was Michael Jordan.

Donald Trump would never have been able to muster the nuance, timing or subtleness to pull off that joke. In fact, Trump probably doesn’t get it. You’d have to explain it.

You see, Donald…there are a bunch of celebrities there and many of them are movie stars. But Michael Jordan is there for his athletic achievements though he did make one movie…and that’s where the joke comes in…oh, never mind. The dog gets it.

Contrast that to when Donald Trump was honoring Navajo veterans of the second world war in the White House. Trump told them, “You were here long before any of us were here. Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas.” For extra humor, Trump told the joke from a podium placed in front of a portrait of Andrew Jackson.“ Trump stood there like Fozzy Bear going, “Ah? Ah? Get it? Pocahontas?” Even if that joke wasn’t racist, it doesn’t work. For one thing, the teller of the shitty old-person joke is older than Elizabeth Warren.

Trump had been on a roll of making racist attacks against Elizabeth Warren and used the event with native Americans to continue his racist attacks. The scary thing is, this joke may have been written for him. If so, probably by Stephen Miller, who is at least funny looking. Also, being a Jewish Nazi isn’t as funny as it is seriously fucked up.

How bad is Donald Trump at getting humor? He was told for months that the Pocahontas shit wasn’t funny and was extremely racist. For Trump, knowing it pissed people off, that was funny. It’s not. It’s like still believing gay and racist jokes are funny.

Even Trump’s staff knew his jokes sucked because they had to explain each of them. Asking Russia to help him win an election? Joke! Him wanting to slow down coronavirus testing? That was another joke. Shooting disinfectant up your ass to fight the coronavirus? Way over the media’s head. The only thing funny with Trump and the virus was when Trump ignored all advice and caught the virus.

It’s funny when shit happens to assholes.

I can understand to a degree why Republicans are so mean and miserable. All they have for humor is Greg Gutfeld, Tim Allen, and Dennis Miller. To be fair, Dennis Miller wasn’t funny when he was a liberal either. Republicans don’t think Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah, or Stephen Colbert are funny. It’s like thinking Jay Leno is funny but Conan O’Brien isn’t. And have you seen conservative political cartoons? There has not been a funny conservative political cartoonist since Jeff MacNelly died. Today, there is not one funny conservative political cartoonist in the nation. Though I have to admit, I think a good portion of the liberal cartoonists are boring too. You can’t be funny when you’re all telling the same joke.

Some of my colleagues often say political cartoons don’t have to be funny. That is true, but the only political cartoonists who harp on about that are the ones who are never funny.

The entire point of Republican humor is the cruelty. If you think conservatives are funny, then you’re probably an asshole.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Orders From The Top


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A couple days ago, a right-wing oafish cartooning colleague of mine tweeted that comparisons between Donald Trump sending his white nationalist terrorists to attack the Capitol in order to overturn a democratically-held election to install him as a fascist dictator and Charles Manson sending his followers to murder nine people, was wrong.

The people who don’t accept the comparison also don’t believe the attack was an insurrection and have a lot of trouble with the word “terrorists.” But the comparisons are valid.

First off, they’re both cults. If you don’t think the comparisons are valid, you’re probably in one of the cults. And if you’re in the Manson Family cult, then you’re probably really offended being compared to a bunch of MAGAts.

There is no evidence Charles Manson ever ordered the murders. There’s no evidence he ever told any of his followers to kill anyone. But he did send them out and they did commit murders, most notably, pregnant actress Sharon Tate.

Charles Manson was found guilty of first degree murder in seven of the killings. The prosecution argued his ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy.

His ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy. That is important to note.

Donald Trump’s ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy which led to the attack on the United States Capitol complex. The people who share his ideology, which is a cult worship of Trump, are still denying it ever happened.

The people who followed Manson and who follow Trump are lunatics. They are cult members.

Donald Trump told his cult to be at the Capitol that day….to come to Washington. He tweeted it was going to be “wild.” His campaign spent $2.7 million to rally the terrorists. Donald Trump told them to march on the Capitol. They carried nooses and other assorted weapons. They brought zip ties. They chanted to hang Mike Pence. They called out for Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff, and Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. They barged in by overrunning the Capitol Police. Five people died.

Charles Manson was not with his followers when they committed the murders. Trump was not with his followers either, but he said he would be. Trump did get to watch it on TV. According to reports, it made him really happy. When asked to call off the terrorists, he refused for hours. Even when he did call them off, he told them that he loved them and they were “very special.” That is a cult. Your cult leader loves you and says you’re “very special.”

Manson told his family he loved them.

Manson was tried by a jury. Trump was tried by the Senate, which was full of his cult members. Manson’s jury didn’t seat any members of his cult. Why? Because that would have been insane and wouldn’t have been a real trial.

There needs to be a real trial for Donald Trump, and as far away from politics as possible. No Trump cultists should be allowed to sit on the jury.

Donald Trump’s ideology constituted an overt act of conspiracy. He needs to be tried for that.

By the way, another thing Trump and Manson have in common is they’re both white supremacists.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: