Trump

Trump Booty Club


Cjones04092021

We have more developments in the Matt Gaetz sex-trafficking story. Are you really surprised?

As you know, Matt “Giggity” Gaetz isn’t just a Republican moron occupying a seat in Congress. He’s not just your typical douchey frat-boy sleazebag. He’s a huge Trump sycophant. The only time the word “dignity” and Matt Gaetz have been in a sentence together is this one.

Matt Gaetz defended Trump during the Mueller investigation. He defended Trump during both of his impeachments. He wore a gas mask on the floor of the House after Trump mocked the coronavirus. He flew to Wyoming to campaign against fellow Republican Liz Cheney after she voted to impeach Trump. He even nominated Donald Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize.

If you ever want to not win a Nobel Peace Prize, make sure your nomination is from Matt Gaetz.

Gaetz also kissed Trump’s ass when it came to pardons. He publicly encouraged Trump to pardon his goons like Roger Stone. He said Trump should pardon that Tiger guy, Joe Exotica. He even encouraged Trump to pardon himself. He said those pardons would save them from the “bloodlust” of their political opponents. Now, we’re discovering he privately asked Trump to give him a pre-emptive pardon.

The Justice Department is conducting an “inquiry” into whether or not Matt Gaetz was boinking a 17-year-old, engaging in sex trafficking, and paying for sex. Matt Gaetz has publicly denied ever having sex with a 17-year-old since he was 17, or ever having to pay for sex. But if you have to publicly deny ever paying for sex, you probably paid for sex. And, there are other means of paying for sex than cash transactions. You can trade sex for drugs. It can work like trading a Nobel nomination for a presidential pardon.

It’s not clear if Matt Gaetz knew the Justice Department was eyeballing him when he made the request for a pardon, but why would anyone ask for a pardon? Usually, you ask because you’re under investigation, have been found guilty, or you know you’re guilty. If Matt Gaetz was unaware he was being investigated, then he was asking for a pardon because he knew he doing some corrupt shady shit. When asked what he needed the pardon for, is that where he uses “Yadda, yadda, yadda”?

You know, there was this girl, a state line, some ecstasy, yadda, yadda, yadda, giggity, giggity.

He also asked for pre-emptive pardons for several congressional allies. Golly, I wonder who they might be and why they would need pardons.

A spokesgoon for Matt Gaetz released a statement saying, “Giggity,” I mean, “Entry-level political operatives have conflated a pardon call from Representative Gaetz — where he called for President Trump to pardon ‘everyone from himself, to his administration, to Joe Exotic’ — with these false and increasingly bizarre, partisan allegations against him. Those comments have been on the record for some time, and President Trump even retweeted the congressman, who tweeted them out himself.”

Donald Trump once thanked Gaetz for defending him in a tweet, and for intimidating witnesses on his behalf and said he is a “great talent, young, handsome,” and predicted Gaetz was “going places,” which will probably be prison.

But the thing is, Mr. Spokesgoon, according to The New York Times, four White House officials, and others briefed on the matter, have validated that Matt Gaetz sought a pardon for himself. Matt Gaetz hasn’t denied it yet and if he does, it’ll be as believable as his denial he’s never paid for sex. And from Matt Gaetz’s face, which has Butt-Head looking for a new look, I’d say he’s probably had to pay some blind prostitutes for sex.

A buddy of Matt Gaetz, a Florida tax collector, has been indicted on a bunch of charges, including sex trafficking of a minor. The Justice Department continues to add charges to this goon and many are predicting he’ll sell Gaetz out for time off his sentence. Two of Gaetz’s Florida connections have told The Washington Post that Gaetz bragged to them that he met women through this tax collector. Can you deduct ecstasy?

How hard of a decision is it to send Matt Gaetz to prison so you don’t go? The good news here for Gaetz is: If he goes to prison, he won’t have to pay for sex…though he may be the currency.

Matt Gaetz is a sleaze. We know this. While he was in the Florida legislature, Matt Gaetz was just one of two members of the state house to vote against a porn-revenge bill. The bill aimed at preventing people from sharing sexually explicit photos of their ex-partners online. According to Tom Goodson, a retired Florida legislator, Gaetz believes any sexually explicit photo a lover may give him is his to do with as he pleases. Goodson said from a conversation he had with Gaetz, “He thought that any picture was his to use as he wanted to, as an expression of his rights.”

You gotta fight…for your rights…to share naked photos of your ex girlfriends with other Republican goons.

That probably explains why Matt Gaetz, according to some members of his own party, was showing off naked photos on the House floor of women he claims to have slept with. What’s he going to do next on the House floor, throw a kegger?

Right now, I would like to offer my sympathy to any woman who has ever slept with Matt Gaetz. If you shagged with Gaetz, I am so sorry. We all have regrets. Once, I mistakenly asked for sushi in a hand roll, which is when it’s shaped like a sushi ice cream cone. Never again. Probably not the same thing as sleeping with Gaetz though.

There should be laws against showing off naked photos of women without their permission. Even if it’s not illegal, it’s a sleazy thing to do. Matt Gaetz is a sleaze. He is another reminder of what the Republican Party under Donald Trump has become.

Can we just stop electing people who support pedophiles, terrorists, racists, perverts, Putin, and frat-boy goons like Matt Giggity Gaetz?

No matter what these women are doing in these photos, they have yet to debase themselves to the point that Gaetz, as a Trump sycophant, has debased himself. Matt Gaetz was a sleazy dirtbag and a public humiliation long before the Justice Department started investigating him.

Creative note: I used Quagmire in a cartoon on Matt Gaetz last Saturday…and later that evening, Saturday Night Live used it too. Just for the record, I was first. Giggity.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Recurring Grifting


Cjones04072021

Donald Trump is a grifter and grifters gotta grift.

We know Trump is a grifter. The people who don’t want to accept that fact, despite the overwhelming evidence, are members of the Trump cult.

When Trump ran for president in 2016, he boasted how he didn’t need donations…while he accepted donations. Every politician accepts donations. But Donald Trump, being a “businessman” who owns hotels and golf resorts, found ways to put those donations into his own pocket.

His campaign headquarters were in Trump Tower on 5th Avenue in New York City. Donald Trump charged his campaign for rent. He overcharged his campaign for rent. His campaign held event at Trump hotels and resorts…and the properties overcharged for those events.

As president (sic), he winked-winked and nudged-nudged he was accepting bribes and that to get in his good favor, you should spend money at his properties. Every conservative lobbying group and foreign interest held events, parties, and fundraisers at Trump properties, especially in Washington, DC. Foreign governments, like Saudi Arabia, would rent rooms at Trump hotels while the top diplomats would actually stay in hotels Trump didn’t own, probably because they wanted to stay somewhere better and not get bedbugs from sleeping on an infested mattress.

Remember the video of a Republican event shortly after Trump was sworn in and there were people throwing up heils? Yeah, that was the Washington Trump Hotel.

Usually, when people kiss their boss’ ass, they use flattery. You would think with Donald Trump, they’d tell him his ill-fitting suits looked wonderful or that the thing on his head didn’t look like a bleached weasel carcass. But no. Attorney General William Barr wanted to throw a party, so he spent around $30,000 to hold it at the Trump Hotel in Washington. You would think suppressing investigations into Trump goons, lying about Russian meddling, and dropping a huge deuce on the Mueller Report would be enough ass kissing. But not William Barr, who felt the need to hand Trump $30,000.

There are places that specialize in selling mattresses. They’re called retail stores. That’s where a normal non-corrupt person would purchase a mattress. Scott Pruitt, who was on the Trump cabinet at the time as director of the Environmental Protection Agency (in charge of dropping deuces on the environment), inquired about purchasing a used mattress from the Washington Trump Hotel. You would think after hearing the Russian hooker pee-pee story, even if it’s not true, Donald Trump would be the last person you would buy a used mattress from.

Trump didn’t just grift from his campaign, friends, and foreign governments. He grifted us too. He went to his own golf resorts as often as he could. He charged the government for rooms used by White House staff and the Secret Service. The Secret Service actually had to book rooms they never actually used, just in case Donald Trump wanted to go golfing. Of course, the rates for these rooms always went up for the government. Donald Trump even charged the Secret Service rental fees for golf carts so they could follow him around to protect him. Donald Trump charged us to protect him. It’s a nice racket, eh?

Why did Donald Trump take the leaders of foreign governments to his resorts? That way, he got to charge their governments hotel fees too. Of course, people eat…so they gotta pay for that too. Remember when he boasted about how much Xi Jinping loved the chocolate cake at Mar-a-Rob-o? That slice of cake probably cost $89.79.

Donald Trump attempted to host the G-7 Summit at one of his failing resorts and claimed it was the best location…and only suitable location in the nation for the summit. His ambassador to the United Kingdom, who also owns the New York Jets, attempted to get the British Open golf tournament held at one of Trump’s UK golf resorts. By the way, golf experts and golfing publications rank Trump golf resorts as shit. The only time you see an alligator at a Trump golf resort in Florida is when he’s using it as a short cut to a better golf resort.

Trump grifts. He used his charity to organize events with his political campaign, which is illegal. He used donations to his charity to purchase gifts for himself. His charity was dismantled by the state of New York for grifting and Donald Trump and three of his little fucky grifty children are now barred from engaging in any activity with any charity in the state of New York. And don’t get me started on his fake university which has also been dismantled by the state of New York. These motherfuckers grift.

Trump supporters love and belief in all things Trump begins and ends with him being a rich man…but they ignore that he inherited and grifted his way to becoming rich. They ignore his tax scams. They ignore he pays less in income taxes than they do. They ignore all the businesses of his that have failed. Donald Trump’s most successful business is convincing stupid people he’s successful at business. But even now, selling his name to hotels he doesn’t own is failing. After he sent racist MAGA terrorists to topple the government, putting Trump’s name on your hotel would be akin to calling it “Bin Laden Comfort Bed & Suites.”

As I said, Trump supporters are the only ones who fail to see that Donald Trump is a conman, even as they spend $30 for Trump straws. But, the ones being taken for thousands of dollars may be starting to see the light.

Stacy Blatt is a Trump supporter who lived on $1,000 a month while battling cancer. Rush Limbaugh told Mr. Blatt that Donald Trump needed his help. So Stacy Blatt sent Donald Trump $500. Wow. That’s a lot for someone in Mr. Blatt’s position and very generous. Then, Stacy Blatt contributed another $500 the next day, and another $500 the next week, and eventually gave Donald Trump $3,000, depleting his bank account and making his rent and utility payments bounce. Only thing is, Stacy Blatt did not know he was contributing beyond the first donation of $500. He didn’t know until everything started bouncing.

The thing is, at the website to give Donald Trump money for his failing campaign, had a little tiny box to make the payment recurring. In case you’re a Trump supporter, “recurring” means doing it again and again and again and….you get the idea. In this case, it does it again and again until you’re out of money. But Stacy Blatt never checked that little tiny box. Nope. It was pre-checked. As in, the Trump campaign had already checked it and was hoping he wouldn’t notice.

These people were being robbed for thousands by the Trump Campaign because of a pre-checked box, meanwhile, I’m paranoid about a pre-checked box getting me bombed with text messages from Pizza Hut. No, you don’t, pizza fuckers. Uncheck! Uncheck! Uncheck!

Stacy Blatt did not notice that box for recurring donations was pre-checked. What’s more, he didn’t notice the SECOND prechecked box, known internally as a “money bomb,” that doubled a person’s contribution. Stacy Blatt was not the only person who failed to notice the grifter boxes. Thousands fell for this. Money-bomb? They should call it “grifter-bomb.”

Soon, banks and credit card companies were inundated with fraud complaints. Why? Because it was fraud. Donald Trump is a thief. And even as some people received refunds, many still had to pay overdraft fees. Many even canceled their credit cards and closed their bank accounts. Banks have those pre-checked boxes too where you agree to allow them to pay charges when your account is overdrawn and add $30.00 to each one. I received a letter from my bank offering that “protection” about a decade ago and I burned it. That “protection” can lead to you being thousands of dollars in debt before you’re even aware of it.

All political campaigns have to issue refunds for various reasons. Usually it’s over legal limits. Often, a contributor gives too much and the campaign notifies them and returns some of the donation. For example, the Joe Biden 2020 presidential campaign and other Democratic committees issued online refunds totaling $21 million. The Trump Campaign, the Republican National Committee, and other associated fundraising goons issued over $122 million in refunds to online donors.

The Trump Campaign refunded 10.7 percent of the money it raised on WinRed, the for-profit fundraising platform it used for online donations. The Democrats only refunded 2.2 percent it raised online through its platform, ActBlue.

Doesn’t that kinda tell you who you should have voted for? Hey, I’m going to vote for the guy who doesn’t steal from elderly people on fixed incomes battling cancer.

Donald Trump was able to use all this stolen money in the final months of his campaign, and when the bill came due to issue refunds, he used money from his “stolen election” lie fundraising campaign to cover those. It’s a shell game. On top of that, it amounted to an interest-free loan from his cult. These people literally paid interest in overdraft fees to give Donald Trump a loan.

Do you remember when goons like Ronna McDaniel, the R.N.C. chairwoman, went on Fox News and other venues to boast about the fundraising of the Trump Campaign? Yeah, fucknuts like her and Jason Miller, who still has a job lying for Trump, never mentioned the part about stealing from their own supporters.

I was wrong. Donald Trump is successful at two things. Convincing people he’s successful and stealing money. The Trump Campaign and RNC accounted for three percent of all credit card fraud in the United States in 2020. Political donations account for a very small part of the U.S. economy, so that three percent is a LOT. This is another reason Donald Trump should be in prison.

We’ve been telling Trump goons for five years that Donald Trump is a grifter. He’s a conman. He’s a crook. Trump supporters are slow learners. Cancer eventually killed Stacy Blatt but one of his last experiences in life was learning that Donald Trump is a crook. He learned Donald Trump is a crook who really doesn’t care about his supporters.

Hopefully, other Trump supporters won’t have to learn that lesson as late as Stacy Blatt did, on his deathbed.

Donald Trump is a grifter and he will literally grift you to death.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have THREE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trump Toast


Cjones04022021

On a recent night at Mar-a-Lago, the guy who used to occupy the White House raised a glass of champagne and toasted himself.

He praised his policies on China with whom he started an unwinnable trade war. He praised himself on how he dealt with Iran which was to remove the U.S out of a treaty preventing that nation from obtaining a nuclear weapon…thus pushing them closer to having nuclear weapons. He praised himself for how he treated immigrants by ripping families apart, throwing children into jails, and losing track of their parents. He praised himself for winning an election he did not win. At some point, he realized he was at a wedding and he got around to praising the couple.

Trump railed, “Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran – how’re we doing with Iran, how do you like that?”

Donald Trump was in a tuxedo which now has penguins searching for a new look. But he continued ranting. He said, “Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they would have done anything, they would have done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ and Iran replies, ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ Oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us.”

At some point, I think he forgot that he was giving a toast at a wedding or even speaking in front of other people as it seemed he was talking to himself. But he continued.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right?”

Quick. Someone get the cake. Distract him with cake. What? He’s not done? Oh, god.

“You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim – he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me.” Was there even a Jim at the wedding or did he just glue little googly eyes on his hand again and pretend it’s talking to him?

Finally…he got around to mentioning the bride and….NOPE. “What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shots, and they call ’em shots, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster.”

Mr. President (sic), would you like to say a few words? No, I’d like to say a lot of words.

He continued. “It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

It continued. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?'” No. We don’t miss you and we’re not going to. But then again, we did say the same thing about George W. Bush and…no, nope, no no no…we’re never going to miss your stupid rancid Cheeto-covered ass, you orange shitgibbon from Oompa-Loopma Land.

After warming up, he got started and went into the election he lost and said, “We did get 75 million votes. Nobody’s ever gotten that,” Trump said. “They said, ‘Get 66m votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said … but you know, you saw what happened, 10.30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?'”

Next time someone pushes the Russian talking points and claims President Joe Biden has dementia (Ted Rall), force them to watch the Trump toast.

Finally…he was done and wrapped it up with a nod to himself and the happy couple, whatever their names are. “Now, a lot of things happening right now. I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple … have fun.”

Throughout all this, the band was waiting for him to wrap it up so they can play that song from Dirty Dancing. If you’ve had the time of your life with Donald Trump, then you might be a racist.

So, he’s asked to give a toast, he spends the entirety of it on himself in what would seem like a drunken rant if he drank, and at the end, he can’t even mention the couple’s names. Was his daughter Tiffany the bride?

Donald Trump shouldn’t be enjoying freedom and giving wedding toasts. This man attempted to steal an election. He told officials in Georgia to “find votes” so they could overturn the presidential election in that state. There is no telling what he said to other state officials who visited the White House or where phone calls weren’t recorded. After committing election fraud, he sent terrorists to the United States Capitol to overturn the election in a violent coup attempt. He sent MAGA goons and other assorted white supremacists to stop Congress from doing its Constitutional duty. He succeeded for a few hours.

The only place Donald Trump should be toasting weddings is in prison. He shouldn’t be toasting and giving rants at Mar-a-Lago. He shouldn’t be calling in to Fox News to continue spreading debunked conspiracy theories. He shouldn’t be free to enable more white nationalist terrorists. He shouldn’t be at some gold-plated desk working on his bullshit memoirs. He shouldn’t be working on deals to create a new social media network for Nazis. He shouldn’t be on the golf course continuing to bilk taxpayers for Secret Service protection. He should be in prison.

Georgia is investigating Donald Trump’s election interference. The District of Columbia may start an investigation into his rallying terrorists to attack the United States government. The Justice Department should be opening a LOT of investigations into Donald Trump’s illegal activity throughout his time occupying the White House.

And maybe afterward, Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz can share a toilet of wine together. Donald Trump shouldn’t be giving a toast. He should be toast.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trumpity Diggity


Cjones03312021

I have excellent timing. Minutes after finishing up this cartoon and while creating different file types of it for my clients, The New York Times sent me a notification that the ship blocking the Suez Canal for the past five days has finally been freed (I made that sound like I’m really important because the NYT sent me a notification, but it’s an app on my phone).

In case you’re a Republican, the Suez Canal is in Egypt. It’s a vital artery for the world’s shipping and economy. Think of it like a short cut between the Atlantic Ocean, after going through the Mediterranean Sea, to the Indian Ocean. It beats having to go around Africa. In case you’re a Republican, Africa is a continent, not a country.

While salvage crews were digging and tug boats were tugging, it was the moon that came through with the final push. The tides from the full moon are what finally got the ship free. In case you’re a Republican, the moon is that big white thing you see in the sky at night that is NOT made from cheese. And yes, we did actually land on it from where we could see the Earth is NOT flat. We’re learning so much today.

Also, the ship was freed Monday afternoon Egypt time even though it’s still morning in the United States. In case you’re a Republican, the sun doesn’t rise at the same time everywhere on the planet. It rises in Egypt several hours before it rises on the east coast of the U.S. That’s why there are different time zones.

Somehow, the crews and the moon were able to dislodge the ship without any advice from Donald Trump. Surely, if the guy still had his Twitter account, he would have been a big help.

One of the worst things about Donald Trump as president (sic) is now one of the best things about him. He’s a buffoon. As a private citizen, we can chuckle, laugh, maybe throw peanuts at him, and just have a good time creating Facebook memes. As president (sic), his buffoonery was horrifying. Have you tried nuking a hurricane?

Of course, Donald Trump knew more about everything than anyone. He was great at understanding the coronavirus because his uncle went to MIT, which Trump thinks is “MIT University.”

Donald Trump has a big brain for understanding stuff and he displayed it when he repeated “Person, woman, man, camera, TV” multiple times in a row with only a little difficulty, and told us the people who gave him the test said, “Rarely has someone ever done what you just did.” And he used that big brain to help the world, which probably makes him a superhero of some sort.

When Notre Dame (not the university in Indiana) was on fire in Paris, he suggested using water to put the fire out. More specifically, he advised using water tanks to water bomb the cathedral from airplanes. In case you’re a Republican, water is heavy. Try lifting an aquarium. Water bombing the cathedral would have made the entire thing collapse and the Fighting Irish would never be able to win another football national championship.

After two Boeing jets crashed, Trump advised they conduct a rebranding campaign. Boeing: Did we mention our seats are also flotation devices?

Donald Trump said the best way to get rid of wildfires was to rake the forests. Seriously. He said there are too many leaves. He also said science doesn’t know anything about climate change, but he does.

He had a lot of great advice about the coronavirus. He told us not to live in fear of the virus killing people. He advised we use unproven malaria drugs that doctors advised against. He pondered publicly if people should drink bleach and shine flashlights up their bum holes.

It was too bad he didn’t have his twitter account to advise how to unclog the Suez. He could have told us he knows more about boats than anyone because he’s been on a boat. In fact, he’s owned a boat. He would have told us he’s qualified to tell us about boats because one of his German ancestors arrived to this country on a boat. He would have said, “People are always asking me, ‘How do you understand so much about boats?'”. He could have tweeted, “Have you tried pushing the boat?” Or, “Maybe you could move the boat by drawing on it with a Sharpie.” Or, “Have you tried bombing the boat from invisible airplanes?” He knows about airplanes too. He owns a couple with his largest, the one he’s so proud of, currently rusting on a New York tarmac.

I wonder how Trump is doing without his Twitter. I imagine it’s like an addict without crack. Fortunately, he still has Fox News and weddings to air his thoughts from.

He went on Fox News last week and said there was no threat from the white supremacist terrorists who attacked the Capitol while trying to overturn an election. He said the terrorists were “hugging and kissing” the Capitol Police officers. I’m not sure if biting someone’s fingers off can be classified as a “kiss,” or if crushing cops against doors can be considered “hugging.” What the hell does he consider using bear spray to kill a cop? Oh, hey. Have they tried using bear spray to get the ship out?

Then Trump went to a wedding at his golf resort, where he’s been hiding himself since President Joe Biden defeated him in the election. I’m sure the happy couple were excited Trump came to their wedding and made a toast. After all, they did book it at a Trump resort which would be the equivalent of being married at Chucky Cheese if the giant rat was a lying racist.

Trump took the mic and toasted the happy couple…after ranting about President Joe Biden, the border crisis, Iran, China, and the election that was “stolen from him.” It was kinda like that scene in the Wedding Singer where drunk Steve Buscemi gives a toast. ““I’ve always been the screwed-up one, right, dad? ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother? Harold would never beat up his landlord!” Or even worse, a toast by your cousin from Boston who says the bride is a total smoke show. Both would still be better than Trump. The giant rat would have been better than Trump.

Now, the economy should improve because the ship has been unclogged from the canal. Also, the economy will improve now that our nation has unclogged itself from Donald Trump. Donald Trump is like a huge bowel movement. But don’t ask me.

Ask Donald Trump, who I’m sure knows more about bowel movements than anybody. He’s had bowel movements on boats, planes, skyscrapers, golf resorts, the White House, and has even pooped in Singapore where they said, “Rarely has anyone done what you just did.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Unreasonable, Deranged Lunatic


Cjones03272021

Quickly after the election, which Donald Trump LOST, attorney Sidney Powell joined Donald Trump’s legal team that was trying to steal the election away from Joe Biden. Sidney came with the impeccable credentials of being Michael Flynn’s lawyer where part of her legal defense was that he was framed by a “deep state plot.” She sent a letter to then-Attorney General William Barr asking him to investigate the investigation, and he did. Then the Justice Department attempted to drop the prosecution. Eventually, Trump pardoned Flynn…before he LOST the election to President Joe Biden.

This brilliant legal strategy of Qanon conspiracy theories landed her a position on Trump’s legal team where she argued Trump actually won the election he LOST and it was stolen in a plot conducted by communists, globalists, George Soros, The Clintons, the deceased Hugo Chavez, the CIA, hundreds of Democrats and even Republicans like Georgia governor Brian Kemp. Somehow, the Mickey Mouse Club escaped an accusation.

Sidney Powell conducted press conference after press conference, including the infamous one next to a porn shop with Rudy Giuliani when his head started dripping axle grease or some shit. Sidney also lost lawsuits in multiple states. Her conspiracy theories got so crazy, the Trump legal team officially dropped her and said she was acting “independently,” yet she continued to file lawsuits. While she wasn’t officially on the legal team anymore, she was still meeting with Donald Trump in the Oval Office where she suggested such brilliant tactics as declaring martial law to overturn the election he LOST .

Sidney promised she would reveal a “Kraken” of a plot to steal the election from Donald Trump which she called, “The greatest crime of the century if not the life of the world.” According to Sidney Powell, stealing the election from Donald Trump was worst than the Holocaust, the Black Plaque, the Inquisition, the coronavirus pandemic, Japanese internment, 9/11, New Coke, the Guns and Roses album “Chinese Democracy,” the CATS! movie, the Crocs fad, the KFC Double-Down chicken sandwich, and Ted Cruz’s face.

Twitter banned Powell for pushing Qanon conspiracy theories. Michigan and the city of Detroit (in case you’re a Republican, is a city in Michigan) filed separate motions in federal court to sanction Powell for attempting to overturn the election Donald Trump LOST .

During Sidney’s charade of a stolen election that Donald Trump actually LOST, she slandered Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic. Both companies demanded she retract her statements. Fox News and Newsmax, two networks that had promoted the bullshit campaign, started walking back the conspiracy theories.

Dominion and Smartmatic are now both suing Sidney Powell for defamation. Dominion is seeking $1.3 billion. Smartmatic is suing Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Fox News, Newsmax, and several idiot hosts from Fox for $2.7 billion. The companies may not get as much as they’re seeking, but they’ll probably win their lawsuits and in the process, Sidney Powell is likely to lose her license to practice law. I think she found her Kraken.

Think of it. If she’s too deranged to be on Twitter, then what the hell is she doing practicing law?

Now, Sidney’s lawyers, who I hope are better than she is, are arguing in court that no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s bullshit.

They filed a motion arguing, “No reasonable person would conclude that the statements by Powell about the 2020 election were truly statements of fact.” They continued this ridiculous argument with, “It was clear to reasonable persons that Powell’s claims were her opinions and legal theories.”

They’re arguing she should not be responsible for the shit that comes out of her mouth. You’re representing a lawyer, not a three-year-old or a drunk at closing time. Wait. Was she drunk?

Sidney’s lawyers argued Dominion could not prove Powell took action with “actual malice”, because “she believed the allegations then and she believes them now.”

So, no “reasonable” person could believe Sidney’s claims about the election being stolen by Jews, commies, Clintons, and Chavez were facts, but they were her legal opinions and she truly believed in them. I think her lawyers argued she’s not a reasonable person.

They’re also arguing she based her “legal opinions” on bullshit that no reasonable person could believe. Doesn’t that mean she should not be practicing law? Shouldn’t your legal opinion be something that reasonable people could believe? You didn’t see OJ’s lawyers argue Nicole was murdered by Hugo Chavez.

I agree with her lawyers. No reasonable person could believe anything Powell said about the election being stolen. Only fucking deranged lunatics would ever believe any of the debunked bullshit Sidney said. But, some lunatics did believe her bullshit. In fact, a lot of lunatics bought into her scam.

One of those lunatics was the president (sic) of the United States of America who then directed thousands of other lunatics to storm the Capitol and attempt a bloody coup to overturn an election he LOST. People died because of this lie.

Today, Donald Trump is still pushing this lie Sidney helped spread. More than half of all Republicans still believe this lie. According to Sidney Powell’s legal team, the Republican Party consists of “unreasonable” people. Shit, we already knew that. I don’t think reasonable people could vote for Donald Trump. Fortunately for us, reasonable people outnumbered Republicans because Donald Trump LOST the election.

Donald Trump used Sidney’s lies to destroy our democracy and Constitution. I think Dominion and Smartmatic might have a case. It’s not their fault Donald Trump LOST the election.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Hate Crime Trump


cjones03202021

In March, 2020, White House goon Kellyanne Conway was asked about White House staffers using the term “kung flu” to describe the coronavirus. Kellyanne reacted harshly.

Kellyanne responded to the reporters’ questions by saying, “Of course it’s wrong. That’s highly offensive, so you should tell us all who it is.” Reporters did not have to tell her who it was because that person revealed himself.

After Donald Trump started publicly using the term “kung flu,” Kellyanne said, “My reaction is that the president has made very clear he wants everybody to understand, and I think many Americans do understand, that the virus originated in China.” What happened to “highly offensive?” And yes, we understand perfectly well whom he was blaming.

When it was pointed out there is no place called “Kung Flu,” Kellyanne shot back “Excuse me, how do you know the way people, how do you know that people aren’t anticipating that or not connecting that? You don’t know that. While the president is saying it, he’s also saying this virus came from China. China is responsible.” Was she saying people will “anticipate” or “connect” that to China because they’re racist?

And then, lovely Kellyanne went from calling the racist term “highly offensive,” to saying it was OK when Trump added other racist terms to the list. She said, “He said it’s called many different things, it’s called the Wuhan virus, the Chinese virus, and then he used another term.”

Donald Trump is a fear-monger. The one thing better than accepting responsibility or doing a difficult task is to cast blame. For Donald Trump, it’s better casting blame in a racist manner. Was it racist to use “kung flu,” “Wuhan virus,” or “China virus”? Yes.

Racists for Trump will argue those terms are not racist since the virus came from China. But those are not the names for the virus. “Coronavirus” and “Covid-19” are the accepted names for the virus. Those are the names that doctors and scientists use. Though Kellyanne believed this coronavirus was the 19th version, not realizing it was named for the year it originated.

Since Donald Trump failed at containing and combating the virus, spread fears and lies over, and even admitted to downplaying it while hundreds of thousands died, it’s perfectly acceptable to call the coronavirus the “Trump Virus.”

After Trump occupied the White House in 2017, hate crimes increased in this nation. The Washington Post reported that in 2016, counties where Trump held his 275 hate rallies saw an increase in hate crimes by 226%.

Donald Trump was the racists’ president. HIs first campaign promise was to build a racist wall on the border with Mexico, whom he accused of sending us “rapists and murderers.” He was endorsed by the likes of Grand Wizard David Duke and Nazi Richard Spencer. While most newspapers refused to endorse Trump, he did score an endorsement from The Daily Stormer, the official newspaper of Nazis. Klansmen wanted to throw parades for him. People in Trump hotel ballrooms were sieg heiling. His campaign was managed by racist and Breitbart goon Steve Bannon (who he later pardoned). He added Bannon to his staff as well as racist Stephen Miller, whom he allowed to write racist immigration policies. He defended tiki-torch Nazis in Charlottesville, even after they murdered a civil rights activist. He said “Send them back” about American congresswomen who are non-white. He gave shout-outs to the racist group Proud Boys. He retweeted Nazis. He pardoned racists Roger Stone, Joe Arpaio, and Dinesh D’Souza. He spread the racist lie that the 2020 election was stolen because of voter fraud by non-white voters. He coordinated and instigated a racist insurrection against the United States Congress in a bloody coup attempt. And the bad thing here is, I know I left some of Trump’s racist shit out of this list.

Stop AAPI Hate is a coalition that tracks incidents of violence and harassment against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in the U.S and they claim hate crimes have risen since the coronavirus landed in the United States. The group claims there have been nearly 3,800 instances of discrimination against Asians in the past year.

The rampage at three spas in the Atlanta area that left eight dead may not be connected to racism generated from the coronavirus. The only motive that’s been suggested so far is the shooter was motivated to eliminate the temptation of his sexual addiction…or something like that. What is known is the man was targeting Asians at massage parlors and he was attempting to take his rampage further south to Florida, where New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft prefers to get his Asian massages…along with a “rub and tug.” Don’t Google that.

Six of the eight victims were female Asians. The shooter was a white guy. Police don’t know if they can classify this as a hate crime, but the guy targeted multiple establishments of Asians. The white killer was going after Asians.

We may not be able to blame Donald Trump for this man’s “temptation” to kill Asians. But we can blame Donald Trump for the rise in all hate crimes, especially for those against Asians.

Donald Trump spent months blaming China for the coronavirus. He didn’t just give the OK to his racist supporters to blame China, he used racist terms which validated their hate. Their excuse is that it can’t be racist if the president (sic) said it, even if that president (sic) is a racist. His supporters didn’t blame Xi Jinping or the Chinese Communist Party for the virus. They blamed Asian Americans. They didn’t single out Chinese Americans…they went after Asian Americans.

The real irony here is these people who downplayed the virus, claimed it was no worse than the flu, refused to wear face masks, protested at state capitol buildings over shutdowns and mandates, are now refusing to be vaccinated, while physically attacking Asian Americans for “bringing” the virus.

If anything, maybe Asians should be beating us up for what we’ve done to their food. Did you know most of what you’re ordering at Chinese restaurants aren’t actually Chinese dishes? But yet, no attacks on Panda Express which is to Chinese food what Taco Bell is to Mexican.

One reason joining the Trump cult is so popular with stupid people is that you don’t have to be intelligent, have the ability to comprehend, or use logic to become a member.

It’s not just President Joe Biden and the Democratic Party who have to rebuild this nation after the Trump disaster. It’s all of us. It’s not enough to just not be racist. We need to be anti-racist. We still need to resist.

We won the White House and we control both chambers of Congress. What is there to resist? Racism. We need to resist the racism that inserted Donald Trump into the presidency. We need to resist the racism that dominates state legislatures that are trying to enact voter discrimination laws against minorities. We need to resist the racism that dominates the Republican Party.

For four years, Donald Trump instigated and enabled racists in this nation. It culminated in an attack on the United States Capitol by racist terrorists. That alone is proof that his use of racist terms to describe the coronavirus inspires racists to attack Asian Americans.

I believe we are still a racist country. We need to resist racist America. And how much do you wanna bet Kellyanne loves her some Panda Express?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Long Night In The Q Patch


cjones03092021

After election day and Joe Biden passed Donald Trump in the vote count, Republicans held onto hope, with many believing that Trump would come back and win the presidency. When that didn’t happen, hope turned into conspiracy theories and Republicans truly became fucknuts.

Trumplicans believed that on December 20, the day electors meet in their respective states and cast their votes for president and vice-president, that Trump would be given an Electoral College victory which the GOP would have had to pull out of their asses. Republicans, including the president (sic) of the United States believed electors in several of those states would defy the will of their people and hand the election to Donald Trump. Donald Trump even invited legislators from Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania to the White House to convince and strong-arm them to overturn the election. That didn’t work. Even Big Macs under heat lamps didn’t sway them.

Trump’s lawyers filed over 60 lawsuits across the nation with each one failing. They held press conferences where Rudy Giuliani’s hair melted. There were hearings held in state capitals where legislatures actually patronized Rudy…for which he only brought conspiracy theories, insane witnesses, and farts. Trump’s other lawyer, Sidney Powell, spread conspiracy theories that voting machines created by the late Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, financed by George Soros, controlled by President Obama, President Bill Clinton, and Secretary Hillary Clinton, switched votes from Trump to Biden.

Senator Lindsey Graham, who represents South Carolina (in case you’re a Republican, is NOT Georgia), called officials in Georgia to convince them to give the state to Trump even though President Joe Biden had won it. Then, Donald Trump called officials in the state and threatened and demanded they make up votes to give him so he could surpass Biden in the count. And some people are saying, “Hmmmm…maybe that’s illegal.”

December 20 came and went and Joe Biden was still the President-Elect. Then, Trump called his supporters, you know, terrorists, to come to Washington, D.C. on January 6, when Congress was certifying the election. His white nationalist terrorists attacked the Capitol, wounding many and killing cops, to overturn the election. It was a bloody coup attempt. But the count went on and Joe Biden was officially President-Elect of the United States of America.

Then, the Qanon crowd believed Trump would enact martial law and during Joe Biden’s inauguration on January 20, the military would rush the podium and arrest him and Kamala Harris. For good measure, they’d also arrest President Obama and Hillary Clinton. Lady Gaga was probably in trouble too. Nobody was arrested, there was no martial law, and from the looks of it, everybody had a good time…except for Mike Pence. He looked like that guy at the party nobody wants to talk to.

Instead of declaring martial law, Donald Trump flew down to Florida. He refused to attend the inauguration because he’s a whiny little baby. He even left before noon so he could use Air Force One one last time without having to ask the incoming president for permission. Usually, the outgoing president does use Air Force One to leave the capital, but they only do so with the grace and permission of the incoming president…as long as they return it with a full tank. This request has never been refused. But, Donald Trump didn’t want to ask Joe Biden because that would have been an admittance Biden is president.

Donald Trump is the first president to refuse a peaceful transfer of power. He delayed the presidential transition, thus endangering the nation and trying to leave as much of a mess as possible for Biden to clean up. He delayed briefings on national security for the President-Elect. Donald Trump put himself before the security of this nation. And on a petty score, he refused to invite the President-Elect and incoming First Lady to the White House. For the record, President Obama invited Trump and Melania to the White House, greeted them on the steps of the White House on inauguration day, and attended the ceremony. Do you know who else was at Donald Trump’s inauguration in 2016? Joe Biden.

Election Day didn’t work out for Trump supporters. Then December 20, January 6, and January 20 didn’t work out for them. Finally, Qanon fucknuts can accept they lost, it’s over, Trump is now a former president (sic), Joe Biden is President, and it’s time to move on. Right? Wrong.

They decided that March 4 was the date Donald Trump would return and become president again…or something like that. What is this based on? Glad you asked because it’s crazy.

In 1871, Congress passed the District of Columbia Organic Act. This made the District of Columbia a self-governing body, a municipal corporation. It has no relation to the presidency. But, Qanon fucknuts believe that on this date, the United States of America became a corporation which is controlled by foreigners and a deep state of satanic-worshipping baby-eating pedophiles along with assorted lizard people.

Why March 4? Because that’s when lizard people’s eggs hatch? Is that when baby blood starts to turn so you better drink up? No. That’s when presidents used to be inaugurated. Congress moved the inauguration to January 20 after passing the 20th Amendment to the Constitution in 1933, the same year Franklin Delano Roosevelt ended the gold standard. QAnon believers argue that in ending the gold standard, Roosevelt transferred power to a group of shadowy foreign investors who have since been controlling the US government.

We’re about to get deeper: Qanon fucks believed that Ulysses Grant was the last legitimate president. Thus, when Trump returned on March 4, he would become the 19th president and the first legitimate president since Grant. But wait. Wouldn’t that mean Donald Trump was never president from 2017 to January, 2021? Shut up.

I also don’t get why Grant was the last legitimate president. Roosevelt’s first inauguration was on March 4, so was Herbert Hoover’s one. One, because he was a one-term loser like Donald Trump. If someone can explain this about the inauguration date (and I’ve researched), leave it in the comments.

Others also believe that Trump and Biden are actually working together, Trump never left, he’s still here, and it’s all a ruse because…wait for it…Trump and Biden switched bodies.

Trump me on this. Nobody wants to switch bodies with Donald Trump.

So, now that March 4 has passed, I guess it’s over. Right? Wrong.

Qanon fucknuts have moved the goal posts to March 20. Why March 20? The only thing I can find is that’s when many believe the Republican Party was founded in 1854. Of course back then, the Republican Party was the liberal party. The Qanon Shaman and Marjorie Taylor Greene have nothing in common with Abraham Lincoln.

Oh yeah, they also believe Trump still controls the military and on the 20th, he’s going to round up everyone who voted to impeach him or merely said bad things about him, and have them all arrested along with…Oh, sweet mother of monkey milk…the Pope.

Nobody tell the Qanon goons that President George Washington’s first inauguration was held on April 30. That would mean when Donald Trump does come back, he’ll be the second legitimate president.

Of course, all this shit persists because Qanon is a cult, being a Trump supporter is being in a cult, and Donald Trump won’t say anything to debunk any of this. This is the same guy who secretly took the covid vaccine. Why in secret and not do it in public like Biden, Harris, Obama, Clinton, Bush, etc? Because it would hurt the campaign he waged politicizing the virus, again, putting himself before the safety of the country he swore to protect. Or maybe, when he took the vaccine, it was really a serum for body switching with Joe Biden. Yeah! That’s it! And it was administered by a lizard guy in a doctor’s coat.

And everyone said, “Hey, Clay. What are you going to draw when Trump is gone? You’re going to miss Trump.” I haven’t had time to miss Trump.

Creative note: Usually when a cartoonist uses another cartoonist’s creation and characters in a cartoon, they write “apologies to” the cartoonist they borrowed from. I forgot to do that. And if anything, I really owe Charles Schulz an apology for making Linus a member of Qanon.

Correction: I originally had Hoover with TWO inaugurations. But, he only had one. Kudos to Robert Coutinho (who sent me an email) and the reader in the comments who caught it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Grab ‘Em By The Cuomo


cjones03052021

Goddammit, Andrew Cuomo. Stop making me draw cartoons about you.

When I drew a cartoon on the scandal of Cuomo covering up the number of nursing home deaths from covid, liberals came at me. I got a lot of “but what about Trump?” and “you’re drinking the Kool-Aid.” The second time I covered it, after Saturday Night Live went after him, I didn’t get one complaint from liberals. I’m still getting a bunch of “whatabouts” for my Biden/MBS cartoon and the one I drew yesterday on detaining migrant children.

No, I have not become a conservative. Two things have happened. A Democrat won the presidency and Andrew Cuomo keeps fucking up.

And this cartoon is not a “whatabout.” I’m not saying, “Leave Cuomo alone because Trump is worse.” We know Trump is worse. When it comes not punishing Saudi Arabia for murdering a journalist, or detaining migrant children, or sexual assault, Donald Trump is much worse than any Democrat. But I’ll repeat what I wrote a few days ago: We deserve better than Trump.

The “whatabout” argument doesn’t work. It doesn’t defend the person you’re trying to cover up for and if anything, it’s your admittance that your guy is guilty. If anything, being associated with Donald Trump is the worst insult. It’s the worst crime. Do you know who walks up to women who are not their wives and says, “How about a kiss?” Donald Trump, Joe Namath, and according to the latest accusation, Andrew Cuomo. And for the victims of all three, “Ew.”

A third woman has now accused New York Governor Andrew Cuomo of unwanted sexual advances. The first two, who are state employees, accused Cuomo of sexual harassment. The third, Anna Ruch, says Cuomo came up to her at a wedding, placed his hand on her back while she was wearing an open-back dress; she removed his hands, then he put his hands on her cheeks, and asked to kiss her. A friend of Ruch claimed it was loud enough for her to hear and has corroborated the story. It gets worse. There’s a photo from the wedding of Cuomo with his hands on Ms. Ruch’s cheeks. In the photo, she doesn’t look excited. In the photo, from where her arm is located, it looks like she’s about to do Mr. Miyagi’s wax off move.

Cuomo released a statement saying his words and actions have been “misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation” and said, “To the extent anyone felt that way, I am truly sorry about that.” That’s an apology where he’s sorry that it’s your fault. If that’s the defense he’s going to pull out, sorry, implement, then why doesn’t he just use the Trump defense and say they’re ugly and he’d never sexually harass, assault, or try to kiss a woman who doesn’t rate higher than a six?

Charlotte Bennett, a former aide to the governor said the apology was inadequate and, “These are not the actions of someone who simply feels misunderstood. They are the actions of an individual who wields his power to avoid justice.”

After calls were made for an investigation, Cuomo selected former federal Judge Barbara Jones to investigate claims of sexual harassment, but it was pointed out that he shouldn’t have a hand in the probe. Obviously, he likes to put his hands where they don’t belong. Cuomo shouldn’t be selecting who investigates him.

Then, Beth Garvey, special counsel and senior adviser to Cuomo, asked New York Attorney General Letitia James and Chief Judge Janet DiFiore to choose “an independent and qualified lawyer in private practice without political affiliation” to conduct a “thorough review” and issue a report on the matter in an effort to “avoid even the perception of a lack of independence or inference of politics.”

But the state AG knocked that one down too and said, “To clarify, I do not accept the governor’s proposal. The state’s Executive Law clearly gives my office the authority to investigate this matter once the governor provides a referral.”

“While I have deep respect for Chief Judge DiFiore, I am the duly elected attorney general and it is my responsibility to carry out this task, per Executive Law. The governor must provide this referral so an independent investigation with subpoena power can be conducted.”

That means the judge can’t be a part of the decision on who is going to investigate Cuomo, and his office can’t select who is going to make that decision. That resides only with the AG, who is now doing just that. James already has her hands full investigating Cuomo’s coverup of nursing home deaths and assorted Trump fuckery in the state. She’ll be handing the sexual harassment stuff to an independent investigator.

The Me Too movement is not a partisan thing. It’s not to be used politically to go after enemies. Wrong is wrong. It’s just as bad when a Democrat does it. When an old creeper is trying to force his tongue down your throat, or “grab you by the hoo-ha,” their political affiliation is less important than getting them to stop it.

Maybe a good rule of thumb for Democrats would be: What would Donald Trump do? Think about what that would be, then don’t do it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

CPAC Cult


cjones03032021

Speaking at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Donald Trump Jr told the cult that maybe the organization should now be called “TPAC.” In case you’re slower than Donald Trump Jr, the “T” is for Trump. The should keep it as “CPAC,” but with the first “C” standing for “Cult.”

The Republican Party isn’t about conservatism anymore. It’s not about policy. It’s not even about Republicans. It’s about Donald Trump. His entire strategy to retake the White House is to run on his grievances because it’s all about him. The only policy is subservience to Donald Trump. This is not a party anymore. It’s a cult. And in case you had any doubts, just take one look at the golden statue, seriously, that was wheeled into the convention. They literally brought a golden statue of Donald Trump. Some in attendance at CPAC literally bowed down before it.

Saddam Hussein had statues made of him while he was still alive. He even named Baghdad’s airport after himself. By the way, there’s a movement by the Trump cult to rename a Florida airport after Donald Trump. Typically, leaders die before statues are built in their honor. You know, leaders much greater than Donald Trump like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Ronald McDonald.

Will Republicans soon be required to build shrines inside their homes to Donald Trump, like what’s required North Koreans for Kim Jong Un, his father, and grandfather?

This is what’s become of the GOP, the Grand Old Party. It’s a cult to Donald Trump and after four more years of this shit, worshipping a racist reality TV show host who was this nation’s worst president, who lost the popular vote twice, lost the House and Senate for his party, who continues the Big Lie of the stolen election, who instigates terrorists to attack the government in bloody coup attempts, and refuses a peaceful transfer of power to the president who defeated him in a democratic and free election, there will be nothing left of the Republican Party.

Even Mitch McConnell, who blamed Donald Trump for the attack on the Capitol and suggested he’ll be held accountable in a court of law on criminal charges, said he’ll support Donald Trump if he’s the nominee in 2024.

What’s left of the Republican Party is outrage over a stolen election that wasn’t stolen and Mr. Potato Head maybe not being Mr. anymore.

“The people at CPAC are living in an alternate reality in which facts don’t matter, the Constitution doesn’t matter. They have no principle except whatever their leader says.” Who said that? The former leader of CPAC, Mickey Edwards.

Edwards, who is also a former Oklahoma Congressman said, “The Republican Party really no longer stands for any kind of principles, conservative or otherwise. They’re no different than they are in Hungary…whatever the Great Leader says, they do.”

He also said, “The party seems now to be completely following the lead of one man wherever he goes, which is the definition of a cult. All that matters is ‘Trump is for this, we’re for this.’ And that includes denying truth, denying facts, denying reality.”

Edwards quit the Republican Party after the attack on the Capitol. Speakers at this year’s conference, appropriately being held in Florida, include Senators Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz, who helped instigate the terrorist attack. Edwards said the current leader, Matt Schlapp, doesn’t have his job because when Edwards was the head of CPAC, “it was a group that was based on conservative principles. We were strong supporters of the Constitution. We believed in free elections. We believed in democracy. These people don’t believe in any of those things.” Schlapp does not push conservative issues anymore. Instead, he has pushed Donald Trump’s bogus stolen election lie. Removing yourself from reality is now a requirement to be a member of the Republican Party.

The entire conference has been one of lie after lie followed by conspiracy theory followed by conspiracy theory. I can’t wait to hear what policies Trump focuses on during his speech later today.

Are you a still a Republican after the leader of your party has tried to undermine our constitution and encouraged terrorists to attack the government in a bloody coup attempt? Are you still a Republican after it has been co-opted by Qanon?

If you’re still a Republican, congratulations. You’re in a cult.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Cheese Heads


In the 1960s, racists drifted, or stampeded, from the Democratic Party to the Republican Party. Have you seen Republicans post memes about how their party freed the slaves and advanced voting and civil rights? All that’s true. It’s true that the greatest accomplishments in history that Republicans boasts about are liberal ones. Today, racists are Republicans.

It started with Richard Nixon’s southern strategy where he was courting racist southerners. Ronald Reagan advanced the southern strategy with a major campaign speech in Neshoba County, Mississippi, where three civil rights leaders were murdered in Freedom Summer. For a long time, Republicans courted racists by winking and nodding. When George H. W. Bush ran the Willie Horton ads, suggesting that if you voted for Michael Dukakis, then black felons would rape you, it was barely a wink.

After Willie Horton, some Republicans started to feel a little shame. Being in the same party as racists was starting to become an embarrassment. I mean, if racists are in your party then how good is your party? If you and a racist want to advance the same cause, how worthy is that cause? If racists are Republicans then why the fuck are you a Republican?

Also, if you invite racists to a party, what do they bring? Something with marshmallows because of the whiteness? Pigs in a blanket? Doritos because they’re shaped like little cheddar-flavored Klan hoods?

The GOP went from being the party of the radical left, to being responsible (Teddy to Ike), to secretly courting racists in a very open way, to kinda being ashamed of them, to being afraid of offending them, to openly recruiting them. When you elect a president (sic) who built his political profile on birtherism, campaigned on building walls to keep out Mexicans who are “rapists” and “murderers,” enacts a Muslim ban, throws brown kids into cages, shouts, “Send them back,” defends tiki-torch Nazis chanting, “Jews will not replace us,” and incites a bloody coup attempt with the help of white supremacists, you are the racist party. If you’re not a racist but still a Republican, why are you still a Republican?

We used to say, “Not all Republicans are racists but all racists are Republicans.” Now, all Republicans are racists. When you vote for a racist who’s been screaming racist stuff for over a decade, you know you’re voting for a racist. All Trump supporters are racists.

And it gets even worse. All Trump supporters are psychotic, terrorist-supporting, conspiracy-believing racists. The belief, the Big Lie, that the election was stolen from Donald Trump isn’t just a crazy stupid conspiracy theory. It’s a racist conspiracy theory. Where do you think they believe all the “fake” ballots came in from?

Qanon is a racist conspiracy cult. They’re not harmless. And the people who stormed the capitol were led by white supremacists. And of course, the biggest white supremacist, Donald Trump, goaded them. He invited them to Washington then told them to march to the capitol and overturn an election.

It was really bad when all the cultists were just online coordinating terrorist attacks. Now, they’re in Congress.

You have Georgia Qnut Marjorie Taylor Greene advancing racist conspiracy theories about the stolen election and Jewish space lasers. You have Lauren Boebert tweeting to the terrorists that Nancy Pelosi was off the House floor. And then you have Senator Ron Johnson from Wisconsin.

Wisconsin went to Joe Biden. It went twice for President Obama. Donald Trump only won it over Hillary Clinton by a few thousand. So I know this: Wisconsin can do better than Ron Johnson. He’s up for reelection in 2022. Hopefully, Wisconsin fixes this shit.

During the joint House/Senate hearing on the terrorist attack on the capitol, Ron Johnson floated conspiracy theories and defended white supremacists. The conspiracy theories he threw out have already been debunked. After the hearing, he doubled down.

Johnson blamed the attack on “agent provocateurs” and “fake Trump protesters.” He said the real Trump supporters who gathered in Washington on January 6 were only there to protest against an election, which is bad enough you point out they were protesting because they lost. Johnson described them as “jovial, friendly,” and had an “earnest demeanor.” Johnson said there was no white supremacist element to the attack, which has been debunked by everyone who knows better, and that all the people who broke into the capitol, fought with police, and murdered people were “fake Trump supporters.”

And, this is believed by a lot of stupid people. They’re probably the same people who believe Donald Trump won the election.

But again, how can you defend the attack like it was something great then go and blame other people? Try to pick talking points that don’t contradict each other, M’kay?

Illinois Republican Representative Adam Kinzinger, said, “It’s disgraceful for a sitting Senator to spread disinformation so blatantly. It’s a disservice to the people he serves to continue lying to them like this. It’s dangerous and it must stop.”

Ron Johnson has always been a fan of bullshit. Between the election and inauguration day, Johnson was asked by a reporter if he wanted to congratulate President-elect Biden. Johnson didn’t even stop walking when he said, “No,” and that he didn’t have anything to congratulate him for. Can someone please ask Johnson now who won the election?

During the hearing, Johnson read from a racist right-wing website and quoted it, blaming the attack on “plainclothes militants, agent provocateurs, fake Trump protesters, and disciplined uniformed column of attackers.”

Never mind the fact that more than 200 rioters have been criminally charged by federal prosecutors with a lot of them describing themselves as Trump supporters and with several of their lawyers using the defense that Donald Trump goaded their poor, stupid clients into doing these bad things.

Federal officials have said there is no substantial evidence of left-wing provocation or that anti-fascist activists posed as Trump supporters during the riot. It was all Trump supporters, racist goons, white nationalist mother fuckers.

So, Ron Johnson and other Republicans who are not named Adam Kinzinger, Liz Cheney, or Mitt Romney (you have four), why are you so eager to defend racists? Why is it so important that you cater to the hate element? Why are Republicans so afraid of offending white supremacists? Why are Republicans courting Nazis? And, can one goosestep while courting?

Wisconsin Lt. Governor Mandela Barnes tweeted, “Same man who fear mongers with unsubstantiated immigration claims, suggests that health care, food, and shelter are privileges, and continues to dismiss the virus. This is who we know.”

Wisconsin Democratic Representative Mark Pocan tweeted, “a small step away from blaming Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and Hodag’s (have to be from WI to know this reference) for the act of sedition on January 6.”

A little research tells me that a “Hodag” is a creatue with a needled tail and sharp fangs dreamed up by a Wisconsin huckster. Right now, Wisconsin needs to get rid of their Wisconsin huckster blaming his Dear Leader’s terrorism on Antifa.

Fact: Neither, Hodag nor Antifa is a real thing. Ron Johnson as a United States Senator should also not be a thing.

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