Trump

Dopey Defenders


cjones12132017

Russia is officially banned from the 2018 Olympics set in Pyeongchang, South Korea, which shows that the International Olympic Committee has more backbone and intestinal fortitude than Republican members of Congress, Fox News, and the President of the United States.

Russia peed all over the 2014 Winter Olympics, which was a lot more dignified than what they did to our presidential election. It was like hackers wearing sterilized gloves.

Russia didn’t just send athletes to test with someone else’s urine. Russians actually got into the laboratory in Sochi and manipulated the tests. Experts say they haven’t seen doping this widespread since the East Germans did it throughout the 1960s, ’70s and ’80s. That’s a lot of commie pee.

Putin has scoffed at the accusations which is probably good enough for Donald Trump. Putin also denied meddling in our election and that was all the authority our president needed on the issue.

Since Trump, Republicans, and the idiots at Fox News have chosen Russian nationalism over American security, I’m surprised they’re not mounting a vigorous defense of Russia and expressing outrage at the injustice heaped upon them. Trump sycophants have attacked the FBI, the Special Counsel, the press and anyone else who has tried to look into Russia’s meddling in the presidential election and collusion with the Trump campaign. The main strategy is to deflect by screaming for investigations into the investigators, and more investigations for Hillary Clinton.

Russian athletes who receive special dispensation to compete will do so as individuals wearing a neutral uniform, and the official record books will forever show that Russia won zero medals. I guess that means they won’t be allowed to wear their Trump T-Shirts.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Drunk Trump


cjones12092017

As Donald Trump spoke yesterday announcing a change in U.S. policy recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and that our embassy will move to that city, the world expressed outrage. Why would Trump enact a policy no president before him has been dumb enough to make? Why would he make a decision that every single world leader, other than the nitwit instigator leading Israel, knows is a horrible idea? Why would he remove us from the peace process? Why would he confirm Muslim belief that the United States favors Israel over the Palestinians? Why would he increase Muslim and Arab animosity toward America? Why enact a policy that will only initiate riots and kill people? Why….why…why….why is he slurring?

Seriously? What did we witness yesterday? Trump started the speech enunciating S’s and was able to say “the.” Near the end of his speech came the slurred “United Shtates.”

Did Mike Pence hit him with a blow dart shortly beforehand? That would explain why he stands behind Trump obediently like his dog with the satisfied expression of finally achieving a successful bowel movement. Maybe God’s divine plan for Mike Pence that required selling his soul to the Devil is finally going to play out.

Or, Trump is drunk. Trump swears he doesn’t drink and the only alcohol he’s ever consumed in his life is the wine he had with his “little cracker” the two times he’s been inside a church. I’d like to believe him. But, Trump has told us repeatedly he doesn’t drink. Trump has a pattern. Every time he repeats something again and again, it turns out to be the farthest thing from reality. You know, like nobody respects women more than he does, or he’s going to hire the best people, or he knows more than the generals.

The White House says he was suffering from dry mouth. The last time he was attacked with dry mouth he reached for a bottle of water that required using both of his tiny hands. He didn’t do that this time.

I’d like to believe he’s not drunk. However, he’s presidenting like he’s inside a liquor cabinet doing lines off the lower back of a Russian hooker. It would explain his racist rants and defense of Nazis like a drunk uncle. It makes the hypocrisy of attacking Al Franken while endorsing an Alabama pedophile understandable. It would explain why he can’t remember all the women who have accused him of sexual harassment. He is paranoid and believes Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. He would have to be drunker than Keith Richards to claim it’s not him on the Access Hollywood tape. He is “winning” like Charlie Sheen. You would have to be drunk to believe your 30-year-old son-in-law will negotiate Middle East peace.

If he’s not drunk then there are only two other explanations. The first is, he’s a billionaire with twelve dollar dentures.

The other explanation is, he’s an idiot. Yeah, he’s probably not drunk.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Deutsche?


cjones12082017

Robert Mueller is following the money.

According to reports which the White House are denying so you know they’re true, the Special Counsel’s office has subpoenaed Deutsche Bank for records of their financial dealing with Donald Trump.

Deutsche Bank is a German bank based in Germany and it’s well known as a place for Russian oligarchs to launder their money. They’re also one of the few, if not the very last, banks that will loan money to Donald Trump, as most banks have learned he’s corrupt, untrustworthy, and just an all-around piece of crap of a human being. Which, by the way, must be the kind of character you want to lead the largest democracy on the planet.

The German bank, which Trump has sued in the past and they’ve sued in return, has loaned Trump an estimated $300 million. They also do a lot of business with Jared.

If Trump was not a billionaire, he wouldn’t be able to get a membership at Costco.

Creative notes: Yeah, this cartoon is dangerous. It’s an online exclusive. I’m not sending it to my clients. I know they won’t run it and I don’t want to give them any heart attacks. If any of them, like my alternative weeklies or online-only clients, sees this and wants it then I’ll send it to them.

Is “douche” offensive? Sure. Is it sexist? I don’t think so. It’s no worse than being called a “dick.”

I created this pretty quickly because I just wanted to have some fun with it. I didn’t want to spend too much time on it since it’s not going to make me any money.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Creeper’s Endorsement


cjones12062017

Many Republicans couldn’t stand to see President Barack Obama in the White House and fly in Air Force One. It insulted their senses. I can relate somewhat because I am disgusted by Donald Trump occupying the Oval Office and using the first plane. The difference between my repulsion and theirs is that mine isn’t based on race. I don’t care that Trump is orange. The other difference is that it’s not just about his occupation. It’s what he’s doing and what he is.

If Donald Trump was not the President of the United States of America, he’d just be your run-of-the-mill disgusting billionaire. But, since he is president we have this disgusting human being who can reverse positive changes set by his predecessors. He can pardon criminals because it makes his racist base feel good. He can appoint judges to life-long positions who have never tried a case. He can remove protections from national parks because some rich bastards seek to destroy the land for coal.

What’s really disgusting is that what’s reprehensible about Trump was overlooked, ignored, or celebrated by the people who voted for him. Hillary Clinton got in trouble for calling his supporters deplorable. But, make no mistake about it. They’re deplorable and I won’t apologize for saying it.

This president, who has deflected and defended Nazis, has now officially endorsed an accused pedophile. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that Mr. Pussy Grabber, who claims they let you do whatever you want when you’re famous, who has boasted about barging into dressing rooms of teenage beauty pageants, and has his own accusers in the double digits would endorse an accused pedophile. But, it’s alarming that the Republican establishment has sacrificed anything that used to resemble principles to follow Trump’s lead. The Republican majority leader, who threatened to expel Moore if he won, and the Republican National Committee are now supporting the guy. So much for the party of family values. As it turns out, they were just pretending to care about that values stuff, kinda like how they really feel about deficits and government spending.

Apparently, if you’re a vote to give billionaires tax breaks then you’re allowed to grope little girls.

According to Roy Moore, the Republican candidate in Alabama for the United States Senate who is accused of stalking, dating, and sexually assaulting teenage girls, Trump called him on Monday and said, “go get em, Roy.” That’s not something I’d say to an accused pedophile.

Like Trump, Roy Moore was unqualified for office before the sexual accusations came out. He’s an idiot who doesn’t understand the issues and a religious zealot who was kicked off the state Supreme Court…TWICE.

People say this is the new normal. Others say this isn’t really us. I’m not sure about that anymore. Mitch McConnell is willing to let it become him. Orrin Hatch gladly accepted Trump’s endorsement yesterday, hours after Trump endorsed the pedophile. The ball is in Alabama’s court. Is this Alabama?

To Democrats, Independents, and anyone left in that state with a conscience, I’ll repeat Trump’s words. On election day, “go get ’em.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Furt Those Tweets


cjones12052017

After Trump fired his National Security Adviser Michael Flynn (after being on the job for only 24 days), he tweeted that he fired him for lying to Vice President Mike Pence. On Saturday, a tweet went out from Trump’s Twitter account stating he fired Flynn, not just for lying to Pence, but also for lying to the FBI.

This is where it gets troublesome for the orange doofus. Former FBI Director James Comey testified that Trump asked him, after he fired Flynn, to drop the case investigating him. If Trump knew Flynn lied to the FBI, breaking the law, then Trump was obstructing justice.

Trump’s legal team isn’t very good, but they know this. His outside lawyer, John Dowd, bit the bullet and took the blame for the tweet, stating he wrote it, and not Trump. Was Dowd also the one who snorted a line then tweeted out “Covfefe” at 3:00 AM too?

Proving he only has shoddy legal advice, Dowd said the tweet isn’t admitting an obstruction of justice. He’s also arguing that the president cannot obstruct justice because he’s the nation’s chief law enforcement officer. This guy might wanna look into a little episode called Watergate. Trump’s lawyers have also assured him the investigation will be over by January.

Trump is on the record stating he fired Comey because it would end the investigation into his collusion with Russia. Trump told this to the Russian ambassador and the Foreign Minister in the Oval Office. He told the same thing to journalist Lester Holt. Now, Trump is saying he never asked Comey to “go easy” on Flynn. Since Trump has a track record of lying about everything, from birtherism to crowd sizes to pussy grabbing, are we to believe him or Comey?

Someone, I can’t remember who, said Trump’s downfall will be his Tweeting. I believe that. It’s his own big fat mouth that is the cause of there even being a Special Counsel investigation. This weekend, he has attacked the FBI on Twitter, and this morning, he used his account to finally officially endorse a suspected pedophile for the United States Senate. Last week, he tweeted out videos created by a racist and anti-Islamophobic group in Britain. It’s disgusting and very disappointing what Trump is doing to his office.

If Trump’s lawyer really did send out that tweet, then he should be fired. If Trump sent it out, he needs to be fired too.

Creative notes: Saturday morning, I was sitting in the breakfast nook at home with my friends and one of them asked if I’d rush out a cartoon on the Senates tax cut vote. I told her I’d wait until Sunday, as I wanted to take Saturday night off, and I’d still be one of the first cartoonists to cover it. I was wrong.

I started working on a cartoon on that subject at 3:00 AM. Around 5:30, I thought of this idea. Suddenly, the 51 grim reapers I was drawing weren’t as interesting to me anymore. I really liked this idea. So, I put it aside and did this.

I like Rocky Horror but I’m not super goofy about it. Back in the 80s,  some friends and I went to see it at the theater and wore trench coats and threw rice at the screen. My best friend tried to sneak an egg into the place. I don’t know who he was going to pelt with it, but a busky security woman grabbed him by the crotch, where he was hiding the egg, and crushed it. He had to spend two hours sitting in the theater with yolky genitals. I don’t know how she knew he had the egg down there. Oh yeah. I told her.

Tonight: I’m doing the Ask Me Anything thing at 8:00 PM EST. A lot of people have already left questions. You should too. It should be fun, interesting, amusing, and maybe a little educational. It’ll be a must read if you’re a cartoon geek. Eighty-nine people have RSVP. How cool is that? I hope you check it out. Please do so I’ll look important.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Flynn Flam


cjones12042017

Donald Trump asked then FBI Director James Comey to drop the bureau’s investigation of former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. Trump did this because Flynn “is a good guy.” Trump did not want the investigation stopped because Flynn is a good guy. He wanted it ended because of what Flynn knows. Trump has asked Senators to end their investigations of Flynn also. Flynn might be the only person other than Vladimir Putin who Trump hasn’t derided or made an immature nickname for…yet.

Flynn was by Trump’s side through much of the campaign. After Trump secured the Republican nomination, he started receiving security briefings. Flynn attended these briefings which included details on Russia’s meddling in our election. During this time and after Trump won the presidency, Flynn was in secret talks with Russia trying to undermine current U.S. foreign policy.

Flynn was working as a lobbyist for the Turkish government while he was working on the Trump campaign and advocated for the U.S. government to expel a rebel cleric and enemy of the Turkish president. He lied about his involvement with Turkey on his foreign-agent disclosure forms.

Flynn also failed to report to the Defense Department’s inspector general’s office about his trip to Russia, where he sat next to Putin during a celebration for a Russian propaganda outlet. He also failed to report how much he was paid and later said in interviews that he didn’t know if he was paid.

When Trump first met President Obama at the White House, the legitimately-elected president told the one propped by Putin not to hire Flynn. Obama knew Flynn was compromised with Russia. Trump hired Flynn as his National Security Adviser anyway. Later, acting-Attorney General Sally Yates told the White House that Flynn was subject to blackmail from the Russians. Trump fired Yates.

Flynn lasted on the job for 24 days. Trump says he fired Flynn for lying to Vice President Mike Pence about his contacts with Russia, while also defending his contacts with Russia. He didn’t fire him for lying to Pence. Trump fired Flynn because The Washington Post found out about his lies. Firing Flynn, then asking for investigations to cease looking into Flynn, and firing the director of the FBI, is all part of Trump’s cover-up and obstruction of justice.

Flynn has now struck a plea bargain with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and he has pled guilty to lying to the FBI. Defenders of Trump claim this confession doesn’t have anything to do with Trump. They are overlooking why Mueller would agree to a deal with Flynn. The deal is made because Flynn is now cooperating with the Special Counsel’s office. Flynn was directed to talk to Russia by Jared Kushner and has said others on the transition team, headed by Pence, knew about the interactions.

Flynn can’t be explained away by the administration as a coffee boy or someone who didn’t have much of an impact with the campaign. As the expression goes, Flynn was “in like Flynn.” Flynn was by Trump’s side, speaking at rallies, attending strategy meetings and security briefings. Flynn was probably more involved and connected to Trump than anyone else not related to Trump.

Flynn violated the Logan Act, a federal law that imposes fines and/or imprisonment for unauthorized citizens who negotiate with foreign governments having a dispute with the United States. Flynn told Russia not to retaliate against the United States for enacting sanctions against them, and tried to get the Russians to vote or delay a vote against Israel. Nobody has ever been prosecuted for breaking this law, but we’re in a lot of new territory with the Trump administration. Flynn’s plea will likely keep him out of prison, and send others there instead.

Trump’s lawyer, Ty Cobb, referred to Flynn Friday as a former official of the Obama administration. That’s true, but Obama fired Flynn and told Trump not to hire him, proving that our previous president has a lot better judgement than our current one.

Flynn famously joined the crowd at the Republican National Convention in shouting “lock her up,” and stated, “if I did one tenth as she did,” referring to Hillary Clinton, “I would be in jail.” As Flynn left the courthouse Friday, a small crowd greeted him with “lock him up.” Being that Flynn is a Republican I am not sure he can appreciate the irony.

Trump’s administration is in a contest with those of Reagan and Nixon for which will have the most members indicted, charged, and sent to prison. I have my money on the Trump administration.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Trump Train Trolls


cjones12032017

Back in the old normal, journalists never referred to a politician as a liar. They were either wrong, mistaken, misinformed, misspeaking, or incorrect. That changed with Donald Trump as the man continues to repeat lies after being told they’re lies. Trump and his sycophants don’t just lie where you can say it’s their viewpoint. They lie to the extent that they choose their own facts. Kellyanne Conway even referred to them as “alternative facts.” That puts us into the new normal where it’s not unprofessional to state that the president is a liar. That rule also applies to calling him a troll.

A troll is a person who throws something into a conversation in order to deflect or distract you from the topic. Trump does that, but he also trolls to make people upset. He totally hijacks athletes in the NFL peacefully protesting racism, and turns into something disrespecting Americans who serve in our military. The hypocritical thing about that is Trump has disrespected people in our military.

He attends a ceremony honoring members of the Navajo nation who served in World War II, and he throws out a racist jab at Senator Elizabeth Warren. Later, his defenders like Sarah Huckabee Sanders says the biggest outrage should be directed toward Warren for lying about her heritage. Never mind the fact that Trump has lied about his heritage (he claims he’s Swedish when he’s actually German), or that Warren wasn’t at the ceremony or a topic for discussion at the event. When you bring up Trump’s racism, Warren’s heritage is not relevant. It just changes the subject.

He attacks Democrats and liberals accused of sexual abuse despite the fact he’s had multiple accusers, and he’s currently endorsing a pedophile for the Senate. That’s serious trolling.

Since it’s the Christmas season, let’s not exclude how he brags about how we’re saying “Merry Christmas” again. He actually has his supporters associating him more with that phrase than Jesus Christ. And, when have people ever been afraid or discouraged from expressing it or when was has it ever been outlawed? The guy creates problems where there isn’t one. It still distresses me that white conservatives claim victimization where it doesn’t exist. Trump is their hero.

This week, Trump tweeted out videos made by Britain First, a racist and anti-Muslim group. A group whose leader was charged with assaulting a Muslim woman and her children and a supporter murdered a Member of Parliament.

Apparently, there’s not enough Klansmen and Nazis in America for Trump to support that he has to extend his racism to Europe. There should not be a debate on whether Trump is a racist. The president of the United States is a racist.

The videos Trump tweeted out were Islamophobic created with the intention of increasing hatred toward Muslims. The details Britain First claimed in the videos can’t be confirmed, with one of them being an outright lie. That video is titled, “Muslim migrant beats up Dutch boy on crutches!” It does indeed show one boy attacking another on crutches. However, the attacker wasn’t an immigrant or even a Muslim. He just had darker hair.

This upset, not just Americans, but our allies in the United Kingdom. Prime Minister Theresa May condemned Trump’s tweeting of hate. Trump replied in a tweet, “don’t focus on me, focus on the destructive Radical Islamic Terrorism that is taking place within the United Kingdom. We are doing just fine!,” which was tweeted at Theresa May. Unfortunately, but not surprising, he tweeted it at the wrong Theresa May. The guy is too busy stirring up shit to do any research, like noticing this Theresa May only had about 60 followers. I’m not a genius, but I think I’d question why the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom only had 60 followers.

Sanders said we are focusing on the wrong detail by talking about how the videos are fake, and that the threat is very real. They need a lie to illustrate a real threat. Keep in mind these are the people who scream about “fake news.”

Trump is also hawking his tax cut plan without knowing the details. But, he knows enough that it’s going to make him and his spawn of trolls even richer. That doesn’t prevent him from lying that he won’t benefit from it personally, or that many of his rich friends are upset with him over it. Have you heard any of his rich friends complain about this proposed tax cut? Trump could prove it won’t benefit him if he’d only show us his tax returns.

Just like his blame if there’s a government shutdown, Trump will pin the failure of this “tax cut” on Democrats even though Republicans control both houses in Congress and the Presidency.

Now, there is talk that Trump still believes in birtherism, that the investigation into his meddling with Russia will be over by January, and that his voice on the Access Hollywood tape, which he has apologized for, isn’t his voice. He’s not just a troll. He’s an insane troll.

We have a racist, insane, trolling president. Many members of Parliament don’t want him to visit the UK. Who can blame them? We don’t want him here.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.