Trump

Go With The Flo


cjones09162018

If you are near the coastline in North Carolina, South Carolina, or Virginia, keep in mind while Hurricane Florence is approaching that Donald Trump believes he did a bang-up job with Puerto Rico.

While meeting with the director of FEMA, Trump told reporters, “I think probably the hardest one we had by far was Puerto Rico because of the island nature, and I actually think it was one of the best jobs that’s ever been done with respect to what this is all about. He continued, saying that Puerto Rico’s power grid was in “very bad shape” and that the U.S. territory was in “bankruptcy” before Hurricanes Maria and Irma hit last year. “I think that Puerto Rico was an incredible, unsung success,” he said.

Keep in mind, Hurricane Maria led to the deaths of nearly 3,000 Americans in Puerto Rico which would make it the second-deadliest hurricane in American history. This, for a president who refuses to believe in facts, qualifies as an “unsung success.” What else remains unsung in the Trump administration is Climate Change.

Don’t worry too much about the government not being ready this time, even though Trump won’t admit it wasn’t ready last time. Sure, Trump was surprised to learn the governor of Puerto Rico was not the president of what he later learned was an island, but he’s much more up to speed this time as he told reporters that this hurricane is “very big and wet.”

I feel better.

We also just learned that FEMA only gave 75 people funeral assistance, approving aid for just three percent of the 2,431 requests the agency received. Trump has called the situation in Puerto Rico not a “real catastrophe like Hurricane Katrina,” probably because that happened during another administration.

Another tidbit to keep in mind as Flo storms toward the Carolinas and Virginia is that FEMA just had $10 million diverted from its budget to Immigration and Customs Enforcement. What does ICE need the funds for? The official request stated it was for “higher priority detention and removal requirements.” That means baby jails. Diverting a huge chunk of FEMA’s budget at the start of hurricane season is a move made by people with the lack of compassion and empathy it takes to rip immigrant families apart.

While George W. Bush will be forever linked to Iraq and Katrina, Trump will have hurricanes and baby jails. His Democratic successor will have the rebuilding everything Trump destroyed.

While evacuating to escape Hurricane Florence, you won’t be blamed if you’re tempted to keep evacuating until you’re out the country.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Nazis Are Bad


cjones09152018

Last week during President Obama’s speech in Illinois, I tweeted, “There’s a black guy speaking on TV with total clarity and coherence. What the hell is this shit?” It received a lot of responses from people who miss a president who is eloquent, dignified, doesn’t engage in temper tantrums and childish insults, and can speak in complete sentences. The ability to enunciate probably threw quite a few people off.

Obama took several swipes at Trump’s presidency and asked at one point, “how hard can that be, saying Nazis are bad?”

Trump responded, but not by saying “Nazis are bad.” In fact, according to Bob Woodward’s book, Fear, when Trump finally did make a statement criticizing white supremacists after his speech praising Nazis, he said to then-staff secretary Rob Porter, “That was the biggest f—ing mistake I’ve made. You never make those concessions. You never apologize. I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. Why look weak? I can’t believe I got forced to do that. That’s the worst speech I’ve ever given. I’m never going to do anything like that again.”

That example may be the biggest difference between Obama and Trump. Obama can say “Nazis are bad.” Trump praises them and later says he didn’t do anything wrong.

Trump claimed he fell asleep during Obama’s speech, which is something he probably does during security briefings. But, the old man who has trouble staying awake if it’s not Fox News must have caught some of it. He was visibly upset over Obama pointing out that this economic recovery began under his watch.

Trump tweeted, “‘President Trump would need a magic wand to get to 4% GDP,’ stated President Obama. I guess I have a magic wand, 4.2%, and we will do MUCH better than this! We have just begun.” Only problem is, Obama never said that.

He also tweeted, “If the Democrats had won the Election in 2016, GDP, which was about 1% and going down, would have been minus 4% instead of up 4.2%.” That is another lie. In fact, the GDP had risen higher under Obama than it ever has under Trump.

Trump retweeted former Congressman Jason Chaffetz who said, “Barack Obama talked a lot about hope, but Donald Trump delivered the American Dream. All the economic indicators, what’s happening overseas, Donald Trump has proven to be far more successful than Barack Obama. President Trump is delivering the American Dream.” Of course, there’s no substance to that and it’s all just Trump booty kissing. Chaffetz, if you recall, said he wouldn’t be able to look his 15-year-old daughter in the eye and explain why he supported Trump after the Access Hollywood tape came out. Nineteen days later, he endorsed Trump. Hopefully, for Chaffetz, he’s as good at gaslighting his daughter as Trump is with his supporters.

What Republicans conveniently forget is that they gave us a recession. It may have been the worst since the Great Depression. They also forget that Obama pulled us out of it with them fighting every measure he implemented to improve the economy. Today, they claim how horrible Obama was for the economy while giving Trump credit for the job he did.

Isn’t that just like Republicans? A black guy does a great job, and they give the credit to an old white dude. I always ask Trump supporters, if Obama was so bad then why are you taking all the credit for the job he did? They, being gaslighted, are convinced the economic recovery began January 21, 2017.

Republicans are just as bad with facts as they are at saying “Nazis are bad.” But then again, it’s hard to admit when you’re bad.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Searching For Anonymous


cjones09122018

I honestly thought the identity of “Anonymous,” the White House staffer who wrote an op-ed published by The New York Times Wednesday night, would have been discovered by noon on Thursday, and by 6:00 P.M., there would have been a very public firing. But, I forgot who we’re dealing with here?

Donald Trump finding Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous? Trump can’t even say “anonymous.” 

I made a joke on social media that if they conduct their search among the more literate members of the White House staff, then it’d be a very short search. But in reality, they gotta search through everyone working for Trump who believes he’s an idiot. In case you haven’t noticed the consistent theme coming from each book and reports in news outlets covering the White House, there’s a lot of people working there who believe Donald Trump is a world-class idiot, mentally incompetent, and without any idea or ability to do the job of president. The only people who don’t believe Donald Trump is an idiot are his fellow idiots who still support him. You can spot them at rallies and on Fox News.

While all of D.C. is playing a parlor game of trying to figure out the identity of Anonymous, the White House is turning the place upside down. Over thirty officials have publicly stated “not me,” just as Mark Felt swore during Watergate that he wasn’t Deep Throat.

Senator Rand Paul has suggested that the White House start forcing employees to take polygraph tests, which would probably explode by being in the same building as Donald Trump. Trump, has called the writer a traitor and demanded that the Times report his identity in the interest of national security. He’s even floating the idea of the Justice Department going after the Times for the identity.

The anonymous op-ed hasn’t proved anything we don’t already know. It’s also proving that Trump wants to be a dictator, use the Justice Department to go after his enemies, and turn our nation into a banana republic. Trump’s statements on going after “Anonymous” proves he should be removed from office.

Senator Elizabeth Warren believes the 25th Amendment should be implemented. I agree. Staffers from previous administrations weren’t writing anonymous op-eds claiming the president was an idiot, and they were working to thwart the damage he was seeking to inflict upon the nation. Senior members of other administrations didn’t have to deny they called the president an “idiot,” a “fucking moron,” or “retarded.” No one had to deny calling him “childish” and a “baby.” The reason all this is happening now isn’t because there’s a “deep state.” It’s because Donald Trump is a vile and horrible human being who is the worst president in American history. He needs to be removed.

Trump warns us that if he’s impeached, then the blame lies squarely on those who didn’t vote for Republicans in the upcoming midterms. When it comes to taking that blame, I won’t be anonymous.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Kavanaugh’s Conundrum


cjones09112018

Brett Kavanaugh should not be confirmed for the Supreme Court, where Trump’s last nominee, Neil Gorsuch also shouldn’t be currently sitting for the rest of his life.

The Republicans stole an appointment from President Barack Obama. They wouldn’t even let his nominee, Merrick Garland, a man they had previously confirmed for a lower court, on the nonsense that a president can’t appoint during an election year. Thus, they let the seat remain vacant for nearly a year on the gamble a Republican would win the presidency. Their gamble paid off. They argued that the people should decide who appoints to the Supreme Court, ignoring the fact that the people did decide in 2012. The people gave Obama four years to perform the duties of the presidency, not three.

After stealing that seat, the Republicans changed the rules from requiring 60 votes for confirmation, to 50. Now, they’re about to do it again.

Before the hearings for Kavanaugh, the Republicans withheld thousands of documents, only to dump them on the Democrats the night before the hearings and barring members of the Senate from releasing them to the public.

Kavanaugh is being cagey and refusing to answer if a president can be indicted, pardon himself, pardon his friends in exchange for their testimony, or if Roe v. Wade can be overturned. All this means is that Donald Trump got to select another judge to rule in his favor if a subpoena for his testimony lands before the highest court. It also means the Supreme Court will make abortion illegal, thus actually killing millions of women.

Perhaps the biggest reason Kavanaugh should not be confirmed is because he was nominated by Donald Trump.

Donald Trump may have broken the law to become president. He is accused of directing someone to commit a crime while he was the Republican presidential nominee. He may have colluded with Russia and have engaged in a conspiracy to steal the election. He may have paid foreign hackers to disrupt the election. All of this would make him an illegitimate president. We can’t have people appointed by Vladimir Putin.

Trump is also mentally unhinged. The people closest to Trump believe he is incapable of doing his job, and he’s a danger to the nation. His own words and tweets confirm the man is insane. I don’t believe a crazy man should be making lifetime appointments to any court, especially the Supreme Court.

America doesn’t want Kavanaugh on the Court. Only 37 percent of those polled by ABC News and The Washington Post support his confirmation. The only two nominees who have fared worse in the poll’s history are Harriet Miers (a legal counsel for the second Bush) and Robert Bork (a Reagan nominee who was so far out on the right-wing fringe, it would have been like putting Alex Jones on the Court). Both of those nominees failed. Kavanaugh should fail, but he probably won’t because we live in Crazytown.

No president should be allowed to pick their judge. The Republicans need to stop allowing Trump to turn this nation into a banana republic. A president in the last year of his term can’t nominate but an unindicted co-conspirator with major mental deficiencies can?

The only hearings we should be having at this place and time is over which federal penitentiary where Trump should be serving his sentence.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Orange Ya’ Glad You Asked?


cjones09092018

Here’s a bonus cartoon for you. I don’t feel like I need to blog about this one since I already covered the Woodward book today.

Orange ya’ glad I stayed up to give you a bonus cartoon?

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Fear Woodward


cjones09082018

In 1991, I met editorial cartoonist Draper Hill at my first cartoonist convention, and he drew me a doodle of Richard Nixon. Next to that drawing, he wrote something like, “too bad you won’t ever have the likes of me to cover.” So, basically, this is all Draper’s fault. He jinxed us with that drawing.

Draper, who passed away in 2009, loved drawing Nixon. I saw him draw for a few other people over the years and I think each drawing was Nixon. He couldn’t get over Nixon. Will I be like Draper in the future, continuing to draw Donald Trump? Will I get over Trump? It didn’t occur to me to ask Draper if he ever got tired of drawing Nixon, because I’m really tired of drawing Trump.

Draper was wrong except my son of a bitch to cover may actually be worse than Nixon. On the day The Washington Post published excerpts of Bob Woodward’s new book, we overlooked the fact that Trump is screaming at his Justice Department for indicting two Republicans close to an election. Any day now, Trump is going to tweet, “I am corrupt. Suck it, America!”

Bob Woodward is famous for covering Watergate for The Washington Post, reporting that brought down the Nixon administration. He used anonymous sources back then too, most famously, Deep Throat. Now, Trump and his sycophants are basically accusing Woodward of creating quotes, as though it’s something he’s been getting away with for five decades.

Like other books about Trump, this one paints a White House in constant chaos. Unlike other books covering Trump, this author has impeccable credibility. You could ask Nixon about that if he wasn’t dead. Reading the excerpts of “Fear,” the title of the book, it sounds less like a functioning branch of the government and more like a script for the entire season of The Simpsons, back in season seven when it was funny. It describes a White House having a nervous breakdown.

There are details of aides removing papers from Trump’s desk, so he couldn’t sign them. There’s a part in the book of his ordering a hit on the leader of Syria (which is another example of his directing someone else to break the law). He questions why we have troops in South Korea.

After the meeting about South Korea, Defense Secretary James Mattis reportedly told associates that Trump had the understanding of a fifth or sixth grader. Mattis now says he never said such a thing, or would he ever about the president. But, he probably owes an apology to fifth and sixth graders.

Chief of Staff John Kelly reportedly told colleagues that Trump is an “idiot,” and “We’re in Crazytown. I don’t even know why any of us are here. This is the worst job I’ve ever had.” Donald Trump now has the most denials of any president that his staff has called him names like “idiot” or “fucking moron.” Also, Crazytown is less fun than Funkytown.

Trump called Attorney General Jeff Sessions a “traitor” for recusing himself from the investigation and said, “This guy is mentally retarded. He’s this dumb Southerner. . . . He couldn’t even be a one-person country lawyer down in Alabama.” Trump has denied this statement, but it’s hard not to believe if you follow Trump’s attacks on Sessions through his Twitter account. But, leave it to Trump to insult Southerners and the mentally ill in one fell swoop.

After saying there were good people and blame on “both sides” in the Charlottesville racist rally which killed one person, Trump was pressured to criticize white supremacists. Afterward, he said, “That was the biggest fucking mistake I’ve made” and the “worst speech I’ve ever given.” Let that sink in. For Trump, it was a mistake to criticize, even subtly, Nazis.

Former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus described the staff with, “When you put a snake and a rat and a falcon and a rabbit and a shark and a seal in a zoo without walls, things start getting nasty and bloody.” This White House isn’t very good with metaphors. Ask former spokesgoon Sean Spicer who came up with, “a unicorn riding a unicorn over a rainbow” to describe Trump.

Perhaps most interesting are the details of Trump practicing with his attorneys to testify before Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Trump reportedly got upset and said, “This thing’s a goddamn hoax. I don’t really want to testify.”

Later, Trump’s personal attorney John Dowd, who resigned shortly after, told Mueller, “I’m not going to sit there and let him look like an idiot. And you publish that transcript, because everything leaks in Washington, and the guys overseas are going to say, ‘I told you he was an idiot. I told you he was a goddamn dumbbell. What are we dealing with this idiot for?'” Dowd basically told Mueller that Trump can’t testify without committing perjury.

Later, Dowd told Trump, “Don’t testify. It’s either that or an orange jumpsuit,” which is something lawyers don’t usually say to innocent clients. Trump said “I’ll be a real good witness,” to which Dowd replied, “You are not a good witness. I’m afraid I just can’t help you.” The next morning, Dowd resigned. He’s not a good president either.

There is a familiar pattern in every book about Donald Trump, and I don’t think you can say Bob Woodward’s equivalent as a reporter, chronicler of events, and historian is Omarosa. But it’s clear that nobody can walk out of that White House without wearing a horrified expression as if they’d seen a headless ghost chopping up babies and puppies. We have a president who needs babysitters who are very good at distracting.

Let’s hope they can keep distracting, can keep him on the golf course, and can keep sneaking papers off his desk, so we don’t end up declaring war on Narnia. I can think of one good distraction that can work out for the entire nation.

Let Trump testify and give that orange jumpsuit theory a ride.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

No Bums Allowed


cjones09062018

If you’re ostracized, blacklisted, shut out, and generally just avoided and uninvited by anyone with the least modicum of decency, maybe the issue isn’t with them but with you. At what point do you ask yourself, “am I really that unpleasant of a person?” Maybe, and I’m just spitballing here, but it’s when everyone who works with you is required to sign non-disclosure agreements, so they don’t inform the world just how vile and disgusting you are.

Donald Trump was not invited to the funeral for Barbara Bush. He has had a long-running feud with the Bush family from Jeb to W. and he’s made it personal.

He wasn’t invited to John McCain’s funeral because he attacked McCain on the campaign trail, saying he’s not a war hero and that he likes people who weren’t captured. He continued to attack McCain while he was dying. He refused to mention his name while speaking about a bill named after McCain. Reportedly, he wouldn’t allow the White House to issue a positive statement about McCain after his death, and only issued condolences to his family. After one day, the White House stopped flying the flag at half-mast, and only returned it to that position of respect after public pressure.

Trump wasn’t invited to the royal wedding just because he’s really icky. Prince Harry probably remembers that Trump claimed he could have had sex with his mother just days after she died. I hope he was referring to when she was alive.

If Trump wasn’t rich, the only invites he’d ever receive would be to Klan gatherings. He definitely wouldn’t have rich friends, have married three models, and his own children probably wouldn’t have anything to do with him, that is if he could have found a woman willing to bear his offspring. The closest he would have ever gotten to Playmates and porn stars would be through magazines and the internet, like most people. He would be the angry guy at the end of the bar complaining about the government, except he would have been banned from that bar.

He’s a very irritable person. He’s a narcissistic, sexist, racist, stupid, angry con man who spreads conspiracy theories. This is a guy who praises Nazis and steals from charity. Physically, he’s a supposed billionaire with the worst comb-over in the world that isn’t fooling anyone. He owns a clothing line yet has never worn a suit that didn’t cover his body like a potato sack. On top of all that, he eats burnt steaks smothered in ketchup.

The very worst thing about Donald Trump is that the Republican Party has turned into his image. Now, to be a Republican you’re required to be an asshole. If you don’t believe me, just hashtag McCain’s name on Twitter and see what you find.

Whether you agree with their policies or not, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton are very likable people. Clinton and George H.W. Bush even became close years after their bitter campaigns against each other. Trump’s jealousy of them is only eclipsed by his intense envy and hatred of Barack Obama. In addition to being popular, he’s a very decent human being. The real irony is that Trump waged a conspiracy theory to delegitimize the presidency of Obama, yet it’s Trump’s presidency that is really illegitimate and riding on the coattails of his predecessor’s accomplishments.

Who likes Trump? Only the most vilest, disgusting, horrid, and despicable people. If they don’t fit any of those traits, then they’re just really stupid.

Maybe it’s not always your fault when some people don’t want to be around you anymore. But when it’s everyone, trust me. It’s not them, it’s you.

If Donald Trump had the capacity to be honest with himself, then he would do some soul-searching. The only problem with that is, he’d have to have a soul first. Trust me, Donald. It’s not them. It’s all on you.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.