Trump

Gopher His Balls


cjones02262021

When Donald Trump was running for president in 2016, he promised he would release his taxes returns to the public. He repeated the promise over and over while not delivering on it. After he won the election, he said screw it and that nobody could see them, nobody had the right, and claimed the public was OK with it because they had elected him without seeing them in the first place, ignoring that the majority of voters did not vote for him.

One of Trump’s excuses for not showing his taxes was that he was under audit. He was always under audit and lied that you can’t show your taxes to the public during an audit…despite the fact other presidents and candidates have done that.

Over time, some of his taxes leaked here and there and there are mysteries. Mysteries like, how did someone get so rich while losing so much money? How many porn stars has he paid off? Are hair transplants a tax-deductible expense? How can you pay someone as a consultant while they’re also an employee and your daughter? And how can you claim in tax filings that a property has lost money while claiming its value has increased in loan applications? It boggles the mind.

What else boggles the mind is why so many were OK with Donald Trump hiding his income and the sources. Trump supporters loved to brag Donald Trump is a billionaire, almost as much Trump loved to make that brag. They argued him being rich was good for all of us because he’d use his business smarts in the interest of the country and soon, we’ll all be rich. Yay.

Yeah, that didn’t happen. Most poor white people don’t think they’re poor. They think they’re rich but the money just hasn’t come in yet. And as it turns out, Trump’s business smarts is all in grifting.

The thing is, maybe it’s important to understand how someone obtained their wealth. I mean, do you want a guy in office who got his wealth through fraud? Why don’t we just vote for mobsters? Or, do you think it’s an achievement when someone inherits wealth? As it turns out, Donald Trump did both. And when it came to debt, Donald Trump does understand personal and business debt. Government debt, not so much. Also, he didn’t care. His first big achievement was driving the deficit up to give himself a huge tax cut.

But when someone is in office and they’re still being paid from other sources, don’t you want to see what those sources are? Don’t you want to see who he owes money to? Don’t you want to know why Putin owns him? Don’t you want to understand that him not taking a salary while charging you for his golf outings is all a shell game? No? Because you’re a cult? OK, then.

I saw a post yesterday by someone highly upset the Supreme Court would dare hand Trump’s tax returns over to prosecutors. That’s some real sycophancy right there. You would have thought the government had audited Jesus.

Donald Trump has spent years bragging about his tax returns…and he’s spent years hiding them. He’s also been fighting New York prosecutors over access to them. Yesterday, the Supreme Court, with three Trump appointees on the bench (two stolen, one borrowed) allowed the Manhattan District Attorney to have access to Trump’s taxes.

Now, we’re going to find out about all those deductions for income losses while claiming property value has risen. We’re going to find out why he paid his daughter as an adviser while she was also an employee. We’re going to find out if he should be audited for a $72 million deduction he claimed. We’re going to find out if he should only have paid $750.00 in a tax year. We should find out how many porn stars he paid off.

Will we see these taxes? Yes, we will. No, we’re not supposed to and they probably won’t be seen from the DA’s office until they use it as evidence in a trial. But if Congress gets their hands on them, they’ll be leaked faster than Trump on a porn star. And it won’t even be the Democrats leaking the taxes. It’ll be Republicans.

The Republican Party is openly kissing Donald Trump’s ass while they secretly want him to go away. When they get his taxes, they’ll be leaked. Republicans have a more vested interest in destroying Donald Trump now than Democrats do.

Donald Trump is corrupt and he’s a cheater. This is a man who stole from charity and once swiped a child’s golf ball after the kid made a better shot than he did. Donald Trump is immoral without any principles. Hopefully, this is the beginning for Donald Trump to finally be held accountable.

Donald Trump wants four more years in the White House. I want at least four years for him in prison.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have NINE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Scared Trumpers


cjones02212021

Perhaps the main takeaway viewers got from CNN’s town hall with President Joe Biden was that we were listening to answers from an adult president. We have a president who isn’t a fear mongerer trying to capitalize from hate. Unlike his predecessor, we have a president now who does NOT behave like a poo-flinging monkey. I apologize for that comparison to all poo-flinging monkeys.

Even when President Biden gave answers liberals didn’t want, like you’re not going to get free college just yet, there was still comfort they were listening to an adult, someone who is honest. It was comforting. The highlight was probably when President Biden comforted a child.

A mother with her eight-year-old daughter stood up and asked Biden what to tell kids who are worried about getting Covid and dying. President Biden said, “Don’t be scared, honey. You’re gonna be fine. Don’t be scared. And we’re gonna make sure that mommy’s fine too.” He told her directly that kids don’t usually get the coronavirus, and when they do, they very rarely pass it on. He asked another questioner, whose son couldn’t get a vaccination from the virus despite serious medical issues, to hang around and talk to him after the town hall and he would see if he could help her. Did Trump ever hang around after to help anyone who wasn’t him? Did Donald Trump ever try to help anyone without getting something for it?

It was a refreshing change from a president (sic) who gave shout-outs to Nazis.

Of course, the MAGAts tried to fake outrage over President Biden calling a little girl, “honey.” These are probably the same people who laughed at Rush Limbaugh’s parody of “Puff the Magic Dragon,” but titled, “Obama the Magic Negro.” These are probably the same people who laughed when Donald Trump, “their president,” mocked a handicapped reporter with an impersonation.

Donald Trump was a hater who gained the presidency on fear and racism. His very first plan as a candidate was to build a racist border wall to keep out the “rapists and murderers” Mexico was sending us. He defended murderous Nazis marching with tiki torches while chanting “Jews will not replace us.” He gave a shout-out to the Proud Boys, a racist group the FBI says is an extremist group with ties to terrorism, while Canada doesn’t hold back and has classified them as terrorist.

President Biden said he had received calls from all of the living former presidents except one. I think we know who that is but he probably doesn’t count. And in reference to that guy, Biden didn’t want to talk about him and even referred to him as that “former guy.” I like that. It’s better than “former president.” But, some of us are obviously still talking about that former guy. So let’s talk about him.

There were a lot of things President Biden said that the former guy would never say.

That former guy wanted to feed his base, which is why he gave shout-outs to Nazis. President Biden actually told his base things they didn’t want to hear, as in no defunding of the police. He actually wants to increase funding for police. When a woman brought up the government canceling $50,000 in student loan debt per borrower and asked, “What will you do to make that happen?”. President Biden said, “I won’t.”

President Biden called those who support white supremacist ideals “dangerous” and “demented” and said his administration will review the rise of white supremacy among the military and former police officers (maybe defund racist cops? Hmm?). Donald Trump didn’t go after racists. He gave them shout-outs and praise. He talked about how much they “loved their country.” Donald Trump embraced Qanon cultists at his political rallies. By the way, if you’re still defending the attack on the Capitol, claiming the election was stolen, and support Donald Trump, you’re dangerous and demented.

President Biden said that for four years, the news has been nothing but Trump. He said, “For the next four years, I want to make sure all the news is about the American people.” Do you know who would never say that? The former guy who would hate that. He loved it being all about him. In fact, MAGA is all about Trump and less about policy. Today, 70% of Republicans want the party to be the party of Trump. MAGA is a cult.

But the one thing President Biden said that Donald Trump couldn’t have ever said even it was on a teleprompter in front of him, written by someone else, and after he had received a brain transplant was, “I literally pray that I have the capacity to do for the country what you all deserve need be done.” Pray? That former guy only went to church for photo-ops and literally didn’t know the Bible well enough to tell which side was up.

A lot of MAGAts refuse to believe Joe Biden is their president. Many still believe Donald Trump will retake the White House, not in four years, but next month. Seriously. And to be fair, Donald Trump wasn’t my president but that’s because I refused to recognize someone as president who was aided by Russia and conducted everything on hate. I refused to accept a “president” who didn’t actually want to do the job as president. I didn’t accept Trump as my president because being the president for white supremacists made it clear to me that Trump did NOT want to be my president. The people who refuse to accept Joe Biden do so because he’s decent and not that hater…except for the extreme liberals. They’re still upset he’s not Bernie.

No Green Deal, people. Sorry. It sounds good on paper but right now, people in Texas could probably use a few more cow farts.

But here’s the thing, MAGAts: Donald Trump is not coming back to retake the White House next month. And since he lost the popular vote twice, it’s not looking good for him in four years either.

Joe Biden is not perfect, but he is a good man. He’s decent. He’s honest. He doesn’t put himself first. It’s not all about him. He doesn’t try to scare everyone to keep himself in power. He doesn’t give shout-outs to Nazis. And I understand there are a lot of people, Republicans, who miss having a president who sucked up to Nazis. But he’s gone and he’s probably never coming back.

Joe Biden is your president whether you like it or not. And maybe you should start getting used to it….honey.

Creative note: I have not been happy with my caricature of President Joe Biden. Some days, I’m OK with it. Others, I am frustrated. And I was getting frustrated with it last night until this version came out of my stylus. I tried a new tactic of trying to draw his actual face instead of caricaturing him…then turning it into a caricature. The photo I worked off from, found in Google Images, is this one. How long I’m happy with it is still to be determined.

Other creative note: I had just started working on this cartoon and was planning to publish it yesterday afternoon when a friend messaged me that Rush Limbaugh had died. I had CNN on my TV but they hadn’t reported yet. A quick run to my FB timeline showed a lot of posts about Rush dying so I knew it was probably true. You can’t trust nitwits on social media. Last week, someone said Andy Griffith just died. But soon after, CNN came through. But I stopped drawing this cartoon and went to work on the Rush one you saw yesterday. That took about 20 minutes.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have 10 copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Censure Culture


cjones02182021

Republicans must think they have a free pass with hypocrisy.

During the Obama years, they complained about him issuing executive orders and claimed he was using them trying to be a monarch. They championed Donald Trump’s executive orders and added them to his list of accomplishments. President Obama issued 276 executive orders to Donald Trump’s 220. In case you are a Republican, let me remind you that President Obama served two terms and Donald Trump only one because he lost his reelection to President Joe Biden. In case you’re a Republican, I should also remind you that a presidential term is four years and when you serve two terms, four times two equals eight. President Obama served eight years and Donald Trump only served four because he lost his reelection to President Joe Biden.

Also, I don’t recall President Obama ever showing off his signature on executive orders the way Donald Trump did as though he had just figured out how to write his own name. And from looking at his signature, I’m not sure he ever did.

Remember when Republicans hated on Obama for playing golf? I think there were a thousand political cartoons from right-wing troglodyte cartoonists on it. How many cartoons did they draw about Donald Trump playing golf? Zero. For the sake of comparison, let’s compare. According to Golf News Net, in case you’re a Republican, is a website about golf, President Obama played 333 games. Donald Trump, according to Statista.com, in case you’re a Republican, is a website about statistics, he played golf 285 times. Wow! President Obama played more golf than Trump. Oh yeah. President Obama served two terms and Donald Trump only one because he lost his reelection to President Joe Biden.

Another point on this is that when President Obama played golf, it was usually on a federal course which means it was at minimal cost to taxpayers. When Donald Trump played golf, each and every time it was at one of his resorts, which means we paid Donald Trump to play golf. His fans, cultists, love to point out that Trump donated his salary. But we paid him more than his salary to play golf. It’s estimated his golfing costs us $142 million. Most of that went directly into Donald Trump’s pocket. Which is another example of Republican hypocrisy.

They scream about the “deep state” and corruption yet ignore that Donald Trump grifted taxpayers at his resorts and hotels.

But it takes a special skill to whine about “cancel culture” while calling people “snowflakes.”

Republicans have a new term and it’s “cancel culture.” Anytime a Republican is told, “Sorry, we don’t want to hear any of your racism today,” they start screaming, “Cancel culture!”

They scream and yell that it’s censorship when they’re not allowed to express their “conservative” viewpoints on non-government platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. But I haven’t heard of any Republican being kicked off Twitter for talking about conservative issues like the flat tax, or decreasing government regulations, or stripping away the inheritance tax so trust-fund babies can finally catch a break. No. I only hear about them being kicked off for spreading conspiracy theories, racism, and organizing and promoting white nationalist terrorism.

Actress Gina Carano was fired by Lucasfilm and Disney for comparing the criticism Republicans receive to the way Jews were treated by the Nazis. Gina would have an excellent point if all the Nazis did was talk bad about about Jews.

Trump cultists used the term when Donald Trump was kicked off Twitter permanently claiming his viewpoints were being discriminated against, ignoring the fact he used the platform to help instigate a terrorist attack on the United States government.

And now, the Cancel Culture Club is engaging in cancel culture within their own ranks. Republicans are censuring Republicans for acting like Republicans.

You see, kids, once upon a time the Republican Party was a party of issues and not one that worshipped a cult of stupid racist moronic personality. Today, the party is a cult. It’s totally built around one man. One very stupid, moronic, racist man.

Senator Lindsey Graham, who once said Donald Trump would destroy the party, has proven his point by stating the future of the party is Lara Trump. Who? That’s one of them gold diggers who married a Trump spawn. Wait until the entire organization is auctioned off in legal and criminal settlements. What are Lara’s qualifications for the United States Senate? She did marry the dumbest Trump which probably still makes her smarter than Lindsey Graham.

Lindsey Graham, who once called Donald Trump a “jackass” and a “kook,” said the “MAGA movement must continue.” Really? Donald Trump was an incumbent who lost reelection and you want that “movement” to continue? I predict if the “MAGA movement” continues, it’ll only make states trending blue trend faster. Say goodbye to Georgia, Arizona, and possibly even North Carolina. Democrats will eventually get Texas in that deal.

Congressthingperson and Qanon follower, Marjorie Taylor Greene, said that the Republican Party “belongs to Donald Trump and no one else.” She said, “It’s his party.” And he can cry if he wants to.

Signs you are in a cult include not being able to recognize that you’re a hypocrite and you’re not making sense. Another sign you’re in a cult is being unable to recognize you’re in a cult. If you are a follower of Trump and believe he’s going to come back and retake the presidency, or that the election was stolen from him, congratulations. You’re in a cult.

The Republican Party, the warriors against cancel culture because they believe everybody’s speech should be free, independent, and protected, is now cancel culturing out its own people for exercising free speech and independence. How day they stray from the Church of Trump.

After Donald Trump lost the to Joe Biden, the Arizona GOP censured Cindy McCain and former Senator Jeff Flake for endorsing Biden. They also censured their own Republican governor for working to combat the coronavirus instead of engaging in fear mongering and politicization of the pandemic.

After last Saturday’s vote in the Senate Trial that saw seven Republicans vote to convict Donald Trump, those seven are now being punished by the Republican Party. How dare they try to make someone responsible for inciting a terrorist attack. How dare they leave the Church of MAGA.

In North Carolina, the Republicans have censured Senator Richard Burr for his vote. Burr said, “My party’s leadership has chosen loyalty to one man over the core principles of the Republican Party and the founders of our great nation.” The core principle of the Republican Party is now Trump, which is ironic because Donald Trump doesn’t have any principles.

The Republicans in Pennsylvania censured Senator Pat Toomey for his vote.

The Republicans in my home state of Louisiana didn’t wait long in censuring Senator Bill Cassidy. They issued their proclamation the same day at the Senate vote. Cassidy replied, “Our Constitution and our country is more important than any one person. I voted to convict President Trump because he is guilty.”

Republicans in Utah are passing a petition around that states Senator Mitt Romney, “appears to be an agent for the Establishment Deep State” and “misrepresented himself as a Republican” during his 2018 campaign. Even the state party realizes that is nuts and they’re backing off a censure, but still…a lot of GOP cultists in Utah are pissed…and not just because they have to live in Utah.

Republicans in Maine have told their members “to be prepared for an emergency state committee meeting in the near future” over Senator Susan Collins’ vote to convict Trump.

And in Nebraska, Senator Ben Sasse has basically said to “Bring it on.” Sasse said, “You are welcome to censure me.” He then told them, “But let’s be clear about why this is happening. It’s because I still believe, as you used to, that politics isn’t about the weird worship of one dude.”

In Alaska, Senator Lisa Murkowski’s vote to convict may lure a challenge from…wait for it…Sarah Palin. And if you are a liberal political cartoonist, you’re thinking right now, “Oh please, God…make this happen and I’ll never eat pork again.” Gods against eating pork, right? I don’t know. How about tentacles? If Sarah Palin runs for the Senate, I’ll never eat tentacles again! You have my word.

Illinois Congressman, Republican Adam Kinzinger, has been shunned by eleven members of his own family which I can relate to. They wrote a certified letter to his father stating the congressman was a “disappointment” to them and “to God.” They were upset over his “horrible, rude accusations” to “president (sic) Trump.” The part that reeks of similarities to my sisters said, “It is now most embarrassing to us that we are related to you.” Then, they accused him of being in the “Devils Army.’

Do you know how to tell when you’re in a cult? When you accuse others of being in the “Devils Army.”

Each of these Republicans put their career at risk in opposing Trump. Kinzinger has been at odds with Trump since 2015, even receiving a message from Donald that he should go “fuck himself,” which makes me jealous. I wish I had a “go fuck yourself” from a Trump. But the party should appreciate and value members who are this brave. Instead, the party caves into fear and cult worship.

Do you know how to tell if you’re a cult? It’s when you seek to destroy those who disagree with your leader, the Dear Leader in this case. The Republican Party is behaving like the Workers’ Party of Korea.

Cassidy says our nation and Constitution are more important than just one person. Sasse says the party shouldn’t be “weird worship of one dude.” But Republicans are saying no.

The Republican Party, the party that was once the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Ike, and Reagan, has put the weird worship of one dude before the Constitution and country. If you don’t believe me, look at what happened January 6. That was all for one weird dude.

The party of Trump that canceled Colin Kaepernick because of his opinions is now eating its own, ignoring its inconsistency. But canceling someone for his/her opinion is much different than canceling someone because s/he is racist or spreading dangerous bullshit. They also fail to see that being removed from non-government platforms and outlets is NOT censorship.

If you’re an asshole and I don’t want you in my house, that’s not cancel culture or censorship. That’s me not wanting an asshole in my house.

I have an assignment for Trump cultists who may be reading today’s blog. Read the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. After you read it, report back here in the comments section and explain how it applies to Twitter banning Donald Trump. Tell me how it applies to Disney firing Gina Carano.

There is a huge difference in all these “cancellations.” Gina Carano was fired for saying stupid insensitive shit, comparing being criticized to the Holocaust. Donald Trump was banned for starting riots. Cartoonist Ben Garrison was kicked off Twitter for sharing debunked racist conspiracy theories. Republicans are canceling Republicans for trying to make someone accountable for his actions. These Republicans are being censured, which is a punishment without any consequence, for not being sufficiently sycophantic.

It’s not cancel culture. It’s consequence culture. And Republicans don’t want any Republicans to face consequences for racism, conspiracy theories, or aiding and abetting terrorists.

And if the Republican Party is just going to be a cult to the “weird worship of one dude,” we need to cancel Republican culture.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Presidents’ Day, 2021


CNN02142021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Abraham Lincoln was a great president. He was our best. You can pull more than just one quote from the man. Likewise with John F. Kennedy. Even Reagan, who was not a great president, left us with more than one memorable quote. There were others I couldn’t fit in here, like George Washington, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Teddy Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, or Lyndon Johnson.

Not every president is remembered for a quote. If you research, you’ll be able to find one from a president like Franklin Pierce, but you don’t know one off the top of your head. What I want to know is, what quote will Donald Trump be remembered for?

Will it be his “Fine people on both sides” when he praised Nazis? What about, “Shithole countries”? Maybe it’ll be when he gave terrorists a shout-out when he said, “Proud boys, stand back and stand by.” How about, “There’s my African-American”?

Or, he’ll be remembered for, “We’re gonna march down to the Capitol” which was followed by a white nationalist terrorist attack in attempt to overturn an election he lost, and install him as a dictator.

For what quote do you think Trump will be remembered? Let me know in the comments. You have a lot to choose from.

For the record, Donald Trump was impeached both times while he was still president. If you have issues with the trial in the Senate being after he left office, in which he tried to remain in through a bloody coup attempt, blame Mitch McConnell for delaying the trial until after Trump left town.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Acquitted


cjones02162021

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

The Face That Wrecks The Place


cjones02122021

There’s a lesson to be learned here, kids. Don’t get your lawyers out of vending machines. Also, don’t get them out of Cracker Jack or cereal boxes. Watching Trump’s lawyers in action yesterday, you would think that’s where he got them. But still, out of a Cracker Jack box is still better than out of Trump University.

Donald Trump raised millions for his legal defense. No, he never planned to pay for these lawyers out of his own pocket. During the Mueller investigation, campaign funds paid for his and his trust-fund baby goony kids’ lawyers. Everybody else Trump dragged through the corruption quagmire had to pay for their own lawyers. But if you donated to Trump’s legal defense fund, do you feel you got your moneys worth yesterday? HAHA. Who are we kidding? Those lawyers aren’t going to be paid. Like Rudy, they can charge by the farts and they still won’t get paid.

In fact, lawyers dropped out of the Trump legal defense team over squabbles about getting paid. I didn’t go to college for seven years but I’m educated enough to know that Donald Trump is going to stiff his next lawyer…then his next, then his next, etc. Even the Trump lawyers who defended him in his case against Stormy Daniels got a harder stiffing than she did.

And maybe the lawyers who are defending Trump during his impeachment trial shouldn’t get paid. None of the lawyers from Trump’s first impeachment returned for part two of the Trump leagl shit show. So apparently, Donald Trump went down to a courthouse and found one of those lawyers in a bad suit with ketchup stains bothering people in the lobby, asking, “Do you need a lawyer?” Maybe Trump thought it’d be fine because it worked for Dan Aykroyd in “Dr. Detroit.” And from looking at Bruce Castor’s suit, that’s where he found him…or he was trying to impress the new boss by wearing something from the Trump suit line. Seriously, Trumpers. If you’re not being measured for your suit, you’re going to look like shit. Stop buying off the rack at Walmart. I know this and I’m a T-Shirt and hoodie guy.

But Bruce Castor, in his oversized suit that probably belonged to his father, started his argument praising the impeachment managers, the prosecutors. He admitted that he and his partner, David Schoen, had to change their strategy because the prosecutor’s opening presentation was so good.

The prosecution started by showing a 13-minute video of Trump sending his MAGA mob to the Capitol to stage an insurrection. And the worst thing is, they knew it was coming. This morning, Trump’s legal team objected to the video because it’s detrimental to their case. OK, I got that from the Jim Carrey movie, “Liar Liar,” but that was basically their argument.

Lead House impeachment manager Representative Jamie Raskin argued there is no “January exception.” Raskin pointed out, correctly, “Conduct that would be a high crime or misdemeanor throughout a president’s first few years in office, you can suddenly do in your last few weeks in office without facing any constitutional accountability at all” if Trump’s case is dismissed.

“It’s an invitation to the president to take his best shot at anything he may want to do on his way out the door—including using violent means to lock that door.”

Seriously, it’s just fucking stupid to argue what’s illegal in December is legal in January.

A mob of Donald Trump supporters attacked the U.S. Capitol. Without a doubt, and everyone can agree on this, Donald Trump sent the mob to the Capitol. That mob was not spontaneous. That mob didn’t organize itself. That mob was directed by Donald Trump. He told them to be there on January 6 and that it would be “wild.” Now, Republicans have two arguments.

Argument one: You can’t convict Trump or even hold this trial because it’s unconstitutional. Even Republican lawyers laugh at that one.

Argument two: Donald Trump is not responsible for the violence and insurrection of the MAGA mob despite being the one who sent them and told them they have to “fight or they wouldn’t have a country” because the election was being stolen from them.

If I send a mob to your house and I tell them to just scream on your front yard peacefully, but they bust in and finger-bang your butt, are you gonna get mad at me? Are you going to blame me? Are you going to send me a bill for one of those inflatable donuts? I didn’t do it. I only got them worked up and pointed them in the direction of your butt…I mean house.

For an hour, Trump’s lawyer Castor rambled such a weak defense that even Republican senators reacted to with, “Oh dear God.”

It was terrible. According to sources deep inside Mar-a-Lago (worst porn title EVER), Trump was furious with one person saying, “On a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the angriest, Mr. Trump was an eight.” And anytime Trump’s anger reaches higher on the scale than he can count, it’s bad.

Fortunately for these horrible lawyers, the fix is in. Rigged election? How about a rigged jury? Unfortunately for the jury, it’s harder for them to say they were swayed by a defense that argues the other side presented a better case.

Donald Trump is guilty. The death count from the mob he sent to the United States Capitol to overturn an election and install himself as a dictator now stands at seven. There were multiple injuries. One Capitol Police officer lost three fingers. Another is expected to lose an eye. And let’s not forget Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick who the MAGA mob murdered. And Republicans want to let Trump off the hook before the trial even begins?

If a president can send terrorists to attack the United States Capitol, tweet encouragement to the mob during the act where people are murdered, and not be punished for it, then what is an impeachable offense? Even good lawyers wouldn’t be able to make an argument that Trump is innocent and shouldn’t be convicted and barred from ever occupying the Oval Office ever again.

Brian Sicknick gave his life protecting the men who are going to let his murderer go.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Impeach This Chicken


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Of course Donald Trump is not going to testify at his second impeachment trial in the U.S. Senate. Even if his legal team isn’t capable of spelling “perjury,” they know what it is…I think. If Donald Trump testified, he’d spread one conspiracy theory after another, eventually own up to the entire thing, flash the “OK” sign, and give another shout-out to terrorists.

How about this? We get someone to testify who witnessed what Donald Trump was doing in the three hours between the beginning and the end of the terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.

Either way, the Senate needs to convict Donald Trump. It’s ridiculous and outrageous not to. The man literally, and I’m using “literally” correctly here, attempted to overturn an election through a bloody coup attempt. People died. These senators who are the jury are also witnesses. They’ll be sitting inside the same chamber that the horn-wearing Qanon Shaman was roaring in. Ted Cruz will be sitting at the same desk that terrorists were pillaging through.

Let’s go back and look at some facts. Let’s go back before the election.

Donald Trump tweeted to his followers to liberate Michigan. His followers stormed that state capitol building with guns. Why? Because Donald Trump told them to. Later, a bunch of his followers plotted to kidnap the female governor of Michigan. Who instigated that? Donald Trump.

Over a year before the election, Donald Trump tried to steal it by having Ukraine investigate his main Democratic opponent, Joe Biden. Donald Trump extorted the president of a foreign country by withholding military aid that was approved by Congress and that he needed to defend his nation with against Russia. “No collusion” turned into “so what?”. “Pay for play” turned into “get over it.” For this, Donald Trump was justly impeached. No Republicans in the House voted for it. Only one Republican in the Senate, Mitt Romney, voted to convict.

Senate Republicans decided Donald Trump could indeed shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and get away with it. With his second impeachment, they’re probably going to say a president can be a fucking traitor, attack his own government, send a mob to kill his vice-president, and install himself as a fascist dictator through a bloody coup. Senate Republicans will argue that on Constitutional grounds, you can’t impeach a former president. On Constitutional grounds, you can’t install yourself as a dictator and steal elections.

And to that Constitutional argument: Donald Trump was impeached BEFORE he left office. The Senate has a Constitutional duty to conduct the trial. Also, we have held senate impeachment trials for former officials. And speaking of Constitutional duties, the Senate was in the middle of one when Donald Trump sent an angry mob to attack it.

Trump spent months before the election claiming it would be unfair and stolen. He spent months after the election claiming it was unfair and stolen. He used lies, conspiracy theories, and farty lawyers. He lost over 60 court cases. He invited GOP state legislatures from states he lost to the White House to entice them to hand him their state election for the presidency. He called election officials in Georgia and threatened them to overturn the election. He told the officials in Georgia to find and give him votes that didn’t exist. He should be convicted for this.

On January 6, the day Congress was certifying the vote, Trump held a rally down the street from the U.S. Capitol. He told his crowd to fight or they “wouldn’t have a country.” He used the word “fight” multiple times. Rudy told them it was “trial by combat.” Congressman Mo Brooks said it was time to “take names and kick ass.” Donald Trump Jr. said, “If you’re going to be the zero and not the hero, then we’re coming for you and we’re going to have a good time doing it.”

Trump’s defenders say he told his crowd to go to the Capitol peacefully, but he also said he’d be “right there” with them, and that wasn’t true either.

Donald Trump’s legal team can’t say Donald Trump did not send the crowd to the Capitol to overturn an election. They can’t defend that he tried to stay in power illegally. They can’t defend he staged an insurrection. Trump’s legal team has 16 hours to make their case. This is like a band playing a three hour set that only knows “Freebird.” What do they do for those three hours? For three hours, they play “Freebird.” For 16 hours, we’re going to hear it’s “unconstitutional” and comparisons to Black Lives Matter and Antifa.

I didn’t see any Antifa or Black Lives Matter flags during that riot. Antifa and Black Lives Matter didn’t kill the cop. Antifa and Black Lives Matter didn’t break windows and loot the U.S. Capitol. Antifa and Black Lives Matter didn’t stage an insurrection. Antifa and Black Lives Matter did not go inside the United States Capitol and shit and piss on the floors. That was all MAGA. People shit on the floors in the United States Capitol in the name of Donald Trump. Can you imagine if I was one of the prosecutors?

During the attack, the mob was chanting Trump’s name. They chanted to hang Mike Pence. Several brought nooses. They started chanting to hang Pence right after Trump tweeted an attack on Mike Pence.

For three hours, the terrorists attacked the Capitol. For three hours, Donald Trump did nothing. There are sources who say he was partying to the scene he was watching on TV. He was getting off on the mob. He was getting off that they were attacking the United States of America in his name. He was getting off that they were chanting to save the Constitution while attacking Congress in the middle of performing its Constitutional duty.

After about three hours, Donald Trump was finally convinced it was looking bad and he needed to send out a statement. He sent one out saying he “loved them,” they were “very special,” and to “go home.” Then, the terrorists went home.

It’s been reported that during those three hours, Donald Trump obstructed the National Guard from being sent to defend the Capitol. We need witnesses to say whether that’s true or not.

After the attack and arrests were finally being made, Donald Trump showed his true colors and turned on his supporters. He said they didn’t represent him. They returned the favor and now their defenses center on the argument that Trump told them to do it. There are multiple videos of these terrorists during the attack saying Trump told them to do it.

Several people died during the attack. A terrorist was shot. A Capitol Police officer was murdered by the terrorists. Another person was trampled.

Before the attack, over 150 House Republicans voted against certifying the election. Republicans in the Senate like Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley were giving inspirational speeches to the mob. Josh Hawley saw them outside and gave them a triumphant raising of his fist. During the attack, the new Republican senator from Alabama and noted idiot Tommy Tuberville was taking phone calls from Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani…while he was hiding from the mob. During the terrorist attack he ordered, Trump was calling a senator to discuss strategy on how to capitalize on the attack and steal the election.

Several of these senators voting on Trump’s fate are complicit with Trump. Several of them encouraged the attack. Now, they’ve voting on whether Donald Trump should be convicted when they should also be convicted.

France sent Napoleon to live out the rest of his days on an island. They stuck him in the middle of the ocean so he couldn’t hurt their nation ever again. He was barred from ever serving again. We don’t need to send Donald Trump to an island. We just need to impeach him, ban him from every serving again, and maybe send his orange ass to wear an orange jumpsuit.

If we can’t convict a terrorist president, then the Senate is saying a president can break any law he wants and even commit sedition.

The United States Senate needs to convict this chicken.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Unconstitutional What?


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

For the record, Donald Trump was impeached both times while he was still president. If you have issues with the trial in the Senate being after he left office, which he tried to remain in through a bloody coup attempt, blame Mitch McConnell for delaying the trial until after Trump left town.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Democrat Dreams


cjones02082021

When I heard the Democrats invited Donald Trump to testify at his senate trial for his impeachment, I was giddy with low expectations.

As a cartoonist, I could just imagine how much material Donald Trump would give me bringing his lies and conspiracy theories to a trial in the United States Senate. Can you imagine him sitting in the chamber talking about how the election was stolen from him by illegal voting machines? Can you imagine him talking about voting machines controlled by the Clintons, Hugo Chavez, and globalists (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) swapping votes from him to Biden? Can you imagine him sitting there claiming he won states he lost?

The only thing that could possibly get me more excited would be if his defense lawyers were Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. And if Rudy’s hair started running down his face while he was farting, I would probably lose my mind.

But of course, no half-assed decent lawyer would allow a liar like Donald Trump to walk into a perjury trap like that. How is it a perjury trap? Because if Donald Trump took an oath to tell the truth, it’s a trap under any circumstances. Even a Trump lawyer isn’t that stupid…not even the ones who haven’t quit yet.

Donald Trump actually wants his defense to center around the lie that the election was stolen from him.

But reality has set in for me.

Donald Trump will not testify. Rudy and Sidney will not be his lawyers. And even if he did testify and came off as guilty as hell without any doubts to it, Senate Republicans would still vote to acquit his lying corrupt ass. And all this cartoonist will get will be adults in the White House behaving maturely and seriously while enacting policies that make total sense. Sad face.

But a cartoonist can still dream. I have been known to laugh in my sleep.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Blockhead Legal Services


cjones02032021

I had a reader tweet a message at me yesterday asking when I published a cartoon featuring Donald Trump and Peanuts’ Lucy Van Pelt. I had to dig it up and I discovered it was in March 2018. This morning, I thought today might be a good time to bring Lucy back.

In early 2018, Donald Trump was having trouble finding lawyers to represent him in the Mueller investigation. You knew it was bad when he was tweeting how the best lawyers in the nation were climbing over each other to represent him like he was an ambulance with a broken siren. The truth was, they kept dropping like flies. I’m sorry I can’t find a better metaphor. “Faster than credible lawyers dumping Donald Trump” is a metaphor.

During the Mueller investigation, his lead counsel resigned, he hired a husband and wife duo who were screaming fucknut legal heads at Fox News only for them to resign later. The attorneys he did have sent drunkenly-composed emails to reporters, mailed hush agreements from Trump’s address, tweeted guilt from Trump’s Twitter account, and loudly discussed strategy in one of the busiest and most popular restaurants among journalists in Washington. Keep in mind, this is the same guy who kept Michael Cohen on retainer. Donald Trump picks lawyers like he picks doctors.

Donald Trump set a lot of records as president (sic) with one of them being the rejections from law firms. According to reports, at least six law firms rejected working for Donald Trump in 2018. One legal expert said, “It is difficult for one to maintain one’s appearance of being an ethical lawyer while trying to represent Donald Trump.”

Even O.J. got top-notch legal help but then again, O.J. probably paid his lawyers.

Inside sources say Donald Trump doesn’t want to pay Rudy Giuliani his legal fees for spreading the big stolen election lie. Did he pay Sidney Powell? And look at the quality of legal services he received from that dynamic-farting duo. They lost over 60 cases in court. You would think they would have won at least one of them by accident. But even Lionel Hutz didn’t spread conspiracy theories about the deceased Hugo Chavez stealing the election from Trump with socialist voting machines. Jackie Chiles would take on Cosmo Kramer as a client before he’d take Donald Trump. Saul Goodman never had hair dye dripping down his face during a press conference. Even Barry Zuckerhorn didn’t fart during legislative hearings.

The Senate trial over Donald Trump’s impeachment for inciting a terrorist attack against the U.S. Capitol begins next week, and yesterday he lost five lawyers. One person familiar with what’s going on in Trump Legal Land told The New York Times they’re all splitting because Donald Trump is insisting they argue he won the election and it was stolen from him, thus justifying death to Congress and his own vice president.

The same person also says Trump told the lawyers the case is “simple” and he could argue it himself and save the money on lawyers. As a political cartoonist, all I have to say about that prospect is, “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IF THERE IS A GOD YOU’LL MAKE IT HAPPEN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK PLEASE!!!!!”

I would really like to see that.

I guess there are even a few Republican lawyers who can’t sell the lie Trump won the election. He did lose over 60 cases with that argument. Or, maybe the lawyers just don’t want to lie. I said it repeatedly throughout the Trump presidency (sic): You can not defend Donald Trump without lying. It’s impossible. You don’t need a law degree. You need a degree in bullshit.

Donald Trump is guilty. He incited a riot. He spent nearly $3 million putting that attack together. He told his supporters to march on the Capitol and stage a coup attempt. He told them to overturn an election, disenfranchise millions of voters, and install him as an illegitimate president. He told his followers to make him a fascist dictator. His crowd attacked the Capitol looking to hang Mike Pence and kidnap Nancy Pelosi. Five people died, including a Capitol Police officer. Donald Trump is guilty. He shouldn’t just be convicted in the Senate and barred from future political office. Donald Trump should be in prison.

Do you know who says Donald Trump told the terrorists to attack the Capitol? The terrorists. That’s their defense.

Fortunately for Donald Trump, his jury has Republicans on it. Like Trump, Republicans are corrupt. For Trump, they are so sycophantic, they’ll vote not to convict him for an act where he tried to have them killed. Seriously.

Donald Trump probably doesn’t even need a lawyer because he already has a tainted jury. But let me offer one piece of advice in case she does take him as a client: Lucy, get that nickel in advance.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: