Trump/Cruella 2024

“If Cruella doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will” is sung in the Disney tune Cruella DeVille. And if South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem doesn’t disgust and make you sick, then nothing will. And if you’re a Trumper, and you’ve been supporting the sickness of all that is the cult of Trump, then you’re probably fine with Kristi Noem. In fact, I’m looking forward to hearing MAGAts’ defenses and excuses for this dog killer.

Let’s back up. Being a Republican and a MAGAt, Kristi Noem is a vile person. As a member of the House, she co-sponsored legislation to ban abortion nationwide. She co-sponsored another bill to add to the 14th Amendment that would define human life and personhood begins with fertilization. As governor, she tried to ban protests against the Keystone Pipeline. She endorsed Trump’s racist border wall and sent South Dakota National Guardsmen to the Mexican border. Maybe they all needed dental work. More on that in a minute.

She forced out a 30-year state employee who refused to give her daughter a real estate appraisal license, which cost the state $200,000 in a settlement. She’s corrupt and abuses her office for personal gain, much like Trump did as president (sic).

She accused Native Americans of harboring drug cartels on their reservations. She has been banned from stepping foot on South Dakota reservations.

During the pandemic, she was against face masks, social distancing, and all mandates. She’s mimicked Trump’s endorsement of Hydroxychloroquine as a cure. She downplayed the pandemic and refused federal funding for her state. She’s also homophobic and transphobic.

She’s a big gun nut too, bragging at an NRA event last year that her two-year-old granddaughter had a shotgun, a rifle, and a “little pony named Sparkles.” Why would a two-year-old need a shotgun? Also, I fear for Sparkles’s safety. What if the governor gets jealous of Sparkles’ teeth? More on that in a minute.

Noem is auditioning to be Trump’s running mate. She recently got a makeover to be more appealing to Trump. She used to look like this, then like this, and now looks like this. Do you see what she did here? She got the Melania hairstyle. It’s also the Tiffany and sometimes, the Ivanka. In fact, that seems to be the prevalent hairstyle of most women who skulk around MAGA-Lardo. And you thought it was bad in the 90s when every woman got the Rachel.

Kristi also got her teeth fixed because you can’t be Trump’s running mate with a gnarly smile looking like you can eat off a corncob through a picket fence. Then, she posted an infomercial-type video on X/Twitter promoting the dentists who fixed her mouth. She has yet to explain if she got the work done in exchange for the infomercial or why she had the procedure done in Texas instead of giving the business to a dentist in her state. Maybe all South Dakota dental clinics are on Native American reservations.

Maybe she made the infomercial so Trump could see her new teeth and that he should stop being embarrassed about his dentures that struggle to stay in place. One out of five people are denture wearers or something like that. You’re either wearing dentures or know someone who does. Dental work is expensive and that may be why Noem did the infomercial, despite that maybe it’s illegal.

In case you’re not convinced Noem is a vile person, just read a passage from her upcoming book where she boasts about murdering a dog and a goat.

She wrote that she shot and killed her 14-month-old wirehair pointer, Cricket, because she was “untrainable” and aggressive. And I suppose it felt so good to her that she then murdered a goat on the same day. This is why I’m afraid for Sparkles.

Kristi Noem probably giggled her ass off while watching Old Yeller. She claims she killed the dog because it chased some chickens. So basically, she killed the dog because it was acting like a dog. She said the goat would chase her children, which could probably be solved by building a fence.

People, if you don’t think you can train or handle the responsibility of owning a dog and if it doesn’t work out, that you might shoot it…DON’T GET A DOG!!!

I think Noem overestimated Republicans’ penchant for cruelty as even some of them are disgusted by this. Even Laura Loomer, a lying, gaslighting, racist, islamophobic, propagandist MAGAt posted on social media, “You can’t shoot your dog and then be VP.” Do you know how hard it is to out-vile Laura Loomer?

Trump may not be disgusted by this as he’s not a fan of dogs either, often mocking people who do own dogs. But certainly, there’s someone on his staff who will inform him that having a dog murderer as his running mate is bad optics. The best Kristi Noem can probably hope for now in a future Trump administration (sic) is to be Secretary of the Interior.

In addition to wondering just how sick Kristi Noem is to murder a dog and a goat, I have to wonder what’s wrong with her to think it’s enough of an endearing story to include in her book. Even Republicans like dogs…well, most.

The first two people who came to mind when I saw a headline about dog murderer Kristi Noem were Michael Vick and Cruella DeVille. So, I expect to see other cartoons using those characters.

By the way, if Michael Vick can go to prison for dog murder, then why shouldn’t Kristin Noem? Why is it bad when a black guy murders a dog but not for a white Republican?

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