GOP

Scoochin’ For Mittens


cjones01092018

With the announcement that Utah Senator Orrin Hatch would not seek reelection, speculation immediately landed on former Massachusetts governor and 2012 presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

There was also speculation that Hatch had lost his freaking mind when he made comments that the Donald Trump presidency may be the best we’ve ever seen. Trump was pushing Hatch to run for reelection as he’s been a loyal and obedient lap dog for Trump since he won the presidency.

You may also believe that a Senator Mitt Romney is the last thing Trump wants in Washington. During the 2016 campaign, Romney gave the speech of his life in denouncing Donald Trump.

In that speech, Romney said Trump’s promises were as worthless as a degree from Trump University, that he is a fraud, and, “he’s playing the American public for suckers: he gets a free ride to the White House and all we get is a lousy hat.” Ouch. And then, Trump went on to win the nomination, ultimately the White House and Mitt Romney asked for one of those hats.

Romney is not one to stick to morals and convictions. In his 2012 campaign for president against Obama, Romney abandoned every position he ever held in his life to appeal to the conservatism of primary voters. He ran against Obamacare despite being an advocate and governor at the time Massachusetts installed a public healthcare plan, which was the foundation of Obamacare. He also sought out Trump’s endorsement and staged a press conference with the guy. It was already well documented that Trump is a liar and a racist having spent the previous few years engaged in a birther campaign against Obama. That didn’t bother Romney. He obviously felt Trump’s endorsement was more valuable than a degree from Trump University.

After Trump and Putin won the election, Romney went to Trump Tower and did the walk of shame through the lobby, so he could pander for the Secretary of State job. Trump never considered Romney for the job and only used it to force him to kiss his feet. The photos Trump released of their frog leg dinner showed Romney with a facial expression one might also wear while having a rusty catheter inserted.

Shortly after Hatch announced his retirement, Romney changed his location on Twitter from Massachusetts to Utah. I half expected the guy to post a photo of him eating green jello with slices of carrots. They really like jello in Utah. It’s weird.

I don’t have faith Romney will join the Resistance against Trump. It seems every Republican who has questioned Trump’s capability has caved into him. Lindsey Graham is running deflections for Trump, attacking the FBI and wanting charges against the author of the Russia Dossier (despite there not being a crime). Jeff Flake voted to give Trump huge tax cuts. Bob Corker is riding on Air Force One at this very moment kissing Trump’s ring. I don’t expect Romney to act any different. Principled Republicans are a thing of the past.

Years ago, Romney forced his dog, Seamus to ride on the roof of his car while he drove halfway across the country. I don’t expect Trump to force Romney to climb on top of his roof. Romney will volunteer.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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Angel Of Bannon


cjones10312017

Steve Bannon might just be Mitch McConnell’s worst nightmare. Not so much that he can remove him as Majority Leader of the Senate, but that he may run enough racist, right-wing, lunatic, freakazoids who will make the GOP lose the actual majority.

Let’s take a look at Alabama where Democrats never, ever, ever, ever, ever win…and thanks to Steve Bannon, they’re leading in the polls.

Right-wing extremists are the majority of voters in Republican primaries. In 2010, they gave the Senate nomination to Joe Miller in Alaska, only to lose to the incumbent Republican, who he beat in the primary, by a write-in ballot. People who are normally too lazy to even vote, got off their ass and wrote in “Murkowski” on a ballot. Alaskan voters hated the idea of Miller so much that they got off their asses and learned how to spell “Murkowski.” This is a state that thought making Sarah Palin governor was a great idea.

Roy Moore is the lunatic backed by Bannon in Alabama. He ousted the incumbent in a special primary election and now the race is tight. Alabama may not want to send a bleeding-heart liberal to represent them in the United States Senate, but they may be able to live with a moderate Democrat over a judge who was kicked off the bench twice.

Bannon is now aiming his sights on Mississippi, Nevada, Arizona, and Wisconsin. And, despite the racist wolf-whistle ads by the Republican nominee for Virginia’s governor, he wasn’t Bannon’s pick. That guy was even scarier.

If Bannon’s guys win their primaries, then Democrats may take seats in states where they didn’t stand much of a chance. The Republicans may lose their majority. Of, if they have enough victories, they can make life really hard on McConnell, and even worse…encourage more racist Bannon/Trump goons in the future.

Can you imagine the Senate full of racist idiots who don’t know how anything works? What about governors across the nation?

This is why Democrats and Independents need to vote in off-years and mid-term elections. While it might be fun to see the chaos and draw cartoons about it, it’s worse for our nation. Nobody wants to see America resemble 1930 Germany.

Don’t let these idiots win their elections. It’s bad enough now that we have to get rid of the big orange one sitting in the executive branch.

Creative Notes: I was working on a cartoon about the JFK Files and then I was struck with this idea. I’m planning on taking Saturday night off for a movie and ice cream, so I was going to put this Halloween cartoon off until Sunday night and publish it Monday morning. Then I realized that the cartoon I was working on was dated for the 31st, Halloween. That meant the Halloween cartoon would be dated for November 1st. I felt weird dating a Halloween cartoon for November, even though a lot of cartoonists will continue drawing Halloween cartoons the first week of November. I hate those. Hell, I saw a Thanksgiving-themed cartoon earlier this week. It also occurred to me that if editors like this cartoon, then they probably need to receive it today.

That’s all the geeky business side of cartooning. I do like the other cartoon I was working on so I’ll probably finish it. It’s already lettered.

Last creative note: The kid as the mummy was a late addition to this cartoon. I realized I can’t remember the last time I drew a mummy and then I really wanted to draw a mummy.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Normalize This


cjones10282017

Retiring Senators Jeff Flake of Arizona and Bob Corker of Tennessee have both denounced Donald Trump’s recklessness, divisiveness, undignified and dangerous behavior while continuing to support his agenda.

Both Senators supported Trump for president and today they openly oppose him (while voting to strip banking regulations and repeal Obamacare). Why do they oppose him now? Trump being a stupid ass of a human being who behaves like a toddler isn’t new. He ran his entire campaign that way. His rhetoric on the trail alerted all of us that he would go beyond merely being a disappointment as president, but that he would become an unhinged temperamental madman engaged in public hissy-fits while having the nuclear launch codes.

Both Senators are fed up with the lies. Trump’s lies are also not a new development.

Flake and Corker want every Republican in the United States Senate to do now what Flake and Corker should have done over a year ago. Denounce Trump and not allow him to become the new normal. Couldn’t they have done something beforehand to stop this? Did they not see the tape where he makes fun of a handicapped reporter?

Flake told the press that other Republicans will join him and Corker in resisting Trump. Then, the second-ranking Republican in the Senate, John Cornyn, endorsed Roy Moore, the lunatic gun-packing Republican in Alabama who doesn’t know what DACA is and believes that kneeling while the national anthem is playing isn’t legal. Jim Risch, Republican Senator from Idaho said it’s “not my job” to call out Trump when he lies. Is it his job to protect the United States?

America-First Republicans are actually Trump-First Republicans.

Flake and Corker hate the new normal, so they’re leaving which will make the United States Senate an even more extreme alt-right environment. Steve Bannon is working to replace both men with wingnuts like Roy Moore. It’s his dream to have 51 Ted Cruz’s in the Senate.

The Republican Senate is full of cowards, and Flake and Corker are no exceptions. They’ve only denounced Trump after they decided they won’t seek re-election. What we’re going to be left with is a body full of sycophant lackeys who will disregard the best interest of the nation in favor of a man-baby with a loaded diaper.

And, I’m going to start campaigning that we change how we pronounce “sycophant.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Bannon’s Blue Chips


cjones10122017

Former White House chief strategist, head of Breitbart, and poster boy for nationalism Steve Bannon isn’t just trying to redesign the Republican Party into his racist image, he’s trying to do that to America.

Bannon’s politics are so warped to the right, he was against Trump picking Christian zealot and homophobe Mike Pence as his V.P. pick. Say it with me now. Yikes!

Bannon’s first success in electing a nationalistic bigot was Donald Trump. Unfortunately for Bannon, Trump’s only true ideology and passion are Donald Trump. Plus, he’s an idiot. Bannon will need to stack the United States Senate with racists and Nazi sympathizers if he wants to see the United States truly become an authoritarian state subservient to one master.

Inspired by Roy Moore’s primary win in Alabama, Bannon has promised to make every Republican senator face a far-right candidate in their primaries. Well, every Republican senator except Ted Cruz, because he’s horrible enough. Bannon is also targeting Congress and is supporting a former-congressman and felon who’s running for the last Republican-held seat in New York City.

The only problem Bannon may have with the type of candidates he prefers is that they also tend to be kinda stupid. Roy Moore didn’t even know what DACA is and had to have a radio show host explain it to him. Perhaps, after the candidates assume office they can call Bannon who will tell them how to vote.

Bannon envisions an authoritarian nation that rules instead of governs. He wants a government where the head of state’s authority won’t be questioned, and the legislative branch is a paper tiger that folds at his will. The only reason current Republican officeholders are subservient to Trump is that they are afraid of his base. While Trump’s disapproval ratings among people who are not total maniacs hover around 70%, his approval among those who voted for him is around 90%. These are people satisfied with the job performance of a man who has yet to do his job. And, people who voted for Trump are OK with racism.

Bannon wants to replace Republicans who don’t play nice with Trump and don’t share his vision of a culture war and race-baiting politics. Bannon promised to “cut off the oxygen” to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and stop his fundraising for establishment candidates. He’s also called for Senator Bob Corker to resign because he had the gall to question Trump’s ability to serve as president.

He said Corker’s comments about the White House being run like a daycare center are unacceptable, and he had the “audacity” to make those comments to The New York Times. For Breitbart, a propaganda machine, an actual news source that informs people are the enemy.

Bannon said Republican incumbents have committed “economic hate crimes” against the “forgotten man.” What the hell is an economic hate crime? Also, when he says “forgotten,” he means white.

Bannon is declaring “war” on the GOP establishment and all those that don’t back what Trump ran on. He said there is a “new game in town.”

Bannon’s “war” isn’t just on the GOP. It’s on all of us who don’t want a xenophobic, nationalistic racist nation run by complete dumb-asses.

Democrats can’t be fooled into believing that scary, freaky far-right Bannonites toppling establishment Republicans is good for them. First off, the Democratic Party doesn’t have their act together. While they may find a few opportunities in Arizona and Nevada if those incumbent senators are defeated, there’s not much they can do in places like Alabama.

There are eight Republican-held Senate seats up for re-election in 2018. Expect Bannon to target Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Mississippi, Wyoming, Nebraska, and Tennessee. Bannon may also support candidates in states the Democrats are defending, like Florida, Missouri, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Virginia (I won’t let Virginia happen).

We already have Ted Cruz in the Senate and Roy Moore is likely to join him. Can you imagine how truly horrible it will become if six or seven more like them are elected?

Putin will be so happy.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Nazi The Equivalence


cjones09032017

At the start of World War II, nearly every Scandinavian country declared neutrality. It only worked out for Sweden. Norway and Denmark were invaded by Germany. Even Iceland didn’t escape, and they were invaded by the good guys when England stormed their shores in what should become a comical movie (go read up on it).

Finland may be the most interesting case. At the start of the war they were opposed to Nazi Germany, as Hitler was aligned with the Soviet Union, Finland’s enemy. Finland attempted to build a defense structure with help from England, to no avail. After Hitler betrayed Stalin, Finland found itself on the same side as the Nazis. This was most peculiar because Finland didn’t send their Jewish population to German concentration camps (many fought for Finland), and they were the only Axis nation that was also a democracy.

Technically, democratic Finland was an enemy of the allies, including the United States. Finland actually succeeded in defending their homeland from the Soviet Union, and never initiated the war, or invaded anyone. However, they still had to pay a cost as they lost ten percent of their land, including their second largest city, and pay war reparations, even though they weren’t the belligerents.

Why did they get lumped in with the bad guys and have to lose so much when all they really wanted to do was protect their homeland? Because they sided with Nazis.

If you’re a conservative or have friends who complain about protesters and activists and throw all the attention on Antifa, or Black Lives Matter, then they’re siding with Nazis too.

Why are conservatives and Republicans more focused on people against fascism and who want cops to stop engaging in police brutality? Because Nazis are closer in alignment to Republican beliefs. That’s not a group you want on your side, so conservatives’ best defense (in their little minds) is to deflect, ignore, and engage in false equivalence.

And, it is a false equivalence but, let’s patronize it for a minute and look at our players.

Black Lives Matter is protesting for an end to police brutality, and are asking for more community oversight of police departments, stricter limits on the use of force, independent investigations of police misconduct, community representation in municipal governments, body cameras, better training, an end to “policing for profit,” demilitarization, and union contracts that don’t protect misbehaving police officers from being held accountable. Seriously, they should not even be in this conversation, but asshole conservatives placed them here.

Antifa is more complicated. Antifa is hard to understand as they don’t understand themselves. There is not a national Antifa organization. It can basically include anyone who is against fascism. Some who label themselves as Antifa do engage in violence and vandalism, such as punching alt-right dickheads and trashing their local Starbucks. While Indiana Jones makes punching Nazis look like an erstwhile endeavor, it’s not something I condone. And, I’ve yet to meet a liberal who wouldn’t get upset if his or her local Starbucks was firebombed. There is a huge difference between being a liberal who really dislikes Donald Trump and anarchists who hurt people and break stuff. The objective of ending fascism is a noble one and I believe we can achieve that goal without torching my favorite spot to get a large mocha (or is it “grande’?”).

So, anarchist who engage in violence and vandalism, cut it out. It really hurts your cause more than it helps…as in, it doesn’t help at all. If anything, it helps Nazis because it gives them footage from Breitbart to share on Facebook.

When you look at the objectives of our three groups here, the equivalence is false. I don’t see a fair comparison between people who want to end police violence and fascism, and assholes who strive for racial superiority who march with tiki torches while shouting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil.” At their very worst, Antifa is punching people and breaking windows while Nazis are driving cars into crowds of people and killing them.

We can denounce the violence committed by some members of the Antifa community, if it is an actual community. I’m not on the email list and I don’t get a newsletter. But, if your focus is on Antifa and not on Nazis or the KKK, you’re enabling the racist.

Pointing and screaming about Antifa may deflect attention from where you’re standing for a while, but eventually, people are going to notice when that spot where you’re standing is among Nazis.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

When You’re Ba-a-a-a-ad At Your Job


cjones03282017

Say what you will about Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, but she knows how to do her job. The Democratic Party worked on the bill for the Affordable Care Act for over a year. When it came time to vote it passed without one Republican House member’s support. Pelosi, Speaker of the House at the time, herded enough Democrats to pass the bill without any single Republican vote.

Paul Ryan is not good at his job.

As Speaker of the House Ryan shoved a huge tax cut bill for the rich disguised as a healthcare law through the House in two weeks. Despite having the kind of majority where he could pass the bill without any Democrats, he still failed.

He couldn’t convince moderate Republicans to strip health coverage from over 20 million Americans. He couldn’t make the bill mean enough to convince his most rabid heartless members, the so-called “Freedom Caucus.” Not one Democrat supported the bill so naturally Trump blamed the bill’s failure on Democrats. Then he blamed the Freedom Caucus. Tomorrow he’ll probably blame Obama.

Ryan, previously regarded as a policy wonkish king of guy, didn’t seem to understand the finer aspects of the bill while he campaigned for it. Donald Trump seemed to understand it even less. The biggest reason they could give for supporting it was that it wasn’t Obamacare. Unfortunately for them, RyanCare, or TrumpCare, only had 17% support from the public. While Obamacare has its critics and flaws, it’s polling a hell of a lot higher than 17%.

Paul Ryan pulled the bill to avoid suffering an embarrassing defeat. Their plan now is to dismantle Obamacare piece by piece to prove to the public it’s not a good system, even if it takes them having to throw monkey wrenches into it. The public doesn’t want that. The public wants Obamacare improved, especially in regards with single-payer.

Some people argued that the Republicans wouldn’t allow a bad bill to pass, unlike the Democrats did with Obamacare. No. what the Republicans proved is that they’ve spent the past eight years being the party of “no” without any real plans of their own. They spent seven years telling us how bad Obamacare is. They voted repeatedly to repeal the law. Now that they have the power to repeal it and replace it with what Trump promised, “something better,” they failed to come through.

The party of No doesn’t know how to lead. It’s not debatable that they ever had a workable plan to replace Obamacare. On top of all that, Trump and Ryan has a party that’s not afraid of them.

Paul Ryan is a shepherd whose about to be eaten by his flock. How much do you want to bet Trump feeds him to the flock to save his own skin?

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Loud Boom Boom


cjones01152017

The Republican nimrods in Washington aren’t content with repealing Obamacare, moving the American Embassy in Israel just to piss off Muslims, handing HUD over to a guy they wouldn’t give their car keys to, and stripping ethics out of Congress. Now they want to make it easier to purchase silencers for guns. All future mass shootings will now sound like your neighbor’s Prius.

Not only do Republicans and the friendly monsters at the NRA fight and scramble to make access to firearms as easy as possible for murderers and rednecks with small weenies, now they want to make it easier for them to be sneaky about it.

What’s the deal with gun nuts anyway? They have to have the largest firearms with the most firepower that can shoot the most rounds at the fastest speed possible so they can overcompensate for their dinky manhood, yet they’re too loud for them?

You want to be obnoxious yet be quiet about it? You don’t see bikers going to a Harley Davidson shop and ask if they make quiet models? Bikes, like guns are made so people can be assholes. Don’t be a total wimp about it, Nancy Pants.

I am aware silencers aren’t as quiet as they’re depicted in movies. They don’t actually make a low sharp little “pyew pyew pyew” sound. There’s still a bang but it’s muffled, like a car with a muffler. In fact, the same guy who invented car mufflers invented the silencer. See? I research.

Even though they’re not technically silent, and officially they’re called “suppressors,” and they still “bang,” they’re still a lot quieter than guns without muzzles. Someone could easily fire more rounds in a noisy environment like an airport, night club, Congress, before people are aware there’s another national tragedy occurring. Silencers can also be effective in confusing people as to where the shots are coming from (here’s a clue: Look for the angry white guy).

It’s a dumb idea to make it easier for the public to purchase silencers. It’s bad enough idiots in Texas can’t go to Starbucks without an AK strapped to their back. Gun advocates are claiming it’s a safety issue to protect their hearing. There’s two other ways to protect your hearing from guns. One is to purchase earmuffs. How freaking inconvenient is that? It’s gotta be a lot cheaper than purchasing a silencer. Another way to protect your hearing is to stop shooting guns. Stop going to a gun range. That’s like going to a Nascar event and complaining the cars are loud. Surprise! It’s noisy. Next thing you’re going to do is complain that fish taste fishy.

All the self-styled Rambos and Dirty Harrys out there need to get a grip on something other than a Glock. Their new toys and overcompensation shouldn’t take away the liberty of people to survive.

You wanna silence something? Try Trump’s mouth. That is if they can make a muzzle large enough.

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