GOP

Bannon’s Blue Chips


cjones10122017

Former White House chief strategist, head of Breitbart, and poster boy for nationalism Steve Bannon isn’t just trying to redesign the Republican Party into his racist image, he’s trying to do that to America.

Bannon’s politics are so warped to the right, he was against Trump picking Christian zealot and homophobe Mike Pence as his V.P. pick. Say it with me now. Yikes!

Bannon’s first success in electing a nationalistic bigot was Donald Trump. Unfortunately for Bannon, Trump’s only true ideology and passion are Donald Trump. Plus, he’s an idiot. Bannon will need to stack the United States Senate with racists and Nazi sympathizers if he wants to see the United States truly become an authoritarian state subservient to one master.

Inspired by Roy Moore’s primary win in Alabama, Bannon has promised to make every Republican senator face a far-right candidate in their primaries. Well, every Republican senator except Ted Cruz, because he’s horrible enough. Bannon is also targeting Congress and is supporting a former-congressman and felon who’s running for the last Republican-held seat in New York City.

The only problem Bannon may have with the type of candidates he prefers is that they also tend to be kinda stupid. Roy Moore didn’t even know what DACA is and had to have a radio show host explain it to him. Perhaps, after the candidates assume office they can call Bannon who will tell them how to vote.

Bannon envisions an authoritarian nation that rules instead of governs. He wants a government where the head of state’s authority won’t be questioned, and the legislative branch is a paper tiger that folds at his will. The only reason current Republican officeholders are subservient to Trump is that they are afraid of his base. While Trump’s disapproval ratings among people who are not total maniacs hover around 70%, his approval among those who voted for him is around 90%. These are people satisfied with the job performance of a man who has yet to do his job. And, people who voted for Trump are OK with racism.

Bannon wants to replace Republicans who don’t play nice with Trump and don’t share his vision of a culture war and race-baiting politics. Bannon promised to “cut off the oxygen” to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and stop his fundraising for establishment candidates. He’s also called for Senator Bob Corker to resign because he had the gall to question Trump’s ability to serve as president.

He said Corker’s comments about the White House being run like a daycare center are unacceptable, and he had the “audacity” to make those comments to The New York Times. For Breitbart, a propaganda machine, an actual news source that informs people are the enemy.

Bannon said Republican incumbents have committed “economic hate crimes” against the “forgotten man.” What the hell is an economic hate crime? Also, when he says “forgotten,” he means white.

Bannon is declaring “war” on the GOP establishment and all those that don’t back what Trump ran on. He said there is a “new game in town.”

Bannon’s “war” isn’t just on the GOP. It’s on all of us who don’t want a xenophobic, nationalistic racist nation run by complete dumb-asses.

Democrats can’t be fooled into believing that scary, freaky far-right Bannonites toppling establishment Republicans is good for them. First off, the Democratic Party doesn’t have their act together. While they may find a few opportunities in Arizona and Nevada if those incumbent senators are defeated, there’s not much they can do in places like Alabama.

There are eight Republican-held Senate seats up for re-election in 2018. Expect Bannon to target Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Mississippi, Wyoming, Nebraska, and Tennessee. Bannon may also support candidates in states the Democrats are defending, like Florida, Missouri, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Virginia (I won’t let Virginia happen).

We already have Ted Cruz in the Senate and Roy Moore is likely to join him. Can you imagine how truly horrible it will become if six or seven more like them are elected?

Putin will be so happy.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Nazi The Equivalence


cjones09032017

At the start of World War II, nearly every Scandinavian country declared neutrality. It only worked out for Sweden. Norway and Denmark were invaded by Germany. Even Iceland didn’t escape, and they were invaded by the good guys when England stormed their shores in what should become a comical movie (go read up on it).

Finland may be the most interesting case. At the start of the war they were opposed to Nazi Germany, as Hitler was aligned with the Soviet Union, Finland’s enemy. Finland attempted to build a defense structure with help from England, to no avail. After Hitler betrayed Stalin, Finland found itself on the same side as the Nazis. This was most peculiar because Finland didn’t send their Jewish population to German concentration camps (many fought for Finland), and they were the only Axis nation that was also a democracy.

Technically, democratic Finland was an enemy of the allies, including the United States. Finland actually succeeded in defending their homeland from the Soviet Union, and never initiated the war, or invaded anyone. However, they still had to pay a cost as they lost ten percent of their land, including their second largest city, and pay war reparations, even though they weren’t the belligerents.

Why did they get lumped in with the bad guys and have to lose so much when all they really wanted to do was protect their homeland? Because they sided with Nazis.

If you’re a conservative or have friends who complain about protesters and activists and throw all the attention on Antifa, or Black Lives Matter, then they’re siding with Nazis too.

Why are conservatives and Republicans more focused on people against fascism and who want cops to stop engaging in police brutality? Because Nazis are closer in alignment to Republican beliefs. That’s not a group you want on your side, so conservatives’ best defense (in their little minds) is to deflect, ignore, and engage in false equivalence.

And, it is a false equivalence but, let’s patronize it for a minute and look at our players.

Black Lives Matter is protesting for an end to police brutality, and are asking for more community oversight of police departments, stricter limits on the use of force, independent investigations of police misconduct, community representation in municipal governments, body cameras, better training, an end to “policing for profit,” demilitarization, and union contracts that don’t protect misbehaving police officers from being held accountable. Seriously, they should not even be in this conversation, but asshole conservatives placed them here.

Antifa is more complicated. Antifa is hard to understand as they don’t understand themselves. There is not a national Antifa organization. It can basically include anyone who is against fascism. Some who label themselves as Antifa do engage in violence and vandalism, such as punching alt-right dickheads and trashing their local Starbucks. While Indiana Jones makes punching Nazis look like an erstwhile endeavor, it’s not something I condone. And, I’ve yet to meet a liberal who wouldn’t get upset if his or her local Starbucks was firebombed. There is a huge difference between being a liberal who really dislikes Donald Trump and anarchists who hurt people and break stuff. The objective of ending fascism is a noble one and I believe we can achieve that goal without torching my favorite spot to get a large mocha (or is it “grande’?”).

So, anarchist who engage in violence and vandalism, cut it out. It really hurts your cause more than it helps…as in, it doesn’t help at all. If anything, it helps Nazis because it gives them footage from Breitbart to share on Facebook.

When you look at the objectives of our three groups here, the equivalence is false. I don’t see a fair comparison between people who want to end police violence and fascism, and assholes who strive for racial superiority who march with tiki torches while shouting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil.” At their very worst, Antifa is punching people and breaking windows while Nazis are driving cars into crowds of people and killing them.

We can denounce the violence committed by some members of the Antifa community, if it is an actual community. I’m not on the email list and I don’t get a newsletter. But, if your focus is on Antifa and not on Nazis or the KKK, you’re enabling the racist.

Pointing and screaming about Antifa may deflect attention from where you’re standing for a while, but eventually, people are going to notice when that spot where you’re standing is among Nazis.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

When You’re Ba-a-a-a-ad At Your Job


cjones03282017

Say what you will about Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, but she knows how to do her job. The Democratic Party worked on the bill for the Affordable Care Act for over a year. When it came time to vote it passed without one Republican House member’s support. Pelosi, Speaker of the House at the time, herded enough Democrats to pass the bill without any single Republican vote.

Paul Ryan is not good at his job.

As Speaker of the House Ryan shoved a huge tax cut bill for the rich disguised as a healthcare law through the House in two weeks. Despite having the kind of majority where he could pass the bill without any Democrats, he still failed.

He couldn’t convince moderate Republicans to strip health coverage from over 20 million Americans. He couldn’t make the bill mean enough to convince his most rabid heartless members, the so-called “Freedom Caucus.” Not one Democrat supported the bill so naturally Trump blamed the bill’s failure on Democrats. Then he blamed the Freedom Caucus. Tomorrow he’ll probably blame Obama.

Ryan, previously regarded as a policy wonkish king of guy, didn’t seem to understand the finer aspects of the bill while he campaigned for it. Donald Trump seemed to understand it even less. The biggest reason they could give for supporting it was that it wasn’t Obamacare. Unfortunately for them, RyanCare, or TrumpCare, only had 17% support from the public. While Obamacare has its critics and flaws, it’s polling a hell of a lot higher than 17%.

Paul Ryan pulled the bill to avoid suffering an embarrassing defeat. Their plan now is to dismantle Obamacare piece by piece to prove to the public it’s not a good system, even if it takes them having to throw monkey wrenches into it. The public doesn’t want that. The public wants Obamacare improved, especially in regards with single-payer.

Some people argued that the Republicans wouldn’t allow a bad bill to pass, unlike the Democrats did with Obamacare. No. what the Republicans proved is that they’ve spent the past eight years being the party of “no” without any real plans of their own. They spent seven years telling us how bad Obamacare is. They voted repeatedly to repeal the law. Now that they have the power to repeal it and replace it with what Trump promised, “something better,” they failed to come through.

The party of No doesn’t know how to lead. It’s not debatable that they ever had a workable plan to replace Obamacare. On top of all that, Trump and Ryan has a party that’s not afraid of them.

Paul Ryan is a shepherd whose about to be eaten by his flock. How much do you want to bet Trump feeds him to the flock to save his own skin?

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Loud Boom Boom


cjones01152017

The Republican nimrods in Washington aren’t content with repealing Obamacare, moving the American Embassy in Israel just to piss off Muslims, handing HUD over to a guy they wouldn’t give their car keys to, and stripping ethics out of Congress. Now they want to make it easier to purchase silencers for guns. All future mass shootings will now sound like your neighbor’s Prius.

Not only do Republicans and the friendly monsters at the NRA fight and scramble to make access to firearms as easy as possible for murderers and rednecks with small weenies, now they want to make it easier for them to be sneaky about it.

What’s the deal with gun nuts anyway? They have to have the largest firearms with the most firepower that can shoot the most rounds at the fastest speed possible so they can overcompensate for their dinky manhood, yet they’re too loud for them?

You want to be obnoxious yet be quiet about it? You don’t see bikers going to a Harley Davidson shop and ask if they make quiet models? Bikes, like guns are made so people can be assholes. Don’t be a total wimp about it, Nancy Pants.

I am aware silencers aren’t as quiet as they’re depicted in movies. They don’t actually make a low sharp little “pyew pyew pyew” sound. There’s still a bang but it’s muffled, like a car with a muffler. In fact, the same guy who invented car mufflers invented the silencer. See? I research.

Even though they’re not technically silent, and officially they’re called “suppressors,” and they still “bang,” they’re still a lot quieter than guns without muzzles. Someone could easily fire more rounds in a noisy environment like an airport, night club, Congress, before people are aware there’s another national tragedy occurring. Silencers can also be effective in confusing people as to where the shots are coming from (here’s a clue: Look for the angry white guy).

It’s a dumb idea to make it easier for the public to purchase silencers. It’s bad enough idiots in Texas can’t go to Starbucks without an AK strapped to their back. Gun advocates are claiming it’s a safety issue to protect their hearing. There’s two other ways to protect your hearing from guns. One is to purchase earmuffs. How freaking inconvenient is that? It’s gotta be a lot cheaper than purchasing a silencer. Another way to protect your hearing is to stop shooting guns. Stop going to a gun range. That’s like going to a Nascar event and complaining the cars are loud. Surprise! It’s noisy. Next thing you’re going to do is complain that fish taste fishy.

All the self-styled Rambos and Dirty Harrys out there need to get a grip on something other than a Glock. Their new toys and overcompensation shouldn’t take away the liberty of people to survive.

You wanna silence something? Try Trump’s mouth. That is if they can make a muzzle large enough.

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Sucky Healthcare


cjones01062017

During the presidential campaign Donald Trump promised to repeal Obamacare and replace it with “something better.” He never told us what “something better” includes but we’re going to love it.

After The Affordable Healthcare Act was passed in 2012 Republicans attempted to repeal it over 60 times. Not once in that time span have they had a plan to replace it with. Today they tell us they’re going to “repeal and replace.” The details they’re short on is what they’re going to replace it with.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is a man who knows policy. He’s intelligent, informed, and is very detailed on specifics. He’s the Republican’s top guy and even he can’t give us details on this replacement. The leeches might be an appropriate analogy as we’re now looking for a healthcare plan from a man who looks like Eddie Munster.

A majority of voters want Obamacare repaired. A lot of premiums have shot up and consumers are feeling the pain. Republican voters want it repealed entirely without considering they may be uninsured afterward. Many are covered by Obamacare and they’re not even aware of it. On top of all this anyone who believes their rates will go down after Obamacare is repealed are idiots. They probably believe Putin is a good guy and we should trust Julian Assange over the CIA. Of course we’re talking about Trump voters so we’re not talking about people who play with full decks.

Voters gave Republicans full control of the government and they’re about to get what has been promised. The GOP plans to trash Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and access to healthcare for everyone. But hey, America will be great again.

What should be clear to everyone is that Republicans suck.

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Alarmed Over Ethics


cjones01042017

After Paul Ryan was reelected as Speaker of the House yesterday he addressed his colleagues and said “we are not here to be. We are here to do.” It’s what the Republicans are doing in Congress that should concern us all.

What was the very first priority for House Republicans on the first day of the 115th Congress? Kill Obamacare? Strike down the Iran nuclear agreement? Tax cuts for corporations? Blast environmental regulations? Give themselves pay raises and go on a recess? Give Democrats wedgies? None of that.

The first thing they did was prove they have no intentions of actually draining the swamp and they held a secret vote at night to gut the semi-independent office that investigates House ethics.

Why would Republicans do something like this? That’s a rhetorical question. Now that they have the majority in the House, Senate, and a president-elect who believes conflicts of interests and ethics don’t apply to him, they figured it shouldn’t apply to them either. After all, their new leader celebrated New Year’s Eve at his golf club with business partners and guests who paid $575 a piece to party with The Donald (club members had a $50 discount).

Paul Ryan and Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy disagreed with the vote. Trump joined them and criticized it on his favorite platform, Twitter. They weren’t so much against getting rid of the ethics office as they were with the timing of the move. They’ll be fine with it if, and when, it comes later during this session. It will come later.

House members were bombarded with calls from an angry public. This maneuver, orchestrated by Virginian Republican Bob Goodlatte, would have prevented the office from investigating potentially criminal allegations, allowed lawmakers on the House Ethics Committee to shut down any O.C.E. investigation and, for good measure, gagged the office’s staff members in their dealings with the news media.

While Trump was tweeting faster than a speeding bullet criticizing the timing of the vote, his number one gaslighter Kellyanne Conway was on television saying House Republicans have a “mandate” to curb “overzealousness” over ethics. I don’t remember that issue being pressed on the campaign trail at all. Do you? Again, that was another rhetorical question. I think going out with Kellyanne Conway would resemble a mandate (Sorry. That was sexist. I couldn’t resist).

The Office of Congressional Ethics was created in 2008, by Democrats, after  a series of bribery and corruption scandals slammed both parties and sent three House members to jail. Four of the Republicans who joined the Goodlatte gang have previously been investigated by the office.

After the quick outrage the GOP did a huge pivot and dropped it and the issue has gone back to the House to be “studied.” What they’re really doing is studying the best time to whip it out again. Probably sneak it into a bill honoring veterans or a Kentucky race horse. Who knows.

This also shows that as soon as Trump breaks the law and violates his presidential oath, probably on January 21, that this House will have little concern of holding him accountable.

Kellyanne Conway will tell you that’s a mandate.

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Carolina Crybabies


cjones12202016

“Political opposition is a normal part of democracy. Stripping your opponent of power is a normal part of fascism.” -Jennifer Victor. Associate professor at George Mason University.

Fascism seems to be all the rage with Republicans lately. While Donald Trump wants to limit press freedoms, defile the Constitution, and bully anyone who dares criticize him, the Grumpy McGrumpersons and sore losers who comprise the Republican party in North Carolina are literally stripping powers from their next governor. This isn’t just a state fight, this is national. The Resistance is especially important as the GOP is showing other states, and the future Trump administration, how to dismantle democracy and strip the rights away from any opposition.

Why would the North Carolina legislature want to strip power from their next governor? Oh yeah. It’s because, Roy Cooper the incoming governor and Mr. Rogers lookalike, is a Democrat and the Republicans want to make every a bad day in the neighborhood. They’re upset he won and he’s not even a black guy. It’s kinda like when the U.S. Senate says they’re not going to hold hearings or vote on Obama’s Supreme Court nominee because it’s not fair he’s still president while that opening occurred, and dammit, they just don’t want to. It’s called being a sore loser.

While the U.S. Senate ignores the law, the N.C. Legislature is rewriting them. They’re very upset that despite Trump winning their state, their Republican governor, Pat McCrory, lost his re-election bid to Mr. Rogers, er, Cooper. In fact, they didn’t even want to acknowledge they lost the governor’s mansion and spent weeks trying to fight the election results. The GOP is seriously bummed about losing their homophobic governor who was a champion of protecting bathrooms from nobody. Rewriting the laws of the executive branch after the election because you don’t like the winner is just one step short of a coup.

The state legislature is really powerful in North Carolina. They have the numbers required to be veto-proof despite the state not being solid red. North Carolina might be the best example of a divided nation as her rural areas are in a tug of war with the cities (where the educated people live) over political influence. Obama won the state in 2008. Romney won in 2012 and Trump won in 2016. Each of those were squeakers.

Did I mention the legislature is powerful? The Legislature called a special session, as if a Democrat being elected is an emergency. In most states the governor is the one who calls special sessions (they cost money).

So what are they taking away from their next governor? They are limiting the number of employees the governor can hire (down from 1,500 to 425), how many people he can appoint to the State Board of Elections, and strips the governor of his ability to name members of the boards of state universities. They also changed the state court system, making it more difficult for the losers of some superior court cases to appeal directly to the Democratic-controlled Supreme Court. Perhaps the biggest change is that the governor’s cabinet appointees now have to be approved by the State Senate. Being governor in North Carolina is like being married. You can do whatever you want, as long as your wife says it’s OK.

The Republicans are stacking the decks with their troglodytes so they won’t lose influence as the state continues to turn blue. They’re taking gerrymandering to an all new level. They are true pioneers and innovators when it comes to partisanship, hate, and bigotry. It’s kinda like they’re legalizing corruption.

Of course the out-going governor, McCrory, has signed most of the new laws (so far). That’s kinda like spray painting on all the walls and taking dumps in the closets before you move out of a rental property. Let the next tenant find those surprises. Mr. Cooper might wanna check those after he moves in.

There have been protests at the state capitol and many people have been arrested despite there not being any violence. Most of them were arrested for knocking on the door of the viewing gallery in the Capitol building.

North Carolina Republicans are shoving these changes down their constituents’ throats and they don’t even want them to have the right to complain about it.

It’s the normal part of fascism.

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