GOP

Matt Gaetz Shows His Respect


cjones03132020

If “if you like your doctor then you can keep your doctor” is a lie, then so is, “anybody who needs a test gets a test.” And it’s actually a more dangerous lie.

Donald Trump doesn’t know how to respond to what is now being described as an international pandemic, so he lies and gives misinformation about it. He says he’s the best to deal with it because his uncle was a “super genius” at MIT. Donald Trump couldn’t spell “MIT” if you spotted him the “M” and the “I.” He was at the CDC, Center for Disease Control, where the scientists asked him how he knew so much about the coronavirus which he either made up or they did so mockingly. It’d be like asking someone who kicks tires how they know so much about automobiles. Donald Trump couldn’t spell “CDC” if you spotted him the “C” and the “D.”

On top of all this, members of Trump’s administration and government workers who aren’t political, are being told not to cross the president (sic). People are being told not to do their jobs if it compromises Donald Trump’s ego.

And then, Donald Trump went to Mar-a-Lago to play golf.

So, is it any surprise the markets are collapsing?

Italy’s government is advising its citizens to keep a distance of three feet from each other. That’s good advice here in the United States. When you encounter a Republican, keep at least three feet away (though I’d advise much farther, like another state).

The Conservative Political Action Convention (CPAC) was last week which featured such high profile individuals as the anti-Greta and Ted Cruz. You can’t have an asshole convention without Ted Cruz.

Now, Cruz and Republican congressman Paul Glosar are self-quarantining after encountering an individual at CPAC who has tested positive for the coronavirus. I guess karma does exist. Who knew there’d be new reasons to avoid Ted Cruz? If this was a zombie outbreak, all of our political leaders would have been bitten by now.

Now I have to ask, was Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz also at the convention?

Gaetz had to have been there because he’s an asshole. What kind of asshole is he? During the vote to put over $8 billion into fighting the coronavirus, Gaetz wore a gas mask to mock the crisis. He eventually voted for the bill but expressed reluctance. Later, after catching grief for his frat boy antics on the floor of the House of Representatives, he tried to pretend he was serious and looking out for his safety. Now, a person from Gaetz’s Florida district has died from the coronavirus. Maybe Gaetz should attend the funeral wearing his little gas mask. He can talk to the victim’s family, while wearing the gas mask, and explain how serious he is.

I have a great idea. Let’s take all of these Republicans who attended the CPAC thingy and quarantine them…in the Trump Washington hotel.

In fact, let’s stick them in there and shut the hotel down until this pandemic passes. I’m sure Trump would take the monetary sacrifice for his nation and fellow Republicans. Right? Hello?

Now, remember, keep at least three feet away from all Republicans. For the love of God, do not shake their hands. Republican cooties are nasty. Additionally, it would be best if you don’t smell any of their bullshit either.

Republicans are contagious.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Damn Skippy The Fix Is In


CNN01192020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

This is very similar to the oath cartoon I did last week but in this version, I give them a different oath. It’s an oath where they promise to be corrupt. The trial has started today and Mitch McConnell has already broken his oath.

McConnell wants to ram the entire thing through so that the bulk of it happens late at night, perhaps until 1:00 a.m. He’s hoping Americans stop paying attention. If voters pay attention, it’s not good for Republicans.

It’s not good because the majority doesn’t just want to hear witnesses. A majority wants Trump removed from office. It’s not good for Republicans for Americans to pay attention because they may hear the evidence, and Donald Trump is guilty. Donald Trump should be removed from office. The facts don’t help Donald Trump or Republicans.

Republicans have the majority in the Senate and they still need to fix the trial. They violated their oath before they ever took it.

Yesterday’s cartoon was on Trump goons. In a way, this one is too as each of the 53 Republicans in the United States Senate has chosen to participate in Trump’s coverup. Each of those senators has chosen to be a Trump goon.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Weather The Stupid


cjones12042019

It’s not just the majority of scientists who believe in climate change. It’s a massive majority. According to NASA, “97 percent or more of actively publishing climate scientists agree climate-warming trends over the past century are extremely likely due to human activities.” Additionally, most of the leading scientific organizations worldwide have issued public statements endorsing this position. It’s what you would call a mandate. In case you’re a Republican, 97 percent is a LOT. It’s only three percent away from 100 (start at 100 and count backwards).

The only way to disagree with 97 percent of the world’s scientists is if you want to disagree and you’re not going to apply logic to the science. You have to politicize the science to claim 97 percent of the world’s scientists are politically biased. I would wager that while 97 percent of the world’s scientists believe in climate change, that nearly every one of them hates the film, “The Day After Tomorrow.” Now that was a real dog.

Even if you’re going to argue against science, you could at least understand the difference between climate and weather. If someone tells you climate change is a hoax because it’s snowing, their statement proves their opinion isn’t based in fact. Snow in Boston today is short term. Short term is weather. How the atmosphere behaves over a longer period of time is climate. While it’s snowing in Boston, it’s sunny in Los Angeles. To further complicate the matter, your argument against climate science is that it’s cold during the winter.

I know. Explaining this to a Republican, or even worse, a full-fledged Trump supporter, is like explaining photosynthesis to a Beagle. He’ll just cock his head, go “aroo?” while he’s thinking about cheese. Although, the Beagle has a better shot at getting it than a Republican. Plus, Beagles at least have personality and are much more likeable. Nobody wants a Republican to lick their face.

Every year, my conservative colleagues draw their annual anti-climate change cartoons. They usually wait until the first major snowstorm hits somewhere in the country and then it’s all, “A-ha!” It’s been explained to them over and over again. Just like their cartoons, we have to make our explanations on an annual basis.

Facts are not biased, but liberals are biased toward facts. Another fact: Dogs are smarter than Republicans.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Floater


cjones12012019

Just a little Thanksgiving day bonus for you I jammed out while in Washington. Have a great Thanksgiving and enjoy the parade.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Republican Chex Mix


cjones08122019

One of my Trump cultist troglodyte Facebook friends (this one’s not related to me) who is really big about defending racists, deflection, and false equivalency posted yesterday about Democrats politicizing mass shootings.

How dare politicians try to create legislation that’ll stop murders. What do they think we sent them to Washington for anyway? To be constructive? To find solutions? Don’t they know there are junkets and lunches with lobbyists to be had?

Sorry, Republicans and MAGAts. Some people would like to do more than give thoughts and prayers to solve a crisis. But, when can we talk about gun legislation? If we’re to wait for a break between mass shootings, we’ll be waiting for a very long time.

Talking about gun legislation isn’t politicizing a tragedy. Tying a pet issue that’s totally unrelated to gun legislation is politicizing a tragedy. Donald Trump suggested “marrying” immigration reform to background-check legislation. Can someone please tell me how the two are related?

Trump actually included hate and white supremacy in his blame for the mass shootings, but he stopped short of identifying his own hate or support of white supremacy.  Trump said in a statement someone else obviously wrote, “Hatred warps the mind, ravages the heart and devours the soul.” For living proof of that, one only needs to look at Donald Trump, the self-described nationalist.

Trump and other Republicans also cited so-called “red flag laws” to focus better on identifying mentally ill people who shouldn’t be allowed to purchase guns. No word yet on “red flag laws” preventing stupid people from running for president or voting. We should do more to address mental illness in this country, but when do Republicans ever want to do anything about mental illness? Trump, Republicans, and the NRA would rather talk about the mentally handicapped than focus on the killing machines that are sold legally. Trump said, “Mental illness and hatred pull the trigger. Not the gun.” Well, maybe you can stop selling them shit that has triggers. Since they are Republicans, once again they’re focusing on something that’s not the problem. Most people who commit these horrible acts aren’t suffering from mental illness.

Trump also went after video games, ignoring that there isn’t any research supporting the claim that video games encourage players to kill people. Trump said he wants cultural changes, including stopping the “glorification of violence in our society” in video games and elsewhere. This is the same guy who made a joke about shooting immigrants at one of his rallies, once told his supporters to “knock the crap out of him” regarding a protester and promised to pay their legal bills, and said about another protester, “I’d like to punch him in the face.”

Trump also blamed the media for the mass shootings, He tweeted, “The media has a big responsibility to life and safety in our country. Fake News has contributed greatly to the anger and rage that has built up over many years. News coverage has got to start being fair, balanced and unbiased, or these terrible problems will only get worse.” The only shocking thing here is that he didn’t also blame Hillary Clinton or “fake” witch hunt investigations.

So let me get this straight: It’s politicizing to say Trump encourages a mass shooting because the killer attacks the same people Trump has attacked and used the same language in his manifesto Trump has used toward them, but it’s perfectly fine to go after the press? If it’s lying that encourages these killings, then again, the blame should fall on Donald Trump.

New Jersey Senator and presidential candidate Cory Booker called Trump’s remarks a “bullshit soup of ineffective words,” because “word salad” has been used so much in regards to Trump statements that it’s starting to lose its meaning. Booker is right. Trump tied everything in the world not connected to the shootings to blame for the shootings and refused to discuss the connections between his rhetoric and those of the killers in El Paso and Gilroy.

Trump has no plans to offer anything effective. After the Parkland shootings, Trump supported background checks for about two minutes until the NRA talked him out of it and instead came up with much more brilliant ideas, like arming teachers with bazookas.

After calling for background-check legislation, Trump failed to mention the subject during his televised remarks. That means someone from the NRA called him.

Trump is stupid but even he knows we need stronger background checks. The really stupid part here is that he keeps forgetting he’s supposed to be against it and the NRA bastards have to keep reminding him that Republicans don’t care about murdered babies unless they’re in a womb.

What Republicans are proving is that it’ll be easier to combat gun violence if they weren’t around. Trump said, “In one voice, our nation must condemn racism, bigotry and white supremacy.”

If the nation really wants to condemn in one voice, racism, bigotry, and white supremacy, then in November 2020 it’ll vote Trump and Republicans out of office.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Leaving The Hurd


cjones08082019

The Republican Party has been exercising racism for decades, but until now, there were always people like Will Hurd among its members, other than the black thing of course. For example, before Donald Trump came along, you could easily get a hell of a lot more than four votes from Republicans in the House of Representatives to condemn a racist comment.

The Grand Old Party has now become the party of Trump, resembling a cult more than a political party. The GOP is less a party of issues and more about the cult of a personality, a rotten, horrible, vile, stupid, racist personality. It only makes sense that the party is dead on details since they worship a man who won the presidency without any specifics to his proposals. He promised to build a wall that Mexico would pay for, without telling us how he would make Mexico pay for it. He promised to replace Obamacare with “something better.” On foreign policy, his position was that he knew more than the generals. Now, the party’s policies are Trump, Trump, and Trump. Any member who defies that will suffer the same fate as Mark Sanford.

The fear of being the next Mark Sanford, a congressman who criticized Trump and then was primaried for his crime, has cost the Republican Party the House of Representatives. Now, they have to explain Trumpism. Ask a Republican how tariffs are not taxes. Ask a Republican how Canadian cheese is a national security threat. Ask a Republican about why increasing the national debt is now a good thing. Ask a Republican how a treaty preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons is bad but a treaty with North Korea that doesn’t say anything is good. Ask a Republican why we shouldn’t be concerned about Kim Jong Un testing ballistic missiles. Now, ask a Republican how racist comments are not racist comments.

Except for Will Hurd. Hurd will tell you a racist comment is a racist comment. He was one of only four representatives in the House that recognized Trump’s “Go back to where you came from” tweet was racist. Now, Hurd, who is the only Republican representing a district on the border with Mexico, will not run for re-election next year. Hurd is the only African-American member of the House. Unless another black Republican is elected in 2018, Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina will be the only one left in Congress.

Hurd was considered the future of the party, which has been a lie all along. He was the Republicans’ pipe dream of their future. The future of their party is not diverse when your leader attacks four female members of Congress for being minorities, talks about brown people from “shithole countries,” calls inner cities “rat-infested,” and attacks black representatives and civil rights leaders. The future of your party is not diverse when hate crimes increase upon the election of your racist leader. The future of your party is not diverse when your leader was endorsed by the official newspaper of the Ku Klux Klan and by the founder of the Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website. The future of your party is not diverse when the KKK holds parades in honor of your party’s leader. The future of your party is not diverse when your leader retweets neo-Nazis. The future of your party is not diverse when your leader defends Nazis. The future of your party is not diverse when you refuse to confront your leader on any of this.

Five other Republicans have announced they will not seek re-election to the House. Currently, there are only 13 female Republicans in the House and two of them are also retiring. The GOP hopes to retake the House in 2020, but it’s an effort made even more difficult by incumbent retirements, especially from districts like Hurd’s, which went for Hillary Clinton in 2016. Hurd won re-election in 2018 by a little over 1,100 votes.

In a speech last June, Hurd said, “The party is not growing in some of the largest parts of the country. Why is that? I’ll tell you.” Then he told us.

“Don’t be a racist. Don’t be a misogynist. Don’t be a homophobe. These are basic things that we should all learn in kindergarten.”

The kindergarten president, who is now well into his 70s, still has not learned it. The Republican Party probably learned it, but they’ve chosen to abandon it. Now, when you talk to Republicans, they don’t see how telling brown people to “go back to where you came from” is racist. Their future isn’t Will Hurd. It’s defending the use of the N-word.

That’s why the future of their party does not look like Will Hurd. It looks like Donald Trump. It looks like a a bunch of white guys wearing sheets carrying tiki torches.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

 

Slingers


cjones08012019

The Senate Intelligence Committee issued a new report yesterday that Russia probably targeted the election systems in all 50 states in 2016, the federal government didn’t adequately warn the states, and the threat persists heading into the 2020 presidential, Senate, and Congressional campaigns.

The report states they started the meddling as early as 2014 and continued into 2017. U.S. officials believe the Russians probably scanned systems in every state, such as election-related web pages, voter ID information, election system software, and election service companies. Two years ago, the Department of Homeland Security disclosed that the Russian government, including their military, had hackers target 21 states during the 2016 campaign.

During Robert Mueller’s congressional testimony this week, he described how Russia’s meddling was not a “hoax,” that the Trump campaign welcomed their interference, and that Russia was “doing it as we sit here.” Republicans on the Congressional Judiciary and Intelligence committees scoffed and downplayed Russias interference and favoritism toward Donald Trump. Republicans and Trump are more concerned about “liberal” paper straws than Russians attacking us.

The Russians are doing it now “as we sit here” and they’re doing it to help reelect Donald Trump. Trump has spent his entire presidency kowtowing to Russia and Vladimir Putin. He invited Russians into the Oval Office where he gave them classified information that was obtained by a U.S. ally. He has refused to call out or blame Putin for the interference, which is an attack on our country which he took an oath to protect. He stood next to Putin in Helsinki and took his word over that of our National Intelligence. However, he did declare that our national security has been threatened by Canadian cheese.

On the same day the report was issued, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell blocked two election security measures that would help keep our elections free and fair. McConnell argued that the bills would give Democrats a “political benefit.” He’s right in that free and fair elections, without Russian meddling, will help the Democratic Party because more Americans vote Democratic than Republican.

A House bill passed that requires the use of paper ballots and included funding for the Election Assistance Commission. It passed in the House with only one Republican vote. McConnell argued that it was partisan. Since when did protecting the United States of America, protecting our elections, and loyalty to our nation over Russia become partisan?

McConnell and Republicans have put more than party over country. They’ve put worship of a cult leader over their country, over our country.

Another bill blocked by McConnell would have made it a requirement for candidates, campaign officials, and their family members to notify the FBI of assistance offered by a foreign government. This sounds like a no-brainer but it would obviously handicap the Trump campaign as Trump has stated recently that he’d welcome foreign assistance in the next election. He didn’t even send it in code. He flat out said it.

We need leaders in the House, Senate, and White House who will protect the nation they swore to defend. We need leaders who don’t go swinging with Putin.

Creative note: I hate to explain this but if you don’t know what Sling TV is, then maybe this cartoon doesn’t work for you. It’s basically another internet service that offers premium cable channels and it can be used on smart TVs. There are commercials where people invited by a creepy couple for “slinging” confuse the term with “swinging.” Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally, married in real life, play the creepy couple shouting at neighbors, “You wanna sling tonight?” “Hey, Bruce, bring your mom.” I think they’re hilarious.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.