GOP

Putin On The Fit

I dedicate this cartoon to all my conservative political cartooning colleagues who are upset over President Biden’s surprise visit to Ukraine last week. And before you start to think that I enjoy beating up on MAGAt cartoonists, let me assure you, I do.

I’m not going to link to any of their cartoons today because I don’t feel like doing the work of looking them up and I have an eye appointment. But, I saw cartoons from Steve Kelley and Dana Summers where both whined about Biden giving money to Ukraine during his visit and not giving any to East Palestine. Republicans hate social welfare and many in Congress will vote against disaster relief when the disaster isn’t in their state. But here, they’re advocating for corporate welfare because the mess in East Palestine is an expense that should be covered by the corporation that caused it.

I saw a cartoon by Gary McCoy where he claimed there were “fake air raid sirens” during Biden’s visit to Kyiv. What the hell is a “fake air raid siren?” Wouldn’t that be someone doing the sound with their mouth? What’s that noise, is it an air raid siren? No, that’s just Gary being a whiny little hypocritical Putin-loving beyotch again. In the same cartoon, Gary blamed President Biden for Putin’s threats to use nuclear weapons. It’s like blaming somebody for waking up the baby. Of course, you don’t blame the baby, but Putin is not a baby.

At least Ted Rall is paid by Russia to carry Putin’s water (and he attacked Biden’s trip too). Is Putin paying the other goons too?

These goons don’t want to blame the company that created the toxic disaster in East Palestine and they don’t want to blame the fascist dictator who is threatening armageddon. The GOP is NOT the party of responsibility.

Even if the air raid sirens going off in Kyiv during Biden’s visit were “fake,” Gary and whoever else is making that claim ignores that President Biden traveled through Ukraine by train for ten hours. And then ten hours on his return trip. That’s 20 hours when a Russian bomb could have hit President Biden’s train. Yes, Putin was given advance notice that President Biden was visiting Ukraine, but that was a gamble itself. They were trusting that the guy threatening nuclear war and has intentionally dropped bombs on daycare centers wouldn’t want an international incident of murdering an American president. Maybe they told him Trump was on the train.

And just because it was stupid, Gary Varvel drew President Biden riding a snail labeled “FEMA,” not realizing that what happened in East Palestine doesn’t fall under FEMA’s directive.

Biden’s trip was historic. It was the first time an American president visited a war zone that wasn’t occupied by American troops. He was in a danger zone. Russian missiles and bombs hit Ukraine. It was extremely brave and heroic of President Biden to visit. It was everything Republicans would love if one of their guys did it. They would have called it “manly.” If Trump did it, they would say it was an act by the “alpha male.” So of course, they’re trying to diminish what Biden did. All they have to do this with is Trump’s visit to East Palestine where he gave out Trump-branded water and MAGA hats.

It sure was nice of Trump to visit the site of a train derailment while President Biden is in office because he sure didn’t do it for any of the thousands of train derailments during the four years he was president (sic). But maybe the fact the entire Trump presidency (sic) was a train wreck makes up for his lack of visit.

They love to claim that while President Biden was in Ukraine, Trump, the guy who called for terminating the Constitution, was in East Palestine putting America first.

It doesn’t matter what either guy does according to the MAGAts. To them, Biden is a horrible person because maybe two dozen classified documents were found on his property, while Trump had every right to steal thousands of documents. You can’t win with the goons. They ignore reality like the fact Donald Trump is a racist.

President Biden walked through a war zone under the threat of bombs falling on him. Donald Trump is afraid of getting his hair wet.

Music note: I listened to Sananda Francesco Maitreya.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Pachyderm Problems

Republicans have made a lot of promises about how they’ll use their House majority. They’re going to close the border, go after “unelected” bureaucrats, they’re going to cut spending, they’re gonna conduct multiple investigations after more investigations, blah, blah, blah. Legislate and govern? They can’t even get through the door.

Yesterday, two members of the Goon Squad, or if you prefer, the Gaggle of Idiots got lost while walking through the Capitol. Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert are loving holding their own party hostage because it gives them power, makes them relevant for a moment, and gets them on TV. While showing their asses to the media yesterday, they got lost. I’m surprised they didn’t bump into pathological lying freshman Republican George Santos because he got lost too. At least Santos can blame getting lost on it being his first day. What’s Boebert’s and Gaetz’s excuse? Didn’t they map the place out for their January 6 insurrection?

These “rebels” who are members of the so-called Freedom Caucus don’t have a plan beyond holding their party hostage. They’re not even the entire Freedom Caucus. They have the votes to deny the speakership to Kevin McCarthy, who’s currently on his fourth defeat for that job and probably headed for his fifth at this writing, but they don’t have the votes to elect their choice of speaker.

And if they do get their choice of speaker, which was Jim (Gym) Jordan yesterday (and Byron Donalds for the fourth vote today), this would be a speaker they don’t listen to. Jordan told them to vote for McCarthy and they’re not following him. Of course, Jordan doesn’t want the job because then he’d have to herd racist moronic cats when he’d rather be chairing a gaslighting committee investigating something that doesn’t exist.

Matt Gaetz claims he’s opposing Kevin McCarthy because he’s draining the swamp, while he and other members of the Goon Squad are offering their votes for committee assignments, including chairs of committees. According to reports, each time McCarthy meets one of their demands, they add another one, like Fruit-Roll-Ups Tuesdays. Gaetz said he knows swamps since he’s from Florida, and he sure does. There’s nothing swampier than trading your vote for perks.

The Democratic side has stayed loyal with every member voting for Hakeem Jeffries, who’s received more votes than McCarthy all four times. If anything, this shows that Jeffries is a better leader than anyone the GOP side can put up. Nancy Pelosi taught him well.

And that’s just it. When this is finally decided and we have a Republican Speaker of the House, he or she will be the weakest speaker in the history of that elective body. The GOP’s slim majority is being held hostage by 20 members. When this is over, they’ll be able to hold their own hostage again and again. And it’s not like they know how to govern even if they were all on the same page.

A Speaker of the House doesn’t have a mandate if it takes over four votes to win the job.

Why does Kevin McCarthy even want this job? It’s a job of counting votes and he’s shown he can’t do that. He’s shown he can’t babysit these Republicans. He’s shown he can’t do the job he wants so badly. And he’s had since 2018 to rally up these votes. He went into the first vote without having counted them beforehand. Nancy Pelosi never held a vote without first knowing how many she had.

It may not matter who eventually wins the speakership but I hope it’s not McCarthy. I hate to see ass-kissers rewarded. And here, Kevin has kissed every ass put before him and he still isn’t getting what he wants. I also don’t want Jordan to get it because this man helped with an insurrection and in trying to steal an election. Jordan should be facing federal criminal charges for sedition, not chairing committees or being the leader of his caucus.

But I’m pretty sure whoever gets the job is going to burn the place down. They already tried.

Creative note: I wasn’t even thinking of the self-hostage-taking scene in Blazing Saddles when I did this, but Laura, one of my copy editors, mentioned it to me after seeing this and a reader tweeted it at me. Now, I kinda wish I had made the hostage taker and hostage one elephant.

Music note: I listened to The Toadies.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 8 days left (I forgot to update this part over the past few days), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Laptop Strikes Again

Yes, I dropped this joke in a blog two days ago, and I liked it. I was worried another cartoonist would steal it, but I posted it on a Friday and most cartoonists don’t work weekends, especially holiday weekends.

Do not expect the Republican-controlled House to accomplish much, if anything, for the next two years. You can’t take a party seriously when they give the chair of a committee to a lying asswipe goon like Jim Jordan whose face is still embedded between the orange buttcheeks of Donald Trump. This is a guy who helped Donald Trump commit sedition and a coup attempt and got caught lying his treasonous balls off about it, and now he’s the one who’s going to try to get to the bottom of a supposed crime? As Sarah Marshall said in the excellent movie, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

You also can’t take these people seriously when goons like high-school dropout Lauren Boebert, prom-dating Matt Gaetz, and white nationalist terrorist enthusiast Marjorie Taylor Greene are among its members who the party circles the wagons around to protect.

And, you can’t take them seriously when they don’t do anything about incoming freshman liar George Santos. Remember, the Democrats forced out Al Franken for a decades-old joke.

Republicans are not good at multitasking. They can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. The likes of each of those mentioned above have made it clear that they intend to spend the next two years using their majority to lie, gaslight, and smear their political enemies over a conspiracy theory.

Seriously, the only person who’s going to accomplish anything with a GOP majority for the next two years is, well…me.

Happy new year.

Music note: I tried to listen to the new Bush album.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 11 days left, so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Nosy Republicans

This should not come as a surprise to anyone but a brand new lie has been discovered from Republican congressman-elect, George Santos.

You remember this Republican idiot. He won a Long Island congressional district that includes parts of Queens, and then we learned last week that basically everything he claimed about his past is a lie.

He lied about his education, claiming he has a degree (he does not) and that he went to two New York City universities that he never attended. He lied about being Jewish, now saying he didn’t say “Jewish,” but “Jew-ish.” He lied about his ancestry. He lied about where he worked and a charity he invented. He lied about having employees who were at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando during a mass shooting. He lied about being a landlord when the fact is he was an evicted tenant. He lied about his income.

George Santos is a pathological liar.

When I wrote about this last week, I joked that he might have lied about being an openly gay Republican. He says he’s been out and proud for the past decade and it’s revolutionary for a gay Latino Republican to win a congressional seat. But now The Daily Beast (I just signed up for a year’s subscription for $25 and this is the first time I’m getting to use it for my research) is reporting that Santos got a divorce within two weeks of announcing his candidacy for Congress.

Now Santos says he lives in Long Island with his husband and four dogs. That’s nice…but there’s no record of him being married to the guy he claims is his husband. But what we did find was a divorce… from a woman. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Santos is lying about those four dogs.

People get married for different reasons and plenty of gay people have married the opposite sex. But Santos claims he’s been out and proud for the past decade…when he was married to a woman, which he must not have been proud about because he kept it from his voters. Why he was married to a woman is his business and I’m not trying to pry into that. What I think is scandalous is that he kept it from his voters.

Santos admitted in an interview that he lied about his education and some of his work history and blows it off, comparing it to people who fudge their resumés. But if you lie on a job application the way Santos did to win a seat in Congress, you’d get fired. Baskin-Robbins fired Ant-Man for lying about his criminal past, though they did let him grab a Mango Fruit Blast on his way out the door, off the books of course. “Baskin-Robbins don’t play”. But Republicans, having fewer ethics than Baskin-Robbins, won’t push Santos out because they don’t care. If anything, they might become even more comfortable with him since he was once married to a woman….so maybe he’s not all gay.

And speaking of criminal pasts (although Ant-Man’s was a “cool” crime), Santos may be wanted in Brazil.

Republicans are liars so they’ll be OK with one more, especially with only a nine-seat advantage over Democrats in the House. They know if they remove Santos, which is within their power, that a Democrat will probably, most certainly, win his seat in a special election. And Santos better not get too comfortable in Congress because he will not be re-elected in 2024.

Now, while Republicans say they have ethics and the truth is important to them while they don’t force Santos out, watch their noses grow.

What House Republicans should do is fire George Santos, but let him grab a Mango Fruit Blast on his way out the door.

Creative note: I knew other cartoonists were gonna go for the Pinocchio cliché after this story hit, and I saw one yesterday. I took a break while drawing this and saw three more in a collection on Instagram (gathered by my friend Courtney Clift). Crap, I just saw another one on Facebook. Some of those guys are using it because they’re lazy (I liked one of them). I’m using it because I’m not lazy and kinda dreaded the work this one would entail. I’m pretty certain I missed something, like coloring a leaf, and I’ll spot it three days from now.

It is a good time to use the cliché as Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio came out a few weeks ago, and it’s excellent. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did and plan to watch it again. You should too.

Music note: Today’s music to color to was provided by Counting Crows.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 15 days left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Here’s Quannah’s countdown clock.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Fair is Fair

And why do you get to pay lower tax rates when people before you had to pay higher tax rates?

And why do you get to go to Heaven when there were millions of people who died before Jesus could die for their sins?

If you listen to Republican logic, nothing should be improved. Nothing should ever be adjusted. Nothing should ever be fixed…except of course, for them.

How many of them have received loan forgiveness? How many of them have received massive stimulus checks and tax breaks for their businesses? How come my sandwich shop has to pay taxes to the city while the city gifts a multi-billionaire a brand new football stadium?

Life’s not always fair, but we can improve on a lot of aspects of it to make it fairer. But Republicans only believe in government assistance that helps the rich. As someone tweeted at me this morning, we need a cure for Republicans.

Sorry for the short blog, but I wrote on this yesterday and I have a CNN deadline.

Music note: I listened to Kimya Dawson while drawing this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Pence and the FB-Fly

For only the second time in his life, Mike Pence committed a noble act and called on his Republican Party to stop attacking the FBI. But I think Mike Pence forgets this is the same party that called for his hanging after he committed the first noble act of his life.

When Mike Pence refused to help Trump overturn the election he lost, his white nationalist terrorists ran through the Capitol chanting, “Hang Mike Pence.” This was after Trump tweeted an attack on Pence and goaded this MAGA mob to go after him. The terrorists came within 40 feet of Mike Pence and his family. Donald Trump has never apologized for this or accepted responsibility.

Now, Donald Trump is goading his MAGA terrorists to attack the FBI, and elected Republicans and other assorted goons, like the ones on Fox News, are helping him. Donald Trump has not done what Pence did and sent out a message that Attorney General Merrick Garland, the Justice Department, and the FBI can be held accountable without being threatened physically.

Now, what’s this business of Republicans screaming and soiling themselves over everyone being held accountable except for Donald Trump?

Sure, the Justice Department will be held accountable, for better or worse, when the time comes. But, Merrick Garland doesn’t have to cave to GOP and MAGAt demands that he explain everything and show all his cards before any prosecutions begin. Sure, it’s unprecedented for the FBI to get a search warrant for a former president’s (sic) home, but it’s also unprecedented for a former president (sic) to be a crook who takes home classified information that threatens national security. Even Richard Nixon didn’t do that shit.

So, in the spirit of accountability, let’s ask Donald Trump a few questions. Tiny has some ‘splaining to do but he’d rather keep assailing the FBI.

Why did Donald Trump take classified information to his golf resort in Florida after he left the White House?

Why didn’t Donald Trump return all of it when the National Archives retrieved 15 boxes?

Why did Donald Trump’s lawyers lie and say it was all returned when it wasn’t?

Why wouldn’t Donald Trump just return the stuff instead of forcing DOJ to get a warrant?

Why does Donald Trump believe he owns this stuff?

What was Donald Trump’s intention for this material?

Was any of it actually declassified?

Why hasn’t Donald Trump called his goons off from attacking the FBI, even after an attack on the FBI office in Cincinnati?

And why hasn’t Donald Trump explained any of this yet?

It was very noble of Mike Pence to tell the goons to stop attacking the FBI and that “calls to defund the F.B.I. are just as wrong as calls to defund the police,” which is what Marjorie Taylor Greene has done. But, Pence went back to his old role which is lying. He said the Republican Party is the party of law and order.

I think the FBI, Department of Justice, and the Capitol Police would disagree. The leader of the Law-and-Order Party is a thief who tried to destroy democracy through a violent coup attempt.

Music note: I listened to the Kinks.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Champagne Bang-Bang

Every time a mass shooting or potential mass shooting is stopped by what Republicans and the National Rifle Association like to describe as a “good guy with a gun,” gun humpers latch onto the theory that it is the only way to stop a “bad guy with a gun.” But is it though?

In 2017 in Sutherland Springs, Texas, a good guy with a gun stopped a mass shooter. But did he really? The good guy with a gun waited outside the church where the bad guy with the gun had just finished killing 27 people and injuring 22 others. The good guy didn’t go in during the shooting, which now seems to be common practice in Texas for good guys with guns.

Waiting outside, the good guy opened fire on the bad guy after he came out of the church. He shot the bad guy, who then took off in his vehicle. The good guy and a second good guy pursued the bad guy who eventually crashed his car and died.

But did the good guy save any lives? After the bad guy left the scene, the good guy chased him instead of going inside the church to check on the wounded. Perhaps he really could have saved a life if he had stopped a victim’s bleeding. Who knows? But it’s hard to argue the good guy with a gun saved any lives or that this incident proves the theory works. Despite there being a good guy with a gun, 27 people died.

Sunday at a mall in Indiana, a shooter killed three people and injured three others before a 22-year-old good guy with a gun took him out. The good guy was legally licensed to carry a concealed weapon. The killer got off 20 shots before the good guy took him down. This good guy probably saved lives. But is this the system we want for gun safety, more people with guns? Republicans and the NRA say yes.

Gun nuts have already made it clear that dozens of dead children are a price they’re willing to pay for their right to own assault rifles. And with this latest incident, they’re surely going to celebrate that only three people died. But wouldn’t it be better if no one died? Can we live with mass shootings if only three people die at each? If so, we have some very low standards and appreciation for life.

We wouldn’t need protection from bad guys with guns from good guys with guns if perhaps no bad guys had guns.

CNN’s Alysin Camerota asked, “are we all supposed to rely on an armed 22-year-old in the food court?”

Kris Brown, president of the gun control group Brady: United Against Gun Violence, dispelled the NRA’s myth of the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun by saying, “If more guns made us safer, America would be the safest country in the WORLD. We need sensible gun laws, not vigilante safety nets.”

Our only option against a mass shooter shouldn’t be hoping there’s a vigilante hanging about nearby. Wouldn’t a better option be ending mass shootings? It can be done. It has been done, just not here.

When NRA fucks say banning guns won’t end gun violence, they don’t really know because we haven’t tried. Let’s give it a try. We’re Americans. We’re supposed to be good at magnificent achievements because we’re the greatest country in the world. Right? So, if we’re so awesome, then banning assault rifles and ending mass shootings should be a piece of cake. Hey, we’re Americans. We’re fat. We like cake. Let’s do it.

The only thing to stop bad guys with guns is for good people to end the carefree and irresponsible distribution of assault rifles.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Abnormal Texas

I hope someday Texas evolves beyond the Republican Party because the diversity in that state grows on a daily basis while the GOP keeps regressing. And as far-right and as out of touch as national Republicans are, Texas Republicans are even worse. And I hope Texas outgrows the GOP before the GOP makes it illegal for nonwhites to vote, which they’re working on.

Texas Republicans are the Texas Taliban. Just like the Taliban, they want to control women, condemn homosexuality, and govern by religious dogma. Don’t believe me? Check out the new state party platform the Texas fucknuts devised over the weekend.

Texas Republicans had their convention over the weekend in Houston. Texas Republicans are so far right that they booed Texas Republicans. They booed their Senator, John Cornyn, for working with Democrats on gun legislation (that doesn’t even touch guns) and they booed Texas Republican congressman Dan Crenshaw.

Alex Stein is a conservative comedian which means he’s not funny. Case in point: He thinks calling a guy who lost an eye while fighting in a war who he perceives as being a RINO (Republican in name only) “Eyepatch McCain.” Maybe Stein isn’t that creative as he’s just repeating a nickname Tucker Carlson came up with, but Stein was there. Support our troops, eh, Republicans?

This is why conservatives make lousy comedians. They’re not funny and they don’t even understand they’re supposed to write their own material. C’mon, they’re not conservative political cartoonists.

There was a scuffle between Crenshaw’s security tean and Stein and his goons. Crenshaw later tweeted, “This is what happens when angry little boys like @alexstein99 don’t grow up and can’t get girlfriends…” Damn. Crenshaw is funnier than the conservative comedian. I expect conservative comedian Stein to retort with, “Oh yeah? Well…you’re the one who can’t get a girlfriend. High five!”

But back to this platform. You’re going to love it never at all.

Among the proposals for the platform is that President Biden was NOT legitimately elected. Yes, they want to make their fucked-up conspiracy theories an official part of their platform. I’m shocked they’re not inserting shit into their platform about Hugo Chavez, Italian satellites, and bamboo ballots. Did I just give them some ideas?

They didn’t allow Log Cabin Republicans to have a booth at the convention as their platform is now declaring homosexuality an “abnormal lifestyle choice” while it’s not “abnormal” or a “choice.” The only thing I can see abnormal about gay Republicans is that they’re gay Republicans. Why the fuck do they want to be in a party that hates them? I don’t understand this the same way I don’t understand why any blacks would vote Republican.

I used to say the same thing about Republicans who claim to be patriots yet support a fascist movement until I realized they’re lying about the patriot part.

Other goodies in the new platform oppose efforts to classify carbon dioxide as a pollutant, repeal the 16th Amendment (which established the income tax), and bring prayer back into public schools, courthouses, and public buildings.

The platform supports abolishing abortion and recognizing life begins at fertilization before anything has entered the womb. It gets crazier. They want to mandate that Texas students “learn about the humanity of the preborn child,” in part by forcing students to listen to ultrasounds of gestating fetuses. That’s some real Taliban shit there.

The platform is also calling for ending the 1965 Voting Rights Act which Republicans nationally are doing anyway but calling it “voting integrity” in order not to say the racist quiet part out loud. In Texas, they say the racist quiet part out loud.

You can say this is just a bunch of crazy right-wing oppressive Texans who don’t represent any national movement, but I’ll retort with a “n’yuh-uh.” National Republicans are NOT condemning or speaking out against this platform. They’re going to sit back and see how well it goes over.

When Texas banned abortions and legalized posses to round up abortion doctors and anyone driving a woman to get an abortion, other Republican states started to follow their lead. Mississippi, Missouri, Florida, Oklahoma, Afghanistan, etc… They’re all following these goons.

And after the Supreme Court allows them to ban abortion, other states are going to ban abortion. What’s going to happen after the Supreme Court allows them to put prayer back in school, ignore pollution, repeal all taxes, ban gays, and finally, make it illegal for nonwhites to vote? Other yee-haw states will follow.

Republicans are racist. They have racist policies. They’re backward with women and gay rights. And they’re a bunch of religious zealots. This Texas Republican platform is the mood for the national Republican Party. It’s not that Texas Republicans are abnormal. All Republicans are abnormal.

Texas is just saying all the hateful and regressive parts out loud.

Music Note: I listened to a 90s alt mix while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Uvalde Coverup

Is there a coverup going on about the police response to the Uvalde school massacre?

While the 18-year-old shooter was inside a classroom with elementary students, some who had covered themselves in their classmates’ blood to hide and others who may have been bleeding to death, 19 cops refused to enter the classroom for 90 minutes.

There were cops outside arresting parents who were trying to enter the school to save their children. There were cops inside the hallway. During this time, children were calling the police from inside the classroom. Texas law enforcement has said “oops. Our bad,” but they haven’t provided good reasons as to why they messed this up so bad. There was one honest answer from a law enforcement spokesperson that the cops were afraid the shooter might stop shooting elementary students to shoot at cops.

The Texas Department of Public Safety is no longer investigating the police response as it’s the investigation has been handed over to the Uvalde County District Attorney, who does not plan to share the findings with the public.

The narrative from Texas authorities has shifted numerous times in order to avoid casting blame on law enforcement. In order to shift blame from cops, you have to blame someone else, like teachers and doors.

Texas DPS Director Steven McCraw blamed a teacher for the shooter’s entry into the school, claiming the shooter entered Robb Elementary through a back door a teacher had left propped open. The story changed four days later when the teacher’s lawyer spoke to the San Antonio Express-News.

The teacher did open the door to get her lunch out of her car, saw the gunman coming who had started firing at the school, then she slammed the door shut, which didn’t automatically lock. The DPS now says there’s a video confirming the teacher kicked a rock out that was propping the door open, and she slammed it shut.

Conservatives LOVE LOVE LOVE hating on teachers. They accuse them of teaching Critical Race Theory, which they are not teaching (but schools should be teaching). They claim teachers have a gay agenda in order to attack teachers while being homophobic. Now, they’re blaming teachers for a school shooting.

It’s ridiculous to blame teachers for a mass shooting, especially when two of them are murder victims along with 19 of their students. Cops and Republicans are trying to cover their asses.

What we should blame are guns. We should also blame cops who refused to respond. And, we should blame Republicans who refuse to even debate gun legislation. You can’t have a serious discussion on gun legislation with people who show off their gun collection during the discussion.

We should totally blame Republicans because Republicans are leaving the doors open for school shooters.

Music note: I listened to several artists while drawing this, including M.I.A, and now I’m going to have “some some some a some I murder, some a some I let go” in my head all day.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Disinformation Board

In their criticism of the Department of Homeland Security’s newly-created Disinformation Governance Board, Republicans have one thing right. It’s a stupid name. Maybe the agency thought that “governance” would explain the anti-disinformation part, but they failed to take into account that Republicans don’t do well with the comprehension of things. And it’s not like they want to comprehend anything anyway when they have a new talking point or red meat to throw out to their rabid base.

So, what is this disinformation board stuff? I had the same question when I saw a conservative cartoon on it, and then another and another and another, etc, etc, which meant Fox News must be all over it. If you want to know what Fox News is talking about, just read the conservative political cartoons at GoComics. It’ll save you a lot of time and you’ll get a huge laugh out of it as conservative cartoons are hilarious, though that’s inadvertent.

The Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas testified in multiple Congressional hearings last week where he mentioned the Disinformation Governance Board. Yeah, it’s a stupid name. Mayorkas said the board was created to combat misinformation from human smugglers and to counter Russian cyber and election misinformation.

Mayorkas said, “We have just established a mis- and disinformation governance board in the Department of Homeland Security to more effectively combat this threat, not only to election security but to our homeland security.”

Why, golly gee willikers, that sounds like a good idea. Who doesn’t want to fight coyotes smuggling humans in from the southern border and Russian attacks on our country? Republicans, that’s who.

Elon Musk said the creation of the board was “messed up.” Elon might as well be a Republican now because as the GOP became more racist, tried to overturn a Democratic election to install an Oompa-Loompa fascist dictator, defended Russia for attacking our nation’s elections, banned abortion by stealing Supreme Court seats, created new laws to stop black people from voting, and is now at war with a cartoon mouse, has found the Democratic Party too extreme.

Republicans also have issues with the board’s executive director, Nina Jankowicz, because she’s praised efforts to combat coronavirus misinformation on social media and expressed skepticism about the relevance of Hunter Biden’s laptop.

Republicans are also comparing this to the “Ministry of Truth” in George Orwell’s novel, “1984.”

Senator and white nationalist terrorist power-fister Josh Hawley said, “Rather than police our border, Homeland Security has decided to make policing Americans’ speech its top priority.”

Senator Rob Portman said, “I do not believe that the United States government should turn the tools that we have used to assist our allies counter foreign adversaries onto the American people. Our focus should be on bad actors like Russia and China, not our own citizens.”

But the board isn’t policing speech from citizens of this nation. Its focus is on foreign actors like Russian election meddlers and human smugglers from south of the border. Was the Mayorkas’ microphone not turned on during the hearings? Actually, Republicans didn’t ask a lot of questions about the board during those hearings choosing to instead express anger and gaslight it. And there’s the irony.

The Republicans are lying about a board created to combat lies. Republicans don’t get irony.

And just like the way Republicans were angrier with the FBI for going after suspected Russian spies than they were angry with the actual Russian spies, they’re more upset at a board created to combat lies than they are with the lies. Republicans are more upset with this board than they were with Pizzagate.

Republicans are way off base here and are claiming (another lie) that the board is going to have some sort of authority or ability to shut Americans up. Yeah, I wish. It’s more of that typical Republican doomsday shit where they tell their base, “They’re coming to getcha. Vote Republican.”

Mayorkas has explained, “The board does not have any operational authority or capability,” he said. “What it will do is gather together best practices in addressing the threat of disinformation from foreign state adversaries, from the cartels, and disseminate those best practices to the operators that have been executing in addressing this threat for years.”

Mayorkas said the board was part of an effort whose “goal is to bring the resources of the department together to address this threat,” specifically citing misinformation disseminated to Spanish speakers. 

As I said, Republicans weren’t listening. Jim Jordan asked the director if the board would look into “misinformation” spread by Dr. Anthony Fauci and…wait for it…Hunter Biden’s laptop. Seriously. You can’t talk about shit in Washington without a Republican bringing up Hunter Biden’s laptop.

Jordan is especially opposed to Jankowicz leading the board as she once tweeted that Hunter Biden’s laptop should be viewed as a “Trump campaign product” because of top Trump allies’ role in pushing it. Again, this Republican was missing the irony that during his questioning, he was a Trump ally pushing Hunter Biden’s laptop as a campaign product.

Jankowica tweeted last week, “one of the key reasons the Board was established, is to maintain the [DHS’s] commitment to protecting free speech, privacy, civil rights, & civil liberties.” So, pushing right-wing bullshit is NOT part of the board’s agenda?

Republicans don’t understand free speech. They don’t understand that no one owes them a platform to lie. They don’t understand that organizing a terrorist attack to topple our government isn’t free speech or protected in the Constitution. They don’t comprehend that accusing a political opponent of a crime, like raping children, isn’t freedom of speech and is actually libelous.

Republicans are the party of lies, conspiracy theories, and bullshit. They tell us that Russia didn’t attack our nation to help Donald Trump win an election, except Russia did exactly that. They tell us there are millions of incidents of voter fraud in the 2020 election, which is another lie. They’re changing voting laws based on the election fraud lie. They lie that public schools are teaching Critical Race Theory and are indoctrinating elementary students into becoming gay. It has become impossible for a Republican to talk about any issue without lying. Don’t believe me? Then why don’t you have a nice tall glass of bleach?

Let’s not even look at the lunatics in the party like Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, or Madison Cawthorn. Ignore Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and Rand Paul for a minute. Let’s look at the leaders. Mitch McConnell lied about Supreme Court seats as he was stealing them. He’s currently lying about the filibuster because he’s going to destroy that after the GOP takes the Senate in order to ban abortion. Kevin McCarthy lies about telling Trump he’s responsible for the January 6 attack, despite there being tapes of him saying that. And speaking of Trump, he told over 30,000 while he was president (sic).

If there’s a new agency created to go after liars, then why are Republicans so afraid? Oh, yeah. Because they’re liars. Republicans are the enemies of truth.

Music Note: Today’s cartooning music was Better Than Ezra which might be some more disinformation because I don’t know if they’re actually better than someone named Ezra.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: