Joe Biden

McTortoise Obstruction


Cjones05102021

Mitch McConnell, the Senate Minority Leader, said, “One hundred percent of my focus is on stopping the Biden administration.” He said “one hundred percent.” He didn’t say stuff he disagreed with, or stuff he considered wrong for the nation, or that he expected there to be legislation he didn’t want….he said “one hundred percent.” That means everything. Why? Because he’s a dick.

When you look at what’s wrong with Washington, start with Mitch McConnell. Oh, sure. You have a Josh Hawley out there fisting terrorists. You got Ted Cruz eating Trump’s shit sandwich while bailing on his constituents and pretending to be outraged at everything. You have Rand Paul being a dick about everything from tax hikes on corporations to how his neighbor bags his cut grass, but Rand Paul is just Rand Paul. Mitch McConnell is the leader of his Senate caucus. For most of the Obama administration and all of Donald Trump’s, he was the Senate leader.

Over in the House, you can say the problem with Washington is that a Republican Party is now a cult and they’re about to expel one of their leaders…for telling the truth. They’re going to expel a leader for saying an election wasn’t stolen. They’re going to expel a leader for siding AGAINST terrorists. They have literally have two members of Qanon in the House and one guy who possibly had sex with a teenager which they’re not criticizing. And you can look at the Republicans in both chambers and how they allowed and defended Donald Trump breaking the law and his oath of office. But to see where the problem starts, look at Mitch.

After President Obama was elected, Mitch said his only job was to make sure Obama only served one term. It didn’t matter if Obama brought something good to the table or not. Mitch is so partisan, his mission wasn’t to do his job as a Senator, but as a Republican operative and destroy the Obama presidency. He failed.

Now, Mitch out to do the same thing to President Biden. This is a guy who blamed Donald Trump for the insurrection and then voted against impeaching him. Sure, Trump brought terrorists to attack the very building you work in…but let’s let that slide…and focus on destroying President Biden.

Fuck helping to end the pandemic, or aiding the economic recovery, or stopping mass shootings. All Mitch wants to do is block everything the Biden administration tries to accomplish. Does this mean rebuilding America’s infrastructure? It sure does. McConnell will block stuff during the Biden era that he would have helped craft for the Trump administration. Donald Trump talked a lot of shit about rebuilding our nation’s infrastructure…but he spent more time playing golf, making racist comments, attacking his critics, breaking his oath of office, and grifting. President Biden is already working to repair the Trump mess and if McConnell succeeds at obstructing, it’ll remain a mess. Can you imagine how much could be accomplished if McConnell actually sat down with the president (the real one) and said, “Let’s see what we agree on so we can help people”?

Keep in mind it was President Obama with Vice-President Biden who had to clean up President Bush’s mess. They did it without McConnell’s help. Then, Donald Trump took credit for all of Obama’s accomplishments and coasted on the economy he didn’t create…and McConnell enabled that. Now that Trump has left us a shattered economy and a pandemic to recover from, McConnell doesn’t want to help the Biden-Harris administration.

Repairing our nation’s falling infrastructure, shattered economy, and recovering from a pandemic the previous administration ignored shouldn’t be a Democratic or Republican job. It should be an American effort. President Biden said yesterday there are “no Republican or Democratic” bridges. There are just bridges. But there are Republican assholes.

In many racist red states, it will soon be legal to run over and murder with your car people protesting against police violence. But if Mitch McTortoise is in the road, it will not be legal to squash his decrepit ass.

And maybe that is what’s wrong with our country.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Scared Trumpers


cjones02212021

Perhaps the main takeaway viewers got from CNN’s town hall with President Joe Biden was that we were listening to answers from an adult president. We have a president who isn’t a fear mongerer trying to capitalize from hate. Unlike his predecessor, we have a president now who does NOT behave like a poo-flinging monkey. I apologize for that comparison to all poo-flinging monkeys.

Even when President Biden gave answers liberals didn’t want, like you’re not going to get free college just yet, there was still comfort they were listening to an adult, someone who is honest. It was comforting. The highlight was probably when President Biden comforted a child.

A mother with her eight-year-old daughter stood up and asked Biden what to tell kids who are worried about getting Covid and dying. President Biden said, “Don’t be scared, honey. You’re gonna be fine. Don’t be scared. And we’re gonna make sure that mommy’s fine too.” He told her directly that kids don’t usually get the coronavirus, and when they do, they very rarely pass it on. He asked another questioner, whose son couldn’t get a vaccination from the virus despite serious medical issues, to hang around and talk to him after the town hall and he would see if he could help her. Did Trump ever hang around after to help anyone who wasn’t him? Did Donald Trump ever try to help anyone without getting something for it?

It was a refreshing change from a president (sic) who gave shout-outs to Nazis.

Of course, the MAGAts tried to fake outrage over President Biden calling a little girl, “honey.” These are probably the same people who laughed at Rush Limbaugh’s parody of “Puff the Magic Dragon,” but titled, “Obama the Magic Negro.” These are probably the same people who laughed when Donald Trump, “their president,” mocked a handicapped reporter with an impersonation.

Donald Trump was a hater who gained the presidency on fear and racism. His very first plan as a candidate was to build a racist border wall to keep out the “rapists and murderers” Mexico was sending us. He defended murderous Nazis marching with tiki torches while chanting “Jews will not replace us.” He gave a shout-out to the Proud Boys, a racist group the FBI says is an extremist group with ties to terrorism, while Canada doesn’t hold back and has classified them as terrorist.

President Biden said he had received calls from all of the living former presidents except one. I think we know who that is but he probably doesn’t count. And in reference to that guy, Biden didn’t want to talk about him and even referred to him as that “former guy.” I like that. It’s better than “former president.” But, some of us are obviously still talking about that former guy. So let’s talk about him.

There were a lot of things President Biden said that the former guy would never say.

That former guy wanted to feed his base, which is why he gave shout-outs to Nazis. President Biden actually told his base things they didn’t want to hear, as in no defunding of the police. He actually wants to increase funding for police. When a woman brought up the government canceling $50,000 in student loan debt per borrower and asked, “What will you do to make that happen?”. President Biden said, “I won’t.”

President Biden called those who support white supremacist ideals “dangerous” and “demented” and said his administration will review the rise of white supremacy among the military and former police officers (maybe defund racist cops? Hmm?). Donald Trump didn’t go after racists. He gave them shout-outs and praise. He talked about how much they “loved their country.” Donald Trump embraced Qanon cultists at his political rallies. By the way, if you’re still defending the attack on the Capitol, claiming the election was stolen, and support Donald Trump, you’re dangerous and demented.

President Biden said that for four years, the news has been nothing but Trump. He said, “For the next four years, I want to make sure all the news is about the American people.” Do you know who would never say that? The former guy who would hate that. He loved it being all about him. In fact, MAGA is all about Trump and less about policy. Today, 70% of Republicans want the party to be the party of Trump. MAGA is a cult.

But the one thing President Biden said that Donald Trump couldn’t have ever said even it was on a teleprompter in front of him, written by someone else, and after he had received a brain transplant was, “I literally pray that I have the capacity to do for the country what you all deserve need be done.” Pray? That former guy only went to church for photo-ops and literally didn’t know the Bible well enough to tell which side was up.

A lot of MAGAts refuse to believe Joe Biden is their president. Many still believe Donald Trump will retake the White House, not in four years, but next month. Seriously. And to be fair, Donald Trump wasn’t my president but that’s because I refused to recognize someone as president who was aided by Russia and conducted everything on hate. I refused to accept a “president” who didn’t actually want to do the job as president. I didn’t accept Trump as my president because being the president for white supremacists made it clear to me that Trump did NOT want to be my president. The people who refuse to accept Joe Biden do so because he’s decent and not that hater…except for the extreme liberals. They’re still upset he’s not Bernie.

No Green Deal, people. Sorry. It sounds good on paper but right now, people in Texas could probably use a few more cow farts.

But here’s the thing, MAGAts: Donald Trump is not coming back to retake the White House next month. And since he lost the popular vote twice, it’s not looking good for him in four years either.

Joe Biden is not perfect, but he is a good man. He’s decent. He’s honest. He doesn’t put himself first. It’s not all about him. He doesn’t try to scare everyone to keep himself in power. He doesn’t give shout-outs to Nazis. And I understand there are a lot of people, Republicans, who miss having a president who sucked up to Nazis. But he’s gone and he’s probably never coming back.

Joe Biden is your president whether you like it or not. And maybe you should start getting used to it….honey.

Creative note: I have not been happy with my caricature of President Joe Biden. Some days, I’m OK with it. Others, I am frustrated. And I was getting frustrated with it last night until this version came out of my stylus. I tried a new tactic of trying to draw his actual face instead of caricaturing him…then turning it into a caricature. The photo I worked off from, found in Google Images, is this one. How long I’m happy with it is still to be determined.

Other creative note: I had just started working on this cartoon and was planning to publish it yesterday afternoon when a friend messaged me that Rush Limbaugh had died. I had CNN on my TV but they hadn’t reported yet. A quick run to my FB timeline showed a lot of posts about Rush dying so I knew it was probably true. You can’t trust nitwits on social media. Last week, someone said Andy Griffith just died. But soon after, CNN came through. But I stopped drawing this cartoon and went to work on the Rush one you saw yesterday. That took about 20 minutes.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have 10 copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

After MAGA


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I kinda expect other cartoonists to follow suit and do something similar to this. I wrote the previous sentence two days ago and now, I’ve seen about 15 cartoons like this.

This cartoon focuses on the Oval Office, but the mess Trump leaves behind, the damage he leaves behind, extends beyond the Oval Office. He damaged the presidency. He damaged the country. He promised on his first day in 2017 that “this American carnage stops here and it stops right now.” I think he confused “stop” with “start.”

Joe Biden’s first order of business will be reversing a lot of Trump fuckery, like getting us back into the Paris Climate Agreement. He’s going to mandate that face masks be worn at all federal facilities, which Trump refused to do. Biden is going to get rid of the Muslim ban. He’s going to extend a nationwide restriction on evictions and foreclosures. There are also plans to provide another stimulus worth $1.9 trillion with each taxpayer receiving a check for $1,400. I’m not going to sneeze at that.

There’s also taking over the vaccine rollout that Trump has messed up, and his call for 100 days of everyone in this nation, even the fucknuts who politicized it, wearing a face mask. At the very least, we’ll have a president who cares about the problem instead of one who pretends there isn’t one.

Biden’s biggest task will be uniting the country, and I have to admit, I’m one of those resisting that. Why do I want to unite with MAGAts? I don’t have common ground with liars, conspiracy theorists, gaslighters, and Nazis. Fuck those people. I have no use for any of them.

How does a president unite a country when the majority of Republicans believe he “stole” the election? Why would you want to “unite” with a party when nearly a majority of them support the terrorists who violently attacked the Capitol?

We don’t need to find common ground with people who are in a cult. We need to deprogram the people in a cult. How can you tell you’re in a cult? If you believe Donald Trump won the election, Joe Biden stole it, there was mass voter fraud, or “election irregularities,” you’re in a fucking cult. Instead of sitting down with a cultist for a beer or a cup of coffee, I’d rather stick their head in a toilet for 17 hours until they re-learned how to think for themselves. We can’t even talk to these people when they don’t use facts.

The job Joe Biden has to do would be a hard job for anybody. He and President Obama left Trump a booming economy, a strong military, and international respect. Donald Trump destroyed all of that…and then tried to destroy the rest of the nation. Now, Donald Trump has left Joe Biden American carnage.

I’m really glad Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are here, but to be honest, I’m mostly glad Donald Trump is gone.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Good Riddance, Trump Baby


CNN12272020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I’m probably going to do another New Year concept for my newspaper and website clients (they don’t get my CNN cartoons) so I’m going to apologize now.

I was trying to make Trump look like the Trump Baby balloon. That’s why his mouth is open and he’s holding a cell phone.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Say That Title


cjones12182020

One funny trait of MAGAts is that in their rush to prove who can be the most vile, they often come off as being the most stupid and most ridiculous.

Republicans have a problem with women, especially intelligent women. Trust me, guys. Life will be easier if you accept the fact that women tend to be smarter than we are. Just deal with it. A woman brought you into this world. You were raised by a woman. You were probably raised by multiple women. Yet, you have this fear of them and I don’t know what it is. Are you afraid they’re smarter than you? I think that’s a good thing. Personally, I don’t think a woman’s intelligence, success, education, or accomplishments diminishes me. For me, it’s an accomplishment and success to be with her.

There are huge benefits being with someone smarter than you are. For example: I had my ex-girlfriend, who is highly educated, put together my drawing table. I wasn’t going to be able to figure that shit out. During Christmas, she had me put together some sort of Barbie castle thing with a slide for her daughter which had all sorts of spinning and moveable parts (I think she was testing me)…and let’s just say there’s a lot of super glue in that thing where none is supposed to be (and probably some hair and pieces of my skin). Putting that thing together was a total nightmare. After we broke up last December (not because of the dream castle), I bought a kitchen table and chairs, and those chairs are still unassembled on top of the table. There’s nothing wrong with eating while standing over the sink.

Conservative dudes are not very intelligent, but it’s cute they think they are. Yeah, I said it. And they’re especially afraid of smart women in politics. Over the past two years after her party retook the House, they watched Nancy Pelosi own Donald Trump in negotiations. Remember, they claim Trump is a great negotiator and that Speaker Pelosi is beneath him…yet, she has Trump’s number. Donald Trump still isn’t over Hillary Clinton and talks about her like she’s an ex from his high school who never returned his class ring (that happened to me). Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the full package Republicans fear as she’s female, smart, educated, from New York, and brown. In 1993, racist senator Jesse Helms got into an elevator at the same time as the first black female senator, Carol Mosely Braun, and decided right then was a good time to start singing “Dixie,” in order to “make her cry.” Helms wasn’t a talented singer but he was capable of multitasking sexism and racism.

During the 1992 presidential campaign, Republicans began the gaslighting of Hillary Clinton. The fear was there would be an intelligent, educated woman in the White House who would be interested in issues beyond “just saying no.” Hillary Clinton was a prominent lawyer who worked on the Watergate committee. She had a BA from Wellesley College and a JD from Yale. Barbara Bush, her predecessor, a very intelligent and wonderful person in her own right who championed literacy, was a college dropout (I am too). One of the negatives about Clinton Republicans highlighted was that she had a job while her husband was governor. The gaslighting continued until…well, it’s still going on.

Michelle Obama had a job too and after she came into the White House, Republicans attacked her for not wearing sleeves and for wanting our children to eat healthier. What an evil woman. Michelle Obama is another female who has everything Republican men fear. She is intelligent, educated, smarter than they are, from Chicago, and…wait for it…black. Worst of all, she’s a really good person and a great mother. She had the gall not to have any scandals while in the White House or ever.

Forgetting they ever got mad at a First Lady for wearing something without sleeves, Republicans totally overlooked when Melania Trump went sleeveless…or in photos from her modeling past, without sleeves, or shirts, or pants, or underwear…but she was wearing another woman. Republicans praised her for being the classiest First Lady in history despite her borderline porn past…wearing that other woman. They said she was super smart because she can speak five languages, which they’ve never heard her do. They didn’t get upset when she said, “Fuck Christmas stuff and decorations.” They didn’t care that her campaign against online bullying was totally contradictory to her husband’s habit of online bullying. The thing about Melania isn’t her porn past or the fact she doesn’t do anything as First Lady except for making scary Christmas trees and destroying things other First Ladies created, but the fact she’s a mere trophy wife for a billionaire. She’s his third wife who is also his third model. You’re going to argue she married Donald Trump for his looks and personality? I’m sure the fourth model wife won’t be marrying him for his money either. That might be true because after his creditors come calling and all the lawsuits and criminal charges hit, he may not have any money.

Joseph Epstein has a serious issue with women. From looking at his Wikipedia page, he has issues about a lot of things, including homosexuals. Epstein wrote an op-ed for The Wall Street Journal saying the incoming First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden, should stop using the title “Dr.” He argues people who aren’t medical doctors but have doctorates shouldn’t use the title.

Epstein wrote, “The Ph.D. may once have held prestige, but that has been diminished by the erosion of seriousness and the relaxation of standards in university education generally.”

Tucker Carlson defended this by saying Dr. Jill Biden is as much of a doctor as Dr. Pepper. He also said people shouldn’t use the title “Dr” until they’ve delivered a baby. By those standards, we should stop calling Dr. Ben Carson “Dr.” Also, where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?

The top editor of the Journal, Paul A. Gigot, wrote a response defending Epstein’s chauvinism. He claims all the criticism is a coordinated political attack, ignoring that every conservative on the planet is now using the same talking points to attack Dr. Jill Biden over her title. And surely, Epstein wasn’t as being sexist in regards to Dr. Jill Biden as he was to other feminist scholars to whom he has referred to at various times as “pit bulls” and “dykes on bikes.”

Here’s the thing, kids: In addition to teaching, Dr. Jill Biden has two masters degrees and earned her doctorate in 2007, AFTER she got her two masters. She earned her degrees at the University of Delaware, West Chester University and Villanova University. I respect anyone who earns a degree. I especially respect those who stayed beyond the initial four years to become a doctor or a lawyer…OK, maybe a little less respect for the lawyers. Hell, I respect people who earn an associate degree after two years at a community college. I do not have a degree beyond high school so I respect that.

Fun Fact: Dr. Jill Biden has more degrees than Tucker Carlson and Joseph Epstein combined.

Some have said Biden’s doctorate is honorary. No. An honorary doctorate is what a school gives you, without you taking any classes, to honor you. You don’t need matriculation, attendance, credits, etc. Joseph Epstein actually has one of those. Usually, they’re given to someone who speaks to a graduating class. Those people probably should not call themselves “doctors.” But if you go to school for many years, study very hard, and earn a doctorate, call yourself “doctor.” You deserve it. Why would anyone have a problem with that?

Epstein’s attack is sexist. He never wrote a column for The Wall Street Journal before this calling for a man with a doctorate to stop using the “Dr.” title. He doesn’t have issues with Dr. Love from the rock band Kiss or the Muppet, Dr. Teeth, who doesn’t even have a degree but can probably cure your rock-n-roll pneumonia. He has no concern over Dr. J, the basketball player, or Dr. Dre, the rapper and music producer. But Dr. Jill Biden he has a problem with.

Gigot defended Epstein’s sexism by asking, “Why go to such lengths to highlight a single op-ed on a relatively minor issue?” If it’s so minor, then why did you run the op-ed?

He also wrote, “Mrs. Biden is now America’s most prominent doctorate holder and is taking a leading role in education policy. She can’t be off-limits for commentary.” That’s a trick conservatives do. You take the criticism you’re receiving and you lie about that. It’s like saying liberals accused Trump of winning in 2016 with voter fraud when the truth is, liberals were upset over Russian election meddling during the campaign, not with the ballots or accusations of voter fraud. Here, no one is saying you can’t criticize Dr. Jill Biden. What we’re saying is, wait until you have something to criticize. Gigot described this himself as a “relatively minor issue.” So with it being so minor of an issue, why attack her for it? Hmmmmmmmm?

In Epstein’s column, he humorously refers to Dr. Jill Biden as “kiddo.” Gigot defends this by saying it’s OK because Dr. Jill Biden’s husband calls her “kiddo.” He may also call her “baby,” “darling”, or “honey bunches sugar of oats,” but that doesn’t mean you can call her any of those.

I have a better idea: Instead of calling her “kiddo,” when you need to address her, call her “Dr.” That’s Dr. Jill Biden. Better get used to it because you’re going to be hearing it a lot over the next four years because Dr. Jill Biden’s husband, Mr. President-Elect Joe Biden, won the election by defeating Loser Donald Trump and is the next president of the United States.

Republicans better get used to hearing President Joe Biden as well as Dr. Jill Biden. And if you remain butthurt over it, call a doctor.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (17 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Sycophant of the Year


cjones12142020

After failing at saving Donald Trump’s presidency by bringing a bogus bullshit lawsuit to the Supreme Court, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is running out of options to pander for that pardon.

Paxton’s lawsuit was ridiculous and it wasn’t even put together very well. It made lame arguments and contained false information that could have been easily checked. Yet, Paxton went ahead with degrading himself and his office in the name of all that is Trump. And 17 other state attorneys general joined his stupid ass…as well as 126 Republicans in the United States House of Representatives.

On Monday, those House Republicans will attempt another stab at stealing an election and defiling democracy. These people aren’t serving their nation. They’re not serving the Constitution. They’re serving a cult. And the worst part is, it’s a stupid cult of personality. I will never understand the public degrading of oneself for someone who’s not at least charming, intelligent, good looking, or even a decent speaker. Donald Trump is not Elvis. You would think they’d follow someone who was at least literate.

So, how upset will these seditious goobers be at Time Magazine for not selecting Donald Trump as Person of the Year? I’ve already heard grumbling and even seen one conservative political cartoon expressing bitterness. Quite frankly, I wasn’t expecting Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to get the honor. In 2020, the year of covid, I thought First Responders had it in the bag.

It is kinda funny that these people who want Trump to be Time’s person of the year, including Donald Trump, don’t read news magazines. Donald Trump has never read an issue of Time, but he has had staffers create fake covers of Time with him on it to hang in his shitty bedbug-infested golf resorts.

As for Ken Paxton, he may be the sycophant of the year, but he has a lot of cultists to compete against. But if he really wants to be assured of that pardon, he may have to change his last name to “Trump.” Don’t put it past him.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Grifty Inauguration


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

Once again, I forgot to blog my CNN cartoon. This ran in last week’s newsletter. But, this particular cartoon will remain topical until Joe Biden’s inauguration. You know, it’ll be Joe Biden’s inauguration because he won the election…and Donald Trump lost.

Weeks before the election, I asked a colleague, “What if Trump doesn’t attend the inauguration?” My colleague said, “Who cares?”

And that’s it. Who cares? It doesn’t matter, or at least it shouldn’t, that Trump won’t attend the inauguration and will probably conduct a fundraiser at the exact same time. It shouldn’t matter to the rule of law if Donald Trump never concedes and claims until the end of time he won when he didn’t. It shouldn’t even matter if Donald Trump hasn’t started packing yet.

The only thing that matters is that Donald Trump and Republicans are continuing to incite division, and in a lot of cases to come, violence. Donald Trump tried to invalidate his predecessor and now he’s doing it to his successor.

Donald Trump ran a campaign on hate. His political career started with hate by championing the birther movement, that President Obama was born in Kenya and was ineligible for the presidency. He started his presidential campaign on hate with his “build the wall” bullshit and calling Mexicans “rapists and murderers.” He conducted his entire presidency on hate, defending and retweeting Nazis and throwing brown babies in jail when his policies weren’t killing them. Now, he’ll continue to fundraise on hate…and lies.

Donald Trump lost. That’s the truth. The courts know it. You do too. But Donald Trump will continue to use the lie he won and that he’s the most persecuted person in the history of people to grift.

Creative note: I first drew the crowd without facemasks. And even though this is for CNN, I sometimes shoot these to my two daily proofreaders, Hillary and Laura. And it was Laura who said, “shouldn’t they be wearing facemasks. I could have gotten away with not redrawing every face and letting it fly as is, but it would’ve haunted me. And at that moment early into a Friday evening, I was so glad to be done and could have dinner while watching the Mandalorian. It’s all I wanted to do…but I had to go back and redraw all the faces. And ya’ know, I like the way it turned out much better than the non-facemasks version. All that blue works for me.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Runs In The Family


cjones12062020

As we have all discovered over the past five years, and if you haven’t then you weren’t paying attention, Donald Trump projects.

The guy who had people chant “lock her up” at his hate rallies watched several of his friends be locked up. For others, he issued pardons. While accusing Joe and Hunter Biden of corruption in Ukraine, Trump and Rudy Giuliani were practicing corruption in Ukraine. All they could come up with were conspiracy theories accusing other people of what they were guilty of. Trump’s Ukraine actions made him an impeached president.

Naturally, an impeached president will pardon goons. Naturally, an impeached president only has goons as friends. If you are a friend of Donald Trump’s, you may want to reassess your life. If you work in his administration, you’ll have plenty of time after January 20 to reassess because it’s not like anyone’s going to hire you. Enjoy all those covid parties now because you’ll probably never be invited to a party ever again.

During the campaign, Trump and his people couldn’t shut up about Hunter Biden. He was the star of their convention. He was brought up at the debates. Donald Trump tried to paint the Bidens as corrupt and Joe as a bad father.

Here’s a question: If three out of five of your children go to prison, are you a bad father? That goes for pardons too. If three of your children…and a goon one of them married, all need pardons, you probably did something wrong. Naming the first one after your corrupt orange ass was a bad start. For the Trump family, issuing pardons is just another day of business. For the Trump family, corruption is the business.

Hunter Biden doesn’t need a pardon. Hunter Biden is not under investigation…not even by Trump’s Justice Department. Why? Because he didn’t do anything illegal. But Ivanka, often referred to as “Grifter Barbie,” had to answer questions in an investigation over the inauguration. That’s just warming up.

Why was Ivanka paid as an outside consultant to the Trump Organization while she was also employed by the Trump Organization? The payments were used as tax write offs for Donald Trump. Where is all that money donated to the Trump Inauguration, which Ivanka played a huge part in? What about all those patents granted to Ivanka in China? Ivanka also violated the Hatch Act by endorsing a product and campaigning for a presidential candidate while employed by the White House. A lot of government employees did that by the way.

How about all the foreign bailouts for her husband’s companies? Why did her husband lie again and again on his security clearance application? Why did he want a back channel to Russia? Why did he engage secretly with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, who ordered the murder of a Saudi journalist under U.S. protection? In 2018 alone, Ivanka and Jared made over $138 million from foreign businesses while they were government employees.

What all sorts of goonery has Don Jr. been sniffing up? Jr and Eric have continued to promote their father’s presidency for overseas business. The Republican National Committee spent $100,000 on copies of Jr’s horrible book. The boys have grifted the government by overcharging the Secret Service at Trump resorts. Eric’s wife and Jr’s screechy girlfriend are both receiving salaries from the Trump Campaign. What a bunch of fucking grifters.

So after a couple of years smearing Hunter Biden, it’s the Trump kids who are in discussion over receiving pardons…along with Rudy, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, and probably a few hundred more Trump goons. What I wonder, while others who don’t hold dirt on Trump may have to purchase their pardons, will the Trump kids’ pardons be Christmas gifts? I’m sure they’ll make excellent stocking stuffers.

The likes of Roger Stone doesn’t care about being seen as guilty and corrupt, but do the Trumps? Because, when you accept a pardon, you accept guilt. I guess they can make it work for them since Donald Trump has made being an impeached president kinda his thing. Being guilty, corrupt, and pardoned can be the Trump kids’ jam.

These are people who never accomplished anything on their own…ever. So with pardons, what’s one more thing to inherit?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Drippy With Bibi


cjones12012020

There is no law prohibiting the United States government from assassinating foreign leaders and officials. There is an executive order issued in the 1970s by President Gerald Ford that has been upheld by every American president except Donald Trump, though to be fair, Trump probably isn’t aware of it. But that order isn’t enough to stop our government from murdering people overseas. Have you see Osama bin Laden around lately?

In the 1980s, Reagan had our military bomb Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi’s tent. A tent. If he wasn’t the target, what did we think was in that tent threatening the United States? As it turns out, Gaddafi’s 6-month-old daughter was in the tent…or she wasn’t…or she wasn’t even his daughter. Information from the 1980s Libyan government is sketchier than a Rudy Giuliani Dildo-store-parking-lot press conference.

During our war with Iraq in 1990/1991, our second war with Iraq in 2003, and all the military strikes in between, our government never officially targeted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. But we did target his many houses, mansions, palaces, compounds…whatever you want to call them. The reasoning being given was that he may have been storing chemical weapons inside his homes, like you would keep weed killer in your garage. If one of those strikes had killed Saddam, then we could have said it was just a lucky coincidence. Even when we did catch him, we handed him over to a government we knew would kill him. There are western nations that refuse to hand over any prisoners to any nation if there is a possibility they will receive a death sentence.

Israel is not one of those nations either except they probably wouldn’t extradite anyone. They’d just kill them themselves. In fact, Israel had a practice of kidnapping people on foreign soil, dragging them back to Israel without the host nation being aware, conducting a trial of the suspect, then killing them. Do you know who else goes overseas and kidnaps people? North Korea and the United States. We took the leader of Panama and today, he’s rotting in a Florida prison. Hey, we didn’t kill him. North Korea just nabs people…or they murder them in airports on foreign soil.

To be fair, Israel wasn’t just grabbing ordinary civilians off the streets and throwing them into unmarked vans. They were grabbing Nazis hiding in South America. I am fine with going to Argentina and grabbing Nazis off the street and throwing them into unmarked vans then having them taken to Israel to stand trial. But to be honest, I don’t think anyone accused of being a Nazi is going to received a fair trial in Israel. If you were accused of being a Nazi, you wouldn’t any Jews on the jury except Stephen Miller.

That doesn’t make me anti-Israel…but people will say I am for this cartoon. Any time you criticize Israel, you’re often accused of being anti-Semitic. And our nation rarely criticizes Israel. The nation of Israel basically has a free pass with the U.S.

I’m criticizing Israel like I criticize the United States. What, am I anti-American now?

Foreign policy experts warn of our enemies engaging in bad behavior between the time of an American presidential election and a new administration taking over. Will Russia invade the rest of Ukraine? Will North Korea attack South Korea? Will Iranian-backed terrorists strike an embassy? Will South Korea unleash more anti-Trump TikTok videos? Will Canada increase imports of their cheese? Will the Prime Minister of Denmark laugh at pictures of Trump at his tiny desk? But…what happens when our allies take advantage of us during a presidential transition?

Last week, Mohsen Fakhrizadeh, who once led Iran’s military nuclear program when they had one, was assassinated. Who did it? Nobody has taken credit. And, neither Israel or the United states has issued a denial. There hasn’t even been an official, “Don’t look at me. I was at home washing my hair.”

Israel has been accused of assassinating Iranian scientist in the past. What would they have to gain by doing it now? It creates another headache on day one of President Joe Biden’s administration. Already, Iranians are burning pictures of Donald Trump and Joe Biden in the streets of Tehran. Biden isn’t even president yet but they’re extending blame to him. And if they think Israel did it, then why are they mad at us? Because we coddle Israel and support their actions like this. Hell, we probably paid for the bullets and explosives used in the act.

Iran is blaming Israel, but they know the United States has already killed one of their generals this year. So if they retaliate against us and it’s proven later we didn’t have anything to do with the killing of the scientist, Iran won’t lose any sleep over it. We’re still the Great Satan. If nothing else, we boasted about killing that general so I’m sure Donald Trump couldn’t have been silent over murdering an Iranian nuclear scientist.

Trump would have tweeted, “Best scientist murder ever. People are saying it’s nothing that’s ever been seen before. Obama never killed such important scientist. Sleepy Joe would have only sniffed the scientist’s hair.”

The other thing Israel gets out of this is that it hurts our negotiating position when we resume peace talks preventing Iran from having nuclear weapons. We had a deal and it was working. Donald Trump removed us without any reasoning other than catering to his right-wing base and Israel didn’t like the treaty. The treaty kept us out of war with Iran. Israel views a war between the United States and Iran in their best interest. The Israeli government will not mind us spilling our blood in their national interest.

And when it comes to dealing with the incoming administration, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has congratulated Joe Biden…we just don’t know what for.

Bibi tweeted, 12 hours after U.S. media called the election for Biden, “Congratulations @JoeBiden and @KamalaHarris. Joe, we’ve had a long & warm personal relationship for nearly 40 years, and I know you as a great friend of Israel. I look forward to working with both of you to further strengthen the special alliance between the U.S. and Israel.”

So, what did he congratulate them for? Netanyahu is playing it safe and parsing his words. He’s congratulating his old friend while not angering Donald Trump…which has to be one of the most ridiculous positions a foreign leader feels he has to take. It’s also cowardly. Wait until Bibi finds out his dogs are German Shepherds.

Shortly after the mysterious congratulatory tweet to Biden, Bibi tweeted a thank you to Donald Trump without mentioning the fact Trump is a loser who will be leaving the White House very soon.

Joe Biden has to come in and fix things Donald Trump has fucked up. He has to work on our immigration policies. He has to clean up a lot of bullshit funding for Trump’s racist border wall. He has to get us back into the Paris Climate Accords. He has to fix the treaty with Iran that made the world a safer place. He has to smack Putin around a little just so he knows his place. He has to remove us from Kim Jong Un’s butthole. He has to get our allies to stop laughing at us. He has to repair our relationship with NATO and show the world we favor our allies over dictators. And eventually, he has to declare Canadian cheese is not a threat to our national security. And now, he has to include crap Netanyahu is doing.

Israel may not be to blame…but they probably are. If they were a true ally, they would have waited until Joe Biden was in office. He wasn’t even receiving security briefings that president-elects usually receive. Those didn’t start until today. I predict Israel and Iran will be mentioned in every briefing Biden receives between now and the end of his presidency.

We give Israel over $3 billion a year. Unlike other nations where we give aid to in quarterly installments, we give our yearly donation to Israel all at once and at the beginning of the year. We give Israel more than we give to sub-Saharan Africa, Latin America, and the Caribbean combined. And when we give money to Israel, they turn around and put it into New York Federal Reserve so it can start earning interest immediately. We have to borrow to give Israel this money which means we spend over $100 million paying interest on it. And our aid to Egypt and Jordan is contingent upon their treaties with Israel. Our aid to the Palestinians is so they can rebuild their communities after Israel destroys them with weapons we paid for. Additionally, Israel can and has blocked our sales of weapons to other Middle East nations while selling weapons to China that can be used against us…and they do this without telling us.

And then, they murder top officials in nation’s hostile to the U.S, dragging us into their bullshit. And they’re our friends?

One thing President Joe Biden should do, which he won’t, is cut the amount of aid we give to Israel.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Turkey Coup Fail


cjones11262020

Donald Trump’s coup has failed.

Yesterday, the head of the General Services Administration, a low-profile agency that directs resources for stuff like government real estate and oh yeah…transition funds from one presidential administration to the next, announced it was approving the transition to the Biden administration.

After a presidential election when a new leader is elected, the GSA routinely releases funding to the new administration so there will be a smooth transition between the election and when the new president takes the oath of office in January. Although the head of the agency is appointed by the outgoing president, there’s usually no drama over this person doing their job. That was not the case this time.

Emily Murphy is the head of the General Services Administration. Emily Murphy has been described as a by-the-books administrator. Emily Murphy is a coward.

Joe Biden won the election 16 days ago. And even though Donald Trump was having a public hissy fit, hiding in his bunker except to play golf, refusing to answer reporters’ questions, throwing out conspiracy theories, issuing over 300 lying tweets since the election, losing over 30 legal challenges, inviting state Republican legislators to the White House to coerce them to reject their citizens votes, and having Rudy Giuliani hold press conferences outside dildo stores and icking all over the place, Emily Murphy could have approved the transition process to begin.

Even if by some bizarro-world situation where Trump flipped states and would remain president for the next four years (Brrr! I just got a chill), nothing would have been lost by preparing for a Biden presidency. No harm would have been done. If Joe Biden was receiving the same daily intelligence briefings as Donald Trump, it wouldn’t have been a risk to this nation.

When it comes to the security briefings, Joe Biden has been in positions previously where he received them. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would qualify for a security clearance without being president. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would actually read the briefing material. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not tweet or share classified information with Vladimir Putin. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not overrule the FBI and give security clearances to his daughter and son-in-law (who was trying to create a back channel with Russia and is in debt to Middle Eastern kingdoms).

Emily Murphy could have said, “I know Trump is going to be a big baby about this but I’m moving the process forward. It’s the right thing to do.” She could have done the right thing…but she didn’t. That will be her legacy. Imagine how she would have been remembered if she had done the right thing. You can only imagine it because Emily Murphy is a coward.

Emily Murphy released a statement saying, “I was never directly or indirectly pressured by any Executive Branch official — including those who work at the White House or GSA — with regard to the substance or timing of my decision.” Bullshit.

Emily Murphy is a coward and just like every Republican in Washington, she was afraid of angering Trump and his MAGAts. She claims she received death threats. I doubt Democrats were issuing those threats. She claimed even her pets received death threats. How do you claim you didn’t feel any pressure when people are threatening your dog?

Emily Murphy is a coward and she should have done her job in the first place. She shouldn’t have waited 16 days. She is just another Trump goon who put the cult before duty. Even though she was hired by Trump, she works for the citizens of the United States of America, not Donald Trump. She is paid by us, not Donald Trump. She should have done her job.

What Donald Trump did was put himself before the nation. He undermined our democracy. He told his supporters our election failed. He told his supporters they can’t trust democracy. He told our allies the president (sic) of the United States didn’t believe in democracy. He told our enemies the president (sic) of the United states didn’t believe in democracy. Donald Trump tried to remain president after losing an election. Donald Trump attempted a coup. Emily Murphy, like so many Republicans, enabled him.

Emily Murphy, you are not a hero. You are not brave. You are a failure and a sycophant of the cult. You’re no better than Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller, or Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin. And just like all the MAGAts Trump brought with him, I look forward to your dismissal after January 20.

Donald Trump is boasting he has delivered a vaccine to the coronavirus. He really didn’t have anything to do with that but still, his stonewalling the Biden transition endangers the distribution of the vaccine after he’s gone.

Donald Trump hasn’t just be trying to discredit the Biden administration. His actions were an attempt to make it fail. And if that means more Americans died, for Donald Trump, so be it. It’s not like he cared about Americans dying from the virus before the election. If more Americans die after Trump leaves office, even if it’s his fault, he can blame Biden and tweet about it.

Now, he’s going to pin a medal on himself for approving the transition. Donald Trump tweeted he told Murphy to release the transition funds while Murphy is saying she made the decision on her own. These people need to coordinate their bullshit.

Even If Murphy never did release the funds before January 20, it wouldn’t have stopped Joe Biden from becoming president. While Trump goons say the media doesn’t decide who wins elections, neither does the GSA or the president (sic). Joe Biden will be president on January 20 and there’s nothing Donald Trump or Emily Murphy can do about that. But, they’re still going to give the impression Donald Trump allowed it.

Prediction: Donald Trump will be praised by the Trump media and MAGAts for being a big boy and getting out of the way for Joe Biden. You’ll see. Geraldo Rivera wants to name the vaccine to the virus that Donald Trump allowed to kill over 250,000…after Donald Trump to “honor” him. That’s how these people are. We should NOT name any vaccine after Donald Trump. We have named the virus after him. He is the virus, not the cure.

If anyone’s the cure, it’s Joe Biden.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.