Qanon

Horny For The Inauguration


cjones01132021

Months ago, I was wondering if Donald Trump would attend the inauguration if he lost the election. I even brought it up to an editor who replied, “Who cares?”. This was before the election. Now, a lot of people do seem to care.

When I was thinking about it months ago, I didn’t factor in Trump refusing to accept the election results and spending months fighting in courts and lying about it. And while I have been worried over the past four years of Trump violence, and even violence if he lost the election, I definitely did not predict that Donald Trump would send terrorists to attack the capitol building of our government.

Donald Trump is not attending the 59th inauguration of an American president because he’s a whiny baby. But his attendance WAS important in that it would be a public display of a transfer of power…a willing transfer of power. Even though Donald Trump has finally conceded he won’t be president after January 20, he hasn’t conceded that he lost. His presence, even though awkward, uncomfortable, and totally unpleasant for everyone else attending, was kinda required. If nothing else, it would have been a display for the MAGA mob that this is how our government is supposed to work, even after the worst presidency in the history of all presidencies.

Now after the events of the past week, Donald Trump is not welcome. His announcement on Twitter, before he was banned, that he’s not attending was welcomed. Joe Biden doesn’t want him there. Nobody wants him there. In fact, he doesn’t deserve to be in attendance anymore than he deserves to be on Twitter. Donald Trump doesn’t deserve to be on that podium anymore than Osama bin Laden deserves to be on that podium, because they’re both terrorists.

Osama bin Laden sent terrorists to attack Capitol Hill…and so did Donald Trump. Only difference is, patriots thwarted bin Laden’s terrorists but Trump’s made it.

Trump also doesn’t deserve to be in OUR White House and the sooner he gets out, the better for the nation.

As for the horny guy who crashed into the capitol building, the Trump Cult initially claimed he was a member of Antifa breaking and entering into the building to make the MAGA mob look bad. It was part of their confusing messaging of it wasn’t them and they’d never do such a horrible thing while saying it was patriotic. Trying to understand MAGAt reasoning can give you a brain injury.

Of course, the guy is not a member of Antifa (nobody is because Antifa doesn’t exist). What he is is a right-wing terrorist and a member of the Qanon conspiracy cult. He’s from Arizona and his name is Jake Angeli. He’s an actor you will never see in anything. He is sometimes referred to as the “Qanon Shaman,” whatever the hell that’s supposed to be. Despite the lie being spread by the likes of Sarah Palin and Matt Gaetz that he was a member of Antifa and Black Lives Matter, he’s been spotted at several Trump rallies, once with a sign reading, “Q sent me.” There’s also a photo of him with Rudy Giuliani.

Someone on social media posted, “We spend over $750 billion annually on defense, and the center of American government fell in two hours to Duck Dynasty and the guy in the Chewbacca bikini.”

Note: I’m going to be asked why I didn’t include the sippy cup. Sometimes I forget and others times, it doesn’t fit. This time, I didn’t include it because I liked the posture in the cartoon and having his arm in another position would have messed that up. The sippy cup has become such a thing now that I felt I needed to make a note about why it’s not there.

Update: Jacob Anthony Chansley is the Qanon Shaman, Jake Angeli. He was arrested yesterday and charged with entering restricted grounds and disrupting Capitol business in Washington. As more witnesses come forward, his charges will probably increase. The idiot was identified by his tattoos and pictures of the attack he posted on social media. Even the al Qaida hijackers didn’t take selfies on the planes. He told the FBI he came as a part of a group effort with other “patriots” from Arizona at the request of the President (sic) that all “patriots” come to D.C. on January 6, 2021. So, he just made himself a witness in Trump’s prosecution.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Needles And Trust


cjones12192020

When it’s my turn to take the vaccine for the coronavirus, I’m taking it. Granted, I probably won’t be able to until next summer when it’s available at CVS for the general public with an appointment, but I’m still taking it. Even though I had the coronavirus and antibodies may stay with me for a while, there’s no guarantee I can’t catch it again. I’m not invincible like some who had it believe, like Rand Paul and Donald Trump. Plus, scientists say you should get it even if you had the virus.

Polls show 71% of Americans are willing to take the vaccine. Black Americans willing to take it currently stands at 62% which is an increase from three months ago when it was at 50%. Politically, 86% of Democrats are willing to take the vaccine and Republicans…only 56% of them are willing to take the vaccine. Why?

Why do Republicans (white people) mistrust the vaccine more than black Americans? Why do some black Americans mistrust the vaccine at all? Black Americans have a good reason. White Republicans (I know. Redundant), do not.

From 1932 to 1973, the U.S. government, along with Tuskegee University, conducted a study of the effects of syphilis in black men. They told the men they were receiving free health care. That was a lie. The government was studying the effect of syphilis being untreated in black men with some of them only receiving a free lunch. Oh, look. All your shit just fell off. Here, have a sandwich.

The men were not told about the study. The government finally came clean only after being caught by the free press (which is why we want a free press), and during the 90s, President Bill Clinton formally apologized on behalf of the United States.

So today, when the government shows up with a vaccine and a needle saying, “Trust us,” you can’t blame black people for being a little wary. I guarantee you the black Americans willing to take the virus have done their research on it and aren’t just taking it nilly-willy, because there have been times in our history that after trusting the government to handle their health, willies fell off.

So, why do white conservatives fear the virus? Is it because of 400 years of being enslaved by the government? No. Is it after centuries of racism and being treated as second and third-class citizens? No. Was it because for decades, their right to vote was disenfranchised? No. Is it because racism against whites is still applied today in hiring, education, housing, economics, entertainment, and basically every fucking thing in this nation? No. None of that shit ever happened to whites, yet if you listen to a white conservative, they’re the most persecuted and victimized people in history. But, they often have to invent the persecution. For example, their lies and conspiracy theories being removed from a social media platform is persecution.

When it comes to the Tuskegee study on black men, I guarantee you that most white conservatives aren’t familiar with it. Why? Because it wasn’t a study on white men. White people, as a group, don’t care about stuff unless it happens to white people.

Are you familiar with the presidential daily briefings and the only way Trump can pay attention is if his name and photos of him are included? Yeah, white people are like that. Santa Claus is white. Barbie is white. Until recently…and still happening here and there, every movie based in the Middle East, Africa, or Asia had a white cast. It was only a few years ago that Emma Stone played an Asian. She’s a great actress and I love her, but she’s not Asian and doesn’t even look a tiny bit Asian, no matter how hard you squint. Why do they do that? Partly because of racism but mostly because white people won’t watch a movie without white people…and mostly about racism. Even white churches have white Jesus. Pay attention! Look, we have a white Jesus!!!

When Black Panther came out, black Americans finally had a superhero in a major universal movie that looked like them. Most critics and Marvel fans put it within the top three of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) movies. White conservatives say it’s worse than the Hulk movies, which is a white guy turning into a green guy.

So what from the past makes white conservatives so distrustful of the vaccine? I heard some say we can’t trust it because it was developed so fast, which is contradictory to them giving Donald Trump all the credit for it being developed so fast. Some are skeptical because the flu vaccine, which we’ve been taking in one form or another since the 1940s while the government was also forcing black men to live with syphilis, is only about 50% effective while the coronavirus vaccine has a 94% efficacy rate in testing. We talked about the difference between “effective” and “efficacy” earlier in the week. I even saw a post this morning saying we can’t trust Pfizer because they can’t count the number of doses accurately in a vial.

But, the biggest reason white conservatives don’t trust the vaccine is because they’re fucking nuts. They’re all paranoid schizophrenics who would rather believe in conspiracy theories than facts. Currently, 82% of Trump voters think the election was a scam, rigged, a total sham and Donald Trump was robbed and he’ll remain president after the inauguration on January 20. That’s 82% of an entire major political party believing a lying president (sic) without any evidence to support his lies…despite the information being readily available.

But white people are always persecuted…even if they have to make it up. Take the War on Christmas. Fun fact: There has NEVER been a war on Christmas. White people scream and moan if Starbucks doesn’t put Jesus on a coffee cup. Starbucks should put black Jesus on a cup and see what happens.

On an episode of Black Jeopardy, a popular sketch on Saturday Night Live where black contestants compete, Tom Hanks plays Doug, a Trump-supporting contestant. The sketch points out how remarkable it is that white conservatives and back people share a distrust of the government and corporate America while also sharing a love for Tyler Perry movies. In the category, “They Out Here Saying,” the answer was, “They out here saying, ‘The new iPhone wants your thumbprint ‘for your protection.'” Doug answers correctly with the question, “What is, ‘I don’t think so. That’s how they get ya.'” He follows up with, “I read that goes straight to the government.”

He later gives the correct question, “C’mon, they already decided who wins before it happens” to the answer, “They out here saying, ‘every vote counts.'” But for black Americans, their votes historically didn’t count because they weren’t allowed to vote. Republicans are still disenfranchising their votes. White conservatives they believe their vote didn’t count because they’re sore losers. Fortunately for Doug, the skit ended right as they got to the category, “Lives That Matter.”

Many of the white people who distrust the vaccine are the same people who believe the government is operated by a deep state of Satan-worshipping reptilian cannibalistic pedophiles. They believe that’s the swamp Donald Trump is draining despite hiring his own family members to run the government. They also keep adding new additions to the swamp, like Christopher Krebs, William Barr, and three Supreme Court justices, people Donald Trump hired.

A black person might tell you they don’t trust the vaccine because of the government’s past. A white person might tell you they don’t trust the vaccine because it’ll give you autism, cancer, make you sterile, and implant a chip inside you that’s a tracking device. Seriously.

Mike Pence is going to publicly take the vaccine. Donald Trump, without publicly subscribing to the conspiracy theories, is not going to publicly take the vaccine…and they’re saying he won’t take it at all.

Here’s my distrust of the government: Donald Trump will take the vaccine, but he won’t let you know because he doesn’t want to upset his base of fucknuts. Donald Trump needs his base to remain crazy and believing in conspiracy theories. If they can keep believing the vaccine will plant a tracking device inside you and that baby-eating lizard people are running the government, then they’ll believe any crazy shit Donald Trump tells them. And when it comes to white people being victimized, Donald Trump is the most victimized and unfairly treated person in the universe. Never mind the fact he’s a billionaire who lived in a golden penthouse. White conservatives are the biggest believers in crazy shit…then acting on their crazy beliefs.

Who shot a rifle at a pizza parlor believing Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring in the basement? A white guy. Who shot up an abortion clinic in Colorado Springs, killing several, because he believed they were selling aborted baby body parts? A white guy. Who kidnaped an air conditioning repair man last week and held him hostage for several days because he thought the guy was hauling illegal ballots? A white guy. Who wanted to kidnap the female of governor of Michigan because she was destroying their “freedom?” A bunch of white guys. Who wrote that Kars-For-Kids jingle? A white guy! Which group is the number one terrorist threat in this nation? White men, specifically, white supremacists.

We’ve come a long way since the Tuskegee Study. It’s right to have questions, but don’t be a nut about it. Do your part for your country, your community, your family, and take the vaccine. Don’t be like a Trump supporter. Don’t be a MAGAt. These are people you really don’t want to have anything in common with.

And because of these people, the Dougs, we need as many of us as possible who are rational to take the vaccine. The more people who take it, the less the virus can spread. Do your part. Social distance, stay home, wear a facemask, and take the vaccine.

If you don’t, I’m sending the lizard people. They know how to get ya.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (16 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

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Deep-State Voter Fraud


cjones11212020

What’s dumber than believing Donald Trump won the election or that there’s a deep-state cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic lizard people running the government? Believing you can trust Donald Trump to work out a fair payment AFTER you perform a service for him.

Donald Trump has been sued numerous times by contractors for refusing to pay the price he agreed to in a contract. He’s even been sued by the lawyers who represented him in these disputes for non payments. So now Rudy Giuliani is publicly embarrassing himself for a price to be determined later.

Rudy is Trump’s lead legal fucknut in trying to steal the election from Joe Biden. In doing so, he has to present a case of total bullshit and conspiracy theories. Yesterday, Rudy argued a case in Pennsylvania and told the judge he wasn’t accusing anyone of voter fraud…and then blamed it all on voter fraud. He must have thought he was on Hannity.

There are reports that Rudy is charging $20,000 a day to represent Donald Trump in this attempt to steal the election. Rudy says those reports are lies…and you know how we can always trust Rudy to tell the truth. Rudy says they’ll work out a price after they’re done stealing the election and Donald Trump begins his second term.

Is Donald Trump stupid? Yes, he is, but he’s not dumb enough to pay Rudy $20,000 a day of his own money. His supporters are paying Rudy.

There’s only one thing dumber than voting for Donald Trump and that’s giving money to elect Donald Trump. His grifting is on public record. He publicly cried for an international summit to be given to one of his shitty golf resorts. A court has barred him and three of his shitty kids from participating with any charitable organizations in New York state because he stole from his own charity. Most people would go to prison for something like that. As president (sic), Donald Trump has directed millions of dollars of taxpayer money into his businesses. On top of all that, his campaign conducts events at his resorts where the Trump Campaign pays a fee to Donald Trump.

Giving money to support Donald Trump is like buying a new watch for the guy who stole your watch. So if you’re still giving money to the Trump Campaign, you’re giving it to Donald Trump. And if you’re dumb enough to give Trump money…are you dumb enough to believe a second Trump term will be saved by Rudy Giuliani, the guy who got scammed by Borat?

Part of this entire bullshit propaganda of Trump really winning the election and having it stolen by Democrats is to steal the election from Joe Biden. Another reason is to destroy faith in the government that takes over in January and make Joe Biden fail. But perhaps the greatest reason for this scam is that the Trump Campaign is still raising money for it.

But this time, it’s not going to a legal fight as much as it’s paying off campaign debt…and going into Donald Trump’s pockets. Maybe Trump will put the cash into his secret Chinese bank account or maybe he’ll put it towards the $500 million or so he owes to shady mystery creditors (probably Russians). Or maybe he’ll band use to pay off a real lawyer to help Rudy out the next time he tries to lure a teenage girl into a Manhattan hotel room supposedly for drinks while his hand is down his pants.

What’s almost just as crazy as believing Donald Trump will pay you later…or that Rudy Giuliani should lead your legal defense, is believing the election was stolen from Donald Trump.

70% of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election and it’s being stolen by Democrats. And just like they didn’t have proof when a majority believed President Obama was born in Kenya, they don’t have any proof of massive voter fraud.

But hey, Republicans don’t need proof for bullshit. Ask Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, or Donald Trump. And now with members of Qanon actually being elected to the United States Congress, anything goes.

Republicans don’t have any relationship with the truth. At this time, only four Republican senators have accepted that Joe Biden has won the election. Two Republicans senators are screaming for the secretary of state of Georgia to resign because he counted more votes for Biden than for Trump. Another senator has called the same secretary of state suggesting he throw out votes for Biden. You know, votes cast by black people.

Republicans don’t have integrity, don’t care about democracy, and don’t care about the truth. Don’t believe me? Let’s go grab dinner at Comet Pizza and ask them about it. Actually, I’m joking. I’d never have dinner with a Republican. I can’t eat while looking at you people.

Here’s a fact: Donald Trump will not be president after noon on January 20, 2021. Why? Because of the fact Joe Biden beat his ass in the presidential election. Donald Trump lost the election fair and square and there’s not enough Rudy bullshit in the world to change that fact.

Here’s an unfortunate fact: All these idiots who would rather believe in conspiracy theories about voter fraud, lizard people, devil worshippers, or Democratic pedophilic pizza makers, will still be around after Donald Trump is gone.

Another fun fact: Fuck COVID. I’m not going anywhere either.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Crazy Uncle


CNN10182020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

When I threw this idea at my editor, I didn’t know Mary Trump had actually spoken up that Donald Trump was truly someone’s “crazy uncle.” Or maybe she hadn’t done that before I wrote this cartoon. I don’t know. I found out when I had my proofreader read this, and she told me.

Moderator of the Trump town hall, Savannah Guthrie, asked Donald Trump why he kept retweeting insane conspiracy theories. She pointed out that Donald Trump is the president (sic) of the United States. Not someone’s crazy uncle.

Donald Trump is a crazy uncle. Mary Trump does not have a choice in that. We can’t choose our families. All we can do is to choose to avoid toxic people, even when they’re our family.

Mary Trump does not have a choice in Donald Trump being her crazy uncle. She’s stuck with him. But we’re not.

We all get to choose whether we have crazy Donald Trump as a part of our lives. Quite frankly, I don’t need a crazy uncle. I have enough insane people in my family, thank you.

Mary, you’re stuck with him but I chose to ditch this crazy uncle (I already voted). I’m looking forward to the rest of the country doing the same.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Flock Together


cjones10202020

NBC’s Savannah Guthrie did a commendable job Thursday night pushing back on Donald Trump’s crazy. Most journalists who have come face-to-face with Donald Trump have failed to push back as much as Ms. Guthrie did. But to be fair, Donald Trump is hard to talk over and there’s usually more crazy than any one journalist can cover in one setting.

Let’s go over Donald Trump’s refusal to condemn Qanon, the insane cult that’s made up of racists and potential terrorists.

Qanon is a cult that has sprouted up online. The followers believe in this guy named Q, who goes to their forums and tells them what’s really happening in our federal government. Q is supposed to be a deep state insider with connections. Without any evidence, Qanon followers believe this. And without any evidence, they believe the federal government is run by a cabal of Satanic worshipping cannibalistic pedophile Democrats…and Donald Trump is the savior who’s going to put an end to all of it. As ridiculous as all that sounds, they truly believe it. They go to his rallies with signs saying, “I’m Q.”

Qanon is where Pizzagate came from. Because of these insane conspiracy theories, a fucked up goober went to Washington, DC and shot into a pizza parlor. Why? Because Q said Hillary Clinton and other deep state Democrats were operating a child sex slave ring from within the parlor’s basement. There were no Democrats, no child slaves, no pedophilia, and not even a basement. There was only pizza and ping pongs. Seriously, the place has ping pong tables. It’s cool.

But, the gun fucker still shot into the place. Fortunately, no one was wounded. And to this day, Qanon followers still believe there’s a child sex slave operation going on inside the parlor’s basement run by Hillary Clinton.

And get this: All of this came from one of the emails leaked by Wikileaks to help the 2016 Trump campaign in which one Democrat wrote to another, “hey, let’s get a pizza sometime.”

The FBI believes Qanon poses a terrorism threat when it’s actually led to terrorism. The attack on Comet Ping Pong Pizza was terrorism. The Pittsburgh synagogue shooting that killed 11 people has connections to Qanon. A California bomb maker made references to Qanon, Pizzagate, and the New World Order. Many of the Q fuckers also believe the Deep State is full of lizard people. Seriously.

Kids, here’s a reminder: These people are terrorists, even if they’re white.

So, on Thursday night, when given an opportunity to call them out for their racism, crazy theories, or just that he doesn’t believe in their bullshit, Donald Trump refused. In fact, Donald Trump retweets their crazy shit.

Donald Trump’s most recent retweet of Q is that Navy Seals didn’t kill bin Laden but instead, got his body double. Donald Trump, the president (sic) of the United States retweets this shit despite having access to the best information in the world.

If Osama bin Laden was still alive, we’d all know it because Donald Trump would have set up a summit and a photo-op with him.

Donald Trump told Savannah Guthrie he couldn’t call them out because he wasn’t that familiar with them other than they like him and they don’t like pedophiles (which is living in Oppositeland). Then, he defended their fight against pedophilia.

Kids, spreading crazy conspiracy theories is NOT fighting pedophilia. Can someone name one pedophile stopped by Qanon followers? Instead, they believe champion against pedophilia is Mr. Pussy Grabber who’s been accused of rape and has admitted to barging into teenage beauty contestants’ dressing rooms and says about preteens, “Hey, I’ll be dating her in a few years.” Their savior is the guy who talks about dating his daughter.

Savannah told Trump who Qanon is. She told him about the deep state Democrats and the pedophile beliefs. He still refused to call them out. But in doing so, he also didn’t state that he DOES NOT believe Democrats are a bunch of cannibalistic Satanic pedophiles. Did anyone else besides myself catch that?

He couldn’t even give the fake defense of, “I don’t know if they actually believe that, but I can tell you I don’t.” Nope. He let it linger. And just like he gave the Proud Boys a call out, he gave Qanon one too. He refused to debunk their crazy shit.

While saying he doesn’t know who Qanon is, keep in mind, he’s retweeted them over 200 times. He knows who they are. Trump says it’s “someone’s opinion” and he’s just putting it out there. Kids, retweets are ALWAYS endorsements. He’s not retweeting “Antifa” or Black Lives Matter.

In fact, when asked about Qanon, he said he doesn’t know who they are but he knows all about Antifa and Black Lives Matter and their “burning down Democratic-run cities.” Here’s where Savannah missed one chance to push back and could have asked if he knows about Michigan terrorists who plot to kidnap Democratic governors. Do you know how many people Antifa and Black Lives Matter have killed? Zero. Do you know how many people Donald Trump supporters have killed? Go ask Kyle Rittenhouse.

Donald Trump isn’t just giving credibility to crazy conspiracy theorists and assorted Nazis. In his retweets, shout-outs, and denials, he’s recruiting terrorists.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Eat Your Conspiracy


cjones03112019

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen testified before the Democrat-controlled House Homeland Security Committee yesterday and insisted that the cages Customs and Border Protection (CBP) used to detain migrant and asylum-seeking kids aren’t really cages.

She told Committee Chair Bennie Thompson, “Sir, they are not cages, they are areas of the border facility that are carved out for the safety and protection of those who remain there while they’re being processed.”

Democrat Bonnie Watson Coleman asked Nielsen, “Does it differ from the cages you put your dogs in when you let them stay outside?” Nielsen answered, “Yes … it’s larger, it has facilities, it provides room to sit, to stand, to lay down…” Coleman interjected, “So does my dog’s cage.”

Nielsen kept arguing throughout the hearing that children who have been separated and lost under Trump’s dehumanizing immigration policies are not kept in cages…if we don’t call them cages.

Last year, more than 2,700 children were separated from their parents and detained by CBP with many parents deported without their children. Democrats and liberals are outraged. Trump supporters are also outraged over issues involving children, but not over any issues that actually exist. Like Trump’s call for a border wall, they’re crying about crises where there aren’t any.

If you watched any of the Conservative Political Action Conference, you would have heard the wingnuts scream about “infanticide” and the “culture of death,” which are their new talking points.

Speaking to CPAC, Mike Pence said, “With Democrats standing for late-term abortion and infanticide and a culture of death, I promise you this president, this party and this movement will always stand for the unborn.” You have probably seen similar rants on your tinfoil hat-wearing uncle’s Facebook page.

Senate Republicans failed to advance a bill last week called the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act. Basically, if it had become law, it would have forced doctors to “preserve the life and health” of a child born alive after an abortion attempt, regardless of the wishes of the parents.

Dr. Daniel Grossman, a professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences at the University of California, San Francisco, told The New York Times that an infant being born alive after an attempted abortion is extremely rare. Dr. Kristyn Brandi, a board member of Physicians for Reproductive Health, told Vox that she’d never even heard of such a case. She said, “This is a part of the false narrative around this bill and abortion later in pregnancy.”

One of the ways this can occur is if a condition threatens the life of both the mother and the fetus, and labor must be induced in order to save the mother’s life. It’s unlikely the infant would survive, but this bill would have forced a doctor to attempt to revive the child or face up to five years in prison.

Immigrant children separated from their families, kept in cages, and lost in the system, Republicans don’t worry about that so much. Extremely rare cases of a child being born alive after an abortion attempt to save the mother’s life? Republicans are outraged. While they scream “infanticide,” nobody is killing the baby who was born alive. That’s just as big of a lie as claiming Democrats are eating babies.

According to a new book on Amazon’s best-seller list, Democrats are eating babies. Democrats, dingos, what’s the difference?

QAnon is this thing that started on the extreme fringes of the dark web in places like 4chan, and quickly spread to Youtube, Reddit, Twitter, and Facebook.

QAnon is a far-right conspiracy alleging a plot against Trump by the “deep state.” Q, who may be or several individuals, claims to be on the inside of the government and thousands of people believe this. Some of those people are Roseanne Barr, Alex Jones, and Jerome Corsi. Sean Hannity has even shared QAnon-related material on his Twitter account.

The book QAnon: An Invitation to the Great Awakening was supposedly written by 12 anonymous members of the group promoting the theory, and presents their ideas in what one customer review calls “a gentle way for uninformed ‘normies’ to find out what is really going on within the political class that have been ruling over us for decades.”

What are some of their ideas? The “deep state” involves President Obama and Hillary Clinton. Trump and Robert Mueller are actually working together and the Russiagate investigation is actually a ruse. Hillary Clinton is the leader of a Satanic cabal that feeds on the blood of children and profits off sex trafficking. And, Democrats eat babies. Yum. Those theories are almost as unbelievable as believing that Trump supporters read books.

It’s very easy to laugh at these people, and a lot of fun I might add. But, it’s dangerous to ignore them. One Q follower was arrested on terrorism charges after he drove an armored vehicle containing an AR-15, and blocking traffic on the Hoover Dam for 90 minutes. He was on a mission from Q to demand the Justice Department release the OIG report on the conduct of FBI agents during the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s server. The thing is, the OIG report had been released the day before, but he was demanding that they release the “real” one.

Members of the Q community have posted photos of Michael Avenatti’s office. Later, someone shared the picture of an as-of-yet unidentified man, appearing to be holding a cellphone in one hand, and a long, thin object in the other, standing in the street near the office, adding that a message “had been sent.” For what it’s worth, one of these nitwits posted a photo of what he/she thought was my house on a Facebook post. Shitweasels find that kind of stuff amusing.

In 2016, 4chan users spread a theory that Hillary Clinton was operating a child sex ring from the basement of Comet Ping Pong pizza parlor in Washington, DC. In December of that year, a North Carolina fucknut drove to the pizza parlor and fired three shots into Comet Ping Pong, fortunately without injuring anyone. He didn’t find any child sex slaves. He didn’t even find a basement. Do you know what was inside Comet Ping Pong’s pizza parlor? Pizza.

In 2015, a shooter went to an abortion clinic in Colorado Springs and killed three people because he believed the now debunked far-right videos that Planned Parenthood was selling dead-baby-body parts. And that conspiracy theory isn’t even on the fringe as several presidential candidates promoted the lie.

These people don’t care about children. They scream about abortion but they don’t care about a child after it’s alive. They sure don’t care about housing or feeding them. They definitely don’t care if Donald Trump throws them into cages. They would rather freak out about imagined issues than real ones because you don’t have to solve the fake ones. Plus, if it’s bullshit then you don’t have to know what you’re talking about.

These 4chan and QAnon people are unstable which seems to be a trait among Trump supporters…and Trump.

Trump is hate and he has a more than willing base that eats it up. For the rest of us, we have to live in a dangerous climate they’ve created.

Planned Parenthood is not selling the body parts of dead babies. Comet Ping Pong is not the base of a child-sex ring operated by Hillary Clinton. Democrats are not eating babies. Donald Trump is keeping children in cages. Which one are you more concerned with?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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A Star Is Scorned


cjones08122018

Donald Trump is a horrible person who nobody likes except racists and people OK with racists.

As a reminder that Donald Trump was a celebrity contributing nothing meaningful to society before he was a politician contributing nothing meaningful to society, he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

A testament to the public’s animosity toward Trump has been expressed on his star (which he paid $30,000 to have installed, which probably came from the Trump Foundation). Some people kick and spit on it, dogs have been allowed to relieve themselves on it, stickers have been placed on it, someone built a tiny wall around it, and it’s been spray painted, once with a Swastika (though to be fair, that may have been a supporter). Most recently, a man, described by a witness as “going to town on it,” destroyed it with a pickax. That individual has been charged, released on a $20,000 bail, and faces up to three years in prison. With charges like that you’d think he was a member of the Trump Campaign.

The city of West Hollywood decided that having a star for Trump was a bad idea and voted unanimously in a non-binding resolution to have it removed. It’s non-binding because they don’t have jurisdiction over the star. That belongs to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce.

The Chamber released a statement that they have no plans to remove Trump’s star and that once a star is added it’s considered a part of the “historic fabric of the Hollywood Walk of Fame.” I suggest some people walk their dogs by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce and show them how they feel about this.

Mark Hamill has a great idea. He suggests replacing the president with a princess. Princess Leia that is, as Carrie Fisher doesn’t have a star on the Walk of Fame. What? How can this be? This can’t be allowed to continue. She should have had a star light years ago, and having hers replace Trump’s would be galactic justice.

As her friend and writer Paul Slansky said, she would have loved being the face of The Resistance.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Media Accosted


cjones08062018

Donald Trump took his traveling freak show to Tampa Tuesday night and it was a coming out party for the worst of us.

He continued his war against the media, where he’s labeled them in the past as scum, dishonest, terrible people, bad actors, liars, fake news, and even the enemy of the American people. During the presidential campaign, he would single out MSNBC’s Katy Tur at rallies to the point she would need security to get out of the building without being harmed. In case you haven’t noticed yet, Donald Trump is a bully.

Another one of his favorite targets is Jim Acosta from CNN. On Tuesday, Acosta captured footage of Trump’s supporters screaming and cursing while flipping him off. Where do these people come from? They come from 4chan (and 8chan, which I just found existed. What the Hell is 8chan? A place for those who find 4chan a little too tolerant?).

4chan is a forum where right-wingers, racists, and conspiracy theorists can gather online and combine all their horrible traits into a wonderful and colorful cornucopia of duh. They call this group QAnon.

What is QAnon? They’re following someone named “Q,” who probably doesn’t exist or is a persona of multiple people, who claims to possess a top-level security clearance and evidence of a worldwide criminal conspiracy. It’s another deep-state conspiracy. In this one, Robert Mueller isn’t really investigating Trump. He’s targeting Hillary Clinton, President Obama and other members of the “deep state” like John Podesta and John McCain. The theories for why they’re being investigated range from being the real colluders with Vladimir Putin to being involved in a global pedophile ring that includes members of Hollywood’s A-list, like Tom Hanks.

Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t make this shit up.

Furthermore, they believe many of these individuals are wearing ankle bracelets for Mueller to track them and bring them into custody after Trump gives the order.

Maybe the “Q” comes from NyQuil, and they get their beliefs after downing several bottles of the stuff.

We can laugh at these people. We can find it highly amusing, and we do, because, “Ha-ha! They’re stupid!” But, we need to recognize the real danger in this Q thing.

It wasn’t that long ago that a conspiracy theorists, who got his information from some of the same sites as the Q-balls, went on a shooting spree at a Washington, D.C. pizza shop because he believed Hillary Clinton was operating a child-sex-slave ring out of the basement. The place doesn’t even have a basement, but I hear the pizza’s not bad. Unfortunately, most conspiracy theorists prefer Papa John’s.

In late July, a shooter killed five people at a Maryland newspaper. Trump paused for a few hours before he continued attacking the press because he’s classy like that.

This is dangerous because these people follow Donald Trump. Trump engages in conspiracy theories, and he loves to feed red meat to his base. In Tampa, QAnon signs were spotted as well as people waving some with “We Are Q,” and others wearing shirts with giant Q’s. I was most impressed so many Trump supporters didn’t misspell “Q.”

Wednesday, White House Spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders shared a conspiracy theory from the official WH podium to the media. If she is a member of the order, she’s not the only famous person. Roseanne Barr and Curt Schilling are members and have tweeted support and posted videos for the group on Facebook.

Trump tells his followers that they shouldn’t listen to the media and not to believe what they see and hear. That they should only listen to him. They’re listening. He’s also riling them up.

Jim Acosta described being at Tampa’s rally as “it felt like we weren’t in America anymore.” That didn’t even look 2018 to me. It more resembled Munich in 1923.

Sean Hannity piled on and lectured Acosta on how to do journalism which must be like getting a cooking lesson from Jeffrey Dahmer. Hannity said, “I’m actually going to give your network some advice, if you have an open mind and an open heart. The people of this country are screaming at you for a reason. They don’t like your unfair, abusively biased treatment of the president of the United States.”

No, Sean. They’re screaming at him because he is doing his job. If conspiracy theorists don’t like a journalist, then good on that journalist. But, why should any journalists listen to Hannity? Hannity doesn’t listen to them. He only listens to Trump.

Hannity is a conspiracy theorist and Fox News pays him around $20 million a year to go on their network at their most valuable hour to peddle bunk, not news. Do you remember the Seth Rich story? Hannity peddled that one until the brass at Fox told him to stop. He never corrected himself or apologized. What kind of news network puts on a conspiracy theorist taking his orders from Donald Trump? Fox News, that’s who.

Instead of defending journalists, facts, and information, Hannity stood up for the conspiracy crowd. What’s worrisome, since he has a direct line to him, is when the president will start publicly peddling these theories. Run, Forrest! Run!

Trump promises he’s going to make America great again. His supporters believe this while shouting and cursing at the press. They believe they’re the ones who will make America great again while they’re flipping a journalist off for doing his job and while signing autographs and taking pictures with children.

Being a troglodyte is not how you make America great. Neither is being a willfully uninformed, stupid, conspiracy-theory believing sycophant who can’t think for himself.

If this QAnon-Hooterville consortium of knuckle-dragging Neanderthals is making America great again, I’m not seeing it.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

Watch me draw.