Qanon

Conspiracy Circle


In 2016, a right-wing goon from North Carolina shot a gun into a pizza parlor in Washington, D.C. His motivation was the belief a Satanic deep state cabal led by Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton was operating a child sex slave ring out of a basement of the restaurant. This was the beginning of the conspiracy theory cult Qanon.

Qanon believes Donald Trump was on a mission to uncover and destroy that Satanic cult of deep state Democrats engaged in pedophilia. Some Qanon followers believe Democrats either eat the babies or drink their blood. Others believe the deep state consists of reptilian people.

Qanon also believe Donald Trump was actually behind the Mueller investigation into his collusion with Russia, and that Mueller was actually working for Trump in a public ruse to to conceal he was actually going after Democratic pedophiles. Robert Mueller is a Republican after all. How all this worked is beyond me.

Of course, all that sounds crazy, right? No child sex trafficking ring was discovered at the pizza shop. There was no deep state. No lizard people. No members working at the shop who were a part of the Clinton presidential campaign. The shop didn’t even have a basement. So anyone who believes the Satanic Democratic deep state child sex trafficking conspiracy theory is just a deranged lunatic on the fringe, right? Personally, I believe the entire Republican Party consists of deranged lunatics.

For the past two years, these deranged lunatics have been gaslighting Dr. Anthony Fauci to the point they can’t even remember why it started. Dr. Anthony Fauci is the leading expert on viruses in this nation. He fought tirelessly against the pandemic, trying to save as many lives as possible. Dr. Anthony Fauci is a national hero.

As new information on the coronavirus came in throughout the pandemic, the strategies to fight it changed. When it started, we were advised not to wear face masks. The rules on face masks and social distancing changed. This made very angry stupid people claim the government was lying and that paranoia should trump science. Dr. Anthony Fauci was hindered throughout the pandemic by Donald Trump, who was suggesting we combat the virus with aquarium cleaner, horse dewormer, and bleach. Republicans were listening to morons like Jeff Rogan over scientists like Dr. Fauci. Republicans soon claimed it was Fauci shutting the nation down, canceling schools, and killing american jobs and businesses, even though Dr. Fauci has no power to do any any of these things. This is not a belief by the lunatic fringe. It’s a common perception among the GOP.

A poll conducted last February found that a quarter of Republicans (in case you’re one of them, a quarter is 25 percent) believe Satan-worshipping pedophiles running a global sex-trafficking operation control the U.S. government, media and financial institutions. A quarter of Republicans believe a storm is coming to sweep away the elites and restore the rightful leader of the country. And, a quarter of Republicans believe true American patriots may have to resort to violence in order to save the country.

This is not Qanon. This is the Republican Party. Additionally, 16 percent of all Americans, 44 million people, believe this shit.

While Qanon is only seen favorably by 16 percent of Republicans according to another poll taken earlier this month, nearly half of mainstream Republicans believe Democrats are engaged in child sex trafficking rings. And 30 percent of Republicans believe the top Democratic elites of the party are involved in child sex trafficking rings.

Ironically, Donald Trump is on tape eyeballing a little girl and talking about dating her in ten years. Donald Trump endorsed an accused pedophile for the United States Senate. Republicans in Tennessee are trying to eliminate age requirements for marriage so grown men can marry little girls. And it seems every time a politician is found guilty of a sex crime with a child, he’s a Republican. Fun fact: No Democratic Speaker of the House has ever been sent to prison for raping a child.

And in case you’re wondering, a majority of Republicans believe Donald Trump is the legitimate president of the United States.

This shit stems from Republicans gaslighting during the hearings to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court to Florida goon Governor Ron DeSantis canceling Disney. This morning, I saw a political cartoon at GoComics pushing the believe that Disney is full of “groomers.” This cartoon is being distributed by a major newspaper syndicate and it’s not based on any facts. This wasn’t a Ben Garrison cartoon. It’s mainstream conservatism.

I too believe we have to fight to save our nation. I don’t mean physically. I mean we have to fight against disinformation. I believe we don’t just fight the liars, but call out those who are giving them a platform, from syndicates to newspapers to social media platforms.

I have two predictions: The number of Republicans believe lies will continue to increase, and there will be another violent attack based on these lies.

Creative note: I have to be on a train this morning for two cartoon events in Washington over the next two days, so I started this cartoon around 9 PM last night. Being the stupid guy I am, I kept adding details and sitting back thinking about what I could add next. The next thing I know, it’s six hours later. I went to bed around 3 AM and woke at 6:30 AM. I had some really weird dreams in that short time period after googling so many images on Satanic ceremonies.

Music Note: I was watching the Nevalny thing on CNN and listened to an assortment of music, including songs by Counting Crows, Pink, and The Shins.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Trump Judge


A federal judge this week struck down the Biden administration’s mandate that all passengers must wear face masks on planes and trains. It was nice while we had the virus on the run.

The requirement comes from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) stating “a person must wear a mask while boarding, disembarking, and traveling on any conveyance into or within the United States.” And if you’ve traveled in a plane or a train over the past two years, you know people can be real fucking babies about it.

On my last flight, from Denver to Washington, DC, a flight attendant asked a “gentleman” to pull his mask up from his chin to cover his mouth and nose. He whined, “But I have a beverage.” She told him he can pull the mask down when he takes a drink, not for the entire time he’s holding the drink in his hand, which was apparently the brilliant strategy he had put together to avoid wearing a face mask during a flight. He pulled his mask up while grumbling about it but he spent the rest of the flight with it down except whenever a flight attendant approached. He was told several more times to please pull his mask back up. Yes, he was a middle-aged white guy. Yes, he was an asshole.

Four airlines immediately rescinded their mask rules. Some passengers applauded and even threw their masks into the trash. But, they might want to keep those masks as the Biden administration is challenging the ruling. And if you threw away an N95, what, are you stupid? Those things are expensive. I left a brand new N95 in a Denver bathroom and I’m still kicking myself.

At the very least, we’ll stop hearing stories about unruly passengers refusing to wear a face mask, and we’ll start hearing stories of MAGAt passengers bullying other passengers for wearing a face mask. Ron DeSantis has made it popular to bully kids wearing face masks and Republicans LOVE Ron DeSantis because they love assholes. I’m wearing a facemask in my profile pics on Instagram and Truth Social (I’m still experimenting with it) and conservatives actually leave angry comments about it. There are often comments under my cartoons saying something like, “Of course, a mask wearer would create this shit.” It’s really divisive when it’s something that should be so simple. They say it’s a choice but scream at you when you make the choice to wear one. Also on Truth Social, my working for CNN is the second thing they scream about. “What? You work for CNN? You sonofabitch!!!!”

So, who made this ruling that the CDC can’t mandate wearing face masks for traveling? It came from Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle, a U.S. District Judge for the Middle District of Florida and a Trump appointee. This is a judge the American Bar Association (ABA) advised the Senate NOT to confirm. The ABA rated her as “Not Qualified.”

The ABA explained, “When a nominee is found ‘Not Qualified,’ the Committee has determined that the nominee does not meet the Committee’s standards with respect to one or more of its evaluation criteria – integrity, professional competence, or judicial temperament.”

The ABA determined Mizelle was “Not Qualified” because, “Since her admission to the bar, Ms. Mizelle has not tried a case, civil or criminal, as lead or co-counsel.”

Additionally, Mizelle had only been an attorney for eight years when Trump nominated her. The ABA’s Standing Committee on the Federal Judiciary states appointees should have practiced for a minimum of 12 years. In case you’re a Republican, eight is less than 12. Mizelle had five years of experience in the trial courts. The ABA noted that Mizelle’s lack of experience was “a rather marked departure from the 12-year minimum.” Mizelle was at a law firm where she didn’t even have enough experience to make partner, but yeah…let’s make her a federal judge with a lifetime appointment.

In 2017, The Trump administration (sic) notified the ABA that they didn’t want to play with them anymore. They decided not to share background information on their judicial nominees with the ABA anymore. The George W. Bush administration did the same thing as they also nominated their fair share of fucknuts to federal judgeships. But, both administrations still relied upon the Federalist Society’s judgment, of which Mizelle is a member.

Here’s another fun detail to Mizelle’s lifetime appointment to a federal court: Remember how Republicans didn’t believe a president should nominate a Supreme Court justice in an election year? They argued that the people should have a say in these lifetime appointments, so let’s wait until after the election. How about lower federal lifetime seats? Well, Senate Republicans did wait until after the election to confirm Mizelle as they confirmed her in November 2020 AFTER the election was called for Joe Biden. The people spoke and chose Joe Biden to be president. The people didn’t want Trump OR Republicans in the Senate anymore but yet, the GOP Senate confirmed a judge to a lifetime appointment who was nominated by a lame-duck loser. Ya’ know, I’m starting to suspect Republicans might be hypocrites.

Mizelle’s ruling came down to this: The CDC has the authority to stop contaminations but doesn’t have the authority to prevent them. She also included wonky wingnut science writing that face masks don’t actually work and they actually trap COVID germs. Is it weird that Republicans don’t want the nation’s leading scientists and experts in infectious diseases to issue opinions about the COVID virus yet are comfortable with an inexperienced judge striking down health decisions? If this Florida (ack) judge can make health decisions for the entire nation, maybe we can let Dr. Anthony Fauci issue a few rulings on religion and abortion.

Honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t rule against wearing seat belts and not opening windows during flights.

Here’s the thing we’ve been telling MAGAts for over two years which they still don’t understand: You wear a facemask to protect others more than to protect yourself. It’s not about “freedom.” And believe it or not, most people in favor of mandates and who you see still wearing them in grocery stores HATE wearing them. I hate wearing them. It’s inconvenient…but it’s a slight inconvenience. It’s nothing to be a whiny entitled baby about. It’s the very least you can do for your neighbors, community, and country. But since it’s the very least, Republicans can’t do it.

Planes and trains are tightly sealed compressed cans full of humans. The number one situation where you want to wear a mask is while traveling, especially with mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging cave-dwelling MAGAt troglodytes. Even if we eliminate COVID, you might want to continue wearing a mask because some people (Republicans) are just nasty. I think airlines should start offering MAGAt-free sections. I don’t want to sit next to a conspiracy theorist who believes Disney and pizza shops are full of satanic deep state baby-eating pedophiles but thinks it’s okey-dokey for grown men to marry 12-year-olds.

I’ll be on a train next week for a short trip to DC, and I don’t care if there’s a mandate or not, I’m wearing one of my remaining N95s. And if you’re walking wearing an N95 face mask you found in a toilet stall in the men’s room in the Denver International Airport, you can keep it.

Music Note: My random player was on while I was drawing and it gave me some Neil Young, Tom Petty, The Who, and The Kinks. It tried to give me some Eagles but I skipped that shit. I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Slice of Conspiracy


Some of the Republicans asking Ketanji Brown Jackson questions were using their time, not asking serious questions for a nominee to the Supreme Court of the United States, but were instead auditioning for the 2024 presidential race…that is, if Donald Trump lets them run. And while trying to make Fox News, OANN, and Newsmax highlight reels, they were throwing dog whistles to Qanon.

Do you remember the pizzagate conspiracy that claimed Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of the basement of a pizza parlor in Washington, DC? This was generated from Clinton Campaign chief John Podesta’s email which was hacked by Russia, given to Wikileaks, then loudly broadcast by Donald Trump.

Just like with Hunter Biden’s supposed laptop, the people screaming about the hacked emails from the Clinton Campaign can’t tell you what’s in them. And since they couldn’t find anything scandalous, they had to create one. They claimed, “let’s get a pizza” was code for child pornography. It’s too much of a rabbit hole to go down to explain how all this landed in a DC pizzeria that doesn’t even have a basement, but it was generated by Qanon on 4chan and other assorted hate sites. Eventually, a North Carolina fucknut with a rifle drove up to DC and shot into the establishment.

This was the birth of Qanon. Since then, it’s grown into a conspiracy theory that deep-state Democrats are operating a pedophilia ring and Donald Trump was on a mission to bring it down. Some Qnuts theorists claim the pedophile deep-state Democrats are also lizard people. Seriously.

Of course, it’s laughable to believe that Qanon and Republicans care all that much about stopping pedophilia. They were silent on former House Speaker Dennis Hastert being a pedophile. You don’t hear them asking what Jim Jordan knew when college wrestlers were being victimized while he was coaching them. They were all defensive of Roy Moore spending more time in mall food courts than Debbie Gibson did in the 80s. And I haven’t heard one demand an investigation into the accusation that Donald Trump raped a teenager.

They accuse President Joe Biden of being a pedophile and joke about it where you have to be a Qanon goon to even understand the reference, like with “Let’s go Brandon.” What are they talking about? Also, ask one of them, any of them, what’s on Hunter’s laptop? Why are they OK with it being stolen? Why are they OK with contents being spied on without there ever being a FISA warrant? Oh, wait…they don’t really care about FISA warrants either. It’s like the Constitution to them. They only care about something if it can be weaponized. You don’t hear Devin Nunes screaming that Hunter Biden’s rights have been violated. But then again, maybe he’s too busy trying to get Truth Social off the ground.

Senators Tom Cotton, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, and Marsha Blackburn were asking Judge Jackson about sentences she gave to pedophiles. As it turns out, they were normal and in line with other judges’ sentences. But, they’ve created the narrative she’s soft on pedophiles, never mind the fact that she sent them to prison. Fun fact: When Josh Hawley was a horse-faced Missouri prosecutor, he let a sex abuser get off with only probation.

These senators wasted very important time on their own political ambitions instead of doing their jobs. And instead of denouncing Qanon, which is a cult comprised of insane racists and terrorists, they feed the beast. After Senator Josh Hawley first started his attacks on Judge Jackson being soft of pedophiles, online threats against her life have been made by Qanon goons.

Tom Cotton, Marsha Blackburn, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, and the majority of the Republican Party are appealing to racist hateful people who will tear this nation apart and destroy democracy if they’re not given what they want.

The entire Republican Party is now a cult and instead of fighting to save it, these senators feed it to the cult.

By the way, the pizzagate shooter was sentenced by…wait for it…Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. She gave him four years in prison. Fact is, Judge Jackson sent Qanon terrorists to prison. Maybe that’s another reason for Republicans to hate her.

Music Note: I listened to the Violent Femmes but did NOT play “Blister in the Sun.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Racist Racists


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Once again, the people who scream loudest about “cancel culture,” political correctness, and cry that people are trying to take away their freedom of speech, are whining about President Joe Biden’s speech on the Voting Rights Act. This is another opportunity for white Christians to play like the most persecuted people in the history of persecutions.

President Biden went to Atlanta and if it wasn’t Hotlanta before, it is now. In his speech, President Biden compared those opposing the Voting Rights Act to racists of yore.

President Biden challenged Republicans in the Senate, and probably elsewhere, with the comparisons. He asked, “Do you want to be on the side of Dr. King or George Wallace? Do you want to be on the side of John Lewis or Bull Connor? Do you want to be on the side of Abraham Lincoln or Jefferson Davis? This is the moment to decide, to defend our elections, to defend our democracy. If you do that you will not be alone.”

It was a strong speech. Asked about the criticism, White House spokesperson Jen Psaki said, “I know there has been a lot of claim of the offensive nature of the speech yesterday, which is hilarious on many levels, given how many people sat silently over the last four years for the former president, but I would note that in our view, and the president’s view, what is far more offensive is the effort to suppress people’s basic right to exercise who they want to support and who they want to elect. That’s not a partisan thing, and that was why he gave such a strong speech yesterday.”

Republicans were upset. Even some Democrats were upset. Democratic Senator Dick Durbin said, “Perhaps the President went a little too far in his rhetoric.” Maybe Republicans are right about some Democrats because Durbin has gone snowflake us on.

But most of the people pissed off about the speech are the people who actually stand with Jefferson Davis, Bull Connor, and George Wallace.

Mitch McConnell, who spent four years burying his face between the ass cheeks of President Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy, called the president’s speech “unpresidential.” He also called it an “incoherent rant.” I bet Bull Connor would have appreciated that.

Tulsi Gabbard, a former Democratic representative who’s in the wrong party, compared Biden’s speech to when Hillary Clinton called Trump supporters “deplorables,” calling that “divisive and disgusting.” She tweeted, “But Biden has gone further, calling those who disagree with his actions & policies domestic enemies, traitors, and racists. Biden promised to unite us, but he is doing all he can to divide us.”

But here’s the thing, kiddos, Hillary Clinton was right. The people who support Trump are deplorable. Voting for a grifting lying racist who boasts about assaulting women, mocks the handicapped, and cuddles up to Vladimir Putin is deplorable. And Joe Biden is right too.

The people writing the new voting restriction laws based on the Big Lie are on the same side as Jefferson David, Bull Connor, and George Wallace. If you support making it harder for minorities to vote, congratulations. You’re supporting racist policies.

Gabbard said it’s “divisive” to call people who disagree with Biden’s policies “domestic enemies, traitors, and racists,” but he didn’t do that. He was talking specifically about voting rights. But ya’ know, those people who attacked the election results, and then tried to overturn an election and destroy our democracy by attacking the Capitol are domestic enemies. The people who tried to install Donald Trump as an unelected leader are terrorists.

Basically, President Joe Biden is in trouble for calling racists “racist.” Racists don’t like being called “racist.” It’s so unfair to the racists.

Why can’t racists support a racist president without being called “racist?”

Why can’t racists support racist policies, like making it harder for black people to vote, without being called “racist?”

Why can’t racists join racist clubs, like Oath Keepers, One Percenters, Proud Boys, and Q Anon, without being called “racist?”

It’s like this: Being a Republican doesn’t mean you’re a racist, but all racists vote for Republicans. If you’re a Republican, you’re on the same side as racists. If you vote Republican, you’re voting the same candidates the racists vote for. Your ballot is identical to David Duke’s ballot.

And I cut you some slack in 2016 and spent four years saying that voting for Donald Trump doesn’t mean you’re a racist…but it does now.

If you voted for Donald Trump in 2020, you’re a racist. You had four years of him spouting racist shit and policies from the White House. In 2016, you might have voted for Donald Trump despite the racism. Racism was not a deal-breaker for you in 2016. In 2020, you didn’t vote for Donald Trump despite his racism. You voted for Donald Trump because of his racism.

And if you try to pass off that bullshit, “Donald Trump isn’t a racist,” then you’re a fucking racist.

President Biden can’t call racists “racist.” He’ll get in trouble for it. But I can.

I like being on the side of Abraham Lincoln, Dr. King, and John Lewis. If you don’t like being called a racist, that’s your own stupid fault for being on the side of Jefferson Davis, Bull Connor, and George Wallace. It’s your own fault for being a racist.

Music note: I listened to Taylor Swift’s “Folklore” album today. I still haven’t listened to her latest, “Evermore,” because if it’s as brilliant as “Folklore,” I don’t know if I’m prepared for that double-whammy of genius.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Qanon Shaman Ding Dong


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Jacob Chansley, the Qanon Shaman, was just handed 41 months in prison for his involvement with the white nationalist insurrection that Donald Trump ordered to overturn an election he lost and install him as a fascist dictator.

You remember Jacob Chansley (who also goes by the name Jake Angeli and Jake From State Farm). He was the guy with a two-tailed raccoon ass with horns on his head, had painted his face, ran through the Capitol howling, and despite Trump cultists saying nobody was armed, he was armed with a very large spear.

Jake got into the Senate chamber and left a note on the desk where just minutes before, Vice-President (sic) Mike Pence had just stood overseeing the certification of the election he and his savior, Trump, had just lost. The note was a threat that the Trump Cult was coming for him. Don’t forget, these “unarmed” Trumpsters were going through the Capitol with nooses while chanting “hang Mike Pence.”

I got this cartoon idea when the sentence came down. I soon saw a colleague’s cartoon on it with a remorseful Trump caring about Jacob. I thought, “No. That’s not right. Trump doesn’t care about Jacob or anyone who’s not Trump.”

Trump doesn’t care about the people who broke laws for him. During his 2016 rallies, he promised to pay legal fees for any member of his cult who punched a protester. It may be the first time a future president (sic) encouraged his base to assault people and break the law. Trump is probably also the first president (sic) to ask his base to break the law. He’s definitely the first one to ask them to commit a coup attempt and overturn an election.

Fun fact: Donald Trump never paid for any of his supporters’ legal fees, even after they did as he asked, punch a protester. And, he’s not paying any legal fees for the 695 people who have been charged in connection with the coup attempt, even though he called them out to do it.

He tweeted for them to come to the capital on January 6. He said it was “going to be wild.” He threw a little rally and told them to “walk to the Capitol” and “I’ll be right there with you.” He wasn’t “right there” with them. He went back to the White House to watch the mayhem from his extra-wide Barcalounger.

Jacob Chansley pleaded guilty to felony obstruction of an official proceeding in connection with the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. When his lawyer was asked what “appropriate accountability” for Trump would look like, he said, “I’d tell him, ‘You know what? You’ve got a few fucking things to do. Including clearing this fucking mess up and taking care of a lot of the jackasses that you fucked up because of January 6.'”

He sounds angry.

No, Donald Trump will not clear the “fucking mess” up. Nor will he “take care of the jackasses” he “fucked up.” Donald Trump only cares about one person. Guess who that is. Time’s up. It’s Donald Trump.

Donald Trump doesn’t return loyalty. You don’t have to take the word of the people closest to Trump who verifiy this. You can just look at his past actions. Look at Michael Cohen. Trump bailed on him after decades of loyalty.

The only reason Trump ever pardoned anyone was to shut them up. I mean, it’s not Russia where you can throw them off a building. But, pardoning also keeps their loyalty. Trump was mad at Steve Bannon, then he pardoned Bannon, and then Bannon helped plan the insurrection. If you want a true example of Trump’s loyalty, just look at Jeff Sessions.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about anyone, just like he doesn’t care about this country. Donald Trump only wanted, and wants now, to be president, not because of what he could for the country, but more for what he could do to the country. And, for what being president could do for himself.

Jacob Chansley will be sitting in jail eating organic jail food the judge approved for a long time. Donald Trump will be playing a lot of golf for a long time.
I don’t think Donald Trump even knows the name “Jacob Chansley.”

Creative note: I’ve drawn quite a few cartoons of Trump playing golf. So what I do now is when I draw another Trump/Golf cartoon, I don’t look at the previous cartoons. I don’t want them all to look the same but they still all look kind of the same.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: I am currently on one-week probation from posting new videos on YouTube because somebody got upset with me for criticizing Marjorie Taylor Green, Qanon, white nationalists, and Nazis ten months ago.

Full Approval Meets Full Crazy


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I have a friend, let’s call him Mr. Jingle Balls. A few months ago I bumped into Mr. Jingle Balls and his girlfriend in a bar and we decided to sit at a table together and catch up. It had been a while since I’d seen either one of them. We got around to talking about the vaccine for the coronavirus. Ms. Jingle Balls told me she had gotten the vaccine and was glad she did but then went over her entire experience with it because she’s neurotic. Mr. Jingle Balls told me he had not gotten the vaccine and he wouldn’t. I was intrigued.

I didn’t want to debate Mr. Jingle Balls over a beer in a bar but I did want to know why he refuses to get vaccinated. I told him I wasn’t challenging him or trying to debate, but I just wanted to know why. Talking to a real person with a different viewpoint outside of social media is something everyone should do. Get out of your bubble, people. He didn’t go into great detail just stating it wasn’t the kind of thing he does. OK, he didn’t want to get into it but his answer didn’t make any sense. If it’s concern about a strange substance going into his body, that concern is gone with the whiskey, beer, and cigarettes he consumes. Also, he has a Kiss tattoo which is probably double the toxin being that it’s of Gene Simmons. Everyone knows the only safe Kiss tattoo to get is of Ace Frehley. Right now you’re probably asking, “How does Mr. Jingle Balls have a girlfriend?”.

Fun fact: Gene Simmons, like the FDA, has fully approved a vaccine to the coronavirus. You have to be fully vaccinated to attend a Kiss concert. Gene Simmons, the Demon, also claims to have slept with over 4,800 women, so he probably got over the fear of vaccines decades ago.

But, Mr. Jingle Balls isn’t someone I would classify as anti-vaccine. I mean, for himself, yeah. But he’s not on social media waging a war against the vaccine. He’s not trying to persuade people not to get it. Even when we were talking, he didn’t say anything discouraging about the vaccine and that’s one reason why I didn’t want to argue with my friend. For him, it seems more of a personal choice. That’s something anti-vaxxers should not. It’s still a choice.

I have another friend who we’ll call Crazy Mama (because she is), who is definitely anti-vaccine, and shockingly, she’s not a MAGAt wingnut. In fact, she hates Donald Trump but I think she hates vaccines more. She’s been all over social media waging a war against the vaccine and because I love her, I have not challenged her on this (but I have challenged her before on NASCAR. She loves NASCAR and probably has a #3 tattoo somewhere on her body. I’ve never seen her naked, so I don’t know. No, this doesn’t mean I’ve seen Mr. Jingle Balls naked). But, I did ask her once, “why?”. Crazy Mama told me because it hasn’t been approved by the FDA. Well, what’s her excuse going to be now?

The FDA has given full approval to the Pfizer vaccine. What has Crazy Mama got to say about this? I don’t know because since the announcement yesterday, all she’s posted on her Facebook page has been giraffe videos. So she has a thing about giraffes. I knew this. She probably has a giraffe tattoo with a #3 on it.

Yesterday, the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) gave full approval to the Pfizer vaccine to the coronavirus. They’re calling it a “key achievement for public health.” The FDA says the approval means “the public can be very confident that this vaccine meets the high standards for safety, effectiveness, and manufacturing quality the FDA requires of an approved product.” That means it’s no more dangerous than McNuggets.

Why wasn’t it already approved? And how was the product made available to the public before the FDA approved it? Why does anyone eat McNuggets? Those are three good questions.

The reason it was available is because the FDA granted emergency use. That’s kind of an approval right there and we were and are in an emergency. The reason it took so long for an approval is because the FDA takes its business seriously and the vaccines have to go through a full review. A full review does take time. Part of that review requires data on how people fared six months after being fully vaccinated. The reason some people eat McNuggets is fuck if I know.

Did you know they come in a 20-piece? Who in the hell can eat 20 McNuggets? Why would anyone eat 20 McNuggets? The late great Anthony Bourdain once said the McNugget is the most disgusting thing he’s ever put in his mouth, and this is coming from a guy who once ate a roasted anus from a water buffalo.

The two-dose Pfizer vaccine is approved for those 16 and over. There is still an emergency use authorization for those 12-15. The other vaccines, Johnson & Johnson, Moderna, AstraZeneca, etc, will probably follow with FDA approval. There are at least 22 vaccines for the virus worldwide. One is from Russia and even called Sputnik, which if it’s anything like their misinformation propaganda outlet with the same name, I’d have less fear in the anus from the water buffalo. But, still probably better than a McNugget.

A lot of people like Crazy Mama argue there wasn’t enough time to develop these vaccines for them to be effective. They’re wrong. Covid-19 is a successor to the SARS virus outbreak of 2002-03. Scientists have been developing vaccines for SARS since which is nearly two decades. Science stands on the shoulders of science.

Seriously, if you’re afraid of putting the vaccine into your body but you smoke, drink, get tattoos, eat McRibs and McNuggets, shut up.

Hopefully, full approval by the FDA will sway people who have been hesitant to get the vaccine. Dr. Anthony Fauci (who is another Anthony that would probably advise against eating McNuggets) speculates it will convince 20 percent of those who’ve been resistant. It probably won’t sway anti-vaxxers at all. But, it should create more mandates. The full approval will allow the Defense Department to mandate that all service members become vaccinated against the coronavirus. This isn’t as big of a deal as it sounds as the military has always mandated vaccines for its members.

Unfortunately, there still aren’t vaccines to fight against stupid and crazy…or McNuggets.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trump Cabinet


Cjones08082021

You can be forgiven if your first response to hearing Donald Trump is meeting with his cabinet at one of his golf clubs is, “What fucking cabinet? Is he insane?”

Yes. Donald Trump is insane. What’s worse is that people we suspect may not be totally bonkers are enabling his insanity.

If you know someone who thinks he’s Napoleon, you should probably call specialists who send trucks to pick up people like that instead of enabling him with something like, “Pardon, me sir…but will Lady Josephine be joining us at Waterloo today?”

Mark Meadows, Trump’s chief-of-staff from when he actually was president (sic), told Newsmax he visited Trump at Bedminster in New Jersey and, “We met with several of our cabinet members tonight.”

Uh, what cabinet? Let’s make something clear. Donald Trump does NOT have a cabinet because Donald Trump is NOT president. Maggie Haberman of The New York Times said, “I can’t stop thinking about this interview. The former chief of staff is talking as if there’s a shadow presidency going on (there isn’t) at a time when there’s a conspiracy theory that Trump will be reinstated (he won’t).”

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics, a non-partisan watchdog group, said, “We can’t believe we have to say this, but no, Donald Trump is not secretly running the country from a golf course in New Jersey.”

I can’t believe I have to say this but Donald Trump is NOT the president.

There are people who still believe Donald Trump is the president. There are others who believe he was robbed and will return to the presidency on August 13. There are people who believe both, that he’s still the president and he’ll be reinstated as president…don’t ask me how that works. Donald Trump is selling all of this.

Lin Wood, a pro-Trump attorney, recently told a crowd of MAGAts, that Trump “is still the guy the military will call” in the event of a crisis. He added that President Joe Biden only APPEARS to be president. Yeah, winning an election, living in the White House, and signing bills into laws will give off that appearance.

Here’s a free legal tip: When hiring a lawyer, ask him or her if they support Donald Trump and if they think he’s still president. If the answer is yes to either, find another lawyer.

Mark Meadows will not identify the members of this cabinet. Here’s a fun fact, presidents don’t have secret cabinets. Cabinet members have to be confirmed by the United States Senate. It’s really hard to keep their identities concealed during confirmation hearings in the Senate. You don’t just pluck fuckers off a golf course and install them into a presidential cabinet. No. You do that with ambassadorships.

But Donald Trump is nuts. He probably believes he has a cabinet because he thinks he’s still president and will be reinstated on August 13. What I need to know now is, what date are they going to claim after August 13 passes and Trump is still just a whiny wedding crashing conspiracy-spreading lunatic on a golf course?

Mike Lindell, the MyPillow lunatic, believes Trump will be reinstated on August 13. There are members of Qanon who believe Trump is secretly controlling the military and they’ll overthrow the Biden presidency for him on August 13. These people don’t seem to understand they are opposing democracy. Donald Trump, in direct opposition to democracy, is trying to become a fascist dictator. We don’t install or reinstate presidents. Presidents in this country are elected.

Is Donald Trump forcing is secret golf club cabinet to sign documents stating the election was corrupt? That’s what he attempted to do with the Justice Department before the insurrection at the Capitol by his white nationalist terrorists.

On December 28, Jeffrey Clark, a Trump goon in the Justice Department and acting head of the Civil Division, addressed a letter to the governor of Georgia and state legislative leaders stating the department was “investigating various irregularities” in the presidential contest and that it had “identified significant concerns that may have impacted the outcome of the election.” It proposed that the Republican-controlled Georgia legislature call a special session, ignore the will of the voters, and send alternate electors to Congress on January 6 giving the state’s electoral college votes to Donald Trump. The Georgia state legislature didn’t do that but now they are changing the laws giving them the power to basically do just that.

The acting attorney general, Jeffrey Rosen, and acting deputy attorney general, Richard Donoghue, rejected the letter. Donoghue wrote, “It is not the Justice Department’s place to tell states how to overturn election results.” I don’t know if Georgia ever got the Trump goon’s letter, but they did get a phone call from Trump telling them to overturn the election.

Donald Trump called election officials in Georgia and told them to “find me the votes.” He was demanding they create votes out of thin air and overturn the election in his favor. He even threatened them with criminal charges if they didn’t comply. He told them, “All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have because we won the state.”

On December 15, Trump called Rosen into the Oval Office to insist he file legal arguments claiming the election was stolen. Rosen refused.

This is where it gets good.

On December 27, Trump called Rosen at the Justice Department and told them they “may not be following the internet the way I do,” because they weren’t aware of all the conspiracy theories he had read and believed about the election being stolen. I mean, why couldn’t the Justice Department just take Sidney Powell’s word for it? Why couldn’t the Justice Department just release that invisible “kraken?” At the very least, can’t the acting attorney general spend a few hours every day scrolling through 4chan?

According to notes taken by Donoghue, Rosen told Trump he needed to “understand that the DOJ can’t + won’t snap its fingers + change the outcome of the election, doesn’t work that way.”

The notes record Trumps response as, “I don’t expect you to do that. just say that the election was corrupt + leave the rest to me and the R. Congressmen.”

Two days later, Trump sent Rosen and Donoghue a draft lawsuit he hoped would be filed with the Supreme Court. It was a duplicate of a lawsuit filed by the state of Texas the court had already declined to hear. That was the lawsuit where Republican Trump goons in Texas filed a lawsuit against another state’s election. Maybe that Texas attorney general is on Trump’s secret golf club cabinet.

Trump’s goon in the Justice Department, who had written the conspiracy letter encouraging Georgia to overthrow its election, continued to spread conspiracy theories in the department. Trump was loudly speculating about firing Rosen, who had just replaced William Barr as AG, and replacing him with Clark. On December 31, Rosen and Donoghue called Clark in and told him to cut the shit with the “stolen election” conspiracy theories. Keep in mind that in less than a month, none of these guys would still be in the Justice Department.

Donald Trump tired to steal the election. He tried to overturn it. He had enablers and goons in Congress, states, and the Justice Department helping him try to overturn the election. He initially refused to comply with the transition. He still has not conceded defeat. He tweeted for his supporters to gather in the capital on January 6 to stop the certification of the election saying it was “going to be wild.” On January 6, he held a rally in the capital telling his supporters to “march to the Capitol.” The intention was to stop the certification with a terrorist attack. After the attack, Republicans in Congress still voted to overturn the election. That would have been like Republicans destroying the Pentagon after al Qaida flew a plane into it.

That terrorist attack, the Republicans who voted to overturn the election, Republicans who voted against investigating the attack, and Republicans in states who tried to overturn the election are the reasons why it’s dangerous for people like Mark Meadows to make claims about Trump having a cabinet. It’s dangerous to enable Donald Trump in his claims he’s running a secret government. It’s dangerous because there are MAGAts who want August 13 to be just like January 6, except actually overturning the government this time. While they can’t succeed in overthrowing an election ten months after it happened, they can succeed in creating violence, weakening our democracy, and hurting a lot of people in the process.

Donald Trump can put all the idiots he wants on his pretend cabinet and keep playing fake president, but come August 13 and after, Joe Biden will still be the president of the United States of America.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Kevin’s Slim Pickens


Cjones07132021

A friend of mine used to hold a July 4th pool party every year…until one attendee got drunk and pooped in the pool. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence the pool pooper is a Republican. But nevertheless, no more July 4th pool parties. And pooping in the pool is exactly what House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy plans to do in the January 6 Committee.

The first attempt to have a commission to investigate the white nationalist MAGA terrorist insurrection on the Capitol Complex passed the House with very little GOP support, and died in the Senate. Republicans claimed they voted against it because the commission, with equal representation by both parties and each having full subpoena powers, would be too partisan. Before the vote, Democrats gave Republicans EVERYTHING they demanded before they could vote for it…and they still voted against it.

It’s kinda like taking your kids shopping for back-to-school clothes, and they refuse to participate. So after you’re done shopping for them, they get a hair up their ass because they don’t like the clothes you picked, which looks like that cheap-looking checkered suit Matt Gaetz wears. In this example, your kids are right to complain, you monster.

In Congress, Republicans, after being given everything they asked for, still voted against it. Even though they voted against it, we still need to get answers for the January 6 MAGA tiny-dick terrorist attack. So, Nancy Pelosi held a vote for another committee and this time, Republicans don’t have equal representation or subpoena power. Boo-hoo, fucknuts.

Of course, now they’re going to complain and campaign that they weren’t given equal representation and subpoena power. They will gaslight that they were never given a choice.

Kevin gets five picks and Nancy gets eight. Even better, Nancy can veto Kevin’s picks. And from looking at the names being tossed around by the tossers, she may need to veto every one of them.

Originally, Kevin threatened his members and said if they accepted an appointment to the committee, he would take away all their other committee assignments. Republicans are already afraid of this committee. They want all talk of the racists-for-Trump terrorist attack to go away. Talking about it can hurt the entire party in the 2022 midterms, upset the MAGAt base, and upset Donald Trump. If any Republican takes it seriously and ask serious questions like, “How many Nazis-for-Trump were in the riot?”, then Donald Trump may primary them.

Kevin is also afraid of who this committee may have questions for. Kevin is afraid they may subpoena Kevin. Also, the committee may subpoena Mo Brooks, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump Jr, and even Donald Trump. Keep in mind, it’s a crime to lie to Congress. Mo Brooks is currently using defending himself in a lawsuit for inciting the riot with the argument he was lying about the election being stolen in his capacity as a federal official.

The problem for Kevin is: Do Republicans refuse to work with the committee and risk coming off as disinterested in protecting our nation from terrorists, or do they do the jobs they were elected to do and risk pissing off the racist MAGAt base and Trump in the process?

The answer for Kevin is to go ahead and allow Republicans to join and to make sure they’re poo-flinging howler monkeys, and in the House, there is no better poo-flinging howler monkey than Jim Jordan.

First off, Kevin can’t pick people like Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, or Marjorie Taylor Green. They can’t even pretend to be serious in addition to being too stupid for the committee. Appointing one of those shitweasels will only serve to embarrass the GOP…which should already be embarrassed.

Kevin plans to pick shit stains like Jim Jordan who will use the committee to deflect from the white nationalist terrorist attack. Nancy should veto the selection of Jim Jordan. She should veto anyone who voted against certifying the election. Every member who voted against certifying the election voted against democracy. They voted with the terrorists. In fact, it’s illegal to be in Congress after you supported enemies against the United States of America. Every single one of those Republicans who voted with the terrorists should be removed from Congress.

When people are elected to Congress, they take an oath to protect our nation, not to protect terrorists. The Republican Party and Kevin McCarthy have chosen to protect terrorists over their nation.

Republicans accuse this committee and Democrats of being partisan about January 6. It is now partisan. One side is partisan to democracy. The other side is partisan to terrorists.

Nancy, please don’t allow any supporters of terrorists to sit on this committee. Let them fling poo on their own time. If they want to shit in a pool, there’s one at Mar-a-Lago.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Italian Satellites Vs. Jewish Space Lasers


I imagine space has to be really tight just outside our planet’s atmosphere. In addition to the International Space Station and the still-under-construction Chinese space station (with three astronauts currently on it), there are about 2,000 active satellites, 3,000 dead satellites, and over 34,000 pieces of space junk orbiting our planet. And if you think all that space junk is a catastrophe waiting to happen (there’s a one in 3,200 chance you may be hit in the head by a piece of falling space crap), wait until the ballot-changing Italian satellites duke it out with the Jewish space lasers.

You do remember the whole thing about Jewish space lasers. It was a conspiracy theory pushed by Marjorie Taylor Greene, the congressperson who’s also a member of the Qanon cult, in addition to being in the Trump cult.

Qanon believes there’s a deep state organization controlling our government that consists of Satanic cannibalistic pedophiles who, when not eating babies and drinking their blood, are peddling them in a child-sex ring out of Washington pizza parlors (still better than pineapple on pizza). They also believe Donald Trump is the one who’s going to defeat this Satanic cabal of baby-blood thirsty pedophiles (no word on if he’ll defeat the sadists placing pineapples on pizzas).

Additionally, the Qnuts think 9/11 was an inside job, it’s illegal for Muslims to hold elected office, school shootings are faked, leading Democrats should be execucted, and Zionist supremacists are secretly masterminding Muslim immigration to Europe in a scheme to outbreed white people. That last one is called the “Great Replacement Theory” and has been promoted by Tucker Carlson on his show that speaks “truth” to white supremacists.

Qanon also believes 9/11 was an inside job. Now, they’re also claiming the January 6 insurrection by racist Trump goons was also an inside job which is really confusing because one minute, it’s Antifa, then it’s something for Trump supporters to champion, then it’s the FBI, and then they go back to being proud of it and wanting January 6 to be the next federal holiday.

With the Jewish space lasers theory, Congressperson Greene says California wildfires don’t just happen. They’re created by the Rothchilds (who’ve been blamed for shit since the 1760s, including the Holocaust, presidential assassinations, pineapple on pizza, the existence of ketchup, dubstep, and ska) in conjunction with the Pacific Gas and Electric Company to make room for a new high-speed rail system.

This new high-speed rail system will allow gays from San Francisco, in a scheme crafted by Nancy Pelosi, Lebron James, Stacey Abrams, and Oprah (all Rothchild puppets), to infiltrate small-town America and indoctrinate your children into the gay Marxist agenda faster than they could with regular old Amtrak-speed trains.

And if you think the Space Lasers setting forests on fires so the gay trains can get to your kids, so they just mouth the words to the pledge of allegiance instead of actually saying them, because that’s what gay Marxist kids do, is crazy, wait until you hear the one about Italian Satellites. No, wait until you hear who was pushing the conspiracy theory about Italian Satellites.

Did I forget to mention another belief of Qanon and Marjorie Taylor Greene is that Donald Trump won the election? Yeah, just to be clear…he did not. But, they’re clinging to this bullshit and some other really wacky crazy stuff was spread, not just by the Qfucks, but by people working for Donald Trump.

Donald Trump’s legal team consisting of Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell pushed conspiracy theories that the deceased Hugo Chavez was behind Dominion Voting Systems, and that they were changing votes on ballots from Trump to Joe Biden (and in case you’re a Republican, who won the election and is now president of the United States). Naturally, there were assorted Jews involved too. You can’t have a good conspiracy theory without Jews.

During the 2018 midterms, Trump even pushed that George Soros was funding migrant caravans. He actually said he didn’t have any proof or evidence, but he was going to push it anyway. Tucker loved this because it was another night he got to promote the Great Replacement Theory.

But for a ballot to change from one candidate to another, you’re going to need some advanced technology, and there’s nobody better with advanced technology than…wait for it…the Italians.

Speaking of Italians: Have you seen Stanley Tucci’s new show on CNN? He’s going from place to place in Italy, eating Italian food, scarfing down pasta dish after pasta dish, eating rabbits, and even some fried ravioli, and he’s still skinny. This pisses me off because he’s gotta be in his 60s, right? How is he so skinny? At least I still have more hair than him. Sorry, I got off track….but that bald, 60-year-old, skinny-ass pasta-eating mother….grrrrr. Arugula!

Italygate, yeah…I know….holds that people connected to the Italian defense firm Leonardo used satellites to change the votes cast in the 2020 election from Trump to Biden. This explains why so many votes came in late in the evening on election night for Joe Biden, putting him over the top to win the presidency. Never mind the detail mail-in ballots are counted last and there were shit tons of mail-in ballots, which is why Republicans are now making it harder for people to vote by mail and not creating laws restricting Italian satellites.

It’s a crazy theory and I’ve yet to find details on why the Italians would want to meddle in the U.S. election. Oh my God…Was the Pope involved? You know, Pope Francis is a liberal Catholic…Joe Biden is a liberal Catholic…and the Vatican is in Rome which is in…wait for it…Italy. I even fact-checked this. Rome is in Italy.

Also, pizzagate. What if the Italians are also in on pizzagate and they want baby-body parts, bought from Planned Parenthood in a for-profit scheme, to remain a pizza topping? I ran another fact-check and discovered pizza was invented in…wait for it….this will come as a shocker…Toronto. No, wait. That’s not right. Toronto’s where they got the idea to put cheese curds and gravy on French fries. Why, Canada? Why? Pizza was invented in Italy and if done right, not in Chicago, is much better than poutine. Why, Canada? Did you know raw cheese curds are illegal in the United States? Has anyone blamed the Rothchilds or George Soros yet for cheese curds?

What’s even crazier is that legitimate news outlets fact-checked Italygate. No…what’s even crazier than that is this theory wasn’t just pushed by Qanon. It was pushed by the White House. The White House even emailed the Department of Justice asking them to investigate.

On January 1, five days before the Trump insurrection, White House chief of staff Mark Meadows forwarded acting attorney general Jeffrey A. Rosen a shit-ton of cheese curds. No, that’s not right. He forwarded a YouTube video of a former intelligence officer named Brad Johnson detailing what has been dubbed the “Italygate” conspiracy theory. The video was taken down by YouTube because they mistakenly thought it was one of my watch-me-draw videos. No, they took it down because it was a stupid-ass conspiracy theory.

But this conspiracy theory was so fucking nuts that even Trump goons at the Justice Department laughed it off. Rosen shared the email with acting deputy attorney general Richard Donoghue, who replied, in full, “Pure insanity.”

Mark Meadows sent more than one email on Italygate to the Justice Department. Shortly after those emails, he sent another asking them to task a conspiracy theorist to go to Georgia and examine signatures on ballots…and not investigate why Stanley Tucci can stay so skinny while eating all that Carbonara. Seriously. How does he do it?

Rosen, who was appointed by Trump to replace William Barr, sent this one to Donoghue and wrote, “Can you believe this? I am not going to respond to the message below.” Donoghue replied, “At least it’s better than the last one, but that doesn’t say much.”

What’s really scary is that we had people in government chasing conspiracy theories and wanting to use them to validate enacting martial law and bloody coup attempts while doing nothing about the cheese-curd threat.

The Trump administration and their followers are insane. Capisce?

Creative note: My proofer, Hilary, helped me out with this cartoon. I had written the entire thing before bouncing it off her for her input. Hilary is Jewish. She helped me with “garbanzo,” “schlep,” “kibosh,” “tuchus,” and “mishegas.” I had all those words but she helped me with how to use them. She’s also been to Italy and wait….she’s been to Italy and she’s skinny like Tucci. Goddammit.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Republican Medals


Cjones06212021

Yesterday, Vladimir Putin compared Alexei Nevalny to the white nationalist terrorists who attacked the Capitol in a bloody coup attempt to make Donald Trump this nation’s first dictator.

Alexei Nevalny is considered the man Putin fears the most. He’s an opposition leader whom the Russian government has convicted twice on embezzlement charges in order to prevent him from running for president. Since that wasn’t enough to silence his voice, they tried to murder him. They poisoned him which made him flee to Germany for medical treatment, violating his parole. Nevalny returned to Putin’s Russia knowing they would probably throw him in prison, after trying to murder him, for violating his parole.

The MAGA terrorists attacked the capitol to stop Congress from performing its constitutional duty. They did this act based on a lie. Nearly 500 have been charged with crimes. While Nevalny returned to Russia knowing he could be thrown in prison where they would try again to kill him, the MAGA terrorists have cried for their mommies.

Nevalny was poisoned through his food. While in prison, he has been starved. The Qanon Shaman’s mommy cried to a judge that jail food is too tough for her Q baby and it gives him the rumbly tummy.

Republicans will probably love Putin’s comparison. Although Putin was trying to frame Alexei Nevalny as someone as horrible as the MAGA terrorists, Republicans will frame this as their terrorists being persecuted crusaders for their nation, like Nevalny. Amnesty International has listed Alexei Nevalny as a “prisoner of conscience.” The MAGA terrorists don’t have consciences.

Alexei Nevalny is brave and returned to fascist Russia to face consequences from an unfair justice system controlled by a autocrat. The MAGA terrorists only attacked the Capitol because they had large numbers and when brought to accountability, cried like babies. Many are using the legal defense of being too stupid to think for themselves, blaming Trump for goading them and Fox News for giving them “Foxitus.”

Vladimir Putin refuses to say Nevalny’s name. Republicans refuse to use the word “insurrection” in regard to the insurrection. But, some are real good at using “executed” for the death of Ashli Babbitt, a MAGA terrorist killed by Capitol Police while trying to climb through a broken window inside the Capitol. Republicans are framing Babbitt as a hero when the fact is, she was a terrorist.

Ashli Babbitt attacked her government trying to stop the certification of an election and to install a dictatorship. She tried to stop the democratic process. She tried to overturn a democratic election. She is the very definition of a terrorist. The heroes on January 6 are the Capitol Police who fought against her insurrection.

Yesterday, the House overwhelmingly passed a resolution to award the Congressional Gold Medal to the officers who defended the Capitol from Donald Trump’s terrorists. The vote was 406-21.

Yes, 21 House members voted against giving the Gold Medal to cops. You would think something like this would have been unanimous. It would seem that voting to give medals to cops who fought terrorists would be an easy work day, a no-brainer, and be like a day with cake. But no. All 21 no votes came from Republicans…you know, the people who always cry that “blue lives matter” and rail against “defunding the police.” You know, the same people who always pontificate about how much they are for the rule of law. Why, they’re the law-and-order party. They seek justice. They back our boys and girls in blue.

Republicans are not the party of law and order. They’re the party of white nationalist terrorists and bullshit. Just like their claims of patriotism have been exposed as lies by their love for all that is Trump and Putin, their claims of supporting police are total hogwash too.

Why did 21 Republicans, all Trump supporters with a few being Qnuts, vote against giving medals to cops? Because the bill described the rioters as “a mob of insurrectionists.”

Thomas Massie from Kentucky (a yee-haw state) said, “If they just wanted to give the police recognition, they could have done it without trying to make it partisan, without sticking that in there.” Once again, a Republican steps all over himself and says the quiet part out loud. Insurrections are partisan…and insurrections are Republican.

Opposing ISIS and al Qaeda is easy…but I guess it’s harder to oppose terrorism when the terrorists look like you, eh, white boy?

This will be a shocker but Marjorie Taylor Greene also voted no and said she did so because the bill referred to the Capitol as a “temple” and it doesn’t look anything like “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” She also said, “I wouldn’t call it an insurrection.” Would she call it “tourism” as another Republican has? In her defense, she did just find out about the Holocaust. Did you guys hear about this Holocaust thing? Who knew? We should tell more people.

Scott Perry, a Republican from Pennsylvania, said giving the medal to cops was “disgusting.” No, disgusting was in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” when they ate all the live squirmy baby snakes. Giving medals to cops, not so much. But hey, feel free to tear the Capitol Police officers’ beating hearts out.

The 21 Republicans siding with terrorists over cops are Marjorie Taylor Green, Scott Perry, Thomas Massie, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Andy Biggs, Michael Cloud, Andrew Clyde, Warren Davidson, Louie Gohmert, Bob Good, Paul Gosar, Andy Harris, Jody Hice, Mary Miller, Barry Moore, Ralph Norman, John Rose, Matt Rosendale, Chip Roy, and Greg Steube.

I know. A lot of names on that list truly come as a surprise. In case you’re a Republican, that was sarcasm.

Gerald Connolly, a Democrat from Virginia, said, “They voted to overturn the election. But in their vote today, they kind of sealed the deal of basically affiliating with the mob.” Dude, every single Republican who professes loyalty to Donald Trump, says he’s the leader of their party, rushes to Mar-a-Lago for a photo-op with the goon, and says he won the election has sealed the deal of siding with terrorists. They bought that puppy, put it in a box, giftwrapped it, didn’t poke any any airholes into the box, and mailed it without a return address.

Connolly also said, “They now are part of the insurrectionist mob. They brought enormous disrepute and dishonor on themselves in not honoring the brave men and women who defended the Capitol of the United States—everybody in it, but also defending the symbol of democracy in the world, not just here in the United States.”

Putin would be proud.

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