Conspiracy Theories

Cheese Heads


In the 1960s, racists drifted, or stampeded, from the Democratic Party to the Republican Party. Have you seen Republicans post memes about how their party freed the slaves and advanced voting and civil rights? All that’s true. It’s true that the greatest accomplishments in history that Republicans boasts about are liberal ones. Today, racists are Republicans.

It started with Richard Nixon’s southern strategy where he was courting racist southerners. Ronald Reagan advanced the southern strategy with a major campaign speech in Neshoba County, Mississippi, where three civil rights leaders were murdered in Freedom Summer. For a long time, Republicans courted racists by winking and nodding. When George H. W. Bush ran the Willie Horton ads, suggesting that if you voted for Michael Dukakis, then black felons would rape you, it was barely a wink.

After Willie Horton, some Republicans started to feel a little shame. Being in the same party as racists was starting to become an embarrassment. I mean, if racists are in your party then how good is your party? If you and a racist want to advance the same cause, how worthy is that cause? If racists are Republicans then why the fuck are you a Republican?

Also, if you invite racists to a party, what do they bring? Something with marshmallows because of the whiteness? Pigs in a blanket? Doritos because they’re shaped like little cheddar-flavored Klan hoods?

The GOP went from being the party of the radical left, to being responsible (Teddy to Ike), to secretly courting racists in a very open way, to kinda being ashamed of them, to being afraid of offending them, to openly recruiting them. When you elect a president (sic) who built his political profile on birtherism, campaigned on building walls to keep out Mexicans who are “rapists” and “murderers,” enacts a Muslim ban, throws brown kids into cages, shouts, “Send them back,” defends tiki-torch Nazis chanting, “Jews will not replace us,” and incites a bloody coup attempt with the help of white supremacists, you are the racist party. If you’re not a racist but still a Republican, why are you still a Republican?

We used to say, “Not all Republicans are racists but all racists are Republicans.” Now, all Republicans are racists. When you vote for a racist who’s been screaming racist stuff for over a decade, you know you’re voting for a racist. All Trump supporters are racists.

And it gets even worse. All Trump supporters are psychotic, terrorist-supporting, conspiracy-believing racists. The belief, the Big Lie, that the election was stolen from Donald Trump isn’t just a crazy stupid conspiracy theory. It’s a racist conspiracy theory. Where do you think they believe all the “fake” ballots came in from?

Qanon is a racist conspiracy cult. They’re not harmless. And the people who stormed the capitol were led by white supremacists. And of course, the biggest white supremacist, Donald Trump, goaded them. He invited them to Washington then told them to march to the capitol and overturn an election.

It was really bad when all the cultists were just online coordinating terrorist attacks. Now, they’re in Congress.

You have Georgia Qnut Marjorie Taylor Greene advancing racist conspiracy theories about the stolen election and Jewish space lasers. You have Lauren Boebert tweeting to the terrorists that Nancy Pelosi was off the House floor. And then you have Senator Ron Johnson from Wisconsin.

Wisconsin went to Joe Biden. It went twice for President Obama. Donald Trump only won it over Hillary Clinton by a few thousand. So I know this: Wisconsin can do better than Ron Johnson. He’s up for reelection in 2022. Hopefully, Wisconsin fixes this shit.

During the joint House/Senate hearing on the terrorist attack on the capitol, Ron Johnson floated conspiracy theories and defended white supremacists. The conspiracy theories he threw out have already been debunked. After the hearing, he doubled down.

Johnson blamed the attack on “agent provocateurs” and “fake Trump protesters.” He said the real Trump supporters who gathered in Washington on January 6 were only there to protest against an election, which is bad enough you point out they were protesting because they lost. Johnson described them as “jovial, friendly,” and had an “earnest demeanor.” Johnson said there was no white supremacist element to the attack, which has been debunked by everyone who knows better, and that all the people who broke into the capitol, fought with police, and murdered people were “fake Trump supporters.”

And, this is believed by a lot of stupid people. They’re probably the same people who believe Donald Trump won the election.

But again, how can you defend the attack like it was something great then go and blame other people? Try to pick talking points that don’t contradict each other, M’kay?

Illinois Republican Representative Adam Kinzinger, said, “It’s disgraceful for a sitting Senator to spread disinformation so blatantly. It’s a disservice to the people he serves to continue lying to them like this. It’s dangerous and it must stop.”

Ron Johnson has always been a fan of bullshit. Between the election and inauguration day, Johnson was asked by a reporter if he wanted to congratulate President-elect Biden. Johnson didn’t even stop walking when he said, “No,” and that he didn’t have anything to congratulate him for. Can someone please ask Johnson now who won the election?

During the hearing, Johnson read from a racist right-wing website and quoted it, blaming the attack on “plainclothes militants, agent provocateurs, fake Trump protesters, and disciplined uniformed column of attackers.”

Never mind the fact that more than 200 rioters have been criminally charged by federal prosecutors with a lot of them describing themselves as Trump supporters and with several of their lawyers using the defense that Donald Trump goaded their poor, stupid clients into doing these bad things.

Federal officials have said there is no substantial evidence of left-wing provocation or that anti-fascist activists posed as Trump supporters during the riot. It was all Trump supporters, racist goons, white nationalist mother fuckers.

So, Ron Johnson and other Republicans who are not named Adam Kinzinger, Liz Cheney, or Mitt Romney (you have four), why are you so eager to defend racists? Why is it so important that you cater to the hate element? Why are Republicans so afraid of offending white supremacists? Why are Republicans courting Nazis? And, can one goosestep while courting?

Wisconsin Lt. Governor Mandela Barnes tweeted, “Same man who fear mongers with unsubstantiated immigration claims, suggests that health care, food, and shelter are privileges, and continues to dismiss the virus. This is who we know.”

Wisconsin Democratic Representative Mark Pocan tweeted, “a small step away from blaming Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and Hodag’s (have to be from WI to know this reference) for the act of sedition on January 6.”

A little research tells me that a “Hodag” is a creatue with a needled tail and sharp fangs dreamed up by a Wisconsin huckster. Right now, Wisconsin needs to get rid of their Wisconsin huckster blaming his Dear Leader’s terrorism on Antifa.

Fact: Neither, Hodag nor Antifa is a real thing. Ron Johnson as a United States Senator should also not be a thing.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Goodbye To Lou


cjones02092021

Even if you never watched Lou Dobbs Tonight (and if you’re a regular visitor to this page, you didn’t), it’s a positive development for you. The removal of Lou Dobbs and his show means there is one less person poisoning our environment with dangerous bullshit that feeds terrorists. And just a few months ago, we thought maybe the worst he contributed to was stupid racist people.

Lou Dobbs NEVER should have had a TV show. Maybe that’s not entirely fair. But he should have lost all opportunities of having a show after the fucked up call he made in 1999 when he ordered his producer to cut from President Bill Clinton’s speech in Littleton, Colorado, after the Columbine school shooting, to return to his show, Moneyline. Lou Dobbs’ partisanship clearly presented an inability to host a news show, even one with opinions. Dobbs left CNN but he got another chance.

Dobbs returned to the network and started his crusade against “illegal immigration,” and then became the only news anchor to give any exposure and legitimacy to the birther theory, that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya. CNN paid him $8 million to leave.

Naturally, a racist conspiracy theorist like this belonged on Fox News. At Fox, Dobbs continued to push the birther nonsense but also gave credence to the deep state nonsense championed by Donald Trump. Dobbs abandoned all pretense of being an actual analyst and joined the Trump cult and used his program to campaign for Donald Trump. It was sickening.

Lou Dobbs became your crazy uncle where the only qualification to believe in something was that Donald Trump said it. Except your crazy uncle doesn’t have his own TV show on Fox News. Sure, your crazy uncle could get a show on Newsmax or OANN, but not Fox.

And because Donald Trump claimed the election was stolen by Dominion voting machines, Lou Dobbs believed the election was stolen from Trump and for Joe Biden by Dominion voting machines. Now, a company that provided software to Dominion, Smartmatic, has named Dobbs and two other Fox News hosts in a $2.7 billion defamation lawsuit. Trying to save some face, Fox News has canceled Dobbs.

Don’t cry for Lou Dobbs. He’s still rich. In fact, he hasn’t even been fired yet. They just canceled his show. They’re still paying him. How crazy is that? What’s even crazier is that Fox News still has racist conspiracy theorists hosting “news” shows.

On November 12 of last year, Trump’s personal drippy farty attorney, Rudy Giuliani, was on Dobbs’ show promoting the Big Lie, and claimed Smartmatic was founded by Venezuelans connected to the deceased and former dictator Hugo Chávez “in order to fix elections.” Instead of calling him out for bullshit, or even better, not having him on his show, Dobbs thanked Rudy for being “on the case” which “has the feeling of a coverup in certain places.” That’s just some good journalisming right there, folks.

This was supposed to be a news show…on a news channel. Lou Dobbs was supposed to be a credible journalist. Rudy going over a cliff chasing conspiracy theories doesn’t mean Lou Dobbs had to go with him. Journalists are supposed to call this bullshit out, not join in spreading it. On that note, journalists shouldn’t join political campaigns or speak at political rallies. But Fox News “journalists” do that.

Donald Trump issued a statement, because he can’t tweet anymore, saying, “Lou Dobbs is and was great. Nobody loves America more than Lou. He had a large and loyal following that will be watching closely for his next move, and that following includes me.”

I actually read the statement like this: “Lou Dobbs is and was a great racist. Nobody loves attacking America with white nationalist terrorists more than Lou. He had a large and loyal racist following that will be wearing Klan hoods while watching closely for his next racist move, and that racist following includes me, because I’m a racist…with a little tiny dinky.”

Oh my god. That means your crazy uncle is going to lose his show on Newsmax. But hey, there’s an available time slot at Fox Business at 5:00 P.M. eastern time.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Cavegirl


cjones02062021

Last night, the Neanderthals that make up the Republican membership in the United States House of Representatives held a vote on whether or not to remove Congresswoman Liz Cheney, daughter of Dick, from her leadership position.

Oh my gosh. What did that dastardly Liz do? Did she claim school shootings are fake? Did she claim California wildfires are created by Jewish Space Lasers financed by the Rothschilds? Did she claim JRK Jr was murdered by the Clintons? Did she bully school shooting survivors? Did she claim 9/11 was a hoax and planes did not fly into the Pentagon? Does she believe Democrats are part of a deep state of satanic-worshipping pedophiliac blood drinkers? Did she promote Pizzagate? Did she say Muslims shouldn’t be allowed into Congress? Did she defend the Nazis at Charlottesville? Did she call George Soros a Nazi? Did she promote the big lie that Trump won the election? Did she call for the murder of Congressional colleagues? Is she a supporter of Qanon?

Nope. Liz Cheney didn’t do any of that. All of the above are freshman member and Qanon troglodyte Marjorie Taylor Greene’s positions. For her, the House Republicans gave a standing ovation last night. For Liz, they tried to punish her for a vote she cast.

If anyone’s going to inflict punishment for a vote, it should be a representative’s constituents, not her colleagues. Liz Cheney voted to impeach Donald Trump after he incited a terrorist attack on the very building where House Republicans held their vote to punish Cheney. Donald Trump attempted a bloody coup and House Republicans went after Cheney for standing up against it.

Fortunately, Liz Cheney survived but 61 of her colleagues voted to remove her from her leadership position. Last week, her colleague Matt Gaetz flew to her state, Wyoming, and held an anti-Liz rally. Unfortunately while in Wyoming, Gaetz was not eaten by a bear. Guess where Matt Gaetz didn’t fly to? Georgia, the home district of Marjorie Taylor Greene. In Matt Gaetz’s defense, he’s a lying piece of crap who’s never had integrity. Also in his defense, he’s from Florida.

In fact, the House didn’t even hold a vote on whether or not to remove Greene from her committee assignments, especially her seat on the Education Committee, where she’ll be able to tell educators that school shootings are fake and the children who survived are “crisis actors.” Her seat on the Education Committee is the worst thing to happen to education since Betsy DeVos.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is a coward. After Donald Trump incited a terrorist attack against the U.S. Capitol, McCarthy gave a speech on the floor of the House condemning Trump’s action. Then, he flew to Florida to grovel and kiss Trump’s ass at Mar-a-Lago. Now, he’s refusing to do anything about Marjorie Taylor Greene. It probably didn’t hurt her when she said she just got off the phone with Donald Trump.

In the last session of Congress, House Republicans removed Congressman Steve King from all his committee assignments after he openly questioned why “white nationalism” and “white supremacy” were considered bad thing. Now, they’re too cowardly to do something about Greene who has gone beyond expressing bigotry.

Kevin McCarthy and nearly the entire GOP are running scared of Qanon, a group that was a large part of the terrorist attack on the Capitol…an attack that could have killed many of these same Republicans. On Tuesday night, Office Brian Sicknick lay in state in the Capitol because he was killed by terrorists during that attack. Brian Sicknick died defending those Republicans who won’t stand up against the terrorists who killed him. The FBI lists Qanon as a terrorist threat. But Republicans, they’re pandering to this terrorist base.

Qanon is a sickness. It’s a cult. It’s a movement of conspiracy theories and violence. Senate Minority Leader (HAHA) Mitch McConnell called Qanon a “cancer.” The leader of House Republicans, Kevin McCarthy, said he didn’t know what Qanon was or if he was even pronouncing it correctly. Kevin McCarthy is actually slower than Mitch McTortoise McConnell.

Kevin McCarthy had a two-hour one-on-one meeting with Marjorie Taylor Greene about her comments and support of Qanon theories. If he doesn’t know what Qanon is, then what did they spend two hours talking about?

Kevin McCarthy is a sniveling coward. He won’t take action against Marjorie Taylor Greene and won’t even require her to publicly renounce Qanon in order to keep her committee assignments. Today, House Democrats will vote to remove her from those committees. Today, we’ll find out which Republicans support terrorists.

Spoiler alert: It’s going to be a lot of them.

Kevin McCarthy is a coward and he’s allowing a Neanderthal to pull him around by his hair. He’s not a leader. Marjorie Taylor Greene isn’t the only Republican who should be removed from Congress.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Qongress


cjones01312021

During the Trump presidency, people like me were always asked about how easy or hard it was to create satire about Donald Trump. I just saw there’s a podcast of an interview with Andy Borowitz on that same subject. The thing is, it’s hard to satirize satire. Now that Trump’s gone, supposedly, dammit…I still have to satirize satire. There’s very little satire in this cartoon.

The only thing that’s really satirical about this cartoon is that I have Marjorie Taylor Green wearing the Qanon Shaman’s headdress or whatever the fuck that horny thing was. But the rest of it’s true to life. She is a Qanon fucknut and she believes and promotes everything listed here. She’s also a bully. Oh yeah…the worst part is, she’s a freshman member of the United States Congress. Wait. Is that the worst part or is the worst part the fact the Republican Party has incorporated and endorsed her positions? Is there still such a thing as a lunatic fringe?

Marjorie Taylor Greene isn’t just a stupid person hoodwinked by conspiracy theories. She’s a horrible person. She’s a Trump troglodyte. She bullies children.

A video has emerged of MTG stalking David Hogg, a survivor of the Parkland school shooting, as he’s walking down a street in Washington, D.C. on his way to speak to Congress. The recording made two years ago shows MTG is screaming at him about how she has a gun and calling him a coward. She wasn’t caught on a video…she made the video. She’s proud of being a bully of children.

Now, it’s come to light that she’s clicked “like” on a lot of Facebook posts about killing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and FBI agents who “turned” on Donald Trump. This is a horrible vile person being championed by Republicans.

Yesterday, MTG conducted a townhall in Dalton, Georgia when a reporter from a local TV station attempted to ask her about her beliefs and promotion of conspiracy theories and assassinations. MTG refused to answer saying, “I’m talking to my constituents.”

Then, staffers of MTG told the reporter she had caused a “disturbance” and was told to leave with her crew. It gets worse. A Sheriff’s deputy threatened to arrest the reporter for “trespassing.” It was a public townhall the reporter had been invited to attend. Someone fire that deputy. Law enforcement needs to understand and respect freedom of the press. For a bunch of constitutionalists, they sure are ignorant of the Constitution. Read it, fuckers.

So, we have a fucknut in Congress. What to do, what to do? Should she be tossed out for endorsing stupid conspiracy shit and murder? I don’t know because she won her district with over 70% of the vote and it’s not like they didn’t vote her while being ignorant of her beliefs. She campaigned on them.

Maybe, the Republican leadership can make sure she doesn’t sit on any committees. They stripped racist Steve King of all his committee assignments for stuff like questioning why white nationalism is considered a bad thing. Has MTG said anything bigoted? Yes. She believes Muslims should be barred from serving in Congress. She believes there’s a Muslim invasion happening. She believes George Soros is a Nazi. Yes, they have justification not to assign her to any committees.

What? They just put her on a committee? The EDUCATION Committee? Did Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy get confused and believe he needed to put people on the Education Committee who need an education? When asked about MTG’s crazy and dangerous views, McCarthy said he’ll “have a talk with her.” I’d like to have a talk with him.

But then again, McCarthy is fine with people who spread lies and conspiracy theories. He’s going down to Florida today to kiss Donald Trump’s ass. It was just a few weeks ago that Donald Trump sent terrorists to stage a bloody coup attempt.

Man, it truly does suck to have a Qanon follower in Congress. What? There are two of them?

Lauren Boebert is another freshman member of Congress representing a Colorado district. She’s a big fan of the Q. In an interview on a Qanon-supporting web show, she said, “Everything I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real because it only means America is getting stronger and better.” Later, she said she wasn’t a follower and that she was being “vague.” How was she “vague” about “hoping” the conspiracy that the government is run by a deep state of Satanic pedophiles is real? During the storming of the U.S. Capitol, Boebert tweeted locations of House members and that Pelosi had left the chamber, apparently trying to help the terrorists locate their targets. Maybe she was being “vague.”

Let’s get something straight here. Qanon is not cute. It’s not even a fringe thing anymore. It’s widespread and it’s been classified as a terror threat by the FBI. Qanon is also racist. Qanon followers consist of terrorists. The lie that Donald Trump won the election and it was stolen from him only helps support terrorists in their beliefs. Today, there are warnings from our intelligence agencies that Trump terrorists are planning more attacks. These terrorists are supported by people like Marjorie Taylor Green and Lauren Boebert. These terrorists are supported by the Republican Party and the former president (SIC!) of the United States.

Kevin McCarthy and the entire Republican Party shouldn’t “have a talk” with Marjorie Taylor Green or Lauren Boebert. They should be removed from all committee assignments and expunged from the Republican Party. For aiding terrorists, Boebert should be removed from Congress. Perhaps she should be in prison. They don’t need to be talked to. Just get rid of them.

Marjorie Taylor Green is unfortunately supported by her constituents. They don’t care she’s a nutjob, fucknut troglodyte shitweasel who believes in conspiracy theories. They don’t care she’s part of a following that supports terrorists. And even though the information that she’s a bully of children is new, I’m sure her Georgia district won’t have a problem with that either. Why not? Because they’re Republicans. This is the party supportive of Donald Trump’s baby jails.

But, perhaps Marjorie Taylor Green can be removed from Congress for endorsing murdering the Speaker. But then again, today’s Republican Party doesn’t care about sedition, insurrection, or terrorism, even when it’s aimed at them. I’m shocked they haven’t put MTG and Boebert on any intelligence committees.

These people shouldn’t be in Congress. They should be on a street corner holding a sign saying, “The end is near,” or in a relative’s attic. Or better yet, perhaps a padded room.

Every Republican should stand up and demand the removal of Qanon fucks from Congress. But then again, they should have done that with Donald Trump four years ago.

Creative note: Every morning after I am done lettering the cartoon, I send it to Hilary and Laura for proofing. The lettering is the first thing done after the rough stage. This morning, I dragged the file into the wrong window and sent it out on Twitter and Facebook. So, for about ten minutes, my followers got to see a sneak peek of today’s cartoon in its rough stage. By the time I noticed what I had done, there were several comments on the cartoon and nobody seemed to notice it was in the rough stage. It’s a good thing I’m not like Kellyann Conway keeping naked pictures of my teenage child on my device.

It looked like this.

CNNrough1096

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Moo Libel


cjones12272020

You would think any half-ass lawyer would know they can’t run around saying lies and unprovable things about people and corporations. That’s libelous. You can get sued for that. When it comes to Trump lawyers Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani, I’d rather have the cow lawyer. Plus, the cow farts probably aren’t as bad as Rudy’s.

As part of the Trump team’s conspiracy theory in their effort to stage a coup, Sidney Powell has charged that Dominion Voting System’s machines were created by the deceased Hugo Chavez, were sent here by communists in Venezuela to overturn the election, and have links to the Clinton Foundation and George Soros. The team has spread lies that the machines changed votes from Trump to Biden and in some cases, dumped votes for Trump, while somehow leaving the other Republicans on the same ballots untouched. Anybody believing this shit is a little touched.

The Trump campaign has made these claims, often supported by the president (sic) of the United States of America. Do you know what happens when Donald Trump spreads bullshit? His people believe it. There doesn’t have to be any proof or evidence.

Now, lawyers who specialize in defamation cases have sent letters to Trump’s attorneys Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis, Lin Wood and White House counsel Pat Cipollone warning them of “imminent” legal action on behalf of Dominion Voting Systems. They’re demanding the campaign to retain all records of communications between Trump and any White House employee with Rudy Giuliani, Powell, Ellis, and Wood.

This is where it gets good. Others receiving warning letters include Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, Maria Bartiromo, Rush Limbaugh, Greg Kelly (a Newsmax anchor), Fox News, Newsmax, One America News Network (OANN) and Epoch Times.

Two ironic things about Epoch Times: It’s Chinese and the MAGAt belief system is currently trying to tie Joe Biden with China, and…it’s a newspaper. MAGAts don’t read newspapers.

The lawyers demanded they “cease and desist making defamatory claims against Dominion,” saying they had “featured and continue to feature the proponents of this misinformation campaign against” the company.

Another voting machine company, Smartmatic, has sent letters to Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax demanding they stop “publishing false and defamatory statements.”

Dominion CEO John Poulos said the company would be taking legal action against several people “promoting lies and amplifying those lies” on various media platforms since Election Day. When asked if the lawsuits will include Donald Trump, he said, “We will not be overlooking anybody.”

Nine nine days after Election Day, Trump tweeted a claim that “DOMINION DELETED 2.7 MILLION TRUMP VOTES NATIONWIDE.”

On Dominion’s website, they state, “Malicious and misleading false claims about Dominion have resulted in dangerous levels of threats and harassment against the company and its employees, as well as election officials.”

Last Tuesday in Denver, Dominion’s security director, Eric Coomer, filed a defamation lawsuit against the Trump campaign, Giuliani, Powell, Newsmax, OANN, OANN reporter Chanel Rion, blogger Michelle Malkin and others. Coomer’s suit says he has become the target of death threats because of the defendants’ false claims made about Dominion’s machines. Currently, Coomer is in hiding.

Remember how Republicans and MAGAts all chortled about the Kentucky kid suing media outlets after his fray with the tom-tom beating Native American in Washington? They championed that little MAGAt’s lawsuit. He even got a speaking slot at the Republican National Convention. They were all supportive of his lawsuits. How dare the media smear him with their reporting. Now, it’s coming back on them in a much bigger way.

Donald Trump has called for the laws allowing a free press to write “anything they want” to be eliminated so he and others can sue news outlets for reporting facts they don’t like. So isn’t it ironic that as soon as he leaves office, one of the multiple lawsuits he faces is for defamation? I love it.

I hope Dominion lawyers sue each and every person they sent letters to. I hope Coomer wins each of his lawsuits. These liars, destroying reputations, our nation, and championing a coup attempt, need to be taken downtown in legal terms. They need to pay for their bullshit. I predict a lot of settlements. I predict Donald Trump, who claims he never settles but always settles, settles.

I also wish that lawsuits and charges will be filed against Donald Trump, federally and on the state level, within five minutes of Joe Biden taking his oath of office at noon on January 20, 2021. Would that just be the best kick in the nuts ever?

That’s all I want for Christmas…that and Chinese food.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tracking Crazy


cjones12232020

Trump troglodytes can’t have it both ways, can they? In their minds, yes.

The Trump cult already says there was mass election fraud and millions of votes for Donald Trump were switched to Joe Biden…but the votes for other Republicans are valid. Ignore that Trump and down-ballot Republican candidates were on the same ballots. For their argument to work, you have to believe the voting machines fucked with the Trump votes but left the other Republican votes alone.

They said they wouldn’t recognize President Obama and did everything they could to obstruct him. They even said he wasn’t eligible for president because he was born in Kenya. After Trump was elected, they said, “Get over it.”

When President Obama made executive orders, they claimed he was acting like a monarch. When Trump did it, it was the best thing ever and owning the libs.

For decades, they screamed about family values and said Bill Clinton wasn’t qualified to be president because of his conduct with women. When Donald Trump said, “Grab them by the pussy,” well that’s just Trump being Trump.

When Obama was president, they claimed he didn’t love America and was allowing Russia to run over us. When Trump gave national security intel to Putin and refused to ever criticize him, they said, “So what?”.

When Obama was president, they claimed he was on an “apology tour” which was insulting and blaming the United States. When told that Putin had journalists murdered and Trump said, “So? You think we’re so nice?” His supporters just didn’t care.

Republicans claimed that President Obama would refuse to leave the White House or give up power. Why, he might actually enact martial law to remain president. Today, they’re screaming to Trump to declare martial law and steal the election.

With the coronavirus, Trump has taken credit for every success while blaming states for death rates. Donald Trump is taking credit for the vaccine being here but ignoring the massive problems with distribution.

And now, the MAGAts are saying we should praise Donald Trump for the vaccine. It wouldn’t have been possible so quickly without him. And many of them saying that are also saying they won’t take the vaccine. Why? Because the deep state will use it to plant a microchip tracking device inside them. Fucknut propagandist Ben Garrison has stated as much in his cartoons…while praising Trump for the vaccine. He also draws Trump with muscles.

Here’s a fun fact: There are tracking devices with the vaccine…on the vials. That’s probably more than the fucknuts needed to begin spreading conspiracy theories. The tracking devices on the vials is for stuff like making sure the vaccine has not expired. The chip has to be scanned for anyone to read the data. The chip is NOT in the syringe. The chip wouldn’t fit inside the syringe and if it did, it wouldn’t work. To track you, someone would have to follow you around with a scanner. So I don’t think you have anything to worry about unless strangers start walking up to you and try to scan your ass.

Actually, that might be fun. Let’s go to MAGA rallies and just start scanning people and watch them freak out. If they get too upset, we’ll just tell them it’s beeping because it’s a gaydar.

Does your dog have a chip? The chip to track your Fluffy doesn’t really track Fluffy. It’s a backup identification system in case your pet is found. It, too, has to be scanned. It’s not a GPS device. Do you honestly believe the government could manage an intricate computer/GPS system tracking every American? That would be some serious deep-state shit there.

But there is a video on Facebook that’s probably been viewed over 300,000 times at this point, claiming the vaccine contains a tracking device. Qanon type people believe this kind of stuff.

I wish there was a tracking device in MAGAts and there was a website for the general public showing where they are. We could use it like we use the internet to locate them. They’re all at Parler so hey, let’s not go to Parler.

Why would anyone want to track MAGAts? The only reason to know where Trump supporters are is so we don’t go there.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

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Watch me draw:

Peachy Conspiracies


cjones12072020

The orange devil went down to Georgia and spread his shit everywhere.

The Republican Party was concerned Donald Trump would be unable to thread the needle of getting out the vote for their two terrible Senate candidates, Long-Neck Loeffler and Chicken Perdue, in Georgia’s upcoming runoff election while also telling his people the vote is rigged and corrupt. He didn’t surprise anyone.

Donald Trump told his people he won the election which is a lie. He told them the vote was corrupt. He attacked their governor, Brian Kemp, who he called last week trying to convince to break the law and give the state to Trump. Don’t worry about breaking the law, governor. Trump can give you a pardon. He might even give you a discount.

Republicans are afraid that if their stupid-ass, ignorant, conspiracy believing fucknut voters believe that top Republicans in the state, the governor and secretary of state, are helping Democrats corrupt the election, then they won’t even bother to vote. Why vote in a system that’s not going to let you win.

And you know what. THEY’RE RIGHT!!!

It’s all a scam people! You can trust me on this because I work for CNN and they tell us everything that you’re hearing about on 4chan and Parler. We hold the information and hide it so the general population won’t figure it out. But yeah, we stole this election.

What we did was, had George Soros fund North Korean boats to bring over fraudulent ballots which were later filled out at the Clinton Foundation headquarters. Then, we stuck them all inside voter machines designed by Hugo Chavez who came back from the grave to help us steal this election so America can become a socialist commie-infested worker’s paradise. Now, we’re going to force the Green New Deal on everyone, raise taxes on the middle class, ban cow farts, and there will be taco trucks on every corner…but they’ll all be vegetarian tacos.

And here’s the best part: Brian Kemp and Georgia secretary of state, Brad Riff-Raff Raffensperger are in on it. We promised them they would not be forced to work in the brand new socialist sugar mines while being whipped by Morlocks.

May the Satanic-worshipping, baby-pizza-toppings eating Deep State reign forever!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So yeah, if you’re a Georgia Republican, you might as well not even vote.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw:

Trump’s Legal Brains


cjones11242020

If you want an idea of how nutzoid Trump election-stealing lawyer Sidney Powell is, take this in: Tucker Carlson can’t support her arguments…and Tucker has had shows about UFOs.

Tucker Carlson wants to believe in Sidney Powell. He said that he’s “always respected her work” and he’s holding out hope that she’ll provide evidence that thousands of votes were moved from Trump to Biden, which didn’t happen. Tucker is still stupid enough to hold out hope that election fraud occurred.

Do you understand that? Trump supporters are HOPING that our election was rigged and democracy failed. Do you know why? Because it’ll justify their stealing of an election. But right now, they don’t have any evidence or anything that supports their argument that Donald Trump won the election. Do you know why? Because Donald Trump did NOT win the election. Donald Trump lost and Joe Biden will be sworn in as president on January 20, 2021.

Sidney Powell is a Qanon-supporting nut. She has retweeted their theories on multiple occasions. She’s been a guest on Qanon’s YouTube show. Yes, they have a YouTube show. She’s Michael Flynn’s lawyer and now she’s arguing Donald Trump’s case that he won the election despite the fact he didn’t.

Sidney, along with Rudy Giuliani, suck. If they’re your legal team, you’re in trouble. I mean, you might as well invite Republican state legislatures to the White House and beg them to defy their constituents, break the law, invalidate votes, and just give you their state’s electors. Actually, Donald Trump did that yesterday.

Meanwhile, Powell and Giuliani are running around saying the election was stolen, Trump “won in a landslide,” And that it was manipulated by George Soros, the Clinton Foundation, and the deceased Hugo Chavez. At least Sidney’s hair dye isn’t running down her face.

Sidney Powell says she didn’t provide evidence to Tucker because he was rude. How about to the rest of us, Sidney? Their defenders are saying Trump’s legal team is holding their evidence for court…but they’re not using it in court. In fact, they keep having their cases thrown out of courts.

And while Trump’s legal team is arguing at press conferences outside dildo stores that massive voter fraud stole the election, when they’re in court, they’re saying there wasn’t any voter fraud.

So, if you don’t believe me that there was not any massive voter fraud, then take it from Trump’s stupid legal team. They’re telling you one thing and they’re telling judges something else. The judges aren’t buying it, but if you’re a Trump supporter, it’s a good thing for Trump that you’re stupid enough to buy it.

Trump’s legal team’s argument is even losing Fox News, who desperately wants to believe them. I guess this means during the Joe Biden era, Sidney Powell won’t have her own show on Fox. There’s always that Qanon YouTube channel…or Trump TV.

It’s hard for Donald Trump to hire capable lawyers because good lawyers don’t want to argue conspiracy theories in court. Crazy lawyers will though. And Donald Trump has cornered the market on crazy and hiring lunatics…even if the lunatics at Fox are losing hope.

Wanna know what’s even crazier than Sidney Powell saying Trump won in a landslide and blaming Hugo Chavez? 70% of Republicans believe her.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Deep-State Voter Fraud


cjones11212020

What’s dumber than believing Donald Trump won the election or that there’s a deep-state cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic lizard people running the government? Believing you can trust Donald Trump to work out a fair payment AFTER you perform a service for him.

Donald Trump has been sued numerous times by contractors for refusing to pay the price he agreed to in a contract. He’s even been sued by the lawyers who represented him in these disputes for non payments. So now Rudy Giuliani is publicly embarrassing himself for a price to be determined later.

Rudy is Trump’s lead legal fucknut in trying to steal the election from Joe Biden. In doing so, he has to present a case of total bullshit and conspiracy theories. Yesterday, Rudy argued a case in Pennsylvania and told the judge he wasn’t accusing anyone of voter fraud…and then blamed it all on voter fraud. He must have thought he was on Hannity.

There are reports that Rudy is charging $20,000 a day to represent Donald Trump in this attempt to steal the election. Rudy says those reports are lies…and you know how we can always trust Rudy to tell the truth. Rudy says they’ll work out a price after they’re done stealing the election and Donald Trump begins his second term.

Is Donald Trump stupid? Yes, he is, but he’s not dumb enough to pay Rudy $20,000 a day of his own money. His supporters are paying Rudy.

There’s only one thing dumber than voting for Donald Trump and that’s giving money to elect Donald Trump. His grifting is on public record. He publicly cried for an international summit to be given to one of his shitty golf resorts. A court has barred him and three of his shitty kids from participating with any charitable organizations in New York state because he stole from his own charity. Most people would go to prison for something like that. As president (sic), Donald Trump has directed millions of dollars of taxpayer money into his businesses. On top of all that, his campaign conducts events at his resorts where the Trump Campaign pays a fee to Donald Trump.

Giving money to support Donald Trump is like buying a new watch for the guy who stole your watch. So if you’re still giving money to the Trump Campaign, you’re giving it to Donald Trump. And if you’re dumb enough to give Trump money…are you dumb enough to believe a second Trump term will be saved by Rudy Giuliani, the guy who got scammed by Borat?

Part of this entire bullshit propaganda of Trump really winning the election and having it stolen by Democrats is to steal the election from Joe Biden. Another reason is to destroy faith in the government that takes over in January and make Joe Biden fail. But perhaps the greatest reason for this scam is that the Trump Campaign is still raising money for it.

But this time, it’s not going to a legal fight as much as it’s paying off campaign debt…and going into Donald Trump’s pockets. Maybe Trump will put the cash into his secret Chinese bank account or maybe he’ll put it towards the $500 million or so he owes to shady mystery creditors (probably Russians). Or maybe he’ll band use to pay off a real lawyer to help Rudy out the next time he tries to lure a teenage girl into a Manhattan hotel room supposedly for drinks while his hand is down his pants.

What’s almost just as crazy as believing Donald Trump will pay you later…or that Rudy Giuliani should lead your legal defense, is believing the election was stolen from Donald Trump.

70% of Republicans believe Donald Trump won the election and it’s being stolen by Democrats. And just like they didn’t have proof when a majority believed President Obama was born in Kenya, they don’t have any proof of massive voter fraud.

But hey, Republicans don’t need proof for bullshit. Ask Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, or Donald Trump. And now with members of Qanon actually being elected to the United States Congress, anything goes.

Republicans don’t have any relationship with the truth. At this time, only four Republican senators have accepted that Joe Biden has won the election. Two Republicans senators are screaming for the secretary of state of Georgia to resign because he counted more votes for Biden than for Trump. Another senator has called the same secretary of state suggesting he throw out votes for Biden. You know, votes cast by black people.

Republicans don’t have integrity, don’t care about democracy, and don’t care about the truth. Don’t believe me? Let’s go grab dinner at Comet Pizza and ask them about it. Actually, I’m joking. I’d never have dinner with a Republican. I can’t eat while looking at you people.

Here’s a fact: Donald Trump will not be president after noon on January 20, 2021. Why? Because of the fact Joe Biden beat his ass in the presidential election. Donald Trump lost the election fair and square and there’s not enough Rudy bullshit in the world to change that fact.

Here’s an unfortunate fact: All these idiots who would rather believe in conspiracy theories about voter fraud, lizard people, devil worshippers, or Democratic pedophilic pizza makers, will still be around after Donald Trump is gone.

Another fun fact: Fuck COVID. I’m not going anywhere either.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

Watch me draw.

Tucker’s Lost Conspiracy


cjones11022020

You gotta be careful with where you put those conspiracies. They’re like car keys…or that one missing sock. Where’d it go? For me, it’s batteries. I’ll buy a pack of 20 batteries then when the remote dies, I can’t find the batteries. I go insane hunting for them until I finally give up and buy another package which also can’t be found six months later. I bet Hunter Biden’s taking them.

For the past few years, Rudy Giuliani has been on a Hunter Biden snipe hunt in Ukraine. And just like a real snipe hunt, Rudy hasn’t caught shit.

A snipe hunt is what you do to get the kids out of your hair while camping or hanging out with friends. You send the kids on a snipe hunt so you and the rest of the adults can get hammered or do whatever it is you don’t want the kids there to witness. The thing is, there is no such thing as a snipe. IF the kids are really stupid, they’ll be gone for hours. Don’t ask me how I know this. Come to think of it, I can’t think of a better way to get Rudy out of your hair than sending him an Eastern European snipe hunt. The only bad thing is, he comes back to go on Fox News to tell Hannity about the snipes he caught that we can’t see. Hannity gets excited about snipes. So does Tucker Carlson.

A few weeks ago, Rudy convinced The New York Post to run a story about Hunter Biden’s laptop which contained incriminating emails that implicated him in nefarious evil plots with his father, Joe Biden. The only problem was, there was no actual proof the laptop belonged to Hunter Biden.

No credible news outlets would take the story. Not even Fox News. The reporter who was forced to write the story for the Post refused to put his name on it. Later, a former associate of Hunter, Tony Bobulinski, turned up with “incriminating” documents proving Hunter is one bad dude and his father bwahahahahahahas with him.

Once again, no credible media outlets would touch the story. The documents were crap. The Wall Street Journal refused the story. But good ole Tucker Carlson came along and gave Bobabooey an interview on his crap show, which made a lot of conspiracy theorists say, “A-ha!” But of course, it was all a bunch of accusations without any proof. I mean, if allegations were proof, then Donald Trump is a rapist.

Then it got even weirder. On Wednesday night, Tucker claimed a shipment of “damning” documents being shipped to him had VANISHED!!! He wondered how such a nefarious thing could happen to a “trove of materials that are directly relevant to the presidential campaign that’s six days away.” Did the Satanic pedophiliac deep state intercept them in Wichita?

Then, on Thursday morning, Tucker said they had been found but there was still malfeasance. Somehow, the package had been opened and the flash drive containing all the evil Biden stuff had fallen out. Is UPS part of the deep state? Does Hillary drive a brown truck?

Of course, when you have such important documents incriminating a presidential candidate in evil plots, you make copies. Right? Right! And Tucker made copies. And……….he still hasn’t released the copies. While complaining about the documents disappearing, then reappearing while being shipped, he never once told us anything about what was in the documents.

For all we know, the documents are like that giant book given to Lesley Stahl by Kayleigh McEnany which she claimed contained Trump’s healthcare plan. The book was actually like 7,000 pages of Trump word salad. Unlike Tucker would do, Lesley opened the book.

Then, NBC reported that a 64-page dossier floating around on the dark web (4chan and Qanon) documenting a complex conspiracy involving Hunter Biden and China was actually authored by a fake persona. In case you’re a Republican…or you watch Tucker Carlson Tonight…or you are Tucker Carlson, “fake persona” means the person doesn’t exist. The documents are fake, bogus, bullshit. I’m so sorry.

The question is, was this 64-page fake dossier the documents Tucker was waiting on from UPS? If so, why didn’t he just download them off the internet? Why were they even shipped in the first place? This isn’t 1992. You can email files now. If the files are really large, you can share them through Google Drive. I know this from personal experience. I have a computer. It seems like the only reason you would actually ship documents is because you’re hoping to lose them or they get mangled in a sorting machine.

Not only do these Hunter stories not pass muster for real journalists, they don’t pass the stink test for bar gossip. Who, what, where, when, why? They don’t have any of that. And if you were pushing this stuff in a bar, the bartender should cut you off.

Tucker Carlson is not a journalist. He’s not even a good fearmonger. Now, Tucker says we should just forget about all of it and leave Hunter Biden alone. You know what that means, don’t you? It means Tucker actually looked at the documents, finally, and discovered they were so full of shit, they didn’t even meet his standards. Who’s researching this shit for Tucker? Does he have the same clerk as Brett Kavanaugh?

It’s too bad Tucker isn’t a journalist. If he was, he would have taken a look at the info before telling his viewers he had info. As it turned out, he had shit. Tucker promised and he didn’t deliver. He’s like Geraldo and Al Capone’s vault. He cracked the safe and found dirt and empty bottles.

When Geraldo opened Al Capone’s safe and struck out, he knew he failed. He went across the street and got “tequila drunk.” Geraldo knew he sold an empty promise and there was nothing journalistic about it. But it made for great ratings. Really. Thirty million people watched for two hours as Geraldo opened an empty box….kinda like those Republican California ballot boxes.

Tucker isn’t that aware. He’s just going to ignore this ever happened and jump on the next bullshit conspiracy theory…what is it now, illegal voters with mail-in ballots? Are they all brown? Is George Soros behind it?

Hey, maybe someone will mail him documents.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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