Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy Pox


cjones03102020

I would really love it if Democrats would stop sounding like Donald Trump supporters.

It’s bad enough that Vladimir Putin is helping Bernie Sanders because he believes that’s the best way to help Donald Trump. It’s just as bad that Bernie Bro’s are online dicks and trolls. And then, you even have Bernie complaining about the “establishment.”

Let’s make something perfectly clear. There is no grand conspiracy to “steal” the nomination from Bernie Sanders. Before Super Tuesday, he only had 58 delegates. That’s a long way from securing the nomination. Nobody is rigging the system against Bernie. And to show you just how stupid it is to play the conspiracy game about the DNC and Bernie, Donald Trump called the endorsements from Amy Klobuchar, Pete Buttigieg, and Beto O’Rourke a “coup” against Bernie.

Congratulations, Democratic conspiracy theorists. You’re on the same level of thinking and paranoia as Donald Trump. Voting or endorsing is not a coup. It’s democratic. It’s politics. Bernie would have to be the leader of the party and then thrown out in an illegal manner for it to be a coup. Donald Trump’s excuse for not knowing the definition of a coup is that he’s Donald Trump. If you’re a Democrat, you don’t have an excuse.

Donald Trump sandwiches his conspiracy theories about the DNC between his conspiracy theories about Ukraine election meddling and his conspiracy theories about Covid-19 being out to get him. Don’t be like Trump. You’re supposed to be better than that.

You don’t need a conspiracy to believe the majority of the party rejects a socialist who isn’t a member of the party. You don’t need a conspiracy theory that the majority doesn’t want to run a socialist against Donald Trump. You need a conspiracy theory to believe Beto O’Rourke, who is no longer in Congress, is a failed Senate candidate, and a failed presidential candidate represents the establishment.

The DNC didn’t give Joe Biden a huge win Tuesday night. Democratic voters did. If you really believe black voters, who solidly supported Joe Biden, are the establishment, then I challenge you to put that on a T-Shirt and sell it.

What happened Tuesday night may not have even been a sound rejection of Bernie Sanders as much as it was a mandate that the majority of voters are ready to move on to the nominee and start the campaign against Donald Trump. I don’t think there’s better proof of that than Elizabeth Warren coming in third in Massachusetts.

No, her constituents don’t hate her. They’re not sexist. They’re ready to move on. They saw that Warren doesn’t stand a chance to get the nomination so they put their eggs in baskets where they thought they’d be used better. Basically, her voters in her state didn’t view her as a candidate anymore. Hell, most of them would probably prefer her but she’s no longer in the game. Maybe on Tuesday, she finally got that message.

I like Bernie. I like Elizabeth. I would prefer one of them over Biden. But I get it. The party wants to move. And, you don’t have to like it. Just deal with reality. The thing is, it’s not important if Bernie, Liz or Joe is the President of the United States of America. What’s important is that Donald Trump is not. That’s the reality you need to get.

Take this from a guy who shouts at his television and talks to himself along with inanimate objects: Stop talking like you’re in the Trump cult…or I’ll call the truck and have them take you away.

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Is There A Corrupt Plan B?


CNN02162020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

After all that, sending Rudy to Ukraine to create conspiracy theories, to accuse the Bidens of corruption, to break the law by asking a foreign nation to help you politically, to withhold taxpayer military funding from an ally at war with an enemy, to lie, obstruct Congress, to go through all that corruption, and ultimately impeachment…and the guy you did it to beat probably won’t be the nominee.

Good job, dumbass.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Tinfoil Foiled


cjones12122019

The tinfoil hat club got foiled. They got hoisted on their own petard, not that any of them knows what “hoisted” means or what a “petard” is.

Since he “won” the election, Trump has been screaming that the Russia investigation was a huge hoax, never should have happened, a coup attempt, illegal, an attempt to overthrow the government, and an act of the deep state. He claimed Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. He appointed an Attorney General, William Barr, who would champion his conspiracy theories. Barr even said he believed there was spying in the Trump campaign. There was, but it wasn’t from an American agency. But they don’t want to talk about that because they invited that spying.

Do you remember before the Mueller Report came out how Republicans kept saying that we need to accept the findings if it proved Trump innocent? Well, it didn’t prove him innocent, but that’s not the point I’m making. William Barr appointed the Justice Department’s Inspector General to investigate the investigation that investigated the Trump campaign colluding with Russia. Now that the investigation is complete, Trump supporters don’t want to accept the findings. Even Barr, who made this investigation happen, doesn’t want to accept the findings.

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham, Tucker Carlson, and Sean Hannity all hailed that the report proved them right all along which proves they don’t actually read anything. William Barr released a statement saying, “The inspector general’s report now makes clear that the FBI launched an intrusive investigation of a U.S. presidential campaign on the thinnest of suspicions that, in my view, were insufficient to justify the steps taken.” Uh, no it didn’t.

Barr also said, “FBI officials misled the FISA court, omitted critical exculpatory facts from their filings, and suppressed or ignored information negating the reliability of their principal source.” Actually, that sounds like what Barr did when he presented a summary of the Mueller Report.

Donald Trump said the findings are “far worse than I ever thought possible,” which means he only read Barr’s statement.

What the IG report did was debunk their conspiracy theories. Other than discovering Ivanka Trump and Christopher Steele, who wrote the infamous dossier that mentions a pee tape and whom Trump and his cult have been attacking for years, had a friendship that was described as “personal,” we didn’t really learn anything from the report. And before I get too distracted, “bow-chicka-wow-wow?”

The report stated the Steele Dossier didn’t play a role in opening the investigation. While the report found faults in some warrant requests that used information from the Steele Dossier, the FBI started the investigation based on a tip it received days before about a Trump campaign adviser, George Papadopoulos, from a foreign ally, Australia. If you’re not wearing tinfoil on your head, you already knew this.

What is true is that our ally, Australia, was more concerned about protecting our national security from an attack from Russia than Donald Trump or his idiot son, Donald Trump Jr., was. While Australia was telling the FBI that Russians were spying on the Clinton campaign and giving the material to the Trump team, Don Jr. was inviting Russians into the campaign headquarters. If you haven’t been drinking the Trump cult Kool-Aid, you already knew this.

Trump and his cult have repeatedly attacked Lisa Page, a former FBI lawyer, and Peter Strzok, a former top FBI agent, who were both removed from the Russia investigation after text messages uncovered between the two showed “hostility” toward Trump during his candidacy. But, Page didn’t have any role in opening the investigation and Strzok was not the man in charge of it. Deep-state conspiracy theory foiled. No political bias was used in the investigation. If you don’t have your head buried up Trump’s ass, you already knew this.

The report didn’t mention Obama wiretapping Trump Tower which is a claim Trump made shortly after he assumed office, but never corroborated. It was a Trump lie. Another detail that foils the tinfoil hat club is there was only one member of the Trump campaign the FBI was wiretapping. That was Carter Page. They didn’t even request warrants on George Papadopoulos, campaign chairman Paul Manafort or Michael Flynn, who all had connections to Russia. If you’re not a Fox News viewer, you already knew this.

The FBI did not plant spies in the Trump Campaign. What the report found is there were members of the campaign who sent information to the FBI, but none of that affected the investigation because all that information was all over the internet.

When Russia attacks our election, we need to investigate it. What we shouldn’t do is attack the investigators. What we shouldn’t do is defend Russia. Donald Trump, William Barr, the idiots at Fox News, and your idiot tinfoil-hat-wearing, attic-dwelling uncle whom you hate having over for Thanksgiving have spent the past three years defending Russia and putting Putin before America.

William Barr didn’t have the Inspector General investigate the investigation to produce facts. He created it to support Trump’s conspiracy theories. If you read Barr’s statements on the IG report, you’ll see he’s only talking to Donald Trump. He’s ignoring a report he demanded from his own department.

There is not a deep state. What we can take solace from is that there are still honest and ethical people in the government who will defy the cult members Trump has appointed.

There is not a deep state. There are no chemtrails. Obama did not bug Trump Tower. Uranium One has been debunked. The Clintons didn’t kill Jeffrey Epstein. There weren’t millions of illegal voters. Obama was born in the United States. Hillary Clinton didn’t run a child-sex-slave ring in a Washington pizza joint. It was Russia, not Ukraine, that meddled in the 2016 election. There are no lizard people.

What we do know from the report is that Donald Trump and William Barr are liars who will use government resources to rig the system. But, if you don’t watch Fox News, drink the Trump cult Kool-Aid, wear a tinfoil hat, or have your head buried up Trump’s ass, you already knew that.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Ruh-Roh Rudy


cjones12092019

While on his “rogue” tour of Europe seeking conspiracy theories to aid Trump’s reelection and impeachment defense, Rudy Giuliani blew the “no quid pro quo” defense out of the water.

From Ukraine, where he refused to admit he was after admitting he was there, Rudy tweeted, “The conversation about corruption in Ukraine was based on compelling evidence of criminal conduct by then VP Biden, in 2016, that has not been resolved and until it is will be a major obstacle … to the US assisting Ukraine with its anti-corruption reforms.”

In case you’re a Republican, let me point out where he blew up your defense. He said if Biden’s “criminal conduct” isn’t resolved, then it will be a “major obstacle” to the U.S. assisting Ukraine with anti-corruption reforms. He’s demanding a quid pro quo for made-up dirt on Joe Biden.

First, there is no evidence that Joe Biden, or even Hunter, engaged in any corruption. If Rudy has evidence of that then he should reveal it. Second, it doesn’t help the argument that Trump didn’t seek election help from a foreign nation while his private goon is skulking across foreign nations seeking election help. And, he’s doing it during the impeachment inquiry. Third, during the conversation Rudy is referring to, Trump never said the word “corruption.”

Seriously, if Rudy Giuliani is your knight in shining armor you’re depending on to save you, you’re pretty much fucked. Maybe better proof that Trump isn’t all there mentally than his rant about flushing toilets is his continued reliance on Rudy Giuliani.

When asked by The Blaze’s Eric Bolling ( who may or may not have been fired from Fox News for sending pics to staffers of his penis), if he was in Ukraine, Rudy said, “I am not here to…I don’t have to defend myself.”

Traveling while producing a documentary for a right-wing network that’s not Fox News, Rudy wouldn’t confirm he’s in Ukraine, but several Ukrainian conspiracy theorists tweeted photos of them hanging out with the former mayor. He also met with pro-Russian Ukrainians who support that nation’s annexation of Crimea. And, he met with the prosecutor whom the entire western world considered corrupt. Rudy calling for investigations into corruption while hanging out with corrupt people is kinda like Donald Trump promising to drain the swamp. If these guys were looking for Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman’s killer, they’d hire O.J. to conduct the investigation.

Part of the Republicans’ defense against impeachment are conspiracy theories. They are trying to build a case that Joe Biden is corrupt and that Ukraine meddled in our 2016 election, neither of which has any evidence to support it.

Some Republicans who aren’t totally insane are not happy with Rudy’s “meddling” in Ukraine. Dan Eberhart, a prominent Republican donor and Trump supporter, said, “The fact that Giuliani is back in Ukraine is like a murder suspect returning to the crime scene to live-stream themselves moon dancing.”

This is Trump and Giuliani’s narcissism. They’re refusing to admit they did something wrong, so they’re defending themselves by doubling down, doing it again and tweeting out photos of it. It’d be like Eric Bolling texting, “I never sent anyone any wiener pics” in a text with a wiener pic.

These people are idiots. The man in charge of Trump’s Ukraine mission conducts a call with Trump on a cell phone in a Russian hot spot for spies, Rudy won’t say he’s in Ukraine while the people he’s meeting in that nation are tweeting out photos of it, they tell us there’s no quid pro quo while demanding a quid pro quo, and Devin Nunes is sitting on a panel investigating this scam after he participated in it.

When Scooby and the gang pull off the mask of this monster, the villain will be Trump…or Devin Nunes…or Rudy Giuliani…or…

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Putin’s Minions


cjones12052019

Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana is not a stupid man. If you’ve seen him question Trump’s nominees to the judiciary, you know he’s no Cindy Hyde-Smith. But if you’ve seen him on news shows recently talking about foreign governments meddling in the 2016 presidential election, you’ll think he’s very confused.

A week ago, he went on Fox News and said Ukraine meddled in the election in favor of Hillary Clinton. The next day, he went on CNN and said he couldn’t understand the questions on Fox and he misspoke. Russia was the only nation that meddled in the election. Last week, he was stating it was Russia AND Ukraine. He said it was a “fact” that Ukraine’s former president got involved in our last election to help Hillary Clinton.

It’s not true. Sure, a lot of Ukrainian government officials weren’t in love with Donald Trump, a candidate who didn’t just express an affinity for Russian President Vladimir Putin, but also indicated he didn’t have any problem with that nation invading and taking land from Ukraine. Of course, they didn’t like Donald Trump. Not liking someone is not proof of meddling. If it was, then nearly every world leader meddled in the last election (in case you’re a Republican, it’s because most world leaders don’t like Donald Trump).

There is no proof, nothing, nada, zip, that Ukraine meddled in our last election. There are no “facts” that support Kennedy’s claim that the former President of Ukraine got involved in the presidential election. None. Every intelligence agency of the United States has stated Russia meddled in the election. At this very moment, there are court cases proceeding against Russians in this nation for meddling in our election. There are none against Ukrainians. Fact, fact, fuckity fact. And, John Kennedy knows this. He knows it well. Since Kennedy knows this, and he’s not an idiot, yet he keeps saying something that’s not true, what is the explanation?

Easy. Senator John Kennedy is a coward.

John Kennedy is afraid of Donald Trump. More to the point, he’s afraid of the Trump cult. Every Republican’s worst nightmare is that Donald Trump will send a nasty tweet their way and they’ll end up like South Carolina’s Mark Sanford. It’s why Lindsey Graham doesn’t have principles anymore. It’s why Ted Cruz is fine with Trump insulting his wife’s looks. It’s why Mitch McConnell is now Moscow Mitch. Now, we Kremlin Kennedy.

John Kennedy is a coward afraid of Trump, but his support of this idiotic conspiracy theory also aids Vladimir Putin. Putin is the creator of this conspiracy theory. There are no facts to support it which is OK for Donald Trump, but Kennedy? John Kennedy is a smart man. He shares a name with a greater man who stood up to Russia. He’s a Senator in my home state. He should be better than this. He’s telling us he’s not. He would rather serve Putin in his cowardice than represent his constituents and defend America.

America deserves better than these Vichy Republicans who will sacrifice their nation for the Trump cult. The only reason their spines don’t break from the constant bending over is that they don’t have any. Yesterday, Republicans issued a report that was over 100 pages, full of lies, exonerating Trump asking a foreign nation to meddle in our next election.

Trump asked a foreign nation to meddle in our last election (Russia, if you’re listening). Recently, he asked another to meddle in our next election. Republicans are looking at the facts that he cheated once and attempted to cheat again, and are now saying let him go ahead and play the game.

I thought the Minions in Despicable Me were cute as hell when that film first came out. After the subpar sequels, their own spinoff film, and trillions of memes and products, I hate them. They’re everywhere and it’s not cute anymore. But yet, they’re not as annoying as Putin’s Republican minions who are also everywhere.

Republicans like John Kennedy should stop being minions and be representatives serving our nation. Stop serving Putin. And trust me on this, it’s not cute and it never was.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Tinfoil Hat Club


cjones08202019

Here’s a quick little bonus cartoon I thought would be fun to draw. I didn’t need to draw this cartoon since I already covered the issue, but some of my clients and readers may prefer to publish and share this one. Mostly, I just wanted another shot at drawing a tinfoil hat and this time in the shape of the way I caricature Trump’s stupid combover.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Conspiracy-Theorist-in-Chief


cjones08192019

You have to give Trump supporters credit in one area. They’re really consistent with being inconsistent.

The same people who were crying that Democrats were politicizing murders after the mass shootings in Gilroy, El Paso, and Dayton are silent or defending the president of the United States spreading conspiracy theories after the suicide of pedophile and accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, if they’re not spreading those conspiracy theories themselves.

Republicans have been promoting conspiracy theories about the Clintons being murderers or having people killed since 1993. The “Clinton Body Count” is very popular with the sect of conservatives who don’t need evidence or logic to base an opinion. So, it was no surprise that within minutes of it being reported that Epstein had committed suicide in a federal detention center that memes accusing the Clintons of murder flooded the internet, as well as #ClintonBodyCount trending on Twitter.

For some reason, the people who couldn’t hide a consensual sex act between Bill Clinton and an intern can successfully cover-up dozens of high-profile murders. Also, one has to be a moron to first look at the Clintons as being the perpetrators of a murder disguised as a suicide of a person in the custody of Donald Trump’s Justice Department.

So of course, since only morons propagate this bullshit, Donald Trump contributed to propagating this bullshit.

Bill Clinton had very real ties to the registered sex offender billionaire, as did Donald Trump. Clinton did fly several times on Epstein’s private jet, though none of those trips appear to have been to Epstein’s notorious private island which is really popular for the Trump cult to discuss. Donald Trump also had connections, even flying on the same plane and having been accused of committing rape on a minor at an Epstein party. None of this means either of those men had Epstein killed.

Republicans have long been defending Trump’s racism and stupidity. Kellyanne Conway took to the networks to say Trump was only saying there are questions that need to be asked. OK, then. Why doesn’t he ask the people who work under him instead of retweeting a right-wing conspiracy theorist? Other conservatives have complained about the media labeling this as a conspiracy theory and that their doing so isn’t journalism. It’s funny that people who can’t identify a conspiracy theory, as this fits Webster’s definition of one, are judges of what qualifies as journalism.

Trump was a conspiracy theorist long before he ran for president. He was the biggest champion of the birther campaign, that President Obama was ineligible to be president because he was born in Kenya. He helped push a conspiracy theory that Ted Cruz’s father was involved in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. He has claimed climate change is a hoax created by China. He floated the idea that it wasn’t Russia hacking the DNC, but some fat guy on a bed in New Jersey. He claimed President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. He’s pushed the deep-state theories. And now, he’s pushing the theory that the Clintons killed someone his government was responsible for.

Donald Trump is irresponsible and he doesn’t care about ramifications of his tweets and words, whether it’s mass shootings or feeding distrust of the government on fucknut message boards like 8Chan, which is populated by QAnon conspiracy theorists. But, maybe Trump is actually stupid or mentally unbalanced enough to believe in these conspiracy theories. The man has access to the best information resources on the planet, and he refuses to use them, preferring the beliefs of the chemtrail crowd, Vladimir Putin, and Kim Jong Un.

Former Trump staffer and supporter Anthony Scaramucci has now endorsed there at least be a discussion of replacing Trump on the ticket. Hey, Mooch. This conspiracy, destabilizing stuff from Trump isn’t new. We’ve been saying this since he started the birther crap years ago. He’s not any more unstable today than he was in 2014. But, thanks for taking a wobbly stand after all this time.

The spreading of lies, even absurd and easily-debunked conspiracy theories smack of tinpot, fascist dictator tactics. Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi, who once literally pitched a tent on property owned by Donald Trump, claimed those rebelling against him were wayward 17-year-olds, “given pills at night, hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe”. During Arab Spring, the Egyptian government accused dissenters of being enticed by Kentucky Fried Chicken. North Korea has told their citizens that Japan literally stole time and used that argument to set their clocks back 30 minutes. Also, Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger. Putin has told the world that the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan to protect itself from terrorism, a lie Trump has repeated.

People who unquestionably believe leaders are followers of a cult. While it’s nice that Scarammuci has left the cult, at least temporarily, the rest of the Republican party is still on the Kool-Aid.

For the sake of their nation, Trump supporters need to stop believing this man is anything other than an unstable, racist, sexist, lying, narcissistic idiot who shouldn’t be allowed to drive a golf cart, less enough direct a nation.

Journalists and even private individuals on social media need to practice responsibility when it comes to conspiracy theories. Wait for facts. For a president, facts should be a priority, not Twitter memes that rile up a racist, stupid base of supporters.

We’re supposed to be better than this. Start acting better than this. Be better than Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.