Donald Trump stopped by a pizza place in Fort Myers, Florida on Friday, ordered a pizza, took a bite out of a slice, and asked the adoring mob, “Does anybody want a piece that I’ve eaten?”. The entire mob said in unison (in case you’re a Republican, “unison” means at the same time), “No.”

Quite frankly, the most impressive thing from the entire ordeal is that Trump didn’t knife-and-fork it…or stack slices on top of each other, or do it at Domino’s. I’m also surprised that since Byron Donalds was with him, he didn’t take the slice with bite marks in it.

The crowd in the pizza parlor was made up of his supporters, as they were chanting his name, but even they didn’t want to eat a slice of pizza his nasty lips and dentures had been on. Ew. Maybe he would have had some takers at one of his rallies.

Perhaps the biggest takeaway from this is that Trump does this while his main opponent, Ron DeSantis, couldn’t do this.

DeSantis is Trump’s main primary opponent despite the fact Boots DePuddinFingers isn’t an official candidate yet. Donald Trump isn’t running attack ads against Nikki Haley or Tim Scott, or that other guy running…or that other one. But he’s running them against DeSantis and comparing his proposals to cut Social Security and Medicare to him eating pudding with his fingers. The commercial is gross, funny, and actually effective. But why is Trump going after DeSantis? Is it pride? Is it vanity? Is it because DeSantis can accomplish more than he can? Is it because DeSantis has been a very effective governor (in a bad way, but still effective)? You have to ask these questions, not just because DeSantis isn’t in the race yet but because Trump is way ahead of DeSantis in polls.

It’s like pizza versus pudding. Which would you rather have? Pizza beats pudding by a long shot. Granted, most people would prefer a slice that an orange racist Oompa-Loompa hasn’t licked, but still, we like pizza more than we like pudding.

The reason Donald Trump is attacking DeSantis, and spending campaign money on this has already been answered. While polls show he’s ahead, they also show that most people believe DeSantis would have a better shot at beating President Biden than Trump would. Sure, it’s early in Campaign 2024, but it’s never too early to fundraise. These commercials are not for you or the typical trailer-dwelling MAGAt. They’re for Republicans with the big bucks. If Trump can mock and make DeSantis look ridiculous and someone who can’t be taken seriously early on, then he’ll never get his feet planted in the race.

And how bad do you have to be to come off as ridiculous compared to Donald Trump? First, you eat pudding with your fingers and then, you go parading wearing high white boots with heels. Yup, that’ll do it.

As for the Trump-bitten pizza, I’m with Pizza Rat. I’d rather eat off the floor of a New York City subway station than eat a slice Donald Trump’s taken a bit out of. At any rate, even if you’re in New York City, the slice Trump hands you would probably be from Sbarro.

And even though DeSantis has all the charm and personality of a half-eaten cold pizza on the floor of a subway station, he still scares Trump.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: