MAGA

Nazis Are Bad


cjones09152018

Last week during President Obama’s speech in Illinois, I tweeted, “There’s a black guy speaking on TV with total clarity and coherence. What the hell is this shit?” It received a lot of responses from people who miss a president who is eloquent, dignified, doesn’t engage in temper tantrums and childish insults, and can speak in complete sentences. The ability to enunciate probably threw quite a few people off.

Obama took several swipes at Trump’s presidency and asked at one point, “how hard can that be, saying Nazis are bad?”

Trump responded, but not by saying “Nazis are bad.” In fact, according to Bob Woodward’s book, Fear, when Trump finally did make a statement criticizing white supremacists after his speech praising Nazis, he said to then-staff secretary Rob Porter, “That was the biggest f—ing mistake I’ve made. You never make those concessions. You never apologize. I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. Why look weak? I can’t believe I got forced to do that. That’s the worst speech I’ve ever given. I’m never going to do anything like that again.”

That example may be the biggest difference between Obama and Trump. Obama can say “Nazis are bad.” Trump praises them and later says he didn’t do anything wrong.

Trump claimed he fell asleep during Obama’s speech, which is something he probably does during security briefings. But, the old man who has trouble staying awake if it’s not Fox News must have caught some of it. He was visibly upset over Obama pointing out that this economic recovery began under his watch.

Trump tweeted, “‘President Trump would need a magic wand to get to 4% GDP,’ stated President Obama. I guess I have a magic wand, 4.2%, and we will do MUCH better than this! We have just begun.” Only problem is, Obama never said that.

He also tweeted, “If the Democrats had won the Election in 2016, GDP, which was about 1% and going down, would have been minus 4% instead of up 4.2%.” That is another lie. In fact, the GDP had risen higher under Obama than it ever has under Trump.

Trump retweeted former Congressman Jason Chaffetz who said, “Barack Obama talked a lot about hope, but Donald Trump delivered the American Dream. All the economic indicators, what’s happening overseas, Donald Trump has proven to be far more successful than Barack Obama. President Trump is delivering the American Dream.” Of course, there’s no substance to that and it’s all just Trump booty kissing. Chaffetz, if you recall, said he wouldn’t be able to look his 15-year-old daughter in the eye and explain why he supported Trump after the Access Hollywood tape came out. Nineteen days later, he endorsed Trump. Hopefully, for Chaffetz, he’s as good at gaslighting his daughter as Trump is with his supporters.

What Republicans conveniently forget is that they gave us a recession. It may have been the worst since the Great Depression. They also forget that Obama pulled us out of it with them fighting every measure he implemented to improve the economy. Today, they claim how horrible Obama was for the economy while giving Trump credit for the job he did.

Isn’t that just like Republicans? A black guy does a great job, and they give the credit to an old white dude. I always ask Trump supporters, if Obama was so bad then why are you taking all the credit for the job he did? They, being gaslighted, are convinced the economic recovery began January 21, 2017.

Republicans are just as bad with facts as they are at saying “Nazis are bad.” But then again, it’s hard to admit when you’re bad.

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The Great Fabricator


cjones07172018

In Cool Runnings, the movie about the Jamaican bobsled team, one character says to another, “whatever is wrong with you is no little thing.” Whatever is wrong with Donald Trump may be a mystery, but it’s definitely not a small problem.

Despite being president of the United States of America, Trump is extremely insecure. Someone didn’t love him enough as a child. What started as a whirlwind publicity tour to convince people with mediocre cognitive skills that simplicity was greatness, turned into a presidential administration. The publicity tour to promote himself continues. Trump tells us on a daily basis how great he is. But, to sell the idea that Trump is great, you gotta make up a lot of stuff.

Trump lies. That’s a well-known fact. He tells huge, preposterous whoppers that can be easily fact checked, like biggest electoral win ever, the largest crowd size, and poll numbers. Last week, he didn’t just lie about a poll, he even created one out of the figment of his tiny imagination.

Trump told the British tabloid, The Sun, “You know, a poll just came out that I am the most popular person in the history of the Republican Party, beating Lincoln. I beat our Honest Abe.”

Trump is popular with Republicans, who are also really fond of putting babies in jail. A recent poll has him at 90% with Republicans. Trump has to create a poll to claim he’s more popular than Lincoln, as the only polling back then were election results, which Lincoln won two of (and the popular vote both times). But, Trump is probably right. Today, Republicans are not the party of Lincoln, and they would probably prefer a wannabe authoritarian presiding over a kakistocracy over a great emancipator rebuilding a democratic republic.

If you want to compare Trump’s popularity today to Lincoln’s during his time in office, you have to remember the nation was divided then too. While today, we talk about a virtual civil war between blue and red states, Lincoln’s America was in a literal civil war. Half the nation hated Lincoln if you only count white people.

It’s not surprising that Trump would compare himself to someone he doesn’t even deserve to share a sentence with. Lincoln was known as Honest Abe, where honesty, truth, and facts are never associated with Donald Trump.

The other dissonance between the two is that one was trying to save the union while the other builds himself up by tearing it apart. Trump isn’t just a divisive figure; he seeks to be divisive to throw red meat to his racist base of support. He creates problems where they don’t exist and later gives himself credit for solving them, which he doesn’t.

Trump also told The Sun that the British people love him. That claim, despite a recent poll putting his disapproval in the UK at 72%, and over 250,000 people and a giant Trump Baby blimp protesting his racist orange ass in London over the weekend. England hates Trump so much, that Green Day’s 14-year-old song American Idiot was pushed to the top of streaming charts in the UK to send Trump a message. England hates Trump so much, they’ll play Green Day.

In the future, I expect we’ll hear more comparisons between Lincoln and Trump. Lincoln was our first Republican president, and Trump may be our last.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Hating By The Slice


cjones07152018

The best thing I can say about Papa John’s pizza is that it’s better than Domino’s. But, I can also say that when they deliver pizzas, at least they’re not dragging black people behind their cars.

Where in the hell did I get that from? I’m thinking that has to be the point Papa John himself, John Schnatter was making when he said, that where he grew up people used to kill black people by dragging them behind trucks.

Schnatter got in trouble last November when he complained that black NFL players protesting during the national anthem were hurting his pizza sales. After his comments were praised by white supremacists, the NFL severed their sponsorship deal with Papa, and he was forced to step down as CEO from the company he founded in a broom closet in his father’s tavern (there’s nothing in my broom closet except a broom).

Schnatter is a supporter of Donald Trump (shocking) and once complained that Obamacare could raise the price of his pizzas up to 14 cents per pie. Corporate America would rather you die from cancer than be forced to pay two cents more for a slice of pizza.

Because of Papa’s comments on the NFL protests, he had to participate in sensitivity training by a marketing agency, which was conducted through conference calls. It was during one of these sensitivity training sessions where Papa dropped an N-bomb. Seriously. That’s like saying “nice rack” during a sexual harassment seminar. I’m thinking he didn’t get a certificate that day for successfully completing the program.

During that call, he was asked how he would distance himself from racist groups online. For some reason, his answer was that “Colonel Sanders called blacks n——-s,” and Kentucky Fried Chicken never got in trouble for it. That sounds like the I’m-not-a-racist defense one would find on an online racist group.

I don’t know if the racist comment by the Colonel is true, but even if it is, are we talking about five decades ago? Also, what point is he making? And then, he continued with the statement about black people being killed by being dragged behind trucks. Maybe he was trying to impress the sensitivity person by pointing out that he has never killed a black person, at least not by dragging them behind a truck.

What Papa ate after that was not pizza. He had to step down from the board of trustees at the University of Louisville and resigned as chairman of the board of Papa John’s. Major League Baseball indefinitely suspended its Papa Slam promotion where fans get discounts after grand slam home runs. Then, Papa John’s Pizza shares tanked by nearly five percent on Wednesday, wiping out $96.2 million in market value, which proves Donald Trump isn’t the only executive who can wipe out the stock market with a racist comment.

The stadium at Louisville is still named after Papa John’s, but we’ll see how long that lasts.

Papa issued a statement confirming the comments and apologizing. It read, “News reports attributing the use of inappropriate and hurtful language to me during a media training session regarding race are true. Regardless of the context, I apologize. Simply stated, racism has no place in our society.”

Racism doesn’t have a place in our society, and I don’t want it on my pizza either.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

This Is MAGA


cjones06242018

A recent Quinnipiac Poll states 65% of American voters oppose the Trump policy of separating migrant children from their parents. The same study finds 55% of Republican voters are heartless, inhumane, unsympathetic, troglodyte, subhuman mongrels you don’t want to be stuck in an elevator with.

And there you have it. The majority of Trump supporters and MAGA heads love the idea of tearing brown families apart. It’s why Attorney General Jeff Sessions is giddy when explaining the hateful policy. It’s why Trump adviser and white supremacist advocate Stephen Miller is taking credit for the idea. It’s why Director of Homeland Security, whose first name is as traditional Native American as Sacagawea and Pocahontas, Kirstjen Nielson can claim she’s totally unaware of pictures, videos, and recordings of these children crying for their mothers. When I was a kid, Jaws scared the hell out of me but I couldn’t forget I saw it.

A racist base is why the President of the United States, who has married two immigrants, can shed all appearances of governing for all the people, and hold migrant children hostage until Congress gives him ten billion dollars to break his campaign promise of Mexico paying for it, and build a wall on the border with Mexico. Hillary was right. These people are deplorable, and they’re proud of it. Trump his holding the children hostage and blaming Democrats for making him do it.  This policy is so heartless and inhumane, that even Ted Cruz is against it and trying to stop it.

The New York Times editorial board asks, “when did caging kids become the art of the deal?”

The thing is, Trump can stop this. He can stop it right now. He doesn’t need legislation to stop ripping families apart. George W. Bush and Barack Obama governed under the same law, and they didn’t go to town ripping families apart, stacking the kids in cages in abandoned box stores, and making plans to place them in tent prisons to share in the desert with Gila Monsters.

Jeff Sessions said it’s unfair to compare this situation to how Jews were treated in Nazi Germany, because “the Nazis were keeping the Jews from leaving the country.” Yes. The Nazis loved the Jews so much, they were begging them not to leave Germany. Please don’t go, Jews. No. That’s not right and someone buy the Attorney General a history book. The Nazis actually shipped them out of Germany in death trains. But he does have a point about the comparison. We’re not gassing these immigrants or tearing out their fillings to melt down and store the gold in Switzerland, so at least there’s that.

Last week, Trump endorsed South Carolina Congressman Mark Sanford’s opponent in the Republican primary because Sanford “wouldn’t help him MAGA,” make America great again. That wasn’t true. Sanford was MAGAing all over the place. Trump just didn’t like Sanford’s public opinion he should release his tax returns.

What is “MAGA?” MAGA is returning America to when white people had full control over government policy (which it never really lost). MAGA is making white people feel like someone is protecting them from being disenfranchised. MAGA is gaslighting and using the Joseph Goebbels method of propaganda. MAGA is emboldening white supremacists and Nazis to crawl out of the sewers where they’ve been hiding and bask in the sunlight. MAGA is being able to listen to children cry for their parents and not want to do anything to help them. MAGA is hearing those cries and continuing to use them as political leverage.

Trump ran a campaign on racism. He accused Mexico of sending their worst people to the U.S. and called them “rapists” and “murderers” minutes after riding slowly down the escalator to announce his candidacy. He said being of Mexican descent was why a judge was unfit to sit on one of his many lawsuits.

Trump said, “I hate the children are being taken away.” He could have stopped at, “I hate the children.”

Watch Me Draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Free Kool-Aid


cjones06192018

Join the cult, get free Kool-Aid. Disclaimer: The Kool-Aid isn’t really free.

Representative Mark Sanford was hit by an air strike, and kinda-sorta literally. Direct from Air Force One on his return home from his Singapore photo-op with dictators and saluting North Korean generals, Donald Trump bombed the South Carolina Republican’s re-election bid.

With about four hours left to vote in South Carolina, Trump tweeted, “Mark Sanford has been very unhelpful to me in my campaign to MAGA. He is MIA and nothing but trouble. He is better off in Argentina.” The Argentina line was about Sanford’s affair with an Argentinian. Trump criticizing someone for an extramarital affair would be like Bill Clinton attacking someone for leaving DNA on a blue dress. But, Trump’s attack worked.

Sanford narrowly lost his primary and will now be leaving Congress. And what did Sanford do to not help Trump “MAGA” and be nothing but trouble? It wasn’t voting against Trump’s agenda as he fully supported that. He criticized Trump’s character and called for him to release his tax returns. Apparently, saying anything negative about Trump is sacrilege to the Church of Trump.

Two other candidates who MAGA won primaries on Tuesday despite one being aligned with white supremacists and the other being a pimp. Seriously.

Retiring Senator Bob Corker said the GOP was looking less like a party and more like a cult. He’s not wrong. Have you talked to a Trump sycophant or followed any on social media? Even if you have, you probably can’t understand their motivation. I have tried by asking them, but admittedly, approaching them with “hey, why are you a sycophant” hasn’t produced the best reaction.

Corker is right. Republican lawmakers express privately their dislike for Trump but won’t criticize him publicly. They’re afraid of an angry tweet and the wrath of his voters.

But why has the Republican Party become the party of Trump?

Their motivation is not policy. They don’t care about family values, high deficits, or even if the president takes a lot of golf vacations, all stuff they used to care about. They don’t care about broken promises as they’re all going to pay for the wall on the Mexican border if it’s ever actually built. They hated the Iran deal which contained specifics, stipulations, held that accountable, and actually prevented them from building a nuclear weapon, but they love Trump’s deal with North Korea which doesn’t contain any guarantees.

They don’t really care about draining the swamp as Trump won’t fire Mr. Swamp Thing himself, Scott Pruitt. They don’t care about pay-for-play as Trump and his kids are making money off the presidency. Don’t ask any of them about emoluments as they probably couldn’t spell it let alone define it.

Do they worship at the Trump altar because he’s a great businessman despite multiple bankruptcies with many of them being scams? Do they love him because he supports the troops despite his draft deferments and attacks on POWs and Gold Star families? They hate the Clinton Foundation but that’s not it either as they ignore the Trump Foundation being a slush fund for Trump to purchase paintings of himself.

Maybe it’s the great economy and job numbers which he inherited from Obama. Is it the details of his policies, which is usually just “replace with something better?” Do Trump supporters really love Russia and desire jobs in China?

It’s not because Trump champions freedom because he calls the press our “biggest enemy.” It’s not because he cherishes our greatest alliances as he’s attacked Canada, Germany, and NATO. It’s not because he’s a devout Christian because he doesn’t go to church.

It can’t be because of his intelligence, personality, charm, wit, or accomplishments because he doesn’t have any. Most of all, it’s not because he’s going to take care of them because he doesn’t really care about them. His tariffs are going to hit his followers in the Midwest the hardest. His tax cuts mostly help rich people like himself and his children, don’t expire for corporations, but they expire for you.

It can’t be because he respects women, as he’s personally attacked them verbally and physically. It can’t be his concern for your children as he endorsed a pedophile for the United States Senate.

It can’t be because he’s honest. It’s not his desire to build bridges as he spends a lot of encouraging divisiveness. It’s not because he hires the best people.

I don’t think it’s the racism. Yeah, he’s a birther, attacks Mexicans, Muslims, compliments Nazis, retweets white supremacists and anti-Semites, believes minorities are monolithic, and endorses other racists for office. I always thought people loved Trump despite his bigotry. Sure, racism isn’t a deal breaker for any Trump supporter and the biggest reason for others, but I’d hate to think there are over 60 million Americans voting for a guy because of it.

So, sycophants? What is it? Why? Why have you pledged your loyalty to such a huge disaster of a human being, a man who more a collection of bad traits than an actual human being? This is a person with so much to overlook, ignore, or excuse to support. So, I ask again….why?

It must be the Kool-Aid.

Watch me draw.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Thanks For Nothing


cjones01012018

I have a very low tolerance for right-wing baloney (I didn’t want to start this column off with a curse word in the first sentence). Lies in politics that are repeated again and again annoy me. But, just downright balls-deep stupid bullshit (there it is) pisses me off to no end.

I’m not talking about your average common Trump supporting stupid like, “make America great again,” or not understanding the difference between climate and weather and thinking because it’s cold in late December then Climate Change is a hoax. I’m talking about the special inbred type of Republican stupid where you give credit to Donald Trump for shit he didn’t do.

People who follow me on social media are aware that I’m extremely nauseated over a new commercial that’s “thanking President” Trump. Yeah, I’m aware where I put those quotation marks.

Did I mention this ad is nauseating? It’s more face-green-gag-inducing than witnessing Mike Pence on a Trump ass-kissing bender.

In this commercial paid for by America Policies, a non-profit started by former Trump campaign aides “dedicated to promoting the president’s agenda,” people who look like everyday working Americans are thanking “President Trump.”

In the commercial, someone thanks “President Trump” for “making America great again.” Another dipshit thanks “President Trump” for “fixing our economy.” We get a goober thanking “President Trump” for “reminding us to stand for our national anthem.” Are you feeling queasy yet? It gets better.

First off, fuckers, you don’t make America great again by defending Nazis and endorsing pedophiles. Second, Trump has not “fixed” our economy. That credit belongs to President Barack Obama who was left a mess by our last Republican president. Third, if you have to be reminded to stand for our national anthem then what sort of patriot are you? Do you really need Donald Trump to remind you? Goober says “as a veteran” he’s glad…blah blah blah. As a veteran, your first hint is when the music starts.

All that horseshit aside, the very worst, most despicable part of the commercial is when an adorable little girl says “thank you, President Trump for letting us say ‘Merry Christmas’ again.”

Why is this child being exploited for political gain? Who’s her daddy, Ted Cruz? Can we stop raising children to be stupid? We have enough dumb adults. Do I need to call Protective Services?

There is no war on Christmas. There was never and there never will be. There is no persecution of Christians in this nation. Nor, is there discrimination against old, conservative white guys. There just happens to be a lot of old, conservative white guys running around who are butt-hurt.

Barack Obama never ordered, told, or hinted that we couldn’t say “Merry Christmas.” In fact, he said it several times himself. So, there is no “again” to use being allowed to say “Merry Christmas.” And seriously, is the child being fed? Has she had all her vaccinations?

Donald Trump did not save Christmas. Donald Trump did not and does not “LET” you say “Merry Christmas.” No president can tell you not to say “Merry Christmas,” or restrict you from it. This is the stupid that pisses me off.

I started the day being annoyed that conservatives believe Trump increased monthly Social Security payments by two percent (the president doesn’t do that either. It’s adjusted for inflation), but this Christmas thing pushed me over the edge. It pisses me off more than Hall & Oates version of Jingle Bell Rock (do NOT click that link. Don’t you do it. You did it. Oh sure, somehow it’s my fault).

But, if you wanna thank Trump, then by god, let’s thank Donald Trump.

Thank you, President Trump for defending Nazis.

Thank you, President Trump for endorsing a pedophile.

Thank you, President Trump for retweeting racist videos from European hate groups.

Thank you, President Trump for lying every day of your administration.

Thank you, President Trump for increasing the deficit.

Thank you, President Trump for giving billionaires tax deductions for yachts and private jets, and for taking deductions away from teachers when they pay for school supplies.

Thank you, President Trump for recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and taking us out of the Middle-East Peace process.

Thank you, President Trump for making us the only nation that is not a part of the Paris Climate Accord.

Thank you, President Trump for ignoring science.

Thank you, President Trump for taking us closer to nuclear war with North Korea.

Thank you, President Trump for spending over $42 million of our money for your golf retreats.

Thank you, President Trump for the nepotism.

Thank you, President Trump for lying about crowd sizes and voter fraud.

Thank you, President Trump for wasting our money on a fraudulent commission to investigate your fraudulent claim of voter fraud.

Thank you, President Trump for profiting from your office.

Thank you, President Trump for attacking law enforcement.

Thank you, President Trump for attacking women, minorities, and Broadway plays.

Thank you, President Trump for demanding loyalty and pressuring the Justice Department to go after your political enemies.

Thank you, President Trump for ten days of Anthony Scaramucci. Seriously, thank you. I got some mileage out of that one.

Thank you, President Trump for sharing classified information with Russians in the Oval Office.

Thank you, President Trump for never defending America from Russia.

Thank you, President Trump for praising authoritarians in Turkey, China, Russia, and the Philippines.

Thank you, President Trump for labeling the free press as “enemies of the American people.”

And finally, thank you, President Trump for betraying your base and enriching yourself.

Hopefully, in the future, I’ll be thanking Robert Mueller.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Good People


cjones09232017

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.