MAGA

Perjury Dum-Dum

For Marjorie Taylor Greene to win her case to prove she’s qualified for Congress, she has to play dumb. Playing dumb and stupid should be extremely easy for the likes of Marjorie Taylor Greene because she got a head start. The only problem here is that it’s difficult to tell when a moron is playing dumb.

As dumb as MTG is, it’s still incredulous that she doesn’t recall texting Trump Chief of Staff during the January 6 insurrection suggesting they blame ANTIFA instead of the people actually attacking the Capitol building, Donald Trump’s white nationalist terrorists. It’s not believable that she can’t recall texting Meadows suggesting “Marshall” law to prevent Biden from taking office.

At 2:28 PM while the insurrection was in full swing and everyone was having a great time stomping on cops, Greene texted Meadows with, “Please tell the President to calm people. This isn’t the way to solve anything.” Well, golly gee wilikens, there’s nothing wrong with asking the president (sic) to calm his people down. It’s actually commendable. The only issue here is that she knew the terrorists were their people, Trump supporters.

But at 3:52 PM, MTG texted Meadows again: “Mark we don’t think these attackers are our people. We think they are antifa. Dressed like Trump supporters.” Jason Miller, a goon adviser to Trump also texted Meadows that day with the same idea he’ll probably not recall in a courtroom as well. Miller texted that “Bad apples, likely ANTIFA or other crazed leftists” had “infiltrated” the alleged “peaceful protest” by Trump supporters. That darn ANTIFA not letting innocent white nationalists in full body armor with gas grenades and nooses conduct their racist rallies in peace. Bad, ANTIFA! Bad!

Trump’s Fox News goons, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and Brit Hume were all on board with blaming ANTIFA.

A group of voters in Greene’s congressional district are challenging her in court arguing she violated a provision of the U.S. Constitution called the “Insurrectionist Disqualification Clause” by supporting an incendiary rally that preceded last year’s attack on the U.S. Capitol. It’s a clause in the14th Amendment barring those who have “engaged in insurrection or rebellion” from seeking federal office. Greene has a lot of company, such as Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Madison Cawthorn, Louie Gohmert, and…who else? Oh, yeah. Donald Trump. All these people should be disqualified from ever running for elected office ever again. And while we’re at it, we need to bar everyone at Fox News from ever running for federal office in case any of them get some bright ideas.

There should be a law disqualifying goons from public office. In fact, I believe every Trump goon, at the very least, should be wearing an ankle bracelet.

Greene’s attorney argued that Free Speech for People, the group bringing the challenge, wants to “deny the right to vote to the thousands of people in the 14th District of Georgia by having Greene removed from the ballot.” It’s a defense that Greene’s voters have the right to vote for the white nationalist terrorist of their choice. This is another example of white privilege. You start a riot then claim you’re a victim. Poor widdle me. I wasn’t doing nothing.

Greene didn’t just say, “I don’t recall” dozens of times in her defense of playing dumb to questions such about texting suggestions about martial law. She also said, “Yes, I was a victim of the riot that day.”

When asked whether unlawfully interfering with the counting of electoral votes in a presidential election would make someone “an enemy of the Constitution,” Greene said, “I don’t know.” She claimed from the stand that Trump did win the election but claimed it was “not accurate” that she wanted Congress not to certify Biden as the winner.

Days before the insurrection, she said, “We aren’t going to let this election be stolen by Joe Biden and the Democrats.” She was one of 147 Republicans who voted to object to counting the electoral votes. She’s on the stand in a court room claiming she never did something her voting record shows she did. This is called perjury because she’s lying under oath. It’s odd that Greene talks a lot of shit about being all about god, saying “god this,” and “god that,” then takes an oath to god, then lies her cultist balls off.

Green was asked about a video she posted in 2019 in which she called on supporters to “flood the Capitol building, flood all the government buildings” and feel free to use violence “if we have to” to get the federal government to address their “huge list of grievances.” She said she didn’t remember doing that.

Greene also doesn’t recall texting Mark Meadows on January 17, 2021, suggesting martial law. She texted, “In our private chat with only Members several are saying the only way to save our Republic is for Trump to call Marshall law. I just wanted you to tell him. They stole this election. We all know. They will destroy our country next.”

Declaring martial law would have destroyed this country, but maybe the goons believe we have to destroy the nation to save it…for white nationalists.

The lawyer leading the challenge to disqualify Greene said, “Anyone who ‘can’t remember’ whether they urged the White House Chief of Staff to talk to the President of the United States about declaring martial law can’t be trusted when they claim they ‘can’t remember’ their own engagement in insurrection,”

At this point, her best defense may be that she never urged martial law, but only “Marshall” law…and then she can explain whatever the hell that is.

Can we make not knowing the difference between “martial” and “Marshall” a disqualifying factor? I mean, if tweeting death threats to the Speaker of the House won’t do it, then what will?

If the challengers can’t prove Greene is disqualified from serving in office based on her participation in an insurrection against our government, perhaps her being in prison from committing perjury during this trial will.

Creative note: I’m still in Washington but I’m heading home soon. I knew all day yesterday that I wanted to draw on this subject, but I didn’t have an idea…and I didn’t get one at the Herblock Awards for Lalo or while staying out until 2:00 AM drinking with cartoonists. But I got up at 8 AM and came down to the coffee shop and this arrived in my head with my 16 ounces. I’m worried it may be an obvious idea but I think it’s pretty good for a hungover cartoonist in need of more sleep.

Music Note: I was back in the coffee shop to draw this cartoon, and I put in my Air Pods and listened to Coheed and Cambria and “Never say never” by Romeo Void.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

The Elon Effect

I’m in Washington, D.C. for two cartoon events, one of which was last night. At that function, a reader of my blog told me he loved it but he rarely ever finishes reading it because they’re always too long. I agree, so today’s blog is going to be short.

I talked to my good friend Karen yesterday for just a minute. I’ve mentioned her here before so that must mean I talk to her a lot. Somebody has to talk to me. Anyways, Karen messaged to let me know Elon Musk had just successfully purchased Twitter. Even though I was traveling, I already knew because I have notifications enabled from The New York Times, The Washington Post, and CNN. I don’t miss much. But Karen told me this won’t affect her as she’s not on Twitter. I told her it would.

I heard that comment from a lot of people. First off, don’t sneer, poo-poo, or look down on Twitter if you’re on another social media platform. It’s like saying you’re too good for Papa John’s while eating Domino’s.

Karen is a smart person and quickly understood what I meant and changed her mind to agree with me. More people should do that, but no. Ya’ll continue to eat Domino’s Pizza and put ketchup on your hotdogs. You should know that I must love Karen a lot considering she’s one of those ketchup on hotdogs people. I once caught her eating a hotdog with ketchup on the Fourth of July, America’s birthday! But I digress.

As you know, Twitter is a huge platform, even if you’re too snotty to be on it. Since there’s so much consumption of information on Twitter, it can be extremely beneficial or dangerous. It’s both really. Now, it’s being taken over by a man who’s spent the past few years arguing that Twitter is suppressing free speech without understanding what free speech is. Elon Musk has argued for Donald Trump to have his Twitter account restored despite the thousands of lies he told on the platform, his retweets of Nazis, his racist and sexist attacks, and oh yeah, that time he used Twitter to organize a white nationalist goon terrorist attack to overturn a democratic election he lost to install him as an Oompa-Loompa fascist potentate.

So when the world burns down and we have a president installed by a Russian president and the Constitution’s trashed while every federal court is presided over by judges like the goon judge in Florida that overturned the travel face mask mandates, you will be affected whether you’re on Twitter or not. Yes, Twitter is that big. If it wasn’t for Twitter, Donald Trump may not have become president (sic) the first time.

Elon Musk has bought Twitter just in time to help the Republican Party retake Congress with the lying gaslighting campaigns. Elon has bought Twitter just in time to restore Donald Trump to the White House. By the way, Donald Trump has NOT stopped lying or trying to organize haters to do evil shit since he was booted from Twitter. He has not proven he should be let back in.

Letting Donald Trump back on Twitter is like kicking someone out of your party for crapping in the punch bowl, then spotting them doing the same thing to your mailbox and deciding he’s learned his lesson and should be allowed back in. Don’t let the punchbowl shitter back in the house.

If preventing these upcoming disasters was as simple as deleting my Twitter account, I would have done so in 2015.

Creative note: Seriously, this blog is short today because I’m tired. I didn’t get much sleep the night before last, and last night involved beer and camaraderie. I drew this cartoon at Soho Coffee near DuPont Circle, and it’s a great place. But, some British lady behind me talked on her phone throughout the entire time I was drawing this. It was the most mundane conversation I’ve ever heard with a sexy accent. Also, I need to eat something and get ready for tonight when my friend Lalo Alcaraz will be presented with the Herblock Award.

Music Note: I listened to the coffee shop music and the British lady behind me while drawing today’s cartoon. Her cat coughs up a lot of hairballs and she’s going to have her tire pressure inspected later today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

MAGA Gang Bang

There are a lot of places and events I want to stay away from. Papa John’s Pizza, another Trump rally, a Nickelback concert, Sturgis, Mar-a-Lago, any country music concert, Indiana, nightclubs, Cats the musical or movie, rodeos, renaissance fairs, Star Trek conventions, monster truck rallies, and now we can add Republican cocaine-fueled orgies to the list.

Internal White House records turned over to the House committee investigating the attack on January 6, 2021, show a gap of seven hours and 37 minutes. This was partly during the time of the attack on the Capitol building to overturn stop the certification of Joe Biden’s election victory over Donald Trump. Even though there’s a huge gap of no phone calls going in or out of the White House, we know Donald Trump was calling people and taking calls during this time. So, why aren’t they on the record?

The gap is from 11:17 AM to 6:54 PM. Trump gave his speech at noon down the street from the Capitol building. The outer barriers of the Capitol were breached at 1 PM. The Capitol Police were overrun at the entrance of the building at 1:30 PM. Around 2 PM, the Trump terrorists were breaking through the doors and windows. Despite telling the protesters he was going to the Capitol with them, Donald Trump was back at the White House gleefully watching the events unfold on TV. He was also on the phone throughout the attack.

We know during these hours that Trump called Senator Mike Lee, Senator Tommy Tuberville, and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy. He may have also been on the phone with Congressman Jim Jordan, though he hasn’t been clear on this and has contradicted himself, quite angrily, several times. These phone records are another reason to call Jordan to testify before the committee. When did he talk to Donald Trump? What number did he call to reach Trump? What number did Trump use to call him? Questions, questions, questions.

The House panel is now investigating whether Trump communicated that day through back channels, phones of aides, or personal disposable phones, known as “burner phones.” Trump has been known to borrow phones to make calls.

This gap in time is not a mistake. It’s an intentional coverup, just like when Trump took documents to Mar-a-Lago, ate documents, or flushed them down toilets. The Trump presidency (sic) is the most corrupt presidential (sic) administration in history.

A Trump spokesgoon said Trump had nothing to do with the records. Trump himself issued a statement saying, “I have no idea what a burner phone is, to the best of my knowledge I have never even heard the term.” Basically, that means there’s a coverup.

Former Trump National Security Adviser John Bolton said Trump knows what a “burner” phone is as they used to talk about them in regards to not having conversations documented. It’s probably a great way to communicate with Nazis and terrorists so law enforcement doesn’t find out, and also a great way to call porn stars so your wife doesn’t find out. I hope he never got those two confused. “Be there at 8 PM. You bring the tiki torches, I’ll bring the lube.” Oh, yeah. Charlottesville Republican Nazi tiki-torch rally is another event I do not want to attend.

Burner phones are probably also great for when you’re scheduling a Republican cocaine-fueled orgy. Congressman Madison Cawthorn, one of the members of the Stupid Caucus, claims there are Cocaine orgies in Washington all the time. Really? And, he claims he’s been invited. Yeah, right.

You would think the first rule of Orgy Club is you don’t talk about Orgy Club. That’s probably the second rule now with the new first rule being don’t invite or tell Madison Cawthorn about Orgy Club.

Cawthorn was on a podcast this week and claimed he’s been invited to orgies and seen politicians do cocaine in front of him.

He said, “The sexual perversion that goes on in Washington, I mean being kind of a young guy in Washington, where the average is probably 60 or 70. You look at all these people, a lot of them that I’ve looked up to through my life, I’ve always paid attention to politics … Then all of a sudden you get invited to, ‘Well hey, we’re going to have kind of a sexual get-together at one of our homes, you should come.’ What did you just ask me to come to? And then you realize they’re asking you to come to an orgy. Or the fact that some of the people leading on the movement to try and remove addiction in our country, and then you watch them do a key bump of cocaine right in front of you.”

First off, orgies are icky…no matter who’s participating in them. But Republican orgies have to be one of the most disgusting things ever, like a nudist Trump rally with penetration. I need brain soap just to clean that image out of my head. I’m sure there’s a lot of perversion in DC, and when I find some, I’ll let you know. It’s also likely Madison Cawthorn has seen some shit, especially since he’s friends with Matt Gaetz, the guy who keeps rubbers in his office, shows nude photos to colleagues on the House floor, and has been credibly accused of sex trafficking minors. But I seriously doubt congressional codgers are inviting Madison Cawthron to orgies. And if there were congressional orgies, a handicapped guy would probably be invited just so nobody can accuse the event of not being inclusive. There should be a city ordinance that all Washington orgies are required to be wheelchair accessible.

How does a conversation start in Washington when you invite someone to a Republican orgy? Does Mitch McConnell approach Madison Cawthorn and say, “You’re invited to an orgy tonight…you’re gonna see my testicles.”

Just because someone has a track record of being a notorious liar doesn’t mean that the truth doesn’t occasionally slip out.

Some Republicans are upset with Cawthorn for saying this because they don’t want to give the impression they’re a bunch of sexual deviants while allowing Qanon to spread the conspiracy theory that Democrats are deep-state reptilian pedophiles. Also, maybe they don’t want Cawthorn telling people about their orgies.

Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy now intends to speak to Cawthorn about this, either to reprimand him for smearing the party or to find out where they’re having these orgies. One GOP representative is claiming his constituents are calling asking about orgies. And if there are Republican cocaine-fueled orgies, has Sniffy ever been invited?

If Trump was ever invited to an orgy and he talked about it, he’d probably boast it was the biggest orgy anyone’s ever seen. “It was yuge…the bigliest ever. There were only nines and tens, no pigs or dogs. I would have invited Ivanka if she wasn’t my daughter.” First rule of Trump Orgy is, Tic-Tacs.

The GOP is the perversion party. They perverted our elections, our Constitution, law and order, diplomacy, the democratic process, or elections, and even confirming Supreme Court Justices. Personally, I don’t care if Republicans are fucking each other because at least that gives them some time away from fucking the rest of us.

And I’m sorry I put the image of Mitch McConnell’s balls in your head. My bad. That’s on me.

Music note: Today’s drawing music was by the Rolling Stones and the Kinks.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Rudy Tooty Colludy Subpoodied

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The January 6 Committee has issued subpoenas for Jenna Ellis, Boris Epshteyn (you can’t have a good Trump controversy without a Boris), Sidney Powell, and Rudy Giuliani. This should be fun.

Jenna Ellis drafted a memo on how then-President (sic) Trump could invalidate the election results by exploiting an obscure law. Sidney Powell worked on election lawsuits, spread wild conspiracy theories about voting machines, China, George Soros, the Clintons, and Hugo Chavez, all while raising money on the Big Lie. And Boris chased down false allegations of voter fraud in Arizona and Nevada and worked with the Trump administration (sic) to delay the certification of Biden’s election victory. But Rudy….oh, Rudy. Sweet, sweet Rudy.

Rudy Giuliani, who some still call “America’s Mayor,” is an international embarrassment. Being a Trump sycophant is bad enough, but to go from America’s Mayor to a ridiculous lying farty Trump poodle with leaky hair that people are laughing at is something totally original.

Rudy Giuliani was an embarrassment making contradictory claims on CNN and Fox News. He eventually made his lies exclusive to Fox News as CNN anchors kept asking him real questions, like, “Did you just admit to something you had just denied?”. Fun stuff.

Remember when Trump claimed he had no knowledge about hush payments to porn star Stormy Daniels who he had raw-dogged in a Las Vegas hotel room after she spanked him with a rolled-up magazine that had his daughter’s photo on it, and then Rudy went on Hannity and told him the president (sic) paid back Cohen after he had “funneled” the money to Stormy Daniels? Remember Hannity’s face when learning this information after previously using his show to declare how there had never been any hush payments? Remember Hannity’s face when he asked, “funneled”?

Remember when Trump said there was no quid pro quo by withholding military aid from Ukraine until they announced they were investigating Joe Biden, and then a tape came out with Giuliani offering Ukraine officials a quid pro quo and that their president could be invited to the United States and have a meeting with Trump if the investigations were announced? Good times.

After the election, Giuliani brought failed lawsuits and hearings to state legislators to overturn the election. He advised Trump to seize voting machines. He spread lies about Dominion Voting Systems, the company that provided the voting machines, who are now suing Giuliani for billions. Yes, billions with a “B”.

Remember when Giuliani scheduled a press conference at the Four Seasons Hotel in Pennsylvania, but fucked up and scheduled it in the parking lot at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, which was next to a sex shop? Remember how he went ahead and held the press conference anyway?

Remember the press conference where Rudy’s hair started leaking black goo?

Remember the legislative hearing when Rudy was farty?

Remember the hearing before the Michigan legislature where he brought a witness he had failed to vet beforehand? Remember how his unvetted witness made wild claims about voter fraud she never witnessed?

Remember all the times Rudy spoke before courts and legislatures despite failing to research what he was talking about?

Remember when Rudy invited what he thought was an underage girl into his private hotel room “for a drink,” but was instead punked by Borat? Great times.

Remember when Rudy called for “trial by combat”? You should remember that because it was at the Trump rally on January 6, 2020, right before Trump’s white nationalist goon squad attacked the United States Capitol in an attempt to overturn a democratically-held election to install Trump as a fascist dictator. Again, good times.

Rudy sucks at using phones. Remember the time he butt-dialed a reporter who got to overhear Rudy ranting about the Bidens being corrupt? Remember when he did it again to the same reporter, laying out a strategy to raise money for his “Investigations,” saying, “The problem is we need some money”?

Remember when Rudy called Senator Tommy Tuberville on January 6 in an attempt to block certification of the election and left a voicemail, except he accidentally called Senator Mike Lee? Remember on the recording when he said about the election certification, “We need you, our Republican friends, to try to just slow it down.”?

Remember that Rudy actually owns a cybersecurity firm but that he once needed an Apple employee to help him unlock his phone.

Remember when Rudy’s two associates, Lev and Igor (you can’t have a good Trump controversy without an Igor) who were helping him conduct “investigations” into Joe and Hunter Biden, were caught funneling Russian money to Republican candidates in the 2018 midterms?

Remember when Rudy had his law license suspended by the state of New York for making “demonstrably false and misleading statements” in courts?

Robert Costello, Rudy’s lawyer, called the subpoena “political theater” and said Giuliani would be covered by executive privilege, should Trump invoke it, as well as attorney-client privilege. But, Donald Trump can’t cite executive privilege because he’s not president (sic) anymore. Also, being an attorney for a criminal doesn’t protect you when you’re also his co-conspirator. Go ask Michael Cohen about that one.

Rudy’s shithead attorney also said, “They’re not going to charge Rudy Giuliani with anything, and they’re also not going to get any information from Rudy Giuliani factually.” Both statements are true. They’re not going to charge Rudy with anything because the January 6 committee can’t charge anyone. They can only refer charges. And, like shithead attorney said, the committee will not get anything “factually” out of Rudy because Rudy will lie his little greasy balls off. All they’re going to get from Rudy Giuliani will be farts and lies and lies and farts.

Remember when Rudy Giuliani was a respectable United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York? Remember when Rudy Giuliani was a respectable mayor of New York City? Remember when Rudy Giuliani had a license to practice law? Remember when Rudy Giuliani was not an international laughingstock?

Music Note: I listened to some Rolling Stones, Stone Temple Pilots, The Verve, and The Verve Pipe (those last two, because they’re right next to each other alphabetically) while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: 

Fetch, Devin, Fetch

CjonesRGB12112021

After being Donald Trump’s ball boy over the past five years, Devin Nunes has resigned from Congress and is mooving to become Trump’s ball boy in the private sector (see what I did there with the “moo?”). He probably figures he can do a better job of lying for Donald Trump from his future social media platform than from a seat in Congress. Devin is going to work for Donald Trump. Of course, he’s always worked for Trump but now it’s official.

Devin is taking a serious gamble here. The first gamble is: The Republican Party can win back the House in 2022 which would make Devin Nunes the chairman of the most powerful committee in Congress, the Ways and Means Committee. But that’s probably boring compared to barking out bullshit and waging legal fights with fictional cows.

But then again, Devin may not be re-elected in 2022 as his district’s map is changing.

The other gamble for Devin Nunes is he’s leaving Congress to become CEO of Trump’s upcoming social media platform, Truth Social. Yeah, I know. “Truth”? They should call it “Bullshit Social.” But, this platform may not ever come to exist.

Truth Social was supposed to debut last November, but where is it? The domains created for it were attacked by hackers on their first day of existence. The company has already violated its software agreement (shocking). The stock options for the company are like a shell game and are already under investigation by the SEC. A lot of people bought stocks not realizing they were buying into a Trump venture. That’s like buying a house before realizing it’s haunted by Jerry Lewis. “Hey, Laaaaaaaaaaaaaady!”

This is Trump’s second venture into social media. Do you remember his first one after leaving office? Exactly!

Trump started this weird thing where he’d create posts from “The Desk of Donald J. Trump,” which was on the site from his super PAC. The idea was for it to be exactly like Twitter…if Twitter mugged you each time you went on the platform. Each post was supposed to be under 280 characters so his cult could share them on other platforms, mostly Twitter and Facebook. It was supposed to be a “communications” platform but there was no way anyone could post a reply under Trump’s post or do any actual communicating. This was designed so nobody could hurt Trump’s feelings or point out he had just self-owned himself like he did last week with an “official” statement that said, “Anybody that doesn’t think there wasn’t massive Election Fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election is either very stupid, or very corrupt!” Yup, he called himself very stupid and very corrupt. We already knew that. It’s nice when Trump does it for us so we don’t have to.

I digress. This “From the Desk of Donald J. Trump” shit didn’t last and hits to the site started decreasing after the very first day it launched. Within two weeks, it had less than 10 percent of the interaction it had on its first day. Michael Flynn’s tenure in the White House lasted longer than “From the Desk of Donald Trump.”

Devin better hope this new venture doesn’t go the way of From the Desk of Donald Trump, or Trump Steaks, Trump Wine, Trump Airlines, etc, etc.

The third gamble here is: Trump stiffs people. I’m not talking about the kind of stiffing where he has to get a cheap lawyer like Michael Cohen to draft non-disclosure agreements for. I’m talking about the way he stiffs contractors. Trump, who cares so much about working stiffs, has a long history of stiffing working stiffs. Trump has probably stiffed more blue-collar workers than he’s draw-dogged porn stars while being married to Melania.

You may think Devin has been working for Trump for free all these years anyway, so so what. But, that’s not true. We’ve been paying Devin Nunes to wash Trump’s balls over the past five years.

When Nunes was chair of the House Intelligence Committee, he constantly worked to protect Trump. He didn’t want to investigate Russian interference in the 2016 election. He didn’t want to investigate Michael Flynn’s ties to Russia. He didn’t want to investigate the Trump Campaign’s collusion with Russia. When Nunes learned more about Russian ties to the Trump campaign, before he shared it with the rest of the Intelligence Committee, he ran to the White House to tell Donald Trump. He blamed investigators for investigating. He issued a four-page memo claiming the FBI had an anti-Trump bias for investigating Trump goon Carter Page instead of having an anti-Russian spy bias. Nunes was investigated by the House Ethics Committee for disclosing classified information, but the GOP-led committee dropped the investigation since Nunes wouldn’t give them all the documents they wanted. Seriously.

Devin Nunes even went to London in an attempt to meet with the heads of MI5, MI6, and the General Communications Headquarters to get dirt on Christopher Steele, the author of the Steele Dossier, alleging Trump paid Moscow hookers to pee on him. Ironically, each agency told Nunes to piss off. Maybe he just wanted to know the going rate for having Trump pee on him.

During the first Trump impeachment, Nunes went to Europe to meet with Ukrainians to try to get dirt on Joe Biden. He also claimed Ukraine meddled in the 2016 election. His trip was supposed to be a secret but it was exposed by CNN and The Daily Beast. Nunes claimed they broke the law by reporting his secret trip. He later attempted to sue CNN and fellow Congressman, Ted Lieu, for reporting and talking about his relationship with Trump goon, Lev Parnas. Lieu was excited about the lawsuit as it would force Nunes to disclose his contacts and other interesting information in depositions. All these lawsuits were thrown out.

Nunes loves frivolous lawsuits which bring us to the cow.

Devin Nunes sued two Twitter parody accounts, one titled “Devin Nunes’ Mom” and the other “Devin Nunes’ Cow.” The cow won.

Now, Devin’s going to work for a social media website that, pay attention, has its users agree the Trump platform is not responsible for shit they post. This is something Devin and Donald Trump both opposed while in office. Donald Trump always wanted to blame the platforms any time someone would write something like, oh, I don’t know…maybe something like, “Donald Trump is the demon spawn of an orange Nazi shitgibbon.” Devin never liked being asked on Twitter, “Hey, Devin…did you notice what Trump had for lunch today while your head was up his ass?” Of course, that question was rhetorical and was asked just to annoy Devin. We all know the answer is Big Macs.

Devin is giving up the potential to wield huge power in Washington for what he believes will be huge power in social media. But how much power will he really have after going to work for Fox News in six months because Truth Social could never compete against 4-chan or Telegram?

Fox News does pay but he’ll still have to have his head up Trump’s ass. That won’t be a problem because apparently, he likes it there.

Moo.

Creative note: I listened to The Shins, The Cranberries, The Dandy Warhols, and Hall and Oates

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Hit Steve Bannon One More Time

CjonesRGB11152021

Maybe America is correcting itself. Britney is free and Bannon is probably going to prison.

Britney Spears is finally free from the conservatorship managed by her father that controlled her life and career. During this time, the conservatorship paid out millions to the people keeping it alive, including her father, mother, entertainment firms, assistants, and lawyers. Preventing Britney from choosing how to spend her own money became an industry that made a lot of people richer. I hope she gets a lot of that back.

Britney was not allowed to make any of her own life and financial decisions. She wasn’t allowed to carry a credit card. She was forced to use an IUD to prevent her from having another baby. Hey, pregnant pop stars usually can’t tour and make their conservatorship money.

Her father got around $5 million to make sure Britney didn’t waste her money on stupid stuff, like giving her father $5 million. Daddy Dearest gave himself a $16,000 monthly salary from his daughter’s money because conservatoring a daughter’s life and career is hard. His monthly salary was more than the allowance he gave his daughter. He was also paid $2,000 for office space. This guy’s in Louisiana, right? Couldn’t he have just run his office from the back of a truck like Mr. Haney in Green Acres?

For some reason, Papa Spears has also been receiving royalties from her albums and tours. And then, he hired lawyers and managers to manage her money and career. Basically, he took the money and hired other people to do the work.

He also hired a firm, with Britney’s money, to spy on Britney. They even recorded what she was doing in her bedroom.

Hell, Britney even had to pay all the legal fees to fight her from ending the conservatorship. She paid one lawyer over $332,000 who later said he never knew he could petition to end the conservatorship. Even Rudy Giuliani and Sydney Powell would probably be better lawyers than this guy.

I don’t know why, but the conservatorship has also been paying for Britney’s mom to live in a mansion in Louisiana for the past 13 years. It pays all her utilities and has even hired a maid service.

Someone should probably hire a maid service to clean up Steve Bannon’s bullshit.

Steve Bannon was indicted Friday by a Washington, D.C. grand jury and will reportedly turn himself in to authorities on Monday. Bannon refused to comply with subpoenas from the House committee investigating the January 6 insurrection at the Capitol. The committee wants him to testify and is seeking documents related to the attack.

Bannon used Trump’s claim of executive privilege despite the fact he wasn’t working for the administration at the time of the insurrection, isn’t Trump’s lawyer (or even a lawyer), and the fact Donald Trump is not president (sic) anymore. What they’re trying to do is run out the clock.

The plan is to keep stalling and dragging their feet until January 2023. They’re hoping Republicans retake the House in the 2022 midterms and kill this committee after they’re sworn in. They will do that on day one if things go their way.

If Trump, Bannon, and all the rest of the white nationalist goons were innocent, they could want to testify to the committee. But the thing is, they’re all guilty. They’re all corrupt. Each of them attempted to overturn an election through a mob coup and install Trump as a fascist dictator. Watching Bannon go to jail may change the minds of all the others, like Mark Meadows, Stephen Miller, Jason Miller, Michael Flynn, Kayleigh McEnany, Katrina Pierson, and all the other goons who’ve promised to defy the law in name of Trumpism. Previously, they could count on a Trump pardon. Not so much now. After going to prison, the only jobs most of these goons will be able to land are gigs at Fox News, One America, and maybe hosting podcasts for white nationalists.

The real irony here is they’re all screaming about a fraudulent election that wasn’t fraudulent, and hoping to use the next election to kill all future elections. If Trump is elected again in 2024, goodbye, American democracy.

Bannon, who was already pardoned by Trump for grifting, will probably get a jail sentence between a month and a year. I’m predicting a month because none of these people ever truly get what they deserve.

Britney should be free. Steve Bannon, Donald Trump, and all the co-conspirators who helped them try to destroy our nation should all receive life in prison.

The DOJ needs to hit them, baby, one more time.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: I am currently on one-week probation from posting new videos on YouTube because somebody got upset with me for criticizing Marjorie Taylor Green, Qanon, white nationalists, and Nazis ten months ago.

Lurkin’ For Youngkin

Cjones11022021

I suspect Republican Virginia gubernatorial candidate Glenn Youngkin’s internal polling isn’t as exciting as he’s making it out to be. I get that impression from him encouraging his goons to stalk votings precincts and harass the volunteers who work the polls.

Do you know how much corruption, chicanery, and irregularities were in Virginia’s 2020 presidential election? Zero. Without saying he believes the 2020 presidential election was fraudulent, Youngkin is giving support to the Big Lie with this shout-out to harass election workers. He’s questioning the security and ethics of Virginia’s election. He’s casting doubt on democracy.

This shouldn’t be a surprise as Youngkin is already defending stupid parents who intimidate and threaten school board members, teachers, and other educators. He’s giving support to parents who want to conduct book burnings like the Nazis they aspire to be.

The Youngkin campaign is currently running a commercial with a parent talking about how a nasty book was forced upon her child in public school, and Terry McAuliffe, who was governor at that time, wouldn’t stop it. Boohoo hoo hoo! How dare Terry McAuliffe force this terrible rotten book, probably full of bestiality, incest, and jaywalkers upon her sweet little baby boy who was in the 12th grade….wait. What? The poor little baby was a senior in high school? He was in an advanced reading class? Today, he works for the Republican Party? But hey, I’m sure that was an extremely nasty book..what’s that? It was Beloved, a Nobel Prize-winning novel? So basically, the Youngkin campaign is making a bunch of nothing out of nothing.

Youngkin is also telling lies that McAuliffe had President Biden sic Attorney General Merrick Garland and the FBI on “concerned” parents for expressing their viewpoints to school boards about vaccine mandates, face masks, and Critical Race Theory. Right-wing goon parents haven’t been this up-in-arms with public schools since Michelle Obama tried to force their kids to eat broccoli.

I’m sorry, but no. It’s Republican governors who send police to bang on political opponents’ doors and frogmarch them from their homes in front of their children. At least that’s what Ron DeSantis does.

When Youngkin is telling this lie, he doesn’t mention the “concerned” parents are issuing death threats. He’s defending potential terrorists. As governor, will he ignore threats to our educators?

Youngkin also doesn’t want to mention abortion. But, I’m sure he’ll talk about it a lot after he wins. I’m sure he’ll work hard to ban it in the state and try to turn us into Texas but with better food choices.

Youngkin also doesn’t want to talk about Donald Trump even though Trump wants to talk about Youngkin. Trump wants to come to Virginia and campaign for Youngkin. But, Youngkin knows better and he doesn’t want any visible ties to Donald Trump. Funny thing, Larry Elder in California also didn’t have Trump campaign for him.

In fact, there haven’t been any Trumps in Virginia campaigning for Youngkin. Youngkin has attacked the McAuliffe campaign for having people like President Biden and President Obama campaign for him, criticizing McAuliffe for not being able to campaign by himself. But remember, Youngkin had white nationalist fascist Steve Bannon in the state campaigning for him. You remember that, don’t you? It was the event where they all pledged to a flag at the January white nationalist Trump insurrection.

Youngkin also isn’t talking about Charlottesville or the Nazis that marched there and murdered Heather Heyer. Donald Trump talked about them and said there were “very fine people” on both sides at that tragedy. Glenn Youngkin said he was “honored” to receive the endorsement from the guy who said there were “very fine people” marching with Nazis chanting “Jews will not replace us.”

Do you know who marches with Nazis? Nazis. Do you know who Nazis in Virginia will be voting for this Tuesday? They’ll be voting for Glenn Youngkin.

Please, Virginians. Don’t let the guy supported by Trump, white nationalists, and Nazis become governor of Virginia. We cannot allow a Trump cultist MAGAt to be the highest elected official in our state. Did you see how Donald Trump erased the progress this nation made under President Obama? Glenn Youngkin is planning to do that to Virginia. Hell, Ken Cuccinelli might even move back here if Youngkin wins. If Youngkin wins in Virginia, they’re going to take this MAGAt enthusiasm nationally in 2022.

Vote. Don’t let Youngkin Trump Virginia.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

BannonWeenie

Cjones10302021

Trump goon Steve Bannon is in contempt of Congress and Attorney General Merrick Garland is probably going to take action that sends Bannon to the jail for goons.

Bannon is avoiding testifying before Congress, claiming Donald Trump has enacted executive privilege to keep him from testifying about the January 6 insurrection to prevent the certification of President Biden’s victory over Trump, overturn an election, destroy democracy, and install the Great Racist Pumpkin as a fascist dictator.

Bannon also claims he didn’t have anything to do with planning the Trump white nationalist mob attack. Yeah, and Linus didn’t have anything to do with Sally missing Halloween candy to sit in a pumpkin patch all night waiting on some nonexistent bullshit and to ultimately only see a beagle. She was robbed and has a legal case.

Steve Bannon was NOT working for the president (sic) of the United States at the time of the attack. He may have worked for the campaign and plotted with them, but that’s NOT an official function. He is not Trump’s lawyer or a lawyer at all. He was not a member of the administration. So, Donald Trump can’t cite executive privilege over Steve Bannon’s testimony. Also, Donald Trump is not the president. He can’t cite executive privilege any more than I can.

For example: It’s five days before Halloween. I bought three bags of Halloween candy for trick-r-treaters. Is any of it left? I cite executive privilege and refuse to answer that question.

Also, why cite executive privilege? Trump and Bannon both say they didn’t plan the insurrection yet they don’t want to answer questions about planning the insurrection. I mean, if they’re trying to enact executive privilege, that means they gots shit they don’t want to answer for.

There was a “command center” for overturning the election on January 6. It was in a bunch of suites at the Willard hotel in Washington, a block from the White House (my hotel on election night was three blocks from the White House and I plotted out cartoons while eating a large Italian sub). The people involved at the Willard planning the coup attempt were Rudy Giuliani, former NYC police commissioner Bernard Kerik, John Eastman (who’s a Trump goon scholar of some sort), One America News reporter Christina Bobband who was working as a campaign volunteer (wait. You can’t be a journalist and a campaign volunteer), White House special assistant Boris Epshteyn (there’s always a Boris in Trump word), and…wait for it…Steve Bannon. If there’s a trail of shit, Steve Bannon will be found at the end of it. It’s right next to that trail of Rudy’s hair dye.

While these goons were conducting efforts with members of Congress and state legislators to overturn the election, they mostly needed an angry mob to get the job done. If Mike Pence wasn’t going to stop the certification, an angry mob would at least delay it, though the idea was to stop it. It’s rare an angry mob shows up by itself. You’re thinking of flash mobs.

To get an angry mob to show up, first you have to make them angry. You start by lying and telling them they were robbed like Sally was when she was sold a Great Pumpkin and only got a beagle in goggles. In addition to Donald Trump tweeting for them to be there (it’s gonna be “wild”), the Willard fuckers had Steve Bannon riling them up on his podcast.

Steve Bannon may possibly go to prison. But, I don’t want Steve Bannon to go to prison…as a sacrifice so others don’t. Sure, send Bannon to jail, but don’t send him alone. And these people don’t need to go to prison just because they refused a congressional subpoena. No. They need to go to prison for so much more.

These people attempted a coup. They were willing to have people die to install a dictator. They tried to destroy our democracy and Constitution. A lot of people don’t just deserve to go to prison, but must go. It is imperative we send people to prison who tried to overturn the government through a bloody coup. These include goons such as Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani. Everyone in the Willard plotting the coup. Representatives working with the racist insurrectionists such as Marjorie Taylor Green, Louie Gohmert, Lauren Boebert, and pedo-in-training Matt Gaetz. Finally, we should send the person to prison whose crimes outweigh everyone else’s. We need to convict and incarcerate the former president (sic) of the United States.

The Great Pumpkin will not be reinstated. There is no constitutional method for that. But there are laws to throw the racist Great Pumpkin in prison.

Lock them up.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Bannon’s Contempt

Cjones10252021

The day before the Trump insurrection on January 6 that was an attempt to overturn a legal election, stop congress from doing a task mandated by the United States Constitution, and install Donald Trump as a fascist dictator, Steve Bannon was on his radio show (yes, he has a radio show) telling his white nationalist audience, “You made this happen and tomorrow it’s game day. So strap in. Let’s get ready. All hell is going to break loose tomorrow. It’s all converging, and now we’re on the point of attack tomorrow.”

Really, I’m shocked he didn’t start singing.

The hate will come out…tomorrow. You can bet your bottom dollar…tomorrow…there’ll be fascism and treason…tomorrow…
Tomorrow…I love ya’…fascism…tomorrow…skippidee-dee..

Anyway, it sounds like Steve Bannon might have kinda knew something was going to go down on January 6. So, the House Committee investigating the Trump insurrection wants to talk to Steve Bannon, but Bannon isn’t cooperating. He is in direct violation of a congressional subpoena. That is illegal. Steve Bannon was the head honcho of Breitbart, a racist online “news” source for white nationalists, Nazis, and other various hate groups. He was the CEO late in the game of Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign (after his previous campaign mangers were let go for assaulting women and being a Russian mole). He was Trump’s chief strategist in the early days of his administration because there was concern Stephen Miller couldn’t carry all the racist agenda by himself (border wall, Muslim ban, shithole countries, banning all non-white immigration, hating Mexicans, etc). He received one of Trump’s last-second pardons for charges in mail fraud and money laundering in tricking racists into making contributions to build Trump’s hate wall on the border.

Bannon is refusing to comply with a subpoena from the committee, citing executive privilege. But the thing is, Bannon is not president, so how can he claim executive privilege? He also wasn’t a part of the Trump administration at the time of the attack and he isn’t Donald Trump’s lawyer so, how can he claim executive privilege? Finally, Donald Trump isn’t president (pause for “YAY!!!!”), so how can he claim executive privilege?

A lot of people say Steve Bannon is a genius, I mean…scamming racists using their own hate against them for profit was pretty fucking clever, but he also thought racist pedophile and mall-food-court-Jamba-Juice-teenage-talent-scouting aficionado Roy Moore would make a great U.S. senate candidate in Alabama. I think Bannon might be wrong with his claim of executive privilege…but he may know this and be gambling. Gambling for what?

Ya’ see, he doesn’t have to do anything but this helps build his notoriety. He’s gambling on banking off this. If he loses, he can go to prison. After prison, he’ll probably still bank off it.

Steve Bannon is like Ted Cruz. They enjoy being hated. They enjoy being reviled. They enjoy trolling and pissing off decent people. They both enjoy disgusting people. They both enjoy every time a child sees them and shrieks in horror. By the way, if you like making this your public profile, you’re probably on the wrong side of everything. But, being on the wrong side of everything sells with the white nationalist Trump base. Did I mention the border-wall scheme? The pitch there was: You can trust Steve Bannon because he hates the same people you do. Imagine what sort of racist shit he can sell after he’s the guy the Deep State sent to prison for standing up for Trump fascism. Maybe Mike Lindell should consider this to help sell his shitty pillows.

Steve Bannon can comply with the subpoena and still not cooperate. Even though he tried to destroy the United States Constitution, he still has the Constitutional right not to self-incriminate. He can plead the 5th and go home. I mean, he might have to sit there all day avoiding questions, but that’ll be nine hours of his ugly mug on TV. As a strategist, he really should go. It would be good for the hate business. But maybe he’s gambling on Trump-tiki-torch sales after prison.

Bannon is probably hoping he can squirm through all this until Republicans take control of Congress in January 2023, that is, if they win the House in the 2022 midterms. He’s already on the vote-fascism tour. He had a hate rally with fellow racist Trump pardonee Milo Yiannopoulos in Maryland this week. It was canceled because Baltimore didn’t want to be swarmed with tiki-torch Nazis which would ruin everyone’s weekend.

Yesterday, the House committee voted to send a referral to the Department of Justice to criminally prosecute Steve Bannon. This is very rare and if it all goes to play, Bannon could spend up to a year in jail.

Steve Bannon is still pushing The Big Lie that Trump won. In fact, he’s still pushing for an insurrection. He recently said on his podcast, the War Room, “We control the country. We’ve got to start acting like it. And one way we’re going to act like it, we’re not going to have 4,000 shock troops ready to go, we’re going to have 20,000 ready to go.”

Does that sound like Night of the Long Knives or what? At a recent rally for Virginia gubernatorial candidate Glenn Youngkin, Bannon with others pledged to a U.S. flag they claimed was waved at the January 6 insurrection. The Nazis did the same thing, pledging to a bloody Swastika flag after the failed Putsch Revolt against the legitimate German government in 1923.

Steve Bannon wants to destroy the government and democracy. He’s making a pitch for a fascist racist state he says will governor for 100 years (Hitler predicted a Nazi state for 1,000 years). I doubt this guy can testify without voicing a lot of his fascist and racist views.

Steve Bannon needs to testify before Congress, but he’s a terrorist sympathizer and hates democracy. He’s a Nazi-wannabe. I’m a wanna-see-Bannon-in-prison.

This nation is under attack from fascists planning another insurrection and a civil war. As if the January 6 insurrection didn’t reveal that, but Bannon’s testimony will expose it even more.

Lock him up. Let’s lock up all the Nazis.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will come in soon. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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No More Like That Guy

Cjones08222021

Over at Fox News, the morons are at it again and they’re having a difficult time concealing their xenophobia.

Of course, it all starts with Tucker. Tucker Carlson claims if we let in Afghan refugees, it will be an invasion. Keep in mind, these refugees are being hunted down by the Taliban for working with America against terrorists. Their lives are in danger because they fought in the war on terror. Tucker and other Republicans believe these people are dangerous and not the likes of the Trump terrorists who stormed into the United States Capitol complex to overturn an election.

These people defend and cover up for real terrorists while fear mongering over hypothetical ones.

Tucker said, “If history is any guide, and it’s always a guide, we will see many refugees from Afghanistan resettle in our country in coming months, probably in your neighbourhood.” That’d probably be a good thing and much more preferable than having the Qanon Shaman move in next door…or Tucker.

Tucker believes in the Great Replacement Theory that Democrats are changing the demographics of the country through immigration to replace white people like Tucker. He believes this is part of that strategy. He also claimed that after immigrants arrive here, they start hating America. He says Representative Ilhan Omar “got worse” after she arrived to America and started hating this country. Dude, she got here when she was about 12 years old. Just because your maturity hasn’t advanced beyond that age, don’t believe others are as simplistic as you are. Trust me on this, we all get worse after 12.

Former White House goon, Stephen Miller, is now gooning on Fox News…which is something he did while we were paying him to goon for the government. Earlier this week, he brought his racism, xenophobia, and all-around ickiness to Laura Ingraham, who has spent years training to suppress her gag reflex to be around creepers like Miller.

Stephen Miller said, “The United States of America never, ever made a promise—written or unwritten—to the people of Afghanistan that if after 20 years they were unable to secure their own country that we would take them to ours.” Mostly, Miller is afraid that after they get here, they’ll laugh at spray-on hair.

Afghanistan veteran and former CIA analyst, Matt Zeller, said, “Stephen Miller never wore a uniform a day in his life. He’s a privileged little brat! He ought to be held for war crimes.”

Zeller put a lot of blame on Trump for the refugee crisis saying, “The reason all these people are stuck in Afghanistan right now is because the visa program created to get them here, it was purposely shut down by the Trump administration for the last four years.”

He also said, “The Trump administration came in and purposely destroyed it. The reason why all of these Afghans were stuck in Afghanistan for as long as they were in the first place is because those people made sure they couldn’t get out. As I said before, they’re as complicit as the Taliban are in these people’s deaths.”

I’m not worried about refugees who fought against the Taliban being a threat to our nation. I’m more worried about the MAGA goon who parked his truck on the sidewalk in front of the Library of Congress yesterday claiming he had a bomb.

The Capitol Police, a police force gaining experience with terrorism on a daily basis, negotiated with the man for hours before he surrendered. He didn’t have a bomb in his truck, but he did have bomb making material, including a propane tank.

The guy is a wannabe terrorist who is a Trump supporter. He livestreamed on Facebook that he wants President Biden and Democrats to resign. He’s really stressed out about the situation in Afghanistan. Maybe he’s afraid some Afghan refugee will become a terrorist and drive his pickup truck onto the sidewalk in front of the Library of Congress and make bomb threats.

The worst people we could bring to this nation would be people like Trump supporters. We don’t need more people like the pickup truck Trump terrorist (say that fast three times), Tucker Carlson, or Stephen Miller. I would rather replace each of them with an Afghan refugee who fought against terrorism.

Maybe we can make MAGAts refugees and export them to Afghanistan. We can do a swap. We get the Afghans who fought against the Taliban, and they get the MAGAts who staged a terrorist attack against the United States.

Trumpers and the Taliban have a lot in common.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: