MAGA

Blue Moon Of Kentucky

cjones11102019

The night before the election in Kentucky, Donald Trump held one of his hate rallies in that state in support of Governor Matt Bevin and said, “If you lose, they will say Trump suffered the greatest defeat in the history of the world. You can’t let that happen to me, and you can’t let that happen to your incredible state.” Last night, Kentucky voters let that happen to him.

Don’t misread the results in Kentucky. Bevin was an extremely bad governor and highly controversial. One anonymous Republican was credited for saying last night that it’s “slightly worse in Kentucky to be an asshole than it is to be a liberal.” Democrat Andy Beshear had goodwill from his father’s tenure as governor, and he didn’t run on a liberal platform or against Trump. His campaign focused on Medicaid expansion. Republicans did win every statewide seat except the governor’s mansion.

But Bevin was a chaos candidate who wrapped himself around the chaos of Donald Trump and tried to nationalize his campaign as one on conservative grievances against the impeachment of Trump. Trump defended his support by giving himself credit for Bevin having a near loss instead of a massive one. The message here is: Invite Trump for a hate rally and you’ll only barely lose.

Trump will win Kentucky in 2020. But there are alarming signs for Republicans from last night. Mostly that the suburbs, which used to be solid Republican, are continuing to trend toward Democrats. And if being an asshole is worse than being a liberal in Kentucky, what does that spell for Trump and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2020? In case you’re a Republican and haven’t noticed, they’re both assholes.

Perhaps an even bigger loss for Republicans is what happened in my home state of Virginia last night. As predicted, Democrats won control of the state house and senate. With a Democratic governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general, Democrats get to rewrite congressional districts. Last night, they won in districts drawn by Republicans. It was also what they call an “off-off year” for an election, as neither presidential or gubernatorial candidates were on the ballot. Despite that, there was a strong voter turnout. For the GOP, Virginia is gone.

Virginia is the only state of the old south that voted against Donald Trump in 2016. It will again in 2020. The only other two states Democrats can compete for will be Florida and North Carolina. Sorry, Dems. Texas and Georgia aren’t there yet.

Republicans are hoping to use the impeachment of Donald Trump to rile up their base in 2020. But even in Kentucky, where Trump won by over 30% in 2016, the impeachment didn’t have an impact. It probably won’t have much sway in tighter states Trump won like Florida, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Ohio, and Michigan.

The blue moon of Kentucky shone last night. Hopefully, voters will “let it happen” to Trump again in 2020 and we’ll never have to see his orange moon again.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Friends In MAGA Places

cjones10132019

Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres is catching a lot of heat for being chummy and laughing it up with whom many consider the perpetrator of massive atrocities on a worldwide level that will take decades to recover from. No, not the Jonas Brothers. I’m talking about President George W. Bush.

After a photo emerged of Ellen sitting next to Bush at the Dallas Cowboys’ game with the Green Bay Packers last Sunday, people went on Twitter to criticize her choice of friends. Ellen dedicated her opening monologue on her Tuesday show to address the backlash.

She said, “I’m friends with George Bush. In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have.” She added, “Just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean I’m not going to be friends with them.” She then made a plea to be kind to everyone.

Reese Witherspoon and Kristen Bell both tweeted out support, though Witherspoon later deleted hers. Maybe she was afraid of offending China. I don’t know. But other celebrities went after her. Mark Ruffalo tweeted, “Sorry, until George W. Bush is brought to justice for the crimes of the Iraq War, (including American-lead torture, Iraqi deaths & displacement, and the deep scars-emotional & otherwise-inflicted on our military that served his folly), we can’t even begin to talk about kindness.” Don’t make Ruffalo angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry.

Personally, I don’t have an issue with who Ellen is friends with and I respect she didn’t back down. I don’t care who anyone is friends with. There are times I’m disappointed in people when I learn they’re friends with a shit-eating troglodyte, but I think to myself, “that’s too bad,” and I move on. The reason I don’t care who you’re friends with is that I don’t want you to give me crap about who I’m friends with…or who I refuse to be friends with.

With that, I say to Ellen, don’t you lecture me about who to be friends with and treat kindly.

I have friends I don’t agree with politically. I have friends who vote Republican, watch Fox News, put toilet paper under instead of over, put ketchup on hotdogs, and even cheer for the Dallas Cowboys. I have friends who are gun nuts. During the buildup to the Iraq War, I was friends with many people who supported the invasion…until they started lying about it (like blaming Iraq for 9/11). After the war, I had some difficulty with those same people when they decided to change the reasoning for the invasion after their first one proved to be total and complete bullshit.

I accept I’m a hard person to talk politics with if we disagree. I will hammer a point. But, if you’re a Trump supporter, you will have a hard time talking politics with me because I use facts and I’ll call you on your deflections. I don’t let you get away with it.

I’m not really friends with any Trump supporters. Sure, there are people on Facebook but they’re not real-life friends. The reason I’m not friends with Trump supporters is because I’m not in the habit of making friends with assholes.

A few years ago, I started freelancing for a publication on local issues. Then, I discovered the people running the outlet weren’t just Trump supporters, but HUGE Trump supporters. The editor even argued to me that Trump should be elected because after working hard to become a billionaire, he frankly deserves to get whatever he wants. Seriously. I didn’t pull out of the relationship because I had already made a commitment and I wasn’t going to draw cartoons supporting Trump or even talk to them that much about U.S. politics. A short time later, I read an article that argued one shouldn’t enter any business deals with Trump supporters because they lack ethics and morals and eventually, they’ll screw you over. I kept that in mind as my deal with this Trump-loving outlet plodded along. Everything was fine for a while but eventually, they screwed me over. Today, they owe me for five and a half months of work. I stopped working for them last April and they still haven’t paid one cent. Surprise! And guess what. Not having any ethics doesn’t appear to bother them.

If you’re a Trump supporter, being in business or friendship with you doesn’t work for me because I don’t trust you. You’ve proven everything you championed in the past, ethics, law-and-order, religion, patriotism, family values, fiscal responsibility, were all lies. That’s it for me right there. If you’re a Trump supporter, you’re a liar. I base this on the fact that I have never heard anyone argue for or defend Donald Trump without lying. Also, you’re supporting a liar, so what does that make you?

They say you can agree to disagree. With Trump supporters, I’ll only go so far to agree that I’m right and you’re wrong. They say we should respect everyone’s opinion, but I don’t respect your opinion when it’s based on hate and lies.

The other thing is, you’re in a cult. I don’t have a lot friends in cults. You sold out your dignity, principles, and your nation to a really imbecilic cult leader. I don’t like you. You’re destroying my nation. So, no. We’re not going to be friends. On top of all those reasons, you’re probably an idiot.

Sure, I’ll agree to disagree and respect where you’re coming from when we argue about supply-side economics. But I don’t respect a damn thing about you or your opinion when you want to “build the wall” or “send them back.”

So, Ellen, with all due respect, don’t lecture me about who I need to be friends with or that I should be kind to assholes. And if everyone else in this country joins the Trump cult, I’ll get a dog.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

MAGA Manifesto

cjones08092019

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

One Small Step For Haters

cjones07222019

Yesterday, I heard white Republicans say they didn’t find anything remotely racist about Donald Trump’s “Go back where they came from” statement. Part of their defense was that they have black friends so they, like Trump, can’t be racist.

I propose a challenge for these non-racist white Republicans with “black friends.” Go up to one of your “black friends” and say, “Go back to where you came from.” Let me know how that works out. Let me know if they remain your friends. Let me know if you acquire any injuries and the hospital where you’ll be staying where I don’t send flowers.

Now, you may not find Trump’s comments racist, but federal law does. The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) has written specific rules to protect people from discrimination from racist assholes like Trump supporters. On its website (scroll to Harassment Based on National Origin), the commission says, “Examples of potentially unlawful conduct include insults, taunting, or ethnic epithets, such as making fun of a person’s foreign accent or comments like, ‘Go back to where you came from.’ whether made by supervisors or co-workers.”

Since members of Congress are Donald Trump’s coworkers, he broke the law by telling four of them to “go back where they came from.” Hmmm…since Trump’s tweetstorms are part of his official duty, maybe his racism is an impeachable offense. How ’bout that.

The United States House of Representatives also finds Trump’s comments racist. Yesterday, the House passed a resolution condemning Trump’s remarks as racist. Every Democrat, a diverse caucus, voted in favor. With the exception of four, the mostly white male Republican caucus voted against. Republicans in Congress, just like Trump cultists, support racism.

If you’re curious about which elected Republicans have publicly criticized Trump’s racist tweet, or done so while also attacking Trump’s Democratic ethnic female targets, have remained quiet, or have defended his racism, The Washington Post has created a handy graphic to keep track. My representative, Rob Wittman, voted in favor of Trump’s racism yet has remained silent on the issue.

At this point, if you’re still supporting Donald Trump, it’s not despite the racism, it’s because of the racism. Congratulations.

Some of my clients may be wishing that I’d move on from this subject and do something nice, maybe something on the 50th anniversary of the Apollo moon landing which is this weekend. But then again, most of my clients should know how I work by now. I don’t do a lot of nice cartoons. This is about as close as I can get to nice.

Honestly, I’m kinda getting tired of this subject too. But what can I do about it? The president is a racist. I’m not a Republican which means I can’t ignore it.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Hating America

cjones07202019

Donald Trump hates America.

America is a nation of diversity. Campaigning on “make America great again,” Trump is longing for and promising to return this nation to the racist ways of the past, the America he loves. He hates that this is a nation of white, brown, black, yellow, etc, and so do his supporters.

When told today that white supremacists will love his message of “go back to where you came from,” Trump said he wasn’t worried because a lot of people agree with him. He is owning that he’s reaching out to the racists.

The sheer hypocrisy of saying those who criticize this nation and are not happy should leave will go over the heads of his cult. So will this cartoon.

If you’re not happy and think we should “make America great again,” then why don’t you just leave?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

MAGA Smarts

cjones07112019

You know it’s coming.

Donald Trump tells his cult not to believe what they see and hear unless they see and hear it from him.

They believe he won the popular vote, millions of “illegals” voted, he had the largest inauguration crowd in history, he created a booming economy, Russia didn’t meddle, Obama wiretapped Trump Tower, babies aren’t being kept in cages, there were good people on both sides, he never paid hush money to a pornstar, his hands really are big, the noise from windmills do cause cancer, his father was born in Germany, raking forests prevents fires in Finland, he’s not a racist, Mexico will pay for the wall and construction on it has already started, American consumers don’t pay for tariffs, and that he’s a successful businessman.

Trump, who has told over 10,000 lies as president even has his cult believing it stopped raining for his inauguration speech. He literally lied about the weather and they ate it up. If he wasn’t blaming the rain for his teleprompter wigging out, he’d lie about the rain for his July 4th speech. Speaking of teleprompters, remember when Trump used to criticize Obama and Hillary Clinton for using them?

Trump once said, “If you run for president, you shouldn’t be allowed to use teleprompters. Because you don’t even know if the guy is smart.” We already knew this guy isn’t smart, but maybe watching him struggle to read text off a teleprompter, even indoors or in good weather, underscores just how stupid of a guy he truly is.

Soon, if it’s not happening already, there will be members of the Trump cult claiming there were airports during the American revolution.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Happy Something Something

cjones07062019

Donald Trump loves to take credit where he deserves none. He takes credit for inheriting Obama’s economy. He took credit for no commercial airline crashes in 2017, despite there also not being any for nearly the past decade. He took credit for the phrase “priming the pump,” which has been around at least since the 1930s. He’s taken credit for Lady Gaga being a star (really). He’s taken credit for rebuilding the military, which has not been rebuilt. He’s taken credit for replenishing nuclear weapons which is another lie unless he’s referring to Russia, Iran, and North Korea. He’s even taken credit for ending the conspiracy of Obama being born outside the United States. Seriously. Trump also likes to take credit for things you’ve always had, like the freedom to say “Merry Christmas.” Stupid people have actually thanked him for this. I have a middle finger I’d like to thank him for.

Yesterday, Trump took credit for the plant in Lima, Ohio that makes tanks for the U.S. military not being shut down, despite it receiving funds in 2013, 2014, and 2017, even though the Army keeps telling Congress they don’t need more tanks (currently, there are over 4,000 tanks that have never been used in storage in the desert).

Speaking of tanks, Donald Trump has asked the Pentagon to roll a bunch of them through Washington on the Fourth of July as part of his co-opting the capital’s annual celebration into a massive Trump rally. He’s also ordered the presidential helicopter, Marine One, Air Force One, a stealth fighter, another squadron of fighter jets, and more helicopters, and 40,000 idiots in MAGA hats. This event will bring physical (tanks) and emotional (Trump and MAGA hat idiots) damage to Washington, D.C. Trump’s celebration of himself will even freeze air traffic to and from Reagan National Airport, which was also frozen once because of al Qaida.

Donald Trump ruins everything he touches. Now, he’s going to ruin the Fourth of July, a holiday that he and his cultists would have difficulty telling you which day of the month it lands on.

Trump is using a national holiday, the capital, the military, and taxpayer money to glorify himself. Because there won’t be any dictators around, Trump has to yank his own dick.

The White House will “give out” tickets for attendees to sit in a VIP section, which I’m sure we’ll learn later was sold by the Trump Campaign (wait for it). Trump’s people attempted to cancel the multiyear contract the Park Service has with a fireworks company so that a campaign contributor could “donate” their services.

The Abrams tank weights more than 60 tons, which is slightly less than Trump’s ego. Despite the city’s protest, Trump plans to have them destroy the city’s streets and perhaps the rooms underneath the Lincoln Memorial. Trump also boasted about the “new” Sherman tanks, which, like his brain, haven’t been in use since the 1950s.

Trump will expect people to thank him for the Fourth of July after this event. There are currently commercials more annoying than that Cars 4 Kids jingle asking Americans to call the White House to “thank President Trump,” for what, I don’t know. Now, they can add a holiday. Just like Trump cultists don’t remember the economy Obama gave them, they’ll forget we had the Fourth of July before Trump. Personally, I’m kinda worried about Trump cultists around fireworks, but then again, that’s a problem that might solve itself.

Fortunately, there will be people present with IQs higher than shoe sizes to let Trump know he’s not appreciated and we’re not thankful for a damn thing he’s done to this country. Protesters have been granted permits to demonstrate in the capital and the Trump Baby may even make an appearance. I mean the balloon Trump Baby. The other Trump baby has guaranteed he’ll show up.

Trump should avoid hijacking a national holiday and instead tweet out a “happy Fourth to everyone, even the haters” from his bed of hamberders in the midsts of his usual retweets of neo-Nazi videos.

We all get to look forward to Trump’s whiny voice on this special day. Now, in addition to fireworks, there’s something else that’ll hurt dogs’ ears on July the Fourth. If you need me, I’ll be under the bed with the dog.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.