Wanker Investigations

Prince Harry fled to the United States and did the most American thing one can do, publish a tell-all. Harry says that he hopes to repair his relationship with his family in the future, but you don’t do that by publishing a tell-all.

I’m not taking sides. I care about Harry versus Willy about as much as I cared about Jacob versus Edward. I’m disgusted that I can even know that reference.

I watched some of the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan, but I didn’t watch the 60 Minutes or ITV interviews of Harry. I did read a couple of analyses of it, including this one by CNN. My greatest take from them is boo-hoo-hoo.

These royals are spoiled welfare babies who live in a bubble and will turn on each other for the slightest bit of good press in the tabloids. Drugged-out rock bands don’t turn on each other as badly as this for good press. According to Harry, his own father would leak damaging info about his two sons in order to gain sympathy from the public. Now, Harry is doing the same thing to gain sympathy from the public, and in order to do so, he’s dishing dirt on his father and brother.

Harry makes his father and brother look like jerks. He claims his brother physically assaulted him during an argument over press coverage of Meghan. He says his father didn’t hug him when he told him his mother, Diana, had died. He claims in his book, “Spare,” that his dad would joke that one of his mother’s lovers might be his real father.

My father told some revolting jokes to his children, but never anything as bad as, “Who knows if I’m even your real father? Maybe your real father is in Broadmoor, darling boy!” Of course, if my father had ever called me “darling boy,” then I’d start to suspect he wasn’t my father.

My main gripe over the coverage of the royals is the sexist treatment Meghan Markle receives. Maybe some of that is also by the royal family. But it’s sexist to blame her for the rift between Harry and his family. Yes, if you’ve shared a Yoko meme, you’re being sexist. Just like John Lennon was when the Beatles broke up, Harry is an adult and is responsible for his own decisions and actions. Blaming Meghan may also be racist.

I don’t really care that much about the royals, but there’s more meat to this than with Hunter Biden, who is not a royal. If the Tories in Parliament were as vile, horrifying, and stupid as the House Republicans, then they’d be starting investigations into Prince Harry as a distraction.

It’s a lot easier to politicize something for the noise it makes than it is to pass significant legislation. The House Republicans will prove this over the next two years because they’re going to make a lot of noise without passing anything that’ll make it through the Senate and land on the president’s desk. Matt Gaetz has already made an appeal for the cameras in the House chamber to be on 24/7.

On another note about families: Notice that Harry didn’t publish his book while his grandmother the queen was still alive. If he had, She probably would’ve kicked his ass.

Music note: I listened to The Pixies.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 2 days left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban,” and I’m raising hell when I return.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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  1. This is all UK gossip mongering. Big money in that. Ka-Ching Ka-Ching. Entertainment for the peasantry.
    Love the elementary school playground similarity:
    “I killed 21 Taliban!”
    “No you didn’t!”
    “Yes I did.”
    ” No you didn’t!”
    “Liar liar pants on fire!” etc…
    Now that is entertainment, pass the nothing burger with cheese. Yum yum


  2. These are, tabloid tales, that’s meant to, keep our, attention for, no more than, three seconds, and after they got those, three short seconds under that, spotlight, the bulb, pops and, cracks, then, no more, attrntion on them, until the next, mini-fiasco happens…


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