Royal Family

Royal Potatoes


CNN03072021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

When Meghan and Harry talked about someone in the royal family, the Firm, expressing concern over their baby Archie’s skin color, I could relate. I believed them.

My family is closer to trailer parks than it is to palaces, but we have the same shit as the royal family. We have racism and I have family members I can’t talk to anymore.

In 2015, when Donald Trump was just a candidate for the presidency, I had to stop talking to two family members. It wasn’t because they were Trump supporters but them being Trump supporters is indicative of why we don’t talk. The obnoxious hate, ignorance, and narcissism that makes one a Trump supporter extends to other facets of people’s lives

I have several nieces. At that time, one of them was pregnant. She is white though she is Latina but most people may not be aware or they just forget…but whatever. She appears white. Her boyfriend, the father of the child, is black. They all live in a different state than I and you’re about to find out why I don’t want to live near my family.

A family member told my pregnant niece that society would not accept her baby because it would be half black. When I first heard this, I thought maybe there was miscommunication, someone was making it worse than it actually was, or even that she did say something horrible but it wasn’t racist. You see, my family has a penchant for drama and there are members with histories of making shit up. I did not hear it directly from the accused but I wanted to find out for myself.

My sister in-law told me of the offense. Then I talked to my niece who backed it all up and was obviously very upset. So I went straight to the horse’s mouth. I asked her specifically, “Did you say the baby would not be accepted by society because it would be black and white?” She said yes. She was proud and defiant that she said that.

It broke my heart.

I adored this person. I even let this person live with me for several years rent-free. Once, a friend needed to use my printer and I wasn’t home. But the relative who would later claim society won’t accept a mixed-race baby was home. I told my friend, who is female and black, to stop by my house and my relative would let her in. When she got there, my dog went nuts barking at her. My relative told her, fully believing her bullshit, that the dog was barking at her because dogs can’t see black people clearly because they have dog eyes which only allows them to see a grey silhouette when they look at a black person. Seriously. Never mind the fact the dog was a Jack Russell (they bark at everything. They bark at wind) who had already bitten about a dozen of my friends, most of them being white. It was embarrassing when my friend told me of this later but I chalked it up to my relative’s adorable stupidity. She’s not racist. She’s just ignorant and very stupid so don’t be too mad.

I was wrong. She was racist…and ignorant and stupid.

So years later, she’s back living in the Midwest saying hateful, terrible, and racist things to a pregnant teenager. When she admitted she did it, her argument was that we weren’t raised that way. But the racist motherfucker who raised her didn’t raise me and even if he had…it wouldn’t have been an excuse to carry on any stupid family lineage of hate and ignorance. I had to tell her right then, in 2015, that I couldn’t talk to her anymore. I told her I would not bother her, would not call her, and I would not text her. It’s 2021 now and I haven’t contacted her since.

There were a couple of comments here and there on Facebook (she once made hateful public posts about my girlfriend at the time even though my girlfriend had never done or said anything to her. Drama), but I have since blocked her and two others in my family just so I don’t have to see their shit on other family members’ posts and to keep myself from replying to them…or even thinking about them. And for the most part, I don’t think about them until racist royalty gives me a reminder. Oh, yeah. I have racist fucknuts in my family.

But the racism my family member expressed was only a part of the vile thing she said. Have you ever known a pregnant woman? You don’t say mean shit to a woman who is pregnant. You get in trouble when you say innocuous shit to a pregnant woman. I’ve had things thrown at me for asking a pregnant woman if my hair looked OK. She gave my pregnant niece a vile, despicable, hateful shit sundae. The racism was just the shit cherry on the top of the shit sundae.

I still love my family, even the stupid racist ones. But, that doesn’t mean I have to talk to them. From the sounds of it, Harry is still open to talking to his father and brother. If either of them is the perpetrators of the skin-tone comments, I wouldn’t be in a rush to talk to him. The thing is, racist people are not open-minded. It will be a long time and probably never that they ever call and apologize. They will probably never see they were racists or ever did anything wrong. These people are not good at “sorry.”

When I talk to my family members again, if I do, it will be on my terms, not theirs. People like this are poison. It’s best to cut poison out of your life…even if that poison is family. It’s just too bad but you have to cut it out…especially if you’re building a new family. It’s better to keep that poison away from your wife and child. I totally understand why Harry and Meghan moved to Far Far Away. I did too.

My advice when you have troglodytes in the family: Stay away.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Royal Racism


cjones03102021

I have never been that fascinated with the royal family of the United Kingdom. I’ve always paid some attention to it but not with any obsession. I remember when Charles and Diana were married. I remember the births of William and Harry. My interest lies more in history and I’ve gone down worm holes to understand the role of the monarchy in relation to parliament. I have watched about three episodes of The Crown.

When there is something special about the monarchy on TV, I will usually watch it. When Harry and Meghan were married, Stephanie Ruhl and Katie Tur of MSNBC covered the wedding in London and totally geeked out when Meghan’s carriage passed them. It was embarrassing. That, I don’t understand. But I figured I should watch Oprah’s interview with Harry and Meghan on Sunday night.

I didn’t even know this thing was happening until my editor at CNN told me Friday morning and that he was open to a cartoon about it. He was also open to cartoons about Mr. Potato Head and Dr. Seuss. So I gave him a cartoon featuring all three. Then I thought my clients might want a cartoon on the interview, so I watched.

Since a few details had come out about the special, I didn’t expect any big surprises and wasn’t looking forward to it. I was actually dreading it. Two hours for this? Man, I’m dedicated to my craft. But If I can sit through Donald Trump’s inauguration speech, then I can sit through just about anything.

I expected to be bored and the entire thing to just be trivial pop culture stuff. I was wrong. It was interesting. I expected the couple to come off whiny and entitled. I thought I’d roll my eyes at them and have trouble sympathizing. Instead, I was angry.

Who starts a conversation worried about a baby’s skin tone? Who does that? You’re supposed to be excited about an upcoming birth in your family. If nothing else, you shouldn’t be racist to members of your own family.

Here’s the dirt: Someone in The Firm, as the royal family and the organization that operates it is referred as, brought this up to Prince Harry as a major concern. Apparently, they were afraid of how it would look for the royal family if it had a black member, or at least one darker than Meghan. And it’s not the point as to how dark the baby would be. The issue here is that it was a concern.

When Harry married Meghan, I thought it was a bigger deal that she was divorced and an American. I didn’t think her being of mixed race was any kind of issue at all. Sure, there are racists out there who still get upset over mixed couples in Cheerio commercials but I thought the majority of us, those who didn’t vote for Trump, were over it. Even if you’re not racist, you may have still been surprised by this…20 years ago maybe.

If nothing else, I thought nobody in the royal family would concern themselves with it. I was wrong. Who was it? Harry wouldn’t say.

But what’s clear is that his relationship with his father and older brother, two future kings, is seriously damaged. He wouldn’t go into details except to say he was disappointed in them. Meghan also talked about Kate, William’s wife, making her cry…and then it being leaked to the tabloids that it was reversed, Meghan had made Kate cry.

Before they left the United Kingdom for Canada, and then Los Angeles, the Firm was opposed to giving any royal titles to Archie, the couple’s son. The baby whose skin tone someone was worried about. After they left the Firm, security was stripped from them. There was also talk about an investigation by the Firm over accusations that Meghan was a bully inside Buckingham Palace…but no investigations toward Prince Andrew being a rapist with Jeffrey Epstein. For someone, it was worse to have a black prince than a royal rapist.

So, who in the family was concerned about the baby’s skin tone? Who was so concerned and racist that they actually brought it up? Was it someone in the family or was it someone who works for them? It would be wrong to speculate and I discourage it. That said, I think it was Prince Charles.

Harry expressed how disappointed he was in his father because he had gone through the same kind of negativity and harassment from the British tabloids as he and Meghan were experiencing. The British tabloids are NOT like the legitimate press. They are totally focused on sensationalism. Even New York tabloids don’t have anything on them. The British tabloids are directly responsible for the death of Princess Diana, Harry’s mother. You would think the family would be more supportive.

I’m not surprised racism exists in the United Kingdom. It’s not just an American thing. We’re probably just louder about it after having a president (sic) for four years who encouraged and validated racist organizations. Say what you will about Boris, but at least he hasn’t retweeted Nazis (he hasn’t, has he?). We had a president who literally told white nationalists to march to the Capitol and overturn an election. But who knew there was racism in the royal family?

A Facebook friend of mine who is a Brit and often comments on my work wrote, “America has a race problem disguised as a class problem, we have a class problem which includes racism.” He wrote that before the interview aired. He was talking more about the tabloids and British society’s racism. This was before we learned someone in the royal family is afraid of black babies.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is that to escape UK racism, Harry and Meghan came here. Really? Did they not see that for 74 million Americans, racism was not a disqualifier in voting for Donald Trump? They didn’t see that racism is not a deal-breaker for a huge percentage of the population? I personally know people who have left this nation over the past four years because of racism. I know white people who left this country because of its racism.

They fled the UK where someone in the royal family was concerned about a baby with dark skin tone for a land led by a racist orange baby.

And seriously, worried about a baby having a dark skin tone? Maybe that’s the kind of thinking you get after generations of inbreeding.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Trust-Fund Royalty


cjones01112020

I had an excellent blog planned out in my head and I started on this cartoon at 5:30 a.m. Then, something struck in my stomach and I’ve been laid out nearly all day. I don’t know if it’s the cheeseburger I had last night or that I had two of them.

At any rate, no blog today. You got this. I gotta try to rest up before I start writing ideas for CNN. I hurt.

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