Royal Potatoes


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

When Meghan and Harry talked about someone in the royal family, the Firm, expressing concern over their baby Archie’s skin color, I could relate. I believed them.

My family is closer to trailer parks than it is to palaces, but we have the same shit as the royal family. We have racism and I have family members I can’t talk to anymore.

In 2015, when Donald Trump was just a candidate for the presidency, I had to stop talking to two family members. It wasn’t because they were Trump supporters but them being Trump supporters is indicative of why we don’t talk. The obnoxious hate, ignorance, and narcissism that makes one a Trump supporter extends to other facets of people’s lives

I have several nieces. At that time, one of them was pregnant. She is white though she is Latina but most people may not be aware or they just forget…but whatever. She appears white. Her boyfriend, the father of the child, is black. They all live in a different state than I and you’re about to find out why I don’t want to live near my family.

A family member told my pregnant niece that society would not accept her baby because it would be half black. When I first heard this, I thought maybe there was miscommunication, someone was making it worse than it actually was, or even that she did say something horrible but it wasn’t racist. You see, my family has a penchant for drama and there are members with histories of making shit up. I did not hear it directly from the accused but I wanted to find out for myself.

My sister in-law told me of the offense. Then I talked to my niece who backed it all up and was obviously very upset. So I went straight to the horse’s mouth. I asked her specifically, “Did you say the baby would not be accepted by society because it would be black and white?” She said yes. She was proud and defiant that she said that.

It broke my heart.

I adored this person. I even let this person live with me for several years rent-free. Once, a friend needed to use my printer and I wasn’t home. But the relative who would later claim society won’t accept a mixed-race baby was home. I told my friend, who is female and black, to stop by my house and my relative would let her in. When she got there, my dog went nuts barking at her. My relative told her, fully believing her bullshit, that the dog was barking at her because dogs can’t see black people clearly because they have dog eyes which only allows them to see a grey silhouette when they look at a black person. Seriously. Never mind the fact the dog was a Jack Russell (they bark at everything. They bark at wind) who had already bitten about a dozen of my friends, most of them being white. It was embarrassing when my friend told me of this later but I chalked it up to my relative’s adorable stupidity. She’s not racist. She’s just ignorant and very stupid so don’t be too mad.

I was wrong. She was racist…and ignorant and stupid.

So years later, she’s back living in the Midwest saying hateful, terrible, and racist things to a pregnant teenager. When she admitted she did it, her argument was that we weren’t raised that way. But the racist motherfucker who raised her didn’t raise me and even if he had…it wouldn’t have been an excuse to carry on any stupid family lineage of hate and ignorance. I had to tell her right then, in 2015, that I couldn’t talk to her anymore. I told her I would not bother her, would not call her, and I would not text her. It’s 2021 now and I haven’t contacted her since.

There were a couple of comments here and there on Facebook (she once made hateful public posts about my girlfriend at the time even though my girlfriend had never done or said anything to her. Drama), but I have since blocked her and two others in my family just so I don’t have to see their shit on other family members’ posts and to keep myself from replying to them…or even thinking about them. And for the most part, I don’t think about them until racist royalty gives me a reminder. Oh, yeah. I have racist fucknuts in my family.

But the racism my family member expressed was only a part of the vile thing she said. Have you ever known a pregnant woman? You don’t say mean shit to a woman who is pregnant. You get in trouble when you say innocuous shit to a pregnant woman. I’ve had things thrown at me for asking a pregnant woman if my hair looked OK. She gave my pregnant niece a vile, despicable, hateful shit sundae. The racism was just the shit cherry on the top of the shit sundae.

I still love my family, even the stupid racist ones. But, that doesn’t mean I have to talk to them. From the sounds of it, Harry is still open to talking to his father and brother. If either of them is the perpetrators of the skin-tone comments, I wouldn’t be in a rush to talk to him. The thing is, racist people are not open-minded. It will be a long time and probably never that they ever call and apologize. They will probably never see they were racists or ever did anything wrong. These people are not good at “sorry.”

When I talk to my family members again, if I do, it will be on my terms, not theirs. People like this are poison. It’s best to cut poison out of your life…even if that poison is family. It’s just too bad but you have to cut it out…especially if you’re building a new family. It’s better to keep that poison away from your wife and child. I totally understand why Harry and Meghan moved to Far Far Away. I did too.

My advice when you have troglodytes in the family: Stay away.

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2 comments

  1. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Wise words … “People like this are poison. It’s best to cut poison out of your life…even if that poison is family. It’s just too bad but you have to cut it out…especially if you’re building a new family. It’s better to keep that poison away from your wife and child. I totally understand why Harry and Meghan moved to Far Far Away.”

    Like

  2. They say you can’t choose your family, but you can certainly choose to have them in your life, or not. I have a brother, if he is still alive, who is a spouse beater, twice divorced. I have no idea 8f he is even alive. Last I heard he still had no idea why these women left him. He thinks he did nothing wrong!

    Like

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