Sinking Speaker Ryan


It doesn’t matter what you think of Nancy Pelosi. You can believe she’s too old, too liberal, too SanFrancisky. How you feel about her doesn’t change the fact that she’s damn good at her job, even if you don’t like what she does with her job.

John Boehner was extremely bad as Speaker of the House. The Republicans he led were all over the place and in constant revolt. The scary wing-nut Tea Party fringe of his party made being Speaker a miserable experience for him, and that was before the Trump era. Boehner couldn’t control his caucus, and he got out. Nancy Pelosi, on the other hand, can herd her cats. She’s still the leader of her party in the House.

Paul Ryan may be a worse Speaker than Boehner. To be fair, Ryan didn’t really want the job as he knew it was a task corralling unreasonable grown-up babies with tinges of racism…and that was before Trump became the leader of the Republican Party.

On Wednesday, Paul Ryan told his staff and the world what most of us already knew, he’s not going to be Speaker of the House in 2019.

Ryan stood up to Trump before Trump came to power. In 2016, after candidate Trump said a judge of Mexican heritage was unfit to oversee a lawsuit against him because he was of Mexican heritage, Ryan said that was the “textbook definition of a racist comment.”

After President Trump said there were good people among the white supremacists in Charlottesville chanting “blood and soil” and “Jews will not replace us,” Ryan was silent. When Trump said, “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?,” Ryan said those type of comments were “unfortunate.”

What was truly unfortunate was having a Speaker of the House refuse to stand up for what’s right and put country over party and Trump worship. Ryan was able to call out Trump’s racism until that racist became someone who’d help him cut healthcare benefits, provide huge tax cuts to the richest one percent of Americans, and place a conservative on the Supreme Court seat the GOP stole from President Obama.

Ryan always claimed his goal was to trim the national debt. With Trump’s help, he’s put into place cuts that will eventually leave us with a $19 trillion deficit.

Some say Ryan is getting out now because he doesn’t want to lose his upcoming election. I don’t think that’s it. I think he’s getting out now because he doesn’t want to work with the Trump and have to explain his early-morning tweets from the toilet anymore, and he has no ambition to be Minority Leader.

Ryan says he’s leaving to spend more time with his family as he’s tired of only seeing his children on weekends. We’ll see how often he’s home if he takes a job lobbying in D.C.

Paul Ryan sold his soul to the devil and that devil’s name is Donald Trump. Maybe, in a few short years from now when Trump is in a federal penitentiary, Paul Ryan can visit it on weekends.

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Congressional Booty


We do not send our representatives to Washington to use their positions to commit sexual harassment. And, when they do and have to settle their workplace disputes, we should not be the ones financing their settlements.

In the early 90s, there was a scandal over members of the House and Senate bouncing checks at the Congressional bank. Most of us weren’t even aware Congress had its own bank. The outrage was so loud that Congress eventually closed the bank. I believe this new information regarding a taxpayer-financed Congressional “shush” fund should garner more outrage.

While Democratic Congressman John Conyers’ settlement with a staffer accusing him of sexual misconduct came out of his own budget, it exposed that over $17 million of our money has been paid to settle workplace disputes, which includes cases of sexual harassment.

Do you know which lawmakers or their aides have settled disputes over sexual harassment? I don’t know either because it’s kept secret.

Representative Jackie Speier, a Democrat from California, testified that two sitting members of Congress, one in each party, have engaged in sexual harassment. She blames the Office of Compliance, which doles out the money. The Office of Compliance is complicit with sexual harassment because by paying these funds out secretly it doesn’t provide a warning for potential victims or punishment for the perpetrators.

Both chambers are now changing rules regarding sexual harassment. The House is about to pass a resolution requiring all members and their staffs participate in anti-harassment and anti-discrimination training, which the Senate has already adopted. A larger hurdle will be getting them to change the rules regarding secrecy. What do you want to bet there are more than two members who have paid out settlements? How many former members are there?

I want to know and I demand that right. So should you. We already know the House and Senate are full of shit weasels but do we have to finance them when they get gropey?

While Conyer’s settlement didn’t come from the “shush” fund, we still paid for it as it came out of his office’s budget. Should Conyers resign? Yes. While the charges against him may have been politically motivated, he still paid out a settlement, used our money to do it, and then kept it hidden. Yes, Conyers should resign. I will not be partisan when it comes to sexual harassment, especially when it’s combined with making us pay the toll for it. And, yes. It’s not fair for Conyers to resign while Trump is still in office but, one hurdle at a time, people.

Plus, if Conyers has to eat it maybe it’ll force those who legislate themselves to take this issue seriously. They need special training to behave like human beings instead of leeches and, they need to end the pattern of secrecy to protect themselves.

Settlements are often the only means in which a victim achieves some sort of justice. Unfortunately, these settlements are also used to silence the victims and protect the perpetrators. Using our money to silence victims is unjust and it should be criminal. Our money should not be used to protect the accused.

I want the accused named and I want it done now.

I haven’t been silenced about this and I intend to get very loud. Join me. Hold our elected representatives accountable.

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Big Nasty Georgia Peach


While Democrats are really disappointed by losing the special election for Georgia’s 6th Congressional district, Republicans are euphoric.

During the time of the primaries and the general election, the United Kingdom called and held an election for Parliament. We really take a long time with elections as our presidential campaigns last over two years. Sheesh!

There are challenges for both parties to take away from this election.

For the Republicans, they can’t get too excited. This was a seat they’ve held since Jimmy Carter was president. It’s a seat they usually win by large margins but with Trump in office, they’re barely clinging to them. They won Georgia by about four points.

They’re also gleeful that they’re 4-0 with special elections since Trump took office. They see these wins as proof that Trump is not hurting the down-ballot candidates. What they won’t mention on the news shows is that each of those wins was in very conservative districts in Georgia, Montana, Kansas, and South Carolina. They’re supposed to win these districts without much of any challenges, but they’re barely hanging onto them.

The challenge for Democrats is, don’t lose hope. They can’t let these losses cut into their enthusiasm or destroy their resistance. These were very red districts.

The midterm elections will be held next year and in politics, a year is a long time. A year of Donald Trump will give Democrats more ammunition, enthusiasm, and Republicans less to cling to. There are about 70 districts across the nation currently held by Republicans that are more susceptible for Democrats to flip. And maybe each seat won’t take over $50 million combined by both parties.

Some pundits are saying Jon Ossoff should have run harder to the left. He ran as a civil person and didn’t focus on Donald Trump. Being civil and reasonable won’t attract Republicans so I don’t see how being confrontational will. He was a good candidate for this district.

I saw some posts on social media from people blaming Bernie Sanders and saying everything he touches dies. I don’t see it that way. Who was he going to support in this election?

Karen Handel won the race by avoiding Donald Trump. He didn’t campaign for her and she didn’t mention his name until her victory speech. Then her crowd started shouting “Trump” repeatedly. It reminded me of the rally I attended in Virginia which made me feel like I stepped into a 1923 Munich Beer Hall.

Now that Handel has her seat she’s gonna have to kiss Trump’s seat. For that, just imagine it’s a Georgia peach.

A great big nasty Georgia peach.

Creative notes: Some of my clients may be afraid of this cartoon since it shows buttocks. I usually avoid butts in cartoons but a lot of my colleagues draw them all the freaking time. Some of them draw them so much I’m starting to think they have issues. I tried to make it look as much as a peach as possible. For them, pretend it’s a peach.

I had another idea on a different subject which will also scare my clients. Even if I have to put it off tomorrow (depending on what happens in the news), I am determined to draw it this week. I should probably do something this week that won’t freak my editors out.

I am currently blogging this from Starbucks at 6:40 a.m. as my home internet went out around 3:00 a.m. I don’t know. I unplugged stuff and plugged it back in. I’ll be screaming at someone later today.

Starbucks is really fricking cold this morning and there are screaming/squealing children which made it very hard to write. I’m going home.

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When You’re Ba-a-a-a-ad At Your Job


Say what you will about Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, but she knows how to do her job. The Democratic Party worked on the bill for the Affordable Care Act for over a year. When it came time to vote it passed without one Republican House member’s support. Pelosi, Speaker of the House at the time, herded enough Democrats to pass the bill without any single Republican vote.

Paul Ryan is not good at his job.

As Speaker of the House Ryan shoved a huge tax cut bill for the rich disguised as a healthcare law through the House in two weeks. Despite having the kind of majority where he could pass the bill without any Democrats, he still failed.

He couldn’t convince moderate Republicans to strip health coverage from over 20 million Americans. He couldn’t make the bill mean enough to convince his most rabid heartless members, the so-called “Freedom Caucus.” Not one Democrat supported the bill so naturally Trump blamed the bill’s failure on Democrats. Then he blamed the Freedom Caucus. Tomorrow he’ll probably blame Obama.

Ryan, previously regarded as a policy wonkish king of guy, didn’t seem to understand the finer aspects of the bill while he campaigned for it. Donald Trump seemed to understand it even less. The biggest reason they could give for supporting it was that it wasn’t Obamacare. Unfortunately for them, RyanCare, or TrumpCare, only had 17% support from the public. While Obamacare has its critics and flaws, it’s polling a hell of a lot higher than 17%.

Paul Ryan pulled the bill to avoid suffering an embarrassing defeat. Their plan now is to dismantle Obamacare piece by piece to prove to the public it’s not a good system, even if it takes them having to throw monkey wrenches into it. The public doesn’t want that. The public wants Obamacare improved, especially in regards with single-payer.

Some people argued that the Republicans wouldn’t allow a bad bill to pass, unlike the Democrats did with Obamacare. No. what the Republicans proved is that they’ve spent the past eight years being the party of “no” without any real plans of their own. They spent seven years telling us how bad Obamacare is. They voted repeatedly to repeal the law. Now that they have the power to repeal it and replace it with what Trump promised, “something better,” they failed to come through.

The party of No doesn’t know how to lead. It’s not debatable that they ever had a workable plan to replace Obamacare. On top of all that, Trump and Ryan has a party that’s not afraid of them.

Paul Ryan is a shepherd whose about to be eaten by his flock. How much do you want to bet Trump feeds him to the flock to save his own skin?

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Loud Boom Boom


The Republican nimrods in Washington aren’t content with repealing Obamacare, moving the American Embassy in Israel just to piss off Muslims, handing HUD over to a guy they wouldn’t give their car keys to, and stripping ethics out of Congress. Now they want to make it easier to purchase silencers for guns. All future mass shootings will now sound like your neighbor’s Prius.

Not only do Republicans and the friendly monsters at the NRA fight and scramble to make access to firearms as easy as possible for murderers and rednecks with small weenies, now they want to make it easier for them to be sneaky about it.

What’s the deal with gun nuts anyway? They have to have the largest firearms with the most firepower that can shoot the most rounds at the fastest speed possible so they can overcompensate for their dinky manhood, yet they’re too loud for them?

You want to be obnoxious yet be quiet about it? You don’t see bikers going to a Harley Davidson shop and ask if they make quiet models? Bikes, like guns are made so people can be assholes. Don’t be a total wimp about it, Nancy Pants.

I am aware silencers aren’t as quiet as they’re depicted in movies. They don’t actually make a low sharp little “pyew pyew pyew” sound. There’s still a bang but it’s muffled, like a car with a muffler. In fact, the same guy who invented car mufflers invented the silencer. See? I research.

Even though they’re not technically silent, and officially they’re called “suppressors,” and they still “bang,” they’re still a lot quieter than guns without muzzles. Someone could easily fire more rounds in a noisy environment like an airport, night club, Congress, before people are aware there’s another national tragedy occurring. Silencers can also be effective in confusing people as to where the shots are coming from (here’s a clue: Look for the angry white guy).

It’s a dumb idea to make it easier for the public to purchase silencers. It’s bad enough idiots in Texas can’t go to Starbucks without an AK strapped to their back. Gun advocates are claiming it’s a safety issue to protect their hearing. There’s two other ways to protect your hearing from guns. One is to purchase earmuffs. How freaking inconvenient is that? It’s gotta be a lot cheaper than purchasing a silencer. Another way to protect your hearing is to stop shooting guns. Stop going to a gun range. That’s like going to a Nascar event and complaining the cars are loud. Surprise! It’s noisy. Next thing you’re going to do is complain that fish taste fishy.

All the self-styled Rambos and Dirty Harrys out there need to get a grip on something other than a Glock. Their new toys and overcompensation shouldn’t take away the liberty of people to survive.

You wanna silence something? Try Trump’s mouth. That is if they can make a muzzle large enough.

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Sucky Healthcare


During the presidential campaign Donald Trump promised to repeal Obamacare and replace it with “something better.” He never told us what “something better” includes but we’re going to love it.

After The Affordable Healthcare Act was passed in 2012 Republicans attempted to repeal it over 60 times. Not once in that time span have they had a plan to replace it with. Today they tell us they’re going to “repeal and replace.” The details they’re short on is what they’re going to replace it with.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is a man who knows policy. He’s intelligent, informed, and is very detailed on specifics. He’s the Republican’s top guy and even he can’t give us details on this replacement. The leeches might be an appropriate analogy as we’re now looking for a healthcare plan from a man who looks like Eddie Munster.

A majority of voters want Obamacare repaired. A lot of premiums have shot up and consumers are feeling the pain. Republican voters want it repealed entirely without considering they may be uninsured afterward. Many are covered by Obamacare and they’re not even aware of it. On top of all this anyone who believes their rates will go down after Obamacare is repealed are idiots. They probably believe Putin is a good guy and we should trust Julian Assange over the CIA. Of course we’re talking about Trump voters so we’re not talking about people who play with full decks.

Voters gave Republicans full control of the government and they’re about to get what has been promised. The GOP plans to trash Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and access to healthcare for everyone. But hey, America will be great again.

What should be clear to everyone is that Republicans suck.

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Alarmed Over Ethics


After Paul Ryan was reelected as Speaker of the House yesterday he addressed his colleagues and said “we are not here to be. We are here to do.” It’s what the Republicans are doing in Congress that should concern us all.

What was the very first priority for House Republicans on the first day of the 115th Congress? Kill Obamacare? Strike down the Iran nuclear agreement? Tax cuts for corporations? Blast environmental regulations? Give themselves pay raises and go on a recess? Give Democrats wedgies? None of that.

The first thing they did was prove they have no intentions of actually draining the swamp and they held a secret vote at night to gut the semi-independent office that investigates House ethics.

Why would Republicans do something like this? That’s a rhetorical question. Now that they have the majority in the House, Senate, and a president-elect who believes conflicts of interests and ethics don’t apply to him, they figured it shouldn’t apply to them either. After all, their new leader celebrated New Year’s Eve at his golf club with business partners and guests who paid $575 a piece to party with The Donald (club members had a $50 discount).

Paul Ryan and Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy disagreed with the vote. Trump joined them and criticized it on his favorite platform, Twitter. They weren’t so much against getting rid of the ethics office as they were with the timing of the move. They’ll be fine with it if, and when, it comes later during this session. It will come later.

House members were bombarded with calls from an angry public. This maneuver, orchestrated by Virginian Republican Bob Goodlatte, would have prevented the office from investigating potentially criminal allegations, allowed lawmakers on the House Ethics Committee to shut down any O.C.E. investigation and, for good measure, gagged the office’s staff members in their dealings with the news media.

While Trump was tweeting faster than a speeding bullet criticizing the timing of the vote, his number one gaslighter Kellyanne Conway was on television saying House Republicans have a “mandate” to curb “overzealousness” over ethics. I don’t remember that issue being pressed on the campaign trail at all. Do you? Again, that was another rhetorical question. I think going out with Kellyanne Conway would resemble a mandate (Sorry. That was sexist. I couldn’t resist).

The Office of Congressional Ethics was created in 2008, by Democrats, after  a series of bribery and corruption scandals slammed both parties and sent three House members to jail. Four of the Republicans who joined the Goodlatte gang have previously been investigated by the office.

After the quick outrage the GOP did a huge pivot and dropped it and the issue has gone back to the House to be “studied.” What they’re really doing is studying the best time to whip it out again. Probably sneak it into a bill honoring veterans or a Kentucky race horse. Who knows.

This also shows that as soon as Trump breaks the law and violates his presidential oath, probably on January 21, that this House will have little concern of holding him accountable.

Kellyanne Conway will tell you that’s a mandate.

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