House

Smoking In The Goons Room

It seems like the point of most Republican initiatives is to be an asshole. But then again, racists are assholes. Republicans believe stuff like dropping immigrants off without advance notice in sanctuary states is hilarious, and “owning the libs.” But using human refugees as pawns for a political stunt is a dick move. And if you really wanna be an asshole, a surefire way to do that is to blow smoke in someone’s face. Republicans always do that figuratively but now in the House of Representatives, they’ll be doing it literally.

I hate smoking. Yes, I’m a former smoker and I know that if I smoked even one today that it would make me hack and become physically nauseous…and I’d probably finish the cigarette then go to 7/11 and buy a carton of Camel Blues. Although I hate smoking and the smell of it, tasting it would probably feel like discovering the sweet nectar that’s been missing from that one empty spot deep within my soul. Oh, mama. This is why I have not even taken a drag since I quit in November 2019.

But I do think they stink. And since I’m a former smoker, they stink more to me than they do to people who never smoked. Former smokers are the worst. What really grinds my gears is that each time I smell cigarettes on someone, I know that’s how others used to smell me. Ya see, smokers don’t smell the smoke on their bodies and clothing. Oddly enough, even though I hate the smell, I can hang out with friends in a smoking bar (we still have a few here that found loopholes in the smoking-ban law) and it really doesn’t bother me until I get home and smell it on my clothes. I don’t have urges to pick it up again.

I can smell a burning cigarette from 50 feet or so. When I caught Covid-19 in 2020, what made me realize I needed to be tested was when I walked within 50 feet of some smokers and couldn’t smell it.

And now if you walk into the halls of the House side of Congress, you may come out smelling like an old man bar. Those are the worst. Old man bars are worst because old fucks tend to smoke generic cigarettes and trust me, there’s a difference in the funk from a name-brand cigarette. Smokers will back me up on this.

When Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the House in 2007, she banned smoking in the Capitol though it was still allowed in representatives’ offices (most of those are in office buildings, not the Capitol building itself). John Boehner was such a heavy smoker, that when Paul Ryan replaced him, the walls of the Speaker’s had to be repainted and the carpet and curtains replaced because of the stink. Nobody wants to smell like John Boehner.

Smoking is banned indoors in Washington, D.C. In fact, when I quit smoking, I planned for it to coincide with a week I was to attend a conference in the district. It can be difficult to smoke in Washington. But the ban doesn’t extend to the Capitol, which makes its own laws.

In the 1990s, President Bill Clinton banned smoking in all federal buildings that fell under the jurisdiction of the Executive Branch, which doesn’t affect the Legislative or Judicial branches. And now half of Congress will be smoke-filled again.

For comparison, the Senate side of the Capitol building banned smoking way back in 1914. House Speaker James Blaine of Maine banned smoking on the House floor and galleries, only while in session, 150 years ago. James Blaine of Maine had to be a pain and told smokers to refrain from exhuming the toxins that remain which they probably also did on trains. Sorry.

Kevin McCarthy’s House of Representatives has now banned the smoking ban. This is a move to “own the libs” because it’s something Pelosi instituted and a lot of Republicans look at smoking bans as an attack on their freedom to give nonsmokers second-hand lung cancer. Also, it’s another way to be an asshole. Fun, fun, fun, whee.

Ursula Perano, a reporter who covers Congress for The Daily Beast tweeted, “There has indeed been some cigar hotboxing happening in a certain Rules Committee chairman’s office, which is nearby the House press gallery. And the smell is…… strong.” She was backed up by Reuters’ Patricia Zengerle.

Ugh, cigars. If you really wanna go the extra mile and prove you’re an inconsiderate asshole, smoke a cigar in public. Even when I was a smoker, I would leave an establishment because of cigar stench. Ew. Just the thought of it now and….hold on. BLEAAAAAAAGH!!!!

Pipes can be different. The smell from a pipe is typically kinda sweet and even some nonsmokers can find it somewhat pleasant. My first editor was a pipe smoker and his office was next to mine, yet the smell never bothered me. I kinda liked it. It didn’t make me want to smoke a pipe (could you see me with a pipe?), but it was OK.

But the one true reason for the House repealing the smoking ban is to show just how regressive they plan to be. This is an indicator. Also, it defies science which Republicans hate. But even with the smoking ban, there was still smoke coming from Republicans. Liar liar, pants on fire… everything they do is based on a lie. I told someone yesterday that I haven’t heard an argument from a Republican since 2015 that didn’t contain a lie.

What’s stinkier in Congress? A Republican cigar or George Santo’s lying pants?

Creative note: Yesterday’s blog was partly about political cartoonists who trace. Before drawing this, I looked at some other cartoons of the Capitol and could tell that a lot of those were traced. There’s one political cartoonist who’s a tracer, but he never “draws” the same subject twice. He’ll trace it once and then recycle it in later cartoons. Obviously, my version here was not traced and I don’t think it actually looks that much like the Capitol, but I liked it so I kept it.

Facebook Suspension Update: My suspension is over and I want to thank everyone who shared my cartoons, blogs, and videos on the platform during my absence. Since I only had about ten days between 30-day suspensions, some of my readers are talking about having a pool on how long until my next suspension.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Wanker Investigations

Prince Harry fled to the United States and did the most American thing one can do, publish a tell-all. Harry says that he hopes to repair his relationship with his family in the future, but you don’t do that by publishing a tell-all.

I’m not taking sides. I care about Harry versus Willy about as much as I cared about Jacob versus Edward. I’m disgusted that I can even know that reference.

I watched some of the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan, but I didn’t watch the 60 Minutes or ITV interviews of Harry. I did read a couple of analyses of it, including this one by CNN. My greatest take from them is boo-hoo-hoo.

These royals are spoiled welfare babies who live in a bubble and will turn on each other for the slightest bit of good press in the tabloids. Drugged-out rock bands don’t turn on each other as badly as this for good press. According to Harry, his own father would leak damaging info about his two sons in order to gain sympathy from the public. Now, Harry is doing the same thing to gain sympathy from the public, and in order to do so, he’s dishing dirt on his father and brother.

Harry makes his father and brother look like jerks. He claims his brother physically assaulted him during an argument over press coverage of Meghan. He says his father didn’t hug him when he told him his mother, Diana, had died. He claims in his book, “Spare,” that his dad would joke that one of his mother’s lovers might be his real father.

My father told some revolting jokes to his children, but never anything as bad as, “Who knows if I’m even your real father? Maybe your real father is in Broadmoor, darling boy!” Of course, if my father had ever called me “darling boy,” then I’d start to suspect he wasn’t my father.

My main gripe over the coverage of the royals is the sexist treatment Meghan Markle receives. Maybe some of that is also by the royal family. But it’s sexist to blame her for the rift between Harry and his family. Yes, if you’ve shared a Yoko meme, you’re being sexist. Just like John Lennon was when the Beatles broke up, Harry is an adult and is responsible for his own decisions and actions. Blaming Meghan may also be racist.

I don’t really care that much about the royals, but there’s more meat to this than with Hunter Biden, who is not a royal. If the Tories in Parliament were as vile, horrifying, and stupid as the House Republicans, then they’d be starting investigations into Prince Harry as a distraction.

It’s a lot easier to politicize something for the noise it makes than it is to pass significant legislation. The House Republicans will prove this over the next two years because they’re going to make a lot of noise without passing anything that’ll make it through the Senate and land on the president’s desk. Matt Gaetz has already made an appeal for the cameras in the House chamber to be on 24/7.

On another note about families: Notice that Harry didn’t publish his book while his grandmother the queen was still alive. If he had, She probably would’ve kicked his ass.

Music note: I listened to The Pixies.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 2 days left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban,” and I’m raising hell when I return.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Most Punchable Face In Washington

The most shocking thing about a congressman trying to punch Matt Gaetz in his ridiculous-looking face is that it’s the first time it’s ever happened…as far as we know. And I don’t find it surprising that the attempted puncher of the most punchable face in Washington was one of Gaetz’s fellow Republicans.

Honestly, maybe Gaetz doesn’t have the MOST punchable face in Washington. He has competition from Jim Jordan, Rand Paul, and Ted Cruz. He even has stiff competition for the most punchable face in Florida from Rick Scott and Ron DeSantis.

Republicans typically behave like dehumanized troglodytes but when I see one try to physically assault Matt Gaetz, it makes me think that maybe there is some humanity in that person. And if you stayed up late Friday night, that’s what you saw… a Republican tried to attack Matt Gaetz. The greatest mystery here is, why did another Republican hold him back?

Matt Gaetz is a pathetic vile troll who tries to derail the government for attention when he’s not busy showing off naked photos of all the girls he claims he’s had sex with. If anything, the Department of Justice should have slapped Gaetz with an indictment for taking teen girls across state lines for sex.

I have two questions for you: Who do you believe has the most punchable face in Washington and, how much would you pay to slap the taste out of Matt Gaetz’s mouth?

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 4 days left (ooh, we’re getting closer), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Pachyderm Problems

Republicans have made a lot of promises about how they’ll use their House majority. They’re going to close the border, go after “unelected” bureaucrats, they’re going to cut spending, they’re gonna conduct multiple investigations after more investigations, blah, blah, blah. Legislate and govern? They can’t even get through the door.

Yesterday, two members of the Goon Squad, or if you prefer, the Gaggle of Idiots got lost while walking through the Capitol. Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert are loving holding their own party hostage because it gives them power, makes them relevant for a moment, and gets them on TV. While showing their asses to the media yesterday, they got lost. I’m surprised they didn’t bump into pathological lying freshman Republican George Santos because he got lost too. At least Santos can blame getting lost on it being his first day. What’s Boebert’s and Gaetz’s excuse? Didn’t they map the place out for their January 6 insurrection?

These “rebels” who are members of the so-called Freedom Caucus don’t have a plan beyond holding their party hostage. They’re not even the entire Freedom Caucus. They have the votes to deny the speakership to Kevin McCarthy, who’s currently on his fourth defeat for that job and probably headed for his fifth at this writing, but they don’t have the votes to elect their choice of speaker.

And if they do get their choice of speaker, which was Jim (Gym) Jordan yesterday (and Byron Donalds for the fourth vote today), this would be a speaker they don’t listen to. Jordan told them to vote for McCarthy and they’re not following him. Of course, Jordan doesn’t want the job because then he’d have to herd racist moronic cats when he’d rather be chairing a gaslighting committee investigating something that doesn’t exist.

Matt Gaetz claims he’s opposing Kevin McCarthy because he’s draining the swamp, while he and other members of the Goon Squad are offering their votes for committee assignments, including chairs of committees. According to reports, each time McCarthy meets one of their demands, they add another one, like Fruit-Roll-Ups Tuesdays. Gaetz said he knows swamps since he’s from Florida, and he sure does. There’s nothing swampier than trading your vote for perks.

The Democratic side has stayed loyal with every member voting for Hakeem Jeffries, who’s received more votes than McCarthy all four times. If anything, this shows that Jeffries is a better leader than anyone the GOP side can put up. Nancy Pelosi taught him well.

And that’s just it. When this is finally decided and we have a Republican Speaker of the House, he or she will be the weakest speaker in the history of that elective body. The GOP’s slim majority is being held hostage by 20 members. When this is over, they’ll be able to hold their own hostage again and again. And it’s not like they know how to govern even if they were all on the same page.

A Speaker of the House doesn’t have a mandate if it takes over four votes to win the job.

Why does Kevin McCarthy even want this job? It’s a job of counting votes and he’s shown he can’t do that. He’s shown he can’t babysit these Republicans. He’s shown he can’t do the job he wants so badly. And he’s had since 2018 to rally up these votes. He went into the first vote without having counted them beforehand. Nancy Pelosi never held a vote without first knowing how many she had.

It may not matter who eventually wins the speakership but I hope it’s not McCarthy. I hate to see ass-kissers rewarded. And here, Kevin has kissed every ass put before him and he still isn’t getting what he wants. I also don’t want Jordan to get it because this man helped with an insurrection and in trying to steal an election. Jordan should be facing federal criminal charges for sedition, not chairing committees or being the leader of his caucus.

But I’m pretty sure whoever gets the job is going to burn the place down. They already tried.

Creative note: I wasn’t even thinking of the self-hostage-taking scene in Blazing Saddles when I did this, but Laura, one of my copy editors, mentioned it to me after seeing this and a reader tweeted it at me. Now, I kinda wish I had made the hostage taker and hostage one elephant.

Music note: I listened to The Toadies.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 8 days left (I forgot to update this part over the past few days), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Nancy’s Replacement

Nancy Pelosi stepped down from being the leader of House Democrats citing it’s time for younger leadership, and she wasn’t kidding. Yesterday, 52-year-old Hakeem Jeffries, a representative whose district includes parts of Brooklyn and Queens, became the party’s new leader in the House. And if you think 52 is old, get off my blog. Not only is he the first black person to lead any party in Congress, but he’s also the first born after World War II to lead the House Democrats. Jeffries’ next goal is to be Speaker in the next two years.

There was a lot of speculation with Pelosi stepping down that Republicans will struggle to find a booger monster, a new person to vilify, a new person to gaslight and scare their base with. I wasn’t that worried.

Republicans have been using Pelosi as campaign fodder for over two decades, but why should they stop now just because she’s stepping down from leadership? They’re still using Hillary Clinton as a villain. They’re still using President Obama. Hell, they’re still using Michelle Obama. Are they still blaming her for making children eat vegetables?

And keep in mind, they still have Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Oh no! She’s gonna ban hamburgers!), Ilhan Omar (Oh no…she hates Jews almost as much as Donald Trump’s lunch companions!), and Kamala Harris (Oh no! She’s a black woman!). But as for the new guy, Republicans may struggle to lie and gaslight the guy.

Sure, they tell their supporters that all Democrats, including President Biden, are in favor of defunding the police despite it not being true, and that Critical Race Theory is being mandated in schools and the Green New Deal is destroying the economy, even though neither CRT nor GND actually exist in any schools or passed legislation. They can always fall back on “woke” again even though not one Republican in the nation can tell you what it is. It’s like Hunter’s laptop.

They’ll also have a difficult time finding a foothold to vilify Jeffries because he’s not their favorite type of target. You know, female. He is black and that’s helpful if your aim is to scare white conservatives, but it’d be so much easier if he had a vagina. They’re gonna have to come up with some shit like they did with President Obama, like pointing out he has a funny name and lie that he’s a Muslim. Avoid gray suits and Dijon mustard on hamburgers, Hakeem. They’ll use anything.

Like with Obama, Republicans are going to have a tough time hitting Jeffries because he’s a genuinely nice guy who’s scandal-free. It’s not like he has five kids with three wives and ran fake charities and universities while claiming he can sexually assault women because he’s famous. He was born in Brooklyn but maybe Republicans can start demanding to see his birth certificate while claiming he was born in Djibouti.

The trick with the GOP base isn’t an actual trick at all. You just have to make an accusation once and after Hannity or Tucker says it, it becomes “fact” to the Yee-Haw base. I mean, how did they manage to sell that Biden liking ice cream means something evil? Bwahahahahaha ice cream. Yeah, I don’t get it.

I think Democrats made a great pick by selecting Hakeem Jeffries to be their next House leader as he’s proven he can count votes and has been for the past several years to attain this position. The other reason he’s a great pick is that he’s clean, as in the GOP will have to make up some serious bullshit to vilify the guy. The liberal faction in the House believes Jeffries is a moderate. How are they going to paint him as being a radical liberal when the radical liberals will reply, “Yeah, we wish”?

Maybe they can make up something about him exposing himself to teenage girls at bowling alleys, oh wait. That’s Lauren Boebert’s husband. Maybe they can say he didn’t graduate high school and never went to college…oh wait, That’s Lauren Boebert.

Music Note: I listened to Them Crooked Vultures.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Big Fat Nothings

Republicans campaigned for the midterms promising to fight crime, inflation, the recession, open borders, and high gas prices. For all that, they won the House with an itty bitty tiny minuscule majority. Naturally, with a tiny majority, the GOP is on notice and needs to be productive at governing and producing significant legislation in order to retain power and perhaps even grow its majority in two years. To pass anything significant, they’ll need to compromise with Democrats. They’re not going to do that.

The Republicans are going to spend the next two years on partisan bullshit. They’re going to make a lot of noise over nothing. They’re going to repeat what they did with Benghazi. What did they do there? They conducted multiple investigations which were effective politically but that’s it. They didn’t prove any crimes or negligence…but they hurt Hillary Clinton.

Back in 2015 just as the race for the presidency was beginning, Kevin McCarthy told Sean Hannity, “Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she’s untrustable. But no one would have known any of that had happened, had we not fought.”

The GOP had the majority in the House then and McCarthy was the second goon in command. He openly admitted the entire reason for the Benghazi investigation was to hurt Hillary Clinton. That’s it. They didn’t produce any results and the GOP was lousy at legislating, but boy, could they investigate the shit out of nothing. That investigation cost you $7 million. Thanks, fiscal conservatives.

Also, remember McCarthy is the same goon who cries that the select committee investigating the insurrection is partisan and political.

Now, they’re going to investigate Hunter Biden. They’ve been barking nonstop over the past two years about Hunter Biden’s laptop without producing anything significant. Again, what’s on Hunter’s laptop? They couldn’t tell you. And in two more years, after they’ve spent millions investigating Hunter, they still won’t be able to tell you. That’s my prediction and I feel pretty confident about it.

And if Republicans actually cared about corruption, they’d investigate Trump making money from foreign governments while he was in office. They’d investigate why Saudi Arabia gave Jared $2 billion after he left the White House. Instead, they’re going to investigate the Justice Department for investigating actual crimes Donald Trump committed. Which crimes? Take your pick. There are several.

They’re going to make a lot of noise about the military withdrawal from Afghanistan while ignoring it was an agreement Trump negotiated with the Taliban. In two years, we’ll be right where we are today.

It’ll be the same way with Dr. Fauci, Merrick Garland, the border, and whatever other bullshit they can come up with. Republican success with these investigations won’t be any change in policies, legislation, impeachments, or even by providing Americans with answers. Success for them will be if they can convince Americans that Joe Biden is bad, even if they can’t tell you why. They did it with Hillary. Why is Hillary bad? We don’t know but we got decades of Republicans telling us she is so it must be true, right?

For the next two years, Republicans will be giving us nothing but gaslighting. They have the majority which gives them the power to set the agenda and issue subpoenas, which might be awkward after spending the past two years telling the public to ignore congressional subpoenas.

I hope America pays attention. Inflation, high gas prices, crime, the recession, the borders? Republicans don’t solve legitimate problems. Remember this in two years. In two years, tell me what the GOP House majority accomplished. I can jump ahead and tell you now.

Nothing.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Extremists in the House

America returned control of the House of Representatives to Republicans in the midterm elections, despite the fact they’re Republicans. What I mean by that is, Republicans oppose everything the majority of voters in this nation are in favor of.

Most Americans favor democracy and mail-in voting. Most Americans favor ballot drop boxes. Most Americans choose the United States over Russia. Most Americans are in favor of a woman’s right to choose and believe abortion should remain legal in every state. Most Americans support Medicare and Social Security. Most Americans support Obamacare. Most Americans support student debt relief. Most Americans oppose coups and insurrections. Most Americans believe Joe Biden won because most Americans voted for him.

Republicans are also the party of racists, liars, and lunatics. Who do you think the Proud Boys vote for? Who do you think Klansmen and Nazis vote for?

But Republicans ran on a message of fighting crime, reducing inflation, lowering gas prices, and closing our “open” borders (bullshit). This is what a lot of Americans voted for when they voted for a Republican. So what will Republicans do now that they have the power to set the agenda? They’re going to impeach Hunter Biden.

In case you weren’t paying attention during the campaigns for the midterms, and if you voted for a Republican you weren’t, none of the Republicans offered solutions to inflation, high gas prices, crime, or to border issues. Not a single one of them proposed any ideas. They just made a lot of noise about it. What are we going to do about the open border? We’re going to close it. How? By closing it!

And in case you weren’t paying attention to the last time Republicans controlled the House, you’ll remember they don’t know how to govern. I guess you forgot that. What was John Boehner’s greatest legislative accomplishment as Speaker? What was Paul Ryan’s? The biggest legislative achievement in the Trump era when the GOP controlled the House and Senate was to give Trump and other billionaires tax cuts. That was it. They didn’t even fund his wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for.

Now, Republicans have a slim majority which is a huge problem for them. There’s a difference between Democrats having a slim majority and Republicans having one. The Democrats had Nancy Pelosi, who just announced she won’t seek the leadership position in January. But as Speaker, Pelosi is the G.O.A.T. She can count votes and herd cats. Even with disagreements and small revolts from the likes of the Squad, Pelosi still got things done. She out-negotiated Donald Trump and kicked his ass repeatedly. Remember when the House voted for Trump’s first impeachment and applause broke out by Democrats until Nancy gave that look? When she gave the mother’s look, the House fell silent. Nancy was the BOSS.

Republicans on the other hand are held hostage to their extremists. Kevin McCarthy has already bent over for the Dum-Dum Caucus, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, and before he was defeated in a primary, Madison Cawthorn.

Despite the slim majority, Republicans can set the agenda and they have subpoena power. So expect subpoenas to be sent out by the very same people who refused to cooperate with an investigation into an insurrection that tried to overturn our government.

Republicans plan to investigate Hunter Biden despite the fact there is already an investigation into him by the Department of Justice and that Hunter has never held a government position. There will NOT be an investigation into Jared receiving $2 billion from the Saudis right after he left his post of making government deals with the Saudis.

The Republicans’ plan to investigate Hunter is strange also because there’s been nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and nothing at all that implies or suggests President Biden did anything illegal, unethical, or inappropriate when it came to his son’s business dealings. And despite having the laptop in their hands for two years, it hasn’t even given Republicans any evidence that Hunter did anything illegal. But expect them to spend millions of dollars on a two-year investigation that produces nothing. I expect Jim Jordan to chair this one.

I’ve said this before and I’m gonna say it again. Ask any Republican, or Ted “Sputnik boy” Rall, what’s on the laptop.

Instead of investigating Donald Trump’s crime of stealing classified government documents, they are going to investigate the investigators. They did this right after Trump assumed the presidency. Instead of investigating Russian spies and Russian collusion in the Trump Campaign, they investigated the people who investigated Russian spies and Russian collusion in the Trump Campaign. How will the House do this without Devin Nunes, who is now overseeing Truth Social or some shit like that?

They’re going to spend millions investigating the military withdrawal from Afghanistan but ignore that it was negotiated by Donald Trump and the Taliban. This one should be fun and it might be short because there will be Democrats on the committee and one of them might bring up the Trump/Taliban factor.

They’re going to investigate border policies and attempt to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas.

They’re going to investigate the origins of Covid-19 and I really really really really hope they put Marjorie Taylor Greene on this committee. Since this is starting out with nothing but conspiracy theories, I believe Republicans are dumb enough to give her a seat on the committee. Before she was removed from her committee assignments for endorsing death threats against Speaker Pelosi, MTG, Ms. Jewish Space Lasers, sat on the Education Committee…seriously.

But mostly, when it comes to significant legislation, there will be two years of nothing. Remember that M. Night Shyamalan film “The Happening” where nothing happened? I still wonder how I sat through two hours of a plot about grass ordering humans to kill themselves, but then I remember some fuckers have sat through entire Trump speeches (but in my defense, the grass wasn’t bigoted and ordering only Jews to jump off buildings). But yeah, it’s going to be like that not-happening movie…but for two years. And in 2024, we can point out that the GOP did nothing for two years…except shut down the government which I’m sure they’ll do at least once over some insignificant bullshit (remember when Donald Trump only got a little bit of money for his racist border wall, so he shut down the government, and Pelosi negotiated him into not getting any money for his racist border wall? Ah, good times).

So, expect two years of nothingness except for Republicans shooting themselves in their collective foot….like all the other times voters gave them control of the House since 1994.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Mandatory Voting? The Horror!!!

cjones03242015

I’m actually against mandatory voting. It’s a dumb idea that wouldn’t survive the Constitutional test. It’s an idea with good intentions. Everyone should be civic minded enough to vote. However you also have the freedom to be a lethargic Cheeto eating couch dwelling sponge.

A part of me wants to support mandatory voting just to watch Republicans freak out. If everyone voted it would truly hurt the GOP and they’d never win a midterm election again. Never again.

Despite being the one to start the discussion I don’t think President Obama is actually for mandatory voting. He didn’t even endorse the idea or propose it becoming a law. He just talked about, probably only to freak out Republicans.

I’m not afraid of it becoming law. Obama doesn’t have time, it would never pass a GOP-controlled Congress, and it wouldn’t survive the first court challenge.

Freedom of speech includes the freedom to not speak at all.

I drew this cartoon and after scanning it into Photoshop I realized I hated the drawing. So I redrew the Capitol building several times until I etched one out I could actually live with. I’m really not that happy with the final version.

Here’s the one I couldn’t live with.

cjones03242015