Tricky Woulda Thunk It

D’oh! The White House was shocked, dismayed, surprised, bewildered, caught off guard, gobsmacked at the backlash they received for firing FBI Director James Comey. They thought everyone would like Trump firing the man leading an investigation into his campaign coordinating with the Russians. Hey, at least the Russians like the firing.

Of course these are the same people who thought it would be a good idea to send Education Secretary Betsy Devos, who recently said the founders of historically black colleges were real pioneers of school choice, to a historically black college. What’s next? Sending Steve Bannon to speak at a synagogue?

A colleague of mine made a statement that there are a lot of Nixon cartoons being drawn over the Comey firing issue. He’s right and there’s all sorts of comparisons being made in the press to Nixon’s firing of Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox in 1974 to what’s famously phrased as the “Saturday Night Massacre.”

My third cartoon of 2017 was comparing Trump to Nixon and I believe I’ve successfully refrained since then until today from drawing him again. Using Nixon is an easy go-to metaphor just like using Hitler, Nazis, and Klansmen for racist-like behavior. But it’s really hard not to compare the Trump administration to Nazis when he’s retweeting, associating, and filling his cabinet with Nazis. It’s also hard not to when the KKK throws a parade in Trump’s honor, but I digress.

Every president since Nixon has been compared to Nixon at some point during their administrations. Trump is drawing the comparisons to the point that the Nixon Library doesn’t want their guy compared to Trump. Who can blame them? Nixon was an evil, deceitful, corrupt piece of crap, but comparing him to Trump is a bit too much for the Nixon Milhous Fanclub. At the very least Nixon didn’t express more loyalty to a hostile nation than to the United States or grab anyone’s vagina.

Trump may wish to be compared more to Old Hickory Andrew Jackson than to Nixon, but right now Old Dickory is closer to being compared to Tito Jackson than Andrew.

Trump’s reasoning for firing Comey is not believable. There are reports that he was looking for a reason to can the FBI director and the Deputy Attorney General gave him one in that Comey was to mean to Hillary Clinton. Donald Trump caring about Clinton’s well-being is about as believable as him caring about Rosie O’Donnell’s feelings, or Steve Bannon going kosher.

There is another report that Comey asked for more resources, from the man who eventually recommended his firing, to investigate the Russia case. He also reportedly told associates that Trump was “crazy” for claiming Obama wiretapped him and that he was “outside the realm of normal.” Why didn’t Comey make a move on Melania while he was at it? Or even worse, question Trump’s ratings and crowd sizes?

The Washington Post is reporting Trump was becoming frustrated that Comey wasn’t loyal to him and wasn’t doing enough to look into leaks of his administration’s connections to Putin. At the very least Comey should have been as loyal to Trump as Trump is to Putin, right? Why couldn’t Comey just shut up and eat the meatloaf?

Another detail that was chapping the prez’s spray-tanned hide was Comey not backing up Trump’s claim that Obama had him wiretapped. What really made him nauseous was Comey stating that the thought of his decisions affecting the election’s outcome made him nauseous. Trust me. We’re all nauseous. And I’m not talking about the kind of nauseous after being made aware of Trump’s vagina neck.

According to a person close to the White House, on Monday Trump told V.P. Pence, Bannon, Reince Priebus, Donald McGhan, and others that he wanted to move on Comey. He summoned Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who is a loyal lapdog who promised to recuse himself from all matters related to the Russia investigation, and Deputy A.G. Rod Rosenstein to the White House with the directive to explain in writing the case against Comey.

The letter Trump wrote informing Comey of his firing was delivered by his longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller (who reportedly, like Chris Christie, also sings “I Will Always Love You” to The Donald). Trump made sure to mention in the letter that Comey told him three times that he’s not under investigation into the Russia matter.

There are also reports that Trump has hired a new law firm, based in D.C., to defend him in questions about his business connections to Russia. I hear they’re really good with cases involving whiplash injuries.

The White House may deny these reports, which come from over 30 sources at the White House, Justice Department, FBI, and Capitol Hill. But they’re a hell of a lot more believable than the story of Trump caring about Hillary Clinton.

Conservatives have spent the past 48 hours pointing out the fact that Democrats didn’t like Comey and many wanted him fired. Every conservative political cartoonist has drawn the same cartoon with that argument. They fail to mention Trump’s hypocrisy of supporting Comey’s decisions to inform Congress and the public that he was reopening the investigation into Clinton and her email server. Funny how that works.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, White House Deputy Press Secretary, made the same argument conveniently forgetting that in the past she too went on cable news to praise Comey’s release of the letter. Keep in mind that Sean Spicer is her boss and her father is Mike Huckabee which would set anyone up for saying all sorts of bullshit.

Kellyanne Conway reappeared on the networks to make the same case and to nail her point home, reminded us that Trump won Michigan. What? That has to do with Russia like…oh never mind. Go do something else, Kellyanne, like talking to a microwave.

So, the Nixon comparisons are here. I really wish I could avoid them but it’s kinda hard to when the day after he fires Comey Trump invites Henry Kissinger to the White House. Who suggested that optic? Let me guess. Was it Kellyanne? Was it also her suggestion that Trump invite Russian ambassador and top spy Sergey Kislyak and Russia’s foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov (who made jokes about Comey’s firing Wednesday morning) to the Oval Office and only allow Russian media into the room?

Trump probably didn’t want the American press in there as there aren’t any “corners” to hide in.

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