Comey

Perjury Happens


cjones06122017

Other than playing poker with Donald Trump, I really wanna start farming. I’m going to start a popcorn farm. How do you grow popcorn? I don’t know much about farming. I know you need things like seeds, and dirt and probably a tractor, and you have to wear overalls and live in Iowa with a scarecrow to ward off ghost baseball players, and that’s about all I know about farming. I thought pineapples grew on trees until I moved to Hawaii.

The reason I want to start farming popcorn is that if Donald Trump testifies in a court or a deposition, and they televise that shit, people are going to be eating a lot of popcorn. I could be something Donald Trump isn’t, and that’s an actual billionaire.

Donald Trump and his team say James Comey is a liar. Well, there’s our first lie. The second one came from Sarah Huckabee-Sanders who said: “the president is not a liar.” You might want to be careful with the moment you’re trying to swallow the popcorn as there’s a very real danger of choking if you try to swallow while Trump or one of his sycophants is dropping a whopper. Eat with a friend who knows the Heimlich or is really good at tickling. Does tickling prevent choking? Don’t choke while around me. You will die.

Most of Trump’s problems are his own creation. He fired Comey and then boasted he did it because of the Russia investigation. He then trolled Comey by threatening that their conversations may have been taped, which led to Comey dropping his memos to the press, which led to a special counsel being appointed. It’s like Trump is taking a crap while walking backward.

On Friday, Trump said he’d be willing to testify under oath to give his version of his conversations with Comey. That had to make his lawyer drop a load. Trump is going to testify that he never asked Comey about dropping the Flynn investigation, or that he never asked for his loyalty? Oh goody.

Trump argued that he would never ask Comey for his loyalty because you don’t do that with a stranger. I suppose he knew every attendee on a first name basis at this Vermont rally, or perhaps at this rally in Orlando. Trump didn’t mention anything about the independence of the FBI director from the president, just that he wouldn’t ask loyalty from someone he barely knows. That must mean Trump requires a loyalty oath from everyone he associates with. And seriously, if you’re the type of person who pledges an oath to a guy who eats burnt steak with ketchup, then you’re going to remain hopeless and lost.

Trump would not reveal if he actually has tapes or not, but he did promise that he would let us know “over a short period of time.” He also said we’ll be very “disappointed” which may inadvertently be true because he’ll probably reveal it like he revealed his taxes, or proof that Obama wasn’t born here, or that press conference Melania was going to hold to prove her citizenship.

There are no tapes, and if there are then they don’t support Trump’s version of events or he’d have released them already. They would have come out at 3:00 a.m. without his staff or lawyers receiving an advance notice. “The president is not a liar and there are no tapes…what’s that you’re listening to…aw crap.”

At this point, it almost doesn’t matter if there’s any collusion between the Trump and the Russians, or even his campaign. That’s because a special counsel can indict on anything he finds connected to his investigation that’s illegal. If Trump testifies he’s committing perjury. If you build it, he will lie.

Trump is one of those people who can’t not lie. If Trump talks in his sleep, then every word of that would be a lie. It’s part of a condition when you speak without thinking or speak without knowing anything, but his real problem is that he’s insane. He’s also a narcissist so he believes anything he says has to be true, just because he’s infallible. If it’s not true before he said it then it’s true because he said it. Trump lies about stuff that’s not even important, like how many times he’s been on the cover of Time Magazine or that it wasn’t raining during his inauguration speech. Trump lies so much that he’s having a hard time finding a decent lawyer to represent him (the fact he often doesn’t pay them hurts too).

It doesn’t matter to Trump or the GOP that his approval rating is at 34% as long as his base believes his lies, and they do. They believe Obama was born in Kenya and he wiretapped the phones in Trump Tower. They believe Trump had the largest electoral victory since Reagan. They believe Trump had the largest inauguration crowd in American history. They believe Trump is more honest than Hillary Clinton. They believe the NFL sent him a letter objecting to him debating while a game was on. They believe he opposed the Iraq war. They believe he never mocked a New York Times reporter. But believing something doesn’t make it true. Trump sycophants’ beliefs don’t change the fact that Obama was born in Honolulu, or that more people (legally) voted against Donald Trump than for him.

Now Trump has bullshitted his lying ass into testifying, which is something no lawyer wants their client, especially a narcissistic lying client, to do. And if Trump testifies, it’s not going to be “if”, it’s going to be “when” he commits perjury. In a 2007 deposition, Trump was caught lying 30 times. If Trump testifies under oath before the special counsel, he will commit perjury. He is incapable of telling the truth.

Get the popcorn ready.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

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Comey Storms In


cjones06112017

A lot was revealed by former FBI Director James Comey’s testimony before Congress, but I’m going to focus on the Republican defense.

Several times during his testimony Comey said the president lied. The first defense from the White House and Trump’s private lawyer was “the president is not a liar.” They decided to label Comey as the liar, which works among Trump voters. CNN had a panel of nine Trump voters in Ohio and each one said they believed Trump over Comey. There’s no accounting for stupidity. But hey, keep working that 37% approval rating.

It’s not a huge revelation that Donald Trump lies. Before he started licking Trump’s boots, Ted Cruz described him as a pathological liar, and he should know, being that he is one himself. What is really bizarre is the White House defense that James Comey is a liar and his testimony validated Trump. How can you have it both ways? I thought Trump said Comey was a “nut job” but now we’re to believe him selectively?

One revelation from the hearings is that Comey released details of his memos to The New York Times through a friend. Comey said he decided to release the memo after Trump tweeted that “Comey better hope there are no tapes of their meetings in case he decides to start leaking.” That encouraged Comey to “leak” in hopes that it would create a need for a special counsel. It worked. Today there is a special counsel investigating the Trump/Russia connection. I seriously want to play poker with Donald Trump someday.

Trump’s lawyer said that The Times story was the day before Trump’s tweet. That in itself was a total lie. It’s not true. We can call that “fake news.” Trump might want to take the investigation seriously enough to hire a good lawyer and not the Lionel Hutz currently representing him. After the lawyer said that Trump NEVER asked Comey for his loyalty, he explained that there wouldn’t be anything wrong if Trump had asked for his loyalty. Seriously, Trump. Get a good lawyer.

Another defense and focus was why didn’t Comey tell Trump it was inappropriate to meet with him alone (shoo everyone else out of the room) and to press for him to drop the investigation into Michael Flynn. Why didn’t Comey say something when Trump invited him to dinner only to discover upon arrival that it would only be him and Trump. That’s like inviting a girl over to a party and there’s no one else there. Republicans don’t focus on the part where Trump was inappropriate and possibly obstructing justice. They want to know why the guy who towers nearly seven-feet tall didn’t body slam the president like he was a reporter asking uncomfortable questions in Montana. Republicans can’t expect Comey to call out the president for being inappropriate when they refuse to do that themselves.

Another sticking point for the GOP was the word “hope,” as in Trump telling Comey “I hope you can end the investigation.” They believe “hope” is like in Star Wars “A New Hope” in that you “hope” the farm boy can defeat the empire and not “hope” like your boss telling you he “hopes” you meet a deadline.

My favorite defense came from Speaker of the House Paul Ryan whose argument is that Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing. Seriously. Paul Ryan just made the argument that every Democrat made before November and 62 million Americans ignored. Donald Trump is not qualified to be president and doesn’t know what he’s doing. Not knowing what you’re doing is not a defense for breaking the law.

Since Trump’s tweeting has already made things for him go from bad to worse, the White House kept him busy with shiny objects during the hearing so he wouldn’t implicate himself any further. He’s tweeted himself into being investigated by a special counsel. He’s admitted he fired Comey to take the pressure off from investigations. He told Comey that he never had hookers….in Russia, and that was because he assumed they recorded everything over there.

When Trump would bring up the hookers story to Comey he never used the defense that he was married and loyal. He also never expressed concern with Russia’s tampering in our election and Democratic process, only with being investigated.

Trump found the location where his staff hid his phone (next time put it in a book or a salad), and tweeted this morning. Trump tweeted “Despite so many false statements and lies, total and complete vindication…and WOW, Comey is a leaker!” Is he stating he has complete vindication despite his false statements and lies?

Perhaps the biggest thing about this is that Republicans continue to overlook the most substantial fact: Donald Trump fired the man heading an investigation into his presidential campaign.

But then again, Donald Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Getting The Memo


cjones05212017

Yesterday I was looking forward to covering a subject other than Donald Trump. I had the topic picked. I came up with an idea I liked. All was going to be swell. Then 5:00 PM came around and like the day before, it brought a new scandal. A really big one. Mondays was really big but Tuesdays may have topped it.

U.S. Senator Susan Collins from Maine asked on Monday “Can we have a crisis-free day?” I’m feeling ya’ Senator, but no. No we can’t. Ed Rogers wrote for The Washington Post that with Trump leaving the country for eight days that will lessen the odds of a daily crisis. I don’t share their optimism. Trump is visiting Arab heads of state, going straight to Israel, and then heading to the Vatican. The potential for him pulling stupid out of the hat runs very high. That 300-lb. fat guy is going to walk the tight rope between Jews and Palestinians in Jerusalem. I have faith something’s going “splat!”

If you work in an office then at some point you’ve been asked if you’ve seen a memo. If not, just watch Office Space. Even if you had seen the memo but you blew something off, you may fall back on the excuse and lie and say you haven’t gotten that memo yet. Right now Republicans and anyone else who supports Donald Trump needs to get the memo.

This memo doesn’t contain any new news. It informs you that Donald Trump lies. Donald Trump is a narcissist. He’s an idiot. He’s corrupt. He’s unqualified for the presidency and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Donald Trump will throw you under the bus and destroy your reputation, even if it’s just to save him a few hours on cable news. If you continue to support Trump, your credibility will be shot and you’ll only be as reliable as Kellyanne Conway. You better get used to people rolling their eyes at you.

Now Republicans have to make a choice. Do they continue to support Donald Trump out of fear from his supporters, or do they get a spine and put country over party? You know? Do their jobs.

On Tuesday afternoon The New York Times reported that James Comey wrote a memo after one of his meetings with Trump. In this memo the former FBI director claims that Trump asked him to kill the agency’s investigation into Michael Flynn. Presidents aren’t supposed to do that. Even Donald Trump.

This came a day after The Washington Post reported that Trump revealed classified information to the Russians. The Times and Post have been very competitive with their investigative journalism since Trump came into office. These two newspapers are doing the strongest journalism in the nation at this time and it’s paying off as both their circulations are increasing. I have a digital subscription to both and I’m proud to support real journalism. Your crazy uncle refers to it as “fake news.” The fact that I have subscriptions and they’re the go-to sources for information is why you see links to them so often here.

The Comey memo is bad news for Trump and it might be the strongest hit to his administration yet. He didn’t even send a flunky out to ruin their reputation by debunking it. They only sent a statement and by this point, a White House denial has about as much currency as Confederate money.

Trump was warned about Michael Flynn by acting-Attorney General Sally Yates. Trump fired Yates. Eighteen days after being warned, he fires Flynn. The day after he fires Flynn he has Comey in the Oval Office.

During the meeting Trump told everyone else in the office to leave the room, including Vice President Mike Pence and Attorney General Jeff Sessions. He asked Comey for his loyalty, as though he’s a tin-pot dictator and the United States isn’t a democracy. He then complained to Comey about leaks, which have been coming from the White House, and asked about jailing reporters who publish leaked information. So much for that Constitution thing. He then said to Comey “I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go. He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go.” Trump wanted Comey to drop the FBI’s investigation and let it go.

Comey did not let it go. He ramped up the investigation by asking for more funds. The day after that he was fired by Trump. His spokespeople said the investigation did not weigh into the decision to fire Comey. Trump threw them under the bus a day later by telling Lester Holt that the investigation was on his mind when he fired Comey.

This is bad for Trump. Even Jason Chaffetz, the Republican who loves Benghazi hearings, wants to see the memo. Chaffetz chairs the House Oversight Committee. There will be subpoenas.

Even a few Republicans are talking impeachment. It may be too soon for that as there’s very fine parsing over defining obstruction of justice. But this trail leads to Trump firing people, stating he wanted the investigation to end, and then asking Comey to drop it, and then firing Comey.  This trail may wind all the way to a trial in the United States Senate.

Trump has to hope for two things. That Republicans will continue to live in fear of him and that people believe his word over Comey’s. Ha!

There’s been a lot of criticism of James Comey but none of that has been about his honesty. Trump’s honesty is not questioned. He would have to have some first. Trump is a pathological liar. In Trump’s first 100 days he told 492 false or misleading claims. In other words, lies. He employs people to lie. Trump is less honest than a professional baseball player on steroids.

Trump lies. He’s dishonest. He’s corrupt. He’s a buffoonish-man-baby. His mouth is taking him down and everyone who continues to support him and their reputations along with it.

Did you not get that memo?

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Tricky Woulda Thunk It


cjones05162017

D’oh! The White House was shocked, dismayed, surprised, bewildered, caught off guard, gobsmacked at the backlash they received for firing FBI Director James Comey. They thought everyone would like Trump firing the man leading an investigation into his campaign coordinating with the Russians. Hey, at least the Russians like the firing.

Of course these are the same people who thought it would be a good idea to send Education Secretary Betsy Devos, who recently said the founders of historically black colleges were real pioneers of school choice, to a historically black college. What’s next? Sending Steve Bannon to speak at a synagogue?

A colleague of mine made a statement that there are a lot of Nixon cartoons being drawn over the Comey firing issue. He’s right and there’s all sorts of comparisons being made in the press to Nixon’s firing of Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox in 1974 to what’s famously phrased as the “Saturday Night Massacre.”

My third cartoon of 2017 was comparing Trump to Nixon and I believe I’ve successfully refrained since then until today from drawing him again. Using Nixon is an easy go-to metaphor just like using Hitler, Nazis, and Klansmen for racist-like behavior. But it’s really hard not to compare the Trump administration to Nazis when he’s retweeting, associating, and filling his cabinet with Nazis. It’s also hard not to when the KKK throws a parade in Trump’s honor, but I digress.

Every president since Nixon has been compared to Nixon at some point during their administrations. Trump is drawing the comparisons to the point that the Nixon Library doesn’t want their guy compared to Trump. Who can blame them? Nixon was an evil, deceitful, corrupt piece of crap, but comparing him to Trump is a bit too much for the Nixon Milhous Fanclub. At the very least Nixon didn’t express more loyalty to a hostile nation than to the United States or grab anyone’s vagina.

Trump may wish to be compared more to Old Hickory Andrew Jackson than to Nixon, but right now Old Dickory is closer to being compared to Tito Jackson than Andrew.

Trump’s reasoning for firing Comey is not believable. There are reports that he was looking for a reason to can the FBI director and the Deputy Attorney General gave him one in that Comey was to mean to Hillary Clinton. Donald Trump caring about Clinton’s well-being is about as believable as him caring about Rosie O’Donnell’s feelings, or Steve Bannon going kosher.

There is another report that Comey asked for more resources, from the man who eventually recommended his firing, to investigate the Russia case. He also reportedly told associates that Trump was “crazy” for claiming Obama wiretapped him and that he was “outside the realm of normal.” Why didn’t Comey make a move on Melania while he was at it? Or even worse, question Trump’s ratings and crowd sizes?

The Washington Post is reporting Trump was becoming frustrated that Comey wasn’t loyal to him and wasn’t doing enough to look into leaks of his administration’s connections to Putin. At the very least Comey should have been as loyal to Trump as Trump is to Putin, right? Why couldn’t Comey just shut up and eat the meatloaf?

Another detail that was chapping the prez’s spray-tanned hide was Comey not backing up Trump’s claim that Obama had him wiretapped. What really made him nauseous was Comey stating that the thought of his decisions affecting the election’s outcome made him nauseous. Trust me. We’re all nauseous. And I’m not talking about the kind of nauseous after being made aware of Trump’s vagina neck.

According to a person close to the White House, on Monday Trump told V.P. Pence, Bannon, Reince Priebus, Donald McGhan, and others that he wanted to move on Comey. He summoned Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who is a loyal lapdog who promised to recuse himself from all matters related to the Russia investigation, and Deputy A.G. Rod Rosenstein to the White House with the directive to explain in writing the case against Comey.

The letter Trump wrote informing Comey of his firing was delivered by his longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller (who reportedly, like Chris Christie, also sings “I Will Always Love You” to The Donald). Trump made sure to mention in the letter that Comey told him three times that he’s not under investigation into the Russia matter.

There are also reports that Trump has hired a new law firm, based in D.C., to defend him in questions about his business connections to Russia. I hear they’re really good with cases involving whiplash injuries.

The White House may deny these reports, which come from over 30 sources at the White House, Justice Department, FBI, and Capitol Hill. But they’re a hell of a lot more believable than the story of Trump caring about Hillary Clinton.

Conservatives have spent the past 48 hours pointing out the fact that Democrats didn’t like Comey and many wanted him fired. Every conservative political cartoonist has drawn the same cartoon with that argument. They fail to mention Trump’s hypocrisy of supporting Comey’s decisions to inform Congress and the public that he was reopening the investigation into Clinton and her email server. Funny how that works.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, White House Deputy Press Secretary, made the same argument conveniently forgetting that in the past she too went on cable news to praise Comey’s release of the letter. Keep in mind that Sean Spicer is her boss and her father is Mike Huckabee which would set anyone up for saying all sorts of bullshit.

Kellyanne Conway reappeared on the networks to make the same case and to nail her point home, reminded us that Trump won Michigan. What? That has to do with Russia like…oh never mind. Go do something else, Kellyanne, like talking to a microwave.

So, the Nixon comparisons are here. I really wish I could avoid them but it’s kinda hard to when the day after he fires Comey Trump invites Henry Kissinger to the White House. Who suggested that optic? Let me guess. Was it Kellyanne? Was it also her suggestion that Trump invite Russian ambassador and top spy Sergey Kislyak and Russia’s foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov (who made jokes about Comey’s firing Wednesday morning) to the Oval Office and only allow Russian media into the room?

Trump probably didn’t want the American press in there as there aren’t any “corners” to hide in.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Firing Comey


cjones05152017

How bad has it become that the Nixon Library doesn’t want their guy compared to Donald Trump?

The library tweeted out that Nixon never fired a director of the FBI and used the hashtag “Not Nixonian.” Usually presidents are avoiding being compared to Nixon and Watergate, not the other way around.

The official reasoning for Director James Comey’s firing is that it’s based upon the recommendation of Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. Rosenstein faulted Comey’s handling of Hillary Clinton’s emails when he sent letters to Congress last July, and again last October eleven days before the election.

While Rosenstein’s concern may be completely sincere, Trump is not. Trump celebrated Comey’s release of details of the Clinton investigation. He shouted it from the rooftops during his campaign and said “He brought back his reputation,” and “It took a lot of guts.” His only fault with Comey was that he wasn’t bringing charges against Clinton. So don’t tell me that Trump cares about due process in regards to Hillary Clinton. If you believe that then I will sell you a hamburger my dog made with his butt.

Democrats were no fan of James Comey. Many thought he should have been fired during the Obama administration. Not for investigations, but for his handling of the Clinton information. Firing a man who is investigating your campaign doesn’t pass the smell test.

When acting Attorney General Sally Yates warned Trump about National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, it took Trump 18 days to fire him. He only fired Flynn when the Post got wind of it, and continues to defend the guy and express resentment he was made to fire him. Instead of firing Flynn immediately, he fired Yates. Later he fired U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara whose jurisdiction covered Trump Tower and was reportedly looking into foreign banks with ties to Trump and stock deals made by Trump’s Health and Human Services Secretary, Tom Price. Now he has fired the man who heads the department investigating his campaign’s collusion with the Russian government.

The timing is suspicious. He fired Comey the day after his administration was embarrassed by Yates’s Senate Hearing. He fired Comey while he was on the west coast which makes you wonder who has access to his files. Tomorrow, Trump is meeting with Russia’s foreign minister. I’m sure they’re interested in how their investment is doing. Trump even mentioned the investigation in his letter notifying Comey of his firing. I’m sure tomorrow it’ll be the header photo on his Twitter page. Nothing suspicious here, folks. Move along.

Trump said he lost confidence in Comey. How are we supposed to have confidence in Trump, or who he chooses to replace Comey? Does anyone, other than Trump suck-ups, trust that the new director will be fully independent and do what’s in the nation’s best interest, not Trump’s? This man once thought Michael Flynn should be his National Security Adviser. With that “terrific” judgement, who will he think would be a great head of the FBI? Giuliani?

Comey was not fired because of his handling of the Clinton investigation. He was fired for investigating Trump. The New York Times Editorial Board writes “Mr. Comey was fired because he was leading an active investigation that could bring down a president.”

We are all living in Watergate. It’s time for a Special Counsel to investigate the Trump team because the cover-up has begun. This should be non-partisan and Republicans should stop being sycophants and lapdogs and join with Democrats and do what’s best for the nation, not the party or cult of personality.

Anyone who defends Trump’s handling of this is not a patriot. The Resistance should not be just a liberal or Democratic Party movement. It should be a movement to save our Democracy. We can disagree on basically everything in the world but we should all align against corruption.

I’m waiting to see which Republicans will step up to be on the correct side of history.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

The Perpetrator


cjones01142017

If don’t believe misinformation, lies, and fake news contributed to Hillary Clinton losing the presidential election, go talk to a Trump voter. The fact the public viewed Trump as more honest than Hillary Clinton is proof the disinformation campaign was effective.

I don’t believe there was one contributing factor that handed the presidency of the United States of America to a narcissistic, racist, immature, charity-robbing, scam-university miser, illiterate, vagina-groping, politician-bribing, Putin-loving, fascist reality show host with a bad comb-over and an oddly-orange spray tan. Political analysts and historians (with future historians believing the electorate consisted of a lot of crack heads) will forever debate the 2016 election, but it was thrown by the combination of Russian hacking, Wikileaks, fake news, paid trolls, and finally James Comey, the director of the FBI.

During the election Comey issued a statement on Hillary Clinton saying she wouldn’t be charged for using a private server for her State department emails, but that she was a horrible, sneaky, manipulative person, which is a bad thing if you are a female. Days before the election he issued a letter saying the bureau was taking another look because there were emails from her on the family computer used by Anthony Weiner and Clinton aide Huma Abedin. A few days later after the damage was done he returned to tell us “never mind. False alarm.”

Last week during a Congressional hearing Comey while asked whether the agency was investigating links between the Trump campaign and Russia Comey said “we don’t comment on pending investigations.” He should have said “we don’t comment on investigations involving Republicans.”

Trump went on to win the election because storing emails on a private server is a much worse offense than infidelity, multiple bankruptcies, selling tacky ties made in China, stealing from a charity to buy portraits of yourself, watching teenage girls disrobe, assaulting women, not paying taxes for over two decades, jilting private contractors, bribing politicians, insulting veterans and Gold Star families, conspiring with Russians, or publicly lusting after your daughter. But grrrrrr, that server. I’m so angry about that server yet nobody can actually tell you anything about it. Oh and Benghazi. You don’t have to know anything about Benghazi. You just have to say “Benghazi.” It’s like saying “Beetlejuice” three times.” Just say “Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi” and tinfoil stock goes up three points.

Now the Justice department is investigating the FBI’s actions in the Clinton investigation.

No matter how professional Comey explains himself while wearing a poker face many have the impression that he tampered with the election. That’s totally understandable because he tampered with the election. Comey came to your house party and he peed in your punch bowl. Thing is, most of your guest saw him do it and they still drank the punch. It was tangy.

James Comey dived into the election and did everything he could to destroy Hillary Clinton’s pursuit of the presidency. If you can believe the Benghazi lies, or any Republican lies (invading Texas, birtherism, pizza parlor child-sex-slaves, etc), you can believe Comey and Putin manipulated the election. It wasn’t the Chinese or New Jersey fat guys.

The State department’s probe into Comey is a start, but the acting Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, needs to appoint a Special Counsel to investigate him while also looking into the relationship of Trump and Russia. This needs to be done before Trump’s elfish, racist maniac Jeff Sessions takes over at the Justice department.

As you can see from this cartoon, Comey’s not any better at caricatures than I am.

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Mall Rats


cjones11082016

First person to leave a comment about a little girl getting a big wiener is banned for life.

I had two ideas on Jim Comey. One was on his hit on Clinton’s campaign but then I thought that aspect wouldn’t be important after Tuesday. His negligence and fumbling will remain an issue so I went in that direction. I don’t think it matters who becomes president. Jim Comey’s career at the FBI doesn’t have a bright future. He’s managed to anger both presidential campaigns.

I had to do a lot of Googling for images while drawing this cartoon. I haven’t been inside a mall in years. I think the last time I went was when my album came out and I couldn’t talk my drummer out of buying ridiculous $200 Ray-Bans. He did get a lot of compliments that day for his Mohawk.

I have never liked mall food court food. Fast food is normally bad but food court fast food is the suck. Panda Express is an insult to China, Sbarro is an offense to Italy, and Orange Julius is an insult to Donald Trump.

Reminder: I am live blogging the election tomorrow night. If you follow me on social media you know I’m prone to making a lot of snarky posts. Tomorrow expect me to spend the entire night drawing those. We’ll start around 7:00-ish  and go until whenever. Just refresh the page all night.

You know you want to want to do it. Between me and Wolf Blitzer who would you rather spend the night with?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!