Comey

Mall Rats


cjones11082016

First person to leave a comment about a little girl getting a big wiener is banned for life.

I had two ideas on Jim Comey. One was on his hit on Clinton’s campaign but then I thought that aspect wouldn’t be important after Tuesday. His negligence and fumbling will remain an issue so I went in that direction. I don’t think it matters who becomes president. Jim Comey’s career at the FBI doesn’t have a bright future. He’s managed to anger both presidential campaigns.

I had to do a lot of Googling for images while drawing this cartoon. I haven’t been inside a mall in years. I think the last time I went was when my album came out and I couldn’t talk my drummer out of buying ridiculous $200 Ray-Bans. He did get a lot of compliments that day for his Mohawk.

I have never liked mall food court food. Fast food is normally bad but food court fast food is the suck. Panda Express is an insult to China, Sbarro is an offense to Italy, and Orange Julius is an insult to Donald Trump.

Reminder: I am live blogging the election tomorrow night. If you follow me on social media you know I’m prone to making a lot of snarky posts. Tomorrow expect me to spend the entire night drawing those. We’ll start around 7:00-ish  and go until whenever. Just refresh the page all night.

You know you want to want to do it. Between me and Wolf Blitzer who would you rather spend the night with?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

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Leaking To Rudy


cjones11062016

Sinister forces are attempting to manipulate this election in favor of Donald Trump and not enough people care. What’s worse is that too many people are falling for it.

While many people can’t vote for Hillary Clinton because they believe she exposed U.S. intelligence to our nation’s enemies, they’re perfectly fine with Russia supporting the Trump campaign.

While Trump and his cronies complain about a rigged system and election process, Republicans are still trying to prevent minorities from voting by limiting polling places, purging voter rolls, closing DMV’s in poorer communities where they can register to vote, and even posting fake ads on social media aimed at Democrats telling them they can vote by phone. They forget the poorly educated are Trump’s demographic.

On Thursday Eddie Munster’s lost twin Bret Baier reported on Fox News that an indictment was about to land on Clinton. By the time he apologized for his faulty reporting the Trump campaign was already off and running with the erroneous report.

Right when you think you’re still sane and the FBI aren’t going to become involved, the FBI becomes involved. Maybe they don’t want the remnants of the KGB having all the fun.

When FBI director Jim Comey sent a letter to Congress that they were looking into Clinton’s emails again because of content on Anthony Weiner’s computer many people accused the agency of trying to foil the Clinton campaign. Now it appears more complicated.

Sources are saying Comey was trying to beat a leak from within his own agency. Even though they don’t have any new information on Clinton’s emails the director felt he needed to save face. Apparently some within the FBI really don’t like Clinton and leaked the information to the Trump campaign. Comey knew it was coming. Who did they leak it to in the campaign? Mr. 9/11 himself Rudy Giuliani.

Two days before Comey sent his little tainted letter to Congress Giuliani went on Fox News, proving he can expose himself to sunlight, and with great creepy glee said the Trump campaign had “a surprise or two that you’re going to hear about in the next few days.” It took all of Rudy’s willpower not to cap the sentence off with a “bwahaha.”

Early Friday Rudy was on Fox And Friends and bragged that he knew the information was coming and said “Did I hear about it? Darn right I heard about it.” Later in the day he went on CNN, where it’s not as much of a Trump pep rally, and told Wolf Blitzer that the information was a complete surprise. Rudy hasn’t done that much twisting since that time he tried to explain to his wife why his mistress moved into Gracie Mansion.

If Clinton gave explanations like that, then retracted, there would be indictments. There’s a lot of talk about future Congressional investigations designed to harass Clinton after she’s elected president, and there will be. The investigations we really need are to look into the FBI’s attempt to meddle with an election.

And while they’re at it they need to look into Trump’s campaign coordinating with Russia.

Republicans love to chant “lock her up.” I’m really hoping for some great irony in the near future.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

This Cartoon Is Badinov


cjones11032016

The only thing surprising about a weiner disrupting Hillary Clinton’s campaign in the final week is that it doesn’t belong to Bill.

The FBI is NOT supposed to involve themselves in elections. That’s the CIA’s job to do in other nations. The bureau swears they’re not despite director, and Republican, Jim Comey issuing a letter within 11 days of the election stating they’re looking into newly discovered emails related to its investigation of Hillary Clinton. They didn’t have a warrant to actually look at the emails. They don’t know what’s in them. They weren’t sent from Clinton or on any device owned by her. But hey, everybody. We want you to know there could possibly, maybe, I don’t know, perhaps, possibly be something there. Maybe it’s details of her selling weapons to Iran like Reagan did. Maybe it’s just coupons for pantsuits.

They don’t want to become involved in this election or give any impression they’re trying to tilt it in one direction or another, so they’re not going to tell us anymore about the emails before election day. Nope. Don’t want to be involved.

So I’m sure it wasn’t any meddling when the FBI leaked information that they don’t see any cooperation between Donald Trump and Russia in this election. None at all despite Donald Trump publicly asking the Russians to leak Clinton’s emails, or that his former campaign director collected millions of dollars from Putin puppets in Ukraine, or the fact that Russia is hacking into the Clinton campaign and the Democratic Party’s computers. I’m sure the Russians just want to mess up our entire electoral process because look at all the emails they’ve released from the Trump campaign…no wait. They’re not doing that. I would not be surprised after this election that a bombshell comes out about Trump and Russia’s involvement. I just hope for Vladimir’s sake they got paid up front because right now there’s some pissed-off stiffed pollsters out there.

Again, they don’t want to be involved in this election but hey, look at these documents concerning Bill Clinton’s pardon of financier Marc Rich who fled the country after he was charged with tax evasion. Look at it now as there’s only a week left in this election.

The FBi released the documents Monday but just in case nobody noticed, they tweeted out a statement from one of their Twitter accounts they haven’t used in over a year. In a statement, the FBI said that any material requested three or more times under the Freedom of Information Act is automatically made available to the public online on a “first in, first out basis.” I’m not sure if there’s any legal requirements to announce it on Twitter.

You need three requests to the FBI? OK, I have three. How about shut up, and shut up, and oh yeah…shut the hell up.

Since the FBI is so busy will they reveal anything concerning Donald Trump’s housing segregation from the 1970s? How about something on Trump’s fraud lawsuit over his fake university which is going to trial after the election? Or better yet, how about some juicy tidbits from his upcoming trial where he’s accused of raping a 13-year-old girl? How about any information from the over 70 lawsuits Cheeto Oompa Loompa is facing? No? Can I make a request?

The IRS won’t even release anything on Trump’s taxes or even confirm he’s being audited like he claims. Does he pay taxes? Was it legal? Does he have financial ties to Russia? Does he give anything to charity? I’m a hell of a lot more concerned about who Trump is indebted to than I am with how many of Hillary’s emails had a “C” on them.

Trump keeps screaming that Hillary is crooked and these emails definitely prove she should be in prison, even though he has no idea what’s in them. Meanwhile we’re supposed to take his word that he’s a charitable guy (he’s not) or that there’s nothing fishy in his tax returns.  Since he can make statements about what’s in a document he hasn’t seen then can I state that Trump’s tax returns definitely contain details of his running a brothel out of Trump Tower for teenage hookers? How about they contain write-offs for bulk purchases of Viagra, ass cream, and teeny tiny condoms?

If you’re more concerned that Hillary Clinton sent emails than any of the vast array of Trump’s scandals then I only have one question for you:

Whatsamatta U?

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Hillary’s Weiner


cjones11012016

I wasn’t going to draw a cartoon tonight. I’m three days ahead with my cartoons to my clients. If you only view my cartoons at GoComics, who runs everything I do because I upload it myself, you’re a few days behind (you should subscribe to GoComics at only $2.00 a month, subscribe to me, and I’ll get a portion of that. Support your favorite cartoonist…and then support me too). I was gonna take the night off. I was going to eat some pork chops and watch my Cubs win game 3 of the World Series. Only one part of my plan happened. The Cubs did not win, I did not take the night off, and I did eat some pork chops.

My plans to be leisurely failed because the FBI decided to announce they were reopening the email case against Hillary Clinton. It’s a good thing I don’t go anywhere without my drawing stuff.

I’m mad. I’m angry about this. Not because of the unfairness toward Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party. I’m angry because this is political. Eleven days before an election and you want to pop up with this crap?

Let’s take a look at what we know. The FBI’s investigation into Hillary’s use of a private server is over her handling of classified information. This new stuff concerns Anthony Weiner, the mad sexter. Weiner is married to Clinton’s top aide, Huma Abedin. They are now estranged over Weiner’s last sexting scandal.

The FBI was investigating Weiner’s computer since he was accused of some nasty stuff with a 15-year-old. They found something on the computer which was also used by Huma.

What we know is that the emails were NOT on Clinton’s server. They were NOT sent by Clinton. They were NOT on Clinton’s computer. So how in the hell is this about Clinton’s handling of classified information? It’s not.

I’m going to make a bold statement and tell you that this isn’t going anywhere. Huma might be in trouble but I don’t see how this implicates Clinton with mishandling classified information.

I’m mad because we have Russians trying to tamper with our election. We don’t need the FBI to start twerking with the process.

Here’s another reason I don’t think there’s anything to this reopened investigation: Hillary Clinton wants to talk about it. She never wants to talk about her emails. She’s clamoring for the FBI to release everything they know. Hillary Clinton never wants that.

This is an October surprise and it’s a huge fail. Trump claims it’s as big as Watergate which means he didn’t even see the movie, less enough follow the investigation or study history. How can you say something is “bigger than Watergate” when you don’t know what’s in it? How can Republicans be so gleeful over the FBI director basically saying they need to see if the new emails are significant?

Trump is also angry that Hillary is critical of the FBI over this handling. Like Trump has only had nice things to say about the FBI before Friday.

I don’t expect most of my clients to run this cartoon, but that’s OK because I give them more than I promise. My internet-only publications will love it. I’m taking tomorrow off. You have enough cartoons from me. Let me sleep. I’m probably taking tomorrow off.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Hillary’s House Of Lies


cjones08032016

I wouldn’t say Hillary Clinton is a liar. But I would say she’s not entirely truthful. She, like her husband, has a penchant for using legalese to get around the truth. Remember the “definition of is” speech? People don’t like lawyers as it is.

When she gave an interview to Chris Wallace and claimed FBI director James Comey said her answers about her emails were “truthful,” I thought to myself, why would she say such a whopper of a lie? This doesn’t help her with the trust issue most Americans have with her, whether that’s valid or not.

But why shouldn’t she lie and get away with it? Donald Trump does it on a daily basis. Seriously, he lies daily. His recent lies include his claim the NFL sent him a letter upset over the debate schedule…which, of course, is a lie.

Hillary just needs to create a new distraction for each flub that’ll redirect the media and public’s attention to the newest scandal. In the midst of Trump’s scandal of his feud with parents whose children died in combat he decided to kick a baby out of one of his rallies. Maybe Hillary could kick a puppy.

What’s kind of a bigger issue about Hillary’s FBI lie is that Trump wasn’t able to capitalize on it. He’s always accusing her of being a liar so when she actually does it, it’s not new for him to claim she’s “crooked Hillary.” Also, Trump and his campaign wasted the week’s message on making excuses for Trump.

Hillary could have dodged the question and it wouldn’t have been news. Shady, like all politicians do, but it wouldn’t have made any waves. Just wait for Donald Trump to log into Twitter and there will be something new.

All Hillary has to do is not lie. She’s the better candidate. She’s qualified for the job and her opponent is a Cheeto. She’s coming off a great convention and has a nine-point-bounce. Trump is fighting parents who lost their children, veteran organizations, fire marshals and babies.

She’s got this. Stop lying.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!