Trump Russia

Indictment Palooza


cjones11022017

If you’re feeling squishy about yourself because you boldly predicted Mueller’s first indictment would be for Paul Manafort, give yourself an obvious cookie. What will you predict next? Sarah Huckabee Sanders will deflect with something stupid?

One person who deserves a cookie, or an entire box, is Robert Mueller. This man, despite being accused of leaking by Trump sycophants, keeps his cards close to his vest. Manafort was not a surprise. Rick Gates, OK that makes sense. George Papadopoulos? Who? I recall hearing about that guy months ago and how bizarre it was that his qualification to serve as one of Trump’s foreign policy advisers was that he played on the model U.N. when he was in school. But, if you had picked Papadopoulos then that would have been as brilliant as when I picked Adrian Peterson in fantasy football his rookie year. Though, with my fantasy football team, that involved more dumb luck than brilliance.

Donald Trump and his idiotic followers have been telling us for about a year that there has been no collusion with Russia. It’s all “fake news.” Every intelligence agency tells us there was collusion. Facebook and Twitter have told us Russia bought ads, thus collusion. Trump even begged for Russia’s help during the campaign. Yet, it’s all “fake news.” Now, it has come out that Donald Trump Jr. wasn’t the only goon seeking information on Hillary Clinton from the Russians. How much longer are the sycophants going to continue parroting the lies from the Trump administration?

Mueller indicted Paul Manafort on twelve counts, some being conspiracy against the United States. Trump has boasted that all the charges against Manafort and Gates were for crimes committed before they worked for Trump. Like it’s a great big accomplishment that his campaign manager conspired against America. It’s indicative of what kind of people Trump surrounds himself with. Next time he hires someone, he needs to conduct a background check that at least involves reading their Wikipedia page.

Just after Trump tweeted that he had no connection to the crimes and there was no collusion, word came out about Papadopoulos and how he was seeking collusion with Russia as a representative of the Trump campaign. Oops.

Papadopoulos pleads guilty to lying to the FBI and has made a deal with Mueller. He’s cooperating with the Special Counsel’s investigation and has been for months. Does this mean he may have had conversations with Trump people while wearing a wire. Oh, please say yes.

Trump’s defense is that he doesn’t remember Papadopoulos, despite claiming he has one of the best memories. He and his collection of stupid people have claimed that Papadopoulos was a low-level staffer, thus he didn’t have any real important job with the campaign. They made it sound like the guy only fetched coffee and made copies. In reality, he fetched covfefe.

A low-level staffer was apparently what his campaign was looking for to make connections with Russia. In one email from a top unnamed staffer, he was encouraged to travel to make a connection between Trump and Putin. One email read, “We need someone to communicate that DT is not doing these trips, It should be someone low level in the campaign so as not to send any signal.” If that is not collusion then I don’t know what is. It’s a lot heavier than the Uranium deflection or hiring someone to conduct opposition research on your opponent.

For a low-level guy, he got some good play from Trump. The then-candidate mentioned him as an adviser and how he was a good person. A photo has also surfaced of him sitting at the same table with Trump and Jeff Sessions at a policy meeting. He was not delivering coffee.

The White House says they believe Mueller is wrapping up his investigation. This just might be the end of the beginning. Mueller is just warming up his arm. There could be more charges on Manafort. Papadopoulos may not be the only one who’s been secretly working with Mueller. This will and probably has already, created an environment in the White House where no one trusts anyone. Who’s wearing a wire? Who’s working with Mueller? Who will send me to prison so they don’t have to go? What a great working environment. They go in thinking they’ll serve four to eight but in reality, most will be looking at ten to twenty.

What I’m looking at is how many people will be convicted of lying to the FBI, because everybody who works for Trump lies their ass off. I feel sorry for Huckabee Sander’s future jailhouse bitch. I’m going to feel sorry for Sean Spicer and Jared when they’re both the jailhouse bitches. When Trump testifies, and he will, he will commit perjury. The man can’t talk about anything without telling a lie. I bet that chocolate cake even tasted like crap.

Despite their argument that they’re focused on the nation’s business, the White House is panicking. There’s a report that Trump wants Ivanka and Jared out of the White House and return to the private sector. He should never have brought his kids into his corruption.

There are things to expect, like Michael Flynn’s upcoming indictment. There will also be surprises. Apparently, this Mueller guy is really good at what he’s doing. He’s not distracted by shiny objects.

Shit got real yesterday. It’s only going to get worse for the White House. There are reports that Trump was fuming at the indictments. Expect a full meltdown when Mueller goes after his taxes.

I’ll supply the popcorn…and the ink.

Creative notes: I tweeted out the line to this cartoon yesterday. As I started working on an idea this morning (after having several), I kept going back to my smart-ass comment on social media. I liked it better than the cartoon I had started. So, I debated myself and stared at the Surface Pro for an hour before deciding to erase everything and start over.

I hate tweeting out the idea before I use it, because that ruins the surprise for my readers on social media, at least for the ones who saw it. Also, a fellow cartoonist once admitted to me that he got one of his cartoon ideas from one of my tweets. Sheesh. You’re supposed to get your ideas from Trump’s tweets, not mine.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Russian Troll Farm


cjones09202017

Today, we’re going to start with the basics and have a lesson on trolls. No. Not the mythological trolls who live under bridges, though some of these trolls would probably live under a bridge if that bridge was also a Wi-Fi hotspot.

We’re going to talk about internet trolls. Now, if you do not post stuff on the internet, like political cartoons or ever engage in online debates, then…GOOD FOR YOU! That’s very healthy for your mind and it means you will never encounter trolls. But, if you are the sort (like me) who posts opinions online or engage in online debates, then you are stalked by the cretins.

There are several types of internet trolls. The first is the troll who disrupts a conversation. If you post an opinion like, “Obama kept all of his promises,” and someone comes along and says, “but he didn’t shut down Guantanamo like he promised,” that person is not a troll. Someone disagreeing with you does not make them a troll. Though at times when you disagree with a conservative, he will accuse you of being a troll if you throw logic at him that he can’t refute. That is a tactic of a troll (we’ll cover more of those tactics in a bit).

The troll who disrupts merely disrupts because he’s trying to destroy the conversation and divert it into another direction until all the conversation consists of are insults. For example, let’s say you post that Trump’s Muslim ban is bigotry and unconstitutional, as he promised to ban Muslims while he was campaigning. An internet troll will enter your discussion and tell you how Islam is a violent religion and you hate America. He might even say if you don’t like it here then you should move to Iran, which he couldn’t find on a map if his troll life depended on it.

Another tactic of the troll is the art of deflection. For instance, you might start a conversation about how Trump University is a sham. The troll will come in and say something like “Benghazi” or “lock her up.” That doesn’t make any sense, does it? No. But, if you counter the troll by pointing out that his argument doesn’t make any sense, then the troll has achieved his objective because you’re not talking about Trump University anymore. Eventually, along the way, he’s going to call you a “libtard,” “snowflake,” and perhaps tell you that you desire a “safe space.” Other favorite terms for trolls are, “Odummer,” “Obummer,” and “Killary.” I know, they’re not very creative. Trolls never are. They all use the same code words because they’re not very good at formulating thoughts on their own. Also, watch out for “thug,” as that’s their replacement for the N-word.

Other troll tactics are never quitting. You can stop replying to them, but they’ll keep it up. If you do reply, that is commonly referred as “feeding the trolls.” Other tactics are using memes with fake stuff in them, like “Obama banned the Pledge of Allegiance.” One of their most effective tactics is the use of fake quotes. This is where they take a picture of someone, usually a founding father like Thomas Jefferson, and just make up some shit that he supposedly said like, “everyone should have a gun…and shoot their brown neighbor. It’s the American thing to do.” Trolls love them some fake quotes. Half the time, they don’t even know they’re fake, and they don’t care. Facts schmacts!

Another type of troll is the one who actually creates the post and starts the conversation. For example, last week I saw one of my conservative troll-like colleagues start a discussion wailing about the injustice Stephen Colbert gave toward religion because in his monologue, he mocked the Catholic church’s stance on gluten. Yes. Someone actually complained about this. A professional cartoonist, at that. Most of the conversation that followed consisted almost entirely of his fellow trolls, who all joined the wailing about the blasphemy Colbert directed at their religion. Of course, none of these people except for the original troll saw the monologue as they were all watching Fox News. This is the type of stuff used to create a divisive climate and to spread propaganda.

Which, is what the professional trolls do. These are the trolls that put actual heavy lifting into their trolling. The propagandists who made the phony videos that claimed Planned Parenthood was selling dead baby body parts were trolling on a grand scale. They put a lot of money into that trolling. Even after the videos were debunked, even by several state governments run by Republicans, the amateur trolls still believe it. Trolls don’t need facts or logic for their beliefs. They believe stuff based on their desire to believe it, like Obama was born in Kenya, and he’s a secret Muslim who went on an apology tour for America.

Now, if you go out and vote for Donald Trump and your vote is based only on lies, the troll doesn’t care. He’s done his job. The propaganda worked and it was cheap. The other person who doesn’t care if your vote was based on lies is Donald Trump. Of course, Trump is a major troll. His favorite troll term is “fake news.”

This is where the most dangerous trolls come in (along with the ones who inspire nuts to go on a shooting frenzy). Russian trolls. The Russian trolls aren’t just trying to decide an election. They’re trying to screw up other nation’s political systems. So far, they’ve done a very good job. America is full of all types of crazy, stupid people and all they needed was a little push.

During the campaign, we knew the Russians were putting fake information on the internet. Stuff like Hillary Clinton running a child-sex-slave shop out of the basement of a D.C. pizza parlor. Never mind that it wasn’t true, or that the pizza shop targeted doesn’t even have a basement. The objective is to make you believe it. Michael Flynn’s son was tweeting out the story about “Pizzagate” while he was on the Trump Transition team, and another guy believed it so much that he took a gun to the pizza shop and started shooting. Kinda like the guy who shot up the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood office because those videos told him they were selling dead babies.

If you take this story and help spread it around, share it on the Facebook, retweet it on Twitter, then you are what is commonly referred to as a “useful idiot,” and of course you’re a troll. And, you’re not just any kind of troll. You’re troll cattle.

The Russians have troll farms. That’s where they create shit, breed troll cattle to feed the shit, and then have the cattle spread it. If you’ve ever spread bullshit on the internet, you’re a fucking troll cow and there’s a good chance you were working for the Russians…and for free. You’re a piece of shit.

As it turns out, nearly a year after the election it’s come to our attention that the Russians weren’t just dropping fake stories on the internet. They were paying for it. They paid Facebook over $100,000 for bullshit ads. And even worse, they were advertising rallies, where trolls could gather and get pissed off together.

With the way this information has slowly been revealed by Facebook, some are wondering if Putin has a pee tape of Mark Zuckerberg (someone else made up that joke, but I don’t know who so I can’t give him or her credit).

Most of these trolls don’t know they’re trolls. But, give yourself a test. If you believe in something just because you want to believe it, then you might be a troll. If you have shared something (like a meme) and didn’t research it to find out if it’s true, then you might be a troll. Google is free, people. It’s not hard to look shit up, and you’re on the internet anyway. Something sounding like it could be true to you does not make it true. There are 25 million people who believe Kim Jong Un is a god, but that doesn’t make him a god. There were 62 million Americans who thought Donald Trump would make a good president, and that shit ain’t coming true either. Ever. And, if you believe Trump won the popular vote and there were millions of people voting illegally for Clinton, you’re a goddamn troll.

The trolls are out there. Whether they know it or not, they could be working for Russians. Look for the traits. Look for the keywords, like “Benghazi,” “lock her up,” “libtard,”  “snowflake,” and “fake news.” Or, just look for the assholes.

Creative note: A couple weeks ago a colleague posted a question for other cartoonists, asking “what do you hate drawing the most?”. The number one answer was crowds. I don’t really mind crowds and I do it fairly often (as long as I don’t have to be in an actual crowd). The second most popular answer was…grass. I agree with that. Drawing grass sucks. Grass is in strands, it’s tiny, it’s green, and it can take all freaking day, or if you take the lazy route and do it very quickly, then it can look like crap. Fortunately for me, I’m aided by the fact that I don’t draw anything realistic. It’s because I’m sloppy. But, I will still spend seven stupid hours on a cartoon, with at least one hour of that drawing grass. I’d rather draw a crowd.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Swims With Fishes


cjones08152017 - Copy

In retaliation for the United States placing more sanctions on that nation, Russia expelled 755 U.S. diplomats. Trump, who has talked tough to Mitch McConnell, Jeff Sessions, Kim Jong Un, Kristen Stewart, Broadway plays, and almost everyone in the world with a Twitter account, thanked Putin.

Yeah. He thanked Vladimir for expelling U.S. diplomats. Hey, he disrupted their lives and our relations just got even worse, but thanks, buddy.

Trump said Putin did us a favor, because it cuts payroll. Uh, first thing is: Vladimir Putin doesn’t fire employees of the United States government. He doesn’t control our payroll, does he? I mean, can he call Trump and tell him what do…aw, crap. He’s already done that by telling him to meet the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval Office, back when Trump gave them classified info.

The White House says Trump was joking about the “thank you.” OK, that would be believable except that’s all Trump had to say about it. Trump goes after everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY. He’s crapping on people in his own party, in his own cabinet. And yet, he can’t say one negative comment about Vladimir Putin.

You would think that at some point Trump would at least try to give the impression that Putin wasn’t holding a pee tape of him with Russian hookers.

Creative notes: Short blog right now because I want this published quick, I’m hungry, and I will draw again early in the morning. Also, trying something new here with the teaser images for shares on Facebook. We’ll see how it works.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Teaser1

General Kelly, Meet Captain Chaos


cjones08022017

“Oh and you know the thing about chaos, it’s fair.” – The Joker, The Dark Knight, 2008

Not every individual in the Trump administration is regarded as an incompetent loon, like Rick Perry, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Kellyanne Conway, etc. Rex Tillerson, General James “Mad Dog” Mattis, and H.R. McMaster have entered with respect and dignity in Washington only to see it all erode under the presidency of Trump.

Tillerson has a smaller staff than Jared Kushner and the man has stood by Trump’s side when he cuddled up to Putin. Mattis has trouble explaining an administration’s policies on defense when that administration dictates those policies by tweets. H.R. McMaster has gone before the press assuring the nation that Trump didn’t spill secrets to Russians in the Oval Office, only to have Trump undercut him by confirming that he gave secrets to the Russians.

Now General John Kelly is leaving his position as Secretary of Homeland Security to replace Reince Priebus as Chief of Staff. The idea here is that the White House staff will now actually report to the Chief of Staff. What a novel concept.

Kelly’s first act on his very first day on the job was to cut out one of the many cancers in the White House and fire Anthony Scaramucci. The Mooch was shit-canned ten days after being hired for a job he had not technically even started yet.

Trump loved The Mooch’s bombastic style as it resembles Trump’s own art of fuckery and self-destruction. Trump even endorsed the chaos and infighting Moochy brought to the team and told the guy that he wouldn’t report to the Chief of Staff, and would be supervised only by Trump. With the hiring of Mooch, out went Sean Spicer and a few days later, Priebus.

According to anonymous sources within the White House, one of Kelly’s terms of taking the job was to get rid of Scaramucci. The general did not want to run an organization full of infighting and backstabbing. The White House says Trump, the “pussy grabber,” couldn’t condone the language The Mooch used in a New Yorker interview. It probably didn’t help The Mooch’s standing with Trump that he was getting more attention.

Within the last ten days, Scaramucci was hired, attacked colleagues publicly, his wife filed for divorce and then gave birth while Scaramucci was traveling with Trump. That was just a little too much Page Six for The Donald.

Now Kelly is controlling the White House staff and everyone will report to him instead of having direct access to the president….except Ivanka, Jared, probably Stephen Bannon, Stephen Miller, and Putin.

But how will Kelly control the chaos when the commander and chief of chaos is in the Oval Office? Will he uninstall the Twitter app from Trump’s phone, explain to Trump the Nuclear Triad, prevent him from endorsing police brutality, make him stop lying about crowd sizes and wiretaps, or get him to cease from obstructing justice? How will Kelly help Trump stop obsessing over Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton? What sort of shiny objects will he use to distract Trump from Robert Mueller? Can he prevent Trump from writing press releases for Don Jr. that lie about his meetings with Russians? How will Kelly reply when asked to substantiate typical Donald Trump bullshit? Will the general refuse to back up lies or will he become less prestigious than that cartoon general who sells car insurance?

General Kelly commanded troops in Iraq, which is less of a quagmire than Trump’s hair or the chaotic gunk he sprays on his face.

Now The Mooch is out and the general can conduct a White House of substance and rationality…until Kellyanne Conway takes over as Communications Director. Good luck, General!

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Hating Jeff’s Cookies


cjones07272017

A flaming bag of poo may be the perfect metaphor for the Trump administration.

Jeff Sessions wasn’t just one of the first elected officials to endorse Donald Trump for president, he was the first United States Senator to back Trump. Sessions looked at Trump and saw narcissism, ignorance, stupidity, sexism, and racism and said, “that’s what I want for a president.” It was probably the racism that got him.

Sessions introduced Trump at one of his earliest rallies, which was in Mobile, Alabama. He was in so deep with the Trump campaign that he was secretly meeting Russians for Trump. He later forgot to mention meeting these Russians during his confirmation hearings. Sessions was in so tight with Trump, that he committed perjury for him.

Trump was so appreciative of Sessions’ support, he awarded him with the job of Attorney General after his first two choices backed out (turns out Matlock is fictional). What a guy.

Since Trump is one of those “what have you done for me lately?” kinda guys, his love for Sessions has gone soft. Some would say it’s entirely limp. It’s flaccid. It’s dysfunctional. It’s not getting back up anytime soon.

Trump is really upset that Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation, and his deputy appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the president’s collusion with Russia.

Trump says if Sessions had told him before he was appointed AG that he would recuse himself, then Trump would not have appointed him. Unless Sessions and Trump plotted the Russia collusion together and one of them said “we might be investigated for this,” then how was Sessions to know there would be a need for an investigation?

Trump says Sessions should not have recused himself. Sessions should not have had to recuse himself because he shouldn’t be Attorney General. We also shouldn’t have a president neck-deep in Putin’s anus, but what ya’ gonna do?

Trump values loyalty. It’s something that he keeps bringing up. He puts great stock in people being loyal to him, but not in his own loyalty. He expects loyalty to be placed above the law. The law is what Sessions followed in recusing himself and that’s chapped Trump’s orange ass.

Trump sold out Sean Spicer and now he’s selling out Sessions. He’s conducted a tweet storm against the guy and questioning why he’s not using his position for political retribution to go after his opponent from the presidential campaign and the former FBI director.

If Trump fires Sessions, it won’t be just because he’s angry. It’ll be to thwart the Special Counsel’s investigation. Trump can’t fire Robert Mueller. He has to tell his appointees in the Justice Department to do that dirty work. The firing would have to be done by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein unless Trump fires him too. Trump’s already expressed concern that Rosenstein is from liberal Baltimore, even though he’s not.

This issue is another reason to pay close attention to what the Republicans are doing in the Senate with their health-care bill. They’re ramming several versions through for a vote. If they all fail, then the Senate will be able to say they tried, and then go on recess and hang out on the beach like Chris Christie. It’s during this recess that Trump could fire Sessions and make a recess appointment, which won’t need Senate confirmation. However, that appointment can only be made if the recess is to last longer than ten days and the Senate may fight it. While the Republicans love Trump, and they control the Senate calendar, they also love Sessions who was previously one of them.

Firing Sessions may be the final act to anger Republicans in Congress. Trump has already fired an FBI director to stop the investigation into Russia, and that action made it worse. Firing more people to end the investigation will only heighten the need to investigate, and perhaps remove Trump from office. We’re already on the highway to a Constitutional crisis.

I’m all for removing an Attorney General who doesn’t believe in justice for minorities or Civil Rights, but I’m not for obstruction of justice. Someone does need to be removed from office and that person is the president.

Trump, focusing on what’s “fair” to him and only him, says it’s unfair to the president that the Attorney General recused himself. What is unfair is that we have to live through the administration of an unqualified president who wants to rule, not govern, and places himself above the law.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Skeletons And Then Some


cjones07252017

Donald Trump says that if Special Counsel Robert Mueller looks into his or his family’s finances that aren’t related to Russia, then that’ll be going too far. He’s hinting that he may fire Mueller.

Our president is a man who doesn’t understand a lot of things. We can add investigations to that ever-expanding list. You can’t tell investigators not to look where you don’t want them to look. It doesn’t work that way. Trump is having a hard time casting an image of an innocent man. While declaring all the coverage of collusion with Russia as “fake news,” he’s talking about issuing a pardon for himself and firing Mueller. On top of all that, he’s putting together a smear campaign against everyone in the Special Counsel’s office. I’m half expecting him to write a book like O.J. did, titled “If I did it.” Though, like all of Trump’s other books, he’ll hire someone else to write it because Trump is barely literate.

Trump believes Hillary Clinton and James Comey committed crimes, even though there’s no evidence to hold that belief. He thinks President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. He’s created a commission to investigate non-existent voter fraud from the 2016 presidential election. In the past, he claimed Obama wasn’t born in his country and that he saw thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrating 9/11. I’m not sure his feeble mind is able to understand what about his finances are connected to Russia or not.

What is known is that Trump has millions in loans from Deutsche Bank, who continued to loan him money after he sued them. Deutsche Bank, who also has Ivanka and Jared as clients, has been accused of laundering money out of Eastern Europe. Trump sold a house in Florida that he bought for $41 million to a Russian oligarch who paid The Donald $95 million (five years later the property was valued at $60 million and the oligarch only visited once before having it demolished).

The conservative media and Trump sycophants keep telling us to stop talking about Russia, even though Trump himself can’t stop talking about it. Thankfully, the press, the FBI, the Special Counsel, and Congress disagrees with the sycophants and find treason to be a very serious matter.

And please, Mr. Mueller. Look in the bank accounts, the closet, under the bed, the car trunk, the piggy bank, under the floor, etc.

Creative Note: I’m really hoping there aren’t any law enforcement agencies tracking all my Google searches. I had to look up a lot of creepy stuff for this cartoon.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Lost In Translation


cjones07202017

Donald Trump and his sycophants complain constantly how the story about his campaign colluding with Russia is fake news. They cry how the media is obsessed with it and a lot of people agree, not just Trump freaks. Why won’t the media stop talking about Russia? Probably because Trump, his family, his campaign, and his appointees keep going to bed with Russians.

If you want us to stop talking about Russia then stop drip, drip, dripping details about your collusion with Russia.

There was a huge dinner at the G20 shared by the world leaders in attendance. Each member was allowed to bring their spouse and a translator so they could have a conversation with their counterpart they would be seated next to. Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe had the unfortunate designation to be seated next to Trump. Trump brought along a Japanese interpreter even though Abe speaks English (or maybe that’s what the translator was for). Fortunately for Abe, Trump left his seat in the middle of the meal.

It’s not uncommon for the leaders to move around and chit-chat with presidents, prime ministers, chancellors, and kings they weren’t seated with. There were eighteen leaders from other nations Trump could have picked to have an hour long conversation with after his meal. Did he pick Argentina, Italy, Brazil, Indonesia, or South Africa? Of course not. You know it wasn’t Mexico.

Quite naturally, it was Vladimir Putin. Vlad was seated a good distance away from Trump and across the table. That didn’t stop Donald from playing fanboy and reach out to suck up to Putin. The problem with this is, it’s Donald Trump and Russia. No members of Trump’s staff accompanied him for this conversation. He relied on Putin’s interpreter to translate. Another issue about this is, they kept it on the down low.

Do you think Trump would have negotiated a deal to put his name on a hotel by relying solely on the other party’s translator? He needs to take the business and security of our nation as seriously as he does about slapping his name on a sham university or some chewy steaks sold through The Sharper Image.

The White House only confirmed the meeting Tuesday after reports surfaced that other guests were surprised and icked out by it. Trump is doing a very poor job proving he’s not Putin’s puppet and that the Russia story is “fake news.”

Trump tweeted, “Fake News story of secret dinner with Putin is ‘sick.’ All G 20 leaders, and spouses, were invited by the Chancellor of Germany. Press knew!” and “The Fake News is becoming more and more dishonest! Even a dinner arranged for top 20 leaders in Germany is made to look sinister!”

The dinner was not a secret and was reported. His hour-long conversation with Putin was not a well-known subject. Trump didn’t bring it up with his conversation with reporters on the flight home.

Trump met with Putin for two hours earlier that day. He had been briefed before that meeting and brought along Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to minimize Trump’s fuckery as much as possible. He was not prepped with flash cards before his later bromance with Vlad, neither was he accompanied by someone from the United States who, well, knows stuff.

At their earlier meeting, Trump asked Putin twice about meddling in the U.S. election. He didn’t tell him we knew he did it. He asked. They then agreed to disagree, move on, and not bring it up again. So what did they discuss at the dinner? We will never know if it was small talk and pleasantries or if Trump gave him the keys to NORAD.

Trump used this opportunity to show that he prefers a closer relationship with Russia than with our allies. If it was the Kremlin’s goal to get Putin, an experienced negotiator and manipulator, alone with Donald Trump, mission accomplished.

On Tuesday, Trump announced the appointment of Jon Huntsman as ambassador to Russia (though, naturally they misspelled his name during the announcement). Huntsman was formerly ambassador to China and a few years ago Trump accused him of giving our nation away to Beijing. Maybe that’s the idea with this appointment to Moscow.

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