Trump Russia

RAMa Lama Ding Dongs

cjones01272019

The Saints got robbed.

With 1:45 left in the fourth quarter, and the Saints on the Rams’ 13-yard line, tied 20-20, facing third-and-10 in the NFC Championship, the Saints got robbed. If the Saints had gotten a first down on the play, they could have drained the time left on the clock, kick a chip-shot field goal, and leave the Rams with very little time to march down the field and tie the game. What happened was the Saints got robbed.

A Rams player, Nickell Robey-Coleman committed pass interference on the Saints’ Tommylee Lewis. The referees didn’t see it, despite one of them staring right at it. The entire universe agrees there was a blown call. Even the Rams defensive back, Lewis, admitted he committed pass interference. Lewis said that he “whacked his ass” to save a touchdown. It worked.

Now, in what may have been Drew Brees’ last chance to go to the Super Bowl, has been stolen. The Saints had the best regular-season record in the NFL this season, but they’ll be watching the Super Bowl from home.

A Louisiana eye doctor (in case you’re a Republican, New Orleans is in Louisiana) is offering free eye exams to NFL referees. Maybe he should also offer those to Trump supporters.

Trump supporters believe Donald Trump is doing a great job, he’s intelligent, has their best interest as his top priority, and that he’s a classy guy. Most of all, they don’t believe there has been any collusion between his campaign and Russia to win the 2016 presidential election. They don’t believe Putin is whacking anyone’s ass.

Never mind that meeting in Trump Tower with Russians, or at least 16 members of Trump’s campaign had contacts with Russians (and the number keeps rising), or Trump publicly asked them to hack Hillary Clinton’s campaign, or his campaign chairman was giving internal campaign polling data to friends of the Kremlin, the Trumpanzees will tell you they don’t see any evidence.

They don’t see that Trump has never criticized Vladimir Putin, yet he’ll go after Justin Trudeau over cheese prices. They don’t see that Trump wants to remove sanctions against Russia. They didn’t see Trump kissing Putin’s ass in Helsinki (if you’re a Republican, that’s in Finland). They didn’t see Trump taking Putin’s word over his intelligence agencies. They don’t see Trump handing Syria to Putin. They don’t see Trump threatening to pull out of NATO, which is Putin’s greatest wet dream. They don’t see that the FBI was investigating Trump as a threat to our national security and that he may be a Russian asset.

I’m a Saints fan, but I’m a bigger fan of my country. It makes me sad the Saints won’t be in the Super Bowl, but it’s probably not a threat to national security, even with the New England Patriots in the game…again (which was another game full of iffy calls). But, having Trump steal an election with the help of Vladimir Putin is dangerous to our democracy and national security.

Trump sycophants are like Patriot fans. They don’t see Trump’s deflated balls. But, while the refs may need eye exams, Trump supporters need their eyes and brains examined.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Strzok Gets Struck

cjones08192018

Peter Strzok was an FBI agent with 22 years experience who had investigated Russian spies, defense officials accused of selling secrets to China and other assorted cases of extreme importance. He was also the agent in charge of investigating Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server while she was Secretary of State and the Russia case.

During his investigation of Clinton’s server, Strzok exchanged texts with FBI lawyer Lisa Page, with who he was having an affair. The texts were discovered while he was the lead investigator for Special Counsel Robert Mueller, who swiftly removed him from the investigation of Russiagate.

The director of the FBI office that usually handles employee discipline had decided that Strzok should be demoted for having a rational viewpoint and suspended for 60 days. The Deputy Director of the FBI ignored that advice and decided to fire Strzok on Monday.

The text Republicans keep clinging to is one where Strzok was replying to Page’s concern about Trump being elected. Strzok texted, “we’ll stop him.” Republicans claim this is proof of conspiracy within the agency to destroy Trump and not a comment from a regular citizen referencing the voters of America. The Trump campaign was under investigation by the FBI for colluding with Russia before the election, but Strzok never leaked or made the investigation public knowledge, though the FBI held press conferences and leaked information about investigating Hillary Clinton. Oddly enough, those leaks went straight to Rudy Giuliani who is now campaigning to end the Russia investigation because of FBI bias.

Trump and his sycophants are using Strzok’s text as proof that Mueller’s Russia investigation is a hoax and should be shut down, the dossier is fake, Hillary Clinton should be re-investigated and thrown into prison, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein should be fired, everyone should vote Republican, Donald Trump isn’t a racist, and he only weighs 239 pounds.

What this really proves is that each day of the Trump administration brings us one step closer to an authoritarian government. People have literally been fired for expressing a negative viewpoint about Donald Trump (and this one’s not a political cartoonist in Pittsburgh).

When assigning agents to investigate politicians, is it now mandatory that they not have any political opinions about anything? Or, are they allowed to have them just so long as they favor Trump? The problem with this is how does anyone who familiarizes himself with a subject not have an opinion about that person? Are cops required to have neutral feelings about the people they’re in a shoot-out with? When they encounter pedophiles, do they not have any negative views about them until they’re convicted?

If this is the new standard in today’s chaotic new normal, we’re going to encounter problems finding people competent enough to do their jobs. Any professional who is educated, intelligent, rational, with half a brain, and not in a coma is going to have a negative viewpoint of Donald Trump. Have you seen and heard Donald Trump? Currently, only about 39% of Americans have a favorable view of Donald Trump, and they’re all Nazis. OK, maybe they’re not all Nazis, but they’re OK with a guy who is OK with Nazis. Do we really want Nazi sympathizers in charge of investigations? We can’t have everything run like Congressional committees.

Perhaps the most bizarre thing about this (other than there is a sex scandal connected to Trump where you don’t have to get a mental image of Trump boinking playmates, raw dogging porn stars, being spanked with a Forbes magazine with his daughter on the cover, or engaging in a pee-pee contest with Russian hookers) is that between Trump and Strzok, one has testified in front of Congress and the other refused to answer questions to Robert Mueller.

The most hypocritical aspect is that Strzok was fired for texting a viewpoint while Trump has been tweeting that Strzok should be fired, thus muddying up the entire review process at the FBI with his idiotic viewpoints. If that’s not meddling in an investigation or with the Justice Department, then I don’t know what is.

We can’t conduct a bloodletting in government agencies of those who harbor negative views of Trump. We need competent people serving our nation. If we only hire people who respect Trump, then we’re going to have a government staffed with the likes of Michael Cohens and Omarosas.

This is truly ironic because it might be Michael Cohen and Omarosa who bring down the Trump administration.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Wonderful Son

cjones08112018

The Donald Trump presidential campaign did not have any contacts with anyone from the Russian government. OK, they did but it wasn’t anything significant. Except, it was in Trump Tower which was the campaign headquarters for the Trump campaign. Oh, and the meeting was attended by Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, and then-campaign manager Paul Manafort. But, it was a total waste of everyone’s time as it was about Russian adoptions. Though, the Russian was promising dirt on Hillary Clinton and Jr. replied in an email before the meeting “I love it.” But, here’s a statement that definitely wasn’t written by the president that the meeting was only about adoptions. OK, the statement was written by the president, but he didn’t know anything about the meeting and it was still only about adoptions. OK, it wasn’t about adoptions and was totally to gain dirt on Clinton, which they didn’t get. Now, it wasn’t illegal and everybody does it.

Did I miss anything? Probably. At this point, even Nixon would be confused with the explanations.

Donald Trump is reportedly very concerned that his “wonderful” son, Donald Trump Jr., may be in legal peril over that Russian meeting in Trump Tower. He should be concerned. Jr. most likely broke the law, he can’t keep his mouth shut, neither can his old man, and they’re both idiots. They should be very concerned.

They argue that collusion isn’t a crime. That depends on a lot of factors. What is a crime is engaging in a conspiracy with a foreign power to benefit your American election. Even if it’s not illegal, it’s treasonous. You don’t even have to get anything out of it to break the law. You just have to try. It’s like arguing that you failed to kill someone, so it’s only attempted murder. No big deal. Everyone does it.

You wonder how concerned Trump is for his son since his latest tweet about the meeting suggests his son committed perjury before Congress.

Trump tweeted, “Fake News reporting, a complete fabrication, that I am concerned about the meeting my wonderful son, Donald, had in Trump Tower. This was a meeting to get information on an opponent, totally legal and done all the time in politics – and it went nowhere. I did not know about it!”

He’s so concerned for his son that he threw him under the bus while making it clear that he himself had no involvement or knowledge about the meeting. Thanks, Dad!

The thing is, it’s not done all the time in politics. Yes, campaigns get dirt on political opponents. Was the Clinton campaign colluding with Russia by paying a former British agent to investigate Trump? No. They did not work or seek help from a foreign government. The Trump campaign did. Trump and his sycophants don’t understand the difference. But, maybe they’ll have a lot of time to think about it.

Here’s the other thing; Trump lied about the meeting. Trump Jr. lied about the meeting. Trump tried to cover it up. Since they’re on the record lying about it multiple times in the past, how can we believe anything they’re saying to explain it now? Why should we believe Trump didn’t know about it? Why should we believe they didn’t get any information from Russia? Why should we believe there weren’t more contacts.

I have a not-so-bold prediction. This long national nightmare of Watergate with stupid people won’t end without someone named Trump receiving a presidential pardon. A much bolder prediction would be; who and how many?

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Raiding The Fixer

cjones04112018

Donald Trump said the raid on his private attorney’s office is an attack on our country and what we all stand for. Apparently, we all stand for money laundering and paying porn stars hush money.

Michael Cohen is less of an attorney and more of a personal fixer. It helps when you have a law license. On Mueller Monday, April 9, the FBI raided Cohen’s office at 30 Rockefeller (yeah, the same building that houses NBC), his home, and hotel room (because he’s been staying in a hotel for a while). This is amazing just for the sheer fact Cohen is Trump’s lawyer. Lawyers and their clients share a privilege of secrecy and confidentiality, but that doesn’t mean a lawyer and his client can be partners in crime.

The FBI was working on behalf of the Southern District of New York, as Mueller’s team passed this case on to them. For investigators to acquire a warrant to raid a lawyer’s office and seize his files, computers, phones, etc, they had to convince a judge there was enough evidence to warrant a crime. The bar for acquiring such a warrant is extremely high, even if the client isn’t the president.

What sort of crimes could we be looking at? There’s the campaign finance violation. Cohen claims he paid off porn star Stormy Daniels out of the goodness of his heart to protect his friend, Donald Trump. Cohen and Trump both claim that Trump was unaware of this payment. But, this payment was days before the presidential election. This was a campaign contribution and it exceeded the maximum amount allowed for an individual, by a lot.

A lawyer is not supposed to make settlements on his client’s behalf without his client’s agreement, and these guys claim Trump didn’t know about it. He also negotiated the thing through his Trump organization email. Trump really does hire the best people. For this shenanigan, Cohen can and should lose his license to practice law.

Cohen says he took out a line of credit on his home for this money, which was never reimbursed by Trump. For him to take out this line of credit he would have to apply for the loan. Did he put “porn star hush payment” on the application? I’m going to bet he did not, and that alone may be bank fraud. Investigators are also looking into wire fraud. Criminals have been purchasing units in Trump’s towers for years for money laundering.

Trump has become unhinged over this raid. Before a meeting with his war advisers, he spoke to the press and referred to it as a “break-in,” when in fact it’s a lawful raid with a warrant. He claimed this was an attack on our nation. He was visibly disturbed as he groused about it with his arms tightly folded together. On the 11th Hour on MSNBC, Republican strategist Steve Schmidt said Trump looked like a dime-store Mussolini.

Trump complained about the people behind this being Obama’s people, that the FBI needed to go after Hillary Clinton, and he attacked his own appointees. He attacked Geoffrey Berman, the U.S. attorney for the office that was handed the case by the Special Counsel. He again criticized Attorney General Jeff Sessions for recusing himself from the Russia investigation and not using his position as Trump’s personal protection service. He attacked the man overseeing the investigation, Rod Rosenstein, and he discussed firing Robert Mueller. What he didn’t mention was the rule of law. He talked about the unfairness of it all, as American society has made life difficult and grueling for white billionaires.

Former U.S. Attorney Joyce White Vance said, “This search warrant is like dropping a bomb on Trump’s front porch.” The FBI just raided the guy who knows all of Trump’s dirtiest secrets. If we know about the porn stars, what else is there that’s worse?

Cohen was the lead negotiator for the Moscow Trump Tower that Trump was working on during his presidential campaign. He even negotiated a $150,000 payment from a Ukrainian oligarch to the Trump Foundation for Trump to speak to a conference in Kiev during the presidential campaign. The Trump Foundation is a scam charity that Trump has used to purchase gifts for himself, to make political donations to a state attorney general in Florida who was looking into Trump University, and to pay Eric Trump’s Boy Scout fee.

The fear now is that Mueller is so close to Trump’s finances and dirty deeds that Trump may fire him. There’s no telling what investigators are going to find in Cohen’s secret stash. Trump has to weigh the fallout versus what Mueller may find. The problem with this is, the investigation into Cohen isn’t being handled by Mueller’s team, though some of it may be handed back to them depending on what’s found.

Trump also can’t fire Michael Avenatti, the lawyer for Stormy Daniels, who won’t stop until he gets Trump into a deposition or a courtroom.

Trump is in trouble. His presidency is the epicenter of the corruption that has consumed his administration. He’s also used it to enrich himself and those close to him. He’s expressed more concern for his special interest than he has for the job he was elected to do. He’s running the presidency as he ran his company, like a family crime business.

The question that remains is; will Trump burn the country down and the rule of law to save his own ass? Unfortunately, precedent points toward his ass. Let’s hope Mueller nails it first.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Nucken Futz & Associates

cjones03232018

Donald Trump is in serious legal trouble.

He’s being investigated by Robert Mueller, a former head of the FBI and a man who investigated and prosecuted major financial fraud, terrorism and public corruption cases, as well as narcotics conspiracies and international money launderers. He oversaw prosecutions of Manuel Noriega, the Lockerbie bombing case, and the Gambino crime family boss John Gotti. He’s also a Marine veteran who was wounded in Vietnam. Robert Mueller is not playing around.

Mueller has put together a team of the nation’s top lawyers, most of whom are former prosecutors, or still prosecutors on loan from their district offices. These lawyers went after Enron, corrupt union officials and government employees, white-collar criminals, gangsters, terrorists, spies, and money launderers. One of these lawyers was on the Watergate team.

Donald Trump’s defense against this legal dream team are lawyers willing to work for Donald Trump. Trump has a history of not paying his lawyers. He’s a client who doesn’t take his lawyers’ advice and shut up about the investigation. He won’t stop tweeting about the investigation. He’s a man who doesn’t just have a history of lying in public and to the press, he’s been caught lying in court and in depositions. Donald Trump’s word is less credible than that of a porn star.

Donald Trump publicly asked Russia to help him win the election. His son invited Russians inside Trump Tower while Trump was in the tower. Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, and then told the Russians and Lester Holt he fired him to end the investigation. Trump’s public stupidity created the Special Counsel.

Trump tweeted that he fired Michael Flynn for lying to the vice president and the FBI. This tweet implicates that Trump knew Flynn was under investigation by the FBI when he asked James Comey to take it easy on him. That’s obstruction of justice. One of Trump’s personal lawyers, John Dowd, claims he wrote the tweet, which would clear the president. The problem is, nobody believes that. Another problem is the stupidity of sending the tweet. Dowd is representing Trump in the Russia case.

Another one of his personal attorneys is Jay Sekulow who went on Fox News and claimed Trump was not under investigation while also saying Trump was under investigation. He also claimed everything said between Trump and Comey was attorney/client privilege, though Comey is not Trump’s attorney. Isn’t that sort of stuff on the bar exam?

Don McGahn is White House Counsel, and he’s been described as the “worst White House Counsel ever.” He pressured James Comey, before he was fired, to publicly exonerate Trump. He made a failed pitch for Attorney General Jeff Sessions not to recuse himself. He attempted to legally defend the Nunes Memo in the court of public opinion. Maybe worst of all, he oversaw the Rob Porter scandal, where normally the White House Counsel would have nixed hiring a wife beater.

Then there’s Michael Cohen, the lawyer representing Trump in the Stormy Daniels case. Cohen claims he paid off Daniels with his own money and without Trump’s knowledge. He claims the payment isn’t an illegal campaign contribution and it’s not linked to Trump in any way, though all his communication during the payment was with a Trump Organization email address. I’m shocked he hasn’t used the company’s fax machine to send Robert Mueller copies of his butt.

The only competent lawyer on Trump’s team is Ty Cobb, and Trump is about to fire him. Trump and the White House claim they’re not about to fire Cobb, but Trump tweeted ten days ago that he wasn’t going to add any more lawyers to his team. Yesterday, he added another lawyer to his team.

Trump has hired attorney Joseph diGenova, a man who has gone on Fox News and said, “There was a brazen plot to illegally exonerate Hillary Clinton and, if she didn’t win the election, to then frame Donald Trump with a falsely created crime. It wasn’t the Russians who corrupted the presidential election; it was the American officials at the Department of Justice and the FBI.” He capped off his statements with, “I would consider this the largest law enforcement scandal in history for this reason.”

Trump, who spent years claiming Obama was born in Kenya, loves a good conspiracy theory. He also loves to hire people from TV. The fourth-highest ranking member of the State Department came directly from Fox & Friends (I shit you not). And, diGenova fits the bill, as he’s a conspiracy theorist who goes on TV.

During the presidential campaign, diGenova claimed the FBI would charge Hillary Clinton, and she’d be unqualified to run for president. He also hawked conspiracy theories on Benghazi.

Trump attempted to hire a legal heavyweight in Theodore Olson, a former solicitor general. Proof of Olson being a smart and capable lawyer is the fact that when offered a job representing Donald Trump, he said nope, nope, nope, nope, no, hell no, forget about it, and no thank you. Early in the investigation, lawyers all over D.C. were talking about turning down Trump.

Trump is in serious trouble and I haven’t decided if his undoing will be his mouth or his penis. But, though I’m not a lawyer, I do have some great legal advice for Trump.

Just keep tweeting and talking. Tweet, talk, tweet, talk, talk, tweet, and everything will work out fine. OK, that’s great advice that will help out the nation. Trump, not so much. But, it will be good for America.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button. Thank you!

Collusion With Duckies

cjones03152018

The House Intelligence Committee wrapped up its Russia investigation last night saying they found no evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia, and that Russia didn’t even favor Trump over Hillary Clinton in the 2016 campaign.

Slight correction there: The Republicans on the committee found no collusion. The Democrats on the committee thought they were still investigating, and they weren’t consulted on the investigation ending or for input on the final report.

Over the years, the House Intelligence Committee was respected for its bipartisanship and the seriousness in which it took in protecting the nation. Now, it’s just a refuge for sycophants who put party and cult of personality over country. The committee has shrugged its responsibility for partisanship and a pursuit of conspiracy theories.

Representative Michael Conaway of Texas told reporters that the worst they found was “perhaps some bad judgment, inappropriate meetings, and inappropriate judgment at taking meetings.” That’s an interesting verdict from the people who never asked “What did the president know and when did he know it?”

Conaway took over the leadership of the committee after chairman Devin Nunes pretended to recuse himself. Nunes was on the Trump Transition Team and was caught feeding the White House updates on the investigation and seeking their input on how to move forward or stall.

Later, the Republicans on the committee issued their memo attacking the FBI for legally acquiring a warrant to conduct a surveillance operation on a Russian spy working on the Trump campaign.

The entire agenda of the GOP on the committee was to obstruct, deflect, protect Trump, and protect Russia at the sake of national security.

Trump responded to the report with a tweet written in all caps, “THE HOUSE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE HAS, AFTER A 14 MONTH LONG IN-DEPTH INVESTIGATION, FOUND NO EVIDENCE OF COLLUSION OR COORDINATION BETWEEN THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN AND RUSSIA TO INFLUENCE THE 2016 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.”

There’s about as much credibility in the GOP’s report as a diploma from Trump University. I’m just kinda surprised they didn’t take Putin’s lead and blame Jews for the hacking.

The Republicans refused to interview several players from the Trump campaign and chose not to recall witnesses like Eric Prince, who is being investigated by the Special Counsel for a trip he took to Seychelles to create a back channel to Russia.

The Republicans ignored leaders from our intelligence agencies who told them Russia was favoring Trump.  It takes a special kind of stupid not to see that Russia clearly favored Donald Trump. Usually, that sort of stupidity is only found in the Trump family, or in his cabinet.

The Republicans ignoring facts and clear logic. They do, however, plan to keep investigating the FBI “abusing” FISA warrants, which is about as real as that pizza parlor child sex slave story Russia pushed to hurt Clinton.

Thankfully, Robert Mueller’s office of Special Counsel isn’t close to being done investigating Trump, collusion, obstruction, and several other matters. Maybe it’s a good thing the House has ended their investigation as they won’t be in the way anymore, interviewing the same witnesses as the Special Counsel, and leaking what they learn from them.

You don’t need to read a tweet in all caps to know that Donald Trump is the most self-serving individual to ever hold the office of president. He should not be there.

For that matter, Devin Nunes should not be a representative in the United States Congress. Neither should Mike Conaway, Peter King, Frank LoBiondo, Tom Rooney, Michael Turner, Brad Wenstrup, Chris Stewart, Rick Crawford, Trey Gowdy, Elise Stefanik, and Will Hurd, the Republicans on the committee.

We should have representatives who protect this nation instead of traitors and thus becoming traitors themselves.

Disclaimer: I used a very similar idea two years ago on March 2, 2016. I liked the angle so I drew it again. So sue me.

Here is the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button. Thank you!

Nukes And Baldwins

cjones03062018

Donald Trump had a horrible week. Pundits are calling it the week of chaos.

Hope Hicks resigned as White House Communications Director (Trump’s fourth) after testifying before Congress when she said that she’s told “white lies” for Trump in the past. I’m not sure how the White House can replace someone with the judgement to date a married Corey Lewandowski and wife-beating Rob Porter, and to work for Donald Trump. Over 50 people have left jobs in Trump’s White House.

White House Adviser and Trump son-in-law, Jared Kushner lost his security clearance. As it’s been pointed out, the White House calligrapher has a higher security clearance than Jared. To make matters worse, it was revealed this week that Jared accepted over $500 million in loans from corporations he had meetings within the White House. In addition to that shit storm, it came to light that the nation of Qatar and U.S. ally rejected giving Jared a loan, shortly before the United States accused them of supporting terrorism and initiated a blockade of that country, where over 10,000 U.S. troops are stationed.

Jared has been trying to get someone to bail out his purchase of a building on 5th Avenue with the address 666.  Who knew that other than the Trump White House, there’s a second Trump circle of Hell?

To make matters worse for Jared, Robert Mueller is looking into his financial fuckery. I’m not sure if Jared is familiar with Mueller, but someone should tell him that he’s serious. Mueller is also inquiring as to if Trump knew about the Russian hacks into the Democrats email before the knowledge became public.

Mueller is also looking into a shady business deal of Ivanka’s. The Trump crime family may occupy an entire wing of a federal prison if this keeps up.

According to sources, Trump is trying to pressure Jared and Ivanka to quit. Trump is probably that source. Unfortunately for Trump, no one in this White House reads the Times or the Post, so they probably won’t get that hint. But, National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster, one of the few adults in the White House, is apparently ready to bail and Gary Cohn, Trump’s Economic Adviser who almost quit during Nazi week may be ready to go with him.

Trump said he’d raise the age to purchase an AR-15 and that he’d like to seize weapons from some people and worry about due process later. I just love that the president who is actually stating he wants to grab guns is the one Republican idiots voted for.

Trump will probably backtrack on both of those statements, but he did say he’s not afraid of the NRA. He said that between lunch with the NRA and dinner with the NRA.

Trump also promised to raise tariffs on steel and aluminum which is great for U.S. steel companies, but bad for companies that purchase steel. It’s also bad if you’re a beer drinker. He’s taking your guns, and he’s jacking the price on beer. Good job, Republicans.

Trump’s goal with a trade war, which he says is a good thing, is to hit China. Who he’s actually hitting is Canada, and they’ve vowing to hit back. Nobody was expecting this trade war, including Cohn who has voiced what a terrible idea it is.

Because they can’t stop leaking, other White House sources, or the same ones as before, who knows, said Trump started the trade war because he’s in a bad mood. Is he going to bomb Jamaica if he gets a hemorrhoid?

He attacked his Attorney General, Jeff Sessions. Again. He has privately referred to Sessions as Mr. Magoo.

Chief of Staff John Kelly made jokes at a Homeland Security function that God was punishing him by making him take the White House job. He’s punishing all of us, John. Kelly also defended his handling of wife-beating Rob Porter, saying he thought the abuse was just emotional, not physical. John Kelly lies a lot.

Ben Carson, who has less business being the HUD Secretary than Jared and Ivanka have in the White House, spent over $31,000 of taxpayer money on a dining room set for his office. Even the quiet ones in this administration are corrupt.

Realizing that things were getting heavy, Trump told a joke to lighten the mood. He said that he would have run into the school in Parkland, even if he didn’t have a weapon. We all needed the laugh…what? He was serious?

To top it all off, Vladimir Putin claimed he has a new “invincible” missile. He showed off a computer graphic of it striking Florida, near the location of Mar-a-Lago. To be honest, if it wasn’t a nuclear missile and just your average everyday bunker-busting missile, we’d probably be OK with it.

With all these serious issues occurring, Trump had to lash out, and he did….at Alec Baldwin. Seriously.

Trump may not be afraid of the NRA, but he’s afraid of Putin. Maybe the NRA should find a pee tape of him.

Trump finds the acting skills of a Baldwin more menacing to the United States than Putin’s threat of a new cold war. I could maybe understand if he was attacking Daniel Baldwin, the Eric Trump of Baldwins. Go rent Sharks in Venice. But, no. He was attacking the talented one.

He couldn’t even do that right. He tweeted his attack on “Alex” Baldwin, whose career was “dieing” before he started impersonating Trump.

All things considered, I don’t think this week was anymore chaotic than a typical Trump week. Sure, it was bad, but I think it’d have to get a lot worse to beat defending Nazis and endorsing pedophiles, or that first week when Trump became President.

I’m still having nightmares about that one.

Here’s the video.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

To Protect And Something Something

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While an active shooter was killing his former classmates last week in Parkland, Florida, the only cop on the scene stayed outside and took cover. There are now reports that other officers arriving at the scene also remained outside choosing to hide behind their cars.

Trump has called the School Resource Deputy a coward. He and others are choosing to ignore that a gun on campus didn’t stop the slaughter as they argue for more guns on school campuses.

Trump and the good folks at the NRA, who value assault weapons over children’s lives, want to put guns in the hands of teachers. Trump says it will be different for teachers since they’ll know the students they’re protecting. The cop at the school knew those students too as he worked there since 2010.

The deputy failed to protect and defend as he swore to do. He has resigned in disgrace since this information went public. Maybe Trump should think about resigning too.

Donald Trump has refused to protect and defend this nation, which he swore to do when he took the oath of office on inauguration day.

When NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre and spokesgoon Dana Loesch spoke at CPAC Thursday, they blamed dozens of individuals, institutions, and circumstances for mass shootings without blaming guns. When Donald Trump finally acknowledged Russia hacked the 2016 election, he blamed dozens without blaming Russia.

That’s because Donald Trump is a coward, and he should resign.

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I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Rooty Tooty For Pootie

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I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook a few hours ago and I noticed one of my conservative friends created a post with a complaint. This friend, we’ll call her Allie because that’s her real name, was upset because she had posted a news story only to have it removed by Facebook. She posted it three times and three times Facebook had removed it.

Why would Facebook remove her post? Probably because it was a conspiracy theory generated by Russian bots from one of their troll farms. The story was about the children from the Parkland shooting who are voicing out for gun control, and how they’re actually paid actors.  The story is such garbage that Donald Trump will probably retweet it later. He’s retweeted from Russian bots before.

Donald Trump is an idiot, but Allie is not. Allie, however, does find confirmation bias too delicious to pass up or to confirm. Who cares if it’s advancing the goals of a hostile nation intent to tearing ours apart? Did you hear about the Washington pizza parlor?

They call it a troll farm for a reason. The Russians are creating trolls and Allie has allowed herself to become one. Many of these people are unwittingly hurting our nation. Others are aware and just don’t care. Screw pride, principles, and ethics. Did you hear that the Pope endorsed Trump?

First off, they hurt our nation by voting for Donald Trump. Earlier this week, a Trump supporter, we’ll call Gary because that’s his real name, told me he voted for the lesser of two evils. I pointed out that the lesser of two evils is not the candidate supported by Vladimir Putin. Gary, who is a veteran and considers himself a patriot, told me he doesn’t need voting tips from someone of my persuasion. Never mind that Gary’s allowing himself to be persuaded by Putin. Did you hear about Obama bugging Trump Tower?

It’s not just confirmation bias that moves these people to support Russia over the United States. It’s their partisanship, which is apparently more important than national security. National security was an important issue to them and one of the biggest reasons they cite for voting against Hillary Clinton, for who they chanted “lock her up” because of her email server. Now that Donald Trump has given classified information to Russians who were hanging out in the Oval Office, and he has over 100 staffers in the White House who can’t get a security clearance, national security doesn’t seem that important anymore. Did you read the Nunes memo?

Russia is dirty. They helped Donald Trump cheat to win the presidency. They’re so dirty, that because of doping their Olympic athletes can’t even compete under their nation’s flag. They’re so dirty that even their curling team is doping. I thought doping would be for watching curling, not playing it.

To Trump supporters, stop sharing fake news. Stop helping a hostile nation destroy ours. They’re still attacking us and you, unlike Trump, should stop helping them.

Root for the home team.

Here’s the video. Please subscribe.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Trump’s Message From Parkland

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There are going to be howls from conservatives who find this cartoon tasteless but won’t see anything wrong with Donald Trump using the school shooting in Parkland, Florida to attack the FBI and deflect from his collusion with Russia.

Trump continues to say there’s “no collusion.” If there wasn’t any collusion then why does he feel the need to keep saying it? If this was the Princess Bride, we’d say “I don’t think that word means what you think it means.” Trump has brought much harm to this nation, and as Fezzik would say, he’s done it without much charm.

Republicans criticized Obama for politicizing mass shootings when he argued for gun control. Now, Republicans should criticize Trump for politicizing the Parkland school shooting, which he has done not for the public’s safety, but for his own political and personal ambitions. Trump’s politicization of it could be viewed as a desperate act by a desperate man or as a stupid act by a very stupid, petty, little man.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation is not infallible or immune from criticism. They acknowledged they failed to investigate a tip a month before the shooting by Nikolas Cruz, who had semi-automatic weapons and publicly stated a desire to kill. This should be looked into, but politicized as a distraction from Russia and Trump, no.

Trump has decided this is an excellent new deflection from the Russia investigation. After meeting hospital workers in Florida Saturday and posing for a thumbs-up picture, Trump tweeted, “Very sad that the FBI missed all of the many signals sent out by the Florida school shooter. This is not acceptable. They are spending too much time trying to prove Russian collusion with the Trump campaign – there is no collusion. Get back to the basics and make us all proud!”

This new argument is based on a belief that every FBI field office across the nation is investigating Donald Trump’s collusion with Russia. In addition to that crazy belief, Trump is blaming Obama for not doing enough to stop Russia’s meddling in our election.

Trump is incapable of acknowledging a fact, the rest of the nation was already aware of for over a year, without adding a conspiracy to it. I’m waiting for him to blame Obama for Don Jr. inviting Russians to Trump Tower. Meanwhile, Russia is still attacking our nation focused on the midterm elections this year, and Trump hasn’t enacted sanctions against Russia or even held one cabinet-level meeting on their meddling.

Trump said, “They are laughing their asses off in Moscow.” With that, I have to agree. They are laughing their asses off. They elected the least capable person any major party has ever nominated for the United States presidency. Vladimir Putin’s self-control is impressive as any other authoritarian strongman would probably be laughing uncontrollably each time he’s in Trump’s presence.

It’s outrageous that the man with access to the best intelligence sources in the world believes the FBI is incapable of investigating one case at a time. Has he never watched X Files? Out of 35,000 employees, only two of them were investigating UFOs.

It’s disgusting that he uses the deaths of 17 school shooting victims to cover his ass. As for his sycophants, it’s not just a deflection for the Trump/Russia investigation, it’s another opportunity not to talk about gun violence.

Trump has yet to even mention guns in association with the attack on the high school. Trump is a coward, and he won’t mention guns since the NRA spent over $50 million during the 2016 presidential campaign for him and other Republicans, with some of that money coming from Russia.

The school shooting was very convenient for Trump, as he could make a photo-op in Parkland, give a thumbs-up, and then spend the rest of his weekend at his Mar-a-Lago resort, which is nearby. Perhaps he should have spent some time with the survivors of the attack.

The survivors would have told Trump a lot of stuff about guns he doesn’t want to hear, and he tends to avoid those types of rooms. But, it would have presented him with examples of bravery. Knowing Trump, he wouldn’t have recognized any of it.

If nothing else, maybe Trump could learn that when a national tragedy happens, it’s not always all about him.

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I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude