Comey Firing

Tricking The Best Brain


I need you to sit down and prepare yourself for some shocking information. Someone tricked Donald Trump. He was fooled. Got played for a sucker. Had his nipples twisted. Someone pulled the hairpiece, I mean rug, over his eyes. Putin said, “pull my finger.” And you know, if Putin tells Donald to do something Donald is going to do that something.

To be fair, Trump has done his share of making suckers out of other people. He’s convinced three women to marry him. He’s talked banks into loaning him money. He’s gotten contractors to trust that he would pay them AFTER they completed the job. Why as recently as last November he conned nearly 63 million unsuspecting Americans who are still waiting on Mexico to pay for that wall (and Obamacare will be replaced with something better, taxes will be released, he’ll fill his administration with the best people, defeat ISIS in 30 days, if Hillary is elected there will be constant investigations, etc.). But this time Trump is the fool, so shame on the Russians.

The White House told the American press that the Russians tricked them and that “Russians lie,” which is a total shocker. They’ve been riding a streak of honesty ever since 1962 when they told us there weren’t any nuclear missiles in Cuba.

I know you’re asking yourself “how can anyone fool Donald Trump?” He assured us that he’s smarter than everyone else and he has the best brain. Remember on the campaign trail he told us that the governments of Mexico, China, Russia, all of Europe, Narnia, etc., were out-smarting our politicians, and only Donald Trump could negotiate with them. Turns out that in addition to legislation, Trump can’t negotiate a photo-op.

We are talking about the sort of brain that thought inviting Russians to the Oval Office, the day after he fired FBI director Jim Comey, wouldn’t come off as bad optics.

You may also be asking yourself as I have, “why in the world would you invite Russians to the White House, specifically the one Russian, Sergey Kislyak, everyone in your administration has lied about meeting?” The answer is: Because Putin told him to. According to Trump, Putin asked him and Trump’s statement to Lester Holt was “what? I’m going to say ‘no’?”.

YES! You say “no. Now is not a good time. It’ll look bad. People are saying my mouth is your ‘cock holster.’ How could you even ask me right now? Do you not watch the news like…ever? I just fired the guy investigating me for being complicit with you, which of course I am, so maybe we should play it cool for a day or two. People will talk. My spokespeople won’t be able to coordinate the lies correctly. No! No! No! No! No! And nyet!”

But no. Trump lets Russians into the Oval Office. To be fair, you don’t say “no” to someone who’s holding a copy of you in a Russian-hooker tape. It’s why Trump won’t say anything bad about Putin….or Michael Flynn. Come to think of it, he’s never said anything bad about Russian hookers either. Hmmm?

Trump not only let Russians in, he let them bring their own press people (and all that recording equipment) and prevented the American press from witnessing the event. Trump felt confident that his handshakes, hugs, smiles, and sucking up wouldn’t be seen by anyone. Except, oops. The Russians released the footage showing him being practically excited to see them. Excited compared to his refusal to shake the hand of Germany’s Angela Merkel.

The White House was furious with one official telling CNN’s Jim Acosta “they tricked us,” and “they lie.” Well no duh there, Sparky. You got rolled by Putin. You’re lucky if Trump still has both kidneys. Better hope Christie’s are healthy.

You block the free press from covering the event and allow Putin’s paid propaganda unit in. What is that expression that suits this situation? Oh yeah. Karma is a bitch. Check for that kidney.

The White House later released their own photos, but none of Trump with Kislyak, just with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov. That’s totally understandable because everyone in this administration forgets they met with Kislyak.

If you still support Trump, then I have a suggestion for you. Maybe you can contact the Russian embassy and purchase an 8×10 print of Trump and Kislyak posing together in the Oval Office. It may become your most cherished possession.

I know you’ll cherish it more than patriotism.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

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Tricky Woulda Thunk It


D’oh! The White House was shocked, dismayed, surprised, bewildered, caught off guard, gobsmacked at the backlash they received for firing FBI Director James Comey. They thought everyone would like Trump firing the man leading an investigation into his campaign coordinating with the Russians. Hey, at least the Russians like the firing.

Of course these are the same people who thought it would be a good idea to send Education Secretary Betsy Devos, who recently said the founders of historically black colleges were real pioneers of school choice, to a historically black college. What’s next? Sending Steve Bannon to speak at a synagogue?

A colleague of mine made a statement that there are a lot of Nixon cartoons being drawn over the Comey firing issue. He’s right and there’s all sorts of comparisons being made in the press to Nixon’s firing of Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox in 1974 to what’s famously phrased as the “Saturday Night Massacre.”

My third cartoon of 2017 was comparing Trump to Nixon and I believe I’ve successfully refrained since then until today from drawing him again. Using Nixon is an easy go-to metaphor just like using Hitler, Nazis, and Klansmen for racist-like behavior. But it’s really hard not to compare the Trump administration to Nazis when he’s retweeting, associating, and filling his cabinet with Nazis. It’s also hard not to when the KKK throws a parade in Trump’s honor, but I digress.

Every president since Nixon has been compared to Nixon at some point during their administrations. Trump is drawing the comparisons to the point that the Nixon Library doesn’t want their guy compared to Trump. Who can blame them? Nixon was an evil, deceitful, corrupt piece of crap, but comparing him to Trump is a bit too much for the Nixon Milhous Fanclub. At the very least Nixon didn’t express more loyalty to a hostile nation than to the United States or grab anyone’s vagina.

Trump may wish to be compared more to Old Hickory Andrew Jackson than to Nixon, but right now Old Dickory is closer to being compared to Tito Jackson than Andrew.

Trump’s reasoning for firing Comey is not believable. There are reports that he was looking for a reason to can the FBI director and the Deputy Attorney General gave him one in that Comey was to mean to Hillary Clinton. Donald Trump caring about Clinton’s well-being is about as believable as him caring about Rosie O’Donnell’s feelings, or Steve Bannon going kosher.

There is another report that Comey asked for more resources, from the man who eventually recommended his firing, to investigate the Russia case. He also reportedly told associates that Trump was “crazy” for claiming Obama wiretapped him and that he was “outside the realm of normal.” Why didn’t Comey make a move on Melania while he was at it? Or even worse, question Trump’s ratings and crowd sizes?

The Washington Post is reporting Trump was becoming frustrated that Comey wasn’t loyal to him and wasn’t doing enough to look into leaks of his administration’s connections to Putin. At the very least Comey should have been as loyal to Trump as Trump is to Putin, right? Why couldn’t Comey just shut up and eat the meatloaf?

Another detail that was chapping the prez’s spray-tanned hide was Comey not backing up Trump’s claim that Obama had him wiretapped. What really made him nauseous was Comey stating that the thought of his decisions affecting the election’s outcome made him nauseous. Trust me. We’re all nauseous. And I’m not talking about the kind of nauseous after being made aware of Trump’s vagina neck.

According to a person close to the White House, on Monday Trump told V.P. Pence, Bannon, Reince Priebus, Donald McGhan, and others that he wanted to move on Comey. He summoned Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who is a loyal lapdog who promised to recuse himself from all matters related to the Russia investigation, and Deputy A.G. Rod Rosenstein to the White House with the directive to explain in writing the case against Comey.

The letter Trump wrote informing Comey of his firing was delivered by his longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller (who reportedly, like Chris Christie, also sings “I Will Always Love You” to The Donald). Trump made sure to mention in the letter that Comey told him three times that he’s not under investigation into the Russia matter.

There are also reports that Trump has hired a new law firm, based in D.C., to defend him in questions about his business connections to Russia. I hear they’re really good with cases involving whiplash injuries.

The White House may deny these reports, which come from over 30 sources at the White House, Justice Department, FBI, and Capitol Hill. But they’re a hell of a lot more believable than the story of Trump caring about Hillary Clinton.

Conservatives have spent the past 48 hours pointing out the fact that Democrats didn’t like Comey and many wanted him fired. Every conservative political cartoonist has drawn the same cartoon with that argument. They fail to mention Trump’s hypocrisy of supporting Comey’s decisions to inform Congress and the public that he was reopening the investigation into Clinton and her email server. Funny how that works.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, White House Deputy Press Secretary, made the same argument conveniently forgetting that in the past she too went on cable news to praise Comey’s release of the letter. Keep in mind that Sean Spicer is her boss and her father is Mike Huckabee which would set anyone up for saying all sorts of bullshit.

Kellyanne Conway reappeared on the networks to make the same case and to nail her point home, reminded us that Trump won Michigan. What? That has to do with Russia like…oh never mind. Go do something else, Kellyanne, like talking to a microwave.

So, the Nixon comparisons are here. I really wish I could avoid them but it’s kinda hard to when the day after he fires Comey Trump invites Henry Kissinger to the White House. Who suggested that optic? Let me guess. Was it Kellyanne? Was it also her suggestion that Trump invite Russian ambassador and top spy Sergey Kislyak and Russia’s foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov (who made jokes about Comey’s firing Wednesday morning) to the Oval Office and only allow Russian media into the room?

Trump probably didn’t want the American press in there as there aren’t any “corners” to hide in.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.