Mitch’s Legacy

Mitch McConnell announced yesterday that he’s giving up his leadership position in the United States Senate. Mitch has been in the Senate since 1985 and the Republican Leader since 2007. He’s been a lying hypocritical asshole the entire time.

McConnell is a guy who respects the tradition and dignity of the Senate, except when he doesn’t. He never would have supported someone like Donald Trump, but was eager to use him to push for tax cuts for billionaires and stock the Supreme Court with repressive fundamentalist troglodytes. McConnell never cared about the ethics of how he got to a place, just so long as he got there.

After passing tax cuts for billionaires, McConnell celebrated with Trump in a ceremony at the White House where he kissed his ass because he knew how to manipulate Trump. Trump later claimed that McConnell said the first two years of the Trump administration (sic) were the “most productive” of his entire career which could be a lie because Trump said it, or it could be true because McConnell was squeezing all he could get out of Trump.

McConnell knew that a repugnant person like Donald Trump would probably only serve one term, so he kissed that ass, pulled the strings, and got all he could out of him in a short amount of time.

Mitch McConnell told us that a tax cut for billionaires would lower the debt, but we knew then he was lying. He knew he was lying. And it didn’t lower the debt. Who knew that giving billionaires massive tax cuts while increasing spending would add around $8 trillion to the debt? You don’t have to spend 38 years in the Senate to figure that one out. But where McConnell really fucked this country is with the Supreme Court.

After Justice Antonin Scalia died during the 2016 presidential campaign, McConnell refused to hold hearings for President Obama’s nominee, Merrick Garland, for nearly a year. His argument was that the people needed to decide who should make that appointment, either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. Except the people chose President Obama to make that decision, reelecting him in 2012 to serve four more years, not three.

McConnell was able to block Garland’s nomination and after Putin helped Trump take over the White House, McConnell promptly held hearings for Trump’s nominee, Neil Gorsuch, who, surprise, is a white guy.

The funny thing is, most Americans voted for Hillary Clinton so even if we used McConnell’s argument about letting the people decide who to nominate to fill Scalia’s seat, they chose Clinton. In fact, more Americans voted for Democratic Senate candidates than for Republican ones in 2016. A minority of voting Americans got to choose who to seat on the Supreme Court. Nice.

And then a deal was made with Justice Anthony Kennedy to resign from the court in 2018 and Trump and McConnell rammed through accused wannabe rapist and kegger enthusiast Brett Kavanaugh, another white guy, to fill the new vacancy.

Then Ruth Bader Ginsburg died on September 18, 2020, and despite there only being a little over a month until election day, McConnell didn’t wait for the people to decide who should appoint her, Trump or Joe Biden. No, he rammed through the nomination of cultist fundamentalist Amy Coney Barrett, who is also white. Trump and McConnell, who once implied that Black voters are not American voters, didn’t seek out any diversity for the court.

Because of Mitch McConnell and Vladimir Putin, the dumbest and most racist person in the nation was allowed to give three religious zealots lifetime appointments to the highest court in the land.

After the white nationalist Trump insurrection on January 6, 2021, McConnell saw he had gotten all he could out of Trump and blamed him for the attack. But, he refused to vote to convict Trump after his second impeachment. Since then, McConnell has been an enemy of Trump which makes him an enemy to all MAGAts.

In his speech yesterday, McConnell said, “Believe me, I know the politics within my party at this particular time. I have many faults. Misunderstanding politics is not one of them.” His Reaganesque national security views have put him out of step with his party. While he opposes Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and wants to help fund that Democratic nation’s defense against a fascist invasion, the rest of his party sides with Trump which is siding with Putin.

McConnell does plan to finish his term which ends in 2027, but I’m sure like Kevin McCarthy found out, it’s no fun just being a rank-and-file member after stepping down from leadership, especially when your colleagues are asshats like Matt Gaetz. For McConnell, he has fuckwits like Ted Cruz, Tommy Tuberville, and Josh Hawley. I would rather go home than attend a cocktail mixer with the likes of those shitweasels.

Whether you like Nancy Pelosi or not, she was good at her job. She was the best party leader the House had ever seen. She knew how to herd cats and count votes. McConnell, for better or worse and mostly for worse, was good at his job too. He knew how to corral racist MAGAts to ram cultist lying (Roe v. Wade is precedent…why ya even asking? Gosh…I like beer) zealots onto the Supreme Court. But now, he is out of step and is struggling to lead his membership. One example is the failure to help fund Ukraine’s war effort. It’s something McConnell wants but his members would rather listen to a guy who’s not even in the Senate, Donald Trump.

My prediction is that the Senate will find a new leader who’s kinda like Mike Johnson in the House, unable to lead and couldn’t find his racist ass if you superglued his racist hand to it. I don’t expect Senate Republicans to elect a flamethrower like Ted Cruz or Josh Hawley, or a moron like Marco Rubio or Tommy Tuberville. The party leader has to know the three branches of government are not the House, Senate, and CPAC, at the very least. Cruz and Rand Paul will not be considered because nobody likes either of those fuckers.

I predict it will be more of the old guard who’s very similar to McConnell, like Jon Cornyn, who is the most handsome man in Texas every time he’s standing next to Ted Cruz. While Mitch McConnell is 82, Cornyn is a whippersnapper at 72. South Dakota’s John Thune is even younger at 62. Another name being mentioned is John Barrasso from Wyoming, who is 71. The New Yoke Times said Barrasso is the “most conservative John” on the list. And when you see a photo of Barrasso, you’ll notice he looks like an angry landlord telling you that you’re making too much noise.

Rick Scott challenged McConnell in 2022 and may do so again. He would probably be perfect for Republicans because he’s an evil dick and looks like Voldemort, which means he actually looks like a penis.

While you may bet that a John wins the post, but my money is on a penis. Senate Republicans will select a dick to be their next leader.

As for Mitch McConnell, and all the damage he’s done to this country, I hope the door does hit him on the way out.

Creative note: I have used this concept twice before but different ideas each time. A lot of cartoonists do this without mentioning it, but I’m not trying to hide. The first time was on May 9, 2022, and the second was on February 14, 2023. Now I may remember this better than readers but sometimes, readers will remember work of mine that I’ve forgotten. I should probably retire this concept now.

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