Mitch McConnell

Impeach The Galoot


cjones02012020

Late Sunday night, The New York Times reported that President (sic) Donald Trump told his national security adviser last August that he wanted to freeze nearly $400 million in military aid to Ukraine until that government agreed to investigate Democrats, including the Bidens. These are details leaked from John Bolton’s upcoming book titled, How I Survived Working For a Racist, Narcissistic Idiot.” No, that’s not the title. It was too long.

Democrats have been wanting former national security adviser Bolton to testify about what he knows, what the president knows and when did he know it. Republicans have been resisting. Funny thing, Republicans have accused Democrats of rushing the impeachment while Senate Majority Leader says he doesn’t want witnesses as that’ll prolong the Senate trial. But not being consistent is par for the course for Republicans.

These idiots trotted out Ken Starr to argue against the “age of impeachment,” Pam Bondi to argue against nepotism and corruption, and Alan Dershowitz to argue against every position he’s held previously. The rest of Trump’s legal goons argued that Democrats were mean and we shouldn’t trust liars. Seriously. How can you argue that Trump didn’t do anything wrong while resisting testimony from people who witnessed him doing nothing wrong?

A draft of the book was submitted to the White House on December 30 for a review before publishing, which is standard for current and former officials. The White House is the main culprit as the leaker of the book or someone inside who doesn’t like Trump, which means it could be anyone.

Mitch McConnell told his Republican colleagues not to panic over the details and to “take a deep breath,” which is usually not recommended to people with their heads up their own asses. We also learned that the White House has been sitting on the draft without EVER informing Republicans in the Senate. I guess Trump never heard the expression “help me help you.”

According to the book, Trump withheld taxpayer money to Ukraine contingent on them doing him a personal favor. And, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo acknowledged to Bolton there was no basis to claims by Trump’s personal goon, Rudy Giuliani that our ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch was corrupt, and believed Rudy may have been acting on behalf of his other clients. It also links other officials to the corruption, including Attorney General William Barr and Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney.

The main thing this does, for now, is put pressure on Senate Republicans to vote for witnesses. Rushing the trial without them will now look like they’re engaging in the coverup, which they are but they don’t want that appearance.

Donald Trump tweeted that Bolton was lying to sell books. If anything, Bolton has been resisting testifying or even doing media interviews so he can hang onto his information to sell books. Hey, wanna find out how corrupt Trump is? Pay John Bolton $24.95 (or however much those books go for).

A Facebook friend of mine who’s a real pro-Trump troglodyte posted that John Bolton was lying. He didn’t base it on anything except that it must be a lie…because Trump is so honest. Remember when Donald Trump didn’t know about hush payments to porn stars and Playmates? Remember when Donald Trump didn’t know Lev Parnas? Donald Trump was found to be the liar in a he said/she said with Omarosa. It doesn’t matter whose word it is against Donald Trump’s, always bet against Trump. This is a guy who has told over 16,000 lies since he became president.

As revenge against Bolton, the White House could use the pre-publication review process, which has no set time frame, to delay or even kill the book’s publication or omit key passages. Though, like it is with executive privilege, it’ll be hard to argue for conversations to be omitted that Donald Trump himself has talked about. But delaying or killing the book will only happen if Trump is a vengeful person.

The one good thing Trump has going for him is that his cult will never discover the corrupt details Bolton’s revealing about him…because they’re in a book.

Testifying before the Senate, if it comes to that, may hurt Bolton’s book just as much as a delay in publishing. After eight hours on the stand, there may not be any bombshells left to tell. What sort of pomade does that mustache require anyway? I got nothing.

There are a few things I’m sure are in the book that we already know, like Donald Trump is a national security risk, is guilty, and should be removed from office as soon as possible.

I would be more than happy to witness the orange galoot’s eviction.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Midnight Mitch


cjones01262020

I could be wrong as I lost count, but I think Democrats went 0-13 in votes last night/this morning.

Why are the hearings going as late as 2:00 a.m? Why the rush? Originally, Mitch McConnell, who’s acquired the nickname “Midnight Mitch” to go along with “Moscow Mitch” and “Cocaine Mitch,” ruled that the prosecution and defense only had 24 hours, to be presented in two days, for opening arguments. After some Republicans expressed concerns that the rule would make it harder for them to hide the fact they’re helping Trump engage in a coverup, McConnell gave the two sides three days instead of two. Donald Trump’s confusion was how many hours there are in a day (in case you’re a Republican, 24).

This still pushed the trial to go as late as 2:00 a.m. this morning. Keep in mind, a lot of these Senators are extremely old. They’re required to be at their desk, not engage in any conversations, and without any electronic devices. Basically, they’re all doing something in a trial over Donald Trump that Donald Trump could NEVER do.

The biggest arguments have been over witnesses. The Republicans don’t want any. For weeks, we’ve heard that four moderate Republicans may join Democrats in voting for witnesses, but from what we saw last night, that’s not going to happen.

McConnell is hoping Americans don’t pay attention because none of this helps Donald Trump. Proof of that is the fact they don’t want witnesses and Trump’s legal team engaged in spreading huge lies while never arguing for Trump’s “innocence.” Yesterday, Republicans only argued over procedure. Witnesses and documents only prove that Donald Trump is guilty. Guilty of something Republicans spent the past three years telling us was a crime (no collusion), and now are convinced that asking a foreign nation to meddle in our election isn’t a big deal.

Republicans continue to argue that Donald Trump as president (sic) has executive privilege, despite the fact he’s never exercised that during the impeachment. The only privilege Trump has are sycophantic, cowardly Republicans who place cult of personality over country.

McConnell is hoping Americans go to sleep while the trial continues. He already has Republicans sleeping on it.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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To Solemnly Lickspittle


cjones01192020

I spent last Thursday morning nauseous and queasy from food poisoning. This morning, I was looking up photos of Senate Republicans, so yeah…another Thursday morning feeling nauseous and queasy.

Senate Republicans have already abandoned the oath they swore to when they took office. You know, that quaint idea of protecting and defending the United States of America from all forms of aggression, foreign and domestic. Because with Donald Trump, our nation’s received forms for aggression, foreign and domestic. How have Senate Republicans responded to it? They’ve all rolled over for belly rubs.

On the 2016 campaign trail, Donald Trump gave loyalty oaths at his hate rallies. He defended the practice from comparisons to the oaths Hitler demanded as “fun.” Republicans in Congress haven’t had a problem with the oath, at least not since the election. Before Trump was elected was another matter.

Lindsey Graham said of Trump, “He’s a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot,” and “You know how you make America great again? Tell Donald Trump to go to hell.” Now, he promises not to be a fair juror in Trump’s impeachment trial which is starting next week and said “I’ve clearly made up my mind, I’m not trying to hide the fact that I have disdain for the accusations and the process.”

Ted Cruz called Trump a “pathological liar” and a “sniveling coward” after Trump retweeted a meme comparing the beauty between their wives. Now, he’s defending coming to a conclusion before the trial.

Marco Rubio said, “No senator can be impartial.” Back in 2016, he was making fun of the size of Trump’s penis.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has resisted calling witnesses, despite new ones coming out every day stating how Trump was trying to bribe a foreign leader to help his reelection. McConnell is totally coordinating the trial with the White House.

This morning, Senate Republicans are going to take an impeachment oath they’ve already promised to break. You can argue that Democrats are doing the same, but at least they can base their opinion that Trump is guilty on the fact that all the witnesses, documents, and facts support that Trump is guilty.

And the Republicans who are promising to be openminded will only do so if they don’t have to hear any more witnesses or evidence against Trump. The only way this could be any worse would be if we found out later that one of the Senators was helping Trump bribe Ukraine. But fortunately, the guy who did that in Congress is in the House.

The impeachment trial of Donald Trump beings next week and should continue for two more. But this morning, Republicans will get a head start by swearing on an oath they don’t have any intention to follow. At the same time, they don’t have any intention of representing the United States.

Creative note: Can’t recognize all the Republicans and wanna give up? Here you go. Left to right (top row); Tom Cotton, Rand Paul, Rick Scott, Joni Ernst, Jerry Moran, Ben Sasse (bottom row) Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, Cindy Hyde-Smith, John Kennedy (very bottom) Marco Rubio.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Mitchy Trumpy Turtle


CNN12152019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I blogged on this issue today so you’re not getting another one. Just enjoy all the turtlety goodness.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Premature Republicans


cjones12182019

Is anyone surprised that Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and other Senate Republicans are promising to violate an oath before they even swear to it? Of course not as these are the same Republicans who have given up on everything they used to believe in. Remember when they claimed to believe in family values, the military, patriotism, reduced debt, and protecting our nation from Russia?

Mitch McConnell didn’t have any problem violating Senate rules and the Constitution when he refused to hold a hearing for President Obama’s last Supreme Court nominee and then handing that nomination to Donald Trump. McConnell didn’t have any problem with blocking Obama’s nominations to lower courts either. While Republicans claim Obama left vacancies for them to fill, the truth is that only 28.6% of his judicial nominees were approved by the Republican-led Senate during the last two years of his presidency. While appearing on Sean Hannity’s show on Fox News, McConnell took credit for blocking Obama’s nominees after Hannity wondered aloud why Obama left so many vacancies. And then McConnell cackled which will probably keep me up at nights for several years to come.

Senators are required to make a new oath of office before an impeachment trial. Article I, section 3, clause 6 of the Constitution sets out that senators sitting on a trial of impeachment “shall be on Oath or Affirmation.”

According to Rule XXV of Senate Rules in Impeachment Trials, all senators must make the following oath: “I solemnly swear [or affirm, as the case may be] that in all things appertaining to the trial of the impeachment of [the person being impeached], now pending, I will do impartial justice according to the Constitution and laws: So help me God.”

McConnell told Hannity, “Everything I do during this, I’m coordinating with the White House counsel. There will be no difference between the president’s position and our position as to how to handle this.” This was probably followed by more cackling. He said he will be working in “total coordination with the White House counsel’s office and the people representing the president in the well of the Senate.”

Lindsey Graham has stated he has no intention of being an impartial juror. He has stated a refusal to listen to the evidence and that there shouldn’t even be a trial. Back in 1998, Graham scolded his colleagues for making decisions before the trial. He said, “Let the facts do the talking,” and “don’t decide the case before the case is in.”

Graham and McConnell have no problems being hypocrites and telling us out loud that they plan to conduct a sham of a trial. Since they don’t have any problem violating an oath let’s hope their voters do.

Why vote for a politician who promises to break promises? If they are announcing they will violate an oath to be impartial, why would anyone believe they’ll keep their oath to protect the United States Constitution? I don’t.

Senators like Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham won’t keep their promises to protect the Constitution, the nation, or even the presidency. If anything, they’re promising to betray the nation.

They are promising the trial will be a sham just as they are as United States Senators.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Moscow Mitch


cjones08052019

The owner of one of the online news sites who subscribes to my cartoons emailed asking if I was going to draw a cartoon about Mitch McConnell. He mentioned that “MoscowMitch” was trending on Twitter and that the Senate Majority Leader was upset over this, which meant the editor was going to run every single anti-McConnell cartoon and the least flattering photos he can find of McConnell from now on.

I was aware of the #MoscowMitch thing trending and that McConnell was unhappy over it, but I thought piling on would be too much like trolling. Then, I saw how upset Mitch was. I changed my mind. Adding to anything that might even slightly upset McConnell’s mellow has to be a good cause.

McConnell, like most politicians who aren’t Donald Trump, are usually impervious to criticism, nicknames, and satire. Ted Cruz actually enjoys being the most disliked slug that has ever oozed its way into the United States Senate, and even seems to be aware he has a very punchable face. But this time, McConnell’s feelings have been hurt, and not because he doesn’t have a punchable face like Ted. Trust me, Mitch. You do.

He’s upset at being accused of being a Russian asset. Why are people accusing him of being a spawn of Putin? Because, right after the former special counsel Robert Mueller testified that Russians were still hacking us, even “as we sit here,” McConnell single-handledly blocked stronger election security measures.

McConnell even blocked a bill that would have made it a requirement for campaigns to report to the FBI if a foreign government was trying to give them assistance. McConnell felt the bills were “partisan” and would give Democrats an advantage at the polls. He’s right in that a fair and free election would give Democrats an advantage because most Republican ideas are greedy, evil, racist, stupid, and only seem to benefit billionaires and assholes. The majority of Americans vote against Republicans like they did in 2016 and 2018. Most Americans will vote against Republicans again in 2020.

McConnell was upset because not only is #MoscowMitch trending, but so is #MoscowMitchMcTraitor. This is a guy who, after an ad referred to him as “Cocaine Mitch,” started answering his phone with that title.

McConnell even took to the Senate floor to defend himself, seemingly unaware that if you feed trolls, that like cats, they don’t go away. Mitch called his critics “hyperventilating hacks,” and compared his treatment to “modern-day McCarthyism.” McConnell said, “Over the last several days I was called unpatriotic, un-American, and essentially treasonous by a couple of left-wing pundits on the basis of bald-faced lies. I was accused of aiding and abetting the very man I singled out as an adversary and opposed for nearly 20 years, Vladimir Putin.”

Yet, McConnell is blocking efforts to protect our elections from attacks by Russia because he wants to aid and abet Vladimir Putin. McConnell, like Trump, is welcoming the Russians help in 2020. It’s not like McConnell has ethics. He freaking stole a Supreme Court seat.

In 2016, Obama asked McConnell to speak out against Russia’s attack on our election so that defending the integrity of our democratic process would be bipartisan. Obama wanted Democratic and Republican leaders to stand shoulder-to-shoulder. McConnell refused because he didn’t want to discourage Putin or Americans from realizing that all the erroneous information they were being fed to help Donald Trump was created by Russian trolls. McConnell refused to defend America, just like he’s refusing to defend it now. Just like Donald Trump has refused to defend the nation he swore an oath to protect.

Trump came to McConnell’s defense while referring to himself, again, in the third person saying, “Mitch McConnell is a man that knows less about Russia and Russian interference than even Donald Trump. And I know nothing.” I’m sure we can all agree that Donald Trump “knows nothing.”

Mitch McConnel is upset people are calling him a Russia asset. If you don’t want to be accused of being a Russian asset then maybe stop acting like Vladimir Putin has a hand up your ass.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Transparent President?


cjones05102019

For Donald Trump, claiming he’s the “most transparent president ever,” would be like saying you’re honest while stealing from a charity.

It’d be like saying you’re a great businessman and writing a book called “Art of the Deal” during a decade of losing over a billion dollars.

It’d be like saying, “I’m the least racist person ever” while building a racist vanity project to keep out brown people.”

It’d be like attacking a Congresswoman for antisemitism after you’ve retweeted Nazis.

It’d be like complaining about undocumented workers after you’ve hired undocumented workers.

It’d be like attacking Democrats for sexual scandals after you’ve paid women to keep quiet about your diddling them.

It’d be like complaining about antisemitism after you’ve called for a ban on Muslims, called someone “Pocahontas,” accused Black Lives Matter of being thugs, referred to nations where brown people come from as “shithole countries,” called Mexicans “rapists” and “murderers,” accused black women of being dumb, said a judge is unfit because he’s of Mexican lineage, referred to immigrants as “animals,” engaged in birtherism, or praised Nazis.

It’d be like saying you’ll only hire the best people then hiring your daughter, your son-in-law, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Rick Perry, Omarosa, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, etc.

It’d be like saying, “I know more than the generals” while believing there are invisible airplanes.

It’d be like claiming you’re a great negotiator then after receiving an offer, negotiating yourself down to receiving nothing.

It’s like giving your opponents nicknames like “Crooked Hillary” and “Lyin’ Ted” then telling over 10,000 lies.

It’d be like saying you love America and you’re a patriot while ignoring that Russia meddled in our last election and is planning to do it again in the next one.

It’d be like saying, “I’ll own the shutdown,” then later saying, “They did it.”

It’d be like saying, “No one understands science more than I do” while believing noise from windmills causes cancer.

It’d be like complaining that Facebook’s bans on racists are a threat to the First Amendment while declaring there should be laws restricting a free press.

It’d be like complaining about “fake news” while retweeting conspiracy theories.

It’d be like saying you’re a “young and vibrant man” while looking like THAT.

It’d be like making fun of someone else’s hair while wearing a bleached mongoose on your head.

It’d be like questioning if Obama was born in the United States while lying where your father was born.

It’d be like complaining about someone not releasing their college transcripts while hiding your college transcripts.

It’d be like complaining about someone staging a hate crime after you’ve encouraged your rally attendants to assault black people.

It’d be like saying, “no one respects women more than I do” while grabbing them by the pussy.

It’d be like complaining about Antifa when your supporters are mailing bombs to Democrats and journalists.

It’d be like saying, “No one’s more presidential than I am” while you’re dry humping a flag.

It’d be like “writing” a book when you’re illiterate.

It’d be like saying you support our troops after you’ve said a POW is not a war hero and feuded with Gold Star families.

It’d like accusing Joe Biden of being creepy after you’ve stated that if you two weren’t related, you’d be dating your daughter.

It’d be like accusing Democrats of colluding with Russia after you invited Russians into your campaign headquarters.

It’d be like claiming you’re a family man after you had three divorces and children from three different women.

It’d be like saying you don’t support Nazis after you hired Stephen Miller.

Yeah, it’d be like that.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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