Abortion

Heifer Halftime Show

I’m old. I know less and less about pop culture the older I get even though I need a healthy enough knowledge of it for my work.

Let’s use Rihana as an example. I know who she is. I know she’s a singer with a great voice. I know the song “Shut Up and Drive” is hers because I heard it in “Wreck-It Ralph” which I’ve seen at least a dozen times. I like it. I also recognized a couple other of her tunes during her performance in the Superbowl Halftime Show. I didn’t know she had a baby or that she had taken several years off. Don’t ask me who ASAP Rocky is. I’m old and white.

First off, girl…how can you perform levitated in the air while pregnant? I can’t even climb a ladder without getting violent shakes.

So, I was watching the Super Bowl down the street from my apartment at a local bar which unfortunately closes at 9 P.M. every Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday be damned, which meant I had to leave near the end of the third quarter and race home in time to catch that shitty ending. Great game, shitty ending thanks to the refs. But, I digress.

During Rihanna’s performances, I noticed the bulge. The girl next to me whose boyfriend didn’t appreciate me talking to her until 9 P.M. said it was Rihanna’s post-baby bump. I didn’t even know Rihanna had a baby, but I thought it was really cool that she wasn’t hiding it. I found out later that it’s NOT a post-baby bump but a pregnancy…her second. And, this was a pregnancy reveal. I should call that girl to make sure she knows since I got her number. Anyways…

You know what? I think Rihanna is a badass. She performed the Super Bowl Halftime show on a levitating platform that was high enough to collide with Chinese spy balloons, she kicked ass, she exhibited confidence throughout, and she used the Super Bowl Halftime show for a pregnancy reveal. To everyone who watched her performance who said, “Meh,” go screw yourself. You get your ass up there on that platform and pull it off as well as Rihanna.

And, yes. There were critics. Not surprisingly, they’re old and white too.

Donald Trump “truthed,” “EPIC FAIL: Rihanna gave, without question, the single worst Halftime Show in Super Bowl history — This after insulting far more than half of our Nation, which is already in serious DECLINE, with her foul and insulting language. Also, so much for her “Stylist!”

Keep in mind that the entertainment at his inauguration was Three Doors Down while the parade consisted of tractors and bagpipes. Also, keep in mind that Donald Trump has insulted at least half of our nation.

Ronny Jackson, a Republican congressman from Texas who’s literally been up Trump’s ass, was upset even before her performance accusing her of making “a career of spewing degenerate filth while badmouthing America every chance she gets.” He asked, “Why is the NFL showcasing this crap? Rihanna SHOULD NOT be the halftime performer!!” 

How are Republican congressmen supposed to be fixing the border, economy, inflation, and everything else they howled about if they’re too busy fixated on Rihanna and the Super Bowl halftime show?

I don’t know what Rihanna said that “badmouthed” America, but maybe he was referencing the time she tweeted, “Fuck Trump,” or that time she said Trump is the “most mentally ill man in America.” Well, shit. I’ve said worse… much much worse about the pussy grabbing grifting bleached tangerine shitweasel with shit for brains.

Maybe Ronny “Fingers” Jackson was referencing the time Rihanna rejected the NFL’s invitation to play the Super Bowl Halftime show, citing solidarity with Colin Kaepernick and his protests for racial justice.

Other conservatives, like Ted Cruz, were too busy being outraged and flabbergasted from seeing Satan at the Grammys. He’s never had deviled ham in his life.

But just as conservatives are trying to force women to be birthing factories,and be barefoot in the kitchen, Rihanna’s doing the Super Bowl Halftime show. Maybe now they’ll try to outlaw pregnant women from showing pregnant belly bumps during football games.

What they should do is pass a law that bars can’t close during the Super Bowl.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Advertisement

Aborting Bare Arms

Why do Republicans have a hang-up about women exposing their arms and shoulders? Unless it’s Marjorie Taylor Greene or sexy Green M&M, they don’t like women to go sleeveless.

During the Obama administration, they all flipped out anytime Michelle Obama exposed her toned biceps. New York Times columnist David Brooks referred to Ms. Obama’s arms as “thunder and lightning” and that showing off her arms at White House events was “ostentatious.” Rush Limbaugh called her “fat.” Seriously, Rush Limbaugh said that.

Now, as a Trump-appointed federal judge is looking at banning abortion pills nationwide next week (really), don’t look for the protection of women’s rights in yee-haw states where Republicans are instituting dress codes banning bare arms. You know, fucknut states like Missouri and Florida.

House Republicans in Missouri used their very first session to create a rule banning bare arms, requiring all women to wear blazers, cardigans, or jackets while on the house floor. They did not create any new rules for men.

And since Florida Republicans don’t like being out-gooned by other states (like when DeSantis shipped migrants from Texas to Massachusetts so he wouldn’t be out-viled by Greg Abbott), they too have created a new rule requiring women to wear sleeves in the state capitol building. To be fair, they also enacted a new dress code for men too, banning the showing of ankles.

Bare arms and shoulders, Green M&M, men’s ankles…what kind of fetishes are we dealing with here? I still don’t understand the foot fetish a lot of guys have, so I’m never going to understand any of these Republican turn-ons.

I do predict that like banning Critical Race Theory in schools despite the fact it’s not an actual thing, the word “gay,” drag queens, and “woke,” other GOP-led state legislatures will follow suit with their own rules banning bare arms and shoulders, especially if Tucker starts talking about it. Just make sure you don’t go after Green M&M. She’s special.

What all this comes down to is just another white conservative male attempt to control women. Now that’s a fetish.

Creative note: I knew I wanted to put these two subjects into one cartoon but couldn’t figure out how to do it. I spent last night and this morning trying to write but brain no worky good. I drew out three ideas before I found it. Me smarty after all.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Hey, Ladies

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday

I can’t remember the last time I got to draw a crowd scene for CNN.

Creative note: This was roughed out at home, then drawn and colored at Starbucks.

Music note: I listened to the B-52s.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Invaded By Oz

The most troubling thing that came out of the John Fetterman/Mehmet Oz debate for me wasn’t Fetterman’s struggle to express himself after his stroke. No, the most troubling was Mehmet Oz saying the quiet part out loud.

Oz said the federal government should stay out of abortion and it should be between a woman, her doctor…and her local politician. First off, the Supreme Court is one of the three branches of the federal government, but if elected, Dr. Oz wouldn’t be the first Republican senator not to know that. They think it’s the House, Senate, and church.

As Trevor Noah pointed out about Oz’s statement, “He started that sentence like he was on the side of women, then he snuck in the politicians at the end like a teenager buying condoms at the gas station.”

Dr. Oz desperately wants to be the next United States senator representing Pennsylvania. He wants it so bad that he’s considering actually moving to Pennsylvania. And he also wants to desperately join with Republicans in the federal government and enact a national ban on abortion. What? He didn’t say that? That’s because he’s a Republican and they’re all liars.

Dr. Oz built his fortune on selling quack medications and snake oil. It’s how he can afford ten homes, mostly mansions, with one of them being a recent purchase in Pennsylvania which is being remodeled and vacant. But being a lying ignoring snake oil salesman makes him an ideal candidate for the Republican Party. They loves them some conmen.

Stephen Colbert said, “No one should have to discuss health care with their local political leaders. Especially if you live in one of those really small towns where the local mayor is a dog. ‘Making this decision was ruff. But I believe life begins at…squirrel!”‘

I have to disagree with Colbert. Discussing your health care with a dog is much safer and more rational than talking about it with a Republican.

Creative note: I wrote this cartoon last Thursday and put it on the shelf. I didn’t give it a lot of consideration until this morning. I’m in Washington, DC. I was invited to attend a seminar at The Washington Post (not because I’m a famous and important cartoonist, but because I’m a subscriber and they probably pulled my name out of a hat. There were bagels and yogurt. Nice). I only attended half the seminar as I wanted to get to work on my cartoon, though I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. Sitting at my favorite coffee shop in Washington (SoHo Tea and Coffee on the corner of P and 22nd. Check it out), I went through a few of the roughs I’ve drawn over the past few days, and seeing this with fresh eyes made me laugh. Proofer Laura said it was “disturbing.” That’s exactly what I was going for.

Music note: I listened to The Beatles through my Air Pods, though the coffee shop is playing music. But the stuff they’re playing is the “Old Town Road” song and that song about huge butts by Meghan Trainor, “All About That Bass” or something. It’s truly dreadful stuff.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Secret Republican Abortion Club

Can you believe a second woman is now accusing Herschel Walker of paying for an abortion? I can. Do you know why I can believe it? Because he did it. This is like Donald Trump and accusations of sexual assault. Who are you going to believe, Trump or the 26 women accusing him? You can’t believe people when they have a long history and pattern of lying about everything.

Let’s look at just a few of the lies told by Herschel Walker, the current Republican candidate for Georgia’s senate seat.

Herschel Walker lied about being a cop. He was never ever a cop. Never.

Herschel Walker lied about being an FBI agent. He was never an FBI agent. He said he’s been to Quantico and his campaign said he had once run a “women’s self-defense training, participating in the FBI Academy at Quantico.”
It just occurred to me that I’m an FBI agent too. How is that? Years ago, I was a guest speaker at an FBI class at Quantico. It was a class for police from across the nation about the media. Since I spoke at a training thingamajig at the FBI Academy, that makes me an FBI agent, at least when I use Herschel’s logic. The ingrates at the academy never did send me my badge.

Herschel Walker lied about graduating from college in the top one percent.

Herschel Walker lied about graduating from college.

Herschel Walker lied about having a bachelor’s degree.

Walker lied about being the founder of a charity for veterans.

Walker lied that the veterans’ charity he didn’t found is a charity, but is actually a for-profit operation which he worked for as a spokesman and has been investigated by the Department of Justice and the FBI (probably the same FBI he never worked for) for being a con.
When I worked for a newspaper, I never claimed I started or owned the newspaper. Has Herschel claimed he owns the UGA Bulldogs, Dallas Cowboys, Minnesota Vikings, Philadelphia Eagles, or the New Jersey Generals? Of course not, because nobody wants to claim they owned the New Jersey Generals.

Herschel lied when he claimed his business, Herschel’s Famous 34 Food Products (this is really a thing) donated 15% of its profits to charity. One of the charities he claims he’s donated to refused to comment and three others said they have no record of donations from Herschel or his company.
Donald Trump did the same thing, except it was his own “charity” that he never donated to but claimed he did. Instead, Trump used his charity to buy gifts for himself, like signed sports objects and portraits of himself, and to coordinate with his 2016 presidential campaign. He also used it as a con for receiving payments. Like when he did that Wrestlemania, payment from WWE went into his charity instead of to him. That way, there were no taxes on the money and Trump got to use it to buy Tim Tebow’s balls.

Herschel lied when he claimed he owned the “largest” upholstery business in the country. He doesn’t just NOT own the largest, but Herschel doesn’t and has never owned an upholstery company. I can’t even tell you the reason for this ridiculous preposterous lie. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for it. It’s like when Trump claimed he was voted Michigan Man of the Year, which doesn’t exist.
I own a trailer park and it’s the largest trailer park in the world. It’s called Clay’s Famous Trailer Park. Don’t look it up. If you claim you looked it up but couldn’t find it, then you’re lying. See how that works?

Herschel lied when he said he was a quarter Native American and that his grandmother was a “full-blooded Cherokee”. Herschel’s own mother said that’s not true. Remember when Republicans mocked Elizabeth Warren for claiming she’s part Native American? Wouldn’t it be funny if it’s discovered Herschel is related to Elizabeth Warren? Liz probably wouldn’t find it funny.

Herschel lied when he said Trump won the 2020 election. When people say this bullshit, it’s not an opinion. It’s a lie. There are no facts to support this lie. Fact, fact, fuckity fact, fact.

Walker lied about how many children he has. Currently, we’re at four, three of whom he initially refused to acknowledge. We’re still not sure there are only four.

And of course, Herschel has lied about paying for abortions. The first accuser produced a receipt and a get-well card from Herschel. Now there’s a second accuser. Are both women lying and Herschel’s telling the truth? Herschel has not given us any reason to believe him about anything…ever.

Herschel, like all Republicans, is a lying hypocrite. If Georgians make Herschel their next senator, Herschel will vote to ban abortion nationwide, even though most Republicans are saying it’s a “states” issue. Yeah, they’ll abandon that as soon as they have the House and Senate.

And soon, the only abortions there will be exceptions for will be for women knocked up by Herschel Walker.

Music note: I listened to Talking Heads and Third Eye Blind while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Herschel’s Privates

I actually heard a Republican make this argument on TV a few days ago. If Herschel Walker encouraged a girlfriend to get an abortion, or even paid for it, why that’s his personal life and we should respect his privacy. Seriously?

Herschel Walker is a lying hypocrite…and so is the entire Republican establishment.

Someone said you can nominate Satan and if he’s running against a Democrat, Republicans will vote for him. Their logic is that despite who and what he is, he’ll vote and give them what they want, which is a total nationwide ban on abortions. This makes them hypocrites and liars since they used to argue abortion is a state issue.

Republicans have already proven they’ll vote for the vilest horrendously flawed human beings to get what they want. Case in point: Donald Trump. Trump proved Republicans are liars when it comes to family values, patriotism, democracy, and fiscal conservatism. They voted for the most disgusting shitweasel on the planet and sacrificed all their principles for a Supreme Court majority, which is also made up of lying hypocritical disgusting fundamentalist shitweasels.

Herschel Walker isn’t qualified to be a United States Senator, which makes him the perfect candidate for the Republican Party, because Republicans are unqualified to lead and govern this nation. They’re also lying hypocrites.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Ixnay Abortionyay Anbay

Lindsey Graham has never been a leader or a man with convictions. He’s a spineless coward who has the great fortune of being a United States Senator representing one of the least educated and most backward states in the nation.

Graham spent the bulk of his career following Senator John McCain, a man with actual principles. A man Donald Trump hated and said was only a war hero because he was captured. Graham was one of the umpteen candidates in the 2016 GOP primary and at the time, he said the best way to make America great again was by telling Donald Trump to “go to Hell.” After the election and the death of John McCain, Graham did a 180 and crawled up Donald Trump’s ass. Good thing it was an ample ass because it needed room for other former Never Trumpers like Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Rand Paul among others.

After Trump ordered white nationalists to storm the Capitol and overturn the 2020 election to make him an Oompa-Loompa fascist dictator, Lindsey chastised Trump and said he was done with the man. After being booed in an airport, Lindsey turned around and crawled right back up Trump’s ass followed swiftly by Kevin McCarthy who had also chastised Trump.

When the FBI searched Mar-a-Lago for documents Trump stole from the federal government, Lindsey warned there would be “riots in the streets” if Trump is prosecuted and not allowed to break the law as he wishes.

In 2016, after Republicans said a president can’t fill a Supreme Court seat during an election year, a baseless argument to deny President Obama to fill the seat vacated by the death of Antonin Scalia, and so they could steal the seat for Donald Trump to fill, Lindsey Graham said that rule will apply during any election year, no matter who is the president at the time.

Lindsey said, “I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term, you can say Lindsey Graham said, ‘Let’s let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination.’ And you could use my words against me and you’d be absolutely right.”

After Ruth Bader Ginsburg died in 2020, an election year, Lindsey, then the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, rushed through the confirmation of Trump appointee Amy Coney Barrett in the span of two months. Lindsey didn’t stand by his word because he doesn’t have principles. He’s a liar.

Republicans lied about the rules on filling Supreme Court seats. People need to pay attention because lying is their nature. When they say abortion should be a state issue, they’re lying. But sometimes one of the idiots says the quiet part out loud.

Now, Lindsey Graham wants to crawl out of Donald Trump’s ass and into your uterus, which would be the first time he’s ever touched a woman.

Lindsey Graham is proposing a NATIONWIDE ban on abortion after 15 weeks. The rest of the GOP is hemming and hawing that it’s a state rights issue, and Congress shouldn’t have any say over abortion. But they’re lying. Lindsey just said the quiet part out loud which they don’t want mentioned before the midterm elections. I promise you this: Even if the GOP only takes the House, there will still be a lot of talk from them about banning abortion nationwide.

Take Virginia’s governor, Glenn Youngkin, for example. During his campaign for the governorship, he only wanted to talk about President Biden sending the FBI to attack parents who didn’t want teachers making their white kids feel glum by teaching about slavery. He dodged questions about abortion. After the Supreme Court gave states the right to ban abortion, Youngkin turned around faster than Lindsey can crawl up Trump’s ass with a “free mint juleps” sign over it, and said he’ll sign any abortion restriction law the General Assembly sends to his desk.

If Republicans take back Congress, it won’t just be Lindsey Graham trying to ban abortion nationwide. It will be the majority of them. They will ban abortion nationwide. Even the ones who are pro-choice, like Susan Collins, are dumb enough to be tricked into voting to ban abortion. If Republicans get their way, they’ll get rid of Obamacare, gay marriage, mixed-race marriage, voting rights, and maybe even bring back slavery and indentured servants. That’s their idea of making America great again.

If you really want to make America great again, vote and tell Lindsey Graham and all the anti-freedom and MAGA fascists Republicans to go to Hell.

Music Note: I listened to Billy Joel while drawing today.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Apple Watching You

Full disclosure: This cartoon was drawn on an iPad. All of my cartoons have been drawn on an iPad since June 2021, and I believe I only have 11 payments left until I officially own my Ipad.

I love my iPad and my iPhone. I love how easily they make everything. I love how they sync together. I love that when I bought my very-outdated AirPods, I didn’t have to sync them to my devices. They automatically knew each other. I like that when I take a photo, it knows where I took the photo and will later present me with a gallery of the photos taken at that location. Hey, here’s your trip to Las Vegas or your trip to New York City. To me, that’s some fun tracking.

Apple unveiled the latest versions of its iPhone and watches last Wednesday. It’s the iPhone 14 and Apple Watch Series 8. I never buy the latest newest most up-to-date tech, but I did last year when I got my iPhone 12 and iPad pro 12.8. For about seven minutes, I was up to date with the latest technology. I don’t see any reason to update again for a while. But, there are people who bought the iPhone 13 and will now rush to own the 14, and in a few months the 15, then the 16…yeah, get out of here.

And while I do like Apple stuff, I realize they screw over the people who are loyal to them. You would think that someone who spends $2,000 on an iPad wouldn’t have to shell out another $130 for the Apple Pencil (and in my case, you’d expect the pencil to actually work and not crap-out and force you to wait several days for Apple to send you a new one). Microsoft’s first few versions of its Surface Pro included its Surface Pen until they got smart and started selling it separately. The iPhone used to come with EarBuds you could plug into your device. Now, not only do they not include the free EarBuds, but the newer iPhones don’t even include the input for your old EarBuds, forcing you to purchase AirPods if you want to listen to music privately. Nobody wants anyone else to know they’re listening to Cold Play.

As usual, there are new features to these products with one for the watch being a fertility tracker. The thing tracks women’s periods and fertility and will tell her when she’s ovulating. This feature can be very cool or very scary. Some people haven’t been this upset with Apple since that time they hid a U2 album on iPhones.

I think a watch that tracks your steps can be very cool. And it’s cool that it can track your heartbeat and warn you of palpitations and stuff like that. I’m not afraid of this stuff because I’m concerned about being tracked, but because I kinda get the feeling the watch will be like, “Are you sure you want to be eating all that pork?” But some people are concerned about how Apple is tracking them and where and how they’re storing the data. Hopefully, it’s better than the system of hiding shit in a basement at Mar-a-Lago.

It’s like when the vaccines came out and a lot of people were afraid of being vaccinated by the government. White people with concerns were mostly lying conspiracy-driven fucks believing the vax contained itty-bitty tracking chips, but black Americans had a better right to be concerned about what was in the vaccines and how it’d affect them. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google “Tuskegee Syphilis Study.”

You might think we shouldn’t be too concerned about Apple storing data about us or Alexa sending all our personal deets back to her masters at Amazon, or another device tracking your sleep farts, though it does sound kinda Orwellian that not only are corporations tracking us, they’re selling us the products used to do the tracking.

That’s kinda like Nike selling you a shirt that advertises their product, and don’t get me started on my beef with YouTube showing me a commercial before I can watch a trailer to a movie. They’re forcing me to watch a commercial before I can watch a commercial. You motherfuckers, you.

But women have every right to be concerned with a corporation tracking their fertility after Republicans have wiped out abortion in nearly half the nation and working on banning legal abortion in the rest of it. And now, Apple will know when you’re ovulating and Amazon will know what tampons you’re buying. Getting ahold of this information is a Republican’s wet dream. Also, “Republican Wet Dreams” would be the worst-selling erotic novel on Amazon. Others would be “Ted Cruz comes into Bloom,” “Lindsey’s Night of Georgian Passion,” “Rand Paul: Just a Gigolo,” and “Trump’s Moist Misadventure in Moscow.” By the way, which word do women find the most disturbing? “Moist” or “Ted Cruz?”

So maybe when the government is doing all it can to erase privacy, and the Supreme Court saying the Constitution doesn’t guarantee a right to privacy except for where they live, it might be a rotten time for a corporation that’s worth over $2 trillion to sell a product made to stalk your periods.

What’s next? Is Apple going to charge us to name our children after them? Actually, Cold Play’s Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow did name one of their kids “Apple.”

I love my Apple stuff. I love my iPhone, iPad, and Air Pods, but they need to be careful about what they force upon their customers. If the new stuff includes an ebook titled, “a Moist Ted Cruz,” I’m throwing my shit out the window.

Creative note: This is from the batch drawn up before the Queen’s passing, which put everything else on hold. The rough for this was drawn up Wednesday evening after Apple released the new series. I wasn’t sure I was going to make a real cartoon out of this.

Music note: I listened to some Coheed and Cambria.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Treasonous Squirrels

While I don’t believe the raid on Mar-a-Lago was an intentional distraction, it can serve as one. Maybe that shitty thing will distract voters from all the other shitty things Republicans do.

Maybe the revelation that Donald Trump is a traitor to this nation and only cares about himself…OK, a reminder that Donald Trump is a traitor and doesn’t care about anyone except himself will distract voters from the fact that not one Republican voted for it.

The Inflation Reduction Act won’t just decrease today’s inflation, but it will provide benefits over the next decade and beyond. In addition to reducing inflation, it will decrease healthcare costs and fight climate change. It will reduce the growth of the deficit and includes a 15 percent minimum cash tax on corporations. Called the “Amazon Tax,” it is expected to raise $222 billion over 10 years and $35 billion in 2023. Republicans hate this.

Amazon, which had a seven-percent tax rate on a profit of $22 billion over the past two years, should see its tax rate increase to 15 percent, just like Tesla, which paid around nine percent over the past two years on a profit of over $7 billion.

The bill also moves to cap and lower seniors’ drug costs while sparing about 13 million low-and middle-income Americans from increases in their insurance premiums that would have risen in 2023. Republicans voted against that.

The Republican talking point against this bill is that it will add 87,000 Internal Revenue Service agents with guns to come after you. Since Republicans are saying this, it’s a lie.

The bill includes funding for the IRS which will “allow” them to add 87,000 employees, not 87,000 auditors…or the term the GOP is using, “agents.” These employees will be added over the next decade with many replacing retiring employees. In case you’re a Republican MAGA goon, a decade is ten years. The focus will be going after the mega-rich who cheat on taxes. Naturally, Republicans hate that and are telling middle-class voters they’re the ones the IRS and Democrats are going after. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy said it would allow the government to hire tens of thousands of new IRS agents to “snoop around in your bank account, your Venmo, your small business, and then the government will shake you down for every last cent.”

Someone tell Kevin McCarthy that PayPal, which owns Venmo, already files all your incoming money with the government and sends you a 1099. So, you better file the payments you received through PayPal.

Republicans are also calling it a “tax increase on families” despite the fact it doesn’t raise individual rates. Republicans lie. But you have to lie when all your ideas and policy positions are shit, like blocking a $35 insulin cap.

An amendment in the Senate to add a $35 insulin cap only received only seven votes from Republicans, meaning it failed to reach the 60-vote threshold it needed to pass. Just how shitty are Republicans to vote against this?

Insulin can cost as much as $99 in the United States. The next nation where insulin is most expensive is Chile, where it can as much as $21. Insulin is life-saving medicine for many diabetics who don’t have a choice and must buy it, no matter the price. There are diabetics in this country who choose insulin over food. This means without caps from the government, the corporations selling it can just blah-blah-blah with the excuses for the high prices while raking in billions. Republican opposition to this was blamed on the cost being shifted to insurance premiums or that they were voting against socialism. How dare government go all socialist and cut costs for insulin.

Pharmaceutical companies are just as greedy and care for their consumers about as much as oil companies do.

I forgot to include in my cartoon the GOP vote against healthcare for veterans who are suffering from exposure to burn pits. The GOP initially voted for it, then against it just so Biden couldn’t get a win. Republicans turned around and voted for it again after they couldn’t tolerate the noise level from public outrage. See? Republicans don’t care about you at all. This is just an example that their positions are not based on any values or principles.

This brings us to abortion which most Americans support. Republicans spent decades trying to overturn Roe vs. Wade and they made a lot of celebratory noise when they finally got it. Now, they’re a little quieter about it after Kansas voters rejected a state ban on abortion. Republicans don’t want voters to be reminded that most of them will force ten-year-olds to birth their rapists’ babies.

Republicans are horrible and vile creatures. Since we can’t ban Republicans, maybe we can put a cap on them. I’m thinking of a cap of 35 Republicans per chamber in Congress and every state legislature. Of course, that wouldn’t be constitutional, so hey…Republicans should love it.

This November, do not let Republicans change the subject. Yes, Donald Trump is a vile human being and a criminal who should be going to prison. But the rest of the Republican party is just as vile. Vote them out. Don’t let them take Congress.

Why give control of Congress to the people who vote against healthcare for veterans, healthcare for you, insulin caps, inflation reduction, free elections, democracy, and abortion rights while covering up for a traitor?

Music Note: I listened to some Foo Fighters B-sides. These are songs that were never on an official Foo Fighter album. They’re demos, covers, outtakes, and songs for movie soundtracks. There’s a lot of good stuff in there. The Foo Fighters have recorded a lot of covers but they’ve never put one on an album.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Lessons From Kansas

Indiana lawmakers made sure not to do one thing last Friday when they banned most abortions in their yee-haw state. They made sure not to let their citizens vote on it. It’s a lesson they learned from Kansas.

Indiana is the first state to create new limits on abortions after the Supreme Court overruled its predecessors and declared it’s not a constitutional right. This vote was just three days after voters in Kansas rejected a measure to strip abortion from the state constitution, and after a ten-year-old fled Ohio, where nearly all abortions are banned, to abort her rapist’s fetus in Indiana.

Republicans nationwide were eager to ban abortion after the SCOTUS ruling but Kansas has slowed their roll. State Republicans in Florida, West Virginia, South Carolina, Nebraska, and Iowa were talking a lot of shit until the conservative voters in Kansas spoke out. The question every conservative needs to ask who plans to enact a state ban on abortion is: Is your state more right-wing fucknut fundamentalist than Kansas? It’s a good question and someone’s actually studied it. More on that in a minute.

Indiana’s fucknut Governor Eric Holcomb signed the new ban into law faster than Josh Hawley could run from a MAGA riot he helped instigate (I’m gonna be using this one for a while). The signing was within minutes of its passage, which was from a special session he called just to ban abortion. They knew not to let their voters vote on it.

In Kansas, Republicans thought it was a safe bet their voters would ban it, but just in case, they put the measure on the primary ballot, NOT the general election ballot. Gee, why is that?
Fewer people vote in primaries than in general elections. But, Republicans, I’m sorry to say, are much more consistent than Democrats in voting in primaries and special elections. Republicans are also much more motivated by wedge culture war issues like abortion than are Democrats. But, Kansas found out that even conservatives didn’t want to totally ban abortion. And, when it finally comes down to banning abortions, Democrats turn out the vote among themselves and Independents. The GOP just learned that the hard way in Kansas. It was like that time Eddie Murphy found out the hard way his hooker was a dude.

Indiana Republican goon legislator John Young said, “I know the exceptions are not enough for some and too much for others, but it’s a good balance.” Really? It’s a good balance to take away a woman’s right to control her own body and health? If John Young had a uterus, I bet he’d have a totally different definition of a “good balance.”

A good balance would be to let Indiana’s voters vote on it. Give more women a say in how their bodies are regulated. Don’t just leave it up to goons like John Young Governor Holcomb.

Right-wing and Indiana cartoonist Gary Varvel did a cartoon of it snowing in Hell because it’s such an unlikely occurrence that yee-haw state Republicans would ban abortion. What. A. Shocker.

Protestors were at the state capital demanding their legislature allow them to vote on it. Todd Huston, the Republican Speaker of the House said, “We’ve talked about the fact that voters have an opportunity to vote, and if they’re displeased, they’ll have that opportunity both in November and in future years.” That sounds like a statement from a goon in a safe district. By his logic, Indiana shouldn’t ever have measures put on ballots, just candidates.

Jennifer Drobac, a law professor at Indiana University Bloomington said, “Law made in haste is often bad law. This highlights the fact that these guys are not anticipating how unworkable this legislation will be. This is going to impact thousands of people who get pregnant in Indiana alone.” But they didn’t anticipate how unworkable it is because they don’t care if it’s unworkable. If it forces children to have rapists’ babies, that’s workable for male Republicans. They’re not shooting rapists’ babies out of their pee-holes.

The most recent unworkable Republican law made in haste that comes to mind is the one in Florida where fascist Ron DeSantis and other fascist Floridians stripped away Disney’s special district, leaving a giant tax burden on voters in the state which they haven’t figured out how to repair yet. Their knuckles have to be raw after dragging them on the ground so quickly.

So, which states would ban abortion if it’s left up to voters? That’s a good question and Nate Cohn of The New York Times might have the closest thing we’ll get to an answer without every state holding elections on the fundamental rights of abortion.

According to the Times’ analysis, support for abortion rights is below 50 percent in ONLY seven states, and it’s close in each of those seven. In fact, it’s only within a point or two in Utah, Wyoming, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. Even in Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi, it’s within four or five points. These are close or within the margins of error. It’s possible that if left up to voters, not one state in this nation would ban abortion.

Even in Florida, where Republicans are talking big shit about banning abortion, 57 percent of its voters favor abortion rights. Texas and West Virginia are both at 52 percent in favor of abortion rights. All other MAGA-voting red states are also above 50 percent. Ohio, which has banned abortion even in the case of rape and incest, is at 61 percent. And in Indiana, which just banned abortion without letting the voters have a say, the support for abortion rights is at 58 percent. Keep in mind, Kansas overwhelmingly approved of abortion as a state constitutional right by 59 percent.

Knowing that they’d have the exact same results as Kansas, Indiana Republicans chose not to their voters made the call on abortion rights. But don’t worry. The fundamentalist fucknut goons took care of it for you.

Republicans are on the wrong side of every issue, but especially abortion, they had to steal three Supreme Court seats to overturn Roe. They’re changing election laws in multiple states to make it difficult for minorities to vote, but even with that, they should allow voters to vote on abortion. These GOP legislators are too cowardly though.

What they should do is put it on November’s general election ballot. That would increase voter turnout which is the last thing fascist Republicans want. A proven fact is that when more people vote, Democrats win more seats. Republicans are morons but they know they can’t win on the issues. It’s why they create bullshit like Critical Race Theory and gay textbooks.

Republicans, if you really want to ban abortion in America, then let Americans vote on it.

Cowards.

Music note: I listened to Queens of the Stone Age’s “Rated R” album and some Joan Jett.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: