Rage In Kansas City

I can’t even refer to the mass shooting in Kansas City yesterday as the “latest” mass shooting, because we had another one in Atlanta yesterday, and there will probably be another before I finish this blog.

The one in Kansas City has shocked the nation, not because it’s a mass shooting because we’re starting to get numb to these things, but because it happened during the parade celebrating the Chiefs’ Super Bowl victory. At this time, there is one death and 29 wounded, including nine children. Police have multiple suspects in custody.

What else can I write about mass shootings and guns in this nation? Lots, actually.

Missouri, where Kansas City is located despite Donald Trump tweeting that it’s in Kansas, has very lax gun laws. Outside of Kansas City and St. Louis, Missouri is a yeehaw state. One of its senators is Josh Run-Like-The-Wind Hawley. KC has more restrictive gun laws but many of the state’s laws override the city’s. The state even has laws that forbid law enforcement in the state from cooperating with federal agencies if it restricts a Missouri citizen’s Second Amendment rights. Yeehaw! Missouri is an open-carry state. There are places where you are not allowed to carry concealed weapons such as bars, hospitals, schools, churches, etc, but parades aren’t on the list.

The NRA-GOP solution of more guns decreasing gun crimes has once again been proven false, just like the good-guy-with-a-gun argument. The gun humpers like to howl that gun-free zones invite mass shooters, but there were over 800 law enforcement officers at yesterday’s event. The presence of over 800 armed cops didn’t deter this gunman or gunmen.

I don’t like to speculate on the motives of a shooting before we have more information about the perpetrators but I don’t think I’m crazy to suspect that all the hate and conspiracy theories directed at the Chiefs, NFL, and you know who might be a factor in this. I’m going to leave that right there until we know more.

The first thing that scrolled up on my Facebook feed this morning was an article about Chief’s tight end and Ms. Swift’s boyfriend being drunk at the parade. The person who posted it didn’t make a reference to the shooting but added derogatory comments about Kelce being drunk at a celebration. The people who commented agreed while also not mentioning the shooting. I thought it was kind of weird that after a mass shooting, the biggest impression they got from the parade was that Kelce was drunk. Ya know, something worse happened. Kelce being drunk didn’t kill anybody or injure 29 people.

Of course, I’ve also seen at least two dozen memes of the incident during the game when Kelce bumped into his head coach, Andy Reid while screaming to put him in the game. Sure, that was a bad look but I don’t think any of us can use it to analyze the type of boyfriend Kelce is to Swift from our couches. I have never hit a woman in my life (though several have hit me) but I scream a lot at telemarketers, computers, websites with too many pop-up windows, people who think boneless wings are wings, and others who put ketchup on hotdogs. There’s a huge difference between wanting to slap a ruined and violated hotdog out of your mouth and actually doing it.

And then I saw a comment about the incident being the result of something called “Pfizer rage.” I don’t want to start conspiracies about what motivated the shooting yesterday, but goons are perfectly comfortable spreading them about vaccines and the cause of Kelce screaming at his coach, as Kelce is featured in Pfizer commercials. This is why I have ideas about what motivated the shooting. Do I need to remind you what motivated the shooting at Comet Ping Pong Pizza?

We have too many fucking guns in this country, very light regulation of them, and too many crazy stupid idiotic people (Republicans). It’s a bad mix that creates an explosive cocktail.

Don’t believe me about the stupid people? Here’s my proof.

Monmouth University published a poll yesterday finding that one in three Republicans believe Taylor Swift is involved in a covert government psyop campaign to help Joe Biden win the 2024 presidential election. The belief is Swift’s relationship with Kelce was fabricated by the government as part of a sprawling psychological operations plot. The goal of the purported plot is that the Chiefs’ victory on Sunday would present Swift with an even larger pulpit from which to endorse Biden, swinging the 2024 presidential election in his favor.

But here’s the craziest part which also illustrates that Republicans don’t need evidence, proof, facts, or any of the other cumbersome things the rest of us need to establish our beliefs. Patrick Murray, the director of the independent Monmouth University Polling Institute, said in a statement, “Even many who hadn’t heard about it before we polled them accept the idea as credible.”

Get this… 42 percent of those who said they believed the conspiracy theory to be true hadn’t heard about it before the pollsters called them. How did those conversations go?

Pollster: Hi. I’m taking a poll. Do you believe in the conspiracy theories surrounding pop star Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce?
MAGAt: What are you talking about? I never heard about this. What conspiracy theory?
Pollster: It goes like this… The conspiracy theory is that it’s a fake relationship created by the deep state so that a KC win in the Super Bowl will give Swift a larger platform to endorse President Biden so he can steal the election from Donald Trump. The belief is it’s a psyop conspiracy.
MAGAt: That’s definitely true, and I bet the cannibalistic deep-state Satanic lizard people have something to do with it too.
Pollster: But this is the first you’ve heard of…
MAGAts: And I’m sure the Obamas and Rothchilds with their space lasers are major funders of this and….wait. How did you get this number?
Pollster: We tracked you through the implants in the Pfizer vaccines.
MAGAt: But I didn’t get vaccinated!!!!
Pollster: About that, yeah…we had Hugo Chavez jab you while you were sleeping.
MAGAt: AAGH! I knew it! I told my sister/wife this would happen!!!!
Pollster: Sorry about that, but there are more questions on the poll. Are birds real? Hello? Hello?

I imagine it went something like that.

If we can’t get rid of the crazy stupid people then can we at least do something about the guns? At the very least, how about the ketchup on hotdogs thing? Trump reinstalled, guns, and ketchup dogs are three good reasons to bail on this country and move to France. I’d move to Canada but Poutine kinda freaks me out.

Music note: I listened to Nirvana.

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