NRA

Bump Stock


cjones10082017

There’s something seriously messed up about you if you’re inspired to purchase a new gun accessory by a mass murderer. Whatever is wrong with you is no small thing.

After it was reported the Las Vegas shooter used bump stocks to modify about a dozen of the weapons used to kill 58 people, the small-penis collective rushed out to get their very own. It may make your semi-automatic rifle fire like a machine gun, but it won’t turn you into Ron Jeremy. Your bump stock won’t increase your chances of bumping uglies.

What exactly is a bump stock? It’s a device you attach to the butt of a rifle. It harnesses the gun’s natural recoil, and with the right hand grip it allows a shooter to push the rifle away from the body to bounce, or bump, the weapon into the trigger finger. Combine this with a magazine holding as many as 60 to 100 rounds and the shooter can fire dozens of rounds in seconds.

The bump stock doesn’t turn your gun into an automatic weapon, but it makes it act like one. With one of these devices combined with a high-capacity magazine, a shooter can kill 58 people in a crowd by shooting from a hotel room on the 32nd floor, and he doesn’t even have to aim.

There is now a call to ban these things. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan said he’s open to discussing this ban. He said he had never even heard of these things before, and he’s a sportsman. What the hell does being a sportsman have to do with shooting a gun as rapidly as possible? Are you trying to decapitate wildlife with your gun?

AR-15s and AK-47s are not made for “sportsmen.” They’re not even made for self-defense. These things are made to kill people, and to overcompensate for that small penis condition. I suppose an AK-47 is cheaper than a Porsche.

Several Republicans, including the dotard-moron in the White House, are open to discussing banning bump stocks. Even the NRA has said they’re open to regulating these things. There’s the catch. Regulating.

We don’t need to regulate bump stocks. We need to ban them. These things are legal to own and sell, though it’s illegal to actually use them. Do you want me to explain how that makes sense? I can’t.

The NRA issued a statement which partly reads, “the National Rifle Association is calling on the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (BATFE) to immediately review whether these devices comply with federal law.” They’re not calling for more legislation or a ban on bump stocks. They’re even blaming Obama for the legality of bump stocks.

The ATF approved the sale of bump stocks during the Obama administration. They felt they shouldn’t regulate them since they the invention did not technically alter a gun’s trigger mechanism. The NRA, Rush Limbaugh, Breitbart, and Kellyanne Conway, not letting a tragedy pass to get in more digs, are blaming Obama. Never mind the fact that legislation introduced by Senator Dianne Feinstein after the 2012 shooting of elementary students in Newtown, Connecticut would have banned the bump stock…but you know, Republicans killed that.

The NRA is clever, as there is more to their statement which shows their real goal. It reads, “[W]e urge Congress to pass National Right-to-Carry reciprocity, which will allow law-abiding Americans to defend themselves and their families from acts of violence.”

The NRA is jingling a shiny object in front of the public while calling for more laws to increase gun ownership. They are using the tragedy in Las Vegas to further the failed argument that more people with guns will stop bad guys with guns, though that never, ever, ever, ever, ever happens. It couldn’t have happened in Vegas. Do we really want a crowd of 20,000 people firing back at the Mandalay Hotel?

Let’s ban bump stocks but not lose focus while doing so. We need to also ban high-capacity magazines. Let’s stop selling semi-automatic weapons. You don’t need them for self-defense. Let’s put a limit on how many guns a single person is allowed to own, and let’s license and test people on a regular basis on their mental capacity and ability to own a gun. Let’s limit how much ammunition you can possess (if you’re such a good shot, you only need one bullet anyway). While we’re at it, let’s end all sales at gun shows. If that’s too complicated, then let’s just go ahead and end gun shows period. Let’s stop encouraging this national gun fetish we have that makes the rest of the world wonder just what the fuck is wrong with us.

Does this sound like I hate the Second Amendment? I don’t. Gun nuts love to say they’re “Second Amendment” people, which is a lie. It’s the only part of the Constitution they cling to, and they neglect a huge portion of that amendment. These fucknuts never cite the “well-regulated militia” part of the amendment. None of these people are in “well-regulated” militias. And, they all freak out when you bring up regulations.

The Second Amendment was written during a time when the most advanced gun was a musket. It’s as outdated as the Third Amendment, which states the government can’t put soldiers in your house. That amendment was a response to the British habit of lodging soldiers in private residences during the build up of the American Revolution. That would also explain why we threw all that tea into Boston Harbor. You want your morning tea, you snooty Brit? Go swim for it!

Quite frankly, the odds of you using a semi-automatic weapon to defend your family are about as good as Theresa May trying to board a bunch of Royal Marines in your spare bedroom.

There are plenty of rifles, shotguns, and pistols you can own. Nobody needs an Uzi. There are also pills you can take for your penis. Ask Wayne LaPierre. He can probably make some suggestions.

Creative notes: I like to come up with ideas for my cartoons that are so weird, basically no other cartoonist will be able to think of them. I probably actually succeed at it about one percent of the time. This one might fall into that. When I was drawing my cartoon about Trump and paper towels, I was worried someone else would have the same idea. This one, not so much. I mean, who else is going to put a bump stock in a Republican’s butt?

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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It Happened in Vegas


cjones10042017

The lieutenant governor of Nevada said yesterday was a great day for America. It was a great day for us because we all came together. Strangers helped strangers. Blood drives are over capacity. Go-Fund-Me’s are raising millions of dollars. The president slowly read through a prepared script and momentarily didn’t sound like an insane douche bag. We are giving each other thoughts and prayers. What a great day. What a crock of horse shit.

How about we stop having these great days when we all have to come together and give thoughts and prayers? Why can’t we have horrible days, like they do in Japan, Sweden, England, Canada, Australia, and everywhere else on the planet where they don’t have to constantly be coming together to give each other thoughts and prayers because this shit doesn’t happen anywhere else at the rate it happens in America.

And the thing is, Las Vegas isn’t anymore dangerous than any other place in the nation. That means, it can be dangerous at any given moment. How about it stop being potentially life-threatening to go to an outdoor concert, or a movie theater, or a university, or a gay nightclub, or an elementary school, or a church, etc?

We don’t know the shooter’s motives yet because he’s not brown with a beard. We don’t know what restrictions to place on us other than ignoring our gun laws. Did the guy suffer from a health crisis? Was he mentally unstable? Did he have gambling debts? Did his girlfriend just dump him? Did he really hate that Big Green Tractor song? Do we ban bad health, gambling, girlfriends, and crappy, corny, gag-inducing country songs or just all songs about tractors? Because we’re not going to touch our gun laws.

Our Second Amendment is really important. If you listen to conservatives, it means we should have access to anything that has been built to kill people. Did the founding fathers want us to have nuclear weapons or mustard gas, or does it stop at semi-automatic weapons with magazines capable of holding up to 30 bullets?

I stayed out of the online debates today, but I read a few. One of my conservative fucktard friend’s first priorities was to defend guns. He said they weren’t built to kill, they were built for sportsmen and defending your family. That’s some more bullshit. When was the last time you read about a guy needing an Uzi to defend his family from a burglary or to stop a holdup at a Starbucks? Why is it a violation of your freedom to restrict the amount of ammunition one has, or the number of semi-automatic rifles one owns. Would it violate your freedom if we stop selling semi-automatic rifles that can easily be made into automatic weapons with a $50 converting kit and a YouTube video? Why do innocent people have to do die because you have to compensate for your tiny penis?

We don’t change our gun laws. We even made it easier for mentally unstable people and sketchy people on the no-fly list to buy guns. And, we have thoughts and prayers. Each time this happens we give thoughts and prayers. And when it happens again, we give more thoughts and prayers, and we do it the next time and the next time. I’m starting to think thoughts and prayers aren’t enough.

I’ve already seen a few cartoons on this. The conservative cartoonists (and there are several) didn’t touch the gun subject. They had Uncle Sam hugging, or Hell was waiting for the bad guy. Bad guys don’t go to Hell. Bad guys rent corner suites on the 32nd floor overlooking an outdoor concert and bring Hell to everyone else. The bad guy has over 23 semi-automatic weapons in his hotel suite because they’re easy to purchase in America, and he had 19 more at home. When the rare shooting does occur in another nation, you don’t hear of the bad guy owning 42 fucking guns.

Am I the only one this sounds ridiculous to? Forty-two guns. Our freedom mandates someone can own 42 guns? I don’t think I own 42 of anything. Hell, I only have five guitars, six if you count the one sitting busted in a guitar case.

Do we even mark this as an act of terrorism? If the guy was brown you can bet your ass Donald Trump would have tweeted out it was definitely terrorism. But in this case, the guy was old, rich, white, angry and born in the good ole U.S. of A. In fact, he sounds like he fits Donald Trump’s demographic. Maybe we should deport old, fat, rich, angry, American-born white guys.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the president’s spokesgoon, said, “now is not the time to discuss gun control.” Right about the point that we can talk about gun control there comes another incident making it the time not to talk about gun control. But, we can thoughts and prayers the shit out of it.

I gave up on this nation ever doing anything about the mass distribution of guns when we decided we can live with 20 children being gunned down in an elementary school. It’s easier to live with dead babies than with restrictions on our guns, or worse yet…gun lobbies not handing checks to Republicans. But, we can give those children thoughts and prayers. If you’re accepting money from the NRA or defending the rampant mass distribution and easy access to weapons only designed to kill human beings, there is no amount of thoughts and prayers that will wipe the blood from your hands.

Personally, I’d rather be forced to listen to that Big Green Tractor song than hear one more person say “thoughts and prayers.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Loud Boom Boom


cjones01152017

The Republican nimrods in Washington aren’t content with repealing Obamacare, moving the American Embassy in Israel just to piss off Muslims, handing HUD over to a guy they wouldn’t give their car keys to, and stripping ethics out of Congress. Now they want to make it easier to purchase silencers for guns. All future mass shootings will now sound like your neighbor’s Prius.

Not only do Republicans and the friendly monsters at the NRA fight and scramble to make access to firearms as easy as possible for murderers and rednecks with small weenies, now they want to make it easier for them to be sneaky about it.

What’s the deal with gun nuts anyway? They have to have the largest firearms with the most firepower that can shoot the most rounds at the fastest speed possible so they can overcompensate for their dinky manhood, yet they’re too loud for them?

You want to be obnoxious yet be quiet about it? You don’t see bikers going to a Harley Davidson shop and ask if they make quiet models? Bikes, like guns are made so people can be assholes. Don’t be a total wimp about it, Nancy Pants.

I am aware silencers aren’t as quiet as they’re depicted in movies. They don’t actually make a low sharp little “pyew pyew pyew” sound. There’s still a bang but it’s muffled, like a car with a muffler. In fact, the same guy who invented car mufflers invented the silencer. See? I research.

Even though they’re not technically silent, and officially they’re called “suppressors,” and they still “bang,” they’re still a lot quieter than guns without muzzles. Someone could easily fire more rounds in a noisy environment like an airport, night club, Congress, before people are aware there’s another national tragedy occurring. Silencers can also be effective in confusing people as to where the shots are coming from (here’s a clue: Look for the angry white guy).

It’s a dumb idea to make it easier for the public to purchase silencers. It’s bad enough idiots in Texas can’t go to Starbucks without an AK strapped to their back. Gun advocates are claiming it’s a safety issue to protect their hearing. There’s two other ways to protect your hearing from guns. One is to purchase earmuffs. How freaking inconvenient is that? It’s gotta be a lot cheaper than purchasing a silencer. Another way to protect your hearing is to stop shooting guns. Stop going to a gun range. That’s like going to a Nascar event and complaining the cars are loud. Surprise! It’s noisy. Next thing you’re going to do is complain that fish taste fishy.

All the self-styled Rambos and Dirty Harrys out there need to get a grip on something other than a Glock. Their new toys and overcompensation shouldn’t take away the liberty of people to survive.

You wanna silence something? Try Trump’s mouth. That is if they can make a muzzle large enough.

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Unclaimed Baggage


cjones01092017

Can you recall each and every single mass shooting and the locations listed in this cartoon? Do you remember the number of those killed by guns? Do you know the victims’ names? You don’t and you can be excused from that. I didn’t recall each of them before I created this. It’s because there’s been too many.

San Bernardino, 14 dead. Colorado Springs, three dead. Roseburg, Oregon, nine dead. Chattanooga, five dead. Charleston, nine dead. Isla Vista, six dead. Fort Hood (two different attacks) 16 dead. Washington, DC, 12 dead. Santa Monica, five dead. Newtown, 27 dead. Oak Creek, six dead. Aurora, 12 dead. Oakland, seven dead. Seal Beach, eight dead. Tucson (two different attacks), nine dead. Manchester, eight dead. Binghamton, eight dead. Dekalb, five dead. Omaha, eight dead. Virginia Tech, 32 dead. Columbine, 13 dead. Killeen, 22 dead. Edmond, 14 dead. San Ysidro, 21 dead. Minneapolis, six dead. Orlando, 50 dead. And from last Friday we have Fort Lauderdale with five dead (at this time).

This cartoon presents a small sampling of mass shootings in the U.S. That’s 340 deaths from guns listed here. They were all killed in places where the National Rifle Association, Republicans, and our president-elect believe there should be more guns.

These events fade from our memories as more massacres are added to the list. The NRA should remember each location, number of deaths, and the names of the victims. It should haunt their dreams. Instead they use the blood to raise more money to feed to more Republicans which in turn creates more gun deaths.

The NRA wants to forget their baggage and deny their responsibility. We should make it our duty that they never forget.

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JASTA Reckless Law


cjones09302016

Congress overrode President Obama’s veto of a law allowing victims and their families of 9/11 to sue Saudi Arabia.

This is the first time Obama has had a veto overridden but to be fair he hasn’t exercised that many vetoes. He complained that it was politics and he’s correct, but this time it wasn’t partisan. The entire Senate voted to override except for Harry Reid.

It was politics because Congress is full of cowards. This is a very sloppy law that’s dangerous for the United States but who wants to run for reelection and have their opponent argue you voted against 9/11 widows and children? That would be tougher to overcome than calling a woman “Miss Piggy.” It’s not that Harry Reid is the only brave member of the United States Senate. He’s not running for reelection. He’s a super rich guy retiring in Las Vegas. Why should he give a rat’s butt? For everyone else though, yikes.

The bill, titled “the Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act” (JASTA), gives the victims’ families the right to sue the Saudi government in U.S. court for any role it may have played in the 2001 attacks, which were carried out primarily by 19 al-Qaida hijackers, 15 of whom were Saudi nationals. Never mind the fact they were taught how to fly planes in the United States by Americans, or that the U.S. airlines allowed them to board with pocket knives and box cutters. I guess chain saws would have been a little too suspicious.

I’m still mad over 9/11. I’m angry at the assault. I’m upset at the loss of innocent lives. I’m angry we used it to justify invading the wrong country. I’m even angry we still have to take off our shoes at the airport. And at Reagan National in D.C. it totally screwed up parking. I would love for someone to keep paying for what they did to us but this is a bad law.

How is this bad? Foreign governments may retaliate. They may pass laws allowing their citizens to sue us. You might think “so what?”. It would work the same way it will work here. If a family wins a lawsuit against Saudi Arabia the money will probably be taken from Saudi assets in the U.S. They may do that to U.S. assets in their nation. Our drone strikes may suddenly become very expensive and who says that Iraq wouldn’t someday sue us for our little invasion which may have killed over 30,000 of their citizens. What if they sue us for the Kardashians? This could get really bad.

Another unintended consequence could land George W. Bush and Dick Cheney in a world court for war crimes. Cheney never even got sued for shooting that guy in his face. He’s probably still spitting out pellets. As much as I’d love to learn how heart transplants would work for Dick in a foreign prison and see future paintings by W. of prison bars, it’s still a bad idea.

Congress is already talking about amending the bill. They know it’s bad. We’ll probably see a few adjustments in the next session under our new president, whoever she is.

Congress wants to blame Saudi Arabia for actions of their citizens they can’t control but they don’t bear any responsibility for gun deaths in our nation. Congressional Republicans has made it as hard as possible to sue gun manufacturers. Fine. Maybe victims of gun violence should sue the Republican party and the National Rifle Association. You know they have plenty of money.

We need to erase a law that will provoke other nation’s to sue us for our neglect and stupidity. President Trump could become an even larger liability.

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Jump In This


cjones06222016

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Is That An Alligator In Your Pocket?


cjones06172016

I know. Go ahead and give it to me. This is very insensitive and has poor timing. I’m not good with sensitive or sacred cows…or in this case, reptiles. At least I didn’t go with my first heartless idea which consisted of an alligator eating Mickey Mouse. Pissing off the NRA, Trump, and Republicans I’m good with. Disney on the other hand….ugh.

If there was a huge money-making alligator industry and rednecks used them to overcompensate for their tiny penises, there would be a trade organization buying off congressmen to make sure anyone could buy an alligator at any time.

Right now the Democrats in the U.S. Senate are conducting a filibuster to force the Republicans to schedule a vote on gun control. This has totally stopped all Senate business….which means it’s pretty much like any day in the Senate.

Republicans HATE to talk about gun control. The only issue they hate talking about more is Donald Trump. If you really wanna flummox a GOP office holder, ask him about Trump’s revolving position on guns.

Creative note: I’ve had a theme with alligators the past few days. Last week I drew Donald Trump with alligator arms (played that off a Geico commercial). Today I drew a commissioned cartoon with crocodiles for a brand new client that’s based outside the United States (Claytoonz is going international. You’ll see it Friday). Now today I drew this. I can’t help it. I like reptiles.

I really like reptiles. I once worked in the reptile house of a small zoo in northeast Louisiana in the late 1980’s. My favorite story from that brief adventure comes from the day we cleaned the alligator pool. I didn’t do any actual cleaning but it was my job to keep the gators and Alligator Snapping Turtles away from the cleaners. I was armed only with a stick. There were five gators in the tank. They were all under six feet long except for this one mother. Before we could drain the pool we had to get one gator out which we did with a lasso. That took several hours. Some genius designed the pool where the drain was in the deep end and had to be manually unplugged. Nobody likes diving with alligators.

The alligators cooperated for the most part. The turtles, not so much. In fact, the turtles concerned me a lot more than the gators.

A large chunk of my childhood was spent in Louisiana. When I was a kid my older sister and I swam in a bayou with them. As a teenager my buddies and I swam in the same water. We never had an issue. When I was around ten or eleven we actually had two pet baby alligators, which was and still is illegal. I didn’t know that at the time and thankfully, the statute of limitations has long passed. We only had them for about a week. They weren’t as cuddly as we thought they might be. I got bit a lot. They never bit my sister once.

I do feel really bad for the parents who lost a child this week in Orlando to an alligator attack. That city had one tragic week. Losing a child under any circumstance is a horrible thing to live with. I know. It’s something I’ve been very close to. I’m sure Disney will never make this family wait in line for Pirates Of The Caribbean ever again.

A lot of people are asking questions about the parents, just like when that Cincinnati gorilla thing happened. Thing is, things happen. This is a freak occurrence that’s a true tragedy. I don’t think there are any safety measures that can prevent something like this happening once in a million years, especially after you build tourist resorts on a swamp.

Before posting this I searched for hashtags and one of them is “Disney Gator” which sounds a lot happier than it really is.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!