Kansas City Chiefs

Hey, Hey, Hater Kansas City


I know from the history of this website that I have readers who don’t watch football. I know. Crazy. I once had a reader tell me I should go into more depth to explain who Tom Brady is. But anyway, let me give the backstory to this.

Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs are racist assholes. There. Backstory done.

No? OK. I’ll provide more information.

In case you’re a Republican, Kansas City, where the Chiefs of the National Football League play, is in Missouri. It’s not in Kansas like Donald Trump believes. Seriously. But anyway, Thursday night was the kickoff to the new NFL season. While most game won’t have fans in attendance, the Chiefs allowed about 17,000 into the 60,000 plus stadium to watch the game. And during a moment of unity, the fans booed.

What? Who boos unity? Apparently, Kansas City boos unity.

Let’s get something straight here. To believe in unity is to believe in peace. To believe we’re all equal and should have the same civil rights, opportunities, and equality is not a crazy Democratic Party, radical-left, foie gras-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, long-haired hippy, commie ideal. It shouldn’t be political to believe we should all get along. It shouldn’t be partisan to think our children should live in a world where they’ll never experience hate directed at them.

After it was announced that in addition to the national anthem being performed before the game, that “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” considered to be the black national anthem, would also be performed, conservatives became outraged. How weird is that? If they weren’t told it was the black national anthem, they would have been fine with it. I’ll bet you a hairy nickel they wouldn’t have been outraged if the song being added was “Sweet Home, Alabama.”

Basically, these people are saying they’re done with the NFL because the league wants to be nice to black people. Donald Trump yells it’s why the ratings are going down.

Before, these jerks were outraged at Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during the national anthem and lied claiming he was disrespecting our troops when he was really taking a knee for equality and against racism and oppression.

Donald Trump, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement in the United States doesn’t believe white privilege or systemic racism exists and that anyone who does has “drank the Kool-Aid.”

But in Kansas City, they took it a step further by booing unity. When the players of both teams locked arms for a moment of silence, it wasn’t silent. The crowd booed. Conservatives aren’t happy with loud protests or silent protests. So, when can we protest against racism? Oh, never? Yeah, that’s it. Donald Trump teargassed a peaceful crowd for protesting racism.

The Chiefs fans didn’t boo kneeling during the national anthem. They didn’t boo a statement like, “Defund the police.” They didn’t boo a giant picture of George Floyd. They didn’t boo the organization Black Lives Matter. They didn’t boo someone saying, “Black lives matter.” They booed equality. They booed peace. You would have thought from the boos that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was singing “Say It Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud” while burning a pile of cheeseburgers and standing on an American flag.

But no, These fuckers were booing something anti-racist. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, we’ll keep our racism, thank you very much.”

Booing unity is like booing puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. Puppies, tacos, and sandwiches are awesome. Everybody likes puppies, tacos, and sandwiches. But then again, the leader of the racist conservative asshole movement doesn’t like puppies, eats his tacos in a bowl, and only eats sandwiches from McDonald’s.

Last year, I was very happy for the coach of the Chiefs, Andry Reid. They won the Super Bowl and it was a long time coming for the old coach. I think Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the league and he’s an awesome kid. But, I will be rooting against the Chiefs this year. I’m not so much rooting against the Chiefs as I am against Chiefs fans.

You booed unity, Kansas City. What the hell is wrong with you to boo unity?

Boo, Chiefs fans. They’re a bunch of racist jerks.

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Can’t Find Kansas City


I don’t know who has it harder, Trump supporters attempting to Trumpsplain his latest act of stupidity, the government agency tasked to argue that Missouri is Kansas, or future historians when they try to explain just how stupid our president (sic) truly was.

This morning, I went to a few conservative friends’ Facebook pages to see what the daily outrage was. It’s pole dancing and thrusting hips at the Super Bowl halftime show and Trump haters mocking him for congratulating the state of Kansas for the Kansas City Chiefs winning the Super Bowl. I’m surprised he didn’t congratulate the Chefs.

There is a Kansas City in Kansas, but that’s not the city the Chiefs represent. That city is in Missouri. After Trump’s tweet, it was deleted then reposted with “Missouri” replacing “Kansas.”

Last week, CNN caught heat after Rick Wilson, a Republican strategist, made fun of Trump and said he couldn’t find Ukraine on a map if you put a big U on it and a picture of a crane. The heat was for their disrespect and laughing at Trump supporters. But last night, Donald Trump proved Wilson correct. The man doesn’t know geography which can be added to the huge list of shit Trump doesn’t understand.

After becoming president, he learned Puerto Rico is an island and that islands are surrounded by water. He referred to the Governor of Puerto Rico as the President of Puerto Rico (Trump is the president (sic) of Puerto Rico). He told the Prime Minister of India, “it’s not as though you have China right on your border.” He claimed the border wall with Mexico was in Colorado. He thought Belgium was a city. He thought Paris was in Germany. He was shocked to discover Nepal and Bhutan were their own countries and not a part of India, pronounced them “nipple” and “button.” At least he didn’t call Bhutan “buttcrack.” He can’t pronounce “Tasmania.” He thinks there’s a country in Africa called “Nambia.” He thinks the Persian Gulf is called the “Arabian” Gulf. He blamed Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, nations that border the Baltic Sea, for being responsible for the war in the BALKANS (and his wife is from the Balkans). And don’t get me started on his confusion with England, the United Kingdom, and Great Britain.  He also thinks Ireland is a part of the United Kingdom.

You can be forgiven if you don’t understand everything in the above paragraph, but you’re not the president of the United States. And quite frankly, you should understand all the geography in the above paragraph.

Trump’s supporters’ response to his latest flub is to point out that Obama once said “57 states” when he meant 47. Republicans are too stupid to realize that even if Obama truly believed there are 57 states, it doesn’t defend Trump’s stupidity. If you and I both get zeros on a test, your stupidity does not make me smarter. Also, Trump sycophants have to go all the way back to 2008 to find something stupid Obama said. I only have to go to last night for something stupid from Trump, and today’s not over yet.

Here’s the painful truth: The president of the United States (sic), as former Secretary of State so eloquently put it, is a fucking moron. And while some people want to steer clear of making fun of Trump’s supporters, sycophants, and members of his cult. I won’t. You’re all fucking morons.

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